Proven Mental Hacks to END Your negative self talk | Ed Mylett & Jim Kwik

your brain is like a supercomputer and your self talk is a program it will run so if you tell yourself you're not good at remembering names you will not remember the name the next person you meet because you program your supercomputer not to they say them with two most powerful words in English language are also the smallest I am because whatever you put after that complete that sentence whist is gonna determine your destination your your destiny and I also feel like you have to fall in love again with the person in the mirror who has been through so much but it's still standing don't you know yourself you need the courage to be yourself welcome back to max outt everybody I met my left let me ask you a question before we begin today do you have any sense right now like you feel like you're just overloaded and you're overwhelmed with information in your life maybe you're having a hard time getting focused you get distracted pretty easily maybe your concentration sort of suffers a little bit your memory issues well my guest here today is an expert on optimal brain performance on learning on learning quickly and on maxing out your capacity to think and perform in your life and it was early born out of some tragedy out of some some difficult events out of his childhood he's turned those tragic events into becoming a world renowned expert on brain performance and today I'm really blessed because I've been chasing this guy for a while I've wanted him to share his brilliance with you the audience and I'm grateful that he's here today because we're about to change your life and change the way you learn think and perform so my guest today is the great Jim quick Jim thank you and thank you so much I was looking forward to this so much me too brother we've been uh we've had great conversations off-camera and I'm so excited because I know there's some shows I know that we do that are inspirational and then there are shows I know that are going to inspire but also by the end of the program people's lives are just measurably better and they can perform better and today is heavy note-taking if you're driving in the car you're gonna want to hear it but you're gonna want to get back and listen to the video or something to to write the notes down we're gonna cover so let's just go back just a little bit cuz I want to get people context because I really believe life happens for us not to us and it's the meaning in our life of the events that happened to us not the event but the meaning we take from it and so you've become this world-renowned expert you've worked with the Dalai Lama Richard Branson some of the highest profile celebrities in the world most successful businesspeople but it's ironic that that was founded out of a boy with a broken brain right and that was because you had fallen and hurt your head is that right like a five year older toast that story broke well you know it's funny I just posted this on Instagram today I said difficult times could define us they could diminish us or they could develop us you decide because ultimately we do decide and yeah when I I know I'm such a big fan of yours and can follow up your work and and first of all before we get started I appreciate everyone who's watching this and what I love is you are the person you are on and off camera oh thank you in that that that means a lot to me you know your humility because you're so accomplished and so the reason why I'm excited about this is because I think this message we have to talk to people about you is so important because your brain controls everything yeah right it would see people see me on stage they'll see me have a hundred people stand up and I'll memorize all their names as they introduce themselves or a hundred words or a hundred numbers that they gave me forwards and back I've seen this man have a hundred people give him two numbers out of sequence and he'll repeat back a hundred people's more numbers like this and here's the thing I always tell people I don't do this to impress you I do this to express to you what's really possible because the truth is every single person that's listening and watching this could do that and a lot more oh my god the thing is we weren't taught you know if anything we were taught a lie that somehow our our capabilities our potential our memory for instance or learning abilities or intelligence is somehow fixed like our shoe size and it's absolutely not true we've discovered more about the human brain in the past 20 years and the previous 2,000 years combined how what we found is we've grossly underestimated our own potential our own capabilities and that's a thing it's just because we weren't taught and I really think the nature of the work that you do that I do that our community is really backing is about transcending means about ending the trance well transcend and the trance ending this massive gnosis in media and marketing that's telling us that we're broken yeah that we need to be fixed and then we're not enough and I feel like that is what's holds us back you know disillusion if you will Rebecca Morgan did you feel that way as a little guy you know when I was 5 years old as you mentioned I had this accident head trauma brain injury traumatic brain injury after that my my parents said I was never the same you know it became extremely shy introverted I had learning difficulties I was labeled and a label is tough right you know when you're put in special classes I couldn't understand things my my teachers would repeat themselves four or five times and I would pretend understand yeah like sometimes we do as an adult soon as we have this imposter syndrome we always want to you want to look good we don't ever make a mistake which I feel like also holds us back in this space the things you teach can affect someone's life like this and that's what I love so can we talk about some of those things absolutely I'm fascinated I like look at me right we only have an hour I wish we had 17 but you said if there was one skill to master of the 21st century yes in your opinion it is what what would you say your ability learn faster to learn I really do believe that if there was let's say let's say there was a genie and they could grant you one wish anything you want yeah most people would wish for more wishes that would be the hack right you got somebody happy using a lot is gonna be one wish you asked for more wishes but if I was a learning genie and I can help you learn any subject any skill you know anything would you one boat would you wish for you would ask to learn how to learn I did a program at Google and I remember hearing this from the chairman said the amount information that's been created from the dawn of humanity since human beings walked the earth to the year 2003 which is only about a decade and a half ago that amount information is now created every two days oh my gosh 48 hours online think about the blogs the podcast of social media that much content our brain they say we use such a small potential of it use all our brains that some people use them more efficiently than other people but you talking off a lot about the way we were learning a hundred years ago is still the same way we're taught to learn in a simple thing you said because almost everybody listen to this well I know they are their listeners it's a podcast right they're taking notes they they go to seminars they take notes they're reading books and just a simple difference in the way we take notes even you have told I didn't even realize this but you're this is an old way to take notes there's a different way to experience even note-taking can you give so much so I recommend everybody takes notes of this specific episode because it used to retention people don't realize this there's a learning curve but there's also a forgetting curve science is saying that within two days just 48 hours of listening to a podcast reading a book going to a conference getting a coaching 80% of it up to 80% is lost incredibly and that's you know as somebody who's investing time energy treasure into something to lose all that you know and so you want to be able to to hold that on and so one of the ways of doing is by taking notes and we did a whole episode on proper note-taking and really one that's more brain friendly most people then what they found is the worst way of taking notes actually is verbatim which is the way I take notes yeah for being a useful full transcription and they study this you know at universities because they test people that people take word-for-word and one of the reasons why is because there's just so much information I do have 18 pages of word-for-word you don't even know what's the most important but they found the best way of actually taking notes where were more on keywords and and relevancy so for example one of the ways of taking notes that I recommend is taking a piece of paper and putting a line straight down the page good and on the left side what I'm doing is I'm capturing information capturing so we could talk about how to remember names and how to read faster and how to learn skills the best from any danger habits now beyond the left that left hand call you're capturing information but on the right side instead of capturing you're creating what does that mean it means that you're right you're creating and you're building on this you're putting your impression so essentially on the left side you're taking notes but on the right side you're making notes and there's a clear distinction right between just capturing information and actually create the creative process why is that matter you'd be it matters because if your first of all for focus a lot of people's when they're listening something their mind wolf go somewhere else they'll get distracted so here instead of it going somewhere else it goes on the right side of the page which is let's say left side raipur and praying look at brain right brain left brain is more logical and were language and and linear but on the right side is your imaginations your creativity right so your creativity go there the other thing is it forces you to ask questions I believe that questions are the answer I think it's the essential for understanding for critical thinking for focus you for learning if you ever want to read something to you let's say people feel absent-minded they forget where they put things their wallet the purse their there their keys or if not their keys something larger like their car you see the people in the funny because they forget they parked their car but I read a page in a book it's in and forget what they just read they'll get a name from somebody and they'll just forget it right away yes one of the ways to insulate that just ask questions right to ask questions about something so for example when I'm taking notes I'll capture information on the left side but on the right side I'll write questions I have about what I'm learning I'll ask myself questions like how I'm gonna apply it you know what might the biggest challenge I have with the self-help personal development industry is that there's this massive lie that's being spread saying that knowledge is power yeah thinking is the process of asking and answering questions to yourself that's why left and right page here matters every state with us on that that's all thinking is that's all thought exactly and they're capturing your thinking and even the greatest minds out there they journal they can always creative you know you think about Leonardo da Vinci are Marie Curie like they had their journalists or worth fortune yes right and it's interesting asking this question is because they were geniuses can I say genius I don't mean IQ they're exceptional in their field yes right whether you're sports the other is technology finance energies GM relationships interpersonal skills interpersonal communication is it because they're geniuses that they're taking all these notes or is because they're creating all these notes that may come genius all right and so it's interesting and so I like to journal and I think that that's extremely important and like the questions though to take and knowledge in turn action three main questions I obsess about number one is how can I use this good I asked this all the time because I don't learn for the sake of learning I learn for the sake of some kind of benefit from here somebody Caribbean with you this would be the right side of the pages objectives right so I'm taking notes and I'm but I'm obsessed about it so even I'm not right down even when I'm having a conversation with somebody are missing I'm in a conference how can I use this okay and this is the creativity part it's like oh wow these are all the ways I could use this okay and apply this the second question I asked religiously is after I asked how can I use this I'm asking myself why must I use this why must I use this because here's the thing a lot of people know what to do they don't do what they know you can't come up with one reason you're not gonna remember because reasons weep results okay reasons reap results reasons reap rewards right on simon Sinek start with why yes right always get into this so has yourself why and the questions make a that makes all the difference so first question how can I use this and that's the creativity you come with all these ideas why must I use this correct the reasons why and then the third question I asked a lot is when will I use this okay and I think one of the most powerful productivity performance tools there are are our calendars right it's like art that app calendar app or if you keep a physical calendar that's important because if it's not there it's not real right right you schedule this in and then it becomes real and it's gonna happen eighty-nine percent to 100 percent of the people listening to this struggle with remembering something basic like somebody's name okay okay so help us so I know a little bit of that is what you just shared there that similar technique so I mean in business alone I can tell you people's favorite topic is not their sports team or their children or anything people's favorite topic is them right and one other favorite their favorite sounds is the sound of you saying their name yeah and oftentimes most of you in a business setting you know this the minute you've heard their name you've forgotten it like those car keys that you lose periodically but you lose their name constantly and so this concept that you just shared about association with something you already know is that one of the things you do remember it is here we go so here we go now you want to take notes on this I think one of the most important business etiquette networking you know skills if there was one is that your ability to remember someone's name yes because how are you gonna show somebody hearing care for their business their future their finances their health whatever it is you have to offer them if you don't care enough just remember them yes because what's the message we send to somebody when we ask them for their name again two or three times you're not important or not important good right and that doesn't matter what you say after that it's it's it's null and void you're right and so people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care and here's the thing and my handle who said it beautifully people won't remember what you say they won't remember what you did but they'll always remember how you made them feel and that's going back to the emotion again right and so that caring is everything nothing sells like caring the truth is you could always remember that name okay and that's so I'm calling you I'm calling people are watching this on their BS yes you and when you say you're not gonna remember names that's not true you just remembered somebody's name why what's the difference you're motivated so the M in max out the M stands for motivation a little bit and I would say how do you do it ask yourself questions you even elevate your level of motivation you can ask yourself what's my level of motivation to remember something or to learn this or to remember this name you could say zero to 10 give it a number of five well and here's some this mine hack how do i how do i double the thought experiment earn it from five to seven okay what I need to think about differently like how that person's gonna feel or the business I get pray for them or just you know learning these skills better all right you know I Tony says what do you know what you practice in private you rewarded for in public right and so this is he maybe it's just a skill that you're practicing so motivation I remember I was doing a training in Silicon Valley and after I was done somebody comes up to me it was Bill Gates and I asked him like if you have any one superpower would be like Jim the ability to read faster and Warren Buffett was like I wasted probably ten years of my life reading slowly and that's that's why reading and speed reading is so important because people spend about four hours processing information a day you think about all the emails and the business plans and the books and all the stuff you have the process yes if you could just double your reading speed you can go from four hours to two hours you saved two hours a day what's two hours a day over the course of a year actually let's say you just save one hour day that's 365 hours a year credible that's how many 40-hour work weeks nine nine two months probably more than two months productivity saving one hour a day and something ubiquitous like you're like reading that's why we do so much like for people are you watching watching this I know a lot of people are entrepreneurs they have teams the biggest line-item right is human capital yeah right hey we're sure and but if they're reading four or five hours a day that means half of their salaries being paid to read right so if someone's getting paid eighty thousand dollars forty thousand just to read that's why we train at Nike and Google and General Electric and all these individuals because that's that's the faster you could raise the collective intelligence of your a team you know the more that they can be competitive me right yeah so going back to this the M is motivation so I would always say if you want to learn something new check in with your motivation because here's the thing all learning is state-dependent all learning is to dependent this is the thing information combined with emotion becomes a long-term memory we know that and we're we know this because ultimately the experts not always a person on the podcast or on stage you are your own expert so genius leaves clues your genius leaves Clues all the time so when somebody is exceptional in some area there's a method behind the magic including for your own self so you don't remember all names but you certainly don't forget all names you now we go and deconstruct that decode that usually the names you remember our names you're motivated to you're somebody that is attracted to somebody somebody that could be good for their business right so there's the emotion there so emotion tied to information becomes a long-term memory because here's the thing you when is there like a song or fragrance or food that could take you back to when you're a kid you're absolutely because information tied with that emotion becomes a long-term memory but here's the thing back in school back in school what was the primary emotion we felt boredom right but half the room is bored the other half is confused but on a scale of zero to ten what's boredom zero zero information times emotion at the emotion zero what say anything times zero zero and you wonder why you forgot the president's this the Capitol is the the periodic table all the things you learned in school because the emotion level was very oh wow right that's why entertainment is so is so powerful because education may be empowerment's here entertainment is way up here because of that ain't that emotion but when you can infuse emotion into a learning process and part of that is human motivation because I remember the second question and we were I was talking to to Bill Gates about the you know he's like read but I'd like to be better at all i totally can help you with that because leaders are readers yeah clearly um and on top of that i was like or talking about the future education and i was talking about accelerated learning and he was talking about tools and technology and some and bunch of crowd was was was building and they said what's missing you know you have the tools you have the theory and we were like became the same as that conclusion motivation or vision right understanding human motivation why can somebody learn something not apply it you know to be able to get that benefit together to execute that and i gotta have a theory on that we could talk about what why people procrastinate why why they put things off but going back to the emotional level tap into the second age which is your heart now the a what I was saying max out as people are going through this just a simple acronym the a I would say is accountability and accountability and this is again we haven't gone into the technique but just owning it good because most people are not responsible they feel like you know why is because we were trained that way we get to work with Elon Musk and I do trainings for him and SpaceX the rocket science so a huge amount information available process yeah able to focus and so on and be able to retain and apply and you know he's building a world of electric cars with Tesla he's building a electric cars and spaceships going to Mars right but the vehicle choice for education is like a horse and buggy how people learns like a horse and carriage and you wonder why you're falling behind and here's why we all grew up with the 20th century education 20th century education that period prepares for a 20th century world and at the turn of the century is working in farms and factories and here's the thing it trained us just to consume information a teacher would lecture and you just consume information yes but the human brain does not learn through consumption it learns through creation isn't it interesting that school will teach you what to learn math history science but the important subjects basically but but not how do they learn what were the class on creativity imagination strategy problem-solving entrepreneurship critical thinking right where's the classes on listening right on emotional intelligence where are the classes on speed reading where are the classes on on remembering right Socrates says learning is remembering because nobody I got was a NAS at Google they're like Jim but we have a search end why do we need to retain all this information here's the reason is because I'll give you a couple reasons number one your brain is like a muscle it's use-it-or-lose-it but people are suffering from digital dementia this is the new term in healthcare digital digital dimension where we're so dependent our smart devices he keeps our to Do's it does it does some simple math for us I went to dinner the other night and it was 10 of us literally 10 of us the waiter comes with it with the check and half of the 10 people pulled out their phones to divide the j10 yes and if people are listening to us they don't understand why that's a problem then that's the products the per all right because I like to do is just move it you know the decimal just went over but we've been so dependent on it so digital dementia is saying we're so dependent on technology now we're not using this technology anymore like how many phone how many phone numbers did you know growing up that's the amazing question I was they coming I don't know my wife and children's phone the right right now and I can tell you I know my best friend's parents phone number from when I was 7 years old and I don't and I'm not suggesting people hunker memorize 500 phone numbers right but we've lost the ability to remember one because entrepreneurs you want your freedom yeah right you know you you set your life for freedom but if you can't get yourself to do the things you're right and you don't have free it's the rub right exactly and you know and that's the thing that's the paradox if you just do the easy things in life you procrastinate you put things off right the life is hard mmm but if you do the hard things in life your life becomes easy so and that's and because you're building those muscles and what I'm saying suggesting is mental fitness is as important as mental intelligence the ex is exercise exercise and here's the thing physical exercise good for your brain we know this across the board Circle it but ask so people who are more mentally who will work out they're more mentally fit or you'll do better better on focus mental acuity memory tests and they create you know when you exercise you crave brain-derived neurotropic factors which is like BDNF utilizar for the brain okay which promotes a neurogenesis and plasticity or new brain cells new connected people say like when they listen to your show if they're doing on an elliptical something rhythmic or they're going for a walk they retain it better Wow right which is so powerful just in being creative you're going for walks like Steve Jobs all his meetings were wah wah meetings that's right because that's where all the creativity is coming out so movement because we live such a sedentary in the arms that what you mean by learning a state driven - exactly this movement changes your state your physiology affects your psychology and we live in a culture where sitting is the new smoking we've all heard this and we're not moving the primary reason why you have a brain is control your movement people don't realize it number reason you have a brain and as your body moves your brain grooves as your body moves your brain words even the episode I did on morning routine 11 things I do every single morning my routine is basically focused around jump-starting your brain yeah science and momentum do we say one thing whatever we both agree and you know the reasons better than I we're both big don't check your phone Oh window of time just I know we're gonna sidetrack here but this is a busy road worth going down just for 30 seconds tell them what you think about that when they wake up and I know you're you're an advocate for this also that if you want to win the day got to win that first half now today right but the worst thing you could do everybody should you know has their to-do list you should have a not to do this and the top thing that's what successful people do because that's the thing as you become more successful there's this opportunity stress yeah you get more and more invitations to do more and more things so you have to have say no to good so you can say yes to great and what helps is having a not to do list and on top not to lose I would suggest don't touch your phone the first half an hour or an hour a day you're in the last half an hour and hours a day why because when you wake up first thing morning from a brain yes reason you're in this alpha theta state you're extremely suggestible that's when your most creative right and you're creepy you're incredibly suggestible if you pick up your phone you're rewiring your brain for a number of things number one you're training it for distraction every dopamine like every like share comment cat video you give you a dopamine flood and you wonder why you can't focus because you're trained to be distracted number two by the way on my show I had dr. BJ Fogg and he's he runs the influence persuasion lab in Stanford University and one of his students co-created a co-founded Instagram the average person died I've read recently the average person opens up Instagram 100 two times a day so it's addictive you're right and if you're picking up here's the thing I have a technology when you pick it up out of habit like not for purpose but just out of habit technology is a tool you're supposed to use right like you like exactly and when and when it exactly when technology is using you who becomes a tool Wow right so we become the tool yeah and we and here's so number one you don't pick up your phone first thing you trained you to be distracted number two when you're in that pressure estate is what you talked about you change to be reactive trains you to be reactive you know you saw the sudden you get one email one mess voicemail message it means your day and we call had that yeah you know it's just you're fighting fires and you're on the defense how can you build an incredible day with vision and you know leadership if you're just reacting I wanted use a defend I wanted you know defends the wrong word I wanted you to back that up with brain power which is that you're literally training your brain to be a really wiring your brain for distraction and reaction in it and that impressionable alpha suggestible by the way when we're talking about alpha theta state server that's gonna go above for a few people and I just want to stay in there there's different brain states that you're gonna be in it is also true that most people are have a proclivity to wake up in a more worried state as well and part of that is that I think it's the theta state and you're in theta you're in a state where you have the potential to be worrying more deeply than in other brain states that's true correct so here's the thing young therefore a primary state's brain we state that we cycle through beta is when you're most awake and alert we're in beta right now Delta is a slow estate obviously your sleep that's assessing the state right below beta is a state called alpha this is I would describe it as a relaxed state of awareness this is where information where your your conscious mind metaphorically is set aside you're just absorbing information this is a great state to learn it yeah and we train people to learn languages faster we put them into an alpha state and you can do it through this visualization you can do it through deep breathing exercises you could do it through baroque classical music there's certain classical music's that put you in a relaxed state of awareness and alpha state it actually if you work with a great hypnotherapist would they'll get you to change your beliefs or your an anxiety test anxiety or public speaking xiety but put you in an alpha state through visualization deep breathing right through soft in nature music whatever it is they'll put you in alpha state and then they'll give you new things say to yourself that your will readily accept cut your conscious mind sside which is really the critic thus culture below that is a state of theta between alpha and Delta Zeta theta so this state what you're talking about worried absolutely because this is the state of creativity yes right you know we put you into a theta state showers okay have you ever noticed when you're taking a shower you give up with all these great ideas that's always when you can't write something down yes memorize it yes I actually took six showers this morning just to prepare stream they created so the water washing over puts you into that really relaxed day where you become extremely creative I was I was working with Will Smith and again I'm saying these names nothing just named Rob but because they become memory reminders and triggers sure because if I just talk about Bill Smith you'll forget the story but if I say Welshman xed time you see you know the word his movie or a rope trigger that so we were in Toronto and he was filming from 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. and I was like how do you do this like 2 a.m. in the morning you're just waiting waiting waiting and then director says ok let's do it how do you how do you get prepared how do you get ready here's like Jim I have to get ready I stay ready you know I was like wow because you do the work I I believe in like you that ultimately the life you live are the lessons you teach the oh and max out it stands for observation a lot of people say I have a horrible memory and it's there they blame their retention it's not your retention it's your attention you know I got to the story I tell is um come on out the second time I got to I got just meet President Bill Clinton and regardless of people's political ideology everyone would agree he's get a lot of charisma his great connector a great communicators but people don't know he's got an incredible memory an incredible memory the first time I met him was very very brief but the second time he remember my name and I was like ok he was fed that by security and then he humor our last conversation I was like nobody was there he definitely remembers this and I was like you know you know I'm in the memory guy how do you do this what memory technique you're using because I believe genius leaves clues and he tells me this story is about his grandfather in Arkansas in the living room the grandkids all these stories but he would do something different afterwards he would quiz every single one of them to see if they're really paying attention and I was like wow that's interesting when I went deep in that rabbit hole and I had noticed when he was explaining this to me we're at a fundraiser it's 2,000 people and I was sitting right next to him at dinner and it was like me Forest Whitaker when they had a new award Richard Branson Ashton Kutcher good day Ashton Kutcher's twin brother I put some hazing about crazy but I was like this when he's talking to me he's like there's a lot more important people in that room certainly at that table but he I feel like I'm the only one head and this is a quality that you have like I can feel this because I believe like you know you go to events here we're talking about remember names and they're looking over your shoulder and then who else is important yes you know and everyone feels especially women they feel like when your attention goes somewhere else do they know what right away or if it's not being distracted outside you know they're not paying attention just because what are they doing they're not listening they're waiting for their turn to speak or they're thinking how they're gonna respond yes right another another habit of Highly Effective People seek first to understand then to be understood most people they want to be understood and they're thinking about how that and they're not so power they're not interested they're just trying to be interesting they most oh my gosh they're trying to be interesting they're not interested that's power let's just slow that down a little bit the people whose company I enjoy the most who are some of the most influential people I've ever met have that exact skillset that you just described they're less interested in being interesting and they are more interested in you that is a hundred thousand percent true just like their depressant with you you know I mean like like you are since I walked through this door you're you're there and that's that and that's a trained skill sure listen if you write the word listen on your phone or just in your notes and then scramble the letters it spells another word perfectly it spells the word silent and those people they can't they're not silent they're talking to themselves and distracting and if you're talking to yourself and listening to a new person talk you can't listen to two conversations at once you can't multi testing by the way just as a side note there's a myth to multitasking everybody I just have to address this give it I know yeah because and you know this the science is saying everyone who thinks you're doing to cognitive activities I'm no how about riding a bike and chewing gum I'm talking about two cognitive activities you're not really doing it it's called task switching that when you go from one thing to another which are looting or making more mistakes science has shown this your make more errors and you're wasting time it takes anywhere from five to twenty minutes to regain your focus and your flow what do you do you hydrate because your brains mostly water even two or three percent decrease in water I mean your brain could could reduce your reaction time your thinking ability when you're fully hydrated it boosts like 30 percent reaction time thinking hydrate and then breathe deep breathing or I get those six deep breaths in and actually to create neurogenesis in or plasticity you literally just get smarter you need two things novelty and nutrition just like you want to build your body you give it a novelty you work it out good you know and then you give it nutrition you feed it and then you rest because the rest is really important because that's where you consolidate short to long-term memory so the oh is observation the you I would go to use I'm doing this on the spot because I know these are the principles but I would say remember name use the name in the conversation right so you somebody somebody who introduces themselves and you get it and you say and you use it because you want to make sure you heard it right you don't have a conversation with with Edie and say goodbye Ted right you can see some people you're at a wedding or an event it's allowed you get distracted it's better to be each correct in the beginning and then I'm not saying I'm not gonna say use it a million times and you're beautiful homemade what you want to talk about and that's abuse but use it three or four times in the conversation now in the context of non remembering names use it because anything you learn if you want to learn it better right if you want to max out with your ability to apply then you want to always think about how do I use this okay when you're reading something how can I use this when you're listening to podcasts how can I use this instantly right so even people listening this could be thinking okay I had this event tonight or add this event tomorrow which it what am i how am I going to use this great soon I'm gonna use it and then finally the T in max out I would say teach yeah you know intention in ten ten matters and what I would suggest everybody do and I would challenge everyone who's listening to do this because what challenge comes the change that you need right I would challenge everybody who's listening if you're really serious to use this and not just you know that was entertaining show I would say think about somebody you wish was listening to us right now and let's say you had to teach them tomorrow or teach them or give a TED presentation on Monday about the things if you were to learn with the intention of teaching would you focus better would you take better notes would you ask better questions on social media right you would own that information and so when you teach something my gosh you get to learn it twice it's when you teach something you get to learn it twice you know when we grew up and we heard that phrase those who can't do teach you can't do you know business so teach it in business cool you know yes there's a certain truth but then also I always thought it wasn't a negative I was like wow if I can't do it teach it and then I could do it yes you know I could get better at it because when you teach it you own it it becomes you you're not using their words using your words yes you it becomes you know who you are about twenty years ago I got into the space of teaching people and so since that time everything I've listened to related these topics everything I've read every seminar I've attended was at the was with the intention to teach it that's beautiful it's exactly what you just said so I'm Aiman I'm getting a double whammy every single time on all of these today and having you here I'm listening with the intent to teach these things and you and you because it becomes you've and then that's a double benefit double whammy because you why to learn anything number one so you could benefit from it but why I learn it also so people you care about come in a fit to I always believe is you learn to earn to return oh so you learn and then what the learning comes earning and then you could return you could be lip you could pay it forward that's brilliant let me address one thing about IQ because I know I know yeah I know I know I saw your face yes I know I just because I have to I have to as your friend I just want to make sure the standard is said for all of us because we all need that coaching is just I believe there's a myth that IQ is and I don't think it has the value that people give to it the IQ the read to two issues I have with IQ is number one it's saying that when you take this test whether you're six or sixty it's going to be the and it's fixed and I do not believe that what are you proven that this lecture you literally could show anybody how to do better on it because it's just how to learn how to learn things right so I could show people how to game that but the other thing is I don't think IQ is an accurate measure of intelligence because even look when you look at standardized test you know when we grew up we took the SATs right and what was that verbal and mathematical now that test was like everything it's like how are you know to college and get a good job right my son study right now exactly here's the thing that that measures verbal intelligence and mathematical intelligence are important but it's also saying that that's all that's important right and there's this theory out of them out of Harvard called multiple intelligence theory by Howard Gardner saying there are way more intelligences right and so what about visual spatial intelligence people who are great artists architects right are like that the visual spatial graphic designers right is that that's just as important as anything else right so it's what it's saying is you could improve this and yeah there are other intelligence that are equally when you said earlier about there being multiple geniuses exactly bronze James geniuses difference about Steve Jobs self geniuses so kinesthetic intelligent right if you're listening to this please fall in love with your own genius your own giftedness your own brilliance because you have it and because it may not be math skills or it may not be having a deep voice where you have a great ability to articulate thoughts you've got all of these other there I think there are thousands if not hundreds of thousands of types of intelligence and genius because we all meet magic people all the time and what makes you interesting and special is that's your magic it's different than somebody else I always do believe there's a method behind the magic and you know my life's work is seeing somebody who too exhibits that and finding out that hey this is also available because we can learn this discuss when we when did you learn interpersonal and whatever school do they teach the right oh is it right certain wasn't born okay here's the question people say about their kids about themselves about their team and says it's like how smart they are they want to know how smart somebody is but that's the wrong question when questions are the answer it's not how smart you are it's how are you smart it's so good it's not how smart your kids are your team is or anybody else it's how are you smart because you're right there are multiple intelligence there are multiple ways you can be a genius that's brilliant I want to share something with you because it just happened this weekend and I just from my folks here too I think one of mine is that I am present with people yeah and I do observe people and so it's really interesting because I think that's one of the things that I love about doing a show and and it was fascinating because I never gave any thought as to where that came from because off I mean your brain brilliance comes from the fact that you had this damaged brain as a child yet it's one of your great gifts and one of the great things you're intelligent at one of your you're you're geniuses and so this weekend somebody had asked me why do you think like on your show or even we were at a dinner you're so present you're listening well do you think that comes from and I didn't know I didn't I thought about it and I said you know I'm not sure but you know it's interesting my dad was my dad's sober 30 years now but when I was a little boy my dad was a drinking problem and I never knew as a little boy which dad was gonna come through the front door at night and so unlike most kids who would run up in hug dad I would observe dad when he came home and when so when Dad walked through the front door I'd look at his physiology I'd look at his eyes his face his lips I'd listen to what his first few words were and I think since I was about a four-year-old little boy I was sort of through that unfortunate circumstance in my family I developed this intelligence of being present and really being with someone in understanding them in connecting with them and seeing where they really were and it's ended up serving me as a 47 year old man with you here today wow isn't that interesting and so many for some of you listening I would just say to you that sometimes some of your great genius could be coming from some of what you would think might be some of the more tragic events in your life or difficult events you know just think about that and the self-talk also you know when I said I had you know an age nine a teacher looked at me said that's the boy with the broken brain for the whole class you know and parents and adults have to be very careful because your external words become a child's internal words because every single time I did bad on a quiz test or not pick for a sports team which was all the time I'll say oh because I had the broken brain that became my internal conversation and I always tell people when they come to me and they say I'm not smart enough I'm not good enough I have a horrible memory I always say if you fight for your limitations you get to keep them or if you fight for your limitations you argue for your limits they're yours right here's the thing your brain is like a super computer and your self-talk as a program it will run so if you tell yourself you're not good at remembering names you will not remember the name of next person you meet because you program your supercomputer not to they say the two most powerful words in English language are also the smallest I am because whatever you put after that complete that sentence with is gonna determine your destination your your destiny I'm so glad you're saying this because this is typically said by like you know I mean to a knight but motivational people are inspiring people now we've got a brain science science telling you this is a fast so your identity is this let's say at a simple level let's say people want to change their behavior they want stop procrastinating yes but their identity is I'm a procrastinator yes that's gonna be a tough one you're they're gonna change a behavior like oh I want to stop smoking but there are identities I am a smoker Wow right so that's gonna be a challenge right so here's thing the reason why I bring these distinctions up is because it takes the the self-loathing or the judgment out of it because you don't have to if you're not good at something you can say like oh you could address the level that that's holding you back finally below the level of behavior this is a big one is the Ammar is a level of environments environment because you could the behaviors you want to stop smoking but the environment is around lots of others because it's not here's the thing the people you spend time with is people you become you notice you teach this because you're mirror neurons always imitating what's around you and that's a thing so I want to sensitize you to because it's often the people that hold us back are the people that love us the most do you know because you know why they're like oh you're going to another event you're listen to another podcast why reading another book spending all that money right and they have good they could have good intention here right because ultimately people are doing things for you know generally I believe for good reasons but they could be sincere but they could be sensitively wrong sincerely wrong and I love the I'm not this right I also want to just repeat things that just we just your sake brilliant things that one or the other and so this idea that as a parent your external dialog becomes your child's internal dialogue is just riveting I mean it's riveting and it's also true I think of leaders and companies do your external dialogue about your company or about if that individual can become their internal dialogue so what you're saying matters so deeply there there are six primary questions we learned in school five W's and one age right now watch this the identity level answers the question of who mmm the beliefs and values answers a question of why the capability is answered the question of how you do it the behavior is the what and the environment answers a question of when and where it is fully aligned and so I feel like we have natural genius and inside of us and if we when this is aligned with this when people talk about their mind and their body and the values of the habits when they're all aligned things happen naturally and they're not having forced and my goal for everybody is watching and listening to this is that they're smarter than they think it's just we weren't taught how to do these things and when you're in congruence and an alignment things happen your natural superpowers if you will yes come out come out organically and are not forced boy that's man brother that's okay I'm processing all of this with you they'll be mad at me if I don't ask you a practical question absolutely so can you give them I'm gonna get a couple more things but thank you for taking the extra time they'll they'll be I'll get I'll get DMS and emails if I don't ask you tactically ask him aced a specific tactic to remember a name yeah so I have Mac style perfect do you do an association when you remember something I do I do um really fast I would say be suave be suave I'm getting really quick be is bleed right leave you can believe you can you're right so stop the negative self-talk okay right so that that's obvious the second thing is e is exercise we already talked about power of exercise practice because the bad news is it takes practice to learn someone's name the good news and not as much as you think good like I'm really good at names but after practicing for a couple months it's just become second nature right just like parking a car or learning type you do without thinking the swab is this S stands for say the name when tactically when you meet somebody you say their name talk to them right because you make sure you're observe it correctly the you is you use the name use it three or four times to talk about that the a is you ask about a name this is really great ad when you meet somebody whose name you haven't heard before you meet not someone named I've saw or ridiger what can you ask about a person's name you already said this you ready said it's not travel entrepreneurship what's everyone's favourite subject it's themselves so what can you ask about a person's name how do you spell it where is it from you know what does it mean I was doing this training at the country's largest life insurance company hundred people in the room the trained directors name was Nandita I was like in from the whole group I was like that's a beautiful name how do you spell it where's it from what does it mean she paused I was like Nikita what does it mean she looked at our co-workers it says she said it means graceful following waters and I was like wow and then her co-workers gave that kind of reaction like a novelty I was like wait a sec how he worked here she was like you know X amount of years with these people he had a lot of them good friends are at my wedding I was like out of a hundred does it raise your hand if you knew that's what her name meant I'd have a hundred people how many people raise her hand zero was zero and talk about like caring that became like a 10-year client right because that's the power of a name emotion right so ask about person's name and then V and B suave stands for visualize and here's a real tactical thing we tend to be better with faces and names right aren't you you you are you meet a lot of people shirts right people come in and you meet somebody you know you say to them I remember your face but I forgot your name you never go to someone say the opposite you never go to someone I remember your name but I forgot your face make any sense but here's the reason why from neurological senior visual cortex is a lot larger than other parts of your brain so you tend remember what you see now if you tend to remember which there's Chinese proverb that goes what I hear I forget what I see I remember what I do I understand what I hear I forget her the name I forgot the name what I see I remember I saw the face I'll remember the face what I do going back to practice and exercise I understand so if you tend remember what you see try seeing what you remember so quick visual aid is this play Pictionary a person's name for example is Mark take a split second and put a check mark on their forehead and you're like Jim that's so childish who are the fastest learners on the planet children children yes how fast can they learn a musical instrument how fast can they learn another language right they're sponges and part of the how they remember names cuz they make fun of people like they go to somebody you're like you know they go to someone named Jason and Jason the basin right and all sudden like Jason's in therapy for years that's how you learn banana fanna fo fanna you know zoom through imagery right they make fun and so that remember more emotion - yes information you forget information combined with emotions so person's name is Mary imagine meet someone they marry handshake break imagine she's getting married or she's carrying two Lambs under her arms and here's the thing it overcomes in business what I call the six second rule six somebody tells you something important in a conversation or their name you have six seconds to do something with it otherwise what happens is it's gone out of your working memory short-term memory it's a lot dogs so this helps you to focus uniquely on both the person and also the names over a person's name so for examples is let's say Carol imagine they're singing Christmas carols yes write a person's name is is Mike imagine them jumping on the tables singing on a microphone first split second and then when you say goodbye to them 20 minutes later like all that guy was sitting on the karaoke on the microphone what's the name Mike right because it glues it and then by the way it's a short term because once you know the person's name is Ed or Athene or Mike or whatever what will happen is maybe everybody as I said you know when once you do that then the pictures disappear because you would know it you just need something to glue it because it's three parts to your memory you encode the information you store the information then you retrieve the information but most people can retrieve it because they're not encoding in a way that makes it memorable homework so you make it visual you make it fun and interesting so if person name is John you can imagine whatever right and then finally I thought ven suave stands for end okay you always end the conversation using their name saying to by username because if you could walk into a room of strangers and leave saying goodbye to 20 strangers by name who are they all gonna remember you there that's a standout skill because it's not just what you know guess yes you can learn faster it's not only who you know but it's also who knows you who knows you who's gonna remember you that skill that is awesome awesome and the six second rule if you don't use it you lose it so do something within four seconds that is brilliance there are a few obstacles effective reading so let's go through them really quickly number one what keeps me from being slow is lack of education you're not born with the ability to read nobody is and so we learned it through class and through a training right but when's the last time you took a class called a reading how old are you six six or seven years old right exactly so we are still every single person watches for the most part we're still reading like we're a six or seven year old man because that's the last time we had training in that one area mmm right the difficulty demand has increased tremendously but we're still reading like a six-year-old so that's number one get the proper education lack of education number two lack of focus we could all relate to this you read a page in a book you gots it yet just forget what you just read because your attention is everywhere your mind wanders you're thinking about the dry cleaning the clients everything the kids so here's the thing um you just mentioned that if you read faster you feel like you wouldn't retain as much and understand it no it's not true it's not it's it's not because we weren't taught differently right and so what I would say is the fastest so I think it's a it's a myth being spread around by slow readers that if you read faster you want to understand as much because it's a lie and this is interesting because we have online Academy right I'm a speed reading and we have students in over 180 countries so we have a lot of data and we found the fastest readers actually have the best comprehension because they are the best focus okay so here's it as a metaphor your brain is this incredible supercomputer but when you read you feed this supercomputer one word at a time metaphorically you're starving your mind okay right and even when if we were to talk like that through this commerce it would be like eight days to running right began what would happen to people very quickly if they were talking that slow their mind would wander they would fall asleep they would think about other things they would just they do and isn't that aren't those the same exact things that happen when you read yes your mind wanders you fall asleep you start thinking about other things because if you don't give your brain the stimulus and needs it'll seek entertainment elsewhere in the form of distraction erotically third obstacle this is the big one subvocalization yeah okay this is the big one by far we're talking about your inner voice subvocalization means you ever notice when you're reading something you hear that inner voice inside your head reading along with you hear that hopefully to your own voice it sounds like somebody else's voice the reading why keeps you reading slow reason why is because if you have to say all the words to understand them you can only read as fast as you could speak and that that this this is mind-blowing to me subvocalization vocal speech sub like a submarine inner speech if you're saying the words to understand what you're reading you're doing and not right because New York City you to say the word New York City or computer to understand what those just like when you're driving you see a stop sign you don't say to yourself stop 95% of the words do you understand what that stop sign means though yes 95% of words are words you've seen before you don't have to pronounce the words you know leaders are readers right you read a lot 20 Robbins read a lot you know like Oprah reads a lot Bill Gates reads a lot like John F Kennedy you know leaders are readers he was a very fast reader he was said to have read every morning six newspapers with one cup of coffee most people it's the opposite it takes like six pecks of coffee you look to get through like a newspaper right and that's the challenge but he's you know he's let's say you know he said the read 800 1000 words a minute but if he could talk at the hour talking to you about 200 250 wait a minute there are like 700 words per minute he's not pronouncing right you don't have to pronounce words you've seen before but that's how we were taught as a kid like a lot of what accelerated learning is just like success is unlearning you know it habits when you're a kid you had to say the words out loud because the teacher you need to know you're pronouncing the words phonetically correctly but later on remember this your teacher said read quietly to yourself read silently to yourself and that's when used to that external voice and you put it internal there has been there ever since here's the here's a point when we listen to podcasts or audiobooks how many people like to listen to it at 1.5 or 2x or 3x and they can understand it - yes you can't talk that fast though thing right and so that's why subvocalization is saying basically if your sub focalized and your reading speed is limited to your talking's being not you're thinking speed you could understand so much more so much faster but you can't talk that fast it's a bad habit we picked up as a kid so we did a whole podcast on how to reduce subvocalization right and or our programs like over twenty one thirty days we teach people methodically how to do it cuz there's different tip than unsure fourth obstacle I would say and then we code a solution regression it's a very bad habit we picked up as a kid regression is back skipping he ever noticed you read something you go back and reread words or you reread a whole line by accident yes you know upwards of twenty twenty five percent if time can be spent rereading words so how do you know now I'm gonna give me just one tips on how to overcome this which may can be different this tips can help you read twenty five to fifty percent faster with better focus now that's a huge return because like to infants like like on average our online program three hundred percent increase I know right now people are like okay how do I get more information from this person and so I want to make sure they know where to go find you the first one is you've reference this podcast that you have and I'm a subscriber there's just stuff every single time you're on there that is valuable and I like that oftentimes it's not even very long oftentimes it's just digestible stuff so how do they find your podcast so on anyone's podcast app search my name Jim Kay wi k and that is his real name but don't change it to do my father's many of my grandfather's name is my life was pretty much planned out so go get your podcast and the mic out or they go decoding the best way is actually go to quick brain calm kWh a brain calm well there are actually videos on speed reading remember names I take a live audience up there and they do that and then links to all my leads to podcast so there so for podcasts and in your website both are also where they can get involved with your programs too if they choose to direct and then also you've got a great Instagram account yeah I mean the podcast episodes also we've done episodes on the top ten brain and brain foods how to change her habits how to change your limiting beliefs everything that has to do cognition we do have some ten or fifteen minutes good so brain acts for busy people in learn faster agent robotics Rose and then I love your Instagram thank you you know and I'll it's it's so wonderful and so I do with the lives and the Q A's that are there and so we like to post things that are just because his Instagram is you you're gonna get addicted to it it's outstanding like yours and I challenge people again ending with us to take a screenshot of this episode you tagged us both on there and then share remember what you teach you have to learn twice you throwing it sure your big aha sore questions and I'll actually I'll repost some like so do I so do I so please do that everybody take a screenshot tag both of us tell us what your biggest takeaway was so in finishing you know people when we're done here they're gonna wish I wish you know I'd ask you so many more things we got so much done today but you're such a you know just a wealth of knowledge is unbelievable I hope people take the pictures even though they're notes I'd be curious about they're gonna be long I can tell you that because we've covered so much today and thank you but I think probably you know one of the things I think most people that are listening this they're trying to change things whether that be a habit or change their life in general and you're an expert at this if someone said they got I always do this they got two minutes with Jim quick yeah they ran into you at your Starbucks and you were as busy as you are you said I'll give you two minutes yeah and they could ask you something I think the vast majority that people would say I want to change something in my life whether that be a habit or the external results in my life I want to create a change what would you say to that person where do they begin what would be a step they could take what would be a thought they would have in order to create change so the obvious thing to say is his lifelong learning commit yourself to lifelong learning but that we preach in the choir because if someone's watching this right now or listen to this yeah you know they are exceptional and I applaud anyone who's who made it tell the way to the end yeah what I would say is self-love is not selfish I feel like the biggest challenge people have in life is this fear that they're not enough I believe that's what holds us back and people talk about themselves in relationships I think we grow a lot in our intimate relationships because they're a mirror to us and I also feel like you have to fall in love again with the person in the mirror who has been through so much but it's still standing you know what I mean yeah and when's the last time you know learning in love I always wish people you know this year and their days we've whole lots of life a lot lots of love lots of laughter and lots of learning but I think they go hand in hand and self-love it's kind of I don't want to say you know people could put it into a hold hands and sing Kumbaya what I'm saying do the things that you would do for yourself because I feel like we're only happy when two things happened this made my my advice number one you need the curiosity to know yourself mmm right because that's self-awareness that's why we meditate that's why we turn all that's why we listen to things it's self reflection we can have an intimate relationship we build businesses because they puts us through tests and shows us who you really are so have the curiosity to know yourself but once you know yourself you need the courage to be yourself you know what I mean yeah that's a different gauge totally different you know and a lot of us you know when when we're looking back again we don't want to have those those regrets and the the expectations of other people and that's that's where I think people could they limit themselves so I would say my advice to somebody right now is to make sure you dedicate time every single day to self-care you know and really spend the time to not only know yourself but give yourself permission to really be yourself because I feel like everyone makes SMART goals right they're specific and they're measurable and you're action-oriented and they're they're they're they're realistic and they're time-bound and I'm all for that I'm setting goals but also make them heart goals remember I talked about the power of the heart yes you know make them each healthy in every area of your life make sure that they're they're healthy and you're the ecology of your life I would also say II make them enduring you know make them enduring so as we go through hard times which invariably will through in business and in life and relationships and health make sure that they they're inspiring enough to be able to get you those hard times the a is make them alluring alluring mean they pull you right they like what they're so attractive they just get you out of it out of bed they're learning the R is relevant meaning you want to make them relevant because a lot of people set goals but are they solving a personal problem for you are they really relevant to your particular values in life and relationships and business and finally the tea I think it's the most important one when you're setting goals make them your truth because so many people are setting goals and the vision that's not really theirs they picked it up from their parents you know their doctors because their parents were doctors or they picked up from the Joneses or something outside you know know your truth and live from live from there man I didn't expect that to be your answer and that was a wonderful beautiful answer I knew it would be incredible but you went down a road there that's very interesting to me I got to tell you today was just so exceeded my expectations and you know my expectations were up here for today so this is one of the few people that have been on the show you guys just so you know that I had to pursue pretty hard not that he didn't want to do it but he's a difficult man to get with and so I'm so grateful that I continued to chase you because I personally got so much out of today's program and so thank you so much Jim for being here today I'm very very grateful to you and I'm really excited about our new friendship this has been I have goose bumps I call truth bumps it's this is something I've always looked forward to and this the timing was really right I applaud you for the cape that you wear because you're not just superhuman everyone knows you're supreme in business and physically and then relations everything that you do but you're also a superhuman oh thank you you know and that that really is that that rich refu like really matters coming from you that's I mean I believe your life our lives are like an egg that if any egg is broken by an outside forest life ends but if it's broken by an inside forest life begins and all great things being on the inside hey everybody listen I know you enjoyed today's program I'm sure you did and if you did I would like you to do that screenshot tag to both of us tell us about what you got out of it also tell us about your biggest takeaways as well and I want to remind you that every single day on Instagram when I make a post I love to do the max out two-minute drill which means that all you got to do is make a comment within the first two minutes when I make a post and you win such wonderful opportunities every day we select the winner it could be a coaching call with one of my guests it could be with me my book Jim's book it could be max outt gear but every day all you gotta do is make a comment and my main feed on Instagram within the first two minutes with a hashtag max out and you're involved in a daily drawing if you missed the first two it's we got another campaign just make a comment every day at the end of the week we look at who commented every single day and we select the winner from there as well and I'd love to interact with you because I bring you some of the most incredible people in the world who are maxing out their lives you learned about today both the science and the art of peak performance and I'm so grateful to Jim today I'm grateful for all of you that subscribe please share this with people that you love and care about and believe in it continue to max out your life god bless you hey guys thanks for sticking around if you'd like more click the videos right here they're exactly what you need to see next and if you're new here hit subscribe and become a part of the max outt community and tell me what you think about the videos in the comments below I read all of them every week and I select winners to get all kinds of prizes gear coaching calls with me make a comment

Channel: Ed Mylett

Views: 571,843

Rating: 4.911202 out of 5

Keywords: ed mylett, jim kwik, jim kwik motivation, jim kwik morning routine, jim kwik speed reading, jim kwik remembering dreams, jim kwik ted talk, negative self talk, jim kwik impact theory, ed mylett motivation, negative self talk ted, negative self talk to positive self talk

Id: 3SkEUsk6Dxc

Length: 61min 3sec (3663 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 28 2019