How your THOUGHTS Create or Destroy Your SELF CONFIDENCE | Ed Mylett

these things you think you believe about yourself that have become really true to you you don't even really believe they were not your original thoughts what happens is your mind tries to prove beliefs true so it finds references so once you think it your mind finds an example of your life where you weren't enough you weren't smart enough you work pretty enough you weren't strong enough a pathway to getting it is doing something great with your life where you keep the promises you make to yourself and acknowledge this self doubt this self thought this negative talk isn't even mine it was given to me when today we're going to talk about how to build unlimited self confidence and the reason that I'm covering this topic today is probably more than any other topic I be getting asked lately about the struggles people are going through with self doubt not believing in themselves negative thoughts about themselves and I believe the solution to self doubt is to build something bigger than that doubt which is to build our self confidence and one thing to know about the fact that you doubt yourself is one I struggle with it as well one of the reasons I've had to go learn to build all these tools for myself is because in my life my baseball career my academic career my business career my speaking career I've been riddled with self-doubt that creeps up all the time in our lives am i enough am I good enough do I deserve this is this something that's part of my destiny should I be doing this and if you're a religious person I believe the adversary if you believe in the adversary I believe the adversary is greatest tool that he could use against you to get you to lose in your life is to get you discouraged and doubting these are two of the most chaotic things that the adversary can do to us or that we do to ourselves in our own minds is to get ourselves doubting to get ourselves discouraged because you can't win when you doubt and you can't win when you're discouraged what I found out though about self doubt is that you don't overcome it you build something bigger than it which means you build your self confidence and the greater and greater your self confidence get it minimizes the impact self doubt house on us now why is that so important it's important because you have to understand one thing about the doubts and the negative thoughts you have about yourself as hard as this is to accept these are not your thoughts you weren't born doubting you weren't born discouraged you weren't born thinking negative things about yourself those were thoughts that were placed in you and given to you by an external source at some time in your life it could even be our parents don't do that be quiet sit down be a good boy be a good girl maybe it was criticism you received as a as a little one that you may not even remember to this day it could have been a school teacher it could have been ridicule at school from other children but when you were young in your formative years these negative thoughts about yourself were planted in you by an external source that's so powerful to understand because these things you think you believe about yourself that have become really true to you you don't even really believe they were not your original thoughts but the power of belief is so incredible in our lives that's so and see it's because when we have a belief about something even if it was given to us by somebody else our mind goes to work on proving to us that this belief is true a belief is almost like this table right here just the top once we get it and what our mind tries to do is it tries to build legs under the table to reinforce that belief so somebody told you you weren't enough or you weren't smart enough or pretty enough or fast enough or strong enough or you don't come from the right place or you're not in the right culture the right race the right religion the right height the right IQ as a young person or you were put down and these beliefs were given to you what happens is your mind tries to prove beliefs true so it finds references so once you think it your mind finds an example of your life where you weren't enough another one where you weren't enough you weren't smart enough you weren't pretty enough you weren't handsome enough you weren't strong enough and it finds these references and it builds like a leg and a multiple legs on her table and pretty soon you can't move it and it's stuck in there is a firm belief that's why we have to guard our beliefs so preciously because our mind goes to work on finding these legs these references which are real experiences in our life to prove to us that that belief is true and so although you may believe it to be true about you these doubts and negative thoughts you have these were not your original thoughts that's a powerful thing to understand because you weren't born this way you born doubt it you were born perfect you were born believing you were to do something great you were born happy you were born believing you were gonna do something special with your life as a baby I promise you you had no negative self-talk you had no negative self-doubt these are external sources so important to know because those thoughts aren't really who you are there's somebody else's thoughts they gave you because of how they felt about themselves and so today we're going to talk about how to build self-confidence and how to eliminate self-doubt so how do we build this self-confidence the process of building self-confidence is actually very easy believe it or not self confidence is self trust self confidence is building a reputation with yourself that you keep your word to you that you keep the promises you make to you when I meet somebody who has a ton of self-confidence I don't look at that if somebody with a big ego there's a difference somebody with self-confidence has a reputation with themselves and I do the things I say I'm going to do that's where self confidence comes from when I meet someone who's not self confident I know this is someone who has consistently made promises to themselves they've not kept they've started a diet and done it for a while but not kept it they've made a commitment in goals to go make a certain amount of money in business and they started down the road but then they didn't deliver on it long term to get up at a certain time of the morning and then they don't do it and so they have a process and a habit in their life more often than not if not keeping the promises they don't make to other people they don't keep the promises I make to themselves and so the cool thing is self confidence is an internal game you do not need external accolades external admiration in order to build self-confidence you don't need any of those external forces it's all done internally you control this and you control this by beginning today to keep the promises you make to yourself and you have to stack the deck in your favor sack the game so you win it's not good enough just to keep the promises you make to yourself you must acknowledge it when you do it to you to give yourself credit to create confidence momentum is what I call it so whether that's setting the deck where you're going to get up a little bit earlier you're gonna make a certain amount of phone calls you this is a certain amount of appointments you're gonna need a certain amount of calories in your fitness you're gonna spend a certain amount of time with your children or your parents and you begin to do these things you say you're going to be say simple things like I'm gonna lay out my clothes the night before I go to bed every night before I go to sleep so when I wake up that decisions made for me and believe it or not the fact that you just do something that simple that you then deliver on begins to build confidence you say I'm gonna stretch in the morning when I get up and you do it all of a sudden I'm not gonna check my phone for 30 minutes all these habits I teach when you just begin to do the things you tell yourself you're going to do you begin to build self-confidence which is this reputation with yourself so ask yourself a question right now what is one thing right now one promise I can make to myself that I'm going to begin to keep starting this minute and begin to do it a Kabhi Gham how often I'm gonna pick up a book and read it but you begin to stack things you commit to do and then you deliver on them and you acknowledge them to yourself you're in the process of building self-confidence why is that so important of all the athletes I coach well my athletes are performing at their peak level they're at their highest self confidence level in fact I love when I watch some of the athletes I coach get interviewed and they kind of do this aw shucks humble routine in their approach game interviews yeah you know just part of the team you know I got a lot I could have done a lot better today but inside I know these people are incredibly self-confident people any of you athletes listening this you know that's the great athletes you know have incredible amounts of self-confidence you have to believe in you when it's a battle when you're a hitter against a pitcher but when you're a quarterback against a defense or you're a defensive in the NHL against their best offensive player or you're a golfer and you have to make a nine-foot putt to win a tournament right you better help self-confidence in fact the separator more often than not at the highest level in sports is not they're a better shooter or a better putter or throw the ball a little bit faster because everybody throws hard in the major leagues nowadays it seems right that separators their self-confidence it's true and being a parent it's true and being a businessperson it's true in every year of our life the separator at the top levels is self-confidence so now you have that first thing that you're going to commit to that you're going to deliver on now what I would ask you to do that now that you've done that is if you really want to build self-confidence can you begin extend that list of five eight and ten things that you are going to begin to do that you commit to you that you're gonna do every single day to begin to stock that self-confidence that's gonna change it now let's go back to the self doubt for a second self-doubt is the inverse of that I don't trust me I don't think I'm good enough these are the thoughts placed from the outside inside your mind the minute you acknowledge that that's not my thought that's someone else's that's not you begin to eliminate I call it like scratching the CD when I begin to have negative self-talk negative thoughts I literally picture and I'm old by the way but I picture an old record player or a DVD and I just scratch it I scratched it that thought gets scratched I'm not good enough I'm not smart enough I'm not good-looking enough I'm not fast enough strong enough I'm not prepared enough I once they enter that's not my thought that's something someone gave me when I was a kid and I scratch it and I literally say to myself scratch it scratch it scratch it and over time it's like it's like a DVD or a CD or a record player over time that thought can't be played again in your recorder when you scratch it enough times so I literally picture scratching and I say scratch it I experience self-doubt I experience negative thoughts and I scratch them I scratch it I scratched them and over time it almost becomes funny it's that thoughts impact on me starts to be minimized over time every time I scratch it I picture scratching it like a DVD or a record or CD and I say it to myself scratch it scratch it scratch it and what it does is it acknowledges the thought it loses its power over me the first time it's still got some impact on me the second time at month Mike but the fourth fifth seventh time all of a sudden that thought just doesn't have the impact on me anymore because I acknowledge it's not mine I've scratched it and over time my mind just doesn't want to play that song anymore doesn't want to play that movie anymore and so that's how I begin to eliminate those thoughts in my mind I build up my self-confidence and I scratch my self-doubt there's also this misconception from people that you are certain things meaning some people have this misconception that I am what I possess in other words I am my possessions and so they link their self-confidence to their possessions and so they're constantly trying to acquire more and more possessions that's where they get their self-confidence from that's how they're defined as a person I am my possessions couldn't be further from the truth it's a hollow way to try to gain self-confidence by possessing things nothing wrong with going for material possessions I have all kinds of them but I don't link my confidence to those possessions nor am i deluded into thinking if I could just possess more things then I'll feel better about myself so this is a mistake there's a flawed thought number one flawed thought I am my possessions second flawed thought I am my accomplishments in other words my self-confidence is only linked to what I accomplished so because I haven't accomplished certain things I know that certain title that certain award that certain recognition I don't believe in myself I'm riddled with self-doubt I'm defined by my accomplishments the difficult thing about that is now all your life you're gonna have to accomplish more and more and more in order to feel self-confident eliminate self-doubt you are not your accomplishments you are not your possessions you are you you are perfect you are beautiful you were born to do something great with your life if you're a person of faith like me you believe God made you in His image and likeness and wants you to do something great with your life not that you are your possessions not that you are your accomplishments and this is the with social media in city as' influence it has in Our Lives feels like I don't feel good about myself I've got this self-doubt the Gateway to me feeling more self-confidence is if I could possess more things or if I could accomplish more things yes having nice things will make you feel better about yourself yes accomplishing things certainly is a reinforcement for self-confidence but it's not the pathway to getting it the pathway to getting it is doing something great with your life where you keep the promises you make to yourself and acknowledge this self doubt this self thought this negative talk isn't even mine it was given to me when it was impossible for me to offend myself as a child and maybe it even happened in adolescence and probably some of those incidences happened for you as an adult and these ones as an adult or like that thing I said earlier oh it's another time I reinforced the table I'm not I'm not smart enough I'm not prepared enough I'm not the right race I'm not the right gender I don't come from the right kind of family I don't have the right education and we find these references as adults to reinforce these self-doubting beliefs we were given by somebody else as a child flawed belief is that you are your possessions you are your accomplishments third flawed belief I am what other people say I am wrong you are not what other people say you are good or bad I see too many people that if someone says something negative about them they believe that's who they are this is the flawed third belief I am my possessions I am my accomplishments and you know what or I am what other people say I am let me be clear with you you are not what other people tell you you are there wasn't true when you were 18 months old five years old or 55 years old you are not what other people say you are so stop letting that dictate your self-confidence or fill you with self-doubt and for the record you are also not the good things people tell you you are all the time don't live for likes don't live for comments on your social media don't do things in your life just to solicit someone saying something great about you it's a cheap shallow hollow way to try to gain self esteem and self confidence it's fleeting its short-term and it's needy in fact the fact that is a necessity for you to get liked to get people to say good things to get comments on your social media or to do so in your presence indicates a lack of self esteem and self confidence because we know self confidence is an internal game where we keep the promises we make to ourselves the fourth type of flawed thinking is I am what I look like in other words if I don't look a certain way like what the magazine says I should or social media says I should if I don't look like these people I shouldn't have self-confidence and that's ridiculous I can tell you straightforwardly you're beautiful as you are especially the ladies listening to this or watching this the world is constantly trying to get you to believe you're not enough you don't look right you should lose this weight you should gain this this should be smaller that should be or whatever it might be they're constantly messaging women you're not enough you're not enough you're not enough you are what you look like and this is true for men as well let me tell you straight forward that you are not what you look like you are your soul you are your spirit you are your gifts you are the contributions you make you are your intentions you are perfect as you are that doesn't mean we don't want to look better doesn't mean we don't want to get into shape but we want to do that to feel better about ourselves not for the accolades from other people who want to do that to feel healthier and stronger and be the ultimate version of ourselves but by no means does that mean you're not perfect as you are by no means does it mean you are defined by what you look like you are not defined by what you look like you are defined by the content of your character the way you treat other people and the difference you make in the world so the four flawed thoughts that I see most right now is I am my possessions no you're not I am my accomplishments no you're not I am what other people tell me I am and say I am good or bad no you are not and forth you are not what you look like these are flawed beliefs that lead right to self-doubt and away from self-confidence so the things we need to do to change our self-confidence is a keep the promises we make to ourself and be very important we must begin to give ourselves credit for those things when we deliver on them I want you to remember this as well there's a power to the way we use the tubize our brain and our body see self-confidence can also be a state a physical state it's very difficult when you're moving your body sitting up straight breathing deeply right you're in that physical strong state of being right right after a workout during a workout and we feel our most confident because our body's at a peak state one way to generate self-confidence is to move your body into a strong state of being move your body literally movement creates confidence do you think about some of the people times of your life whether that be the fun time you may be having with your partner physically intimately or laughter or peak performance running right or your great accomplishments yes there's a commonality of the way our body is moving at that time if you think about the times when you're the least confident usually when you wake up in the morning isn't it's the most down the most fearful the most anxiety where you go to bed at night these are two times most people experience the most amount of self-doubt is right before bed and right when they wake up isn't that interesting one of the reasons is because of how we're moving we're laying down we're hunched over our breathing is shallow there's no physical movement whatsoever this creates a state of self-doubt right before we sleep right when we wake up or if you're just kind of depressed or sick self-doubt starts to kick in doesn't it right if you ever had an injury and you couldn't move like you'd like to that stagnation of the body begins to create self-doubt and strips us of our self-confidence so moving our body is a gateway to self-confidence and then our brain as well we have to take control of our thoughts we have to scratch the negative ones when they come in and replace them with great ones now I don't believe self talk works all the time but I believe saying I am strong I am good I intend I'm a good man my intentions are pure I'm a good person I make a difference in the world I'm kind I'm gentle I'm generous I'm strong I'm faithful beginning to repeat these thoughts to myself and these words do generate self confidence I keep the promises I make to myself I'm a man of my word you begin to talk to yourself and think these thoughts when you combine your brain and your body you scratch the self-doubt you lose those four super beliefs I am my accomplishments I am my possessions I am what other people say I am or I am what I look like these are completely flawed beliefs we scratch those we scratch them we understand the process of stacking self-confidence in our life we know we are the content of our character and lastly give yourself some credit will you please and I'm going to tell you where to give yourself credit and that is in the area of your intentions a lot of my confidence comes to the fact that I keep the promises I make to myself I know my self-doubt or thoughts that were given to me when I couldn't even defend myself as a young little boy I know that I'm not my accomplishments I know I'm not my possessions I know I'm not what I look like and I know I'm not what other people say I am I understand the process of building self-confidence I scratch the negative thoughts of my life but I can tell you this the last place I get my confidence from is my faith and my intentions see I know I ain't tend to do good not enough of you are giving yourself credit for your inherent goodness and I mean this you're special in that regard you're perfect in that regard just ask yourself what are your intentions there's an individual as a man or a woman do you intend to do good in the world do you intend to want to help people do you intend to be a light in people's lives do you intend to make a difference do you want to live a good life where you've helped change the world and change other people's lives you ever just asked yourself that do you because if the answer that is you know I don't spend enough time thinking about how good my intentions are I don't want to hurt people I don't want to do bad things I don't want to take advantage of others I really intend to do good you know what you need to give yourself more credit for the power of your intentions there's a power in life of giving ourself credit just for the intentions we have just ask yourself that there's two types of people in life there's the people who intend to do harm to take advantage of people to cheat to cut corners to cause hurt to others for what they think will be their own game then there's people who want to be a light they want to make a difference they want to help they want to contribute they want to be somebody they want to honor their God they want to make a difference in the world and their intentions are good too often in life people with great intentions don't give themselves credit for how beautiful and wonderful those intentions are and so today just take this inventory of all the things that are wonderful about your intentions and then just take an inventory of your faith as a person of faith I know that I'm favored I know that God wants me to do good in the world I know that I was made in His image and likeness there's a power to that there's a comfort to that there's a confidence that comes from that kind of a swagger see people aren't smirking at me anymore I'm smirking at them see I know I'm not what I look like I know I'm not my possessions I know I'm not my accomplishments I'm not what other people say I am I understand the keys of keeping the promises I make to myself I understand scratching those limiting beliefs I know I intend to do good I don't always do good mistakes all the time I'm not a deity I'm not a God I'm a man but I intend to do good and my guess is so do you start to give yourself a little credit just for your intentions no you're perfect as you are and then the begin to take these massive action steps the final piece of the puzzle is this is that you have to believe you deserve to win and sometimes it's not just that we think we're good but that we've done so much we must be worthy of winning see there's this adage in life good people in life won't take more from the table of life than they think they're worthy of and they deserve see in business sometimes short term we've all seen this something with bad intentions can get ahead short-term but you always reap what you sow karma is always a real thing and eventually the people that take shortcuts that cheat that hurt other people that have ill intent the world the universe God sort of finds a way eventually to get them where they're supposed to be but good people will never take more than they think they're worth which is why the mandatory requirement for good people to win is they believe they deserve it they believe they're worth winning and sometimes it's not just who we are that we need to believe in but what we've done in this sense that sometimes you've got to outwork everybody and you've got to be willing to do the things nobody else is willing to do so you begin to convince yourself man I'm doing all the things everybody else is unwilling to do so I deserve to get the results other people aren't going to get I'm doing the things other people aren't willing to do I'm paying a price that's so much greater than other people that I'm worth it that I deserve to get results they don't deserve to get because I've been willing to do the things they've been unwilling to do so the last piece is often self-confidence can just frankly come from out working everybody and convincing ourselves man I've been doing the things nobody else is willing to do I deserve to get the results nobody else deserves to get and that's a shift than building self-confidence so anyway I hope these tips may have helped you if they have I ask you one thing please spread the word about this audio or video to other people it's the fastest-growing program in the world fastest growing personal development system concepts and strategies on planet earth real detail real content that real people need to hear more of also on social media everyday remember this on Instagram we were on the max out two-minute drill and that means every day in my main feed when I make a post if you make a comment with hashtag max out with it within the first two minutes every single day we pick a daily winner and 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Channel: Ed Mylett

Views: 395,085

Keywords: ed mylett, mylett, motivational speech, ed mylett motivational speech, self confidence, how to gain self confidence, confidence tips, sales tips, how to be more confident, how to get confidence, how to be successful, how to achieve, life coach, motivational video, self confidence meditation, how to boost self confidence, how to achieve goals

Id: hIPL7FPfUUI

Length: 25min 17sec (1517 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 04 2019