- [Mark] All right, Hot Topic. - Yes. - [Mark] Hot topic. Where'd you grow up? Where are you from originally? - [Charmaine] I'm from Atlanta, Georgia. - [Mark] Atlanta? - [Charmaine] Mm-hmm. - [Mark] And tell me about your childhood. Did you have both of your
parents, when you were young? - [Charmaine] I didn't have my father. My father was in prison when I was born and he died shortly, maybe when I was like four years old. - [Mark] I'm sorry. How do you describe your childhood? - It was okay. I mean, now that I'm
older and I look back, I could say that, you know, a lot of stuff that happened to me was kind of my own making . I had a good childhood. - [Mark] But when you say
stuff that happened to you, what do you mean? - I mean, I blame my mother for allowing a lot of men to be around me. Being that my father wasn't there, my mother was a prostitute. - [Mark] Oh really? - And yeah. And I didn't know that,
that's what it was. I just thought she had
a lot of men friends. And so being that, she had a lot of men friends, there were a lot of men around me. And so I was molested when I was younger from the age of four to about 13. - [Mark] Oh my God, I'm sorry. - Yeah, yeah. I didn't know that, that's what it was. And it was kinda, it was okay up until the point where
somebody found out. - [Mark] Did you say anything? - I didn't, but my friend
who spent the night did. I didn't want her to, you know,
because for me it was fine. What was going on was fine because I was getting everything I wanted. I got that from my mom
because my mother used men to get, to take care of us, you know? And so being that, I knew that, I just wanted to keep that under wraps. I didn't want anybody to find out because I knew it would take
away from what we had going on. My mother also suffered
from mental illness and I didn't know that either. She had split personalities and whenever she would drink or use or whatever she did, her mind and her body would separate. She becomes someone else. And my mother sold me to men to get what she wanted - [Mark] Which was crack? - No, I think my mother did heroin. - [Mark] Oh, okay. - And she drank a lot of alcohol and she smoked marijuana, but I didn't know that's what she did. She went in the bathroom a lot of times or made me go in my room. And she had friends over and
I wasn't allowed to come out until it was just a man, you know? And she'd leave the room
and leave me with that man. And certain things would happen, you know? And I thought that it was okay because that's what she
was doing, you know. A lot of times... I slept with my mom. I'm an only child, so I would see certain things. And when I would see these things I would try to perform
them just like she did. - [Mark] Oh, so she would
have sex in the bed with you? - Yeah. No, not with me, but she'd have sex in the other room. - [Mark] Oh, I see. - And being that I was
mama's girl, you know I'd get up and I'd go and look
and see what she was doing. And when she told me to stay in my room I never stayed in my room. You know, I'd always go and look and peek and see what she was doing. - [Mark] Yeah. - And so when these men would approach me, I would just trying to
perform as she did, you know. She never told me what to do, you know. She never said, we never discussed it or anything like that. It was just, when a man came in the room and he did, you know, touched
me the way he touched her. I just did what she did, you know. - [Mark] And this started at what age? - At four. At four, I was sitting
on the steering wheel of a Cadillac and I was being, he was eating me out, basically. - [Mark] Oh, wow. - I was four years old. Or he used to work for
this company that... This guy's worked for this
company called Western Craft, They made cardboard. And in this warehouse,
there was long train tracks and he would... My mom would get drunk and he'd take me and we were supposed to be going shopping and we'd go shopping, but afterwards, we'd go down these long train tracks and he'd have a blanket in his hand. And he would take me
like up on the, you know, freeway off ramp and
there's bushes and brush and all that stuff. And we'd go in the bushes
and he laid the blanket down and he'd eat me out and
tell me to give him head. And I did that up until I was like maybe I would say seven, eight. And then he showed me porno, you know he would buy a what you
called White Port wine and have me drink it with him and watch porno with him and I'd give him head and he'd eat me out. And so I did that for many years and... - [Mark] That's quite a childhood. - Yeah, I mean, basically, like I said, if I didn't know that it was wrong if my mother would have
told me that it was wrong or there was someone there to tell me that these are the things
I'm not supposed to be doing, then I probably would've
told someone sooner. I probably wouldn't have done it, but I didn't know anything
was wrong with it. You know? He wasn't hurting me or anything like that and I was getting what I wanted. - [Mark] And were you upset and crying or is this something that you did? - It's something I did. My mom did it. So, you know, I just felt, like I said, I followed her footsteps,
you know, I did what she did. She wasn't crying. She had money and clothes and
everything else afterwards. So you know, I was infatuated
with Cabbage Patches. I had 21 of them. I wanted everyone that came out, a collection. So I knew what I had to do to get that Cabbage Patch. You know, I knew what I had to do. Or if I wanted to go
to Knott's Berry Farms or if I wanted to treat my friends to go and he paid for it, then I knew what I had to do. - [Mark] You learned your lesson on how to get what you want early. - Yeah. Yeah. - [Mark] There were other guys as well? - Well, there was just this one guy my mom had for many years. When I was probably about five there was this one guy that was on the... I was also very jealous of men touching my mother. I didn't like them to touch her. I didn't want them close to her because I felt like it
takes away from my time with my mom, you know. There was really a lot
of men that came through, so a lot of time was taken away. I didn't get to spend
that much time with my mom and I wanted to. So I was jealous of these
men that would come, especially if they spent the night or something like that. You know, I have to go in my room and I don't get to sleep with my mom. And so there was this one man, I woke up in the middle of night and he was on the sofa. And I didn't like the
fact that he was there. And I knew that once he woke up, what was going to happen. And so I chose to go behind the sofa and set the sofa on
fire, I set him on fire. I had to go seek help
after that for awhile, I had to do some therapy, but yeah, I set him on fire. - [Mark] Wow. - I didn't feel like it. I didn't want to be with him. I didn't want him touching me. I didn't even want him
at our house, you know. I just wanted to be with my mom. So, yeah. And there was some other, as I got older there are other incidents, I wasn't too provocative. I was really timid and shy. I still am a little bit. You would never think that I would be into something like that, you know. I kept everything really quiet. I didn't want anybody to know. And when I didn't want
to perform these acts, I would have a girlfriend or somebody else to spend
the night, you know? And I knew that if it was the wrong person who spent the night and he touched them,
they were going to tell. So I made sure that I just
asked this one girl all the time Crystal, to spend the night with me because I knew she wasn't going to tell. But it came to that point where he decided not to mess with me that night, that he's going to go mess with her. And I begged him not to because I knew that after so many times of doing it and her keeping quiet, she mentioned that she was
going to tell, you know. And she told. And she ran out the door
and I ran out after her. And I knew that it was all
over after that, you know. They sent me to a foster home and they didn't take him to jail. And that kind of was weird, you know. I don't so much remember
talking to anyone, telling anyone what had happened. I just remember going to a foster home and staying there for awhile. And that separated me from my mom. And shortly after I was going to go live with my grandmother, you know. My grandmother knew that
my mom had an illness, but I never told her what happened when I was with my mom, you know. So she never knew, but I think around the age of 16, I began liking boys, really liking boys, not men, but boys they were my age. And I was a little bit more
fast than they were, you know. I'm ready to hump and kiss. You know what I mean? They're like, whoa,
wait a minute, you know. How do you know how to do all these? You know what I mean? But I hadn't had actually had intercourse. I didn't have intercourse until I was 18. At 16, and I believe there was a... my daughter's father was 32. Yeah, he was 32. And he didn't have sex with me he waited until I was 18. But soon as I turned 18, we had sex and I got pregnant. As soon as I had sex, I had a baby. But I was pretty much,
while I was with him, he would have me go out and there was a track called Colorado in Pasadena, matter of fact. And I went on to Colorado Boulevard and he would leave me
with these other girls, these older women. And in order for me to stay with them or be in their room or whatever, I had to make money. So they pretty much showed me how to prostitute myself on the streets. - [Mark] So, he was your pimp? - Yeah, basically. But I didn't know what a pimp was then. - [Mark] Right. - I thought he was my boyfriend. - [Mark] Yeah. - You know, and I really liked him and I will do anything he asked me to do. And he also used me as a surrogate to have his baby for him and his wife. - [Mark] Oh, yeah? - Yeah. And I didn't know that either. I thought he was in love with me and we're going to get married. He was going to leave his wife and we're going to live
happily ever after. That's not what happened. And so after my first child, after him, he took her out of my arms. After he took her, I couldn't stand life anymore, you know. I was by myself, you know. And I needed to live and make money and I couldn't go back to
my grandmother's house. I had left her, excuse me. And I was a little bit
too grown, you know. She wasn't gonna accept me to coming back. So I had to find my way in the streets. And I met someone named Eddie and he was the most gorgeous guy. I mean, he was so gorgeous. And like I said, I was very timid and easily led and I would do anything, you know, for a guy
that likes me, you know I just wants to be liked,
you know, by someone. So he introduced me to... He let me know that he was a pimp. This is where I found out what a pimp was. So we in Vegas, you know. He always talks about how beautiful I was. I hear lots of men
telling me how pretty I am and I don't see the same
thing everyone sees, you know. Even now, today, I get so many guys tell me you know, oh my God, you're so beautiful. And it kinda makes me, it bothers me when someone tells me that you know. Because that's all I've been known for. That's all, you know what I mean? Men have never told me and the men that have told me that, nothing has, I mean, nothing has stemmed from it. Nothing has become of it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm beautiful and everything, but now what? - [Mark] Have you been in love before? - Huh? - [Mark] Have you been in love before? - I think so. I'm not really sure. I'm not really sure. - [Mark] Your relationships
haven't worked out. - None of them. I mean, no, none of them that worked out. I always end up alone. I have some issues with
men and the word love. Because I haven't had the
experience of being loved. - [Mark] Well, I would think this, the upbringing you had and then the work that you've done kind of paves the way
for that to be the case. - Yeah. Because I'm kind of confused
a little bit, you know. I really don't even, now I don't even want to be loved whatever that may be. I just want someone who cares about me enough not to hurt me. - [Mark] Yeah. How old are you? - Yeah. I'm 32. I just want someone who loves me enough not to hurt me, that's it. You know. And at this point, even
right now, it's just like I still haven't had the experience, that experience. So for them to tell me that I'm beautiful really makes me feel, doesn't make me feel good because that only, you know, you just looking at my outside, you're not looking inside. You know what I mean? And beauty's not gotten
me anywhere, you know. It's not where I wanted to be. Prostitution, that got me the attention that I needed. It got the attention that I needed. You know what I mean? - [Mark] It boosted your self esteem? - Huh? - [Mark] It boosted your self esteem? - Most definitely. Most definitely. Even though I still couldn't really see what everybody else saw, you know, I could act like it, you know. And that would kind of cover
up what I felt about myself because I really felt
like they just used me for my body or because I'm beautiful. It's not really gotten me anywhere. And I don't have a husband. You know what I mean? I don't have a man in my life
that cares enough about me not to hurt me, you know. I'm still paying my bills myself and taking care of myself, but I'm so beautiful, you know? So why can't I have someone loves me? I don't know. Maybe there's something I'm doing wrong. I don't know. - [Mark] When you say loves
you enough to not hurt you, - To not hurt me. - [Mark] Hurt you physically
or just break your heart. - Both. Both. Break my heart. Cares about, you know. Cares about me, you know. Wants to see me smile, wants to make me happy, wants to make me feel good, you know. I deserve that. You know what I mean? And I want someone else to see that, I deserve it. - [Mark] Absolutely. - And someone to give it to me without having them think about giving it to me, just wanting me to have it, you know. I know I feel good when I
make somebody else feel good. And that's another thing, they call me Charbot [Chuckles]. Some of my friends call me Charbot. And they call me Charbot because it's like a robot. And that's because I'm
always trying to please somebody else. I go out of my way, you know, to please someone else. Because really they
think it's a bad thing, but all I want to do is see you smile and knowing that I did
that makes me feel good, because I did that. You know what I mean? I was able to make you happy or, you know give you what you wanted. And that feels good to me, you know? And some people will
take advantage of that. And men have especially
taken advantage of that. - So- - [Mark] So, your career
continued on with other pimps or? - Well, I've only had just
like the real pimp was Eddie, the one that took me to Vegas. Like I said, I thought that I loved him. You know what I mean? I was more attracted to his, way he dressed and his style and how women flock to him. You know what I mean? And knowing that he likes me and I was just that one that
he slept with every night. Like I said, I would do
anything he wanted me to do. And prostitution in Vegas was fun. It was fun because it
was plentiful, you know? And there was so many men
who wanted me and you know and that made him happy because
I was bringing him money. You know what I mean? And as long as I can bring him money, I know I can keep him, you know? - [Mark] Is that what the basis of the prostitute's
attraction to a pimp is, is that you're getting a high caliber man? - Well, I mean, a man that wants you. A man that's willing to keep you. One that is not going to
throw you away, you know? - [Mark] Yeah, but
you're working for them. - Yeah. Well, that's more of a
reason for him to keep you. You know, he may not really be attracted to you the way you're
attracted to him, you know. He may act like it, but he's going to give you what you want and what you need because
you're making money for him. You know, so- - [Mark] But did you recognize at the time that it's not an ideal relationship, that it's somewhat abusive? - Not at all. I didn't think anything was wrong with it. That's the strange part, you know? I really thought that he likes me, he loves me, he wants to be with me. - [Mark] But now years
later, do you see that? - Yeah. Most definitely I see that. - [Mark] Okay. (laughs) - It's a form of abuse. Most definitely I see that. Yeah. That's why I'm not with a pimp today. - [Mark] It's just interesting that there are so many women
that are willing to do this. - I mean, actually, whatever
a man says, do, you know. There's gotta be some connection there, something that he has that you, you know that makes you want to do this. You know what I mean? And like I said, I was on my
own and he took care of me. He took care of all my needs. I didn't have to worry about
having a place to sleep, eat. I had a car, clothes, you know. Only thing I can do is go
out and make him some money. I later realized that
your boyfriend is not going to let you sleep with another man. You know, your man's
not gonna let you sleep with another man. And if he does, he doesn't
really care about you. He's using you, you know. For whatever he use you for. But the attraction was the fame, the lights, having the money and putting on the clothes and going to the casinos
and all that, you know. The men looking at you
and just being that, to this day I'm still like that, you know. I still like to dress up and be pretty and walking, and everybody, you know turn heads in the room, you know. I'm always late, I
don't care what you say. I'm going to be late. I let everyone know this. I try my best to be on time, but I'm going to be late. And really, I like being late because I want to arrive. I want to arrive. I want everyone to look at me when I walk in the room. They're done looking at everybody else, but I'm late, I'm the one coming in last. So, and then when they see me, and everybody's like, wow, you know. I like that attention. - [Mark] Yeah. Where do you work today? - Ah, Figueroa, I work everywhere. - [Mark] Yeah. - Everywhere, wherever,
you know there's money. - [Mark] Are you working as
a renegade or with a pimp? - Renegade. I am by myself. I'm older now and my experience with men have not been that great
because I want more now. I want more. Like I said, I want a house. I want to pay bills. I want... Although I'm a prostitute, I prostitute to take care of me, you know? And I like nice things. I've always had everything
I wanted as a child. So, you know, I still want
to have everything, you know. I like to buy clothes every day. I want something new on every day. I want a new wig every day, you know. I make enough money to do that. Doesn't go in a man's pocket, it goes in mine, you know. I have my phone bill, you know. I don't want to have to
ask a man for nothing because when you do, they want something in return - [Mark] Are you hoping
for a prince charming to come and save the day? - Kind of, yeah. - [Mark] I hear that a lot from the girls. - Yeah. Yeah. And I'm still waiting. Yes. - [Mark] If that was to ever happen, do you think you'd actually
be able to allow it to happen or you think you might sabotage it? - I'm scared of sabotaging it. - [Mark] Yeah. - Because I've had offers. - [Mark] I suspect that would happen. - I most definitely would. I would, because like I said, I don't really believe that there's, because of my experience, I don't believe that there's one that can actually want to be with me
and just me only, you know. I believe that every man cheats because every man I've been with have had a wife or something, relationship and they've
been with me, you know. I haven't had a man that just wants me and wants me only, you know. I even find myself when I did, when I do or when I did
find a man that I liked I'd offered him the threesome just so he can get it over with, you know. To see if he really wants to be with me or just wants somebody else, you know. Or if I'm enough compared to her, because like I said, I never really felt like I was good enough, because every man I've
had has cheated on me. - [Mark] Do you see, now that
you're a little bit older, do you see the flaws in your thinking? - Oh, most definitely (laughs) - [Mark] Because I mean, as an outsider, I'm looking at you like
you're a beautiful woman, you deserve a guy that is faithful to you. - Absolutely. - [Mark] End of story. - Yeah. Yeah. That's it. - [Mark] No games, no extras, you shouldn't have to
give them your money. You shouldn't have to take- - Right. None of that, none of that. - [Mark] ... take a third person- - If he really cares about you, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do see that. - [Mark] I think maybe the childhood and maybe the work you've
done has tainted your or changed your thinking. - Most definitely, yeah. Yeah. It's kinda got me, you know,
a little confused a little bit but like I said, I am waiting to see if someone comes along, there's gotta be someone
somewhere, you know? - [Mark] Absolutely. - That cares about me. I couldn't... You know, then again- - [Mark] You just have to work
on being able to accept it. - Yeah. Know how to... And I kind of push guys away, you know. I kind of pushed them away. - [Mark] Well that's a self sabotage. - Yeah. A guy who wants me to just call him and let him know that
I made it home safely, I can't pull it off. Come see him, spend some time with him, come watch a movie with him. I can't pull it off. To be that close to someone, I'm scared to get caught
up with my feelings with that person because I'm scared that they're going to leave me. And then I'm going to be left
with that hurt and that pain that I have to face every time and it doesn't feel good, you know. That makes me do things
to myself, you know. It makes me hurt me even more, you know. I just want to be good enough, you know. I don't always want to be
a prostitute, you know. I'd like to give that lifestyle up. I'd like to live a normal life. I've got to have some type of normality and I try to include that in to my day, although I do what I do, you know. I try to do some things
outside of being a ho. I try to dress a certain way so I can feel better about myself because it does affect
my self esteem, you know. And when I do meet that someone, I don't want him thinking, Oh you're a ho or you're
a ex ho or, you know, I don't want that, you know. I want a man who sees my value, you know, and someone who motivates me to be better than I am, you know. Being sexy is not good enough. Being beautiful is not good enough. It's never worked for me. Thank you for the
compliment, but no, you know. Please don't love me. Don't love me, don't
even use the word love. That's going to push me away. Just care about me enough and let me see it in your actions. Don't tell me a bunch of stuff about what you're going to do for me and how you're going to make me the... how you're going to change my life. I hear that so much and
nothing stems from it. I'll know when you care
about me, you know. That's all I want, you know. I know that I'm a good person and I know I deserve it. But it's like, what am I doing wrong to where I'm not meeting this man? Or am I not in the right
places at the right time? Do I need to change my environment? What do I do? And then when I meet them, like you said, what am I going to do? How am I going to handle it, you know? I'd probably be a bundle of nerves. I probably wouldn't know how to sit across the table and
talk to him, you know. Have a normal conversation, you know? I probably would be waiting, hurry up when are we getting
to the good part, you know? Or let's hurry up and do this, you know? And I'm cheating myself. - [Mark] Yeah, you are. - You know, I'm cheating myself, so- - [Mark] But what
emotions do you deal with? Like anxiety or depression or anger? - Oh, depression and
anxiety most definitely. Anxiety right now, is one of the things
that I deal with a lot. I panic. - [Mark] Over what? - If he likes me too much or I don't want him to get
too caught up, you know. Or I get nervous, you know, if he really feel something for me or if it feels good, I'm scared of feeling anything, sexual, if it feels good. That scares me. - [Mark] If it feels good, it scares you? - Yeah. To feel good, scares me. Sexually. If I actually liked the
guy I meet or something you know, he's not a bad guy, I like him. I get all nervous and stuff, I can't deal with it. You know what I mean? I don't want him... I don't know. I don't want, like I said I don't want to get caught
in emotions where it hurts. I don't want anything to hurt. So like I said, even if he did if it was real, I wouldn't know. Or I'd push him away because
I don't want to hurt. I've hurt so much. That's all I know, you know? So it's like, hey, he really likes you. Okay, you know. Oh, and, you know. Well can't you see how
much trouble he's gone? I wouldn't, I'd pushed him away. I can't take it. And I panic and it makes me all
nervous and stuff, you know? I don't think it's real. I don't believe in it. I haven't found anyone yet, you know? Someone calls me and concerned
about have I eaten, you know. Do you have any money? Do you need anything? You know what I mean? Are you okay for today? Is there anything I can do for you? No one's ever concerned about me, or what they can do for me to help me if I need anything, you know. I'm always like I said,
I work extra, extra hard to make everybody else happy. To make sure everybody has what they need, so that they don't portray
their stuff on me, you know? Let me take care of you now, so you have what you... what do you need and what, okay. What can I do for you? Okay, let's make it happen. - [Mark] That sounds like,
to me, it sounds like believing in yourself is what's lacking. - That's it. - [Mark] You need to
believe that you deserve somebody that does that. - That's it. - [Mark] Not hope for it. - That's it - That's exactly. I need that motivation. I need to know that, I'm
that, that you say I am or I want to be on the
outside looking inside. - [Mark] I can tell you a thousand times, if that's the case it is the case, but you need to feel it. - Yeah. I want to be on the
outside looking inside, so I can see what everybody else sees. You know what I mean? It's just not good enough, you know? Because if it was so, why am I here? Why am I here? Why can't I, I see many women (laughs) ugly as hell (laughs) Excuse me. You know, they have a good man, they're married. - [Mark] Yeah. - They have the life they want. What's wrong with me? So beauty for me doesn't cover it, doesn't cut it, you know? I know I have a wonderful
personality, you know. I know that I'm intelligent, I've a lot of information
and I'm smart, you know. I've been in school, I got degrees. I've done everything
that I've needed to do, but I'm still a prostitute. - [Mark] But you're not
believing in yourself. That's a common one, I think. - (laughs) Yeah. - [Mark] So are you saving money? - No. I actually have a lot of money coming in, but I just got a big account recently and someone told me, you know, Charmaine, try to put away $20
a day if you can in the bank. I'm going to start doing this next week when I get more money. But, no I haven't been saving any money. I actually even moved in and let someone else to live with me. I don't like living
alone either, by the way. I don't like being alone period. And that subjects you to
a lot of stuff, you know? Because people use me because I have my own house and you know, stuff like that. They come and lay up on me and men tell me they love me, they want to be with me, and it's just because they don't have a place to stay or you know. I have no income other
than prostitution GR and IHSS. Someone takes care of me and gets paid and we split the check. I'm about to get some
money from a settlement and I have some other money coming in, but what I plan to do with this money is to put down on a house because I have children and grandchildren. - [Mark] How many kids you got? - I have four girls. - [Mark] Grandkids, too. - I have two. - [Mark] Oh. - And no one ever left anything for me. No one cared enough about me to leave anything behind for me or worried about what would
happen if I didn't have it, so I don't want that to be the case for my children and grandchildren. And even if it's not much, you know I would like to leave something behind so that they don't have to do what I do and go through what I went
through or going through. - [Mark] Yeah. - So, I don't want to prostitute anymore. I'm just doing it basically to survive. - [Mark] Did you ever enjoy it? - No. - [Mark] Yeah. Did you think any other girls respect- - Yes. That they enjoy? - [Mark] Yeah. - Oh yeah. Most definitely. - [Mark] Yeah? - Most definitely. Yeah. I have one girlfriend and she's the, she's (muted) she's like, ah, yes I do this, I'm owning it, and I'm... and she tells her kids that. How could you ever? I would not want my kids to ever know that I do that or to see that, to think that about me. You know what I mean? Because don't think that it's a good thing and I'm not proud of it at all, but it's my means of survival. - [Mark] Do you respect
the men that pick you up? - No, not really. Now some I have, you know, the ones I guess where they was committed to just seeing me. (laughs) Yeah, but no. - [Mark] So do you think
this helps your self esteem or it hurts it or basically- - It hurts it, most definitely. It hurts it. - [Mark] It hurts it? - It hurts it. Yeah. Yeah. - [Mark] What's the
hardest part of doing this? It gets you down? - Ah, what's the hardest part of doing it. Having to do something
you don't want to do with someone you don't want to do it with - [Mark] It's work, isn't it? - Most definitely. - [Mark] You've had bad experiences? - I have... You know, I've been fortunate. I have not. - [Mark] A lot of girls told me they have. - Yeah. I haven't been thrown out of a car, I haven't been raped, I haven't had none of that
type of stuff happened. But I think that's because just the person that I am, you know, that hasn't happened. But, yeah. - [Mark] What do you think the most misunderstood thing is about
doing this kind of work? - That I like it. - [Mark] Yeah? - That I like it. - [Mark] Yeah, that's interesting. You said that people
drive up and down Figueroa and they think, oh yeah,
these girls are all into it. - Well, I'm good at it, but you know, I don't like it. (laughs) - [Mark] Yeah. - And I like to please a man. I most definitely like to please a man, and I like him to feel good. And, but it's the man that I choose that I want that to happen for. Not just every man. - [Mark] What was the
best time of your life? - I'm trying to think. I don't think I've gotten there yet. - [Mark] (laughs) What was
the worst time of your life? - My kids being taken. - [Mark] You- - My daughter being taken out of my arms. - [Mark] The first time you told me about? - Yeah. - [Mark] Yeah. - And I have to find out
that he really didn't love me and that he was using me so I can have a baby for him and his wife. - [Mark] Yeah. - That. Yeah. - [Mark] That's horrible. - Yeah. - [Mark] Did you raise your other kids? - Yes. I have a set of twins and I have a 21 year old, 22 year old now. But, yeah. - [Mark] Do you think you
were addicted to this? This life? - Not at all. - [Mark] No? - No. Give it up in a minute. - [Mark] Yeah? - Yeah. It's like I'm going home
and I'm going to go, well, I'm going to go Ralph's and I'm going to get 14 bell peppers because I'm going home to make stuffed bell peppers. (laughs) Why 14 when there's only two of us that live in my household? That's so I can feed everyone else. - [Mark] Yeah. - Yeah. I actually like at being
home and like I said my roommate, she's a girl. I like taking care of her, too. You know, I need someone there that I can take care of or someone who I know that's there for me. - [Mark] You have a big
heart for everyone else. - That's the problem. Everyone and the people that know that. - [Mark] You need to
take care of yourself. - Yeah. - I don't know how to do that. I don't, that's the problem. I don't know how to do that. - [Mark] I think it's common though. - Yeah. - [Mark] It's not just you. I see it a lot, especially
in this line of work. - Yeah. - It's like, the reason
these girls get in these relationships with these pimps or the reason they can't get a real man in their life is
they just can't accept it. - Yeah. Yeah. But I'm starting to come around, you know I think I deserve it. - [Mark] You're smart enough. - And that's why I
don't, I'm not accepting a lot of things anymore. Certain things I don't go for anymore because I know the difference from the experience that I've
had previously, you know. And yeah, I need to know
that I deserve it, you know. I start therapy next week, - [Mark] Oh, good for you. - Which is a big thing. - [Mark] Have you had it before? - Nope. - [Mark] Oh, that'd be great for you. - Yeah. I'm starting some therapy and I hope that, that helps
bring about some change because I have a young girl who stays with me and
who's in this line of work and I want her to see something different. I don't know what it is. She's same age as my daughter. And I don't know what it is about her, but I see me in her and I don't want her to have to suffer because it's so much
that comes along with it and she's worth it. But I can see that in her, and why can't I see that in myself? I just have to figure some things out, so I think I need to go to this therapist and do a little bit of therapy. Trying to find out what's going on. - [Mark] Yeah, therapy
would be really great. - [Charmaine] I'm looking forward to it. - [Mark] Yeah. And good luck with that. - [Charmaine] Thanks. - [Mark] All right, Hot Topic. Thank you so much for sharing your story. - [Charmaine] You're more than welcome. - [Mark] And I wish you the best of luck with your therapist. - [Charmaine] Okay, thank you. - [Mark] Thank you very much. - [Charmaine] Bye.
