Pretending To Be A Scav As A PMC in Tarkov

[Applause] [Music] how's it going let me tell you something the world of tarkov has been so violent for so long but this new scav karma system it's all behind us this place is it's a place of cooperation camaraderie now i'm glad to see it you know it's a new beautiful page in the book of tarkov and only a madman would do anything to disturb the sacred bond of scavdom that's where i come in you might have been thinking damn dude i bet you sam's loving the scav karma system because now scavs are working together they're basically like the complete embodiment of what it means to be a rat god you're so [ __ ] naive do you know how much it eats me alive knowing that one of these little scab [ __ ] might have like a you know a labs key card in his inventory or something i can't know i don't have access to it i can't get it ever since this update you see what i've been doing is i've been learning from these scafs i've been living with them breaking bread with them assimilating into their culture all of this just so i could learn their weaknesses [Music] and exploit them i found this amelia over here by this box [Music] it's only a year out of date anyways i know you're probably wondering sam why why are you making this video what's going on here i'm going to teach you guys how to trick scavs into thinking you're a scav as a pmc this is a new level of assholery first things first dude you gotta look the part you know goddamn i've seen this thing where people uh like name their loadout you're seeing that [ __ ] where like aqua has the tan man we seen that the tan man to aqua is like a it's like a [ __ ] brain placebo and honestly it's the most offensive loadout to a scav the tan man embodies everything that a scav can't possess look at the colors a normal scab comes out in they wear bright colors and i think subconsciously scavs have learned to assess to judge other people based on their cup their color scabs are starting to sound like [ __ ] racists the tan man's [ __ ] aggressive he's got this big backpack big profile you know you catch one frame of this guy in your peripheral vision your fighter flight's going out off the [ __ ] charts you want to pass into scav territory unmolested you gotta blend in you gotta wear the gang colors and that's where my loadout comes in it's called the blue boy the blue boy is the antithesis to everything the tan man stands for it's the least offensive loadout there is there's [ __ ] science behind this dude there's no science behind this science or not you ask yourself you know like what colors do scavs usually have on and what colors do pmcs actively avoid wearing blues and reds as a use tech you can get this white raincoat looks [ __ ] fly dude a pair of jeans the cherry on top is the most distracting part and that's the pom-pom it's the chef's kiss of the outfit the pom-pom is the single biggest indicator that you're not a pmc because no [ __ ] pmc would leave the hideout looking like that except for this guy why sam why why would you do this things had just gotten better let me tell you something it comes down to simple economics on one hand you have an airframe helmet a slick armor vest the beastiest gun you can wrap your dick beaters around hundreds of thousands of rubles just to increase your survival rating a little bit and on the other hand you have a pom-pom and a wiggle and with those two things you have something that nobody's ever had in tarkov before relative safety so have fun scavenge fellas [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh god it hurts oh it hurts that's better [Music] you can see [Music] is that too geared am i too geared still no you look like such a doofus nobody would come out like that scav [Music] did the wiggle work didn't is he a friendly i mean it took longer than normal i feel like yeah but he hesitated the ai hesitated there's a guy right next to me he's is he [ __ ] that up got him all right i'm getting up i'm going to come towards you all right we're going all right come we got one other the dream's alive oh wait he's throwing down [ __ ] for us what is it dvd player all right now now say the words what are we saying though just hit f1 never mind you still got work to do nice he's with us nice move he hasn't caught on yet he's he ran away he ran away [Music] oh there's a guy looking down on us [Music] is he a scab no and i don't have a uh hey what was i waiting for i was gonna give you your pump on it was very important that at that moment i give you your phone hey wait [Music] yep it's like putting your hand in the lion's mouth oh you did it right there that was a rat nasty put your hand in the lion's mouth and then you started choking somehow uh brian looks cool as [ __ ] can't see you can't hear what the [ __ ] that's me what are you doing oh my god i am still sorry you scared the [ __ ] out of me you you just walked past us what turned and aimed back at us bro if you don't want to play i said we could play rhys nations or whatever you jumped and thought you did it you aimed straight back at me put a bullet hole right here next to my face and then i saw two guys like oh my god it's scams awkward look at this you know what's funny is that our disguises worked fizzle he thought we were scared now when you go down here brian i want you to do a 360 and then get startled by the fact that you're facing the wrong way silly i couldn't have done a 180 i'm too quick for that in the face again yeah i'd rather i'd rather shoot at you guys dead than think i didn't make a 360. i'm sorry he landed realized he didn't do a 180 looked at bissell saw that bissell saw him only doing 180 right but i was too dizzy from my sweet [ __ ] 360 that i couldn't hit him he landed he landed and he whispers 540 and vizil shakes his head and goes 180 and then he let it rip oh my god who killed me who's this oh wiggling wiggling on the wall on the wall on our left you give him a wiggle i don't know he's right in front of you oh wait that's that's a pmc i'm lagging you gonna shoot him back there you go oh you said you were lagging him i didn't know what the story was here yeah i mean dude okay you sent a lot of weird mixed signals now i know he's a boy he's a pmc he's a pmc i'm not [ __ ] wiggling at a pmc what is this i feel i feel a little weird about that one i know he's a pmc but we're abusing the wiggle yeah we were abusing we're here but once i saw him is that what scavs do that's what scams would do though that's what scabs would do okay just trying to wrap my head around all this guys this guy's [ __ ] new to method acting the lines are already starting to blur you know and it would be funny to take somebody to the exit thinking that we're scavs only to find out we're all just a bunch that would be the dad that you you're like a double agent at that point i'm doing it all right pmc tricking another pmc into thinking and thinking you're just going to do the impossible by being a scav and exiting via scav lands only to have him stand there with you turn to him hit f1 do a voice line it's the only way i can come anymore it's so convoluted and as we're at the scavlans and that's how i masturbate they have to be so [ __ ] confused by the individual that's the only way i can get a wreck now pure confusion more than yeah i was about to say more than anything it's not how did you do it why did you do it you know what it's not the how that bothers me watching it clear with these great efforts could it all just be for a boner look at that insurance return oh yeah dude my insurance return was beautiful nobody takes the pom-poms i don't think i'm gonna have to spend a goddamn dollar today hey watch this was it not him no it's up in the tower oh did you kill him i killed him and he was right on the stairs yeah got him oh you got him that's a shame dude that was a player's gift too i feel bad i feel horrible okay that guy's dead there you go i'm gonna give him a hemostat in case he needs some medical supplies i think he thinks we're one of them it's a good thing i covered myself in scav urine he's looting the other scab i won't shoot him why not i don't know you said it was you said it was bad news to do that i mean now i'm on the other shoulder pick a song you want sam what's going on dude what's wrong you're like you're not a good you're not a good enough shot i can i can shoot him if i wanted but you can't oh i can't dude you don't got what it takes kid wow what a bad shot believe it or not getting clips for this video was a lot [ __ ] more difficult than i thought because the trick isn't getting scavs to think you're a scab that's not the hard part hard part's just surviving until scavs show up we get hunted down by pmcs like every time now this video is also supposed to be a lot more involved there was originally like a weapons section where i was going to show you guys like the best weapons to use where you can put good ammo in them but make them look cheap and everything uh but uh my kid's going in for surgery and stuff and i've just i've just been doing family [ __ ] so this is as good as it gets the the rest of the video is just insane scav footage more than anything but uh i'm doing my best here i'll see you guys in the next one you know what well there's your raider gear oh wait two people are pushing three people are pushing here three three scabs or no no pushing that bunker they're agitated with the uh with the guy in there killing people you're no scav you never be as scared i bet you this boy sleeps in a hideout i can smell it on him that like that that's the tarkov equivalent of being a trust fund kid is having a hideout yeah your dad's a pfc but you act like you're a scav at school yeah you're not one of us you'll never be one of us i bet you got a bitcoin farm i don't i swear i'm just a scam guys i'm a scam i swear i don't know man i feel like this guy's crafting a magnum book back at home shake him down pull it upside down ssds and hot rods fall it out oh he's in there to the left he just healed up you sure you can't drop down is that what you're gonna try to drop down into i gotta see it just [ __ ] attempt it i gotta see it from this angle that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard in my life do it do it yeah how do you feel now no we're like third story i'm gonna open my door okay yeah i'm coming back up i'm gonna open this door and go in and die since that's where i'm at with this health bar please have health item oh here here oh i don't have a health item yeah please have health items pockets have things squash that's not going to do it on it m67 grenade that's not going to cut it why did they throw that out there it solves all wounds oh my god squash going to my couch [Applause] [Music] oh where's brian or where's bizzle i thought i don't see how you do it you'll be you'll be walking with us and anybody can hold up their hand and you're just like all right how many times did you get raped when you were a kid i gotta know how many times did someone lead you off into the alaskan wilderness well they couldn't rape me because they kept losing me [Music] oh my god i just clicked on that guy that scared the [ __ ] out of me that was the luckiest misfire because that was totally a scaffold that could have been really bad that was a locker dog misfire holy crap you like he was right around about to turn the crew okay that only took about one did you just see where he shot oh i'm so sorry what the [ __ ] look how many are there the [ __ ] i was like sketchers yeah where do you want me to put it though yank it all the way down there into the road oh my god okay anyways so when i was a kid i had to light up skechers and i only ever got one just died you're talking about lineup [ __ ] sketchers i only had one pair shot them nice i only had one pair because my mom stopped calling me um because i want to hear the story up and down over and over again and in the elevator and shoot scream at me for [ __ ] cause i wanted to see them light up constantly and there's mirrors in the elevator i'm dead we shut the [ __ ] up brian i don't think it was worth dying over that skechers story wasn't really even that good i just think it was the point is i would bounce around a lot with the sketches and i got in trouble so i never got them again you know like the lights die out eventually wow that was worth seeing this will die over it was yo save that one for the podcast jesus christ that was liquid gold audible gold yeah yeah [ __ ] you know you know how like p people hate peta because they don't actually care about animals they act like they do yeah did you see that news story of in 2017 i'm just gonna turn down the game i don't give a [ __ ] [ __ ] that um in 2017 they peta kidnapped a [ __ ] chihuahua from a nine-year-old girl and euthanized it five hours later so what end uh they say peta's official statement was like pet ownership is a form of involuntary servitude like bondage and uh not sexual bondage yeah yeah yeah i got it and um this nine-year-old was a sick twisted freak impedance it had a ball gag on when they found out in the street and they they euthanized this dog to set it free i mean the did the dog consent dog was like actually i'm pretty cool with this nine year old this meant to be is because otherwise it would be murder right no no no they were setting it free they know what's best for the dogs the dogs don't know well i mean i'm thinking now what i know about dogs and maybe they don't know because they don't even know that bacon strips aren't baking they are pretty stupid and it only took me like two or three [ __ ] begging strips to figure out it's not biggie there's no way that's russian that's not russian what is that what a stupid language god and what [ __ ] it was that ign was asking nikita he's like man how did you make these weird [ __ ] maps look like such [ __ ] holes he just like i i just looked out the window and like where would you base this weird dialect and strange customs on he's like this is just normal yeah the language is called russian it's like wow how did you come up with such a whack-a-doodle shitty language yeah this sounds like absolute garbage what makes it so convincing is just how shitty everything is and how much i hate everything in the game it's like the most like anti-anti-russian journalist of all time it's really remarkable how you design the language to be as grating on the ears as possible it's like it's like if you gave a three-year-old free control over your language if we want to stay in eye sight of each other that's good too it was m and t there's nothing there let's go all the way the end and take a lift two letters for that guy's body m and t bro you know what i'm saying like we missed it like oh hold on he didn't he didn't hear m t you guys heard what i did right if we were at a restaurant with him he'd be cracking us in the ribs right now with his elbow yeah empty bro is that empty hey waiter waiter waiter get in on this come here you want that fat 12 i'm leaving yeah you [ __ ] get over here and laugh at my empty joke well this place got cleaned up it's like this place is empty you know what i'm saying though it's so practical oh guy coming in here he was speaking right away i didn't get any naughty points oh maybe lizzy okay upon further review i lost some scat points [Laughter] you take a left oh that's right it's in that hallway take a left it should be right here yeah you exiting go having it here take the slickers oh fall on the floor oh very cinematic he turned into a [ __ ] candy bar he turned into a [ __ ] candy bar pistol i'll get [Laughter] sam's lost he's been lost for 45 minutes like i'm getting a hungry bissell i'm sorry just give me a nipple i thought it was you he's in there looting another body where is he left or right when you go in there right hand side i saw him shooting at him but my [ __ ] yeah i rushed him and started shooting and he [ __ ] me all right i'm gonna be kind of beefed up when you see me again when you see me again [Music] be harmonized i think for a second one thing in there i guess i guess it's the delay or the lag but you [ __ ] you didn't even jump you just like ran through yeah yeah i'm not jumping how the [ __ ] are you running through like that you just run and you zigzag and look up and your guy will just like materialize over it oh what the [ __ ] and then you don't waste stamina like actually jumping oh cheap what the hell why you why would you keep that gated it's only for these specific barriers what the hell that works what the i just [ __ ] it through it's really easy to do too [Music] man you think you got time to bring groceries in real quick yeah go do it all right they're all over us that was not a good time to go get groceries that was the worst time to go get groceries holy [ __ ] i hope they got like if i could sustain some stuff off like one bag of rice and a satchel of beans where other sides are coming let's go [Music] are they coming i don't know i'm closing all the doors come on i gotta i'm gonna preemptively move down here tell me when it's big enough to get there [Music] can you go through no almost they're coming they're good here we're [ __ ] scams oh [ __ ] we're idiots the lines have blurred finally what is gmc and what is

Channel: General Sam

Views: 1,845,473

Keywords: escape from tarkov, eft, funny, gameplay, tips, rat, chad, how to, general sam, tarkov

Id: uPAUwhN_zHQ

Length: 27min 15sec (1635 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 18 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/KH_Lionheart]

Dude, how many people are going to use the trick to run through the interchange barriers until it gets patched now? That's going to help some Killa farmers for sure.

[u/Snoo-48637]

Somebody mention me in an hour when I’m off work. Thank you!

[u/Tsarofbosnia]

Good ol Sam

[u/cyberbiden]

I do that to do decontamination quest...