People share their most embarrassing stories from the doctors office r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

rajat what's your most embarrassing doctor's office story i'll start during a genital hernia checked when i was 12 i jac y elated on my doctors shoulder when my junk was being touched while cauterizing the hole during my vasectomy my skin smoked more than it should have set off the fire alarm and I ended up with numerous people of numerous career choices in the room with my exposed nutsack when I was newly pregnant with my daughter I was at my Obi's office for a pelvic exam after I stirrup up my Dockers knuckle deep in my bag and says oh you'll be fine if you have a big baby there's plenty of room and here I'm sure she meant that I have a wide pelvic action would have no trouble with a veal delivery but what I heard was oh I see dozens of these every day but you have a huge gaping v my dad was getting his prostate checked out by this pretty good-looking female urologist she had to insert a catheter since my dad was having trouble peeing anyway she removes the catheter once they're done and my dad starts pissing all over the doctors leg she took it like a champ and told him if I don't get peed on at least once a day my husband will suspect I'm ditching work to have an affair or something like that mine's not so much embarrassing as it is awesome I had the mumps during my first year of college and along with that I got orchitis swelling of the testicles caused by the mumps in my left nut which swelled up to the size of a potato it was really painful and heavy so I had to carry it everywhere for a while so I went to the doctors he checked my mumps and then I told him there was another problem I dropped trou lay on the doctor bed thing and he came over to examine he laughed when he seen it cause it was freaking huge and said what seems to be the problem jokingly it was at that moment that I pointed to my regular-sized Bulacan said this one shrank cue 5 minute laughter fit from the doc hi I've got to classic so I had this rancid throat infection as in the back of my throat looked like it had in the Star of Abu CAC it was horrific after a week of being miserable I went to the doctors to get it checked out now I have never had a hot doctor before but the one I got was this lovely mid late 30s blonde very lovely it comes to the point where she has to take a swab of the back of my throat and she says I'm afraid this will make you gag now I remember the thing my housemate had told me that if you squeeze your left thumb in your left hand really tight it removes your gag reflex so I proclaim this to her and to her disbelief Gill want to prove it works lo and behold I don't gag she says wow where did you learn that to which I obviously say Oh a some guy showed me she raised an eyebrow I went bright red and that was it for talking TL DR made a hot doctor think I'm a deep throating champion I'm going to tell a friend's story since I don't have any embarrassing stories of my own cuff about ten years ago I had a very promiscuous friend he would sleep with anything warm but and willing and half the time didn't use any protection one day he started having a burning sensation when he paid more than your average UT he'd had six with a new random a few days ago so he went to the doctor's office to have some tests run two days later the docs office calls him and says that he needs to come in immediately he rushes to the docs office gets sent to an exam room and the doc comes in with a clipboard and a very concerned look on his face well about that burning sensation my friend is nervous and says yeah doc you work at a restaurant friend yep doc you drink a lot of soda friend yep doc something citrusy like sprite or Sunkist friend yep doc the burning sensation when you pee is excess carbonic acid in your system being eliminated cut out the soda and stick to water and you'll be fine in a couple of days friend why do you have to call me down here to tell me that look doc say you've stopped having unprotected sex massive hemorrhoids went into the doctor and he had to stuff my anus back into my anus had to lay on my side for three days a friend of mine mistakenly called her genealogist instead of her dentist to make an appointment and started the call by admitting she was overdue for a cleaning was getting a physical a few years ago so I could play HS football usually the doctor feels around your abdomen and that's that this time the doctor made me strip and made me cough I hadn't fact in a few days with the combination of a stranger's hand on my beans gave me a semi which I tried to cover which led me to accidentally fart on him as I turned around don't looked at me and said you can play and left getting my very first pelvic exam first the doctor was so nervous she dropped the first speculum getting it out of the package hands shaking and everything okay him on the table speculum inside me doctor and nurse hanging out around my lady bits I'm trying to pretend that I'm not here when the doctor goes are you on your period no why dardo in her nervousness she'd been way too rough and made me bleed thanks doc went to the doctor when I was about 8 months pregnant at that point in my pregnancy I was very gassy and if I tried to hold it and it would get painful after a while while I was sitting in the doctor's office I felt like I had to fart I held it in for a while thinking that if I did fart the doctor would be in at any moment 15 minutes past in nothing so I decided to let it go the tiniest little fart ever but it stunk like something crawled up my ass and died 30 seconds later the doctor walked in and asked me what that smell was when I was 21 I noticed a lump in my right breast being a broke college student I ignored it for a while and finally got it looked at while visiting home for winter break I had never been to this doctor before but she conducted what seemed like a normal examination remarking that it was really unusual for someone my age to have a solid feeling lump she apparently wanted some consensus before she sent me for more testing so she called in another doctor frying this guy says hello i'm dr so and so and this is my resident and these are my medical students great so I got to spend the next few minutes felt like an eternity in a tiny examination room laying on a table in only my underpants and socks with five or six can't even remember now other people who old take turns palpating my breasts and going hum-hum mortifying TL DR everybody touched my boobs a couple years back I had to get a physical for work ended up seeing an incredibly hot young nurse practitioner I was 19 at the time she was probably 25 ish as they got time to turn my head and cough so to speak she sat down face level with my waist and I immediately knew that within seconds I was going to have a raging clue so I'm standing there hoping she'll hurry already blushing furiously and she takes this moment to look up currently holding my balls and commence the standard medical practitioners small talk routine are you in school what for you follow the Phillies by the time doctor Kanda was finished she looked back down to be greeted by a tremendous throbbing erection she laughed a little and said oh look he likes me and then moved on with the physical TL DR got physical from hot nurse practitioner popped a titanic boner had said boner acknowledged and allowed myself to hope for one moment I had been transported to porn dimension way hot successful adult females are attracted to 19 year old scumbags this was not the case received blue balls of a lifetime edit trying to not look like a fool burned and pleasure when the doctor who was female had her hand up my V for a while when I would poop I would faint when I told my doctor he responded oh wow that's really embarrassing hold on II I have to tell Barry this I go to the doctor with this cut on my bag she's looking at it like harm how did that happen I couldn't think of a lie so I just came out with it my boyfriend tried to fist me like this and she's like this I was 12 or so and my doctor knew I didn't like needles still don't but oh well so he put a shot that I had to get in his pocket with his pens so I didn't notice in the middle of a sentence he pulls it out and comes at me and I punched him directly in the face and broke his glasses it wasn't intentional per se dude was coming at me with a sharp object it was instinct he ended up grabbing me by the shoulders pinning me down and doing the injection for years afterwards I couldn't face him TL DR punched my doctor in the face when my wife was in the final stages of labor it seemed to be taking forever I slipped out of the birthing suite to get some fresh air and make a couple of phone calls they made me turn my cell off inside a nurse came running out and said to me quick come back it's all happening and they rushed me into a room where I was confronted with a huge hairy [ __ ] from which a beautiful bushy dark haired Mexican baby literally fired out of the birth canal like a rocket I am going WTF when the doctor hands me scissors to cut the umbilical cord well that was fun I thought as I discreetly slipped out and into the next room where my wife was still hours away from producing this one time I was pooping some blood so I went to a clinic the 80 year old hunched over male German doctor had to have a feel around in my business I'm a girl fw iw while this frightening need decrepit gent was up to his knuckles in my ass he loudly started asking me about an al 6 I was shy and 17 at the time I said no no I do not have an Alex and laughs nervously he told me that he couldn't find anything wrong gave me something for the pain etc while I was walking out through the clinic asked all the other patients who were waiting their turn he loudly said you shouldn't laugh about an Alex that way many young women find they enjoy it when you try it though be safe and use lots of lubricant Oh cute hair cute or cute hair cute eye skedaddle my bloody ass out of there right quick not me but when I was in the waiting room of the hospital for a broken toe I saw the somewhat elderly man fifties sixties come up to the nurses desk and cough quietly she waved him off as a sign to tell him to wait a minute and he started to pace nervously he was able to catch a male nurse walking by and tried to discreetly tell him he needed immediate medical attention I was wondering why the guy was so antsy and that's when I noticed it the guy had a mixture of brown and red fluid leaked down the back of his thigh from his shorts the male nurse asked him to speak up and even though he was quiet I heard him mutter I've got the dildo so far up my ass that I can't reach it and I don't want the entire damn Hospital to know about it the male nurse seemed to hesitate a bit and motioned him to wait in an isolated room TL DR older gentleman had a dildo shoved too far up his ass and started leaking on the floor recent story when I was brought up from being under anesthesia after getting my wisdom teeth out and before my transportation back home arrived I recovered enough to unplug my IV and various sensor doodads and wandered into the waiting area asking for a [ __ ] the nurse promptly gathered me back into my room and I recall complaining that someone might have said yes and I deserve the right to know I was having a lump on my balls checked I described said lump to the doctor and he went about trying to locate it himself I was lying down at his stage staring at the ceiling after about a minute of him fumbling he admitted defeat and asked me to find it so I sat up and started to jumble them around in my hands I was hunched over and he wasn't more than a foot away staring intently at my balls when suddenly a gust of wind blew the door wide open just then a nurse walked past the door that was awkward eye contact I had to go to a specialist urologist due to pain in my ding-dong my wife who is awesome accompanied me for support the doc was at a teaching hospital so he asked if a couple of med students could observe the exam I say okay my dignity was already at a new low anyway why not I dropped trow and the doc starts yanking and pulling on mini-me he takes some notes and them directs the two med students to copper feel right way did I happen to look over at my wife who is trying to stifle a smile while watching three dudes essentially whack me off TL DR my insurance paid for the most Awkward hand job in the history of time while my wife watched a couple years ago I started having terrible hemorrhoids which at one point turned into a massive infection as well as per a rectal cellulitis inflammation there was a bunch of pus next to my anus and I went to Kaiser to get it expelled they laid me hands and knees on the operating table and kept me awake while they numbed me and cut me open about halfway through I hear a squirting sound in the doctor moaned a mixture of blood pus and poop was it at the wrong angle by the scalpel and launched itself out like a fountain onto the doctors face it only hits our jaw and cheek areas as well as a neck but it was really dramatic and I didn't know how to react it was already awkward enough now I had to say sorry sorry for a tingle my awesome surgeon one of the crappiest moments of my life by far wasn't embarrassing for me but more awkward hilarious I was sitting in the waiting room of my OBGYN girl parts doctor with about 20 other patients waiting to be seen it's dead quiet and there except for one girl is on her phone probably in her late 20s talking to me I can only assume is a close friend her one-sided conversation went like this Jehiel I'm at the vajayjay doctor right now yes she called it that getting Maya checked out pause I don't know what the hell's wrong that it is ripe smells like mama stuff to catfish down there pause ier there the Rainbows left in my panties for reals green blue and red after and another brief pause of him see I ate I can't talk about him right now girl I be in a waiting room full of people she was white as white candy and totally made me gag on her crassness and stupidity I like my doctor he's a young guy always eager to please but he's not used to an odd sense of humor and he makes the perfect mark me regular checkup years ago yeah so they stopped making Seldane doc well we are prescribing Allegra now so I'll put you on that me excellent doc anything else me nope that's it doc well you look great good cholesterol good blood sugar keep it up me thank goodness I told my wife at all that blood in my pee wasn't anything to worry about doc wait what me power points doc oh my god don't do that offs another time doc your blood pressure is a little high me must be all that marijuana I smoked doc oh no often that will lower oh I get it wait it says here you don't smoke B no but thank God my blood does doctor you're kidding right me completely I am doing this next time me I think I ate something that disagrees with me me ventriloquist voice in my stomach no you didn't B C on New Year's Eve 2001 I woke up with an unbearable pain in the my left side of my abdomen I couldn't move for over an hour I was at home from my sophomore year of college but none of my family was home after about three hours of crying and doubled over in pain and bed I crawled across the house and called my mom at work she took me to the ER where they did various pressure tests and listening and decided it wasn't my appendix so they did some x-rays the only other person in the ER was an old lady that had a cut on her head and she was trying to comfort to me while my face was red and I was holding back tears the doctor came in and looked at the lady and looked at me and whispered I don't know how to tell you this but your colon is full of it actual term I screamed that's it get it out of me and he told me he could give me an enema a suppository or a salty drink I took the drink and chat for eight hours straight I was good enough to go to a party that night but still had the Epson didn't get drunk felt so much better TL DR thought my appendix was rupturing ER doctor told me I was full of it I'm a surgeon and I once removed the guy's prostate when I was supposed to give him an appendectomy I love how he invites us over to go pooping on our doctors floors TL dr. pooped on the floor of my doctor's office now it's your turn uh not my story but a friend in med school he was working in the clinic one day and went in to see a patient who needed a breast exam keep in mind it was the midday tractive patient while preforming the exam there was a nurse chaperone he said hum yes very excellent data I mean normal very normal he was beet red the rest of the day edit changed B to beat unless he was not hit but very embarrassed I had to get a cold Posca pee where they stick a camera up your leg with the male gene Oh his nurse and an intern it hurt like a rich when they did the swab and the bias II ripped a chunk out of me I was so mortified afterwards that when he was done his little talk in the end about cancer and cells and scary it like that I said um thanks for sticking things in my V and burst into tears TL DR i'm alois see i recently had a sore throat and when trying to get a good look at it in the mirror i noticed these large pink spots all over the very back of my tongue I spent a week fretting over it wondering what they were and why they weren't going away until my mom got worried enough about them that she went with me to my doctor upon examining my throat in town he pronounced that what I was seeing were my taste buds I have never seen my doctor who is an incredibly stoic man smiles so wide before my family is never going to let me live it down I had a pay the bills job as an administrator at a private hospital we had an urgent referral comment for a testicular ultrasound and the guy whose testicles needed to be checked was quite a Fame saccharin was performing in a play in town so the shed jewel for booking him and was really tough going so I was skipping through the next 2-3 days of appointment calendars looking for a free ten-minute slot or a before lunch slot that was filled but likely to run short so there'd be time to speed him in and out he was on the phone while I was trying to book him in and I got so self-conscious at the long silence after explaining the normal waiting times and what I was doing that I said well cheery like don't worry we'll squeeze your balls in here somewhere I made sure not to be near the reception desk when he came in had nasal polyps removed when there are a red tongue after the procedure there are several follow-ups to get - stragglers but mostly also to remove giant blood clots that have formed Maya tolerant ologist is busy digging and scraping and scooping and some monster ducking aliens are being dragged out I can see my nostrils expanding like I'm passing a chicken egg size baby out of them then they shall OOP shut again anyway he's grinding and yanking at this one and it won't come loose he rotates it a bit gently places it in a tray and says nothing but leaves the room with a half smile three minutes later he comes back and tells us he had a silent freak out and had to wash up because a giant bloody string of snot carried elasticity from the pool and slapped up against the length of his cheek like a cheap 25 cent eye from the bim's at the front of a Kmart edit said polyps again in first line instead of follow-ups maybe my subconscious mind has an accent and believe it to be a homophone when I was in college I went to the on-campus doctor's office to get a physical apparently the one in my records was outdated I had no idea what I was walking into and it didn't even cross my mind that it was going to be a full pants down examination to make a long story short the doctor was a beautiful 28 year old blonde who was just out of med school or something after she performed all the different checks ups a male nurse entered the room and she commented that he needed to be there for liability purposes it was confused for a brief second until I was told to drop my pants she was on her little wheelie stool thing with her beautiful face our level and inches away from my junk I closed my eyes while she touched my balls and shaft trying my best to imagine she was a wrinkly old dude so I wouldn't embarrass myself unluckily for me she grabbed the base of my shaft for some tests and I let out a loud very audible moan I went red and she acknowledged my moon by giggling it's okay nothing surprises me anymore I just stood there shaking my head now in silence red-faced and accepting my shame TL DR went to get a physical ended up experiencing firsthand the closest thing to the start of a cheesy porno [Music]

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Id: xSqqzUw9Oww

Length: 23min 7sec (1387 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 22 2020