People Reveal The Most Disturbing Historical Facts Which Arent Taught (r/AskReddit | Reddit Stories)

what are some NSFW his three facts that don't get taught in school if you look up Edward Russell in history books or even Wikipedia you learn about his military service including Admiral of the Royal Fleet for some famous battles what they don't teach is that he threw a party so epic it's still being talked about 300 years later in 1694 he threw a party for officers and with six zero zero zero guests coming wanted to make it special so he made the world's largest cocktail drained the garden fountain and used that as a giant punch bowl with hundreds of gallons of liquor over a half ton of sugar thousands of lemons etc he hi bartenders to paddle around in boats scoop it up and serve it to attendees at some point it began to rain so they put a tent up over the fountain to prevent it getting watered down about a week after they started they had drank every last drop the fountain was dry and the party was over powdered wigs were invented to cover up have sores caused by syphilis syphilis also eventually destroys your nose which is why our old Timmy whiting frequently refers to how prominent a person's nose is while expounding on their moral character essentially this guy is super great he doesn't even have syphilis ' Alexander the Great had three hundred and sixty-one concubines official prostitutes for more and he would have one for every day of the year not sure if he used the Egyptian calendar back then but that one had exactly 360 days so one for each day and an extra to swap in and spice things up during the age of sail any time a large ship would come into port the men often wouldn't be allowed surely for a few days so you would see small boats packs with prostitutes heading out to the ship mooring larger ships of the line would have over 500 men aboard so there could definitely be a couple hundred ladies brought aboard behind the captain's back cover and with virtually no privacy aboard II would have spaces in the ship with hundreds of couples going at it at once there were definitely a lot of captains that didn't allow any women aboard so the sailors on those ships would just have to wait until they could go ashore there was a Greek general who was supposed to lead a major expedition to Sicily the night before he left he got wasted and walked around Athens with his other drunk friends and knocked all of the penises off of the statues in Athens this caused him to be arrested he missed the expedition and they lost almost all of them and they sent to Sicily because only he knew the plan well enough to pull it off catherine the great that a parlor room filled with explicit erotic furniture she commissioned personally we are talking bjs carved into chairs a nun table where giant d ck s torrential [ __ ] shots were holding up a marble countertop a woman getting eaten out by a demon on a throne homegirl had taste the first person who was sentenced to the electric chair died horribly someone forgot to wet an essential part of the machine and he ended up with bubbling skin melting eyes and a foaming mouth among other things the amount of electricity was so strong that he began to convulse violently so much so that he weakened straps heat which theoretically that his index finger dug through the palm of his hand the entire room smelled a burning flesh and the stench even permeated some clothes many people who came to see had fainted during the execution but do you know what's even more horrible they heard him wheezing after they turned the electricity off another fun fact about the electric chair an emperor of Abyssinia now Ethiopia had heard about it being used as a method of execution in the West and decided to get one to execute prisoners however Abyssinia didn't have electricity so instead he just used it as a throne and claimed he was so powerful western methods of execution couldn't hurt him the German army was given methamphetamines during their invasion of France Belgium Netherlands in 1940 this was the other part of blitzkrieg that isn't really talked about for the first three days a German army advanced without rest no stopping or sleeping for three days straight if you got tired they just gave you more meth Fedak may have also played a role in why the Panzer divisions refused to stop even after being ordered to several times by High Command they only finally stopped advancing when Hitler personally ordered the halt TLDR an army of messed up Nazis took down the largest army in Europe in a few weeks edit Netflix has a good documentary series on it now Jenny wait was a prostitute and a madam he wasn't a kind and generous soul who was treating the wounded from both sides of the Battle of Gettysburg she was offering her services to both sides when you take the bus tour with recorded audio the storytelling narrating the tour is supposed in old timer reflecting on the battle when you pass the Jennie Wade house still standing he says something like come without the Jennie Wade house Jennie was a friend of mine she was a friend to many common I always liked that subtle nod in the 12th century a philosopher named Peter Abelard challenged the church teaching on a Zulu morality pointing out that no ceremony of man could make an inherently immoral act immoral the act would have to be already generally moral therefore SX before marriage really couldn't be considered a mortal sin he fell in love with the wrong woman and had his nuts cut off this made him angry and sad he then wrote a book one the creator of the vibrator was George Taylor it was originally made as a steam-powered device that was used to cure a disease called hysteria by massaging the pelvic region to empress wootsat yen of China asserted a dominant over male officials by making them kneel before her and pleasure her orally three for a long long time Royal European women gave birth in front of spectators who would pour into the bed chambers to watch the babies arrive for Plymouth Colony of British North America New England convicted and hung a young man committing best eality it was one of the first hangings in the new world the sixteen year-old Thomas Granger was hanged to death for indulging in a burglary with a mare a cow two goats many sheep two carves an ostrich allegedly and a turkey as mentioned in the court report from 1642 his hangman was one John Holmes v Nelson Rockefeller former vice president of USA suffered a heart attack and died while having a sex with his 25 year old assistant he was 70 Napoleon would ask that his wife Josephine not bathe for several days when he knew he would be coming home my man's liked a stinky stinky lady on a lighter note after she died he kept a clipping from her flower garden in a locket on his person until the day he died the point here is you go to both extremes if you really love someone ancient Greece society was all about but SX gets glossed over all referred to in a passing and vague way in fact part of the curriculum at well-off kids from fancy Athenians to tough Spartans was being poked from behind by your teacher tutor child grooming was more or less systemic a necessary step in life for most men not necessarily NSFW but pirates were one of the first people to have a health care plan of sorts if you lost an appendage there was a predetermined pay for everything that was lost or maimed also there was a pretty large number of female pirates for a time when women had little to no value in the workplace they more or less had equal treatment and paid to other pirates the loss of a limb payment is depicted in the Errol Flynn movie captain blood the one-leg pirate receiving the GB gold is played by my grandfather his leg was machine-gunned off on the 11th of november 1918 moved the family to Hollywood and was an extra for many years home azules were not considered victims of the Holocaust and after the war was over they were forced to finish their sentences because homers duality was still illegal in Germany under paragraph 175 meaning they were still at risk of being imprisoned and incinerated not generally talked or learned about in schools in late Imperial China a concubine earmarked for s X by the Emperor later at night would be pampered all day when the night of the deed came the palace servants stripped the girl naked wrapped her in a silk blanket and carried her to the Emperor's bed till unwrap her there this practice wasn't for imperial majesty's kings it was a security measure some time earlier a concubine tried to assassinate an emperor during SX with weapons hidden in her clothing president lyndon b johnson as the name implies was infamous for talking about his penis and boasting how big it was there's a recording of johnson arguing on the phone with pants manufacturers about how they failed to leave enough room for the crotch and actively creating a detailed level picture of his presidential groin when my high school history teacher asked the class what we knew about johnson my answer was not what he was looking for but was what I felt the class needed Plato thought that the baby's inherited everything from their parents and therefore from perfect parents having intercourse at the perfect moment would born perfect babies imagine a equilateral triangle with the parents in two of the corners and the baby in the third he thought that these babies would be the superior race consequently a political utopia would be originated from a genetically topia klamath Roe's weren't banned in warfare because it sucks balls to get lit on fire they were banned because when sprayed into enclosed spaces bunkers caves and tunnel complexes you are essentially gassing everyone inside with carbon monoxide there were caves in the Pacific Theatre of World War two where dozens of Japanese soldiers were killed by a single flamethrower operator many if not most wouldn't even have burns some never even seeing the flames apparently the Americans didn't actually learn how they'd been killing them until after the war if you are interested in the function history of flamethrowers forgotten weapons has a pretty informative video on their mechanics with some history from a flamethrower expert this actually got taught to me at school but I think it still fits at the Battle of Stamford Bridge in 1066 there was allegedly this absolute unit of a Viking that was killing Saxons left right and center using only an axe killing roughly 40 Saxons he was holding the bridge for some time before he was killed and this is still somewhat debated amongst historians by being stabbed in the balls by some Saxons that were floating below the bridge underneath the Viking in 1922 1921 the Bolsheviks had two ideas of women's place in society going one believed in pretty effective equal rights for women and SS or liberation the other asserted that the state should assign every worker a woman at age 18 who would meet his needs both spoke of SX as a basic human need akin to a glass of water much of military history skims over the reality of our pay from invasions apart from the rather short period of gentlemen's war in Europe war was an expedition of our PIN and pillaging after all you had to convince the general public to join and they usually cared a lot less about the leaders intentions than you would think all the way up until the 20th century peasant households would suck on the penis of infant boys as a means to calm them down when they threw a fit somewhat similar food was usually chewed by someone then spit into the mouths of children's who old to breastfeed but unable to eat solids also if your baby was experiencing a cold and had mucus buildup it was common to suck it out of their nose or spitting it out every time you read a city was sacked pillaged taken by force or what have you nor must always means mass rape rampant murder and an orgy of violence in debauchery enslaving a population also pretty much the same thing men would be killed women and children would be abused tied up and sold off to be abused even further until they were discarded human history is swollen with the sufferings of the common people subject to thievery banditry wanton murder and abuse at the point of the sword we're a pretty disgusting species the Egyptians used mice to help stop toothaches the Romans used to use a sponge on a stick to clean their asses the world's youngest mother was 5 years old she went through puberty at away early age and had a highly questionable father in Aztec culture avocados were considered as surly powerful and were restricted from virgins Helen Palmer the wife of famed author Dr Seuss was an excellent writer in her own right though she is perhaps best known for her tragic suicide Seuss had frequent affairs while Palmer was a faithful spouse and truly loved her husband Seuss was absent through much of a turbulent part of her life which was caused by disease including a battle with cancer her suicide note included this passage , dear Ted what has happened to us I don't know I feel myself in a spiral going down down down into a black hole from which there is no escape no brightness and loud in my ears from every side I hear failure failure failure I love you so much I am too old and enmeshed and everything you do and our that I cannot conceive of life without you my going will leave quite a rumor but you can say I was overworked and overwrought your reputation with your friends and fans will not be harmed sometimes think of the fun we had all through the years come Seuss would later say that Palmer's suicide made him feel worthless which he admitted was more than deserved nevertheless he married the very woman that he was having an affair with four popes actually died while having a Sulha intercourse or as a result of hopefully a villa died of a heart attack during and Pope Paul III while being sodomized by an altar boy allegedly two others were supposedly murdered by the cuckolded husband of their lovers Captain Cook was killed shortly after his second landing at Kiel occur after he wore out his welcome he was killed in the crew were forced to leave what history books won't tell you is that parts of his body were ritualistically cannibalized but not his hands or his penis those were sent back to his ship before it sailed away as a message your works and your seed not welcome here the number of times the true anatomy of a clitoris has been discovered rediscovered but deleted from the anatomic books if you think the clitoris is this tiny external part think again it's a very large mostly internal structure but time and again it was deleted from anatomy books throughout the centuries at the Battle of Missionary Ridge in the Chattanooga campaign and the Civil War the Federals forced the Confederates off the ridge in what was thought an impregnable position General Sherman was so pumped they'd actually won that he straddled a captured Confederate cannon and acted like it was his D CK while urging his men forward general would try to do the same thing to the cannon next to it but it was still so red-hot from being fired that he burned his ass so badly he couldn't sit for two weeks this is probably sfw technically but the fact that it is airbrushed out of history so consistently suggests it might be somehow dangerous if too many people knew about it so it gets in on a technicality the famous England versus Germany Christmas sucker in no man's land matches of the First World War want some bit of soft-hearted seasonal sentimentality in fact they were spontaneous and similar Dainius mutinies by both forces using football as an anarchic way of protesting the futility of a war that they had been told would all be over by Christmas , most of the players German and English summarily executed to suppress the uprising and the sake tale of seasonal goodwill unto all men has been plastered over the entire scandal for a century Rasputin from Russia got really into mysticism so he went around the peasant population of Russia regularly having an ax sex orgies with anyone literally anyone even men as a form of cleansing this guy is actually important in the fall of Czarist Russia because he befriended the Zarina and lived at the palace which tarnished the Tsar's image but then got assassinated he did more than just live in the palace when Nicholas was away commanding the war effort or trying to coma Zarina Alexandra was left to run things in his place the problem was she was all but controlled by Rasputin who had enormous influence over her he spent the period sacking and appointing a whole bunch of Ministers and such in the Duma which caused complete chaos you might be taught in school that Jesse Owens won a gold medal at the 1936 Olympics and it showed the world the Nazis were wrong about them being Superman what they don't tell you is that Germany cleaned up at the games and won the most metals Thomas Edison was kind of an [ __ ] he secretly funded a decade-long smear campaign against a competing company Westinghouse who had a more efficient cheaper and more versatile electric power transmission system the opening volley was paying kids to bring his agents trade dogs which were then electrocuted with Westinghouse's systems that proved it was more dangerous in fairness to Edison it technically is when handled improperly the test however was purportedly fraudulent comma similar experiments read public spectacles followed he also arranged for the competition to be used for the electric chair Westinghouse ran high voltage AC which is standard today that's right he lost even better the competition was partly his fault years earlier Nikola Tesla pitched an improved high-voltage AC generator to Edison Edison laughed at him and told him it was a terrible idea however he hired him to fix a problem he was having with his own power system promising him $50.00 K more than a million today too lazy to do the conversion if he delivered which he did Edison then refused to pay him Tesla angered built his AC generator and sold the patent to a competitor who quickly integrated it into their existing system and ran with it yep it was Westinghouse president LBJ would regularly walk around the White House and conduct business with no pants on I cannot find a source for this but I'd hate to think my AP gov teacher lied to me there are stories of LBJ walking around without parents standing behind his female staff tapping them on the shoulder so they'd turn around then BAM a whole buncha ahem Johnson in their face on the lighter side Massa thought poop and buff stuff was hilarious he wrote a song called let Mitch I'm ass he was also a savage prankster he noticed a certain pianist picked her head up on high notes and load it on low notes so he wrote a piece that bounced back and forth to see if he could get her to Bob like a chicken he would write his cousin and the notes consisted of a lot of poop and butt stuff on the darker side when Spartacus was a gladiator slave that caused the rebellion they did really well were once in battle the Romans fled from them and cause the leader at the time to decimate or kill one out of every ten men so they feared him more than Spartacus Crassus and his legions were sent to put down the rebellion that was wrecking every army they fought Crassus was ultimately successful in Spartacus fell in battle he went to retrieve his body but was unable to find it so in turn he took the six thousand remaining soldiers from Spartacus defeated army and crucified every one on the way back to Rome the stretch was over one hundred and fifty miles that means one person was crucified every one hundred feet the entire length of the trip their bodies were left for years to rot away this shouldn't count because I did in fact learn this at school but a king of my country Fernando Villa apparently was close to die without offsprings because he had a huge penis and every wife that he ever had was afraid of having a sex with him because it would be painful and his only daughter Isabelle I I had a lot of love affairs and ended up pregnant a lot of times and in official acts she had to pretend that she wasn't pregnant Sand Creek Massacre John Chivington and his militia ambushed their indigenous sight and killed between 70 and 500 Cheyenne and Arapaho people although most people figure around 140 were actually killed most of them women and children and many of them were scalped body parts were cut off and put on the jewelry the men carried Chivington and his men dressed their weapons and hats with the scalps of women and children and even used fetuses and genitalia as decoration it was so gruesome that the military was appalled and many Americans called for his imprisonment he was indicted but got off with scot-free if you watch Ken Burns documentary on the West it goes into detail about the sheer brutality of John Chivington and how much of a disgusting man he was in the time of the Trojan War men and boys very often had Essel relations a lover and beloved Helen could have easily been a boy just a very pretty one Achilles and Patroclus were lovers which is why Achilles goes berserk over his death and proceeds to defeat Hector and drag his corpse around the battlefield which was considered a big no-no actually Achilles was kind of a big baby all around he basically spent the whole war sulking about not getting his pick of ER pay slaves and then acts the fool man his bum buddy is killed in World War two there was an SS penal Legion Dirlewanger Brigade they were formed from the most violent criminals rapists murders et Cie and lead by an absolute monster sadist they were tasked with the role of gang fighting and given free rein to murder our pay and torture they lost less than 100 men by the time they'd killed their first 15,000 it's assumed that they were mostly civilians and the unit's losses were from infighting they were so bad even SS executioner's complained about their conduct at one point they found a daycare with five hundred kids and proceeded to bash their brains in with their rifle butts to save ammo I also read that the commander raped a kid in front of his men while he cut them open lengthwise [Music]

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Length: 25min 17sec (1517 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 10 2020