What's Your Best Case Of Instant Karma? (r/AskReddit | Reddit Stories)

what's the best case of Instant Karma that you've ever seen my dad told me this story he was driving back from the shore when traffic got really bad about a mile ahead there was an accident that had brought traffic to a crawl he happens my dad decides to be patient about it others weren't so patient people began driving on the shoulder in order to get ahead of the traffic this piece says my dad off we all know how this goes we do the right thing and are punished for it whereas these [ __ ] are skipping in front traffic and we'll probably get away with it he thought about following the stream of cars onto the shoulder but he decided he'd do the right thing and wait as he got closer he saw two cops in a parking lot one cop was directing all of the shoulder drivers into the parking lot while the other wrote all of those drivers tickets he describes it as one of the most satisfying things he's ever seen my dog tried to eat my sushi while I was away from the table for a second I came back to missing wasabi and a disgusted looking dog the first time I ordered sushi I was on a date I thought the wasabi was a vogue our dough paced I stole my dates avocado paste and put generous amounts on all my sushi bites I kept repeating had no idea sushi was so effing spicy dirt my date couldn't figure out what I was talking about if snot ran down my face as the sushi we shared was definitely not the spicy kind I finally admitted that I stole the avocado paste and my date couldn't stop laughing I totally deserve it I used to be a zookeeper this b tch was making fun of our llama for looking ugly the llama was a rescue who had corrective jaw surgery the b tch pointed and laughed at our llama the llama spat in her mouth I gave the llama retreat and told her that she was a good girl I was working in a supermarket when panik's customer a came up to me and said he'd accidentally left his cash in the ATM and had anyone handed it in I was about to say no when custom would be appeared behind him and said he'd been trying to catch up to him he'd been queuing behind him at the ATM and saw what happened so he'd got the money for him it was you 200 so a decent amount customer a was super grateful and offered him some of the money but he wouldn't take it customer B then bought a scratch Curt scratched it and found he'd won you huge five not a whopping amount of karma but Connor nonetheless this is so wholesome I banged my knee on the corner for a hotel bed and my husband was laugh-in his ass off while he was brushing his teeth in the bathroom as soon as he walks out of the bathroom his hit is near the exact same way and I got to laugh my ass off are your asses okay now more importantly are they both back on my boyfriend has a big GMC and one winter it was really snowy and a bunch of cars had gone into the ditch as ya do because he is a nice guy he was spending his day off pulling people out for free at one point while he was helping someone some are soul flew by him wailing on the horn and flipping him off out the window he got done pulling the car out and headed up the road in the direction that jackass had gone a mile up the road they found him standing outside of his car which was now played into a giant freaking tree boyfriend honked his horn waved and kept driving dude just hung his head like a scalded dog truly beautiful driving through Philly and standstill traffic some a shot decides to use the shoulder as a lane to cut in line the vehicle he ended up cutting off was a state trooper an instant whoop-whoop and told to call off the highway over a loudspeaker I couldn't stop laughing [ __ ] kid in middle school kept trying to steal my cell phone it was a cheap flip phone but he'd do it just to pß me off our school had a rule that you couldn't have your phone out in class teacher left the classroom for a second to have a brief word with an administrator jerkies kid grabbed my phone teacher came back in a moment later and caught him red-handed with my phone out she wouldn't believe it wasn't his phone he got detention I worked at a grocery store I was stocking instant noodles on a big sale display all I had was a cheap small step to step stool you know the one with the bar that runs across the top step reaching down to the stool from the shelf I was standing on is about three feet I had a 60% chance my foot would land on the top bar and collapse the thing I asked a co-worker to use his shoulder as a handle that I got down my supervisor called me a princess for getting assistance soon after he was stocking the 2-liter coke bottles on a sales display he tried to get down he took the 40% success rate jump on to the step hit the top bar the stet ladder collapsed he broke his arm and took down half of the display I just clocked out and left before they told me to clean up the spilled soda all over the place not instant but common nonetheless my dad kept getting his lunch stolen at work one day so he got my mother to get the spiciest hot sauce on the market to put on the sandwich lo and behold the guy who stole it was looking red as a hot iron they fired the guy and my dad got to eat his lunch again I'll never understand lunch thieves me neither it's not like you can't afford to eat is it you got a job and my dad was at a lumber mill when this happened which well it paid much much more than a job at some sort of mail room that time I had my shoes stolen I was 17 went to a party whether were kids from two different high schools when I went inside I took off my brand new Nike Air model shoes that I had just bought for 100 $40 hours later when I went to leave my shoes were gone we had an idea of who took them a guy from the other school but didn't have proof I was so sad and so embarrassed I had to drive home in my socks long story short a week later Monika the girl who threw the party shows up on my doorstep holding something behind her back turns out she went to a party and saw the guy who stood in my shoes wearing them when he took them off after a smoke break she snagged them now standing in front of me she reveals my Nikes he told me the best part was watching him look for them just like I had and then leave in his socks jerk house I knew in high school was trying to get a mentally handicapped kid to do stuff for a jackass type video in a very nasty cruel way behind the gym I'm sitting behind your car smoking a joint in the parking lot special kid is not dumb enough to play this game jackass decides to get him to hold the camera people are heckling and calling out suggestions nothing interesting happens then someone comes out with a basketball but sit on the concrete sidewalk then hands jack house an aluminium basketball bat and mimes hitting the basketball like splitting a log with an axe jerk house winds up brings it down and I hear blah wank his head is shooting back blood everywhere from where I was and how much weed I smoked I thought he smashed his skull bat clatters like 20 feet behind him and he goes down backwards the bat bounced bailed him in the eyebrow split it open and knocked him the Frick out he was okay but had a scar and a hell of a black eye for a few weeks and the whole time the mentally handicapped kid he'd been trying to humiliate on camera is filming and laughing so freaking hard he's crying security didn't believe no one hit jackass til he showed them the video I'm in the Nick subway a guy elbows me out of the way to get into the turnstile first yelling vaguely that he has a train to catch no sh t through the turnstile turn the corner and there are a few cops set up near a folding table and he gets pulled to have his bags searched this T is the worst my other pet peeve is when the subway is coming to the next stop and someone in the middle has to loudly declare move out of the way I have to get off uhha chair so does pretty much everyone else on the subway wait your turn used to commute to DC from 40 miles away driving home one evening this dude decides he must merge into my lane now beeping and all he pushes me off the road the car behind me was a cop as soon as I was on the shoulder lights and sirens went on and the dude was pulled over I was nearly hit by a cyclist who was going the wrong way down a one-way street while he was screaming at me for not looking where I was going because I'd only check traffic in the direction it was supposed to go , he cycled into the front of a car going the correct direction I was biking to work once when another cyclist ran a red light and crashed into the side of my bike my bike was a steel-framed monster of a dutch bicycle and his was a lightweight road bike his front wheel tar coat I got a small scratch on my paint riding off while he screamed at me from not paying attention to my surroundings was very satisfying in the UK kids wear Blazers and ties to school and a common bullying tactic that jerks used was to run up to kids pull their tie so they get really tightly knotted on the bus home the bus was really full and I was standing in front of one such bully he grabbed my tie just as the bus had to break sharply he lost his footing in the only thing keeping him upright was the fact that he was holding my tie he had grabbed the wrong bit it wasn't knotted I simply untied it he fell on his bum that was the last time I was knotted in my school everyone had clip-on ties and because if the strict dress rules some bullies would yank them often wouldn't give them back however some people had proper ones usually as a replacements for losing them one of my friends had one in some [ __ ] yanked it really hard causing Sid friends who accidentally headbutt the dude in the face giving him a nosebleed while working for the fire department on a call for multi vehicle rollover accident on the interstate we got on the interstate one exit away running into traffic so we moved over to the emergency lane with lights and siren we were about halfway there and a BMW calls in front of us trying to cut through the traffic he didn't even look I laid into the airhorn and he came to a complete stop with his middle finger out the window I'd had a lot of people do stupid things when seeing lights coming at them but this guy was being an ass for the sake of being an ass he got out of his car and started screaming at us meanwhile he was blocking the only fire engine and two ambulances available people were really hurt half a mile away and he was making his stand because we honked our airhorn at him for blocking us I looked out at my mirror to see a highway patrolman running between lanes towards us he was P said BMW boy was immediately arrested his pretty car got pushed out of the way into a ditch and he went to jail the people in the accident were hurt bad and two cars had to be cut open to get people extricated from bent metal it was frustrating at a job as a mechanic I got a pass that was completely correct except the electrical plug was a different shape I found out after I installed it for the record it did plugin just didn't have long enough prongs to communicate Cobham I had tuned would have the right part again and take this one off and install the right one all while only getting paid to put the correct one on lost about 1/3 hours , my coworker laughed and said bet she won't make that mistake again pay attention next time is very next job he put all four tires on backwards some tyres are directional said the same thing to him I knew I would use it against him didn't know it would be that soon TL DR I made a hard to spot mistake dude made fun of me his very next job he made an easy to spot mistake I made fun of him one time in middle school this guy who was relatively new at our school was making fun of a girl in our class who fell in the hawaiian between classes coincidentally this was a girl I had a crush on he was a little bit of a class clown and was mocking her making her look stupid and clumsy apparently he misjudged his footing and while attempting to jokingly ape the way she had fallen actually fell for real and landed squarely on his back in front of everybody he broke his arm in the process passing him by in the hallway I saw him just lying there surrounded by adults and staring up at the ceiling face completely expressionless he didn't come back to school pretty sure he moved after that I would have to I was driving into a construction zone where three lanes converge to one right at the point it became one lane a car tried to pass me on my right I slowed down so he wouldn't hit me but he ran over one of those metal lane dividers it got caught up in his back right wheel well and went around a few times I could see and hear it make a mess of his fender last I saw he was pulling over to inspect the damage I've got to can't really decide on which one is best one driving to work during a snowstorm pretty much everyone is taking it easy because snow some guy in an Infiniti fx35 thinks that he's invincible so he comes driving down the road probably 15 miles an hour faster than everyone else so he goes past me and I don't see him again until the fork in the road Mr superhero went into the turn too fast and slammed into an iron fence at the triangle dividing the two streets he was fine because he was outside of his car looking at it with a look of confusion - was driving home one night around 10:00 p.m. I'm stopped at a red light in front of a shopping mall about midway down the block the east and westbound road is separated by a pedestrian island someone pulls up next to me at the light looks around and drives through the red light suddenly from the opposite side of the street red and blue lights a whoop-whoop of a siren and him NYPD SUV hops the island and pulls the guy over the police weren't camped out or anything just waiting at the red light on their side of the street right place at the right time saw the guy in a gorgeous sports car Ferrari I think honking and yelling at a pedestrian in the crosswalk pedestrian had the right of way and was crossing during the signal immediately after they passed the guy guns it and darts around the corner and rear-ends a cop who was in the middle of writing a ticket there was a truck parked on the street that was just enough to obstruct Ferrari guys line of sight through the turn it was glorious I didn't even see it happen I just heard the crunch right after he turned the corner I was walking down a busy street and a guy shoulder barge me as he walked past unbeknown to him I had a lit cigarette in my hand and it burned him pretty bad I was about ten foot away when I heard him scream out but there was too many people and I never saw him again reminds me of this lady who purposely swerved to try and hit my broken elbow which was in a sling as she walked past I had to practically jump onto the street to avoid her wish I had a few less exact day not a case of bad karma luckily my friend and I were walking out of Walmart when a homeless man asked me for money for food I didn't have a carry cash on me so I say I'm sorry I don't have any and to walk away however I had worked earlier that day and still had an open snacks in my car so I walked back up to him and say I don't have any money but I do have some snacks and water in my car that I can give you his face lit up so I walked to my car and grabbed the snacks and walked back I hand him the bag it had a granola bar two bags of chips some crackers and two water bottles he thanks me about 20 X and I tell him to have a good day so I go to my friend's house and we're just hanging out and I'm scrolling through a city wide selling page on Facebook I had just bought a new king sized bed and didn't have a bed set for it I came across this beautiful solid wood frame with built-in drawers that was in perfect condition the seller had it listed for $100 he was selling it because it didn't fit in her new house so I have my husband and some friends gets a truck and we go to get it that same day I gave the lady the $100 and she mentioned that I meant to post it for $1 zero zero zero but mistyped since we already agreed on the price before I realized it you can have it for the $100 and that's how I gave a homeless man food and good karma greeted me with a practically new bed set for $100 I was driving home on the highway during a horrible blizzard at night the roads were extremely slick and dangerous I was going about 30 miles per hour my daughter was a newborn and it was the first time I had ever driven in the snow with her I was nervous some jerk and a huge truck is doing 65 passing everyone and the slow lane and just being really risky and ignorance of the conditions and other drivers in general he passed me and I was like you're gonna crash bro right at that moment the dude fishtails loses control and crashes into a ditch don't worry I'm not a sadist he was completely fine I know this because I saw him emerge from the truck and do a little angry freakout dance his truck wasn't fine that's what you get for endangering others during a blizzard waiting to turn left at a red light arrow turns green and I start to turn a huge lifted pickup truck comes around me from the right and cuts in front of me to make a turn scared the crap out of me more than anything else because this was a big truck weed small penis and he was going fast couldn't have been more than one minute down the road and I see he's been pulled over hark who would have thought a guy in a charger was weaving through traffic and passing of high speed in a work zone on the interstate and I said to the other person in the car it should be nice to see one of those [ __ ] get busted just once a minute later a state trooper swings out from the tree line on an access road and pulls the guy over double fines for speeding in a work zone by-the-by at the end of the day in locker room after gym class this freshman kid who was really popular and always talked a lot of sh t started messing with this guy who was kind of awkward and kind of got picked on a lot apparently they got in each other's way in flag football or something awkward guy ignores cocky kid for a while until the cocky kid pushed him awkward guy had enough and hits a cocky guy in the face three times before he hit the ground knocked his front teeth out as we were all leaving school and talking about it the overall consensus was well that's what happens when you talk that much T this happened a couple of months back young driver in a brand new merc dangerously overtaking me and others on a single lane caught up with him at the next set of lights two-lane mine turning his going straight both with the car ahead of us did the universal wind down your window sign and suggested he cool his driving or he will get into a crash told me to freak off lights go green he boots it off the line smack into the back of the car in front bonad bent in half radiator blown airbags deployed I got out check the other poor innocent driver was unharmed gave him my details as a witness gave the bighead driver the old told-you-so and carried on my way I was paintballing last Saturday and there was a bunch of kids there for a birthday party birthday boy did and liked the fact that one of his guests has made a joke at his expense and everyone laughed so he shot him in the back of the leg from one yard away when walking away like nothing happened he tripped over a root and landed on his gun resulting in his hopper opening all his paintballs spilling onto the ground at the end of the gun taking a chunk of skin from his head I was driving on a two-lane road through a neighborhood the road had a lot of turns and the double yellow line was a clear indicator that passing was not allowed I was driving the speed limit for the neighborhood 30 miles per hour and this car comes up behind me and passes me 2 seconds later a police officer who just happened to see the whole thing from an upcoming intersection flashes his lights and pulls the guy over that was great not quite instant but my man came to my city and brought me home to look after me after I was wrongly discharged from acute inpatient care in the hospital this cost her a lot of money in both travel and lost hours at a job I didn't ask her to do this but she is a wonderful person so she did anyway whilst I was home she had an evening of a bingo with her best friend and they won over you acute 1000 which covered the costs she had had to spend to look after me close bracket I love my mom so much I'm so late to this party but this is too good not to share when I was about 16 and my brother was 12 we lived on a ranch we had horses cats dogs and chickens because of the horses we had this thing called a lunge whip it's basically a long flexible pole with a length of rope at the end my brother and I were waiting for the horses to finish eating lil bro was dragging around the lunge whip at first to play with the cats but then d ck she starts snapping the whip near the cats mostly till they rotate me pay don't do that mom already said that you weren't supposed to and if you accidentally hit one of them Allah beat you up me lil bro looks me in the eyes and says I do what I want he flicks the whip once more and it snaps back and hits him straight on the D CK I have called him D CK bruised for years it wasn't instant it actually happened about two years after Batman the satisfaction it was this customer we used to get and you know in royal dolls the twits he describes how a person's personality often transforms the way they look well that was this guy every day he'd come in looking like a bulldog looking pß off a thistle he was a freaking piece of work anyway he comes in orders his usual drink and stands off to the side waiting for it I'm the one making the drinks and one right after the other is the same drink same size just a different name on the cap I call out the first one which happens to be his but he's obviously living on another clean probably plotting on how to Frick up someone's day and doesn't hear his name being called multiple times it's when are laid down the second drink that sh t goes down another lady picks up the cup with his name on it and he picks up the drink with the lady's name on it he starts to go ballistic at me and at the customer waving his drink about calling the customer and ideas whatever I'm not paid enough I woke up to my manager and say she can deal with him and I walk off the floor because now I don't see this miserable crinkly face T for a good couple of years then one afternoon I'm walking down the street to meet up with someone when I see him he's just stepped in dogs T hasn't taken notice of it yet just keeps walking down the road I've never smiled wider in my life when I was in eighth grade my best friend and I were on the soccer team together we were on the bus on the way to a game and she had some sort of breath spray with her she sprayed it directly in my eyes I'm pretty sure it was an accident but it burned like hell and I was P said this happened right as we were arriving we all hopped off of the bus and immediately started warming up practicing he were passing the ball back and forth and as soon as I passed it to her a birch tea on her head it's one of my favorite memories [Music]

Channel: Reddit Tales

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Keywords: reddit, askreddit, top posts, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, subreddit, reddit stories, reddit tales, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, askreddit new, askreddit stories, reddit story, askreddit funny, reddit best, funny posts, funny askreddit, r/, reddit funny, emkay, updoot, cowbelly, toadfilms, updoot reddit, storytime with reddit, people of reddit, reddit reveals, reddit instant karma, reddit karma, revenge

Id: Rs0833a2cbM

Length: 27min 17sec (1637 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 16 2020