Parents of Horrible Children, Where Did It All Go Wrong?

parents of horrible children where did it all go wrong my brother dickweed's a drug addict and criminal i know pretty much where it went wrong at every turn my mother would cover for him if dick we'd miss school it's okay mother'd go in and smooth it out if he cut up a bunch of decorations it's fine it's fine we'll pay officer no need to charge us when he stole a car and totaled it she blamed everyone but him and got him a lawyer to convince them to drop the charges same deal with his first drug offense get him a lawyer convince the judge to give him probation for two years i have seen her bail him out talk him out and connive him out of more legal trouble than anyone i have ever known he is completely arrogant about his choices in life if you challenge him you're in butthole talking sense to him is impossible because in the echo chamber of his head the only person who matters is himself and why not all through his life hasn't his mother been there to shore him up and fish him out my younger brother 15 is going through this dad won't discipline him he is always in trouble no consequences ever what should i do i have two kids the oldest eight years old female is absolutely terrible the youngest six years old male is amazing i have no idea what happened i've been a stay-at-home mom for both of them their entire lives last year my daughter began acting out it started with tantrums it has now elevated to name-calling hitting and throwing her test scores in school are suffering this year and i'm not sure she'll make it out of second grade every day i pick them up from school we come home and within minutes it starts something will trigger her and i feel like there's nothing i can do sitting in timeout doesn't work today she sat in timeout for three hours straight this started out as a 10 minute punishment i'm at my wit's end i've taken toys away privileges away everything i can think of and it's getting to the point where my son is suffering because of her if she acts up we don't go out so to answer your question i have no idea where it went wrong i don't feel like my husband and i have raised the youngest any differently and it wasn't always like this i have horrible siblings felons drug addicts i'm the only person in my family who has figured out that my mom is a big time narcissist my brothers were the classic bad kids in school and graduated to drugs and jail and alcoholism i was somewhat the opposite as a kid behavior wise perfectionistic and now i am just intractably codependent and subconsciously self-destructive a narcissistic mother uses her children to feed her narcissism in all kinds of ways the damage from this is permanent i guess what i'm saying is that sometimes this crap is way more complicated than it looks in the grocery store i have been longing to tell these stories on reddit i worked as an au pair live in any sort of deal for a german family for about 10 months last year the parents had to travel a lot for work which i knew going into it though i was told it was not that frequent or for that long biggest lie they told me they have three children a 17 year old boy a 15 year old boy and an 11 year old girl i basically did everything for these kids i made their breakfasts their school lunches their dinners did all their laundry cleaned their rooms made their beds helped them with homework hung out with them everything including the parents cleaning and laundry which i was not supposed to do not a big deal i don't mind housework and i love cooking but holy frick the girl was the worst child i ever experienced in my life and i had a freak ton of experience working with kids especially kids from poor rough backgrounds this girl was incredibly spoiled by her father like any little girl and her mother was not usually around one evening we were playing rumor cub and we all beat her myself her brothers and her dad she threw a freaking fit literally flipped the table screaming and sobbing and when her older brother told her to calm down she freaking lunged at him grabbed his leg and bit him and tore off flesh she freaking tore flesh from his calf then her father started yelling at her so she bit him on the arm until he bled he started screaming at her at which point she started to sob and then he comforted her told her it was okay and asked if she wanted ice cream ice cream nope if she was my child or i had authority at that moment she'd be freaking done another time i was helping my host mother put away the christmas decorations the daughter was in a crappy mood as usual and was sitting on the stairs to the basement they live in a very beautiful modern home and the stairs are made of concrete and steel i am carrying a box of christmas stuff this demon child stretches out her leg and trips me down the stairs luckily i caught myself before i fell but if i had fallen i could have seriously been injured the mother refused to believe that her daughter did that to me and yelled at me for being clumsy and dropping the box there were also just the usual temper tantrums anything would set her off she'd have friends over and be mad that they got a bigger cookie and start throwing crap all over the house throw herself on the floor and just scream she was horrible a side note the two youngest kids drank hot chocolate out of baby bottles in the morning legit baby bottles ugh i have more stories about how the parents abuse the crap out of me but that is for another place and time jesus christos dicline shisa finn if you need help dealing with them there's this guy dexter i know speaking for my pay teacher he's said that he has just straight up told parents that their kids are butthole and when we asked for an example once he'd literally told a parent your kid is going to fail pay and possibly seventh grade if he keeps his act up parent proceeds to be pay teacher responds with your kid acts a lot like you so you could say that it went wrong from the start as a babysitter for some really crappy children do not let them walk all over you assert your dominance like with dogs little purse dogs get really cocky because they can jump up on their owners and basically do whatever the heck they want while bigger dogs have to stay off the couch and not jump on people or bark all the time but the thing is little kids don't stay a little little kids like little dogs assume they have power because they are allowed to do more of what they want so they continue to act spoiled and immature then as they grow up they get harder and harder to control because the kid gets bigger and stronger and faster and louder basically make limits and rules clear from an early age small kids shouldn't be allowed to misbehave just because they're young and don't know better teach them better or they will walk all over you we give them too many chances to do what they're told we get too tired overwhelmed and don't enforce punishments as often as we should lack of consistency pretty much sums it up we're working hard on changing c though they're young enough that it will be all right ages five three one past problem child here compared to a few of the things i read my shirtiness was a cakewalk but here goes for the longest time my mom thought i would turn out to be an axe murderer im not joking by eight i was violent pushy and generally hard to control that's not to say i was horrible on my own i was being abused by my father drunken beatings threatening to kill me more more younger sis if i told anyone and he was hurting me had a gun in my face when i was five so i was screwed up for those wondering yes the signs were there however when younger i was extremely active i climbed and fell out of trees jumped off swings monkey bars and did the normal hyperactive child thing well fast forward to 10 i start eating as a coping mechanism i was depressed and wanted to die tried to kill myself at 12 so life sucked we come 13 and everything starts to change i was still a violent little crap would beat up my younger sister who weighed less than half my weight what changed however was that my father wasn't satisfied just beating me anymore he raped my mom to those that would say that isn't possible yes it is if someone is screaming at you telling you that you are hurting them then it is wrong and you should stop well daddy dearest didn't and mom needed surgery i still have nightmares about that even though it has been nine years when i was 14 she got a restraining order it was only one month after it happened mom had planned it out and when he went away for a weekend to a christian retreat we packed up and got the frick out fast forward another 2 years m16 and it's christmas eve i hated christmas with a passion still very much dislike it because that's when you know what happened and had been a little be to my mom that day i come to find out the next day that for the first time in my life all 16 years of it i had made my mom cry that was the turning point i couldn't forgive myself still can't i changed my whole life because of that i became a pacifist started studying more in school got better grades and got a full ride to a community college i have been out in that abusive situation for eight years now and i'm a completely different person in that time i went from seeming like i was going to become a murderer to getting a b average in college not to mention all the free ride i'm getting though considering tuition for me is only two thousand dollars that isn't saying much mayo he went to a christian retreat after that the hypocrisy of some people is staggering heard her i abuse my child and rape my wife but i am a good christian and jesus loves me it's a simple thing sleep or lack of it you don't get any your partner doesn't get any the goddamn kids never sleep they make so much noise the neighbors don't sleep my neighbors call the cops cause of the noise and so the cops don't sleep this pisses me off so i have to go out and grab a quick bite mcdonald's starbucks and taco bell don't sleep i come home and have to vent writing worthless crap like this on reddit now everyone that reads radit can't sleep the whole world is freaking pee at me and my kids cause no one gets any sleep seriously if we all just slept a little longer we'd get along so much better i think most of my worst parenting patterns have exhaustion as a factor as someone who used to deal with lots of kids on a daily basis taught kids from different ages my observation was that children who were spoken to with respect by their parents were much more likely to return that respect treating children like children encourages it all of my best students had mothers who when i presented a behavioral issue would simply sit the kid down and logically explain it to them parents who yell say because i said so and otherwise treat kids with less respect tend to get bad kids however because i wasn't with them 24 hours a day i always had a feeling that just maybe the evil little bastards are the ones who drove their formerly decent parents over the edge and caused the cycle to begin with my kid was pretty difficult as a toddler but from about age five to ten she stayed out of trouble and was actually incredibly well mannered and charming as a teenager she was incurably angry and though we tried everything and she went through several rehabs it would take me like four hours to write out everything i went through with her she is an addict as an adult and she has done the most horrible things including to her family we all tried very hard to be good role models and teach her good morals and whatnot but we failed miserably currently she's sober again just heard she's in a halfway house in central texas and was glad to hear she was alive and safe she's 23 now a lot of the kids she grew up with who were horrible brats at 7 8 9 10 grew out of it and are leading productive healthy lives now i think childhood and adolescence are both very confusing and scary times and most of us do things in those eras that our fully formed adult selves would never do i know this doesn't answer the question specifically but i thought it might be relevant i think most kids have their bad moments so maybe you just witnessed one of those i have small kids and they are usually quite good but when they are really hungry or tired they can act terrible i try not to let them get to that point but i am not perfect and sometimes i forget to fuel them up before going out somewhere tl dr a hungry or tired child can be a little monster i believe in temperament obviously it's clear to anyone who's ever met kids that they can be born determined stubborn not fond of change etc i don't believe any of these things make a kid bad they make him respond better or worse to a given parenting style they make make you stretch yourself because he's different from you i think the number of kids who are actually born so damaged as to be unable to let a productive life is minuscule this includes things like child onset schizophrenia and psychopathy although i suspect psychopathy it's a bit less cut and dried and biological than we like to think i feel incredibly lucky my daughter who turns five tomorrow is an angel even going through the separation of her parents at a young age consistent uncertainties and the constant need to adapt to new situations she has been incredible of course she's not absolutely perfect she cries sometimes when she doesn't get her way or when she's sad about something that's a fact of childhood and learning though i suppose i'm in no way saying that i'm some kind of perfect parent but i will say that what we've done has worked really well for her first five years i often wonder how much of a child's mood is upbringing and how much is inherent before i was a parent i often immediately judged kids as being spoiled brats granted that was probably wrong of me but i often see kids getting their way after enough whining which of course reinforces the belief that if i cry enough i'll get my way my ex and i talked a lot about how we would raise a child if we had one prior to my daughter being born and sticking to that has avoided the consistent outbursts that i see many parents going through if there is anything i could say to future parents while noting that every child is different and it's not an end-all solution i'd say the following this is just what worked for us and i think any child can change habits 1. explain everything because it's not an answer people complain a lot about their child just going off and doing things i'm not saying nick's self-discovery but i am saying that if they ask a question give them an actual answer you want them to always feel comfortable coming to you and to know they'll actually have things explained it works a lot too don't yell i never thought i would say that but it's true they can sense tone and honestly yelling just teaches them that it's a good way to react my daughter has gotten a swat on the butt twice in her life because it has never been necessary otherwise when she hears my tone switched and upset or bothered her face instantly shows of recognition and she knows something she did was wrong three the instant reaction shouldn't be to swat your kid again i'm not one of those don't lay a finger on your kids types i was raised with severe butt beatings when i screwed up it worked i needed it and with the kind of kid i was i deserve it when i see parents that have a kid in their shopping cart that won't sit down and they immediately smack the kid i cringe save that for when it's really warranted simply not wanting to do something isn't a reason hitting someone that's a reason i think the majority though not all of people don't realize that they have bad kids if anyone comments about how ill behave their kids are it results in that defensive omfg don't tell any how to parent bs typically followed with this is how i was raised and i t worked out fine see that logic needs no analysis lol i don't think my son is horrible but he could fit into a difficult child definition to clarify he does get in trouble frequently in school has trouble doing what he's told versus what he thinks he should do and being argumentative with me and teachers i'm a very caring and involved parent who never has stopped trying i have researched and tried many different techniques of parenting and discipline i keep up usually weekly with his teacher so we can be on the same page with disciplining him you ask where did it all go wrong i have had more sleepless nights trying to answer this question me and my husband his father have wracked our brains fallen apart cried heartbroken wondering why we came to the agreement that no matter what happens we just choose to love him and never give up even when it seems like it does not help when it's all said and done i know i can live with that i married a man who had been divorced his kids were great the little girl was smart and tough and the easiest kid to have in your life the boy was an imaginative and smart kid who would bite break things scream for the police and cry for help as he beat your head in his father tried for the next 15 years to get him help and the boy's mother wouldn't have it the boy is 19. we've tried everything we couldn't and now he's an adult in the same situation 10 years ago we had our first child together a beautiful boy who loves everyone around 2 years old everything changed i thought i was doing something wrong we tried so many different things the only thing that worked was holding him while he screamed taking him out of situations that made him upset we hesitated having more children only momentarily we had two more children a boy and a girl who are quiet respectful silly children nothing like their two older brothers everything like their eldest sister what did we do differently that made them turn out so completely opposite nothing obviously we raised them as individuals who had different needs but we didn't totally throw in the towel on these children two of our boys were born with severe mood disorders and autism we love them and won't give up on them we get a lot of crap from people who assume we are bad parents and have evil children they aren't evil and they aren't bad kids they try so hard to live within the rules of society and struggle so to control themselves i don't make excuses for my family they are who we are and we are in your society we struggle every dang day to be acceptable to you folks who think we are horrid parents with evil children parent here giving my two cents on this it does no good to yell or make threats if there's no follow-through or discipline my kids knew when they were little if they misbehaved in a store they wouldn't be getting a treat or little toy good behavior should be rewarded not the other way around i have a sister she has a son i love them both daily they are horrible at existence when one winds the other wines back it has actually become hard to distinguish the two if you can't see them while they are whining the boy gets everything he wants not just from his mom but from everybody in the family for he is the only one in his generation and has been for 10 years now i have been guilty of spoiling him myself but have recently realized the error of my ways the boy has not earned anything in his entire life again i love him but he is a brat i am going out to build him a tree fort for his 10th birthday something i always wanted and never had as a kid this next weekend but have already decided that i will only be working on it so long as he is i hope that i can avoid being the evil uncle while also making this kid realize that the world isn't always going to hand him everything when he whines for it wish me luck well this will be buried but here goes first i am not a parent i am the oldest half brother to my dad's four kids two brothers two sisters i am 30 b1 is 24 s1 is 23 b2 is 21 and s2 is 19. my dad and his now ex-wife fought for as long as i can remember and she and i always were at odds because i was always stirring crap up as an adult i feel her pain and i would have beat my butt a lot more often i spent the weekends there a lot until i was 14 i wanted to move in and my mom let me at 14 i was smoking grass with my old man and continued to do so until i was 20 i started getting my weed from my pops and my brothers did years later to make this too long story shorter i blame the crap out of my dad i have wised up now but both of my brothers still smoke pot and one is a completely worthless freak the other still makes questionable decisions but i think he's finding his way neither of my sisters do drugs or drink now but the oldest is disgustingly obese and the other is a complete jesus freak literally attended a jesus camp near austin and has been there for almost two years now my dad has been the biggest failure to all of us that i could imagine a dad could be he played every card here that you all talk about more worried about being buddies than a dad never follow through with any disciplinary threats even if we freaked up he would always try to quantify what we did right smoked pot with at least four of us and did him and coke with me my youngest sister was the only one to graduate hs the oldest had her first baby senior year the dream house we moved into is something straight out of nightmares now because it was never taken care of i have never seen my dad work full time though i have heard him talk about it so here's the kicker my old man was a rich kid grandpa has a ridiculous amount of money i'll never know but i know his boat was four mil and he just sold his personal plane w pilot to trim down on expenses without gpa's money none of this would have been possible so it may as well have been the government b2 still lives at home and has been getting 600 a month to go to college for the past three years he's been to two semesters two years apart he has never held a job for longer than a couple weeks and he is a fat lazy frick who i refuse to speak with this last holiday season i've essentially stopped speaking with my dad my reason there is no good end to how you are living whether it's jail health complications the house being condemned whatever i want no part in it i haven't spoken with him for a couple months now and it's killing me that little kid in me that was best friends with my dad still wants him in my life the 30 year old with the family does not want my kids to be exposed to his shenanigans tl dr my old man is a pothead more concerned about the now than the future the results are painfully displayed in his four kids sadly psychopathy isn't preventable but just say no to giving a kid an iphone before the age of 10 or spoiling the crap out of them my kids have been playing with my old iphones since they were little they take pictures and make the most adorable movies if that's spoiled then i will spoil them all day my sister is a pretty terrible person we were raised the same way fairly open i had absolutely no restrictions i could have girls in my room i had absolutely no curfew my parents even thought i went to one of my friend's house to smoke pot and let me we actually stayed up all night playing halo in a cabin so my eyes were red and i smelled like i tried to cover up any smell using fireplace smoke she was two years older and had more restrictions placed on her due to her doing things like sneaking out and driving home drunk they probably could have punished her more when we were children she would always start the fights and when we were left alone in the house she would sadistically attack me but she would pound on my door for hours and since i didn't have a lock i needed to sit in front of it holding it shut i don't really blame them though as there was no way for them to know what i wouldn't have gave for a video recording device like every kid has now anyways i think some people are just going to be bad people and there's not much you can do about it she genuinely takes pleasure in other people's pain it's pretty ironic she became a nurse my sister is horrible at home my mother spoils her because she's her baby she doesn't do her school work home schooled my mom actually made me complete part of her tests online for her i've told them i never will again because she'll never learn she has never cleaned a day and get life we used to move every year or twice a year and she never touched one moving box and can't even help my mom with dishes my mom has health problems even when i was eight months pregnant i had to clean her room for her so my mom wouldn't get mad she gets to sleep all day wake up to play the ps3 and sleep again my mother won't listen when i say she needs public school she's not learning anything or discipline she gets these horrible attitudes which result in her getting what she wants she even convinces my mom to spend well over 300 on psn cards for her games right after she says no i won't do the dishes i was never allowed to do that or monster mom would come out now i was forced to grow up quick i even helped raise my sister when we were younger i was an emotional crutch for my mom and my mom jokes about me being jealous but honestly i just wish they would raise her better she's never going to learn anything being treated like a princess what kind of 13 year old doesn't brush your own hair or know how to sweep sorry for the rant this has just been bugging me for years and my mom won't listen if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

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Id: GpwVhid2TMA

Length: 27min 12sec (1632 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 31 2021