Painfully Dark Secrets About Everyday Life - AskReddit

your job doesn't care about you at all what are the dark secrets about regular life that everyone should know about people change you never really know them they can be in your life for 20 30 40 years and out of nowhere blindside you so learn to be happy on your own live and love of course but do not allow anyone or any few people to define your happiness it's all right to give people the power to hurt you by loving and trusting them but never give so much of yourself away that their very presence in your life defines you and you cannot live without them that leads to you either accepting bad behavior to keep them around or it leads to crippling depression if they leave own your own happiness karma in the real world does not exist life isn't always fair and you'll just have to get used to it there isn't any balance or fairness people always assume there is especially when it comes to genetics like when an unattractive person is assumed to have a good personality and a very attractive person is assumed to be vain and selfish doesn't work like that sometimes the most attractive person is also very intelligent and a wonderful person and that the ugly one is a petty butthole sometimes horrible things happen to people that didn't do a thing to deserve it sometimes wonderful things happen to bad people in either case there's no retribution or reward to follow friendships are fragile most have a convenience factor go to school together work together live near each other and once that's gone the friendship becomes much less important as you age work family and spouses demand more of your time and there's less left for friends it doesn't mean you care less but without effort you'll lose those friendships often one half of the friendship is more willing to put the work in than the other and that can sustain the relationship or lead to bitterness you will most likely be average you won't win the lottery you will not become famous there is nothing special about you and there is nothing wrong with it billions of people are just average and lead average lives it keeps the world turning and that can be fulfilling on its own most children dream of being discovered or doing something great but less than one percent of those children really become anything i've decided to lean into it and become the most average person out there and just try to be as comfortable i can be until the end your workplace is not your friend the employee who dishes with you about all the other employees most likely talks about you to other people too so watch what you say to that person bonding over disliked co-workers can cause you to let your guard down compliment other co-workers behind their backs to the person that gossips the most do this often and the gossiper will stop coming to you with negative insights everyone at work will like you after you compliment them behind their backs the gossiper will make sure they know about it stay very diplomatic when it comes to workplace politics if you agree that a person or policy is in the wrong say so but also leave a positive response about the subject that far outshines the negative aspect don't pick sides as there's always some truth and often good intentions in everyone's choices and actions you don't get what you deserve you get what you get and what you get will never be what you deserve a classmate of mine who did drugs booze was at a party every other day it seemed barely attended his classes always slacked off failed his tests more often than not and on the other end of the spectrum was a studious classmate who was like a teacher's ideal student aced everything guess which one is earning more yup the party guy is in a well-paying position thanks to his rich dad of course and studious guy actually lost his job not that party guy was evil or bad just that you would have expected a stereotypical outcome from his behavior which turns out isn't true in this world if you win the lottery don't tell anyone i hit a smallish lottery a few millions a little while back and told absolutely no one family and friends included i took a bunch of steps to secure my kids futures and we live a very comfortable but not lavish life i'm pretty generous with the people around me i think that they just think i'm doing very well career-wise or something illegal under the table i justify it by thinking that if this was general knowledge amongst friends and family it would ruin relationships my priority needed to be my kids you can be going along enjoying your life thinking you've got it all figured out and boom in a matter of minutes it can all go to hell and everything you believe to be true and the future you imagine for yourself will be gone and just because you do everything right doesn't necessarily mean you get what you want and sometimes you are the reason that happens to yourself your actions can cause your own world to shatter not just quoting you to be annoying but i do think one hard truth for many people is that we make our own bed in many respects sometimes it's just bad luck other times it's your own damn fault the world doesn't owe you anything sometimes you can do everything right but still not make it a few months ago i was offered my dream job and got it a couple weeks before moving the position was terminated due to covid luck accounts for the majority of everyone's successes and failures but people only ever account for it with failures not to take away the hard work people put into things but no matter how talented you are terry's probably someone who does that better and didn't get the lucky break you did the takeaway is show empathy understand if someone isn't doing well it very well could be due to bad luck the funeral industry is just like the wedding industry the funeral industry is an absolute racket they host people experiencing deep and unrelenting grief by subtly guilting them that if they don't spend more money they didn't truly care about their deceased loved one when my friend passed away at 23 his family who had a lot of money and not a lot of healthy coping skills ended up spending an exorbitant amount on his funeral they got up sold on a casket that cost thousands which was only for the viewing jewelry made of his ashes weird art made of his handprints they easily spent as much as a wedding it was grotesque watching the way they got rinsed because they were mourning and didn't have the emotional fortitude to consider what was happening in the moment i ran a non-profit for a while and thought that the non-profit community would be pretty great because aren't we all trying to do good things well the non-profit world is home to some of the most ruthless and cold-hearted bastards i've ever come across particularly when it comes to competing for funding there are no friends among non-profits and charities someone replied i got involved in community activism i'm keeping it big here and pretty much everyone involved higher up is a power hungry monster competitive with each other not just for funding but for cloud and popularity with the public also it was amazing how many people were willing to sell out the cause slash their beliefs for money lifetime community organizers making a living by taking funding from the most unethical sources imaginable if you ever meet someone that's spent years dedicated to a charitable or humanitarian cause then you've probably met an a-hole the exceptions are the genuinely kind volunteers who are relatively new they last about two years three if they're tough but they eventually see the people running the show for the monsters that they are and leave completely disillusioned nobody said being an adult would be this lonely i'm a 26 year old female relatively attractive sociable and i take pride in how kind i am but it doesn't matter people are busy and making the friendship connection is so much harder as an adult than it was growing up i have about three friends total i can go to for anything on the upside my familial relations have improved greatly as an adult we were broken growing up but now are all in a good place in life and with each other bullies are not just in middle school they are everywhere workplaces fire departments professional organizations community organizations are all iterations of middle school to one degree or another you will never be free of petty rivalry grudge holders toxic people underminers and self-appointed bosses fortunately you can choose to make sure your peace is not predicated on the actions of these people your job doesn't care about you at all some of the people you work with might but if you die they'd replace you in a heartbeat and after a couple months you won't come up in conversation take care of yourself your family and your friends over the company you work for putting your everything into a job is just stupid you can but sooner or later will be replaced your spouse hopefully only has you and if you're working all the time you can get replaced nobody else is going to be mom or dad to your kids act accordingly real life has no bad guys it's all just people with different goals and how far they're willing to go to achieve them nobody thinks of themselves the bad guy the person robbing your house has justified it to themselves their road your stuff or life has been rough to them so they're just evening it out how you think you are going to act in a crisis or tragedy is not at all how you will likely act especially if you scoffed at people on tv being too stoic weird wooden etc not only was i in the military but i've had jobs that required training in emergency response whenever there was an emergency i dove right into it and then there was this night when my husband son and i were sitting in our old apartment this was a luxury development in a very nice and safe area suddenly we heard gunshots and in an instant my mama bear motherly instincts you know the ones where i throw myself on my young son to shield him from gunfire went out the window i dropped to the ground and crawled into the back room it turned out that they were only fireworks i didn't realize because they're illegal here and i used to live in a city where gunshots were the norm even though it was 11 years ago and my son and husband have always laughed about it i still carry the guilt of not protecting him even though you are by far the most qualified candidate for a job or a promotion they can give it someone undeserving and there's nothing you can do about it nepotism i gave the job to my son friendships inability to recognize talent you at some point may likely face this and it sucks there are some people you just can't save and who will drag you down with them if you let them whether it's addiction excessive anger constant negativity or just never ending chaos if they're an adult you have no obligation to fix it for them and you can't anyway until they become ready to fix it for themselves if there's someone you want to save that is dragging you down you need to recognize your own limits and act accordingly helping people can be good but sacrificing yourself needlessly is emotionally lazy and sets a bad example for others invest your heart wisely and know when to take a loss and move on no matter how hard you work or try some things just will never happen for you we love preaching that hard work will always result in success but that isn't true some people no matter how hard they work will never be rich or successful yes hard work is a good trait to have and is definitely beneficial but luck will get you farther than hard work ever will whether it be knowing the right people or being in the right place at the right time i've met so many people with lucrative jobs who only got them because of a relative or friend already at the company even some of the opportunities i've gotten were only because i was in the right place at the right time example parents go out to eat at random restaurant and see a famous musician my mom is scared to bother him but my dad walks up to him in his bodyguard and gives him my demo tape he actually listens to it likes it and calls me the same day wanting to work with me that was like 95 luck and 5 being a decent musician there are musicians far more talented than me who will never have that kind of luck same with relationships we love saying you'll find the right one soon but for some people they never will that's life and it's unfair but that's life i view myself as a very optimistic person too but this is the reality in a public setting it can take you less than 10 seconds of effort to get you a substantial amount of prison time not everyone gives a damn about death often times family members die and their relatives are more so stressed about their own things going on and how those things conflict with making arrangements if you think that you have odd behavior online that somehow accidentally put you on some sort of watch list you're probably right even if you're not doing anything illegal or immoral an enormous part of this economy necessarily relies on debt i used to be a bill collector and was actually very surprised at how enormous the accounts receivables field is a continuation of the last one if a hospital calls you for a past due balance it's likely not the hospital and it's already in the hands of a third-party collector who is stating that they are the hospital same goes for cable companies mortgage companies and basically anything else that you can be a debtor to another debt related one companies can sell your debt if your account seems impossible to collect on it'll keep getting bought at a low premium by various collectors that'll try increasingly harder to make you pay it sometimes they'll lower the amount you owe but it'll still be a higher amount than the price they bought your debt for so it'll still turn them a profit if you pay sometimes this debt gets sold to an overseas collector and that's when the calls get excessively bad because they don't care about fcc regulations or your country's equivalent if not in the u.s the silver lining if you find out about this it's hard to then technically you no longer owe the original company money and may be able to get their mark taken off of your credit history the universe does not care about you good and bad things will happen to you regardless of how good or bad you are even most religions acknowledge this there is rarely justice karma fairness or equality do the right proper kind and fair thing because it makes you feel better about yourself not because you are counting on it coming back to you if it does accept it as a pleasant surprise financial success is mostly predicated on luck or an existing foundation like rich parents hard work and personality are some of it but there are a lot of hard-working poor people there are not many groups looking out for you to most employers businesses governments etc you are just a number when you find one that does care about you like the old full-service grocers used to stick with them you almost certainly should have started to save more of your money earlier you always meant to but it almost never gets easier there are a lot of businesses and people that are going to prey on you and the lower on the latter you are the more they will take advantage payday lenders and cheap shampoos are just a couple ways the poor are ripped off every day your brain is designed to make certain kinds of mistakes and there are lots of way others will use this to their advantage humans are generally bad at abstract things like numbers or odds our memory is faulty and easily tricked you can be easily manipulated or brainwashed by something as stupid as cheap salesman tricks or advertising gimmicks if you don't follow traditions and do things your own way it seems almost nightmarish in the beginning too many people writing you off too many people saying that you've let yourself go or you'd fail but then as you grow older and you are still living by your own rules and convictions everything changes the same people who wrote you off for being different will start calling you intelligent or even a role model as i am growling older i'm realizing that most people are unhappy they made choices to fit in choices that did not suit them at all and the ones who stuck to their guts and did things their own way they are the ones who still have smiles on their faces along with the wrinkles work friends aren't real friends by default ask folks for a recommendation for a therapist and you'll find out that way more of your friends than you think have probably gone to therapy including the best adjusted people you know there's a reason they're the best adjusted people you know everything costs something that person you know who's super successful they paid something to get what they've got they just won't show you what it cost they may not even know empathy isn't about putting yourself into someone else's shoes when done right it's about realizing that other people can be fundamentally different than you down to base assumptions about how they process the world and everything in it for instance there are people with no internal monologue something i realized on this journey called life everyone is just winging it it dawned upon me one day that everyone just kinda takes a guess and hopes it's the right answer your boss totally just winging it you probably know just as much as they know once i started to live my life with this knowledge it became a lot less stressful and i became more understanding of people you can be way more evil cruel despicable and brutal than you think you can be and you can easily be turned into a monster under the right conditions people think the atrocities of the world wars were committed by terrible monsters and that the majority of people isn't that way but that's wrong those atrocities those acts of cruelty and merciless violence those were normal people committing them in some cases of ptsd the problem doesn't arise from witnessing some terrible stuff it comes from doing it and realizing what you did sometimes even enjoying it that a majority of your focus should go to reducing stress mental and physical get to bed on time drink enough water do some deep breathing a couple times a day go for a walk prep in nature be careful with caffeine and alcohol remember to do things you love to do enjoy every single positive thing big or small all of the above will help you recover faster from stress and keep your energy up even reduce inflammation and depression which is absolutely rampant these days the celebrities that you crave to emulate get a lot of the stuff for free they are just breathing billboards stop putting yourself into debt for them at the end of the day just like money you can't take it with you also they technically get it for free but they pay for it with their brand image everyone in the public eye has to manage their perception with the public if they choose to be seen with the wrong product it could destroy the delicate image they have created over years the fact that people want to emulate a celeb is actually a cheat sheet approach of dialing into someone who is a team of people choosing how their images portrayed thanks for listening to radio tts hit the subscribe button and activate the notification bell for more videos click the right box for the society lies to you playlist let us know in the comments what you think about these stories

Channel: Radio TTS

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Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, best of reddit, askreddit, reddit story, ask reddit, reddit cringe, askreddit funny, reddit funny, r/askreddit, top posts, reddit best, r/, reddit top posts, askreddit top posts, reddit top post, radio tts being adult, grownup problems, adult problems, reddit adulthood, adulting, being adult, grown ups, normal life, Regular life, Secrets

Id: NRzDf-1eHvg

Length: 18min 55sec (1135 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 19 2020