OFFENSIVE JOKES WITH RICKY GERVAIS

hello guys Haider and welcome back to the Jack mate podcast it's a Christmas special somehow and today I am joined by my comedy hero mr. Tom Norris hey don't give me that I'll take get Honduras no Asia it's Christmas hey we've got some one shaped like Santa honestly I'm so fat now it took me you saw it took me ages to get comfortable where I have to cross my legs and that pushes all my organs up to the throat but I think I think I'll get away with it a jumper you still don't look that comfortable now as opposed to you still don't look that far brilliant that's the one you went with oh you're not that comfortable what can I just say we just did a handshake yeah and on the last video we did I was really proud of that before it was a good video it's quite funny and a lot of these comes out here they were they commented on the handshake they said it was very weak my lord I think was on mock because I sort of when I saw one like that squeeze adjust me yeah trust me I trust you then yeah as long as it's not as long as it's not worse than the wet napkin yeah it's awkward though isn't it it's a massive anything's weird because you never you never think of doing that and so you did something learn it's always okay it's always a bit weird yeah I always find the kiss in a bit strange I hunt though I can't I can't do yeah some of my friends hug everyone goodbye them I'm just the one looks like that's me right then what are you doing yeah so well I don't know I never know what to do even though even the pressure of walking out to a chat show yeah I mean do I hug yeah go that way they had but you are you not briefed on what what the way to do it is I mean I I don't care anymore on my early days you think what is the wife do something wrong I'll shake the hand and they do it's it's awkward being alive is it minefield no but we've only made that for ourselves I mean only human like you never see animals do that kind of [ __ ] so they will just go out it strikes me that you said that it's awkward because I think in our last chat you mentioned that you you do get awkward but on that on the exterior you seem like somebody that doesn't get I don't get awkward in everyday life I guess but because I'm famous and I get awkward when someone stops and talks to me because it's there's an imbalance because they think they know me yeah and they know everything about me yeah but I don't know them at all so I don't act like they are expecting news you know I mean so the first time anyone asked me for my autograph autograph I was newly famous and then I went really and they went yeah and I realized I made them feel stupid yeah because they were cuz I'm a-gonna what you an idiot if you want my autograph I was trying to be all sort of humble and so now sure so it's things like that they yeah what was that we were in the airport coming back from somewhere on tour and I walked into the the lounge which is like you know first-class decor and there's a bloke just filming me just oh I [ __ ] I'm not looking at me looking at is just filled with just happening it's like and I want to go but you can't oh would you think you are yeah yeah I'm a just another put you don't do it wit yeah go and do it okay no so it's really odd it's just other kind of in that weird middle ground because I'm not famous but people look like I've got a fair few views online so people recognize me in the street and they'll come up to me and the worst question I can get they'll come up and go and you famous if I go yeah then I look like the biggest swell I know but it's all just you say that they're not famous because it's a different demographic because you are famous I don't know how many million views you get but it's more than most people on the telly these days and it's a completely different sort of Fame as Wow walking in here we're in YouTube headquarters he walks through like it's good they go they go to me can I be passed please not my demographic but it's like but you're an elder statesman now how long has it been going YouTube a while yeah over 10 years and so you've been in the audio 24c you're like I'm one of the old a look up to you that these 9 year olds that are getting a billion views I like it I get caught down oh you know one of those were my I usually go on and either watch um like I like comedy podcasts and interviews with things that are or boxing and UFC I like that but it's one leads to another yeah and then I found myself the other night watching people pull maggots out of EDS yeah how did that happen yeah and I was I was going oh okay the next way unbelievable girl like yeah and it's like oh wait and it wasn't enough sooner I was going I'm gonna snake being pulled out of an eye it's a magazine it rubbish on the head to just pull apart and this lizard come out yeah a woman jump off of a cliff ones and then hit her head right on the eye and I had like split open like that and then after seeing that I've seen it all now I mean I don't know well watch those when someone really gets her I can't even watch those skateboard sort of it I think what that's gonna really what they say no one got hurt it was just embarrassing you know everyone wants to see you know a fat bloke fall down the stairs everyone that is dead good you know I mean I don't I don't I don't want there I can't watch the real awful pain and no anguish in that I got out the air duster there's someone therapeutic there's a system isn't it yeah I said I was okay I wish I had a Maggie in the end but only great to pull that out and there you know surprise me I don't have a follow-up questions so that's popping spot 1 so you get the ones I hate the blackhead there and the like oh yeah I got onto that as well I'm biggest blackhead ever yeah and it was like I was like a lump of grit and they were just pulling now that's the good thing about YouTube there's no one in your ear going this is awful take it off it goes on it goes on my yeah I have yeah I'm fascinated by them you see things that have been good to me because you know I've always been fascinated with that you know that everyday person becoming famous you know the the office apart from working in office for 10 years that sort of came and we were watching those quaint doc you soaked mmm do you know I mean when Audrey guy was followed around and I thought that was the peak of it but it's not and now it's people I mean doing anything to be famous and anyone can become famous you know it's it's YouTube presumably is the biggest broadcaster in the world is you know probably so it does fascinate me and obviously I mean I like it somewhat ironically it's like wiggling a tooth that I've seen you do shows about like complete [ __ ] though they're gone there and it's like they're talking about their their muscles and their presumably they're popular as well are nightmares yeah it is kind of you're not a bitter person but does it piss does it piss you off that you see some vloggers who do very little and they sort of they would get millions and millions of views and then you're there you've you've sort of crafted your app for many years you've written these stand-up shows these no it doesn't again it's it's not part of my world it's it's it's not my demographic whatever that means but no because it's like it's also there's no way you can calibrate it it's not a reflection of how good it is it's a reflection of how popular it is and you know I've added to videos of people put in maggots out of their head yeah dude I mean so I think it it's how much it's worth I don't mean that just in a monetary sense but III think people have a morbid desire to see things they don't even like so it's no reflection on how I'm good something is all that liveleak really familiar with that what's that it's like a website in which you can see I feel like your granddad you teach me the ways of the modern well here it goes again look at that no you know I don't all of like is liveleak yeah liveleak John no say it maybe it's just me then maybe I've made this up but no it's a website in which you can go on and the first page you come to is like you're accepting all these teas and seeds for the [ __ ] you are about to see and that is kind of like the YouTube for the videos that can be on YouTube that make sense so there's like I'm already frightened my sister head-fuck there's people like goat like truck and for some reason I think I've done it before like years ago but like I've been on there I've had a binge and then afterwards I think why the [ __ ] did my brain tell me I want to say yeah I don't I don't I don't I don't want to see it really no it's like the the dark web I don't know I don't know where that is or where it exists or how you know but I don't I don't want to go there yeah do you not any yeah I haven't got that sort of curiosity for seeing the worst things in the world yeah you know but no I think it's a it's another form of communication it's another choice I think it's great it's vast you know it's then we can you shouldn't complain about too much choice yeah it's odd you know I see people sort of they've got like 300 channels on the TV and they're all rubbish okay well don't watch the rubbish ones do you not me yeah and I think that you should never really complain about too much choice it's the thing that gets me and it's not that I disagree with it but these people that come to such a level of Fame just by film in their life I don't understand it I don't get it they say oh they're putting in a lot of work a lot of work they weren't everything also that I don't know where it ends because I think those people who do live their life like an open wound and and do anything to get a bit of Fame money they regret it because there's not there's no respect they're just just see and these people that think well are and they look at you know film stars or whatever or pop stars and I think well they're rich and they're happy and everyone loves them I want a bit of that but they forget the bit that made them rich and happy people love them is that they really worked hard and although a great songwriter they're a great singer and they just want to cut out the middleman go well I don't lead to all that stuff that's hard I'm good I just want to be I'm a bass straight to my face just straight to the red carpet you know and it is it's it's it's an easy mistake to make and it's I can see why it's attractive you know if it says what you want to do you want to work hard for six years and become a doctor or just be famous now and get money for nothing and they do that but you've still got you know you've you produce a good product I think it's interesting you know just the fact that the work that's gone on it with all the questions the fact that you're bothering you are trying to create something you're creating stuff as good as most TV shows it's just on YouTube it's on the TV it ends up here anyway yeah do you think one day we'll see that well I don't know well what do you think personally because you even sort of apologized you said well I know I'm not really famous and but and and you are but do you want TV to validate it in a way in a way if they said we're doing a TV show about your blogging life you take him wouldn't you yeah yeah because it's sort of like going now I'm real yeah it's weird though because I think my opinion on it has changed over the years because when I was younger I got approached by BBC three and it's probably one of my biggest regrets really I did a show about moving out for the first time oh can you live without your mum and dad Ryan it was called Hotel of mum and dad and I had me and my girlfriend at the time did it and it was just a really fake like they basically went oh he's he's only started on YouTube he only makes 40 pound a month or whatever like can you do it and then when it went out I was kind of like I'm gonna be validated as a youtuber because they've done this show about me and stuff like that but it's not if anything it's the opposite like when I look back on well and it cringy well that's the problem as well it's like you know you are you are sort of opening yourself to be laughed at in a way yeah if you if you do those reality yeah there's no good ending really because even if you come out Wow people don't take you seriously because they go but he's not real he was yeah so it's it's sort of a vicious circle and and if you're not in control of the idea you're at their mercy I knew a guy was a manager of a band right and the band had sort of gone with someone else and he got approached by a radio BBC radio to do it be part of a documentary talking about this and when it came out on air the documentary series was called life losers and he was one of those because he was talking about Luther and and he and they didn't know that though it's how its packaged as Wow just like newspapers if newspapers do say some of you do and they go oh what a great guy for doing this right the comments are great if they say what an idiot for doing the same thing the comments are terrible so they they sort of taint your or um you know they set out the the stall for how you're meant to be perceived yeah and that's what's dangerous whereas here you control your own labor and that's the advice I've kept on in any walk of life if you can own your own labor and do it on your terms you'll be happier even whether you make more or get more views or whatever if it's your thing it's it makes you ten times more happier I think that and I think happiness is the only aim whatever you're doing people try and take that shortcut to happiness and get it wrong but if they thought about it why am I doing this what is to be happy and so if you don't need to do this to be happy if my doing this makes you happy then fine but don't work out what you think and make you happy just go cut out the middleman and be happy has there ever been a project where you you are writing it but you have had to take certain boxes and you've kind of taken your creativity somewhere where you didn't want to go and e an extras but like you know no outside outside the sort of laws of the land and broadcast laws no I've never I've never done that but you you have to go within the guidance you can't just go mental on you know daytime TV yeah and you go well what's up with swearing well it's not the second is that even swear if you want but you'll be be kicked off and there's no there's no victory in going on this morning and going come it's like you get you do it once sure you know but that's not leaves catch yeah but so no I try and but I like I like constraints I like working within the rules because it gives me a how far can I go because if you can do anything well there's no such thing as cutting edge you're bound you if you do it anything no one cares right so I like working within those that that framework you know even if I play a game I go what are the rules and I want to go how can I beat the system so I like there being a system for me to beat that makes sense with with right and stand up I know I came and saw your show in Manchester and obviously you mentioned about didn't even say how good it was and they go up saw your show and I go oh thanks and I think they have it simple they like something like yeah they could go is off I go cheers anyway you mentioned in the show about Jane sometimes getting a bit worried with your new material and something like looking over it and stuff and yeah how she ever actually made you take a joke out or made you change a joke in fear of no I do one things buyer because I think this okay yeah and um you know and she might say oh no we're usually worried we're not usually worried about breaking the law or saying something that um I don't really believe we're you the only thing that stopped me doing some it is really hurting someone's feelings who doesn't deserve it so if I'm going after pretension pomposity someone's behavior whatever that's fine whereas I try and not to go after things that people can't help yes oh I don't do I don't do racist jokes or sexist jokes or homophobic jokes or that's not to say I don't talk about race sex homophobe I do I talk about that but there's a difference is what side you come down on and it's not the subject of a joke account it's the target but what I don't go don't laugh with someone's bereavement I don't I don't find it funny personal even if there's a great joke out there I think I don't go there because they don't deserve that no so I like I sort of like my targets to be fair yes and that's not to do with being popular because you say things that you mean and that are safe that still make you unpopular um you know some people are offended by equality you know so doesn't pander to that going on there what your basis have going for someone who's a fair target I wanted to know your opinion on the backlash James Corden got about Weinstein because obviously Weinstein deserves any kind of criticism yeah but then he had such a bad backlash from the joke was it me I want to know if it was because it was a [ __ ] joke it was it was [ __ ] what it was it was you know if you can go after contentious issues but they better be good you better be on the right side and you better be clear and to a certain extent it better be the right time as well because you've got you've got to be very confident if you're dealing with anything to boo or contentious you you you've got to put the working I don't just go out there and try and ruin people's lives or undermine the moral fabric of America though jokes are thought out and that's why I can stand by them because you know it doesn't mean people might they still might get the wrong end of the stick but I've done my best it's not someone not getting my joke isn't my fault yeah because I posted a tweet last night and you I think you've you you really know about offense in context quite a lot and I I have to agree with everything you say and that's why I look up to you as a comedian but I posted something on Twitter last night it wasn't so much a joke but just more of a statement and people got offended by it and said that was and I'm happy to be proven wrong here but people said that I was taking the piss out of suicide I said about beauty but sometimes call themselves social media influencers and I think it's a very arrogant way to say oh there's so many different words you can say so I just posted a kind of semi joke that said if you refer to yourself as a social-media influencer in a way you're right because you're influencing me to take up heroin or suicide by doing that and somebody said that that was taking the piss out of suicide then I made the reference that if you tell your mum that her cooking is so bad it makes you feel sick you're not taking the piss out of vomit I mean that is fair enough yeah you're using a very dark simile yeah to exaggerate your point that's what comedy usually is exaggeration yeah so when you save something like oh my god I was starving there they don't mean you literally starving it's nice it's a dark that's a very dark thing to say you're not starving there are people that starving to go okay you know I didn't so yet no you you can have quite dark things too less dark things because that's what that's what poetry is that's what an analogy is is it's um it's exaggerating somewhat to get your point of us so no there's no way you were you're making fun of suicide then you you may be using it in a trivial sense and you make people you know remind them of bad things they've done to them but again that's not quite your your problem because everything reminds people of things if basically it's bad things happen to people yeah and that's not our fault yeah I don't want to rub salt in the wound or you know like I can do a joke about a very dark thing and someone in the audience it might have happened to them I didn't know that if I went out and said hands up who's that something really ha if that's different yeah you know that that's a very different thing yeah and but I think that's it that's a classic example of someone getting offended because they've mistaken that the subject of a joke with the actual target the target was not that subject the subject was you being so annoyed pretentious in YouTube is it I think I think that's clear yeah and I remember when I was on Twitter I did a joke and if one person was offended I delete it and I think oh that's not why I'm in yeah and I think we rolled on though and then people go the rest of us got it the rest so you've also got a duty to the in terms of people who get it yeah if you if you cut every joke that might offend someone there are no jokes in the world yeah literally someone why'd the chicken cross the road and make my chicken died last night I'm a vegan yes so so you do your best but dr. James Gordon and I think he bounced out in a sort of light entertainment way and then tried to do you know taboo crunching things it wasn't quite him the jokes weren't quite up to scratch [ __ ] applause yeah there wasn't a real there wasn't a real Joe it's like you know I deal in those dark subjects all the time but I want to say don't try this at home do you not I mean because there is a skill to it and and I do feel a responsibility I'm not one of these people they're things you know comedy is your conscience taking a day off my conscience never takes a day off I can justify every joke and and I probably I'd probably talk about it too much and defend it too much I just go whatever but I don't want people to think that I want people to go oh it was a joke cuz I don't do that either I don't know it was a joke it's a joke and this is why it's all right I think that's what you must be able to be able to say at the end of the day if you would have said those same jokes that cool do you think you can get away with more because you're a slightly edgier comic I think well I think people you could certainly say that when it's a closed Club like people are coming to my gigs I have no right to say I didn't know he'd talk about AIDS and famine and cancer you should know and two it's not necessarily a bad thing I even in this show now I say you know a joke about a bad thing isn't as bad as the bad thing it's not even necessarily condoning the bad thing it could be auntie the bad thing it depends on the actual joke yeah and but I don't I don't rely on them going everyone knows who he is and he's joking I still think that the joke has an afterlife because taken out of context that joke still gotta stand up for itself and it often doesn't you know any one line in this current show would be horrendous out of context yeah but in context everyone there knows the build-up knows why I'm saying it they've got the backstory they've been taking on a journey it's like if you if you went out and shout into a punch line to summer I don't get it me therefore the whole joke and sometimes the lead-up to the joke and and I think I think the problem was if you'd really do dearly to boost something it's got to be good and you've got to be on the right side yeah so it's a skill you know it is a skill I think people think that you just go out there and you shout things but as I work on a job or a routine for months yes you know longer than a journalist takes to say how terrible it was you know they've taken a few minutes to look at this Chokin it well I've been this is this is bulletproof this gag and so and you have got to be bulletproof because for when it is taken out of context you feel that because the world that were in now 2017 is much different so say when the office was released it is different wood do you think this it's almost impossible to say but do you think if the office was released now would it be would it be perceived much differently no joke stay in there well no it's not that it'd be you know people haven't changed that much but how people pounded the people have changed so it would be the same you know cross section of humanity watching this and either getting it or not on it but in those days I wasn't scared of taking a complaint and telling them why they were wrong now if the BBC of someone gets complained that closed it down the other complain like me on Twitter in the early days words you should be able to stand up so I said well no I'll tell you why this is okay and some people just want to be heard like I work doing my real job and you know one of the things I do was like customer care training and all that it's part of my job and some people complain and although what did you do was call them back and they've you'd say oh sorry about that did that and I go oh thanks for calling yeah don't worry about it I think people just want to think that they're they're listened to and they're taken seriously and you know they've had a long time of you know if you've ended life of not having that done you want to make a difference that's what heckler is that's what a troll is just that's what I want their moment they want their moment that's why people join terrible awful offensive fringe group because they think well I'm something now yeah and they still making the news well you get dressed as Hitler got you've made the news thank you good you know there's no difference now between Fame and infamy people have thought they just that cavemen used to blow word on their hand and leave their print I was here yeah and that's what all this is that's what people would wanna go I was here yeah and they just want to be part of the cause of web they want to think they made a difference did you get many hecklers on a humanity tour I think I I think I got one really why do you really react or do you just know I try and ignore it but um this guy was persistent and what was he showing something oh it was really okay it was really awkward cuz I do a bit about why I don't have kids right and it's really it's really crazy you know about it I look at the reason of kids and it gets more and more weird and terrible and the fencer and and I started to thing about navigate and and I don't get hecklers at all I think I've created an environment where they don't they don't bother ya and they're there to listen it's a show and is it's a thoughtful show and he went the other way through what he went it's a tragic waste of talent I went shut the [ __ ] up you [ __ ] right all right no I checked the note shut that and all the Claudia's Clapton laugh cuz he always gonna win right he was [ __ ] it Oh God and I was thinking about it and I was thinking I'm doing the routine and I was thinking I'll [ __ ] my news being nice oh maybe he was going oh it's a waste because I like you and you should have a kid where and and they started preying on my mind so now I feel like a [ __ ] [ __ ] but I've shouted shut up a row and I went with the one either brighten it up doing I said sorry Mike did you mean that he went yeah that's what I meant I'm so sorry good right yeah oh it but still don't even interrupt to be nice good it's the end those good time sitting there going on I really enjoyed the show and I said to man I think so I even even though he enjoyed the show and annoyed me and ruin my flow I still thought oh god maybe was be nice yeah so I'm very conscious of that and that's the nearer the punchline the more true and the joke yeah shut the [ __ ] up basically yeah the [ __ ] up um but I still think it has to be before snow you know I think if someone sort of shown something we love you Ricki die cancer you know it's to really I saw you in Cambridge great show and when I saw you there's a woman next to us who's like I think some people put the laughs on because they want you to reference it there's like alum or no no one laughs again again people want to go though they always want you to go who's got that way yeah I do try and ignore anyone who's so attention-seeking I do on Twitter as well attention-seeking is the most annoying thing they can say awful things right and if they mean it that doesn't annoy me as much as if they that again early days someone say something after me I'd salmon and they go ah what would you rather be thought I was a complete [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah they're not notice how it's exact same thing why of the world people would rather be known as a [ __ ] idiot they're not known at all and I don't know when that happened maybe it's always been around but now we can watch you know every toilet wall in the world at once oh yeah and we see it more same as complaints you know 20 years ago if you saw somebody didn't like a Lucy get our pen okay we'll go dear BBC but now you can fire sweet and that makes the news particularly if you're a famous person tweets make the [ __ ] news how mad is that most what I do what this is an opinion so I go well so-and-so didn't like it and why we why is he on the news not liking a film or something Scranton 143 the new spider-man was a bit boring the [ __ ] news there is now someone started actually just go back to humanity for a second what was one city one place that obviously you've got the big ones like Manchester London LA was there one that you didn't particularly expect to be is giving as an audience one out all all great and they got better and better probably because the show gets better and better when you get better and better and oh god Belfast was great yeah they loved the IRA and I was nervous and I went and they laughed more cuz they famous Dublin Dublin was great Dublin was amazing um Manchester yeah they've all been great I'm a big surprise oh I'm I'm usually worried about the big arenas yeah I think it's not really the place for comedy you know you I love that theater by but yeah Dublin proved me wrong first of all that was like 10,000 and then I did Copenhagen you're worried about the language baring that and that was like 13,000 and they were amazing that just they got everything I mean the screens almost make it slightly more intimate in a way and the sound so much better these days it's not like playing an aircraft hangar they've got yeah so I worry about like you're worried about a day of the week I don't like playing weekends in England because you're not drinking cold two o'clock I don't want people to go along because I'm on the telly and they can have a drink yeah I don't want that I want me to go along and treat it like a theatre show and they want to yeah get some out of it so you know I sort of play Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and in England and then I don't worry so much around the world yeah I think lesser comedian I don't think you can play them but like a lesser comedian might have the opposite view on that they want them weekend gigs what I do what the video because they're easy to sell okay they're easy to sell yeah I make it twice as hard for myself selling out oh yeah I will tell by not you know doing weekend gigs but but I you know I'd rather the thing is I'd rather do four Wembley's right everyone was there they loved it they can't believe their luck than five Wembley's and all the people on that Saturday night were going because they liked a bit of me in the Muppets and they could have a drink with it you know I mean I know or they took along there I don't want that yeah I don't I don't you know I know how how many tickets do you really want to sell you know I mean I can always go back and go back next Thursday they want to come they can come so you don't want to prize people out of there yeah you want people you see uh-uh I do gigs and it goes on sale they sell out in a minute if I put another gig on and it sells out in an hour right if I put it on if I think well the next one to take a two days I think well that's getting people that aren't really fans a chance to come along and there and I don't and I don't do it yeah you know so I've got other things to do it's not my it's not my only source of income you know so I don't have to and also because I can play around the world I don't have to prize out every single person in Britain Britain's like a third of my output because I can I'm luckily I can play everywhere in the world is that your favorite thing to do it is now yeah it is my favorite things to be my third or fourth favourite thing to do I always thought of myself as like a writer-director performer and I thought that stand up some I should do it like I loved you know that and um and this last tour it is the favourite my favourite thing I do is that not because if you've got your fingers in all these different pies that's the last pie you a I mean is it hard not always there's no there's lots of reasons why I think this is my favorite thing yeah it's my favourite talks I think my best show yeah I think it's my best show because I approached it differently I post like a real stand up my first sort of four tours I sort of wrote and I'm practicing I'm got good it was you know but this when I walked out on the stage with a few things on the back of my hand and I you know I it was really organic I think it was the best because I'm older yeah and that sounds odd but I think it does take you 15 years to be a good stand-up and finally I think I've got there I've got a voice I'm you know it's being honest I've got nothing to prove I think it's my favorite because people know me now they've known me 15 years so I can get away with more and they just like amongst mates when you do those sort of judgement makes no go sorry I don't really mean that yeah I know you don't really mean that yeah so they know me yeah but I think what hit me is the privilege the privilege that I can say anything I want right and and there's nothing anybody about it and and with that comes a responsibility and I hope I've taken that on um but it's because and the world changed in the seven years that it lasted it there does seem to be there seems to be a bigger responsibility for comedians these days to tell the truth because of all the [ __ ] Drive Donald Trump absolute [ __ ] it's it's unbelievable this post truth era you know it's I think everyone has the responsibility now it's like it's almost like it's made us kids grow up we're idiots we want the world to be lovely so we can run around and be a [ __ ] idiot but when the people in charge are acting more like a [ __ ] child than you are you've got to step up to the plate yeah do you not I mean yeah if your parents aren't responsible you better be responsible yeah you see I'm saying yeah and I sort of really I feel that now nowadays and but you know that the vote is split and I do I do try and keep politics out of comedy as much as I can that's my own personal opinion and I'm you know myself on Twitter and in places like that you know I will say what I think but when you're if you're relying on a round of applause from an audience that just agree with you that loses something comedic Lee so I don't go explicitly party political I talk about things like ego and and truth and nonsense and so I do it that way but um you know I don't think I name any politicians in human even though I talk about the politics of the day and what's different and why the world's getting worse so I you know it's not good I'm scared of offending people or going along so it's just that I think my first real commitment is to comedy I'm charging them to see comedy yeah otherwise it's a lecture yeah and they well thanks very much man but we wanted a laugh you know yeah and there's so many people making these sort of Trump jokes and stuff like that now it's kind of an easy target I find if ever I tweet anything negatively about Trump I get a lot of people go well you know and that's true and I mean to a certain degree I think that it's beyond a joke there's something to be said yeah I don't want to joke about it yeah he's getting serious yeah it was weird because at the start was funny it was funny and now it's kind of like oh [ __ ] he's retweeting that are we doing that okay it's been a year no because even at the beginning when I was sort of like joked about it yeah I'm watching from afar there were people going well we were in America dude yeah yeah these people losing their jobs and being hated by their neighbor because of what someone said about it's like so it is serious Mencius it's mental yeah Allison see you saying about well pushing the boundaries being edgier and nowadays with the culture as well I think people have changed since you started doing stand-up to now and I think people are more easily offended or like so dependent or a bit more is it easier being edgy no but then do you think people are easily offended now is it just like you said people have got Twitter so they'll let you know now back in the day when people and they know that they can be heard now people can frighten people they can go I'm offended and there's someone to get some of the things that we'd better do something yeah you know I think they they use it to get their own way they can they know that someone will crumble or they can somewhat close down and what you want is for those people in charge to go well we're not going to crumble to that because everyone's different that was what there opinion and you know I like I like that saying that the the only valid form of censorship is people's right not to listen and that's what we're talking about art or Jones we're not talking about real life it's not your right to that's the other thing people mistake that I go you know you can you can say what you want oh yeah what like Hitler did when it wasn't as we said was it it was the [ __ ] he did if he just said it this is a Christmas special somehow so what about you a few festive question what's a traditional day like for you and Jane at Christmas time Christmas it really is it is a day off for me am i screwed oh god I've got I'm enjoying myself no it really is I've always loved Christmas and typical day we work work up to it and you know we decorate the house and we have a little soiree just before with friends and and then a day is I wake up we open our presents it's great just like big in my house yeah our presents a little drink I mean that is the only day that you can't have a little gin and tonic at our town yeah it used to be watching our lemons go around and give sick kids presents now I level that oh I love all that really get involved oh I love crying after ten into a gin that's a lovely start and then it's all like working the way up to the you know the two o'clock feast yeah best of Top of the Pops that's back now isn't it yeah in the olden days I love this that now I'm going is that I really underground is that Rihanna still love it though do you diets changed me what's more you're having for Christmas dinner tofurkey no I mean everything else is the same you know exactly lovely veg and you know the past dips and the caramelized potassium so the one bright Oh whether it's crispy and the chewy either while on pretzels red sauce yeah good yeah bit of gravy veggie gravies not as thick yeah yeah [ __ ] thing baby oh my girlfriend's mom has the fits like water it's like brown water is that it I just love it be a solid and then it's like at the end is like a mush that you do scrape up yeah even without real meat and no even without the carcasses of the Christmas dinner can still be a joy wasn't [ __ ] as present you've ever received or given I still get chilled down my spine when I think of the worst gift I've ever given well I was too old to give a [ __ ] gift you know we've got older brother and sisters yeah they give you good gifts because they're working and you're a kid you can get over [ __ ] but I remember when I was 14 I think my sister got me a now my one-eared and a bird table and a science thing and I got her a big bottle of shampoo blondest and it was like oh cheese and I just and it hit me I'll grant you I'll do that I'm too old that's cool my name want me a pillow once and all all our cousins got pillows with stuff on they liked so I got a car I don't no idea why I've never been into cars I've got car and it's a beat on the registration plate said Jake great that's brilliant it's not like some man I never say I see it all the time I was about seven or eight my auntie Edna so when was this so this was like 1968 69 early days so fiber was a good presence gave me a fiver right right and in a card right and like mine went oh wow what you need about Edna and I said four quid she went you can't give a four quid oh my so when you can spend four quid on earthquake I thought I see the perfect she's the perfect present we've both given each other a good [ __ ] present they're all quid come on on these four quid and on the worst present I was thinking this thing I used to do I supposed to withdraw the cards but a lot of effort in drawing them just likes to watch sport and sit there needs to smoke a nice draw a picture of the [ __ ] packet everyone used to get my dad you know our founders of old old burn you know tobacco things you buy anyway but sex saving money you myself giving like like Bob it's like really odd it's like that is like a token although now if you want to get me a gift right you can't go wrong with something like a bottle of wine or a bottle of whiskey I'll drink it eventually yeah you know it's a nice gift yes what little the worst presence I think right there's arrogant presence like it's more about them there you go you like fly fish and I got [ __ ] like fly fishing or stressful presents where's like um um ten lessons skydiving yeah [ __ ] me my girlfriend bought me ten skiing lessons and I've never been skiing and I said thoughtful present and I like it I've not I've still not being I know but I see it so it's not so bad then but when it's exactly when they go on that ski thing yeah like her mom really likes her type Tokyo - the guy at the guy that won Britain's Got Talent he's a pianist and I said two hours I'll get you tickets to go see him and she's I not going to London because of Isis I remember I was 18 the first time I was going abroad which was like I've got a temporary passport and I was going to France so a day right and my mum said um what you going to France for this part already knew Encino but that is it there is a mentality you know I think particularly Brits in American think they think there's no there's no point you don't need to see the world you got we've got everything we need Bobbo go out nowadays a card oh and Netflix no I never in fact lose the legs I don't need these sell the legs towards a Carlo Netflix I just remember this really sweet story that my sister did one Christmas we was I was just old enough to know that Santa wasn't real and she was just young enough to still believe in it so my dad was like okay go upstairs go in her room and then I'm gonna be leaving for the sack of stuff and I'll go into the night and dress obviously dressed as Santa and so I woke my sister I look out the window so she got up she looked out the window and my dad was going off with all this stuff and she just turned to me and when Santa's got the same trainers as that and then obviously because with that but Dad smokes weed okay dad did Oh dad smokes weed and my sister is at school one day and he calls weed his puff and she was shooters school and the teachers blowing up things below and she just had to teach in terms of a system when a parent was [ __ ] look at that yeah that's for sure it's bricky we're gonna finish on some Twitter questions go on and a quick word association game okay so we could give you one word obviously what you are the pressure yeah there's [ __ ] pressure so it was really fun I'm gonna ponder I'm gonna go what do you mean so let's go for the the office one word sorry go wait wait go one word to describe the office cringy Golden Globes fun Trump glorious Slough great so great right okay bloggers Susie astok I think only 2018 the future okay so we've got a few Twitter questions from people and that'll be it that we it so mark West would you rather live off of a diet consisting of only pork pies or Scotch eggs the hard-hitting questions you don't eat neither now but why no well I suppose I'd have to go for the Scotch eggs so I could take the meat off and eat the egg I suppose as you say in truth now I think so if I what if if I wasn't what's nicer if I wasn't yeah no morals yeah we're in a world now where you I think it was still with a scotch egg whatever because the pork pie you open the port but first of all the crust on the pork it's not like pastry it's like concrete yes harder do you know I mean either that that thing that people like without jelly on the inside I always took that off you really let that settle a bit of melting apparent oh really in temperature you leave it there then it so it keeps it more and then what what the means is rise you over the you should eat a pork pie without cutting open with your eyes shut because when you look and you go well what animals gray on the inside this pig was from slam soup all says if you were on your deathbed I love this question and could muster up the energy for one last action but it had to be one of the following would you have a wank or would you just shoot up some heroin what you go for you've got about half an hour left you've only got energy to do one of those things I'm assuming I hope and I'm a very I'm very old Yeah right well then I think it's got to be the heroin yeah just a sinkers if I'm sort of 87 with what they're like now at 87 honestly there'd be like a cross between silly putty honestly it'll be [ __ ] like it would be the stuff that goes into a pork pie honestly it would look like stretch now Ranson awful the last [ __ ] turkeyneck in the butcher shop and I'll be trying to manipulate be it'd be falling apart in my hands so no 87 mean masturbating is out of the question thanks for your question there was another one I think we'll finish on that someone wanted to know if we could take an Oakley bass style pic together could we easy yeah well same chair I think if that you've got on there yeah unless actually a chair is good because it can really screw sure yeah remember when bail on this I was talking about dig the Taylor [ __ ] Sega locked oh yeah I know yeah again from just for being fat and these that the organs were already in my throat lost a kidney okay now yeah crumbs just Parkinson you are looking but you're on you could be any deaf magic be whoever you want you're looking back on your career in your life what was the one moment in which you thought yeah I've made it has it happened yet do you need something else to happen or is there one how do you define it do was sort of be happy and do what I want and I've always done that even if that was you know mucking around at school and or then thinking I've got to get my grades because I want to go to university and then joining a band at university and then just I know always I don't know that I think you could you most people can be happy they just don't realize they can when I had no money because I wanted to be a rock star and I was struggling I though I was happy because I was trying to be a rock star with no money you know I mean yeah I was happy yeah it wasn't it's about the journey I don't miss ever about the the anger you don't know when it's finished is that why you continue to do more and more so you don't have to I wake up every day and I decide what am I going to do today yeah you know outside you know responsibility paying your taxes and going to the dentist right yeah um I I just think we're only here for I know nothing if we think the universe is like thirteen point four billion years old yes 4.6 billion years old you know we are a blip you know where we were with trillions to one shot that we're here at all and we're not going to exist ever again after so you've got you just got to enjoy yourself and not hurt anyone yeah and I think then you can't have regrets you know I don't know would be I can't imagine is there one thing that is a lovely scent it's a great way to finish I mean I suppose deciding if there's one big thing that you know it was deciding to be a comedian yeah I'm it made redundant from XFM in like 1998 and I thought I'm gonna do this for a living I remember waking up thinking I'm a comedian now and I'm gonna do what do I do and that was lovely because that felt nothing like a big change but a big second chance you know I never thought at 18 I'd make my big mover 30 angle whatever it was do you not I mean yeah and I'd say it's never too late that's that would be my regrets all the things I thought that were too late no no point in learning a language be fluid now and on the 28th I thought I load my drums aren't that carnotaur I'd be [ __ ] amazing now no yeah it's never it is never too late yeah the only thing it's ever to like to do is when you're lying in bed 97 it's too late to muster there we go this is a very Christmas special of the job Podcast Tom Norris thank you very much everyone there's a real Home Show there we go it's been a pleasure thank you very much I'm off for a Squatch oh yeah

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Id: A8mh_oNNEJw

Length: 57min 28sec (3448 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 12 2017