NSFW Facts Learned At An Embarrassingly Late Age (r/AskReddit)

a slash asked ridet what NSFW fact did you learn at an embarrassingly late age my brother went the first 22 years of his life thinking that every woman in the entire world got their period during the last week of the month like some kind of demonic clockwork bloody hell so dumb anyone with even a rudimentary education knows it occurs alongside the full moon something to do with the tides right cramps come in blood goes out can't explain that that tampon stay inside the woman I thought they went in the bathroom popped one in and it soaked Apple the blood then they removed it and were good for a few hours that would be so much more convenient than the sometimes painful way they actually work I remember reading a story on our / bad woman's anatomy about a boss who was angry women were taking time out of their day to change pads or tampons he thought that it was like urination you felt the urge and released it at your convenience if only it worked that way OMG if only my fee and kay thought they stayed in for the whole week he was confused why we had to buy so many that would also be more convenient but it would probably also kill me what a wet dream 'yes I remember in school being taught but not knowing what it was I even remember answering the question on a sec sir Ted wet dreams are also referred to as nocturnal emissions blah blah blah but I had no idea what they were talking about I always thought a wet dream meant you peed yourself oh you mean sheet sneezes happens when you don't make thick in the warm today I learned wet dream doesn't mean peed yourself I'm 19 felis not me but an old roommate of mine he comes in and asks me if my husband and I were gonna have sex that night I told him probably not because my husband got home late he then asks me if his girlfriend can have one of my birth control pills because they didn't have any condoms I told him no because I have to take it he asks me why because I said my husband and I weren't gonna do anything I told him you have to take it at the same time every day for it to work he looked at me like an idiot and that was the day I had to explain birth control to my 23 year old roommate this is the first one I'm currently guilty of not knowing guess I got confused with morning-after pills I'm an RN and I told the patient I needed her to put a tampon in before he collected her urine sample because she had the journal bleeding she looked at me like I was an absolute idiot and said you can't do that if you put the tampon in how can the pee get out mind you this was a 25 year old woman who also had two daughters it took about ten minutes of explaining for her to understand that you don't pee out of your vagina I still don't think she believed me my male housemate in college who was 21 at the time and not a virgin totally didn't believe me when conversation led to my telling him that girls don't pee out of the same hole the penis goes in he had to go down to his room and google it and then we never spoke of it again was in a patient care tech class years ago and a girl was going on about how she doesn't understand why people cry over kidney stones because my baby's done came out of there and they're way bigger than a little stone she thought six period blood babies and Pele happened in the same tube edit she did not advance very far in this class women wiped themselves with TP after going P was in my mid-twenties when I found that out I hope you're a guy I hope I am too that's all right I was married by the time I found out guys didn't wipe off to going P what did you think we use all that TP for origami the female origami is a myth I had to explain sex ed to my college roommate who was having sex with the 40-year old pizza delivery guy unprotected I had to explain pregnancy birth control the process everything she thought I was crazy how did she think babies were made when a mommy and daddy loves each other very much a stork brings a baby in a basket she must have thought she was going to be fine since he delivers pizzas instead of babies not me but I had a friend who basically explained that he didn't know that if you had a chyna you still had a urethra I think he was in high school before he learned otherwise he just thought that the labia essentially acted as flood gates and when you needed to pee they would open like a trapdoor and your urine would just fall out I still laugh about this I had a friend who thought tampons worked in a similar way like a plug for your period and then you would just let it all out now menstrual cups there's more than one size of condom a proud micro tiny user myself micro tiny a little knob will do yamp my issue with this is how do you figure out what size is best first you gotta buy the whole pack and home it fits there should be a sample pack you can buy with all the sizes so you can see edit thanks for all the advice but I don't have a penis I was just kind of wondering how you guys figured it out Lal I guess I didn't make that clear enough find a store with good service lay it on the table and ask them to assist you find a store with good service lay it on the table and ask them to assist you I was pretty rudely escorted from Toys R Us when the sales associate refused to help me with this no wonder they're going out of business I had to break it to my 27 year old friend that she doesn't pee from her [ __ ] not with that attitude she doesn't I knew a 25 year old bar back that argued with me about this his words if you don't pee out of the clitoris then what is it for all I could think of was all the poor women who had ever had sex with this man who didn't know what a clitoris was that being circumcised didn't mean the head of your dick gets chopped off I was too old when I found that out at 18 years old I had no [ __ ] clue that balls just moved on their own i sat and stared at his bowel sack for a good 10 minutes just in absolute awe I felt like I was tripping on acid the skin moved up and down swirled around turned to the left I have never had my mind more blown than that moment of watching balls move around for the first time edit goddamnit guys my highest comment is about balls I thought this was a known fact that the skin can just move right for your eyes fascinating is it not babe take off your pants for a sec no I just want to watch your personal lava lamp laters have three holes in their bottom half I don't know why but this one hit me the hardest back in middle school a friend would argue that girls peed out of their butthole and the I argued that it was out of their vagina the argument didn't really go anywhere because neither of us had any real proof my friend told me he used to think girls peed from their buttholes and he said when he first remembered getting diarrhea he thought he was turning into a girl apparently Netflix and chill has a slang meaning I didn't know it had while getting my hair cut the other day by a twenty-something hair stylist the conversation turned to what we were doing that weekend not having a lot going on that evening I told her I wasn't doing much she said the same she said she was just going to sit at home that evening and relax so I said Oh Netflix and chill the look on her face told me immediately I had put my foot in my mouth I simply smiled at her innocently after a few awkward moments she said you don't know what that means do you I confessed that I didn't like trying to explain something to her clueless grandfather she made me aware of the subtext meaning so that was an uncomfortable haircut my 32 year old wife learned this one a couple months ago after an embarrassing Facebook post that both of our families saw even our parents knew what it meant Oh God so this was not something I should have told my 14-year male cousin that we should do next weekend when he is staying at my house while his parents are out of town I'm a 30 yo male law he kind of looked at me funny and said maybe law for whatever reason I grew up thinking that men were supposed to have three testicles I was a 13 year old boy before learning the truth I thought I was deformed or maybe my third ball just hadn't developed yet somehow I'm not really sure what I was thinking I just remember the absolute embarrassment I felt when one of my friends found out about this misunderstanding dr. evil also had me thinking that you were supposed to have three testicles I remember having a dream that mini-me saw me naked and started laughing at me because I only had two balls that there's movement involved in piff sex rather than just insertion and laying there hahaaa back in middle school I used to think sex meant touching the penis to the vagina the thought of insertion or in out motion hadn't even occurred to me it wasn't until seventh or eighth grade I learned how sex works we had our biology class and learned about the sperm and the egg then I went up to my friend after class and asked so I get the sperm and the egg thing but how does the sperm even get to the egg in the first place he just laughed like he thought it was a joke and didn't answer me so I did what any young boy would do and discovered internet porn I had a general idea about sex from a very young age but didn't officially understand the mechanics of intercourse until I was a young teen after I asked embarrassingly loud in class what a boner was I knew what sex was from a fairly young age but didn't know that boners were a thing so I was so confused as to how a penis would get in there like do you have to squish it in I used to worry I'd get pregnant when I masturbated I'm a guy [ __ ] is supposed to leak out of a woman's vagina after sex if she's walking around I never really thought of it until my last girlfriend mentioned it suggesting it was weird then I read about it on here someone mentioning that it's normal we broke up afterwards so she still does know I had a gf who told me she loved walking around all day with come slowly oozing out of her still not entirely sure if it was a physical feeling or a psychological thing law edit way to go read it my highest rated comment ever is about my car moving out of my girlfriend's [ __ ] you sick [ __ ] I mean it's sexy and then it stops and you're good but holy [ __ ] when you sneeze later in the day when I was in high school my parents my best friend and I were going somewhere parents in the front seat me and my buddy in the back while we were driving my folks were listening to some old is on the radio there was an interview with the lead singer of question mark and the Tyrians in the interview he said the song 96 tears was originally called 69 tears but they changed the name because they knew the song wouldn't get any airplay with the original title me I don't understand why it wouldn't get played on the radio 9669 they are just numbers awkward pause my best friend leaned into the front seat and said mr and amp mrs. groovy brand I've got this one later that day he explained what I had just asked my parents that's rough related story when I was younger I made a sixty-nine joke in front of my parents assuming they didn't know what it was they didn't I died inside I very recently discovered that the clitoris is outside of the vagina my first girlfriend never learned where it was so I didn't think anything of it my current girlfriend when we started having sex she said don't forget that [ __ ] and I went what the clitoris is outside the vagina but the majority of it is actually internal the outside part the glans is just the easiest to access I'm 32 and just learned this when I was a sophomore in high school I was awkward and regularly picked on I thought I was super cool wearing a layer looks hair gel to style my hair with the duck but the stuff often dried and peeled and left wide chunks in the hair if you touched it too much so at the lunch table this girl goes it looks like you have jizz in your hair and I didn't know what that word was so I just said yeah I do and then nobody talked to me the rest of the day I've never seen someone fail a QuickTime event in real life before you even had a button you push the wrong one not to touch the head of a guy's dick right after he's orgasmed sorry dude edit I get it some people are into that but this particular fellow wasn't I like being but and smacked having my hair pulled but some women will flip their [ __ ] on you if you just do it out of nowhere don't worry about it I thought being a bottom was when the guy was on the bottom of the girl only realized when someone jokingly asked if I was a power bottom and I said oh yeah they'd never let that one go you see the power of bottom is actually generating power by doing most of the work you can suck and lick anything as long as you wash it off first I used to be grossed out by oral sex because you either literally piss with those organs or come close to it in elementary school a friend and I were talking about what we knew about 6:00 trying to guess what the bases were we both agreed put things in your mouth was the last base because it's so gross so you are not alone

Channel: Rebbit

Views: 203,387

Rating: 4.9249864 out of 5

Keywords: NSFW facts learned at an embarrassingly late age, what NSFW facts did you learn at an embarrassingly late age?, reddit, rebbit reddit, reddit top posts, rebbit, top posts of all time, reddit stories, ask reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, reddit funny, reddit best of all time, reddit facts, reddit embarrassing age facts, ask reddit facts, ask reddit late age, ask reddit embarrasingly, reddit nsfw facts, nsfw embarrasing age

Id: xWk52BtXeuA

Length: 13min 50sec (830 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 19 2019