Noel Miller - STOP CRYING (FULL SPECIAL)

[Music] [Laughter] thank you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] hell yeah appreciate you guys keep that going for yourselves thank you for coming out tonight man it's gonna be a dope night come on thank you so much La for coming out and taking a picture of me for your story and I know you [ __ ] [ __ ] are gonna tune out for the next 59 minutes I also appreciate you guys coming out to the show because I know some of you it's your first time watching stand up uh Make some noise for yourselves yeah it's gonna be a hard show you have to watch the same thing for 59 minutes it's gonna be very difficult Tick Tock has fried everybody you could tell it's in the way you laugh no one laughs normal anymore everyone's just like next but that's it you just wait you're no one has standards anymore I could do I found I could do anything on this stage I could start cooking in the middle of this set you just look at that and be like whoa four eggs at once that's that's bold you idiots cheering you're gonna cook no dude that's your neurodivergence right there in neurodivergent enough times he's like yeah that's the r word man at a point you know I'm back on I'm back on the r word that's what I'm saying I was clean for many years but I'm using again heavy I don't know who's cheering but thank you I guess that first r word back oh my God that thing hit [Applause] now I'm doing a pack of r word a day you know just crushing them man I'm not telling you because I'm about to do the comedian thing and be like everyone should say it I'm just telling you because I want to live in my truth and I also need you to have my back if I slip publicly if I let that go on national TV or something I need you to go right to the comments oh my boy's on a relapse right now Jim he knows he's wrong you can give him a break in the last like year and a half those are the biggest differences with me now uh I'm smoking r word and uh I'm married that's about it ever since Elena and I got married we yeah we always get like we get a lot of questions about marriage people think marriage is super difficult people ask me all the time what's different now [ __ ] nothing we've been together like 11 years nothing's different dude I did have to stop fisting her though you know why well it's because my ring it kept hitting her IUD a solid gold on copper right there that's when that [ __ ] touches I'm [ __ ] the Wi-Fi signal up man [Laughter] a lot of people don't appreciate just how genius the IUD is yeah I mean it's like the perfect shape to kill a kid I think it's the fins you know it works because God killed his son with one okay and the abortion of Jesus is left on man imagine being 33 and your dad wakes up and he's like I changed my mind about you but it brings a village of people to come kill you with stones and slingshots you didn't know that the first IUD was made of wood what abortion got you bent you ain't the hanger shut the [ __ ] up yeah I could say this for sure I can confirm gen Z you guys are the [ __ ] them kids generation hands down yeah yeah I think Epstein had a similar idea on the [ __ ] them kids Spectrum you guys are on opposite sides here he took it more literally but yeah y'all [ __ ] y'all hate babies man it's it's I'm I'm not judging you I think it's you know I really think old people get mad about abortion because they didn't have that option you know some of y'all got a parent like they're very jealous who do you come through and you're like nah we just fried the egg man we're not doing it you like I would have shot you yesterday yeah [Laughter] I [ __ ] with it man you know especially Plan B love Plan B [Applause] [Music] I know it's like a very bold thing to say is a dude because I can't take it but I guess I like it for uh I don't know like a philosophical reason you know sometimes I get high and I get sad that I'm gonna die you know the vibe you're just Chief and like make it go away I don't want to go I don't want to go you know I get sad because I you know I want to be in the future you know I want to see flying cars and stuff like that but then if I'm on the road and I walk past Plan B to CVS I'm reminded like oh no the future's now it's pretty modern living right especially for a lady if you could just wake up you know and you just kind of recall last night you're like oh [ __ ] no let me go handle business yeah you take 50 out of his wallet [Music] and that's not a dig you know he owes you that you know yeah then you take your ass to CVS and you're like all right let me you walk two steps and you go [ __ ] it Twix too you know let me treat myself plus you know I think if you take Plan B you deserve credit you definitely deserve some respect you know you know old people always sit on the Young Generation right especially now it's like ah this generation's solved it's like not really there's some girls in here with more confirmed kills on paper than some Marines okay [Music] [Applause] you see [ __ ] standing outside Costco in an army uniform if you take a plan B you walk right up to him look him in the eyes be like you ever killed a kid before [ __ ] Stolen Valor take that [ __ ] off man Obama used drones to do what I did you know you know it's you taking Plan B uh thank you for your service you know it's always at this point in the show the vibe switches a happier looking at me crazy you know damn bro this is nothing like your YouTube channel yeah you paid already I could say what I want now [Laughter] [Music] she's doing the right thing she's laughing like a normal person the rest of you just glazed over it I took a flight recently that kind of changed my view on 9 11. I was supposed to go to Australia right and then my flight got canceled and then United made me pay seventeen thousand dollars for a new flight yeah right at that moment all I could think was I could blow a [ __ ] plane up I started spiraling at the gate you know I just think it was it Bush or was it just like six brown dudes you know they got their flight canceled yeah they're in Chattanooga Tennessee or to the gate the gate agent was like sorry boys you have to hang out here another night they were like oh tomorrow we ride a dawn I started thinking about 911 like a petty crime like [ __ ] let's take two of these things bro one for each night we had to be here extra and they took them up in the sky and they went whoa what do we do now I was like oh let's go to New York first one hits the first tower on accident the other guys are just kind of dumb they're like whoa [ __ ] hit the other one I don't it's crazy because even I you know no no you don't know what I'm about to say you don't know what I'm about to say was wild as as I say this I know 911 is a distant concept to a lot of you like you don't really know 911 as 9 11. you know it as just like a random but you're just scrolling Twitter and you just saw like vids that go hard and you're like it's just some [ __ ] you've seen you know in between like only fans promotions I'm sure a lot of you know but just in case you don't the big thing about 9 11 was everyone thought Bush did it I thought a lot about this and at this point I wonder you know if Bush did it why didn't he do the American thing and hit JFK all right some of you failed High School let me explain so there's this airport in New York and is named after this president John F Kennedy JFK for short and some bad [ __ ] happened to him this guy Lee Harvey Oswald aimed a gun and shot a [ __ ] airplane through JFK's head you felt the neurodivergence right there how'd they get the airplane and the gun they didn't it's a joke you [ __ ] reap [Applause] all the gamers got blue balled right there it's loving my boys say the r word man let it rip Let It rap sick when my boys say the r word dude you know as wild to me man is I can look into this crowd and I know exactly who's here like to a t you know you know a lot of you've been watching me a long time I was there when your parents were starting their divorce you know you put your put your headphones in Mommy and Daddy are getting loud again and it's me and your phone hey it's your boy now you're all grown up and suicidal you know [Applause] some of you dragged your boyfriends here yeah shout out to the boyfriends that got dragged to this show man appreciate you guys man we got a unique relationship don't we fellas yeah you just know me as the voice that you have sex to sometimes [Applause] they're all Pavlov I'm telling you the longer I talk the harder they're gonna get you know it's gonna be 20 minutes into this show they're just gonna be like babe I'm a [ __ ] pass out I do not have enough penis for all this blood dude shout out to my lesbians I know you're here yeah the rest you have to understand um I have an army of lesbians worldwide man serious anywhere I pull up hoorah they're gonna show up you know at this point I think lesbians still like me because we dress the same right yeah I mean I was walking around New York breaking lesbians next dude I walk by a lesbian and I know she like my pants they always start with the pants but then I know there's like a point they're probably checking me out because you know I'm standing next to Alina you know and from the back you could definitely be convinced [Applause] then I just turn around and ruined the fantasy like what's up they're like oh this is a dude I learned a lot about lesbians just by proximity I've learned as you guys get older the top drawer in your dresser looks more and more like a gun owner's garage you know primary sidearm several attachments well some lesbians have sex it's just a scene out of the kingsman you know [Applause] foreign [Applause] lesbians you guys have a very incorrect concept of average when you ask a lesbian her dick size they just they start with the outside width of their chest like they don't even know the number they're always just like Evan you know even as I say that all the dudes in here shrunk a little bit just yeah seven I don't think that's just fair lesbians get to skip that whole part with their penis where they have to like look in the mirror and love themselves I feel for some of my guys in here that hit you on the way out tonight you know walked out the shower caught a glimpse of your nuts again and just you're a good dude man you deserve love [Applause] and you turn left and you remember your eye level with the towel rack yeah it's horrible there's nothing more emasculating than pulling a towel off at chest level just you feel like a baby it's terrible I don't want to get up here and make it seem like I have a problem with lesbians having huge [ __ ] I'm a little jealous sometimes I think we should really I think we should take dildos out of the free market if I'm being honest you know like if I was president you know my first hundred days you'd be grandfathered in there'd be a grace period you know so there'll be 100 days where the lesbians could like do a run on sex shops you know they'd be running in there like give me 14 of the biggest ones I need all of them they won't take them away from us you know but then on day 101 the government would collect all the remaining dildos and it would turn into a government-issued lottery system you know which means you know a couple things a couple negative things one you're gonna have to come out the closet at like 12. because the waiting list is going to be super long but I think it do something special I think it would make the experience of male puberty it'd be shared you know because then like young straight dudes and lesbians we'd all be in the Huddle you know I wonder how big our penises are going to be you know you know so that lets me to be waiting six eight years just waiting waiting waiting they blow the candles out on his 18th birthday the family's hype hey your pain is my [ __ ] this year to be really praying to God well I hope it's big I hope it's big then one day you know a lesbian will go to her front door yo somebody ordered an umbrella foreign let's [ __ ] go dude yeah [Applause] well either that or they're going to go to the mailbox then you would have the sad task of learning how to be funny thank you you know the craziest thing I've seen a lesbian do at a show I was do I was in Tampa Florida it was a comedy club yeah does your parole officer know you're here check this bitch's ankles I'm in Tampa Florida a comedy club's not very big you know it's like maybe like a little section right here and so I shout out to the room I go yeah where my lesbians at one of them stands up just like that she lifts her hand up and she just starts waving it and screaming like a banshee just [Laughter] I'm looking at her hand I'm kind of bugged out I'm wondering what the [ __ ] are you doing then my eyes kind of focus and I'm able to kind of peer and I realize what she's trying to signal to me she had three acrylics [Applause] [Laughter] you can't see it there's this virgin in the front row asking what that means uh let me explain it to you brother well basically you see this right here this is what they did to JFK they fingered his brain I was watching this cartel video the other week I'm watching this cartel video and I'm thinking to myself we never think about this the other way around like you know a cartel Leader's probably seen a toy review video yeah he's got some trash bags in the shower but the JFK some dude in the head Here Comes his son running in the room [Applause] we're kind of at a weird point in time man we're in a we're at a point where no one is going to get caught looking at porn in the living room you felt that like who makes some noise if you grew up with a family computer [Applause] there's not many of us left man like who up here never a family computer anyone right there bro how old are you man 18. this is an alien as far as I'm concerned man he's like never yeah never caught jerkin on the family computer so what you always have the internet between your hands iPad baby like I don't think you're dumb I think you understand the words family computer but like you don't understand like the psychological you know like the the terror of your back facing the room the whole time you're on that thing man like you never jerked off Barefoot on linoleum is trying to feel the door opening you know somebody walked through that [ __ ] I'm out of here you know he's never gone through this right here [Applause] oh [Applause] what the [ __ ] are you doing [Applause] thank you [Applause] I was playing Neopets I don't know what that is your dad's like pull your shirt up if you're a young woman you know why were you sitting on the computer chair arm like that you slide off um it was a horse game I like a horse game you're talking to some old guy on Club Penguin the whole time [Applause] as soon as you got caught jerking on the family computer it just erased everything you knew you're a whole new person at that point you're like uh life is a privilege took years to erase that feeling for many decades a lot of us were horny and Afraid never just horny you know you contrast that with now bro I bet a lot of young dudes in here you probably woke up today 11 A.M reached over to your bedside table [ __ ] it man PornHub you don't even appreciate noise canceling headphones dude in the in the family Computer World we had computer speakers you never turned those on man porn for us was silent movies okay that's why dudes in their 30s can moan like women so well the whole time we were watching porn we were just doing voice acting you know oh [ __ ] yeah reaching out to some strange lady through the glass you know you sound you [ __ ] you just you never even thought about what's going on there man you never thought about how the atmosphere of the room is so still your mind is so focused and you contrast that with the violence that's happening on your phone [Applause] oh [Applause] [ __ ] by jerking off with your dick facing the door unlocked you're so entitled man it's not just the Young Dudes you know it's the women too but at least when women do it it's cooler you know you know yeah women masturbate it looks like a samurai committing suicide you guys pull your wand out of that velvet case you know [Music] [Applause] oh [Applause] I'm a disgrace to my family standing in a puddle of your own pee or whatever it's a war veter are in two units away from your apartment his hearing aids are picking up the frequency from your vibrator and she's trying to make a sandwich and then the ether is just oh my God the Japanese have come back [Applause] here's the difference between us right generationally if someone walked in on that dude with like the door would open and they just go yo get the [ __ ] out of here you'd be yelling at the person like that's my body get the [ __ ] out but on the family computer when you got caught looking at porn your parent was sit down next to you and there might be some girls kissing on the computer screen and they look at you and go show me where you got this and delete it now you're dragging porn out of the family photo folder to as horny as hell next to your parent you're like do we have to do this together is this they're just sitting there like yeah put in the recycle bin I want to see it I just feel I just feel that that's the reason a lot of you will get robbed scammed bad [ __ ] gonna happen to you because you don't have that paranoia you know you missed out on that crucial life lesson that's why I keep saying to Alina if we have a kid we're not going to give it a phone we're gonna yeah we're bringing back the family computer we're gonna raise them right and we're not going to raise it in our La home no we get a kid get a kid now you never know I might draft you know a lot of prospects out of Korea Africa I mean they're all over man my [ __ ] around to sign a 17 year old you know hey man you got one year otherwise 18. you know but if we you know if we get the Kid [Music] I'll say that if we have a child we're going to raise it in a 1 000 square foot apartment walls yeah and in the middle of the living room 50 000 gaming PC right where the carpet hits the linoleum just split that Center Line just to see if my kid has the gall the [ __ ] entitlement that I would come home to the apartment that I pay rent on and catch my child just strapped into a VR headset doing what it pleases you know I'd run across my apartment so fast and smack my kid in the back of the head boom it'd be horny its ears are ringing oh what's happening I get in its face you [ __ ] you don't pay rent here don't jack off in my living room you know I'm trying to start the trauma you know I pick up the VR headset put it on and be like show me where you got this and delete it I might even get a little hard just to freak it out you know I'm gonna do that because I think well my thinking is if I do that I'll give it the same paranoia that I had you know might make it make better decisions you know fast forward my kids in the movie theater with its future partner partner looks at it in the theater goes yo wanna do some freaky [ __ ] in here my kid will know my kid will look at his partner and go my dad might be here you know [Applause] imagine I do all that and I just give my kid a really weird kink how horny as hell oh no my hook daddy is not coming you know what the [ __ ] I'm not the priest kid calm down oh what we got some proud Catholics in here some Filipinos in here [Applause] Catholic Church 500 000 little boys zero I grew up Catholic I could [ __ ] on it you know what's funny about the Catholic Church fun little you know when priests uh make a mistake you know when they have a little oopsie and they come on some kids face come on some deaf kids face foreign don't tell your parents oh wait I relax I'm not trying to get out of what I just said I know I just said I would punch my kid while it's jerking off in my living room I'm kidding I'm not gonna do that you know I'm joking I'm not gonna punch my kid while it's jerking off you psychos I'm definitely you know I'm not judging you for jerking off crazy because I grew up in the chat room era I have no yeah I have no room to judge you know Chad Romero was a time wasn't it fellas yeah all my boys no in the real world we are 11 year old boys but online 18. I was an 18 year old female yeah and I'd have cyber sex with other 18 year old females that were probably 11 year old boys me and some kids Zach just type in fan fiction to each other yeah and then I suck your [ __ ] yeah [Laughter] then I had the nerve to go to school and call other kids gay you know projecting hard as hell man no you're gay as [ __ ] those were my formative years fingering people over keyboards digitally fingering people and then just getting in arguments with my mother you know it's a tough woman growing up with her was just like living in an Xbox Lobby for 20 years kill yourself [ __ ] yeah well some of you can't relate some of you looking at me crazy what moms don't say that yeah they do come on La I know you've done the CPS huddle up before [Applause] and the CPS huddle up is man EPS has such a strong way of bringing a family together you know your family's having a WWF match in the living room oldest sibling about to go through a table here comes the youngest sibling hey guys I called the cops bro you have no idea what you just did we're all going down for this now your family's in the Huddle what's the story what's our story all five of you are standing in front of a government agent oldest child has a black eye yeah he fell down the stairs your mom's got a cold bag of peas on her knuckles I tried to catch it CPS agent knows you're full of [ __ ] you know all right so all five of you are corroborating that this child fell down the stairs in this one-story home yeah clever kid really smart my mom was tricky you know sometimes chase the kids with a knife hey oh she's like you like Michael Jackson right and you know if I could you know give her some defense I did puberty kind of weird you know I didn't really grow but I pretty much got a regular person voice at like 11. I'm not exaggerating I sounded pretty close to this at 11 or 12. which changes things you know my mom might be chasing me around you know the kitchen island saying something mean you're one of my kids which I don't understand I'm on the other side of that knife with my regular voice you know bro stop you're hurting my feelings chill out she thought she was attacking a grown man my voice is big enough that they could just send me to talk to CPS on my own CPS at the door I opened up my head's by the doorknob yeah we're good you can bounce agent Duffy is confused are you the father my voice is missing my dad's head you know nice guy but he kind of space out a lot and I think you know in those times he'd always muttered to himself about just life and I could always extract information out of him because for those first 30 seconds I think he thought I was just some dude you know one time he took me to school stressed the [ __ ] out like just oh this [ __ ] housing market I'm just in the back for sure what's a housing market foreign housing market was is determined by a lot of factors particularly Market um thank you oh Noel oh when you buy a house uh you'd have to take out a loan and the loan puts you into something called debt and that means you owe the bank a lot of money I'm in the [ __ ] ton of death so much that now this dude's crying in front of my junior high because I asked him a very adult question with a very adult sound and voice but I'm 11. so I look at him and I ask him the only thing I was thinking in that moment I look him right in his earlobe oh so is that why you drive a square car I don't know what a mortgage is bro but everyone keeps making fun of me in there because you got a square car thank you I went to school mad that day man all I could think was my parents are dumb and broke [ __ ] you know pissed dude I went to science class which is a thousand yards there this rabbit kid came running up to me super hype Noel Noel Noel Tommy you've seen the new Jackass movie bro tell me you've seen it tell me you've seen it tell me you've seen it I'm just looking through him while he dances around just nah man I haven't hey real quick do you know what debt is [Music] it changed me forever as a kid that was the weird part about the housing crisis you were like 14 but you knew your parents money it was really weird the older I got the more frustrated I would be you know all I could think was [ __ ] my family's so dumb you know mostly because at times we felt more like roommates than we did family you know like I'd be trying to study Mesopotamia and here goes the couple from unit three you know [Music] I'm trying to study and then Here Comes old boy do you pissing me off always yipping about the mortgage and [ __ ] it's like shut up dude bro I need you to do me a favor I need you to go in that room and [ __ ] talk some sense into her can you do that for me my dad would ask me this and I'd be looking at him with my 411 body propped up in my computer chair [Applause] bet what do you want me to say I puff up my chest and I go down on you know on my father's behalf and I you know I get into it and you have to understand how bold this was because you know my mother tough at times she had a couple phrases that she pull out when [ __ ] got real you know uh that was kill yourself and stop crying which I always kind of found to be redundant but you know I puffing my chest I go down that hallway you know a pound on that door super confident for an 11 year old yo your boy says you're being a [ __ ] [ __ ] that's when things went crazy you know that's when it really went off the rails the door fly open my mother's seeing red you know shut up Noel I'll cut you with a knife I'll cut him too I'll kill you both I just look back at her confused you know [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm sad now dude you said I'm not allowed to cry and I'm definitely not killing myself so what do you want me to do and I gotta get my dad some credit you know you try to break up the trauma by putting me in Christian dance classes we weren't even Christians which by the way I don't know if you've ever been selected for front row in a dance group but when you up there dancing to Jesus is the Lamb and you're competing with a gay Christian kid in the closet that's pressure you just lighten it up over there you got to be on your toes like damn [Applause] [Laughter] you're just looking back at me like pick it up [ __ ] like I'm trying bro I'm trying I remember when I was like you know I was like 20 and Bank of America came to take our house oh shut up I wasn't even sad man the cops came I'm like bro took you long enough get us out of here dude they're broke they have no idea what they're doing in there I just watched them argue about money and I'd be so mad like y'all are some [ __ ] broke boys dude I remember about 20. I kind of looked at my parents and said if neither of you will get the bag here I guess I will you know [Applause] thank you money's cool money is a money's interesting thing dude there's clearly a level like this thing that freaks me out about money there's clearly a level in a bank account where once you cross it you're you very confidently mess around with little kids but I'm saying something crazy up here don't do this to me all Jared had to do was promote Subway that's all he had to do R Kelly had hits he could have left it right there I care man but both of them dudes got the bag and they said now it's time to do what I love sometimes I spin out on this mentally you know I'm like is that why they don't pay teachers a lot of money gotta keep them honest we let one teacher get rich and he [ __ ] it up for everybody man bought that island and it was all downhill from there oh shut the [ __ ] up none of you care about Epstein or anything that happened on that island stop playing it I know you don't because when that Netflix documentary came out I know a lot of you watched that and you had the nerve to take an edible before pressing play those women on your TV given that horrible testimony and then he made him give me a massage yeah [Music] bro you would have been more mad if they said he was kicking dogs on that island I really believe that I think if CNN had a headline Jeffrey Epstein has dog kicking Island yeah everyone who shops organic would have been on the south of Florida building canoes you know crossing the ocean with physical power Mr on that island like D-Day give us the [ __ ] dogs and some asian teenagers would have ran down the beach oh no it's the Nike Factory whoops some people here are some new Air Force Ones [Laughter] I know what I just said I don't make enough money to [ __ ] a kid I don't actually reason that I'm still like a real person because I still think about killing myself ah I think it's a human thought I think that is a feeling that binds us all man that's what yeah that makes us all you know this is that feeling like you just look out at the beach and you think I could just never go to work again I I genuinely believe this I think something that is extremely healthy for your mental health is a Honda Civic [Applause] between Honda Civic but just a shitty car because you know if you wake up with dark thoughts and you climb into a shitty car you may have got up that morning thinking today's the day but then when you drive something where you feel the road the whole time that make your life get me to work get me to work get me get me trying to stop a Honda Civic with some hot brakes on the freeway that shouldn't make you want to be alive quick yeah I really think a shitty car and work friends basically a retail job that's good if you've ever had a retail job that's the most humble you're ever going to be because the other thing is when you have a retail job you again you might wake up you're like today's the day but then you kind of check out for a second and you go nah let me not do that because if I do that Nick's gonna have to cover my shift I'm a [ __ ] up Lauren's vacation that's not cool if I'ma do it let me be an adult let me take PTO within your PTO balance is Jack [ __ ] so you're like I can't even [ __ ] I can't even [ __ ] kill myself I don't have no PTO so you just live in life you know you gotta figure it out which I think is a good place to be you know I miss my Civic for that reason sometimes I'm still on the pandemic commute bedroom to the office which you know is as a treacherous you know he's getting up every morning looking in the mirror Kurt Cobain on the other side I'm not exaggerating I have those days I get up and I'm just looking at me you know looking down the barrel of the gun mentally you know I gotta shake that [ __ ] off and let's get in front of the camera and start talking invest in your best asset yourself online therapy might be for you that's when I really want to kill myself man like oh you [ __ ] sell out what's wrong with you look I know tough topic tough topic but I do think I have the funniest way to do it all right let me try let me try Okay [Applause] okay look imagine I put a video on the internet and it opens on a frame and it's just me holding a piece of paper that says hey man I love you but I'm out no but wait before we could think too hard the camera zooms out and it reveals me standing at the top of them of a thousand stairs a little Finish Line painted at the bottom a couple monster Flags every 20 steps [Applause] before you can think the camera zooms back in on butt ass naked I just wink at you some of you have a sense of humor you start chuckling arrest you are doing what you do now you know just oh man that's [ __ ] up and it is exactly at that moment I would cut to the GoPro footage I break you I break you one minute in I think he moaned right there like group chat peep this [ __ ] look man obligatory disclaimer you know if you have those feelings don't do it you can't say that more than once it's patronizing after that come on bro don't do it you know bro stop [Applause] no I'm serious don't know you're gonna die anyway you know might as well [ __ ] around find out I think we are convinced that we're these complex creatures and we're not humans were very easily amused it just takes one good experience to make our whole personality you know just one you might get some head next year that memory will carry you till 67 you know that story will be your set in every social interaction you know you know I got some head once you just think about it on and on you know I'm serious if you have a parent FaceTime them tonight hey bro what's the best head you ever got you blow some dust off the back of their brain they'd be like [Applause] so you know that's my positive message for the night you know don't give up get some head first okay it's good to see you guys enjoying yourselves [Music] no sometimes uh you know I look at look at 18 right here young boy and I think man when I was 18 I don't know if I could just enjoy myself like that you know he's in there just teasing just act like it's good I was 18 in college man I just had those days I'm you know some of my college didn't help you know I was in the business program I was a [ __ ] you know yeah when my fellow business majors at Stupid People Unite my college was crazy because I'm On One like on one side of the spectrum I'd have people 50 years old you know looking at me in a communications class freaking me out don't make the mistakes that I made ah shut the [ __ ] up I'm 19. and on the other half it was people my age you know coming to school and seventy thousand dollar cars bro we have a quiz today [ __ ] I forgot my Adderall this is [ __ ] I'm gonna fail I can't believe how many study groups I was in with you know people were supposed to be legal adults almost crying to me in a library study room about a you know dude you're Asian or some [ __ ] right like you can help me you can help me on this quiz right my dad said if I don't graduate this year I'm not gonna get the word first construction company I'm really scared I promise you're gonna help me I look these people in their soul and I would just snap you know shut the [ __ ] up [ __ ] stop crying [ __ ] kill yourself [Applause] thank you so much for coming out man wow you're too kind uh that's what you're crazy man you're crazy thank you so much for coming out man I want to see you again let's do it again have a good night I love you bye [Music] [Music] [Music] get it

Channel: Noel Miller

Views: 1,052,239

Keywords: noel miller, tiny meat gang, cody ko, tmg, love island, steamy tweets, suki, fortnite, games, cody and noel, uncle noel, thats cringe, thenoelmiller, noelle miller, comedy, satire, vine, rap, sketch comedy, roast, stand up, weird dm's, tik tok, creepy or cool, out of pocket, out of pocket tik toks, my darkest hour

Id: ScZ9HC5iMzw

Length: 65min 40sec (3940 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 25 2023