Hey guys, I'm here with the latest craze: Neopets. Uh, this game is so hot right now. You pick a Pokémon and then you get to play all these awesome games, like Extreme Potato Counter. One. Two. Three. Uh, gonna have to say 21 on that one. OH Ooh my god, jackpot! I got the - Big money, come on, come on. Big money. LEAH: No, you're gonna - DUNKEY: Come on - LEAH: You're wasting all your points! DUNKEY: Whoa, whoa. How much does this cost to play? LEAH: 250. DUNKEY: Yeah, but look. I won five! Show me the money! Come on! LEAH: Stop wasting all your Neopoints! DUNKEY: Noo! LEAH: You're gonna need them. DUNKEY: Damn, almost, I almost had it! Come on, come on. You saw how close I was. [ Leah giggling ] DUNKEY: We have a loser, ladies and gentlemen! Here we go, this is it. I feel - I - this - any - yes! See? See? I only lost 200 points on that! I'm gettin' better. It doesn't let me play anymore! Hey kid, let somebody else play. Yer takin' all my best prizes! Guess I'll just play Hot Dog Hero. The graphics on that hot dog. Pff - whoa! I thought that was a real pickle for a sec - Normal potato counter. Not the extreme one. I'm gonna say... One, two, three. I'm gonna say there's roughly around 483 potatoes. YES! [ claps ] YES! I did it! Time to SPIN! The! Wheel! Of! Fortune... [ wheel clicking ] Come on. Show me the money! No. Everybody be quiet. I need complete concentration for this game. [ buzz ] FUCK! [ Leah giggling ] DUNKEY: All right. This time, I got it in the bag. I just gotta get this thing in... [ buzz ] FUCK! Third time's the charm! You know what they s - [ buzz ] Fuck this game, no, fuck this, zero points. Guess the watermelon's weight! The watermelon can weigh anywhere between 200 and 800 pounds. I'm gonna say this one is 3 pounds. [ buzz ]
Come o - LEAH: Click it! It's like Mad Libs, You just fill out the form, and you have to make him laugh. DUNKEY: OK. LEAH: Make a funny joke. DUNKEY How did make a team of baby elephants who accepts a quest from Chomby & the Fungus Balls? Eh? By eating a can of Halloween poison bones! [ rimshot ] Am I right, or am I right? Hahahaha. Show me the money. For the love of god. Hey look, my Neopet is dying. Heh heh heh heh... Here Neopet, eat this knife for your food! Here ya go! [ chomp ] Mmm, delicious! [ Leah giggling in the background ]
DUNKEY: Stupid idiot was dying, now he is starv - Fuck this game, fuck everybody who makes Neopets. This is so stupid. Look, I - I keep hitting him! I can't fuckin' hit the purple di - Hey, I'm actually doin' alright on this one. Oh my god, he hit his head on - Fuck you, you fucking piece of shit purple dinosaur. And fuck everybody who makes - The Joker from Batman. All he did - he was - he played this game once and that's how he got that way. The hit animation is so fucking short! Piece of shit, dick, DICK! Yo- pbt - I - OK! OK! I'm - oh! I actually killed him! I killed the fu - aaaAAAAAAA Doin' pretty good! [ laughs ] There it is!
[ laughs ] [ yells ] I'm gonna buy some cheese from this cheese store now. Oh, sorry, we don't have gouda. [ Leah laughing ]
We don't have that one. How about cheddar? You got cheddar? What? How do you not have che - Havarti? Never heard of it! This is the world's shittiest cheese store! It doesn't have an - LEAH: Try brich. DUNKEY: Dick?
LEAH: No, brick. [ Leah laughs ]
DUNKEY: Dick? Sorry, you'll have to be more specific! Official warning from the Neopets team. OK, I'm already banned from Neopets. [ dramatic music ]
Oh shit! Are you guys hearin' this music? Now this is gonna be a good-ass game. Here we go. Uh... This is the game? With the music? Cliffhanger. Now this is a classic. It's like hangman. Except every time you get something wrong, the seal walks up the cliff. Until... He gets to the very top. [ splat ] Look! He's lookin' at his watch! That means it's halfway over! LEAH: Did you see the spotlight? You just go on the site here. LEAH: Oh! LEAH: Uh oh.
DUNKEY: WHAT [ Leah laughing ]
DUNKEY: BABY OH MY GOD Well guys, Leah closed out the wheel on accident. So... We're starting it again. [ sighs ] Games graveyard. It's where dead games go. Games so horrible, we had to remove them from the site. ♪ Livin' in the city ♪ ♪ You know you have to survive ♪ ♪ Livin' in the city ♪
♪ You've got to keep the dream alive ♪ [ wheel clicking ] Dar-Blat. Now here's a game that's still on the website. You get one chance. And if you miss your shot, you lose the game. It all comes down to this. Game over. You missed. What an excellent game. [ laughing ] Leah just found this website that has all the original artwork for the Neopets. On the left here, you have pretty much what it looks like in the game today. Now, on the right, this is the original artwork for this character. Are you ready? And... BOP There - there - there you go. This one is called Flotsam. Uh, and they - bop. There you go. You have an older rendition. Not so bad. But then you look at the original. Bop. There he is. There you go. This one is pretty dramatic. Uh, could we bring up the original, uh, Kau Neopet? Bop. There you go. It's a black woman. I do not make this game. I am not affiliated with Neopets so I can't go to jail. Please not Typing Terror. Don't make me play this. None of these are real words. What the fuck is th - What the fuck is a xantan? Type the fake words upside down! Classic game, ladies and gentl - Yeah, of course I know that one. That - that's - that's ea - Oh, that's just szilard. Yeah. Zyrolon. What, you can't use zyrolon in a sentence? What are you, fuckin' stupid? What is this SHIT? I got a total of nine points. For playing that game. [ gasps ] Oh my god! The wheel stopped! The whe - What did I get? [ drumroll ] Five Neopoints. Catch the Petpet. Find the purple hippo in the crowd. There he is. Find the red guy. The - Find the yellow guy. Find the gre - I just got 500 points for that. Now, I know what you're sayin'. "Dunkey, how do you top the Kau being a black woman?" Bop. Oh. Looks pretty much the same, right? Bring out the original. Bop! And there he is!|
[ Price is Right theme song playing ] And there he is! And that is it! That's the gu - [ singing along with music ] [ laughing ] [ music stops, singing continues ] Oh.
Wow, Neopets is a hell of a lot worse than how I remember it from when I played.
I lied about my age when I made my account cause I was too young, now I am in my late 20's and I can't play because I forgot my fake birthday.
I'll have you know I was a Neopoint-Millionaire and had a Draik and a Moltenore
I'm just amazed neopets as an entity is still alive. It's almost old enough to vote
I have a feeling shitty flash games simply migrated to shitty mobile gaming.
Yes the Macy Gray Neopet was really a thing
Oh god I need to go feed my pets an omelette.
AMA with one of the founders of Neopets: https://www.reddit.com/r/neopets/comments/26fwhh/i_am_donna_one_of_the_founders_of_neopets_ask_me/
I remember when I used to create guilds. I would always make one of those donation links to my shop (everything would be sold at high prices so you could "donate" to your guild) and tell everyone that if they donated, there would be giveaways and stuff. I would wait until everyone donated a ton of neopoints, then remove everyone, delete the guild, and start over. Good times, good times.