VidCon Europe happened... And I went to it! With Jaiden! We've known each other for a few months, but
we hadn't actually met until... now. I was pretty nervous about meeting in person
for the first time and then immediately having to sit next to each other for 8 hours straight
on our flight to Amsterdam, because, I mean, let's be honest... Until then, I had no proof that she wasn't
an /axe murderer/. Still don't, but we're friends so she'll kill
me last.0 Anyway, flying with a friend is awesome because
airplanes are... hilarious. The in-flight magazine had lots of not-English
bits next to pictures that couldn't ever possibly make sense, like this one guy who was just...
holding a duck. What uh... whatcha doin' with that duck, man? ...are you gonna eat him? The best part about duck-man is that I used
my phone to translate the caption and it said "Test the chops of pork." ... Which answered NO QUESTIONS, AIRPLANE
MAGAZINE. This guy had a neat hat that he seems to like,
Scarlet Johansen was taking a nap - for some reason, and this sweet briefcase wants you
to "MOVE OVER MILLENIALS". *close magazine* ... COMEDY GOLD! …I stole this. Also, I think the guy in front of me was sitting
in his chair upside down. We basically spent the entire flight just
tiredly laughing at everything. When we walked out of the airport we just...
stood there, like, "*stifled laughter* now what?" We didn't even know how to get to the convention
center! Luckily, a very nice and not-at-all-shady
foreign man walked up and asked "Texi?" Why yes, complete stranger, we would like
to put our lives in your hands! He told us to just, walk toward the parking
garage down the street and he'd catch up. Yeah, that's fine! At least if he murders us we'll get a good
video out of it. But it all went better than expected. He unlocked his car, then went to do something
real quick before we left. The only real problem was later when he accused
me of messing with his taxi meter thing. We were in the backseat! When I told him we had no idea what he was
talking about, he was like "In my four years of texi driving it's never done that!" Done what!? There's a first time for everything, bucko! I got a bad feeling that he was trying to
scam us somehow, but since I'm so well versed in "The Art of Doing Things You're Not Supposed
To (Trademark)" There was NO WAY a taxi driver was ever gonna pull a fast one on us. He was actually a pretty nice guy and we made
it to the hotel in one piece. Which, by the way, had an /amazing/ floor
to ceiling window. An ENTIRE WALL was just, a window. So that was exciting, but Jaiden broke everything
so we got "upgraded" to a less cool room. It's fine, I mean, she only ruined my whole
trip. While we were waiting for the new room we
went out to explore Amsterdam and get something to eat. I'm from a city that isn't cool enough to
have a metro or anything so we had to figure out how to use public transport. When you buy a tram pass, you're supposed
to scan it when you get on and when you get off. But one time, Jaiden forgot to scan it as
she was getting off, and I got really worried, "Jaiden! You're not following the rules!" she turned around all dramatic-like, "What
are they gonna do, kick me off?" *airhorn* And, of course, the delirious laughter didn't
/stop/ when we got off the plane. We were surrounded by signs written Dutch
that looked real silly to my dumb American eyes. Look at this, that's not a word, that's a
short story! I think they had to make the building wider
just to fit the name in. Sometimes we'd see a random English word thrown
in for good measure, like this ad at the tram stop that said something apparently outrageous
about mayonnaise, because... *pan to bottom* SERIOUSLY!? The best is when a word is /almost/ English. Like the name of one of the weird restaurants
Jaiden found on her phone, spelled Y-A-G-O-Y. Which I read "It's YA GOY!" With a name like that, we had to go. The thing we /didn't/ know about Yagoy is
that it is actually a yoga school that also sells food. Just inside was a big sign "Show us your feet"
which seemed a little forward, but who am I to argue with a laminated sign? So we took our shoes off and picked a table. The lady that runs the place came over all
confused like, "uh... people don't come here for the food" But we still got dinner, and
some tea that tasted like gum! Ten outta ten. When VidCon started, we went to some panels
and walked around the expo hall. The craziest part of the trip to me, was that
about a dozen people recognized /me/. I mean, I think people were mostly excited
to see Jaiden, and I kinda cheated by Tweeting what I was wearing, but that was so cool! First, thank you! Everyone who came up to us was super nice. And second, are you sure you didn't have me
confused with someone else? I have like 2 videos. Either way, thanks. On the second day, Jaiden was the moderator
of the animation panel, which was awesome by the way, good job Jaiden. And when it was over, /I/ was the first to
clap, so, I helped too. Afterwards Swoozie was taking selfies with
fans and generally just being like, the smoothest guy ever. I mean, /I'm/ incredibly charismatic. Obviously. But Adande takes it to a whole new level. Swoozie is somehow cooler in person than in
his videos. It's disgusting. So Jaiden and I went over to the window where
Adande was making a small crowd feel like the most important people in the world, and
sat kinda next to him. I was trying to play it cool, cuz you know,
can't let Swoozie outshine me too much, but also furiously taking mental notes. (Paper in brain: "How to get people to like
you") After a while I was like "so um... we're about to go get dinner, if you wanted to come,
that'd be cool, I guess..." And he was like "Ha ha ha. No." What? Am I not cool enough to eat with? Am I not up to your "standards"? Probably not. BUT JAIDEN IS! You're gonna not hang out with Jaiden freaking
Animations just because /I'm/ with her? That's... understandable. Sorry Jaiden. Besides, he had another panel to do. A LIKELY EXCUSE. Another panelist was one of the /first/ people
I ever subscribed to, TomSka. He's pretty well known for making... this. And after Swoozie headed out it was just me,
Jaiden, and Tom. Now's my chance! I can use everything I learned from Swoozie
just now to be so charming and funny that Tom will have no choice but to go to dinner
with us and follow me on Twitter and be my /best/ friend in the whole world. So I confidently strolled over to him and
said "so um... we're about to go get dinner, if you wanted to come, that'd be cool, I guess..." And he was like "Ha ha ha... ok." It worked! And to top it all off he followed me on Twitter
so I could DM him the name of the restaurant. We're pretty much best friends now. (pop noise) *Tom unfollows* Well, it was fun while it lasted. Tom, his friend Elliot, Jaiden, and I went
to this place called Wagamama, which we don't really have in the US, but it was delicious. I don't have a joke for this part, I just
really liked the food. Actually, can we talk for a second? (pause) Not everything that happens to me
is funny, but now it's kind of my job to share my life and, hopefully, make you laugh. I wish I could tell you a hilarious story
of all the crazy stuff that happened that night, and I think /some/ YouTubers might
embellish things... But the truth is: we all just ate dinner and
relaxed, which I needed after a day of running around VidCon. Tom and Elliot were really genuine and down
to earth and it was cool to actually get to know them a bit. (reverse pop noise) *Tom refollows* We booked a few extra days with the hotel
so after VidCon we'd have time to explore Amsterdam and take a train over to Paris. Which just sounds cool doesn't it? "Yeah, no biggie just gonna run to Paris for
the day" The morning of that trip was /supposed/ to
be frantic. Wake up early, eat breakfast, ride the tram
to central station, and get to our train as fast as possible. But I woke up and like, checked Twitter...
and went back for seconds at breakfast... Jaiden, relax, we have time. It takes 22 minutes to get to there, and we
have like half an hour! When we walked out of the hotel we saw the
tram leaving our stop, which means we'd have to wait 10 whole minutes for the next one. Wow Jaiden, you really should have hurried
at breakfast. The tram we got on was /excruciatingly/ slow,
because oF COURSE IT WAS. An old man got off without scanning his pass
and the driver stopped to make him go through all his luggage and pockets to find it. Like, what the heck!? Leave him! He’s old! We got to the station with about 60 seconds
to spare. We sprinted in and checked the monitors to
see which platform the train was on. Before I could even focus on the screen, Jaiden
shouts “THIS WAY” and we take off running toward platform 15. As we get close to the stairs I hear a train
above start to move. We’re so close! This is gonna be like one of those scenes
in the movies where we throw our bags on the train and hop on just in time. THIS IS GONNA MAKE SUCH A GOOD VIDEO! We climbed the stairs to the platform and
saw… nothing. Dang it, the video’s ruined. We went back to the monitors, and figured
out that we needed to be on platform 15… in the international terminal. On the other side of the station. So close, yet so far away. Luckily we were able to get on the next train
out so we just had to wait for an hour. Jaiden had to go to the bathroom, and apparently
in Amsterdam, you have to pay an entrance fee to... pee. But she walked up to the little rotatey bar
thing and instead of putting money in it like a law abiding citizen, just kinda… went...
under it. Don’t tell her I said this, but she’s
a total weirdo. Unfortunately for her, the pee police emerged
from the shadows and told her to leave. What, you think you can just go to the bathroom? Pff, millennials. While we were on the train we'd occasionally
hear a stern sounding announcement in a different language and turn to each other like, "[Seriously?]" The day was off to a good start, and when
we arrived in Paris we’d have seven hours to do as much as possible. Outside the train station a guy came up to
us and asked, “Texi?” and we were like “This can only end well!” It did not. Here’s the thing, I KNEW he was scamming
us. The driver didn’t have a meter thing, so
we’d have no way of knowing what the charge should have been, and the guy that brought
us to the driver was wearing real expensive shoes that just screamed “I steal money
from dumb tourists!” He was even saying hi to train station employees
in the halls - that definitely didn’t know him - to make it seem like he worked there. I noticed all of those things, AND IT STILL
WORKED! That twenty minute cab ride cost three times
what it should have. Not the end of the world, but boy did we get
taken for a ride. *rimshot* We walked everywhere else. It’s pretty amazing what you can do in seven
hours. We went to the Eiffel Tower, but since we
didn’t have quite enough time to wait in line, we just like… touched it. And, of course, signs in France also looked
silly to us. I don't care what language you speak, three
of the same letter is /too many/! We also stopped at a little bakery where I
asked for their least American cookie, but when I said that, someone in the back laughed
at me. The owner came out and said “Sorry! I’m from Kansas!” If I went to Kansas, everyone would be a total
stranger, but meeting another American abroad was like, “we’re friends, huh?” Our last night in Amsterdam Jaiden found a
restaurant that we were pretty sure would let us keep our shoes on. When we showed up, the hostess said they only
had two meals left and we were like... “SOLD!” Which was kinda the perfect ending for the
trip. Neither of us had any idea what we were gonna
get, but it ended up being really good. WHICH IS A DUMB METAPHOR (James says something,
I didn’t really pay attention. Make sure to watch Jaiden’s video)
