My New Husband Won't Help Support My Family

Zarina is in Raleigh hi Serena how are you hi Matt Sorum damn good on yourself better than I deserve what's up so I need some sound advice for myself and my husband we are newlyweds we've been married for six months and now we are looking at combining our finances but he is a little bit nervous together we have a total of 137 thousand dollars in student loans where mine is over a hundred and eleven thousand and his is a lot less did he know did he know this when you got married yes sir he did he say the vows at the altar that said for richer for poorer in sickness and health unto thee all my worldly goods I pledge did he mean it why are your finances not combined because he's nervous about my family and how I handled my finances with them I you give your family money without talking to your husband well before we got married I used to live with my parents so I paid for half of the mortgage and I pay for other bills still and you got married why you half the mortgage for somebody else when you have a hundred eleven thousand dollars in student loan debt yes sir why because my parents are in their 80s and they don't work do they not have Social Security we're not from this country sir no sir okay did your husband know that you were obligated to take care of your 80 year old parents when you got married he did but he also would like some help from my siblings and that's one part where I'm nervous to talk to my siblings about it I'm not it's overdue I agree with your husband he would like to combine our finances but because of the situation that I'm in he doesn't know how to go about doing that well the way he would go about it is is that the two of you come into agreement on what you are willing to do to support your parents when you lived there it was perfectly logical that you took care of half the mortgage because you were a roommate with them now that you don't live there anymore and you have your own household it now becomes a charitable act two aging parents that you take care of the mortgage which should be shared with siblings I agree with him yesterday like before you got married this should have been talked about to your siblings I'm moving out and we're all taking care of mom and dad splitsies yes sir that's where I have to start doing that you know and I think you know you agree to do that so you're you think your siblings aren't going to want to take care of your parents I'm sure that they would if they could but all of them I don't come from a financially stable household we were never taught how to save or do any of that so everyone is working to get to pay and how much does it take to support your mom and dad about 2,000 u.s. are they in the car they in the u.s. yeah okay my siblings most of them are not okay 2000 US per month yes that's covering and what is your and what is your household income you and your new husband our household income after taxes eighty thousand nine hundred and seventy six dollars so you're making about a hundred and two hundred and three right yes sir okay well that's pretty good news and your siblings how many of them are there I have seven in total okay well here's what it sounds like if I'm at your house you guys have to talk this through okay we can't put your parents in the street no that is not an option okay what do your parents have any income or any assets not in the US what income and assets do they have outside the US if they went back home they have their own property and they don't have much expenses there right and so where is home the way you Central America okay and what is that property worth were they to sell it probably about sixty thousand u.s. and that would take care of about thirty months I have one brother living there so we can't sell them we can sell it he can move and rent it's not his property this is so listen I understand taking care of your parents and I want you to be doing that I don't want to put old people on the street that is not my heart but I agree with your husband that there's a toxic thing going on here and the only one that's getting written is you nobody else is doing what they're supposed to do in this whole story your parents aren't selling their property your brothers and sisters aren't chipping in what they can ship in now if I were your husband I would say listen I am fine helping to support them as long as everybody puts in something I think necessarily equal because I understand they're in a different country they don't necessarily have the income but everybody puts in something I don't care if it's fifty dollars everybody puts in something and the property back homes being sold let's pretend you were broke what would they do no I mean wow that's true cuz you got a hundred thousand dollars in student loan debt but I'm saying you'd let us pretend you didn't have any options here to participate what would happen to mom and dad they would sell the property back home to keep from being in the street or they moved back home and live in that property one that they wouldn't they okay and once we combine our finances and get that out what would be your best advice for us to tackle this huge loan that we have head-on as fast as you can living on nothing it's going to be somewhat slowed by the money you used to help take care of your parents and I suggest to your husband that he agreed is something where you do participate in taking care of your parents if the property is sold and the other siblings participate at some level but if they're all gonna leave it all on you I'm gonna leave it all on them and let them figure it out because I think they're being stubborn and milking you like you're a cow I think everybody's got a place to play here and nobody's playing but you so if I'm your husband I would I would have to be willing to take care of your mom and dad but not when no one else is participating including your mom and dad but not selling the property cuz your brothers living in it he needs to go get a place to live that's what he needs to do or they need to move back there and live with him I would work too maybe that's a better idea it's up to y'all I don't care but you just wholesale taking care of them is not proper I do agree with your husband on that

Channel: The Dave Ramsey Show

Views: 297,201

Rating: 4.8505282 out of 5

Keywords: the dave ramsey show, budget money debt cash, real estate, insurance, how to make money, dave ramsey, save, credit card, compound interest, buying house, buy, snowball, New Husband Won't Support My Family, family, marriage, money, parents, siblings, combine finances

Id: ep-YdZUoKjI

Length: 7min 30sec (450 seconds)

Published: Mon May 13 2019