My Dad Is Sleeping On My Couch

Elizabeth joins us in Austin Texas welcome to the Dave Ramsey show Elizabeth hi Mario better than I deserve what's up so I have a question more in regards to my parents I'm 25 years old I have six siblings total and our parents are going through a lot of financial hardships they lost their house two years ago and they've been technically homeless since then currently my mom is saying on my sister is callous and my dad is saying on my couch with my other sister and it's you know really it's overwhelming for all of us and my personally my dad just keeps on making poor decisions financial decisions like this yesterday yesterday he bought a brand new not brand new it's our used car that's like $30,000 of an ante our by 23% and he's homeless living on our couch and we're about to I mean personally making the decisions you kind of cut ties but it's really hard because there are parents the religious want your advice I'll give you like we're trying to get ahead of our you know our own life to be financially successful and just feel like our parents are kind of holding us back and we're just trying to go the right way about it I'm sorry that's so hard you're 25 I can't get my head around I can't get my head around I'm I mean I've got a 27 year old son I can't get my head around I lost my house two years ago you said I've told my daughter's couch for two years and the only thing I can come up with to do is go buy a $30,000 car at 22 percent interest I can't get my head around that does he work yes he does he works at home evil how many hours you work 40 hours a week 30 minutes minimum pay he was his own actual own business owner and fielded that went to shambles he lost once he lost that was lost everything so he went sailing from staying on our grandmother's couch to just coming up to us kids and the hard thing is if we're trying to help but you know the mentality that they have or not my mom but more so my father is you know like I paid for you guys coming up so now if y'all starting to take care of wings and we're not really in the position like we're all like I said trying to get ahead of ourselves and we're on position to do that and it's very like really hard it's this is not gonna end well you know that right yeah I'm so sorry because here's the thing someone who does not respect boundaries like your dad when you put up boundaries which is what you're getting ready to do he's not gonna react well of that he feels like he is entitled to anything you own and that's not accurate he shouldn't feel that way and so when you tell him he's not entitled to anything you own just because he sired you he's not going to react well of that are you prepared for that group six siblings I think we're all trying to make that new such a realizing that were not I'm not saying you should cut ties with him but I think you should quit supporting him and because he's not making good decisions and I don't know if he is he mentally ill I wouldn't I think so he might I mean I think that ever since everything is kind of gone downhill he's you know taking these a lot worse and our mother's mentally ill too so mm-hmm okay well I I think what are you by chance are associated with a good church you personally I am yeah good I think you need to go see some Pastoral Council on this and and that is that that is strong and that is not weak but also is kind okay and so it probably is going to end up sounding something like this I I don't want you to cut ties with him I just want you to kick him out okay that's different now he may choose to cut ties with you because he may be angry when you don't go along with his plan for taking your money okay he may choose that but you don't have to choose that that's up to him that do so it would sound something like this that the decisions you're making with the money that you have coming in with where you're choosing to work and how you're choosing to earn living and the purchase of this car they don't make sense to me I brought you in here and gave you a place to stay not for the rest of your life but because you were on hard times and help you turn it around instead you've made things worse while you were here and so what you've got to do is we're going to set a timeline by which you can stay here for another month but it is that you are going to be on a budget you're gonna sell that car and you're gonna start making plans and working all the hours you can work to get a deposit together to go rinse you your own place a grown man like you should have the dignity of standing on his own and that's how you taught us and that's how you're gonna have to do dad and I love you and I'll support you and I'll be your biggest cheerleader but you can't sleep on my couch after that after one month from today or two months I don't care you don't kick him out this Friday you know but but this is going the problem as this seems to be going on until he's 90 and you're 40 and that's gotta stop here has to be an end to it so if it's one month or two months I don't care give him a little room to give him an up ramp to get on you know to get back off the ground he's gotta have enough runway to get off the ground right it's an it's an entrance ramp on his new interstate of life and so we'll give him a ramp but but that's what I mean I don't think it's Friday it's very gentle and very calm and if he reacts poorly and starts having a fit and is raging does he do that he does do that yes yeah he will definitely play a good big field trip get up yeah so here's the thing that if you're gonna mistreat me you can't stay here at all you can only stay here if you can have manners and you can only stay here long enough to get back up on your own feet and I'm designating that to be X amount of time and this is not because I don't love you it's because I do love you and you seem to be stuck and I want to see you go be the man that I used to know the dad that I grew up with who was a provider and no dad I do not owe you the rest of your life staying on my couch I don't I'm not in debt to you that I love you but I'm not in debt to you that was your job as dad to raise us well you didn't raise us so that we could turn around and take you know somehow we're required to take care of you and your misbehavior this is gonna be painful you need your brothers and sisters around you you need a good pastor around you to walk you through this very difficult to do at 25 years old you can do it though

Channel: The Dave Ramsey Show

Views: 155,530

Rating: 4.8926439 out of 5

Keywords: the dave ramsey show, budget money debt cash, real estate, insurance, how to make money, dave ramsey, save, credit card, compound interest, buying house, buy, snowball, My Dad Has Been Sleeping On My Couch, couch, father, parents with money problems, money, family, children, parents, advice, finance, new car, bad decisions, parents making bad decisions, parents are homeless

Id: nmb2_qtvGF8

Length: 7min 51sec (471 seconds)

Published: Tue May 14 2019