Mother In Law Keeps Asking Us For Money!

Tibbie is with us in Honolulu starting off this hour welcome to the Dave Ramsey show Tippi hi thanks for having me sure and my question is is we are a military family and we have made it through all of our babies pets and right now we're just trying to save as much as possible for retirement in eight years the only issue is that my mother-in-law has never saved anything the towards for retirement she's always just assumed she was going to collect Social Security and that was it but she's running into some medical problems now and we're the only ones that can actually help financially so I'm just wondering how do we go about saving and making sure her news on that Wallace of not being completely derailed from maintaining our retirement goals and our financials what is the how much money does she need and why she doesn't have any money saved for retirement like literally nothing in those savings accounts she has never put in two in Quaeda type of retirement I got that what does she need money for though she's having some dental surgeries done right now and then she also needs a car and originally we were going to had enough money enough cash paid to where we could sentence her vehicle and that's what we were going to do because she can't retire and also have a new vehicle but then the medical issues came up so now we're paying for the medical and also trying to save for a vehicle for her so how much is the medical it's going to be a total about $8,000 mm-hmm and how much is the car we had 10,000 set aside for the cars she have a car she does it's about 25 years old does it run yes and actually my sister-in-law's husband does all the meat and inside for free but it's getting to the point where like she has holes in the floor how old is she she just turned 61 why does she not work she does work she is and she works at Ruger and she assembles all the rules looser weapons and stuff like that so what is she mad was that she she I think it was they were talking it's really hard to get any information out of them for as far as finances go cause it's kind of a shame topic but usually means you both my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law they live together very guarded when it could they live together five minutes apart okay all right okay so here's what I've got I got a 61 year old woman that makes money probably decent money and chooses actually it's pretty low they're in a really small town in North Carolina I think her she doesn't she's rented the same house no what makes you just told me yeah so my husband has talked to her about it and she said that she's making about about twelve to fifteen hundred dollars a month okay I don't believe that okay if she's working 40 hours for Ruger that she makes 15,000 or $16,000 a year I don't think that's probably true but we don't know that's the bottom line okay so here's the way that I approach helping someone you can throw money at people that have problems and they will still have money problems after you've thrown the money at them translation you gave it why we are not translation you gave translation you gave a drunk a drink it's that well kind of no not kinda my god hey Miguel but we're not now it's my turn to talk okay not kinda it is that is what it is when you give people money that are misbehaving you are financing their misbehavior and that is not helping them that's you not having the courage to force life change in someone that needs to address their life change so we're this my mother your husband needs to deal with this and not you you're just the daughter-in-law which makes you the bad guy your husband needs to deal with is mom mom we are willing to help you but we're gonna get full disclosure on everything you make and where every dollar is going and you're going to participate in us helping you because we're going to make sure that from this point forward you are managing your money better because I am NOT throwing money at you just because you need it just because you don't manage it I love you and I love you so much I'm going to make you fix this area of your life so you are a blessing to you in the process if you need some help we will help you and so I think you've probably already agreed to cover this dental cost I'm not buying you a car until we get a full breakdown on the budget then we see what the budget looks like and we're helping you with the budget well I don't want to talk to you about that then I'm not buying you a car my giving you any more money after this dental is 100% conditional upon you doing better for you I love you so much I'm not going to participate in your misbehavior your insanity I'm not gonna do it I'm not giving a drunk a drink I will pay for the drunk to go to rehab I will take them to a restaurant and buy them a meal but I will not pay them money for them to go get drunk with they have an alcohol problem I'm not giving money to someone who's misbehaving with money so that they can continue to misbehave with money no one got helped here it's an illusion and you're supposed to feel like you feel better because you helped her you didn't help her you paid for her insanity and to make money your entire life and have nothing to show for it is a form of insanity she's made good money throughout her life she's making better money than she's letting you on now her take-home pay might be fifteen hundred because she's getting a bunch of ripoff crap taken out of her check or she's got too much coming out of her check and she's getting a big refund at the end of the year but I just about promises she's making 30 grand there and fifteen hundred is 18 grand something wrong I could be wrong but I just you know that happens to be an area of the country and a world I know a tiny bit about so I could be wrong but I'm gonna I'm gonna know before I give her any money and the sister-in-law is not involved sister-in-laws got her own issues this is your husband talking to his mother about how he can be a blessing to her by participating in her financial healing by both giving her money and by demanding that she start behaving with money for her own good if she won't do it don't give her money that's my rule [Applause] [Music]

Channel: The Dave Ramsey Show

Views: 188,529

Rating: 4.8740458 out of 5

Keywords: Mother In Law Keeps Asking Us For Money!, family asking for money, money, family, show, dave, ramsey, dave ramsey family asking for money, family members asking for money, how to deal with family asking for money, how to handle family asking for money, tired of family asking for money

Id: sS8indzZ-rw

Length: 8min 0sec (480 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 14 2018