yeah I okay who's going to actually pay off their student loans on this game I don't have any money I'm literally a double Deb money may not bring happiness but gambling definitely does this may be the worst one I've made yet hi I'm valefisk and if you don't know me I make a lot of really terrible games on this channel this time around however I've taken a different approach to this than usual I want to fix an existing board game make it better actually playable this is the game of life even if you've never played it you've heard of it it is a terrible game you just spin the wheel and move around the board watching your life happen as you go so let's make it worse this is a veil Fist Game of Life I did not fix any of the gameplay problems in fact they're probably worse here than anything else the goal of the game is simple roll the dice move around the board and get to retirement Whoever has the most money at the end of the game wins just like real life what makes this better is that the life you lead here in my version is much more realistic than the old game for example going to college will put you $150,000 in debt which appreciates at a 6.8% interest rate every turn here you work only the most normal of jobs such as AP urine collector or dog food taste tester iron lung maintenance worker all the important jobs of Life are represented and unlike the original each job comes with its own set of special little cards to draw events that happen while on the job making life just that much more interesting other than that the board spaces might make you have a child lose your job grow a new testicle or rather often you draw a take the L card which always results in you losing something you value I gathered seven fresh victims to come and experience this little project six of whom had absolutely no idea what they were getting into but that's all you need to know for this special little game but before we jump in we need to thank today's sponsor that's right it's King God Castle baby king God Castle is a strategy defense Auto battler with over eight different game modes and 49 unlockable Heroes with even more coming further down the road take up to six Heroes into battle to defend the kingdom against wave after wave of monsters in the invasion game mode it's easy to learn but hard to master you start by summoning and merging Your Heroes together to create more powerful ones to win but as you progress to the later chapters your strategies will have to get more complex and you'll have to use all the skills and equipment at your disposal to make it each Hero has basic skills along with unlockable traits further down the road when you've upgraded them with certain Heroes having massive stunning skill effects the game features a unique and cute pixel art style with each individual hero being Illustrated with a highquality anime style portrait King God Castle kindly boosted my account so I can show you how each Hero has a variety of different premium skins to collect all of which have their own unique feel so use my link in the description now to download King God Castle on Android or iOS for free and use my code to redeem four free God Scrolls and get free chances to summon random Heroes thanks again to King God castle for sponsoring this video just a couple more things real quick before we begin I want to thank my friend MBE who did all of the art for this one if you've seen any of my past board games then you'll know why I don't think I should be the one drawing anymore more and if you want to play the game for yourself it's up on the Steam Workshop for tabletop simulator link down below so without further Ado let's Jump Right In that's really creepy don't for that in the video no it's fine it's fine I I won't put it in the video I'll just open with you saying that was really creepy don't put that in the video and then they can leave you know it's imagination what did he say this time that I had to cut out there we go okay it's done it's done I have there's been exactly zero play testing as always I have no idea if this is going to work or not but unlike most things I make um it it it will keep going it won't end like there's nothing that will end give me one second I need to stand up mhm colors are we allowed to pick it's not Computing here I thought this supposed to be short and now you're telling me it never ends oh it's the game of life no please oh my God why are we playing the game of Life are we ready for life I am so excited I've done Ito oh have I is that the iron lung y oh you see the iron lung tile I love that radio head song Jesus Christ fck off who made the little car model uh that's just straight from the game of lifeedit whoever made the tabletop game of life cuz that's where that model comes from I do like how you're being very inclusive with uh three colors of people yeah the three types of human mask fem and Goblin yeah I thought you would just going to say green and the green go mask femine green I love green I I actually want to be green this is just to decide who will go first and then we'll go down from there oh it's novel do you want to go uh do you want to be a career man or are you going to go to uh University no you got to roll the dice are you going into University yeah all right let me switch negative $1,500 onto your calculator oh I failed class you failed class oh skip your next turn that's a shame what a start what a start y w I'm so excited it's Mo it's now most turn it's even a point in okay what do you mean but yeah but you'll get a college based job at the end that's the difference do I what's that mean uh you get a job that requires a college degree half of the jobs do half of the jobs don't 6.8% what yeah all right Mo has also gone down this so minus 150,000 there go you're both off to a flying start so every turn by the way um your loan will uh is it appreciate or depreciate by 6.8% it gets bigger what does that mean um you've M interest if you're not paying your loan off things are going to get bad that's all I'm saying all right dear God I wanted it to be realistic to the college experience so you're going to be paying off that thing for the rest of your [ __ ] life [ __ ] it's uh oh it's me it's me I'm going to I'm actually going to not go down College I think that could be a mistake see what he get oh did you um oh wait these aren't split based on whether they're college or not okay if it's College I'll if it's College I'll know if it's College I'll know that's a college College hang a minute what was that hold on a minute everybody everybody look away everybody look away from this while I sort these into two different Stacks real quickly this is this is the this is the non College deck I'm going to shuffle it please don't view the one I oh okay okay I'm okay that's fine what does that mean Enthusiast I get paid to do medical studies like the experiment on my body are you doing the college path or the career path I'll I'll go this way unlucky oh uba uba lose 10 you lose 10,000 oh you have to draw a uh a job first I think from that say are you are you in debt uh debt debt is very real uh it's not great to have hey heye no way I am I am the best I am the best league player out of all of us there you go you've got 400,000 in the bank after that 410,000 he landed on U uba off it's such a shame that I lost $10,000 wealthiest man [ __ ] R oh I hope you lose your job so bad I hope wash out of the [ __ ] League I know chamber hasn't even received his Riot points yet I don't know maybe there's a prize for the winner I haven't really thought this through at this stage um I guess I guess they're League of Legends League of Legends Gift Card Riot points you win Riot points oh my God no I'm sabotaging I'm sabotaging true true I still owe you both $10 of RI I need to buy seraphim skins true oh such [ __ ] loser dude no way I'm going to go career path as well should I just pick one before rolling yeah why not he's about to pick up the like dollar salary job there's some really bad oh it's not bad oh we're good we're good we're Good Egg Factory he works in the Egg Factory ooh no I don't want to take the L wait I'll I'll get i'll get my salary first I don't want to die I already have I I hope these take the L cards are balanced cuz they were done in the last 45 minutes your foot f it was so P um links yes okay this is a big decision am I going to be educated or am I going to roll the dice and become a league A fishon you know what I'm I'm going to roll the dice I'm going to I'm going to go career path oh he is it's so over two two U Uber oh [ __ ] that's not good take a job I have to say the uh the number of jobs in this stack that are actually reasonable is almost gone I think there's maybe one left that you might actually want OD are not great right now Gambler oh I love gambling it's so odd 90% of gamblers quit before they win big exactly exactly but links is different he's built different he's built different no but if you skip turn by going college do you still take interest um true you do still take because you're drunk doesn't mean the economy doesn't function you know how do you do perc compound interest C here I'll have it open on on my side monitor at all do is 1.68 how do I type minus on my calculator oh yeah I'm rolling I'm rolling I'm going to go to the first stop job oh let's go so now I need to pull out from my magic sack the cards that are specific to the medical study Enthusiast no way each each job has a small set of cards that they only that job has to deal with sure okay please don't be bad oh oh I sold at cashfor gold.com subjections CA you to [ __ ] a lump of gold wow cashfor gold.com I'm money we're rich we're rich um can I just stay at this point in my life no you can't be 19 forever chamber 1 two three oh you land on payday good for look at my God oh God he's going to get so much money he's out this calcul we need to ch was running away with the game hold on hold on clear that one 810 there we go there's a rounding error there's a rounding eror you PID that much mate you play [ __ ] support this is it six we're so we're so on trying to give you your uh egg dick EG egg dick what egg sorry I I miss heard I miss heard you you have one of the best decks in the game I can promise you I'm going to like tole my money right here yep no oh you dropped an egg you dropped an egg going to be but also also you get your payday as well what are these eggs these normal eggs normal egg rates normal egg rates I I wish Alon Chambers League career so bad um oh it's linkx it's links HX ah okay I can't see how my gambling career will backfire at all really only good fortune five oh dear I do have to roll the dice yeah get the payday let me get your uh you're the Gambler AR yeah you're the Gambler all right time to roll the dice see what I did there oh I get it yeah oh the IRS oh dear regular official but cost all the money I have oh Jesus Christ oh that sucks so bad it's fine you'll make it back you'll make it back in no time swings yeah but what am I going to gamble with my body that's true what is there shot shot shot sh all right Teddy let's go um Teddy yeah Class Clown Class Clown you're you mark the loser yay is that his job oh no sorry I understand can I get a load off you chamber I need to keep gambling to make my money my my rich League player friend one two three oh win win child's baseball game get 50,000 let's go all this money feels meaningless when chamers sitting next to you with 800k I don't know this this money means a lot to me where's the league stack here we go now before you draw this card chamber you may notice the league the league stack is thinner than any of the other Stacks you may find out why will I die at age 27 or something like that oh go sh's Shuffle it let's Shuffle it over to some Rockstar Energy Drinks oh [Music] shame I told you it's realistic the game is realistic wait why I negative what oh I don't know who did that somebody did that so you have 810,000 but I'm afraid you've lost this career uh draw a new job draw a new job all the good jobs Tak du buy Boop truck driver that's a pretty good one that's not bad wow imagine you're like the highest on the high you're like a leak player world you go to Dubai to drive the food truck I know next UPS the Burge Khalifa The Burge Khalifa sh it's fine it's it's a normal it's a normal career progression he's still carrying his team he's providing more to society in this role than he was in his last one it's true right it's true um [ __ ] I I lost it that was chamber right I'm playing why the green pegs why are the green pegs now pink what the [ __ ] oh does this bring out pink pegs oh it does oh cuz it is it is just a recolored pink Peg you have to recolor the peg itself I guess what was the point recolor the thing it would recolor what comes out of it I was wrong why would we need green pegs like radioactive children what is the point I going a r i going to roll yeah yeah but Chambers had his like entire life already Yes in one turn just like a real leak Pro just like a real one this is going to be a w actually watch this oh you [Laughter] no Unfaithful I need to get back on the Wind streak big money two three four so either you go here or you go here if you uh if you land on a a symbol if somebody else holds that job you have to pay them 25,000 so you hold that job however if you go to the other way you would have to pay chamber 25,000 so I don't think there's really a there's not much of a choice there's not much why would you ever go this way what's the [ __ ] point more pay days I need a job oh yeah okay take it J here we go first call it wait is this shuffled wait oh n that's fine that's groom of the stool groom of the stool this was definitely not worth it you need a degree for that do people know what a college job how is this a college job groom of the stool was the person who was nearest the king who helped them [ __ ] and it was a very very important job because it meant you got to be close to the king in their most intimate moment you could like whisper in their ear kind of thing well actually it's a queen now no it isn't it's it's the Queen yeah the queen this is what year is it chamber are are you applying this this video is years old and it's taking me this long to edit possibly it's true this this Corona virus has got me worried guys do I get paid for passing over payday yeah he got payday you get a you get a second calculator which is how much money you actually have on you tell me he doesn't pay the debt instantly will keep going up until he pays the debt off wait how do you pay the debt uh you just you just uh pay some of the debt on your turn oh no Mo's deciding to take the slow route oh no that good in [Laughter] there exactly like the game of life this is exactly like how life is oh man it's too real it's too real you plugged out of school and became a telemarketer it you still have a chance if you go on a loop-de-loop and lose your job you might be able to become a league player I think as say he fugged out of college for playing League too much trying to make it I went straight into the the league to telemarket pipeline real Jesus [Laughter] Christ oh my God it was just the phras you could still go the loop to Loop and become a league player the most prestigious job in the deck uh maybe it pays a bit too much maybe a Balan test would have been no it's fine it's fine here okay well what's the okay so what's the conversion rate from from [ __ ] I had a hold on I had the Page open um I actually do have it's like something like 5,000 no you forgot you forgot the 6 pillings and six pens six no you're right you're right it was supposed to be six okay okay this card actually does not work if it's not six so pretend that says6 lb uh it would not work it would not work it's funny I think it's funnier if he just don't makes less don't that it's literally only 200 for that's what that's what you get play league in college [ __ ] studying is it that's what I'm saying too this is this is what you do you don't apply yourself to your studies no no getting it's not it's not much more it's only like he only gets like5 $5,000 a year which is still not great um by any standards but I the reason I'm saying it has to be 6B is that the cards in that deck are have a lot to do with six lb so right we'll say it's 6B it's fine it's fine oh [ __ ] my turn no it's two two who am I paying money I don't I don't want to pay either pay the [ __ ] man sh you already have too much money The Gambler yes 25,000 straight to the Gambler was it 25,000 how why look look linkx has gone from zero to 25 I'm back in I I won I scamed him I was counting cards and friendly poker game I can't believe it my friendly poker game where the Saks are 25k what kind of high rollers are we I didn't we're making P You're an Eggman and I'm a gambler we're not making wise F actual decisions are we Eggman and gambl my next book L poker my go all right yeah's on the Move four one two three four oh stop job oh oh risky this could be risky what does it do which which one you could lose it all this one oh okay yeah you could gain it all all right let's see I I'm feeling a big win I just scammed my friend bigone big this is no a not too bad not too bad you spend like crazy at a casino and hopes you might get into the VIP Suite however as you begin to Ser up you realize you're not in Caesar's Palace but you're in your local Little Caesar lose 20 I like how local Little Caesars is in greed that's a good thing you win some you lose some I mostly lose I lost the all my egg money gone wait but didn't didn't you go over um the payday oh I did oh he did though yeah he's got 15 5,000 then and then at end of the turn so multiply by the interest rate so interest is at end of turn okay cool it looks much better back it's not too bad it's not too bad see College can be worth it Teddy did get one of the worst jobs but it could be worth it what do you mean I'm co-workers with chamber one two three four [ __ ] I collect the [ __ ] I sell the king [ __ ] the groom of the stool to to buy poop truck driver pipeline oh goodness oh yeah my interest what you're kidding me what are these [ __ ] L rules this guy going to be in college while the rest of are retiring Noel's going to be in college until he's 60 this one for later it's a it's a surprise C that will help us later your oldest child is destroyed me not true I will say at the end of the I haven't I haven't explained right uh it's it's Whoever has the most money at the end wins but uh you get $50,000 for every child in your car at the end um they're a good thing to have all how does that compute what are we doing with these children to get that 50 don't ask questions tell no lies did you did you move to Uber Uber I get money from the payday but I lose all of it and oh true so you get six oh yeah yeah so minus about minus 5,000 from that then total remember your debt can I have another calculator for my oh yeah he dates another calculator how much how much is his how much is his payday so he he got about I'm I'm guesstimating 5,000 based on the currency conversion right bro is getting paidy blind money like hello he just lost 10K so he's so now he has now he has two separate debt counters can you become bankrupt or how much interest is on the other counter you can just be forever in depth yeah you can be forever in depth but obviously that would put you last if you get to the end so right that's all that will happen you will be able to make it to the end of life just like a real de you just won't win it's not looking up though I'm just going to say m money strugling maybe there's opportunities for Upward progression at telemarketing I don't know two three four five oh stop and get married you're married pay much more important yeah it's got a traditional marriage no no no no no no no do I not get to oh boy it's a themed wedding where is P there weather outside is hello new married feces Oh one take the L oh [ __ ] new love has dirty sewer at out the streets if you do not have a partner take it as your partner yes Nega five morale please let me get a job please you get a job a Payday and a stop job all at once no no you get the payday cuz you get this job oh oh good job it's a good job uhoh you have hit on take half a Payday next time you come on okay I'm never getting out of here another L another l no way still oh no it's going take the L say this for later all right let's go I'm ready to win big again actually oh yeah true he skips past get married yeah oh can I skip it can I just go all right skipping no skipping I want to I want to practice yeah why not I I don't see any Rat King it you know Rat King it Rat King another rat rat too oh novel will novel get a job today I'm going to roll another one watch out all right all right you you've done it you get to draw from this deck and you get a Payday and you do a stop job oh let's go he actually drew the worst one in the dech Noel's on that [ __ ] loser role play holy [ __ ] I think you'll find that being a train driver is very good I shut up you you did it strike has G well car to gain an extra $372 on your next pay hell yeah hell yeah I mean okay who's going to actually pay off their student loans I don't have any money I'm literally a double debt double debt look you could be mo oh mo go to stop job okay being dis oh no it was like an 190 something oh my God can you imagine flunking out of college and then taking a telemarketing job and then your par it should be this someone watching this video probably has that a care trajectory I'm sorry whoever you are is your paycheck even enough to be interest Noel nope that's how it goes I can't believe why why do they have to go to college to be a [ __ ] train conductor 20,000 highly technical role you got you two rolled the worst jobs on that list I think love applications have you went to University in America and they'd got a job in the [ __ ] German trade system I know I have half a Payday now woohoo so it's still 60k it's still double what normal would make on a full payday I hate that that's even you should learn to code novel you should just go learn to code not for you [ __ ] suck man your life is awful he just wants to hit every single tile in this game he wants to visit every tile you've sacrificed your firstborn like an eldrich being to become a German train driver and a grown another testicle what is going on with your life man oh my God what is how does it how does it keep getting worse you and are like competing for biggest losers in the world Mo at least can roll through Mo at least can beat children at baseball Mo got yeah 50,000 let's go Mo think about that that's 10 paydays mod add more money all right Teddy it's you if he loses his job here he's in so oh he did one two three does that mean I get a new job you get a new job you do you only get a new job when you pass this one it's true it's true um you don't get a new job until you pass that thing three get married congratulations I was watching all this happen like no chance will never Watch Me Hit a one are you ready [ __ ] pers this watch God no fuing get him out of here he just ages very slowly also go text Jen go text Jen go text Jen you read you read the card go text Jen make sure make sure he's doing all right in the hospital don't forget your Deb novel oh I'll do it for you don't worry about it while he text his J just on his debt oh it's getting so bad though oh my God keep going up um my latest work has sadly transformed my genitalia into that of a cockroach much to my surprise your partner is into a gain a new child yeah let's go yeah my [ __ ] turn got skipped I just okay I'm just going to do my I'm just going to to do my interest now I plus 5K I forgot where your job was just be I I I mean you know who knows Mo just has to roll below a four on the next pass and he'll lose that job and he'll be okay and so far the less Lessons Learned From This are don't go to university yeah College sucks Gamble and play league all one two 3 4 both at the same time if you're really good I lost my job poop more feces Oh no he has a chance to pick League again he'll become League it's true he could pick League player again all right time for more gambling related Shenanigans lyns has the riskiest stop jobs and he's done well so far oh unlucky get out of here damn that sus hundreds of people cover you like vultures and you lose all your money ruined lost it all it could be worse L it could always be worse how am I going to support my two rat wives what your [Music] child yet two rat wives yeah I get a new a job a new job you went to college yeah I did inde trust F baby remove all College de what college what no he's lday I'm also on payday yeah and a Payday as well so 500k in the main day it's so good and we just delete the debt there you go Teddy jumps from third last to second place in one Fell Swoop maybe there is something to this whole College thing I don't know best job out of college I have to say start the gambling may not be a to be fair to be fair it could be worse he could be a train driver true yeah you could work dver all right are you ready are you ready for the one are you ready for the one winner you keep doing it it's rigged actually no way [ __ ] rigged man oh my god oh no you're fine you lose your job lose your job tele marketing is over you're still disowned though let's keep remembering that that's fine no the latest study you put has made you go ball just like hit character at least no my wife unnamed woman is gone it's just me and the kids uh yeah it's chamber now four four oh oh you get a new job you get a new job you pass the thing oh [Laughter] 2000 the poop business chamus Chambers leverag in his Skil the only way is up hold on hold on hold on that's 2,000 uh pounds to USD 2,500 it's 2500 bucks almost to the dollar aine latrine pit inspector is the happiest job on Earth though look at look at him look at him he's so cute a oh sorry I was renaming my children no that is not a young shield in reference I see no um linkx Hilux time to win it all back baby let's go three to have a child another one oh wait no I've not had one yet another one which rat is having the child rat one or rat two t rat human hybrid [ __ ] monstrosity a one two three no I've been fired oh no that's good Wait no that's good I think lose job and I missed the next payday though [ __ ] job did you lose oh medical stud effici that's actually probably all right uh considering so when I when I reroll I'm going to have to put telemarketer in there temporarily cuz I haven't had telemarketer so I might there might be a chance I get it I hope I find some nfts I need my Apes oh sh I got paid that or the trust fund baby surely there can't be any more bad things have a job though don't you want children what job do you have okay oh my God and you took did you take stop job you took stop job I was going to lose everything again I'm rolling the dice baby he really is no more children no rat human hybrid no human Hy I'm sorry I'm sorry rat human hybrid you D like a driveby or can he win back his child later no the house house always wins The House Always Wins oh [ __ ] hell lost forever all my child gone how am I going to explain this to my rat wives they're going to be furious you everybody except me PR rolling rolling rolling two two free space free space oh he just wony walked there he's alone in his car I real have anybody [Laughter] well it does say so on his um true it does it does say on your job to the UN you really does say that we're going to have train drivers writing in saying like hey I'll have you know I once experienced love in mind I'm going to get letters from Angry Germans angry Germans and how you know my career is very forfill all right this goes back in there from that job in the world baby AP urine collector I get 35k that's not bad yeah that's actually based in Dundee the a collector makes as much as the trade driver no no not just a trade gerver let's clarify a trade driver a German trade driver let not let's not get ahead of ourselves P five take the L the Egg Factory is not done yet okay novel you need to change your Melissa no Melissa no Sheldon's younger than M yeah yeah milis is older by like three minutes know the lore he doesn't know the lore he I can't believe you do that P all right Sheldon it's it's been nice trusted you it's been nice shell gong Cooper is gone put to put next to the rat it's the child graveyard the graveyard wait a minute wait a minute I have I have an idea you know they say there we go it's the gra it's the graveyard where did you get that image from did you have that on hand no I Googled Yu-Gi-Oh graveyard and that was the first result I have another child pogers you 2500 bucks as well as Aberdine latrine pit inspector I have a feeling that's what he would actually say like I was going to say be your IRL reaction when you have a no I just I just found them in the the pit I just get to keep them his girlfriend will come over with the [ __ ] pregnancy try would just go pogers pogers now the pregnancy she you got a gamer a gamer brand pregnancy test that spells poggers if it's positive no it's got like rgbs on itgb lighting it says po if it's a boy and pgina if it's a girl and a g Fel sponsorship comes with your child like a life like a life twitch chat two in reaction oh four where is PED oh he's there pday oh another child another child another child and another pday look what look what it's like when you don't just roll once it's insane all right we can't get Sheldon back but maybe we can get you know sheld where's I really love whoever marked the children's graveyard you're welcome oh one one lose your job he's lost his job I did it I did it I lost my job so bad that you've been fired from DB and stop J okay so you get um Let me let me oh I love the these cards as well aine one is called small [ __ ] I think small yeah [ __ ] man there you go 2,000 salary oh my God it's not great it's in pounds though it's all good in reality find a small diamond when cleaning out the pit unfortunately made of plastic you you managed to sell it to a small child in the kota's parking lot gain $2 you're still living off your [ __ ] League residuals I true I don't know what you're on about I just made all my money in doing what I love now you expecting [ __ ] inine oh it's much deeper than that from a professional support player to [ __ ] it's it's really good it's really good hours I can work from home and the you from home are you telling me that the it's your home you live there look at him there's there's like a pipeline installed in my house I can look up and I can inspect the poop as it comes in look up somebody ring [ __ ] you can take a [ __ ] shower truly incredible what a life chamber vile individual life you you just don't understand not that but like pedo has just been actually it's salary like my steady job in the Egg Factory let's go yeah not one's he's playing well he's still not as rich as me though no all he's done is drop one egg drop one egg you've been working at a [ __ ] job for years you not been promoted I can't complain with 75k to be fair no ambition no ambition says The Gambler where is ambition God you nov where are you what the how I'm there I'm I'm dreading I'm dreading getting my first child they'll be obliterated immediately join young Sheldon back from the grave need to be obliterated instantly who the hell is Young Sheldon wh I don't have that problem anymore oh yeah you're your child is gone my child got sold to gambling casino Bosses 2 3 4 lose okay so I lose my job do I want to lose my job yeah actually I do want to lose my job so I get a Payday and I lose my job he wants to be the league player I want the league player bucks I got to say one two three four stop job stop job have to stop there anyway egg egg it's egg time egg time oh egg event seriously proud of those eggs oh you dropped an egg only th only a thousand too bad not too bad all of them just going to be this dropping egg I have a hunch I have a hunch uh Teddy stop job uhoh okay this could be bad wait wait wait wait wait I the trust fun baby deck is an interesting deck to have dis owned dis owned no way oh oh wait but he keeps all his money true but he but he does does lose his college degree cuz it's not real his parents paid for it what yeah nice excuse me oh wait he instantly draws a new one from the non College pile he does he does okay so I will simply highlight and delete the cards they're gone cuz they don't uh it doesn't come back that job okay now draw from it mcdonal League player medical study empi there we go new new job new job new job for novel okay wait wait wait wait y yep Shuffle iron fers good pay oh my God two two salaries and he's I love radio head he made that joke already I know but I was really proud of it the first time bring it up again this guy after consuming a tremendous amount of human feces you decide to see K pay 15,000 for therapy you sure this game isn't written by [ __ ] Chad GC as well I wrote that one a rolling where's the dice tower [ __ ] off your dice Towers no no [ __ ] no you have to draw a card and I have yeah and I have to draw a stop job please don't be bad oh my employee CAU I I I from now on I get one less pound per payday how much is that that's negative no five now I get5 pound six shillings and six you see why it needs six oh yeah yeah because six of the cards say minus one pound on them no way you do not want to have this I passed payday though so I get but this was before this so I do still get 5,000 one two three four two pay oh two P gambling pays plus 300 no I've been overtaken look at these poverty stricken people one more that's 30,000 I'm almost in the highy rollers Club all from Gamblin I love Gamblin so much I who's the piss piss man you get 25,000 oh no again I thought you no so sorry the UR AP urine collector gets 25,000 okay let's go that pulls him out of debt all single day for a minute to be fair 50% of the college goers pulled themselves out of debt so 50% is not bad that's a much higher rate than I was thinking when I made this rule I didn't go to college no no you didn't go to college you dropped out you out five oh I oh no wait I was already here good one two three um ped it's my turn it's either a Payday or a Payday and stop job you know what we'll take the risk oh my God I'm going drop egg drop another egg drop egg how bad will it be this time how bad can I be oh my God what he got the golden egg read it out read it I'm not reading that [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah look there's like five excellence in you have been such an excellent worker your excellent boss has proceeded to give you an excellent bonus of $200,000 excellent dollars excellent but are they real dollars or are they excellent dollars gambling six so either you go one 2 3 4 5 6 to here or 1 2 3 4 5 6 to here oh I'm not going that way 2 three four five six to here well either way you have to stop go there no I'm going to go here cuz I uh is that actually six one but you're going to have to stop for this job yeah I've got to stop for that but if I go up here I stop for I've got to stop you this six this is six if you got you're the gam you are the gamer you should gamble you should G I've got to stop for the next the next card is probably going to be like double your money or something so it's so true it's so true come on Ms you can't stop I'm gambling he's gambling oh no the way the [ __ ] car flip oh my god oh no this doesn't bone well uh what's it going to be then how bad is it going to be there's only so many cards left oh that's all red you raise and train a horse from birth to be the greatest race horse ever however as he's grown up he's developed narcolepsy you've lost 80,000 on him but he is a great friend and a great comfort while you cry a bottle of tequila every night wow some of these hit too close to home like true that's so real I saw that Oni horses can get narps it's a real it's a real fact uh it's you maybe maybe yeah it's sorry I made Lynx a horse where is he oh that's not ly where's lyx he's over here he's over here there he is he's in sh wagon together and I'll get a new job and a Payday oh job time job time drop drop drop he's going to become train driver train driver train driver pist exact same salary yeah nice art maybe he got some [ __ ] shage on his [ __ ] stink I got already creative with that stinky piggy stiny piggy Pigg you drew the stinky Piggies I love feet cut that no a child what what child am we going to have you know you know me that's staying in wait I've lost I've completely lost it it's it's Mo now right novel just went that's no no no uh I'm the red guy in in the [ __ ] yellow bus oh what you switch people what you guys doing you guys are [ __ ] around with those cars he's packing in stop job stop job can in a normal conversation with your partner you accidentally revealed you've been collecting your favorite gorilla Rosco's hair to make a gorilla suit out of your partner decides to leave you remove their Peg from your UNL novel's dead put him in the put novel in the children's [Laughter] graveyard by novel why is he so small yeah the actual children are bigger than no life life size representation we more children in the graveyard it's like a crime fighting duel it's the rat hybrid child and Sheldon Cooper pinky in the brain yeah they're they're solving crimes up in heaven you think that went to heaven they're children Teddy whse do they the human hybrid child maybe I grant you but Sheldon Cooper no no that creature is an Abomination Straight to Hell the Beast how dare you say that God's light does not shine on sh and Cooper the rat human child kyrid was a [ __ ] Delight uh three 1 2 3 I'm taking the L you don't oh my God you tried to change a light bulb and then seriously injured yourself if you have any children pick one they are killed in the crossfire Crossfire what in a war zone or something baby pit baby pit baby get your hands out of the way how say poop then who took my who took my baby are you from New Zealand now or something it's called P baby oh my god baby my P Baby P baby oh my God wait now it's like an Evangelion reference you've got Shinji over here got as here oh my God all right m m actually biggest [ __ ] loser in the the gambling turn oh God you have to do another stop job oh God why did you how many are left I love gambling four I would B you good luck oh it's only not that's pretty good suit it's a g he made it through while gambling it's pretty impressive it's true it's actually impressive it's cuz I'm pretty sure he's already lost like all of his money like twice hasn't I have I actually have I was just looking at the odds Lynx has played this very well by trying those two cards first so you lose 100 did but um it's not too bad I love I love G robbing me at the start of the game that was all good oh I can finally pay off my debt oh my God he actually is yeah wait is then the only person who's left yeah mo mo mo is actually kind of [ __ ] because he okay the stop job are you ready and free lunch damn this is a [ __ ] vile card like when you wrote this I really want you to know that is actually like a testable card the wording is vile filled to the brim accident of the rectum yeah accident of the rect they honestly oh yeah guys where we are uh we are in a straight I earlier we in house room yeah oh wait I'm supposed to lose my child no oh yeah you're eldest just destroyed are they dead yeah it's uh finally special child the blood debt has been paid special child is going into [ __ ] thing special child special it's my special little boy and he's dead oh no he's in good company he's in Good Company one two 3 4 I get another child oh my God you stop Jes he he's got 2,000 he's got 250 $50,000 worth of children if you put it that way it's kind of good it's a little weird when you put a monetary value on it there I got to say yeah he's really five six another child and two pay two paydays holy [ __ ] we're actually rich all you brokies compared to me shut shut up boy shut the I actually still have more money than your poor ass that's true the trust the ex trust trust fun baby and the league Pro have more money than me oh well oh wowed most just sitting in the corner just crying still got ring still almost 200,000 in death oh my God I got take [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] like stop jum like taking a stop jump don't roll four everything else is fine don't roll four baby ging Ging did you know that four is the most common R number Big Money big moneyer he lost it all AP stolen oh my Apes it's over doesn't pay a oh my God link you can bring it back you can bring it back bring it back one in six chance links that was a one in six you were already you also had a one and six chance to double your lead oh my God or like Get the Lead rather [ __ ] I can't believe you actually rolled the four four one two three four oh [ __ ] I need another call and I get a Payday what do I get paid oh [ __ ] [ __ ] all that's right yeah sure lost 48 76 56 there we go I'm actually I'm itching I'm itching to get back gambling again I need to I'm sitting here sweating waiting for my turn to win back one child on The Gambler I can smell the big win on the horizon [ __ ] two 1 2 3 have a child yes I can my hybrid my Mutant is back are you like 58 years you have no kids you just have two rat wives and a horse I about that Gambler lifestyle four of you are so far behind what the hell look at me back here yeah half of us did okay the others did what can I say my life has highs and lows I'm definitely in a low right now oh [ __ ] Teddy oh Teddy no way no way wait to maybe oh no Tobe to the left wait no wait wait it's my left my left is Lynx no oh no it's not you're facing this way the gambling would have worked oh my goodness so Tedy just had to give half of his money to maybe Jesus Christ 5575 oh my God she's not going to win this again please stop winning [ __ ] sake oh yeah ahis oh four nice not another one man one uh nothing but you get a Payday though right do you get 120,000 uh so much money my goodness bro hasn't seen a dollar in his life want a DI in his career oh that's hilarious there you go take the L look at him go oh oh no has been caught in the local neighborhood meat grinder pay ,000 in medical expenses that is oh mo Bros no this guy in resid broy MO 1 two 3 four 5 six so have a child or stop job I'll do stop job wait no why did I do let me guess wow I lose another pound on my next paycheck forever that's so crazy chamers turn CH chamber oh no one else is chatting yeah nobody's [ __ ] three you're on the Gambler I would never CH for got L big ones gam again I told you I'm on the up I'm on the win on the rebound baby got less than I'm no longer a millionaire Lynx counted cards against his friends again oh my God away with this AB scumbag lifestyle you can go straight to here I'll take the double I'll take the [ __ ] double double Payday Plus 240 hell yeah oh my God novel Mo a single tear rolls down Mo's cheek look at this death uh your turn bro L take the L take the L take the L take the L L take the L you're no fun day let's go t does get a double Payday for that yeah okay we'll say that's gone and then add 16k to that and it's uh we call it we'll call it even no nobody has a college debt anymore congratulations everyone we just have regular debt yeah regular de 1 two 3 4 five six stop job stop job this is where he Los it it all oh I managed to Swindle an old grandmother out of $75 as part of a telemarketing scam you feel really genuinely awful about it gain 75 I feel bad about making money we're on the grind set what the [ __ ] 75 big ones let's go B was the best I'm sorry 75 big ones at Dollar is not big and this when you're making Shillings as you [ __ ] so real go he's got a good point there you know okay I can't believe going to end my life as a telemarketer [ __ ] damn you found a particularly large jobby in the bottom of the t a single dollar gain1 dollar I I hate I hate the word jobby it's like is just a poo you've never heard of a jobby before a poo jby it's Scottish slag for poo and I hate it it's at the other house self for Harry potby house jobby a jby finish oh my God jobby is [Laughter] free oh my [ __ ] God is that what you say when you're constipa sh is fre oh my [ __ ] god do you give jobby a new set of Underpants to set free set of socks must give jobby a flush [ __ ] me Jesus Christ Harry gave we laugh over poo for literally like a I love po absolutely [ __ ] Delirious what the [ __ ] I love poo I love [ __ ] I I just I just want it's lynx's is it oh link oh yes it's robie's turn oh my God I love gambling is gross can we name can we name one of the rats or something jby I'm pretty sure one of yeah one of my children isn't name so I'll name one of them jobby oh he's doing a stop job what is it what will it be I already have two left oh my God God big RAC this is why you gamble ladies and gentle this is why don't stop when you're down don't oh my God who knew the three-legged horse would come up from the inside like that what Sor no oh we're in the big money now big money think gambling P the kick gambling streams have paid off L you're not done yet you're not done yet oh I am I'm up I can't lose I literally can't lose one more card though no you heard him you heard him he can't lose guys he can't lose I actually can't there's no way he loses these there's no way there's no no way he lands he has to roll like a four he has to roll a four oh got four oh [ __ ] not again this before all right the [ __ ] Gambler wins I swear to God four four where you going wait are we still on so lose your job lose your job or a Payday lose job he's losing his job this he might get he might get uh League I want League four four uhoh one two wait wait I got a Payday first I got to add how much uh 0.77 I don't get much these days and then stop job okay no this is an allegory for YouTube ad Revenue yeah it really is oh my God keep sniffing cuz I I co I have [ __ ] Co while we're recording this next turn okay now it's linkx four four four four four four [ __ ] god the question is oh my God what is the last this this card what is this last card let's Shuffle it let me just get my payday quickly before I lose it all come on what you sp CS cases you got absolutely nothing 10,000 on expensive liquor L 25 so I lost so 32,000,000 I am such a winner I am such a [ __ ] winner Jus Christ next time he rolls a two take the L you will take the L oh my God take the L if if he lands on that and then it's like reduce lose all your money that would be the funniest [ __ ] in the world oh my God I don't think we rode one like that though I'm not sure either I don't remember um Teddy oh oh you need a new job now uh for stop job uh I from this one yep one Remy gets his own car he's Bing oh [ __ ] he's a pro league we got a leue let's see what could it beor your favorite Ros hands you a cool 100 Grand my God through the bars of his cage you don't know where he got it you didn't even know they made bills this big but you aren't complaining pocket 100,000 let it be known that at the 2our 49 minute Mark Mo escaped from dead let's Mo thank you finally I love you Rosco about time win thank you Ros I can't believe the Gambler is going to win money may not bring happiness but gambling definitely does remember when I told you to run to God true hey you're so true you're so true it paid off gambling pays I wish I hadn't spent my entire life working in the Egg Factory now you seen a better path I can't believe Lynx has kept this job the entire time as well he has not lost the job once I'm a gambler at heart he's almost 3 million I'm a gambler at heart what can I say what him land on this one and this one and lose allc I'm too much of a winner I literally can't lose it lose it who's making it to the retirement home first any of these probably lyx he's going early retirement gam I think yeah ear no no but has to go on the next one he doesn't have I just went and I pulled myself a stiff drink to celebrate a double a double vodka and Fanta to Cate the drink of Champions where is M okay yeah chamber went didn't he did chamber not go what no I didn't oh I I I think I'm losing it at this point jobby destroyed meby really ruined me was it a big jobby it was a really big one oh you actually get to go into the [ __ ] millionaire sh yeah I do oh he does the rat we're going to have more the I thought we would have nobody in the Chateau de billionaire that was so wrong weing Gambler the gambler's going in the High Roller I just wish I could have brought my other mutant child with me success obliterated egg events more dubious egg events you drop EG egg event egg event oh 10,000 10,000 it's only 10,000 it's only 10,000 okay this is it I'm rolling for retirement take the L take the L take the L take the L no one 2 three straight to retirement he's in okay my children so one two Mutant child my beloved three children he's only got two children I don't think the horse is a child rat two oh no so rat two is a sorry I'm sorry so it's an extra 100K it tastes sweet I can't believe how much gambling pays off I'm going to go gamble all my savings away after this you can win it big keep gambling don't quit if he actually wins he not only got to the end first but also one want go like full I'm going to take an L lose all money it's now Mo right or did how much is a child worth 50k 50k for alternate strategies now it's veil College Los uh I think I'm retiring four yeah I'm retired no you you're there aren't you no no cuz I have less than a million so I go to the okay slot um so I get one small child cockroach baby unnamed child second cockroach baby and green Marin so 250k think might actually win cuz he's going for all the he doesn't lose the league job if he doesn't lose it an in a magazine convinced you that there's research trying to undo the polio vaccine desperate for new business you took the bait the the I am long image a bit like those uh medically assisted Seaman extraction machines that they've got in the [ __ ] I think it just looks like a robot [ __ ] so you've got this is a child I've got five I've got five children so add 250k that's three of us out so ped's turn the Front Runners are almost all out of the game at this point oh could all go downhill from here paycheck paycheck paycheck there's only two cards left I have no idea what they might say could be fine though it could just be fine it's not fine oh no it's not fine stand up and do the chicken dance real you're the Eggman you've been the Eggman the whole [ __ ] game you can say I'm a bit of an it's Destiny who experience I want to hear uh grunting excuse me physically exerting exercise right you know I'm going push to talk right I hope he's doing it I really he is doing it it's [ __ ] silent from over there hello hell hey did you do it yes he's out of breath he's out of breath excellent that's what I wanted to hear excellent he said it he said it [ __ ] I did say excellent he's right Teddy could potentially still win actually could still win the game I just have to pray I don't hit any of the parts Teddy's job is crazy Teddy's job is crazy yeah but it has if he lands on a stop job it has such a high chance of being lost I want to look at my job things I might try to take the L then oh aonian person oh that this one's that one's my favorite there's a massive leak from your latrine into a nearby community swimming pool the people of abine naturally love this receive a bonus of 1,000 from the city waa that's Mega buck one two three he's done it he finished you finished the game all right four children a wife myself it's plus 200k oh CH you need another car or no you're fine what should I name this one Gary Bob baby grunk baby grunk too smaller smaller jobby small jobby small jobby one two three four five two paydays two paydays that's $820,000 oh my God he might win oh my God Tenny might end up winning the [ __ ] trust love League legun baby League player might overtake the Gambler what the [ __ ] no gam gaml has come to pass he's almost at 2.5 million well it depends it depends if he loses his if he loses the league job I still have a chance yeah but it's going to be up to these uh it's up to this stop sign here you know what I'll take the L oh you lost your youngest child and 30 grand that's really bad wait wait really yeah little small small chubby small chubby chubby not to the children crazy he was flushed away he was flushed away look how small don't SC it don't SC it don't SC it almost as small as his father one nice one Teddy get 50 Grand the rich just get richer really do oh god oh he's creeping up five take the L with a Payday yeah Mo's being [ __ ] promiscuous look all this fu yeah me and Rosco have been going [Laughter] crazy you cheated on Rosco you you cheated cheated on [ __ ] deserve that I'm so sorry do Ros leave now Ros done for you is Rosco leaving no he he doesn't leave they're going to work through this one they're going to work through it I can't believe you cheated on Rosco Teddy it's just what he said beforehand as well he was one two 3 four so either stop job or or have a child have a child oh [ __ ] are you g to have Dr Watson or whatever the oncologist is called Dr Watson isn't Shrek Shrek wait Shrek becomes the detective in one of them or something you wov what movie is that this remember Shrek home and his pal Dr wat Shrek Shrek shre hes Shrek hes you Dr Watson my youngest child got destroyed yes loser is gone that's a fat that yet another member of the children's graveyard all your money has fallen down the foot oh yeah this is it if teddy gets a five or a six all right Teddy this stop job decides Tedd I think yeah money yeah cuz he gets money um plus 410 so he's below links this has to be bad or he beats links oh oh no no Teddy still wins yeah Teddy still wins Teddy still wins there's still another one on the map true if he rolls a one if he rolls a one he loses his job that's the only chance now for for The Gambler big money The Gambler there's also this smells a lot like gambling to me honestly he has to roll one it's true he could lose all like give half of his money to maybe again I will cry a thousand years I will crying I would win I wouldbe would actually hate that oh God oh God let me check the script hold on you can't do this to me you can't do this to me six oh my God one what color is done that's it straight to straight to you're okay with me so you get one 2 3 4 5 so plus 250k which means Mo finishes on 468,000 what a Brokey [ __ ] loot no wonder they dis Ed you [Laughter] my lose half your paycheck four lose half your stop job oh it's stop job okay he gets a Payday 410k do that first no no no no no no half half oh half it's half it's half 205 we're all watching me strug to he's over he's over it's this card it's this card wow wow W oh he's lost his career though he has lost his career and he needs to draw a new career still take some LS it could still be it's fine it's fine it's fine he doesn't lose his money though yet we don't know yeah he has to draw a new career right now though that's that's my that's my career trajectory I iing pipeline League to [ __ ] League to poop truck driver pipeline is real I I I gave him career advice oh my God uh maybe had what two children three so I add 150k and that's your final score is there somebody behind me what the [ __ ] always be behind he's been taking his sweet time y this novel we're going to take our sweet ass time with this take all the money from Teddy uh R you been and you struggling out here all right and do you know what just cuz it's uh the very end I am demanding that this be a new job as well has to be one we've not had before haven't we haven't technically had this one but let's not let's not do the manager I want to see the [ __ ] yeah oh look at that that's a disgusting picture that's a beautiful picture professional surate w one Teddy's taking an l oh all be over not you're fine lose 15K though one one really are [ __ ] taking this slow [ __ ] it's going as slowly as possible n gain this uh this round is it in the scripts that he loses one again anyway matter yes Ste child your most recent client was unsatisfied with your product despite a take one from the graveyard no you can't take a child from the craveyard can return it from the sh's been dead for years I'm going to tell you right now the professional surrogate mom is like an alternate strategy because almost all of those cards will give you a child alternate Str what's the meta here but you could like instead of paydays you could be racking up children to oh he really on every every single of these things the script hey it wasn't red so I couldn't see it 50,000 that's it though Teddy's definitely won one come on Jesus CHR up the kids up theid I win 200 200 extra yeah oh yeah I forgot about the [ __ ] kids he gets an extra 200k it's literally just noral now one three one two three one last take the L for the r lose everything one last L lose give everything to the player on your life no the car's extended warranty made it at last and that's it 250k at store these millionaires in the end number one links is second very close second followed by maybe yep then novel then chamber no sorry then pedo then chamber then me and then Mo narrowly beat Mo in the end cuz [ __ ] telemarketing job it sucks so bad honestly if there's one thing we can take away from this whole session it's don't go to college play league a gamble oh my God what are the remainder of my cards hold on holy [ __ ] oh yeah you could look at the rest of your egg cards I got pretty lucky I guess you really did you didn't get hit either of these and those are deadly was I the only one that didn't change job the entire you know I also didn't oh no true sorry Eggman Eggman didn't either but you didn't even get through all your cars D there was some yeah look look at this one 200,000 Jesus gambling did pay let me enable the um the the required table flip sorry it's actually been on the whole time Teddy take it away go on Teddy you can do it hey Teddy congratulations League it turns out leue League pays play League of Legends kids that's the real leg play league and gamble maybe both at the same time if you really want to maximize returns that's so real [Music]
