I Made a Board Game to Torture People

well you are now everyone goes back to start all future speech of yours must be sung to the tune of god save the queen go back one space now i am not a cruel man you know i am so glad that i found out that i enjoy this i always thought making youtube videos was my passion but no turns out it was creating torture devices this is not the first time i've put some effort into torturing my friends but this time is a bit different you've probably heard of the game tabletop simulator before especially if you saw us playing insane monopoly a couple of months ago as the name implies it lets you play pretty much any board game you could imagine online and this made me realize what was stopping me from making my own the inspiration came when we were browsing the steam workshop for a new game to play and came across something called impossible game it's essentially just a joke where a lot of the spaces make you go back to the start or do something stupid but i saw something in this i saw potential we played a few games of it but they only lasted about 45 minutes not nearly long enough for delirium and insanity to truly set in i wanted to make something far more annoying and far longer and so i present to you veilfisk's amazing board game now the best part about this is that you don't actually need to sit there while i explain the rules for 20 minutes because i didn't tell any of the players the rules either i gathered together a whopping 10 people to play this game and i told them absolutely nothing the plan was actually to just have them roll the dice and play the game and when anything came up i explained how it would work that means i also have a good explanation for all of the mechanics like what cards you draw and what extra boards you go to just embedded in the video by default so i'll leave the rules out of the intro and you can pick them up as we go all you might want to know is pretty obvious your goal is to get to the end you roll the dice and you move your piece in the direction of the arrows simple enough i should mention though that 3 of these 10 players did participate in a test beta game because as i suspected the game was very unbalanced and actually impossible to complete thankfully that one test run allowed me to refine this into a playable experience this did mean a few people knew what was in store but they didn't bother warning anyone else anyway i should also as always warn you about microphone quality which will become pretty apparent at times it's actually not anywhere near as bad as it usually is given that there's like a dozen people in this call but occasionally those people who live down a well and are using an antique radio as a mic on discord will seep through with that however i think we're pretty much good to go let's get this circus started yes but we're actually forcing maybe to play because she's hungover that's the point yeah the entire point of the video is to make maybe do things while hungover that's the point that's why we're doing it today yeah listen the [ __ ] up all right sit down uh you may notice there is absolutely nothing on this board other than the board itself there's no cards there's no piece there's no pieces there's nothing at all this is because i have everything saved as an object that i can drag into the game and as we go i'm going to introduce mechanics as things happen so uh first we're gonna need to pick uh a a piece for you so let me just uh drag those in oh candy candy spawn in the piece you used yesterday for me there's candy there he is can we put the top hat on the cockroach it's levitating above it look it's the spiffing brit [Laughter] here in the flesh firing for the exoskeleton i guess i'm going to spawn in we're going to just go in order from uh top which means team odd goes first so you have two paths to pick uh it's up to you pain you'd like pain all right time to bring in the pain cards all right now i will draw let's see oh shane well that's introducing a mechanic we haven't gotten to yet which is the gregor samsung buck i hate this right well we haven't done that yet so you're lucky you get away with it oh no oh no oh dear chamber that is very unfortunate um [Music] shut up uh the joke here is uh vale fisk sending back let's uh let's pull this card off and see what you get oh we got to introduce the character wheel all right listen i have a wheel of funny characters if you have to spin the character wheel you then have to until your status is changed impersonate the character oh my god also before uh we also have a new new thing from the beta testers uh your your character your token is going to be replaced with one of these you will you will be impersonating one of these funny characters he's right there next to tom scott and joe biden oh oh very unfortunate candy you've rolled yoda why is charles de gaulle here what do you mean who speaks french charles the girl is a funny character charles de gaulle on right charles de gaulle right in between general grievous and patrick bateman click and drag click and drag and then press r oh yeah now we get the uh well now no here's the thing we decided was that character wheel and accent wheel uh surplant each other so if you have to spin either of them after already having one your new one replaces it because we discovered it is basically impossible to impersonate people while also doing an accident you can't yeah you basically just can't speak oh congratulations teddy you will now be speaking in a funny german accent i'm gonna okay you know what pain it is i'm scared oh unlucky unlucky baby it's time to go to the clown board you're going to the clown board until you can get to the escape circle uh when you get to the escape circle on the con board you get to go back to the start of the actual board let me just pull in let me just pull in the clown board for us this is beautiful now i also have to explain you see this squiggly line here a squiggly line is only a way you can go if you land on the square keep going round and round until you can land on start then you can either pick to keep following that or you can go that way oh my god and are there multiple clown ports yes in other words you're going round and round in circles until you land on start again ah it's time for you to get your first gregor sam's a buck uh let me just pull those in oh greg your samsung book there it is signed by kafka himself i like the fact that this note isn't league with tender for oh that's job yeah candy made this you'll notice he he actually sent me an updated version with the correct apostrophe on that text i also forget who who's the who's the other guy the treasurer of the united states what signature was that again adoptee oh it's good i forgot i am on pain i'm in pain all right you need to make a defense for uh a narco primitivism now and if it you don't defend it well enough you go back to start my main defense is i [ __ ] hate money i just i hate i hate legal tender can we just like go back to bananas and rocks he wants bloons tower defense sex and really i do we're gonna go for pain [ __ ] it really unfortunate to get that against panagio you have to play bullet chess against teddy yes play against me oh no chamber because chambers and last he's on the clown board yeah i think if pedigree somehow loses he'll be sent to the clown board that's true oh my god yes [Music] i like the silence it's pretty good watching i'm just moving [Laughter] as you can see black black got flagged all right so that means pedestrian real surprise there that the person rated 1800 rapid won against an anonymous player so if you win you move back a space unfortunate back to [Laughter] shut up yoda go back to the swamp you [ __ ] swamped gremlin oh you're on the clown board i forgot those are all direct quotes from the uh one page on the aux cast wiki uh oh except that one what does it mean though nothing you were simply going around in circles until you get to leave actually no you just timed out ten minutes because of the spam i'm reactionary okay andy thank you for the one i do my policies i cannot believe oh you're unredacted okay now it's time to explain uh one of my favorite uh types of cards here do you draw a card novel and uh flip it over for us no you're not gonna know what that means right now i am not a cruel man and i'm going to actually give you the ability to find the answer for this we're going to drag this over here this this armpit here is the redacted card play field here i'm i'm not a cruel man i'm going to give you uh 60 seconds on this timer here uh to find these seconds to find the answer to this question now and again i'm going to provide you with the ability to find the answer the answer is in one of these one of these redacted cia documents has the answer to your question and you have uh 60 seconds to find the answer to your question go you have 30 seconds you're 30 seconds to find the answer crumpling napoleonic uh uh empire should clarify some of these pdfs are like 200 pages long oh my [ __ ] god these are the pdfs you guys were talking about the whole time yeah yeah [ __ ] god yeah yeah i'm a bit personally i'm a big plan a fan of con plan 8888 yeah compliant 88 is actually quite great or the man as it's a good start would have been to look for the document titled cia-bigb6622 uh no no he's playing on the hardcore difficulty yeah you're not allowed to even look at the car what's your nightmare oh i'm out of time i'm afraid you go back his face oh seoul time for an accident and i have to go back on space what's so saxon oh please don't land on uh it's german again this is the worst he's absolutely amazing teddy has like a lab coat and an eye patch and he's making some death ray in a lab somewhere be nine turn five one two three four pain pain oh god roll a d20 and move back that many spaces oh my god one two spain again [Music] [Laughter] for now on sam you roll with a d20 and if you roll one through and nine you get to go forward ten to twenty you go backwards oh my gosh and then what afterwards you roll with the d6 no this is permanent uh did maybe go yeah i know what [ __ ] i cannot even do one push-up you fail if you fail you go back to start okay but how do i prove it though uh we need to hear a real physical effort over the microphone if you'd like it you can skip it you can't skip you can simply you can simply fail and go back to start do it needs to be continuous because then i know i'll fail yes i'll try i guess we don't hear anything there's no where's the effort [Music] good effort maybe but i'm afraid you failed it's fine it doesn't sound fine to me i know shut up i'm now going to explain how the merchant works so with your money you can buy these things yeah just press uh cue press q and e to see it it's in screen yeah it's inscription yes it is inscription oh my god i feel puking up oh i swear if my board game has actually made someone physically sick i'll be so happy only ten dollars to force somebody to go back to start [Laughter] now the only other thing i need to make note of is the start actually is also a merchant as well if you get sent back to start and you have money you can buy something from the this would be very useful for someone who said who say has been doing an accent or a character for like an hour and a half and really want to get rid of it or like sam who currently is stuck rolling with a d20 all right virtual now you can roll unlucky man are you pulling out a [ __ ] like sheet for him to use no no he he needs he can go to the imdb page himself and find the question he could just say i have a bad feeling i have a bad feeling about don't get cocky kid nice shot kid one in a million pain oh no the words made up oh no wait they'll if you're already subscribed do you have to unsubscribe no you have to pay pal me ten dollars directly into my bank account yoda yoda is that the merchant wait isn't candy the one with a [ __ ] ton of money he's six dollars first stop no more yoda theoretically all right if i were to if i were to send chamber back for six spaces yes he would go he would go back to the clown board if you sent him backwards give you a chance okay tell us a joke i don't care um i don't care if i'm staying on the clown board because nothing none of these bad things will happen to me i'll just go keep going round and round and vocal waste your entire afternoon oh are you gonna spend your five candy i'm thinking think faster it's a bit difficult for me i'd just like to say it's been an hour and no one has actually exited the start yet you know what i'll keep my money all right uh peta joe oh it's time for the paradox questions crucial oh it's time for the return of the paradox quiz show oh god it feels so wrong to not be speaking like yoda now now you have to tell me what silhouette uh that is of and then what game it's from um that's the united kingdom from uh hearts are in four no i'm sorry that is the united kingdom from hearts of iron one i'm afraid you'll go back a space and you don't get to use the merchant either it's just like old times it's just like old times it really is just like it's beautiful oh you're no longer german soul you're something worse oh no all right they landed on shrek it landed um all right all right what are you doing in this one oh my god uh maybe it's baby's turn are you alive still you did you did you die no you're alive i i took a painkiller okay don't worry you get to go to the safe zone now yes oh my god a second you're taking a painkiller but hold on is that a performance enhancing drug oh those aren't those aren't banned those aren't banned oh teddy you or a loved one have been diagnosed with mesothelioma you die lose all negative effects and go back to start no i don't care anymore you may not you were literally in first place as well i hate it i hate it all future speech of yours must be sung to the tune of god save the queen go back one space and unfortunately there's some irony in making a scott do that why do i have to do this i don't want to do it please no more [Music] okay i'm spinning [Laughter] a little smiley as well one two three four you're either here or here let's go with the pain you're on this pain you now have to speak like a caveman um yeah like that that's perfect yeah we haven't even landed on the other there's still a full card deck missing what is it the christian one i'm not sure yeah no one's landed on christ before actually i think he went no no never mind oh paradox quiz show you get to do the paradigm show oh name that dlc a classic category this one adds a domestic and economic overhaul it changed the game's feel and it was met with mixed reviews wealth of nations so he has answered wealth of nations for eu4 let me just uh quickly check here now i'm afraid uh this was actually the new deal brought in by fdr to the united states wrong dlc sorry how much does it cost the dlc uh some billions chambers a quick question from me well if i only say one word to say philosophy to the tune has to be like one of the notes i guess okay [Music] start moving then 17. i want to watch all of it one two three four five six seven eight nine i think no one's straight up just put them back at this no you don't go that way 11 12 13 14. 15 16 17 there thank you and then return to start or be on the pain it's your choice there you go uh you're gonna have 60 seconds to find the answer to what covering of the product is used in mil dash c-744072c and to clarify mild-7-44072-c is the military manual for the cooking of brownies in the defense department of defense sorry the department of defense manual for cooking brownies has anyone actually managed to do this in the test game yes yeah i'm so sorry so if you go back to the if you go back to the first page of this article you will see uh it says at the top there this is a cockle it covered brownie oh yes so it's uh i don't know the department of defense doesn't hire people who can spell i guess oh well i guess i go back once you know it's legitimate it's time to bring in clown board number two i should clarify for anyone who hasn't seen the crypt video that the last torture video i made was a lot like this one except instead of a board game i made a full video game it was a horror game entirely designed just to gaslight and annoy the player as you can guess it was called crypt and this extra board is based on that the [ __ ] board has some uh interesting rules that will only be revealed teddy knows what they are because he has spent he has suffered in the past but uh for everyone else you will find out what the [ __ ] board does once teddy gets to the inner ring oh it's time to play musical chairs now i could do this correctly uh but instead i'm gonna play it through my phone through my microphone because i think it's funny it is humorous stop kind of music is it gonna be is it your weirdest music or it's the paradox quiz show so it'll be from a paradox game oh i see i don't know i know this one i know this one very well travel the new world okay you are just making i'm afraid not that was uh the song kings in the north which is from vail fisk's paradox quiz show episode 1. oh yeah who were the contestants uh boccoan and isp i was there oh that was a great episode i was there [Music] oh i forgot he's been talking at star wars quotes the entire [ __ ] game pain i've completely forgotten about that unfortunate uh circle worst thing is to get an accent and then get out uh even worse now you have to do star wars quotes while in character oh god but i hope you get yoda yoda it's gonna later it landed on shrek again you have to do star wars quotes and shrek there's quite a few star wars characters yeah like shrek he's from star wars yoda glop shitto palpatine charles de gaulle chelsea [Music] uh yeah he was in the rebels yeah he was in the resistance with general solo who's this that's christopher walken oh christopher walken oh very unfortunate t want to get such an obscure little movie oh [ __ ] it's the fugitive i'm lucy it's my favorite ford film what do you mean [Laughter] i'm so sorry candy you will now be rolling with a coin from this moment forward what if it lands on the side also one it says every flip is equal to one so no matter what he does he only moves one oh okay one dollar to get rid of the pain and suffering you know you no longer have to use uh the d20 either good for you i can't wait for the uh for now [Laughter] back back to uh caveman speak you go i guess solas just rolled uh mel gibson from braveheart [ __ ] you just have to do a bad scortish [Music] oh unfortunate so now in in addition to only speaking in star wars quotes while shrek you need to end every sentence with a car noise play 2488 your turn is skipped until you reach 2048. yeah that's right richard i don't care playing this in the steam web app thing it's uh boosters it's novel turn seoul has landed on the last cards because of course this is a christian board game um so it's time to introduce the last set of cards uh the catholicism cards now i have to say this is off this is easily the most obscure question on the whole thing but we did do this yesterday and i don't think i told you the answer yes we did yesterday you did not you did not tell me i think i did this yesterday and he did not have the answer oh true it's true yeah i remember this we had this exact conversation she was um oh it's churchill right churchill mary queen of scots that's what you're saying no i'm afraid this is margaret of beverly uh we only know what we only know about her because her brother uh thomas was a monk in england and he wrote a first first-person poem describing her time and her journey as a pilgrim to uh jerusalem you would literally you would not know this unless you had read the account yourself how do how the [ __ ] do you get hit by a millstone though i don't know catapult like that's just what happens in the poem it's teddy's turn oh here we go now we get to talk about the [ __ ] board again time what do we got six oh very good roll very good roll teddy one two three four five six teddy actually could get out of this now please here's how the clipboard works teddy teddy has by getting to this ring he has obtained the first key in the game of crypt this means that the crypt monster has spawned and it's now going to also join you by chasing you around the board now novel you have oh my god uh it is using a d6 right now as well um so as long as it rolls a one you don't die what happens if i die you go back to start if you get to escape you go back to where you were when you got sent to the crypt board uh whose turn is that right now it is virtual's turn sorry it's uh shrek it's star wars shrek's turn speaking uh french signal it's the cursor oh yeah you make a car noise i forgot i was like what the [ __ ] do you have money you can get rid of everything oh you don't i'm lucky no money can't spend you remain a star wars shrek making car noises [Laughter] i have [Laughter] well you were in seconds not anymore they killed my wife they killed my wife i'm gonna i'm gonna pay my one [ __ ] you know to send seoul back six spaces one two three four five six yeah you kill lynn's two he's still in first you guys send him back 12 spaces collectively and he's still in first i know but it was worth it okay that was only congratulations uh novels uh you now have to end every sentence with a nay yay there you go failure to do so will results in a send back to start copeland copeland when t-mon says copeland that's a quote from the movie because that's someone's last name no someone just says all right candy gets to draw a paint card i'm gonna say there are only 16 left before we reshuffle these and i know one of them says send all back to start oh god so go ahead draw one candy do i have to yeah yes i mean if it was today's population would be all of them touched grass sorry were you making a siren noise when the cops are chasing him in the fugitive was that that was timon no [Laughter] that's true yeah so virtu virtual gone you have oh accent wheel okay so no you're no longer shrek instead you are cockny no that's a guy auto west country you had to do a west country accent it's the worst accident ever it's the actual i don't understand how you do it yeah so now you're no longer now you are a west country star wars quoting car can you roll chamber are you dead it's it's going to be crazy every time he speaks the pain goes up okay you're an old man now novel there he is is that the old man yeah that's there he is uh maybe it's your girl do dementia dementia and scoliosis is a deadly combination novel do you have war thunder installed right now no prove it open yourself up [Music] you search on your bar for war thunder as well make sure you don't have it installed on not steam i see something opening we can't see what it is but i know you just opened it let me let me show you [Laughter] we'll let you through this on this occasion uh candy's turn oh no you're now book code one you love hoi4 anyone see the most recent post on our slash hoi for encirclements holy [ __ ] it was [ __ ] amazing there are 11 cards left there are only 11 cards left before we reshuffle oh no no no you go back to the start of the clown board so you get next turn to escape these two guys go back to the start of the [ __ ] with the monster right behind me maybe's turn maybe actually gets out of clown board now she gets to play the game hell yeah i'm scared actually i don't until you land at the club so one and then you get to move four on the actual board swap places with the person and last wait that means yeah one of the [ __ ] board people you go to the [ __ ] straight off the cloud board virtual stern oh good news you're no longer doing star wars quotes you can only do quotes from the famed harrison ford film air force one remember what you told me yeah that's right richard i don't care uh chamber have you finished 2048 i have no would you like to spend a dollar yeah i have one i gotta say the queen really needs to upgrade her broadband from bt uh and then novel can go so now novel is an old man a horse and also speaking in lord of the rings quotes you'd love to see it at this point can i just be [ __ ] gandolf you basically like to say we are uh two hours in and everyone is the start again yeah uh sam or uh caveman make a defense for libertarianism in gibberish oh [ __ ] okay that's the best that's the best defense i've ever heard cockney again everyone's just caught everyone is cockney there's eight there's eight accents on here and everyone gets cockney except for virtual who's watching the [ __ ] germans too the germans yeah chamber who currently has no negative effects for the first time in at least an hour no my negative effect is my internet that's not a negative effect it's a permanent debuff filthy happiness wait that's kyota sam sam confess just tell why don't you just tell the people how you use your keyboard no no no you can speak i want you to speak in english for this because it's the most humiliating thing i could think of for my for my shift i've clicked i used my thumb yeah play the video play the video me in the edit of him using his thumb to use shift and also i have yet to make a accent or anything yeah you've had you've had to do absolutely nothing other than duplicate your push-ups before it'd be very funny if you land on this and it makes you do push-ups again i swear to god [Laughter] speak like caveman teddy [Music] [Laughter] uh novel or sorry gandalf courage is found in unlikely places nay this is a [ __ ] disaster it just keeps going which island is eight miles southwest of vieburg and was leased by the soviets in 1963. so it would be enlarged of that's your answer is finland uh now i'm not very confident in that answer i'm gonna ask have you read the question [Music] i don't think finland is on island well you are now everyone goes back to start no you couldn't stay your little girl forever jim beep beep i completely forgot west country car saying air force one quotes that's what i want a combo unfortunate oh did you just roll two why why'd you go around and not escape it's too late you've committed to the time board you've committed it's teamwork's turn you've committed as in pain yes i will be paying to remove all negative effects from myself well you see young skywalker i have one gregor samsa back in my position no you you guys don't know this is really good you've used up most of the go back to start cards in pain which means someone might be able to eek through yeah someone we need to make a concerted effort to avoid the pain cards otherwise we're never right in order to beat the game you have to conspire against me the game master two uh okay that's a pain card i like how anyone who rolls a low number is rather is wasting precious pain cards unfortunate shaver very unfortunate go back with space and you will be singing to the tune of god save the queen for the next hour you are do not there is no try i sound closer to tears than anything else there we seem to be made to suffer true two clowns on the board now two clowns on the board right now just wiped out uh wish saint would be the first to be canonized not via local authority but by the pope himself richard not richard richard kimball was not scandinavia i forgot that i don't know this kind of stuff if you get this question right you go to heaven if you get it wrong you die where's the heaven board [Music] yeah bill where is the heaven hey maybe the game is stuck until you answer the question whether you know it or not i know you don't i know no one in their right mind would know the answer to this question that's the whole point say a name even stephen no uh ulrich of augsburg okay play bullet chest again pedestal's gotten this twice scandinavian defense declines hangs this queen immediately you troll he might get up he might end up getting checkmated himself here oh he did maybe you just landed on return to start [Music] star wars quotes you have to speak maybe all right i hope this just says go back to start no you're a character now for the first time of the entire game you get to do a voice it's going to be it's going to be someone you haven't heard of it just landed on pokemon 1. paradox quiz show teddy's doing the paradox show what is that silhouette what is that that is uh the uh that would be at the uh the russian empire from victoria no very sorry that's the russian provisional government from uh hoy4 oh unfortunate i guess sucks shame go back to space they killed my wife and you're going to be a character you're going to have to sing to the tune of god save the queen while in character oh my god i feel like this is actually target this is targeted towards chamber because he just rolled churchill [Music] that's very very apt for you to be singing to the tune it was literally okay literally like it's on the line between the two of them um sorry pokemon one it's their turn and you love things ah it's time to play musical chairs [Music] this isn't [ __ ] music [Music] can i can i mention the game at least yeah so what game was that okay that was um march of the eagles sorry that was the intro cinematic to sveya rike uh you go back i knew it i [ __ ] never write uh it's uh bitcoin one become one it's your turn oh unfair german accent wow okay you know what maybe you should have to speak in german yeah actually good good point maybe he has to speak in german okay alice my name is [Music] you're very close it's the united states from google maps go back to square my favorite paradox game old saint peter's basilica was built on top of what historical site uh [Music] so we all remember that charles the 12th guy he was pretty cool he went over to russia he was awesome i like him a lot we should be everyone's leader i don't care what you say about inbreeding it's a really good thing it makes you the smarter see if you marry your sister then you are awesome trust me with this one i love swedish people we are all saved can i just point out that soul got to like here within like under an hour and then we'd just yeah do you see you see what i mean when i say this might be luck base candy that's me character i haven't been a character in a while who is this i really hope it's jaw by the hut i really hope it's peter no it is it is trouble no i actually predicted that's job of the hutt and i have a recording of it it's real you actually did land a job in the house i'm just not rigged when i came home there was a man in my house i fought with this man he had a mechanical arm you fighting this man it's fine so no one has seen this anyone who hasn't seen the fugitive it sounds like insanity so do you go back to start then if you can't answer no what's the difference between a scottish man and a bench who is what a bench can support a family of four yeah yeah that's good uh pedestal is now a child you have to do a high-pitched voice no no no no i i said i said baby not hoy four player there you go open open paint i wanna see a hot dog with mustard you're drawing my country hot dog with mustard yeah wait wait what kind of wait let it finish it there we go now be advised the everyone returns to start card is still there no so i i would advise avoiding pain cards at all costs but it's up to you [Laughter] [Music] and the game has just reset however all right all right look because it is our four i'm not going to remove this card from circulation i this means the game will end yeah because it we're burning through pain cards too quickly um do you want to put the [ __ ] card down is candy gone we're just waiting on candy what the [ __ ] are you doing you're not anything why are you making these noises oh west country right you just i am my brain is melting from candy's speech to anything are you praying for something bigger than mine you're here what you're trolling where are you where are you here we start the grip part we all went back to start crippling yes so yeah and then you went all the way around no wait no please no that's not how it worked in the bacon board i'm making it work this way you have to go this way please don't make you go back please [Laughter] you're here come back to start [Laughter] richard go to clown board huh has been sent to clown board trying to go in one night one subscriber charles de gaulle i'm not gonna lie chelsea goal is kind of sus i think it's something chamber i think i saw him in algeria maybe he needs to play a game of bullet chess against either team on teddy or yeah the fear of loss is a path to the dark side debatable they killed my wife concentrating i'm afraid if you're anger you killed her [Laughter] didn't you just take it oh whatever it doesn't matter now oh quickly no you've missed that you just found your queen but what i'm oh my god you don't know what i'm doing i'm just reading myself tactical genius try and flag him maybe just move really fast not fast enough move your king not nearly fast enough all right chamber wins you swap places you get to go to the crypt board for losing that what yeah chamber was on the [ __ ] board oh you swept places with them oh that's so bad oh god teddy is spinning the wheel it's uh joe biden yes yes sam just go play 2048 your turn is skipped until you get it um sorry i'm done what i know i'm getting i'm losing it as well but we're so close chamber's going to win at this point uh unless chambers last place swap card uh he's gonna win middle machine son joe i'm going joker mode to inspection of foil in accordance with oh president joe biden respects personal right to inspect your aluminum foil as joe biden don't [ __ ] with this senator you should try fighting for what you believe in sometime jack return to monkey and he's the first one to get halfway down the board new jersey new jersey are you done i'm not done playing 2048 it's um i keep losing damn this is now teddy joe joel university of texas could have gone pro if i hadn't joined the navy [Music] [Laughter] [ __ ] american pride [ __ ] the media [ __ ] all of it america is diseased right into the corner tremendously joe biden right there you just go back yeah you still have to get past the two circular things every man okay richard go decline good joe biden has been sent to bocco in one season clown land [ __ ] no most aggressive 2048 player oh he's sure he's through he's gonna get through someone paid jamie to go back six spaces please please no we're late wrong let's just have a look at where everybody else is on the board and see if anybody has a chance uh pedestal is the closest and he's at least a full he's a full leg and thigh away if i win do i get the monetary's compensation no no chamber chamber money for playing my board game you didn't pay for it do you remember what i told you the tunnel i don't can't believe he's still [ __ ] doing this we're coming up in six hours of [ __ ] fugitive quotes richard i'm sorry but i'm in the middle of i forgot we've got two of you i know i [ __ ] give up on this piece please give me a jfk sam stay in here no no i'm not leaving i'm just not playing 2048. okay but you can't you can't play the game you just have to sit here now i guess that means it goes faster if you just sit there i'm just rooting for chamber so i could this suffering could end there uh teddy i was you're so close but so far around and around and around and around and around it does not end it does not end it does not end help me help me help me the fun will never end the fun will never end the [ __ ] thing if you think this sucks to play imagination be sitting here and trying to keep the game going and that's all you're doing that's all you've done for six hours cry about it bill you made this i don't think uh chamber chamber our favorite friend everyone's favorite chamber roll the dice please please go forward please go forward christ you are on christ i hope you're ready for a good catholicism which pope skeleton was dressed up in papal attire and brought to trial when his successor posthumously accused him of being unworthy i've mentioned this but do you remember his name john the eighth no his name is uh formosus uh very unique uh pope name actually pedestrian you're doing you're doing cockney again cockney sam there's a guy on the phone claiming to be richard kimball thank you it's it is teddy oh we cannot let this we've never allowed any crisis from a civil war straight through nice i will you don't roll the dice i will one two three you're a character now candy whoa what character i'm rolling the viceroy newt gun ray yeah are you brain dead i'm not going in there with two jedi i didn't kill my wife what's after six hours i didn't kill my wife it is did you kill your wife they killed my wife it's like hey did you kill your wife yet roll the dice roll the dice please richard here's the part that gets interesting right because the ending of the game is different from how it used to be because jan sent me a funny idea where you get stuck in a loop until you land on one of those three we should make it so that he lands on the pain guard and it's the person in the last place so that means it's me and i go there you can answer this you can answer this correct what new indulgence from 2013 can help you do less time in purgatory oh it's uh the [ __ ] twitter account true yeah true go forward one uh if you follow the pope on twitter you get spend less time in purgatory that's right i love the puzzle i'm okay chamber chamber if you get this right the game ends if you get this right the game ends you're right all right you ready i'm drunk dude's wrong oh god oh god it's like a shanty or something no i can't remember is it this one yeah it's um it's uh betsy misarka no betsy masaraka from u4 unlucky he goes back but the good news is he has as long as he doesn't roll a six we're fine i hope he rolls a six and gets the thing where i win i want to win [Music] why are you on that you're on the wrong page you can answer any of them there's multiple answers to this question what what it's not in the march what march where did you get march from read the [ __ ] comments march uh oh i i think i am going insane 15. oh no ps1 next round unless unless chamber yeah chamber actually has to get right chambers has been supplanted virtual is going to win so now the now they're both within the loop joe biden joe biden rolled today couldn't have joined the navy if i hadn't gotten in the navy okay if you get this right you win turn you can just roll oh yeah that's true who is it virtual convention who is it i have a sneaking suspicion that this is balcony one i'm sorry that actually was richard nixon if you peel away the silhouette his face is in there i knew it was richard all along he's the one who did it there you go all right now chamber go chamber go all right this is it this is it if you can get this right he goes through no way no he doesn't what flag wait wait wait wait wait wait what flag and what game it's hanover from which they may no he's already wrong this is the king this is the kingdom of westphalia from holy four you idiot uh it goes back pain doesn't make any sense we have three contestants in the running right now we just need the rest of your [ __ ] to go i have a dream that one day every person in this nation will confront i need you to tell me which first of all who uh sorry no who um uh what country it is and then what game it's from it's france and march's eagles oh it's no it's grimace from hearts of iron forest there's still three people in the line the foot european versailles yes that's true he did it he did it you saw through the eyes you said through the lies you won flip it yeah [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] you

Channel: Valefisk

Views: 5,028,927

Keywords: valefisk, valefisk horror game, geoguessr, geoguessr tournament, hoi4, company of heroes, company of heroes 2, coh, horror game, indie horror game, monkey, thespiffingbrit, lynxhylix, star wars, lego star wars, elden ring, buzzfeed unsolved, gaming, mega gaming

Id: rZwVhfL0wQA

Length: 56min 56sec (3416 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 26 2022