My Fiancé thinks I've tricked her with my fake good looks

[Music] so i was planning on proposing to my girlfriend of two years i'm an engineer making over 100k a year i was extremely blessed to be able to get a full ride and have my parents support me through college and finish with an engineering degree right on time i was able to land a successful job shortly thereafter and quickly raised the ranks with a high paying salary salary well high school was a tough time for me i had really bad teeth so bad because of the way they were placed i chipped my teeth through natural chewing motions i also had cystic acne with pits of scars left over i was also very scrawny after having this engineering job i invested heavily into myself i was treated with braces had the chipped teeth fixed and filled bleached and had extensive skin treatment through laser resurface surgery and top of the line facial creams with buttocks on my forehead only i also got heavily into working out with a top-of-the-line food regimen with a personal trainer with my hollywood smile almost perfect skin and good physic and good job it was rather easy to land this great looking girl well my mother had a candid photo that i hate and my girlfriend saw it they were reviewing baby photos and me in high school i have a glaring crooked teeth smile with horrible skin and face full of the worst acne you see online specifically in one of the photos my mother was sharing my girlfriend was horrified and said i have horrible genetics while on the drive home she then went on to hypothesize that her children may look like that she had perfect teeth growing up with no acne and i feel she is really being superficial she also made a comment about how i bought my looks and she doesn't know how she feels dating someone who wasn't naturally good looking we talked marriage before i even had her finger measured a proposal was in the midst now i'm either afraid she will say no and even worse if she is too judgmental of a person to be with and we will have a horrible marriage needless to say our interactions are different she looks at me a little different as if she is trying to see that true face i had it has beaten up my self-esteem she even referenced me being no different than a kardashian that was the low blow that had me shaking in rage i always have great long talks about politics technology and i watch no tv she on the other hand found out last year you can pout aluminum foil in the microwave not to be rude i just feel as if she doesn't have much room to talk another example is how she wants to see hillary as president just to see a woman in the white house and bill is the first husband i don't care who she votes for just have policies you can back them up with some of the things she says makes me take a long break and try to see if she is testing me or it's just some cruel joke so am i fake did i trick her am i supposed to throw out a disclaimer on my bad jeans edit so i'm getting a lot of comments about me being superficial due to my comments about her looks we met at a women's rights convention and we seem to agree on a lot of social issues i was raised by a single parent mother and grandmother from time to time and so i naturally gravitated towards social issues involving women we clicked right off the bat it worked out very well with the same hobbies animals and traveling the great looks was a bonus i didn't get all of these procedures to get a good-looking girl i had self-esteem issues that led me to not even want to apply to jobs in high school i applied to a fast food restaurant and the lady who handed me an application after asking for one literally folded the corner on the top i guess this was some type of sign i ever made a big deal out of it i never had a girlfriend in high school but i would look in the mirror and i knew my flaws and what i wanted changed i hope that clears up some things added to the whole thing about the microwave was just an example about the hypocrisy on her values she may have natural good looks i wouldn't be judgmental to her and demean her like how she did to me i did a typo she didn't know she could not put metal in the microwave because the outside was metal i received a lot of good help the issue turned into a fight and it even got worse she found out i had lasik performed i forgot to mention that in my last post she found out and said that was the cherry on top i told her that she was acting extremely superficial and we needed to take some time apart she didn't even act hurt or upset she seemed like this was what she wanted i didn't find out until it was too late but she took a picture of the photo while with my mother she claimed she wanted to keep the photo as a keepsake after we broke up decided to snoop a little and looked at her fafsa book everything is on private and only a few certain little posts are made visible she posted my photo of me in high school and wrote ladies it's never too late to cut your losses your future children will thank you for making the right choices in a partner this completely flogged me this was a breach in my privacy in childhood public shame and admonishment was taken to the maximum i called her up and my number was blocked i sent her an ml asking her to take it down no reply i called her parents and told them about the situation and they said they couldn't see the post and i told them it could just be some privacy setting she has i check again and now i'm completely blocked it just shocks me how she can go to this level of shaming when i did nothing to her it freaked her out that our children would have glasses and braces i have been pretty good moving on good news is i saved a lot of money honoring a little about my aunt she's a former artist extremely overweight and disabled lives with her mom i say former because she used to be pretty big on the professional scene in our area selling her artwork but after her illness stopped making art until the last year or so since she doesn't leave the house much i thought i would open up her world a little through social media and give her a new platform to share her art through i thought i did great fielding her questions teaching her how to block people who make her uncomfortable etc at first she posted all about her art and it was super cool to see her getting out there again now her feed is mostly motivational quotes pasted over generic inspiring images typical boomer on facebook aesthetic down to very slimming filtered selfies where she doesn't even look like herself it's a seven layer salad of cringe whatever right enter andy she started showing us pictures of this smoking hot guy around thanksgiving 2018 we are talking my stan totally ripped perfect teeth set in his head below the two sapphires he's calling eyes he's got a german shepherd and was supposedly in the marines he looks like perfect social media bait like too damn good to be true and he's into my aunt andy also apparently lives in a city about two hours away so meeting him is plausible but he has to come to her since she can't drive none of us think he's real he does weird [ __ ] like claim he doesn't know how to use facebook or instagram even though they met on instagram she started sending him gift cards almost right away on christmas eve he was supposed to pick her and my grandma are up to take them to our christmas eve dinner we knew they had a ride didn't know who the ride was bc usually my uncle drives them we get a call one zero minutes before my mom gf and me are leaving for the dinner saying that andy hasn't shown up yet and they need a ride so we give them a ride and wonder why the hell none of us knew andy was coming to dinner her instagram posts about him are still cringe-worthy she posted a picture of his dog and called it her baby their son etc and said of the dog mama loves you baby she randomly texted me once asking how to do a background check when i asked what was up she just said someone was being shady and didn't say anything more on the subject cut to this morning my gf wakes me up to show me a post she made that says she started a painting of her boyfriend fiance record scratch freeze frame what is this the same woman who wouldn't stop bad-mouthing about my uncle getting engaged to his girlfriend after a year saying the gf only wanted him for money we hadn't even heard of this guy until thanksgiving and to my knowledge no one except maybe my grandma assuming he exists has met him now three months later she's engaged now my dad her brother has been pretty disengaged saying anything he needs to know about this guy he'll learn in time and i get it she's missed most of the major milestones that society sees as important as far as i know she's never had a significantly long adult romance my brother and i are the closest thing to kids she has she hasn't had a driver's license for my whole life she lives with her mom she's lonely and the attention probably feels great but i'm worried still i don't want to see her taken advantage of i feel like i should talk to her but i don't know how to without making her feel like i'm out to get her please any advice would be great update i texted her since when is andy your fiance and she replied he asked me about two months ago funny how im currently resisting the urge to drive to her house and explain catfishing this instant update 2 thank you for all your comments i can't reply to them all lorena's my hands really hurt but here's the lowdown since this morning i have acquired photos of the guy and planned to reverse search them now that i'm home my gf is helping me draw her instagram for clues she found a post that suggests someone has already expressed concerns and i think that may have been my dad so if that's the case i'll have to trade carefully bc she didn't take it well but i'm asking dad for some more info i hope to get myself some cold hard facts within the next couple of days and then gently open the conversation with her when i can visit i really don't want to push her deeper into this fantasy she's constructed so i hope to engage her via googling as was suggested here i don't know what the outcome will be but please keep me in your thoughts i'm super worried it won't go well this has been eating me alive i feel a great deal of responsibility for this situation i thought when i got her started on social media i covered all the bases and catfishing didn't even occur to me at the time one would hope that their loved ones could be held to a little internet savvy accountability but sadly i think i hoped a little too high and my internet safety lessons fell short i also feel really hurt or almost betrayed i'm still not over the fact that i discovered her engagement via instagram post of all things instead of her sharing this with us it definitely makes me wonder if andy is encouraging her not to give us details or maybe she knows in her gut this isn't right and so doesn't want to over share or maybe she's afraid we'll judge her i don't know hopefully i will get some clarity when i talk with her after making the original post i couldn't get the situation off my mind it was driving me nuts and really just stressing me out i talked it over with my mom and asked my aunt to send me some pics of andy she asked why and i told her that i wanted to compare them to the painting of him she'd started so i acquired the pictures then did a reverse image search as many of you suggested thank goodness she sent me more than one picture of the guy because only the last one got a hit but from there it was smooth sailing turns out the real guy is a popular instagram model he's got info about him being a marine and having a dog with the same name as and as dog right in his bo this dude was so lazy he just lifted the real man's basic info the dog even has an instagram and i found more photos and he sent to her and to make my life even easier the real guy has a series of videos up in his highlights section labeled scammers i watched them and basically it was him addressing what to do if someone is being catfished with his picks i was super nervous but confident i had what i needed so from there i slept on it and then asked my aunt if i could come visit my mom help me stay calm beforehand and the worst part leading up to it was standing in their house saying hello and just waiting to drop the bomb i started off with saying there's actually a reason i'm here i have something to tell you and you won't like it i explained my motives for getting andy's pics the reverse image search and finding the real guy i pulled up his profile and the dogs and let her scroll through it while answering questions she and my grandma had she tried to call andy text him and just it was weird guys she used the phrase i'll go psycho on his or in several variants she never struck me as that type of person but she was just blowing him up and of course when she finally got a hold of him and asked him to explain what i'd found doug his voice she had him on speakerphone baby what you saying this was basically his answer to everything she said baby we don't need this you just got her trust i wanted to grab the phone and tell him to cut his crap but didn't i stayed a couple more hours answering questions trying to console her apparently they'd actually been talking for like two years i'm torn on whether or not to believe that because as much as i love my aunt i know from experience she can bend the truth to fit delusions sometimes anyways my grandma who was there the whole time was being her usual bruce self so i pulled her aside and tried to explain that this wasn't the time for tough love but for the band-aid and kisses type of motherly support she agreed and thanked me saying that she's been seeing my aunt change but she didn't say how after we went back into the main room she was trying to be a little more sensitive but it doesn't come naturally to her from there i needed to go to work and take care of something before the workday ended since then unfortunately it seems that despite my warnings that she would not get anything that could be guaranteed as the truth out of andy she insisted on demanding explanations and now he's got her convinced that everything they had was real and that a friend had dared him into the deception so now according to her they are talking and there's a lot of trust to rebuild i'm saddened by the turn of events but i did my job and she's an adult who has to make her own choices i'm trying to let go of the outcome which obviously wasn't he one i hoped for and to not feel hurt i know she's going through a lot emotionally and that it was silly to hope my intervention would change things hopefully she'll see the truth of it sooner rather than later and i can have played a part in that i've lived in this apartment complex since i moved out of my parents house when i was 18. i love this building love my home and i've never had a problem with any of the other tenants a new family just moved into the apartment next to mine at first everything was fine their son was a little noisier than i'd like but it's just something to get used to about two weeks ago the mom approached me and took me to the side she told me that she liked the apartment everything was fine except for one thing her son's room was next to mine and he could very obviously hear me having s with my boyfriend i apologized and said i'd try to keep things a little quieter she told me that she thinks it's for the best if i move my bedroom or have a somewhere else just in case her son hears i told her that wasn't going to happen but i would definitely try to be more courteous about timing fast forward to this past week my boyfriend who lives with me part-time but is a grad student on the go most of the time so we don't always see each other was over and we ended up having s it was probably four in the afternoon while we are going at it there's a knock on the door i'm not expecting anyone so we ignore it and the knocking continues then comes the shouting i need to stop i'm being disgusting don't i know there's a child in the next department i'm a degenerate i'm arrest i'm a rage etc etc etc she went away eventually but not after yelling some more now i don't know am i being unreasonable about this i don't think it's fair for me to have to adhere to someone else's schedule just because their son shares a wall with me we aren't screaming banshees and slapping the headboard against the wall but we are two adults doing what we love doing the woman caught me leaving for work this morning and told me that if i didn't stop exposing myself to her son she would have me arrested for child endangerment no idea if that's even a thing what am i to do here [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 22,392

Rating: 4.9050846 out of 5

Keywords: reddit girl, reddit wedding, reddit fiance, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ wedding, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit fiance, askreddit, reddit entitled parents, r/ entitled parents

Id: 2Z_qq4eJiw4

Length: 18min 11sec (1091 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 05 2020