Hey guys, my name is CypherDen and this is a story, nay, a tale of how i was adopted, but not really, but kinda? I promise I can probably...explain ...I think... *clap clap* RECAP So I went on a little trip in January to go to the Philippines because my grandma wasn't feeling too hot and let me tell you I LOVE my grandma She is the most precious little bean that you'll ever meet when I was a wee, baby child my grandma would unseed my dang grapes cause I had an irrational fear (that's right) Of accidentally eating the seeds and thinking that I have a grape vineyard growing in my stomach and then to go a step further Yo-you know the movie "Aliens" where the alien pops out of people's stomachs? EEEE I'M A BABY ALIEN. Yeah, that one I had that fear, but with grapes G-grandma. I-I ate some grapes with seeds in them am I- am pregnant with grapes?(aww) Okay, but before you say anything, I was like four, but my precious grandma dealt with my stupid ass and unseeded those grapes No questions asked up until I was 13 but MOVING ON To top it off, she went above and beyond and also did grape surgery. She peeled all those grapes just because she was already unseeding them anyways She was the OG grape surgeon. Seedless grapes werent really popular at the time, so, yeah. I don't know She also used to ask me what toys I'd want whenever she traveled outside the country or to the mall I was also a weird child. So go figure what I'd ask for her to bring me back home Yeah Pretty sure you couldn't guess I asked for cans of CORN *sparkle* Not toys like a normal child but cans of corn Again She dealt with my stupid ass and brought me home cans of corns No.Questions.Asked So as you can see the moment. I heard that my grandma wasn't feeling too good I dropped everything and i went on a trip A journey nay, An expedition to see my beloved grandma who's still somehow dealing with my stupid ass to this very day. As you could see in this picture. So we went on a trip where George and I got separated on their flight WhiIe lost my sanity sitting through 16-hour flight While the guy next to me coughed and sneezed at my face every 15 minutes or so where the old man sitting next to George would turn around and rip the biggest Nastiest fart every couple minutes causing pure and utter misery to anyone in the vicinity Pretty much 100% George And after what felt like the longest travel of my life with my last two brain cells yelling at me in complete agony I showered trying to wash off the spit, the saliva, the bacteria that coughing McGee has infected me with Safe to say it didn't really work because I was sickest dog for half of my trip Fast forwards hanging out with my grandpa and catching up. "Do you have any stories about Den when she was younger?" "Ah, you mean my youngest daughter?" wait WHAT? "I'm one of your eldest granddaughters Gramps". , "No, youre my youngest daughter." "Wait, what do you mean? " "Yeah, we found you in the back of my car" "say, say WHAT?" You'd think I'd get more of an explanation than that? BUT NOPE The topic got drop faster than my IQ after watching Twilight Anyways, maybe my grandpa was just joking around and maybe I just didn't really understand. It happens all the time. im slow ok I get it Eventually, we're looking at old embarrassing pictures that probably should never see the light of day But I also know you guys would much prefer me embarrassing myself*sigh* and laughing at my bowl haircut so when I was about four I looked exactly like Gohan and my grandma has this picture in her wallet so she could show everyone in the word in the world, my terrible haircut(you look cute😍) and as we were looking at said embarrassing pictures "Do you remember that car. We found you in the back of that car!" "We-wait what?" "Yeah, you were adopted. Don't you remember?" "We- What do you-what do you mean?" "Well, I'm really tired now, so I'm just gonna go take a nap" "u-uh o-o-okay?" "All right. Have a good night." "Grandma. It's it's bright as day outside" And you'd think I'd finally get an explanation but no like Was I not supposed to know? Why is everyone telling me this and then all of a sudden ignoring me? I didn't really question it because I look exactly like my mom This is a picture of my mom when she was younger. And this is a picture of me when I was younger I am a carbon copy of my mother I actually found my mom's fifth grade school ID and I legitimately thought it was me which didn't really make sense because at the time I was in third grade Unless I was actually a Time Lord and I just didn't know about it But that's not really the case now is it? But then again it would make sense cuz my mom never had pictures when she was pregnant with me. And if I was my grandpa's daughter it what makes sense why we look alike because it would be siblings But then again, I wouldn't make sense because they said they found me in a car Okay, so maybe me being born as a whole conspiracy theory and maybe I'm just as bad as chucky cheese pizza I-I-I-I don't know Maybe I'm just a simulation and maybe I'm just a robot? Or maybe I was just found in the car. WHO KNOWS? Why won't anyone tell me my origin story? I just I just want to know I-I just want to know anyways, I didn't really get an explanation at all until a couple of hours before I had to fly back home while eating dinner at my other grandma's house. "Yeah, my grandma and grandpa are doing okay. They're on some crazy story on how I'm adopted and how they found me in the back of a car or something. tsk. It's crazy, right?" "Aha, that's true. That's true" wait *insert gibberish* wait *insert more gibberish* What? "Ah yes, it's so true." *even more gibberish* "Um, can-can you please explain grandma Please?" "well what had happened was your mom was so young at the time and didn't want anyone to know that she was pregnant So your mom would wear these really really big shirts. So no one knew that she was pregnant for nine months." "So I'm not adopted?" "Oh, no, that's so silly. Of course you're not. but they told everyone you were though. " "Oh okay" Pretty much my parents and my immediate family told everyone else that I was adopted and hid me from the outside world No one existed and when a rest of the family in the world found out about my existence They told everyone that I was found in the back of a car Or that I was my grandpa's illegitimate youngest daugther cuz I looked exactly like my mom. I was such an embarrassment even before I was born That no one wanted to be associated with me, You know kind of like John Snow's backstory You guys could probably call me Den Snow from now on it seems appropriate It seems appropriate So yeah That's how I found out that I was adopted but not really but kinda at least for the first couple of years of my life at least for the first couple of years in my life YEAH You know I went into this whole trip not really expecting to be told that I was adopted or found in a car But it was an experience to say the least, You know just questioning everything you thought was true and then questioning if your grandpa's actually your real dad Then questioning if your mom was actually your older sister. What else do I not know about my life? My grandma also asked me at one point if I was real, that's the kicker but seeing 100% theme' grams all jokes aside She asked me if I was real because she wasn't sure if I was really there Standing in front of her or not because she said she dreams of me all the time that she dreams That she dreams shes in New York with me and I haven't seen her in the last five years and you best bet I freaking cried i cried okay th-this time I actually cried so do me a favor and go hug your grandparents and go talk to them They might just tell you you're adopted but go hug them anyways Cuz they might also just tell you that you've been mispronouncing your last name wrong this whole how many years you've been alive Yeah, I just found that out too. It seems like my whole life has just been a lie And with that said I'll see you guys later. And please please please just double check that There's no babies in the back of your car. And if there is go by the Meme Merch, okay BYEEE
