I lost my accent there! Let me try again! All-Might: *Exhales* What a nice night to look at the beach. Deku: All Might! All-Might: Ohwhachou-?! Bystander(f):IS THAT ALL-MIGHT!? Bystander(m):WOW! I WANNA MAKE OUT WITH ALL-MIGHT! Bystander(f): ME TOO! Bystander(m):YAYhighfive. All-Might: Look kid, there's no need to thank me! Also, could you stop screaming my name?! Deku: SCREW YOU! All-Might(W): ...That came out of left field. Is that are you cool kids say "Thank you" nowadays? Deku: WHY DID YOU GIVE ME A QUIRK!? All-Might(w): It's not just any Quirk! It's my Quirk! The power that goes even further than strength! The Quirk... *STRENGTH STRENGTH*. (One-for-All) Deku: Well, your *strength strength* (One-for-all) shattered 75% of the bones in my body after I jumped 48 meters into the air, It's more than roll on with my fist! (This sounded unintelligible so imma assume he was literally talking gibberish) All-Might(w): ...Why would you think it's an okay thing to do? It's a really irresponsible way to use your powers, kid. Deku: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW!? I didn't ask for this! I thought you had some ounce of morality and believed in the hero within me! But I guess I was wrong. All-Might(w): Ow...I think my heart area is hurting. That hasn't happened for a while But look kid, you're probably just worried that if you used my quick right now, I it'll shatter *every* bone in your body BUT, with training and dedication, they'll only shatter SOME of your bones in your body and maybe, *MAYBE*... ...None of your body bones will go bye-bye. Deku: How's that supposed to make me feel better? All-Might: Because then you can do this! *Crushes 2 cans effortlessly* Deku(t): ...Okay, I'll admit that's pretty cool. Bystander(f):HOLY CRAP! IT *IS* ALL-MIGHT! Bystander(m): (Fangasming vocally) All-Might: Run, my boy! Run like you're running from the cops that wanna SMOOCH you! Deku: That's pretty specific. All-Might: YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE! *Justice League theme plays* Deku(t): Well today is the day. The day that I get to my dream school! U-A! And even though I passed by using All-Might's quirk, I just know that this is going to be a wonderful new chapter in my new life! Deku: A new life where I can't open doors... because of Fear! *Laughs nervously* (I know that feeling.) *Laughter devolves into panicked breathing* *Verge of hyperventilating now* I'd better just get in before I freak out Iida: Tables are not for feet! Feet are for the *ground*! The ground takes the pain we emit! With every step we take, it devours it and turns it into energy! The table does not deserve that kind of power! The table deserves nothing! Bakugo: Well, you're a shitnerd. Howboutdat? Iida: Your comment is both insulting and confusing to me! I AM INSULTED AND CONFUSED! Bakugo: Meh...huh? Iida: (Partly awestruck) It's *YOU*. *Everyone's neck is suddenly rusted metal turning to see Midoriya* Deku: (Surprised)...huh? (Now panicking again due to spotlight) Ehh...Hi?! My name is Izuku Midoriya! Nice to stop staring at me! Iida(o-s): Hello, Mr. Midoriya! Please allow me to approach you because PROXIMITY IS KEY FOR SOCIAL INTERACTION! Deku: (offput by the unit known as Iida to have apporached him with a shaking screen) Th-tha-that's close enough! Please stop screaming... Iida: You are correct. Deku: Huh? Iida: Approaching you would do nothing but establish a strong eye contact. The exact scenario you wanted to avoid! I was blinded by my impeccable vision! Deku: (Now confused) Oooooookaaay..? Ochaco: HOLY BALLS YOU ACTUALLY GOT IN?! *Exclaims in panic because another person is screaming* Ochaco: I thought Present Mic didn't care about what I said, but maybe he saw the footage of you all like *BOW* *PACHOW* *PACCAH* *PSSHHHH* OH NO IT'S A ROBOT! BETTER *PUNCH* IT! *BOOOM* Iida: Miss! Whatever you do, do NOT use your eyes to look at his eyes! It is his greatest fear! *Bakugo grumbles observing the interaction* You did it! You BOTH did it! BOTH of you DID it! I thought only one of you would do it but TWO did - YOU TWO! BOTH OF YOU! DID IT! Bakugo: (Pissed) What the actual FUCK Deku?! I look away for three seconds and you blow up a giant robot!? Who gave YOU permission to feel special?! I'm the only special boy around here! Ow, that hurt. Fuckin'...fuck? Deku: Let go of me. Bakugo: (Suprised) What? Deku: (Now getting angry) I said... Let GO OF ME! Bakugo (t): What in the ever-loving fucking is happening? First, he cried about his wrist and it hurt and then he yelled at my face and it hurt but on the *inside*! And now he's staring at me with the angry eyes! And I'm staring at *him* with the angry eyes, but it's doing NOTHING! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?! Bakugo(a): ...This is...fine? For *both* parties... *Growls* Bakugo(t): (current time) When did that fucking spineless runt grow balls? Is this the same kid I picked on?! Maybe if I look away, I'll stop getting angry. ... GODDAMMIT I'M ONLY GETTING ๐๐ก๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ฅ! Ochaco:Oh boy! I can't wait to open my eyelids!
(ใฃ อกโโฏโฟ อกโ)ใฃ (Why are her eyes closed...?) Also! I wonder what this school is going to be like! RandomDeadLookingGuy (RDLG): (Suddenly there) A never-ending cycle of pain and nightmares. Ochaco:...eh? *Unzips sleeping bag and sips drink/applesauce* *Unzips bag completely and exits* ...Hello. Deku: (Has no clue how to interact like everyone else) ...Hi? RDLG: (Abruptly) You're gonna start training today, Deku: I'm sorry...who are you? I see you've heard of me. Deku:...Not...Really...? RDLG: Cool, that makes this easier. Deku: Makes what easier...? (Ignoring all questions) aaaand you all look awful. Wear these. *Ochaco vacuuming the existence of matter in one inhale* Ochaco: ARE YOU OUR TEACHER?!( อกโโฏโฟ อกโ) RDLG: Not allowed to answer that question. I also don't feel like answering that question. Ochaco: Guys! I think he's our teacher! I'm SO EXCITE! ( อกโโฏโฟ อกโ) Iida: I AM THINKING THE SAME THINGS YOU ARE THINKING AND I AM COMPLETELY ๐๐๐๐ ABOUT IT! Ochaco: Sooo....Why are we outside? RDLG: W-What? Oh, yeah, I-did-we were doing a thing... I guess we should do some physical exams or... ...Something. Hey you. Do you think you could throw a ball? Bakugo: I mean, yeah. My grandpa was the best pitcher in t-ball. (Tf is T-ball?) RDLG: Cool. Prove it. *Bakugo summons forth the inhuman might of his blond hair for his throw* *Literal explosions as the ball is flying to accelerate it further* RDLG: Okay, yeah, I'm not gonna go get that. Let's just say *far enough*. ...Next. ... Oh! Right, Uh, we're doing physical exams. Whoever does the worst gets expelled. Everyone: WHAT?! Deku(t): Expelled?! Kaminari: Dude, isn't that kind of extreme? RDLG: Extreme, huh? Tell me. You remember Spice Kid? Kaminari: Who? RDLG: Exactly. There's Puffs Chub, Snippy Jim, Mac Quack, Mr. Rad the Baddest Dad, Muscle Bad Joe, Bark McDog, the dog cop extraordinaire-Any of those ring any bells? Kaminari: ...Who? RDLG: Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, guess what. You're all gonna be just like them. Bunch of useless, no-name, heroes. Sero: I-I-I actually looked up to Snippy Jim! Well, that's telling. I'm sorry. (Ouch) Sero: (Despondent) Oh man... Iida: Why are you regaling us on the doings of Mr. Rad the Baddest Dad? RDLG: Because it's still my job to train you. It's your job to prove me wrong. "Save some lives", "Change the world". Also, I'm legally obligated to say "Plus Ultra" sum "Plus Ultra". There. Now the union's not gonna be on my ass. Ochaco: B-But you can't just expel people like that! We all just got here! RDLG: You know what, she brings up a good point. Everyone stays and gets A's on the first day. nbd. Ochaco: (Shocked) Wai-Really? RDLG: No. Now shut up and run. *Training Montage is Training Montage but its really a test and why is the piano so loud* Iida: It is an honor to participate in the running at the runners with you! We'll both step vigorously and provide the ground with pain, Thus maintaining the balance of the worlds rotation and- Tsuyu: Bang. *Iida turns into an actual unit and breaks sound barrier* Tsuyu: Finally. Solitude. Peace. *Sighs contentedly* *Still doing the loud training montage piano. Someone's ears are bleeding* *Ochaco innocently tosses ball* *Ball somehow has enough size and power to destroy a plane with hundreds of lives within no problem* *Hundreds are dead* Ochaco: DANGNABIT! Kaminari: Whoa...hundreds? it's way more than like tens... She definitely passed. Deku(t):I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A HERO SCHOOL?! How am I in last place?! This is bad... Using my own power hasn't been enough, but maybe... If I just... All-Might: (flashback) Use my Quirk, my boy! I just gave it to you! It'd be a real shame if you wasted that! Boy, anybody who did that would *really* be letting me down. You feel guilty yet, kid? Deku: How could I feel guilty? I didn't ask for this! I wanted to be a hero with my own strength. All-Might: Look kid, I know you want to stick your guns and go quirkless, and I respect your tendency. But you're not gonna pass if you're not gonna use my quirk. All-Might: (memory) So, you can go home with your chin higher, or you can just use my quirk and become the next great hero. *Exposition begins with RDLG getting pissed* *Pitiful toss. 3/10. Getfckedkid* RDLG (not looking so dead now):
I just cancelled that ability with my quirk: Erasing Quirk. Your quirks out of here. I released it, it's gone. Bye. Deku: (sudden revelation) Wait! I know who you are! You're the Eraser hero! Eraser Head! You get erased quits just by looking at them. Eraser Head: Ugh, yeah, you found me out But it's *Doctor* Eraser Head to you. Deku: Okay, Dr. Eraser Head- *Doctor* Dr. Eraser Head: It's *Doctor* Dr. Eraser Head to you. I didn't go to Hero medical school for 16 years to be called doctor once. Doctor Dr. Eraser Head: Now... You're gonna have to throw that ball- using only your *own* strength. Deku: (Mixture of confusion and concern)
My own...strength strength? DDEH: Yeah, I have no idea what you're talking about. Okay...One last thing. I didn't say not to use your quirk. (Realizes that literally meant nothing)
I hope that has been helpful for you. Go throw the ball again one more shot, you know, before you're expelled, no pressure. Deku(t): My own strength, but this quirk really isn't mine... All-Might gave it to me. Wait... He *gave* it to me! It might have been his quirk once, but now it's mine! And with this power, I can't become the hero that I want to be! With my own hands!! I will pave the way into the symbol of the hero that I'll become! This test isn't gonna stop me! NOTHING WILL!! *Summons the power of plot armor and a fan favorite bgm to chuck the ball into the atmosphere* Deku: (Determined) Teacher...No matter what insane obstacles you give me, I will become a hero! With my own strength! Deku(internally): Damn, I really think i broke my finger bone! DDEH: (Excited) Now that's what I'm talking about! Sero: Golly gosh darn he made the ball went far enough. Ochaco: (Hyped) YEAH! He showed that ball who's monkey flippin' BOSS! (โฏ*โฏโฅโฏ*โฏ)โ Iida: The finger he lost will not be forgotten! It will be remembered in our hearts and in our minds! And will be succeeded by its nine brothers and sisters! ...on his hands. Bakugo(t): (Internally shit his pants) WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT WAS THAT?! That son of a bitch has been holding out of me all these years. I can't believe the level of *betrayal* And even after I told them that *I* is a special boy, He just goes out there and gets a superpower like it's no big deal This guy goes to the Quirk store and picks up a gallon of quirk juice and the clerk is like "That'll be 7 Quirk bucks!" (what is that voice?) And Deku's like "Haha! Nope! Not for me! I have a 50% off coupon from the Sunday Gazette!"
(What is this analogy?) And then he just fucking shoots the guy (Wait what...?) and steals it! Nobody steals from my quirk store! Bakugo: (Pissed) DEKUUUUU!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!! *Deku now shits his pants seeing Bakugo pissed beyond reason with murder in his eyes* Bakugo: (Growling to escape binds) Who dares defy me while I beat the shitnerd?! I'll beat you, you...shitnerd! DDEH: I can't tolerate student-on-student violence. ...Literally, I-I can't. I'm legally obligated not to. I can't have the Union on my ass again so settle down. Bakugo(t): That Dick-u! (pretty sure he said Deku but it sounds like it and it's funnier) He's not better than me. No one's better than me! Only *I'm* better than me! (Getting Vegeta vibes here...) Look at you...all happy...! With nine functioning fingers! (Wait did you lose any fingers...? I don't remember you losing any fingers.) I'LL END YOU DEKU! ๐'๐๐ ๐๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ!!! DDEH: Okay, next test. Deku: (Panicked) Wait, there's still more tests?! *Great segway. Just piano to really blow the eardrums* All-Might: And there were more tests! And I kept watching them from around the corner! And then you're all like: "here are the results. But Deku failed," And he was all like: "Oh no! I used All-Might's Mighty mighty strength strength and broke my finger for nothing, Owie!" but then you're all like: "Nah, It's a prank, bro" And then I ambushed you in the woods as you want it to be! Hello! DDEH: Ehh, what can I say public restrooms creep me out. Anyway, why were you watching us? It's cuz that kid right? The green one with the bone-breaking quirk? All-Might: (Mildly flustered at being caught) N-No! What's your point? DDEH: My point? You're bad at hiding. Yourself and your intentions. All-Might: (Even more flustered) D-d-da-n-no! I-I'm like a WALL when it comes to my emotions! Old, cold-hearted All-Might! *Laughs to shake awkwardness* DDEH: (Deadpan) You could have literally walked up and just said "Hi, I'm a teacher here. I'm gonna stand here and watch," and we would have been like "All right," Anyway, the kid passes for now. "For now" being the important part. if he starts plateauing then I'll have to kick him out. You're lucky that doesn't apply to you. All-Might: Well, that was uncalled for. I'll show you to walk away... *Makes lazer noise for no reason and then laughs it off* Gotcha...! Was, uh... Gotcha with my finger guns! Now All-Might has the last laugh! *Laughs and continues pointless lazer noises* ...This never gets old. *More lazer noises* Deku: (Exhausted) I did it...
Iida: *Rapidly approaching and screaming* *Deku exclaims once again in surprise* Iida: How is your shattered finger? Does it continue to defy you by being shattered? Deku: Oh, yeah recovery girl... ...Fixed...it... (OH SWEET SALTY CHRIST GET IT AWAY!) (GOD NO! PUT THAT THING AWAY!) (I NEED AN ADULT! SOMEONE FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD HELP ME!!!) Deku(t):...I can never go back there... Iida: Of course the audacity of the finger is something to be admired because despite the yelling and screaming, the shrapnel remains. Deku(t):Wow...He's still going. Ochaco: Hey guys! Wait for meeee! (ใฃโฏ^โฏโฅโฏ^โฏ)ใฃ Iida: Be on your guard, Midoriya! The Slayer of Planes approaches! Ochaco: Oh, come on. Don't be that guy. What's one plane crash between friends? (Hundreds are dead) -P.S. We're friends now- (You don't have a choice) My name is Ochaco Uraraka! You're Tenya Iida And Deku Shitnerd! Right? Deku: Shitnerd?! Ochaco: Look I don't like to remember small details that I don't need to register, So,it's either Deku or Shitnerd since those are the only names I heard you called by. Deku:...Just Deku, I guess? Ochaco: Perfect! It's shorter! Iida: And I shall address you as Tenya Iida! As that is my name! And I know I will not easily forget it! *Screams once again for no reason* Deku: *Flustered from sudden events* OMG I'm friends with a cute girl! This is the best day of my life!! Ochaco: Ewha...?(โฏยฐโฏแดโฏยฐโฏ)? Deku(t): All in all, Today wasn't so bad. Maybe, for once, it'll be smooth sailing from here on. Kids better keep getting ready, cause shit's about to get REAL. Kids are screwed. Hahahahahaha. Wait, who am I talking to? Am I doing a monologuing right here? Hello, my name is Eraserhead and i'm here as part of a union mandated thing to read an end card So here I am reading an end card Subscribe to the schmuck squad on youtube and follow them on twitter and twitch and then also PS weasel is very cool And he's a very handsome boy and you need to follow him. Am I done? Can I be done?
