Ban: GIRL. GUY. GIANT. IMMORTAL. PIG! GO Meliodas: We made it guys! Behold all the plentiful wealth of which we'll be racking up here today! Diane: Really?! Where? I only see a bunch of nothing. Meliodas: Aw... shit. Ban! Did you read that map right? *burp* Ban: Cap? We've run out of booze. Meliodas: ALL OF IT?! THAT WAS TWO YEARS WORTH! Ugh... now that we've run out of alcohol to run the bar, it's time to get scavenging ladies! Diane: YAAAYYY Elizabeth: What about us trying to find the other seven deadly sins, to help rescue the kingdom from the tyranny of the great holy knights? Dreyfus: Holy knights of the Brittania empire, our decade-long fight with Germania is finally at an end! Soldiers (in unison): YEAH! Soldier in background: Fuck Disney XD! Dreyfus: And with our victory, there is an old saying: 'To the victor go the spoils of war!' Soldiers (in unison): WOOOO! Soldier in background: Fuck Jetix Dreyfus: Great holy knight Hendrickson, inform the men what we have won! Hendrickson: I'd, really rather not... Dreyfus: Nonsense! These men have watched their brothers in arms die before their very eyes... nothing would please them more than to hear what our spoils of war- Hendrickson: We got coupons to Dunkin' Donuts. Dreyfus: Coupons for EVERYONE! Soldiers (in unison): YEAH! Hendrickson: There's only three. Dreyfus: ...coupons for me THRICE! Soldiers (in unison): HOORAH! HOORAH! HOORAH! Dreyfus: And that's why I'm a great... POLITICAL... holy knight. Hendrickson: I fucking hate you. Elizabeth: And then the other guy's like, "I fookin HATE u!" Theee end. Meliodas: How about 'ya shut that little mouth of yours if 'ya know what's good for 'ya? Ban: Aw, man! I need to find a place to piss out all that booze! I wonder if she has some gum. Hey! HEY! Give me some gum! Boy: Get away from my sister! Ban: Hey kid. My breath smells like ass. You got any gum? Boy: I've got trident! Ban: Eh, I prefer Juicy fruit. The taste is gonna MOOOOOOVE ya! Ban: Now are 'ya gonna give me that gum or not? Ban: Jesus kid, I'll take anything! Peppermint? Unknown voice: How about... Spearmint? Hi. Ban: That pun hurts more... than this looks... Unknown character: If it hurts, it works! Ban: How rude! Unknown character: Oh-ho, where are my manners? I guess I should've introduced myself to the person who killed my only family! Ban: Hey! I've killed a bunch of people's families thank you very much! What makes YOOOU so SPECIAL? Your hiney? Unknown character: Oh, so you do recognize me. Ban: What? BLEGH Unknown character: Y'know... even though I KNEW that wouldn't kill you... that was still REAAALLY satisfying. Ban: You mean like the ever-refreshing taste of Juicy-fruit? Unknown character: ...fuck... you. The taste is gonna MOOVE YA! Meliodas: Oy, what the fuck is going on here? Elizabeth: EGH? EEEEEEEEGHGHGH PILLOW FIGHT! Ban: Hey cappy, I'm kinda busy right now trying to murder this little kid. Can you give me a few? Meliodas: You know, three weeks ago... I would've said no, but... at this point... what's another year in a life sentence? Diane: Hey, why aren't there any big houses, my butt always gets stuck in the do- Oh? KING!? Meliodas: Wait, that's King? Ban: HUH!? THAT'S THE FUCKING FATASS? HOW COME HE LOOKS LIKE A BEFORE AND AFTER IMAGE FROM WEIGHT WATCHERS? Diane: So King, I've always wanted to know... how are you doing that floating thing? Diane (whispering): I think it's wires! Meliodas: Well, thanks to my tactical interrogation on those little orphan kids... Boy: Oh boy, thanks for the food! We couldn't eat another bite even if we wanted to! Meliodas: Oh-ho-ho-ho, don't say that! We've got so much more to give 'ya! Girl: W-w-what? No, we're kinda full now... Meliodas: No, no, eat. eat and tell us all your secrets. *evil chuckle* *forceful evil laughter while kids are screaming* Lil twats said we'd find their stash of booze around here. Elaine: Look, for the last time, You can't raid my panties! I don't even wear any! Ban: There ain't nothing I can't steal! Diane: Hey, look guys! Ban's playing with flowers! What a pussy! Let's all laugh at him to make him know how much of a pussy he is! Everyone: *laughs* Hawk: Stupid flower... thinks it's... PRETTIER than me... I HATE it! King: What the flowery fuck? Boy: Ha! This is what you get for overfeeding starving little orphan kids! Hope you like in the sea of the dead you fucking schmucks! Elizabeth: OH NO! I HATE DETROIT! Meliodas: Oh, great! Now we're all stuck in the city of De- WHERE THE FOK'S BAN? Boy: I hope they get ghost AIDS while they're there. Unknown voice: Oh? Ze sins... they 'ave, oh how do you say, uh, peaced the fuck out? Girl: Did we ever have a mommy? Boy: No... our mother was never french... they went extinct years ago! Guila: Vut a coincidence! Boy: BLEH blegh Guila: You're going extinct today! Unless, that is... you tell me how to vind those seven little sins, no? Boy: Yeah, you can find 'em by killing yourself, you fucking pussy-ass french bitch! Guila: Kill myself? Zat is a piece of... LET ZEM EAT CAKE! NAPOLEON *Squish* Ban: Where the fuck's the bathroom around here? I swear that flowery vortex fucked with my bladder! King: You won't need to go to the bathroom when I kill you. Ban: No, I'm... pretty sure that's what happens when you die. Not that I know... with me being... immortal and all. King: Yeah, thanks to you chugging the entire fountain of youth and KILLING MY SISTER, ELAINE! Ban: WOAH... So she can turn fat too? Oh no-no wait, King! I-I still have to pee!! Let go of me, INEEDTOPEE!!! King: Goodbye. As penance for killing my sister, may you forever remain a statu- ...fountain. Elizabeth: OH NO! I HATE EMERALD CITY! Meliodas: WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR MUTE BUTTON?! Bonjour, schmucky swines, and... also... swine-swine. Hawk: Uh, thanks(?) Meliodas: Oh great, a frenchman. Guila: Zat iz frenchWOMAN to you! Meliodas: Do you shave your armpits? Guila: no- Meliodas: Frenchman. Guila: Faze zhe lath of ma blade, Monsieur le Schmuck! Meliodas: What? The part of your hairy pit stench? Put your arm back down! I can smell it from over here... Guila: Silence, you Iwish potato! I'm going to make... how do you say... fwench fwies out of you? Meliodas: That is sadly the most intelligent thing I've heard all day. King: This is getting ridiculous... I'm outie. Huh? Wait... Those lights... it can't be... Elaine? [oh shit bruh she went for the lips] Ban: Hey, thanks babe. Oh hey! And now I don't have to pee anymore! King: Elaine? Why are you saving him? I know you hate him as much as I do. Elaine: Yeah, I do. I hate him so much that I'd love to stab him every second of every day. But... because of my hate... I've come to love him so much. King: How does that make any sense?! What the fuck happened to you? Elaine: You left me alone for 700 years! I'm an emotionally damaged woman who needs a strong older man in her life! Ban: Ew. Daddy complex. Guila: You are overmatched, no? It seems you sins aren't... how you say... vewy deadly? Oh-hon-hon-hon-hon... Diane: Oh, I don't think I'll have any problems dealing with a FRENCH SLUT tryna steal my man! Guila: Oh! Iz zat vut you zink? Diane: No... YOU SINK! Guila: Oh, I zee vut you did zere.. awefaekj Guila: Wow! Zis isn't vut I vas expecting at all! Being zhe axis of a giant and a leprechaun in one day. Where are your lucky charms now? Meliodas: Oh, now you've done it!!! Guila: A full-counter! A move as drab and boring as your shitty Iwish cuisine. Meliodas: WHAT'S WRONG WITH POTATOES AND BEER?! Guila: What next? A man that's invinci- Ban: INVINCIBLE MAN TO THE RESCUE! (French cursing) (Time for an actual french woman to help translate you schmucks.) Ban: Hey. Gimme your sword. Guila: Oh? Well... How about an appetizier first? Ban: The fuck you talking abou- *BOOM, HEADSHOT* Thank god I'm too drunk to feel this... Guila: Goodbye, Monsieur Ban. Or as ve zay in French- FRENCH?! *I* KNOW FRENCH!! (french shit about doing the do) [I don't think she liked it] Hawk: Holy crap, an EXPLOSION!! Elizabeth: ToWARDS THE FLAMES, my stEED! Hawk: Or we can just turn back and- Elizabeth: I SAID TOWARDS! Guila: You know, you are a lot more tolerable with a sword through your neck. Ban (garbling): bkghdrtfvnytdhv cSDGHSR Guila: Okay, less tolerable. Ban: Owie. King: Hi. Ban: Cap'n, King keeps bullying me! Tell him to stoooop! Meliodas: No. Ban: See? He told you to stop. Guila: Oh, what do you know? Anozer cockhole chz just appeared. And its zhe one and only Grizzly Sin of Zloth. And, what might you be doing here? Weren't you vorking vith Sir Gilthunder? King: I was, but things happened that made me reconsider my choices. I know fake invisible gold when I see it. Ban: Ha! And he was gonna get beat up by his DEAD SISTER if he didn't go beat you up- AAAAAAH Guila: Oho! I never took you for the comedic type. Or... zhe sister... complex... type. Anyway, how do you expect to beat moi- King: Like that. Guila (in thoughts): Le shit. *King not giving a fuck while music starts playing in the background and the battle is in beat* *King still not giving a fuck* *song ends when spear hits ground* Guila: A-hah! I have bested your spear, Time to end this with a gwand finale!
Zis is goodbye! C'est la fin, sins. King: Increase. Guila: Quoi? *music starts again* *music crescendos as knives hit Guila* *music ends* King: Phew Elizabeth: So fAR AWAY Meliodas: STOP. YOUR. SHITE. King: This... is my life now. Fantastic... Guila: You ZINK zhis RUBBLE iz enough to finish ME?! IZ AU REVOIR FO YOU- Meliodas: Looks like you're... french toast! (>.< best pun ever) Guila: Oh, I see vut you did zhEREEEE!!! Elizabeth: AND EVERYONE WAS JUUUUUUST FINE Hawk: AH! Why am I glowing? I feel faint. Am I gonna DIE?! King: Literally the opposite. The world of the dead is rejecting us because we're still alive. It's taking us back to the living world. Diane: Does it have to HURT SO MUCH? King: Yes. Elizabeth: OH NO! I HATE PURGATORY!! Boy: We're dead now. Ban: Okay. Elaine: Ban... I- Ban: Hey, don't worry. I'll get you out of here soon enough. Then we'll be like Bonnie and Clyde.
[or should I say 'bannie'? Eh? Sorry...] Elaine: But... I'm dead. Ban: Hey, remember. There ain't nothing... I can't steal. Ban: WE'VE GOT THE FUNK. GOTTA HAVE DAT FUNK. OW! WE'VE GOT DA FUNK. GOTTA HAVE FUNKY DUNK. Elizabeth: OH, WE GOT DA FUNK GOTTA HAVE DAT FUNK! Ey, you gotta nice throat there! How do you live like this?! Meliodas: I don't. I'm dead inside. I can make you feel life again~ ajrglaejingeargjn~ Elizabeth: *gasp* OOOOOOOOAAAH IT'S A DEAD NAPOLEON COMPLEX! Hawk: I think she's still breathing, guys! Elizabeth: NO! THAT'S STUPID! YOU'RE STUPID! YOU STUPID! OH MY- Ban: Hey King, why don't you make HER into a fountain? Hehhahahahah... Meliodas: No wait... I've got a better idea... [bdsm?] Unknown Voice: Guila are you awake ? Guila. Guila! Guila: Huh? Lord Helbram? Where am I? Wait, no! Where did those blasted sins go? Helbram: Looks like they got away This isn't going to look good on your report card- Ohh my lord! What did they do to your face? Guila: What? Really? What does it look like? Helbram: Like a turd came alive rubbed itself all over you. And then that turd had a baby turd. And then that baby turd took a shit on your face! Ugh I think I am going to be sick. *Helbram puking in background* Guila: Curse you SIIINS!! [Outro Theme] Well subbing is harder then it looks. There is more after the end card too. We all click away sometimes Diane: Ugh! this fish has the most terrible taste. Ban: You know what else is in terrible taste? I fucked your dead sister! HAHAHAHA! King: Yeah. I know. She's dead, and you can't die. Ban: That cut deep. Elizabeth: Deeper than a deep hole. That is deep-er than you think. Because it keep going when you though it was going to stop *Elizabeth in background: Unless it's deeper by definition King: Hey Meliodas. Why are you with this... girl? Elizabeth: Fuck you science! Meliodas: Ugh. Because unfortunately she's the princess. King: Princess! why didn't you say so before? Meliodas: Because i hate that formal form of yours. King: There is no one in the world that can hate. This! Hellooo i am the fairy king. Yes I can smell it now, your unmistakable scent of royalty. Elizabeth: Please don't eat me! Meliodas: Pleeeease eat her!
