Mr. Green and the Chocolate Factory

a million dollars isn't cool you know what's cool you a billion dollars and that shut everybody up do i not know how to spell chocolate so badly that my iphone thought i was trying to say cholesterol how do you spell it's choco chocolate right chocolate factory entrepreneur holy shit chocolate favorite andrea nor near i can't type i hate these fucking things i hate phones all right so i i got coffee here this is my cuban cloth cleaner it's got cayenne pepper cuban coffee and honey i'm not mistaken this is a huge seller put poison in the coffee um well you're a psycho hey dude i got a good idea of how you really grow your business put poison in the coffee i think your business would not last very long you spend all the time all the money all the resources to get the factories get the permits and the first thing you want to do the factory's ready to go you got the chocolate you've got the recipes it was passed out by your fucking grandmother [Music] spray windex and all that what the fuck dude no what are you doing what's wrong with you what the fuck dude fuck you like oh we got our chocolate spinning in that big vat that you see on every single one of those how it's made videos with the churning it's a big bowl that's sideways that's spinning and some guy comes over the ladle and he drops like flavorings in it spins around and then the ceo comes over with windex and goes fuck you get out of here i'm doing shit here he throws cigarettes in he just has a lit cigarette that chocolate looks really good flick imagine being the chocolatier and being like you fucking asshole now we gotta shut the whole thing down he's actually mad i am mad at this guy this guy that was stupid what he did he shouldn't have done that he sprayed windex into my chocolate spinning undulator and it's making me very mad at this person doesn't exist but i hate them i hate this person i mean i don't know how the in-depth the game gets later but i know for a fact that uh we have at least four of the pages that we have not made chocolates on that's a full stack that's a full stack i'm really happy about that one really how about that turned out i wish that i i wish that are there more games like this i don't care about any other video game you guys wanted me to watch the fucking playstation direct i care about this i want i'm gonna play this like playstation could have come up with a press release that said if you watched the direct you got 50 deposited into your bank account and i would be like i'd rather play the chocolate game i don't care i'd be like no i don't care rich streamers no i'm am i the am i the weird ceo no i don't want to be the weird ceo guy that like just i'm playing my chocolate game leave me alone get the fuck away from me you're a millennial ceo i've got i've got like a fucking star wars t-shirt on i'm wearing slippers and like jogging pants and i like skipped out on the company meeting because i'm playing an old nostalgic chocolate making game oh no no no no no don't worry it's okay i'll i'll bring myself down a few pegs uh when i do the catboy stream right no down a few pegs it's a term it's cleaning your clock it's down a few pegs it's getting knocked down a few you have no idea what my plan is for that stream i'm going to tell you one of the plans and i can't do it and i it's a uh hold on i have to ask if i can do no all right you know i'm gonna tell you one of the things i was gonna do if you don't think i would knock down a few pigs i wanted to have should i tell you should i tell you should i keep it a secret for that catboy stream that's something that'll knock me down a few pegs hmm maybe i'll tell you no no i can't tell you because if i can do it it's i it's worth it secret all right it's fine fine fine fine this is the among us guy no every time i travel or make a new batch of chocolate a week goes by so this is not producing chocolate right now it only starts to produce when i cycle through time we have not done that yet it's every every time i do a task no one cares oh okay no no one cares says germa zerked on stream holy shit i gotta take a picture of this what the fuck is going on quick quick quick quick quick quick quick this battery just is standing on end this is like a magic thing i have no idea what's going on i don't know how this is happening how this is how this is happening i get a picture of this oh my fucking god what is doing this it's floating i have a floating battery in front of me holy shit why is that happening okay okay i have to let me get i have to i'm gonna put this on a discord it's a magnet this is not a mag that's the base of my that's the base of my monitors that's a monitor stand it's dusty i love it come on but what do you mean magnet this is this is the bottom of my monitor stand yeah i see what you guys seeing that like the dust on the thing is not actually dust it's like a it's like just speckled for some reason yeah what's your fucking desk look like okay right now at least 5 000 of you just crumpled up the fucking like mcdonald's french fry container you have on there just sitting there with like three just dead gross fries at the bottom that you didn't eat and you just like i threw that away that's not on my desk you're absolutely on something illegal i wonder how conv you know it's really funny i've had conversations with people in the past and like okay let's be let's just truly just take a second here and just talk about this i've had people in the past actually tell me yeah dude like i thought like maybe at some point maybe you were on drugs at some point no i'm just like really you actually fucking thought that like yeah i've like figured maybe you could have been i'm like no i've i'm not at all like get out of here like dude like be honest though like you like you've dabbled a little while on stream no absolutely not at zero never in my life in my whole life is this image real or fake 93 failed this quiz would you you get to okay i have to be really honest with you would if you get too close with anything it looks like this ever seen what one of your skin cells looks like under a microscope like you have any idea what you look like right now you understand how much how many dust mites are all over your body same exact deal it's a flash camera that i took a picture of this [Laughter] let's go can we get a battery cam no no you can't no there will be no battery cam silly zonka wonka i understand whipped cream has recently become available i have a recipe here that uses that very ingredient coffee with whipped cream what a recipe wow coffee with whipped cream on top what's the secret what are you holding back from us holy smokes the secret recipe it's brew a coffee and then hold the can upside down and go only your great great great grandmother knew that all right it's a hundred thousand dollars a hundred thousand dollars it's 520 grand in here there's a hundred fucking thousand dollars on the line just do not there's three whammies here don't click away me all right okay we're almost all right all right all right all right i'm up one more i'm done oh fuck yeah i'm about to sneeze again i didn't even sneeze once today why am i saying again he got killed somebody gave it here like killed me and muted the microphone right by how i would probably have made more noise than that [Laughter] you could see a dagger thrown into me yeah but wouldn't okay if if a dagger was thrown across the room like into my neck i wouldn't be i would be like i would be like [Applause] wouldn't i it was a laser weapon i look over i see this this this big green alien with like a big like mars attacks head he just goes like i go i see him and i see the beam that's all you get i got discombobulated [Laughter] okay so we have to get lemons i have plenty of milk obviously plenty of limes and now i need 100 lemons mocha is i need kona coffee i need a bunch more milk god damn it why would i put milk in this recipe now i need to have like 200 more milk uh a hundred kona coffee and a hundred lemons milk kona coffee lemons milk kona coffee lemons milk kona coffee lemons milk kona coffee lemons milk kona coffee lemons milk kona coffee lemons milk all right i just said that for like a 16 hour flight in a row don't you think like at some point through that flight you'd turn to that person and go open up your fucking iphone and open up the notepad and write them down just give me your phone number i will write them down and i'll text you in six hours after we land holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit that's 400 thousand dollars oh my god that's 400 grand holy shit i want to get a million dollars oh wow oh wow okay don't i'm never gambling ever again in the game because that's like half a million dollars almost why is t so expensive listen friend i just harvested him ow i like i just walked into the store and bumped my elbow on the like the side opening the door to the shop it's the dagger that's the reaction instead of being like no no no it's ow and then i'm dead hey man please talk about the duncaccino al doncachino the king of the coffee oh wait how are you referring to isn't gonna get a ton of minus twos and a bunch of people gonna be cringing over this i know i don't care that's the only part of the movie that i even watched that was bernie i like to call a meeting i would like five minutes of time uh the senator from vermont is being recognized for five minutes i just have to say that the duncancino from dunkin donuts is the best coffee that i've ever had is that all from the senator of vermont no of course not fuck all you everybody here you all fucked this whole thing up over the last like 25 years oh i'll watch a fucking idiot and by the way he's waving around uh extra large dunk a duncancino the ones that aren't even on the menu the ones you have to actually order special and it's spilling the whole this whole thing got all messed up let me tell you why we have we've got banks that are just the rights we got to change the rates of the banks break them up we have to do hold on let me put this down i'm getting really hated you guys ever drank an extra large coffee before i have they're fucking huge have you guys ever gone to sonic and gotten one of the large sonic pranks and then imagine you get one of those huge sonic drinks but it's coffee in there i've gotten that before you ever order a trenta from starbucks and then you kind of are in the line of the starbucks you get the trenta and you like turn around and you're the guy with like the comedy fucking sized thing like from 7-eleven in your hands and everyone's getting like smalls and regulars you're just like yeah i just got my huge one i've hey and you almost feel like you have to be like oh hey it's gonna be a long night no it's not that's just a regular coffee for you people go oh yeah it's gonna be a long night okay you must be yeah up all night doing some work for some reason you always have to like tell everybody oh huge huge fucking drink it's gonna be a long night this is not normal for me and it's gone in 15 minutes that was a family guy joke i don't care that was mad tv coffee guy joke minus two mad tv coffee guy joke you're assuming i watched every episode of mad tv do a giving birth live stream has any like youtuber tried to do that yet with like a beginning of the video there's like a referral link or like hey tell me in the comments like what do you think we should name the kid or something like a seven minute intro to like a giving birth video all you have to do is look and you will find what you seek like the guru on the top of the mountain the youtube guru is type into the google search bar what you seek you will find it log cutting videos asmr to elsa eats whole plate of spaghetti don't know why they exist but they do everything is there here are 160 sacks of amaretto rufus loddington will be staying here in town at the longshore lodge for the next few months if you can bring him 80 cases of coffee with amaretto before he leaves he'll pay for the products take the bag and run i own the establishment that would be very bizarre if the ceo had like product lined up meeting one of his employees and they said hey we have a bunch of the truck just came in with 200 sacks of amaretto and i grabbed them and ran away it'd be like okay well he's coming back because he owns this place it's very detailed really good shit superstar streamer german 985 i think he's gonna break your kneecaps what awesome artwork is always we'll see one more special blend sell it that's another big take all right whipped cream and amaretto leave them alone why do you type the number when's the giant sell all button you can use for each item it's a very good question i'll tell you the reason why i do that is so i can see the number the actual number the actual amount of money i will receive because if you hit sell all it does not tell you the number it's nice to kind of have a visual of how much money it's going to be worth i like to kind of see it i don't like corporate germa yeah he went on corporate oranges oranges oh last one ah fuck boy i'll take lemons please i need 125 of them change this to tart of the moon what'd i just buy [Music] this just looked like a lemon it looks like a lemon i i just clicked it and said go whatever it's cheap i got a baby i got 860 000 who cares get out of here i'm the king of the boxes i'm the king of the fucking boxes can you guys just hear me eating i thought the mic was muted i thought the mic was muted right when the cat boy comes up you just hear like oh my god i'm so sorry i thought the mic was muted i'm just sitting here like enjoying the art i shook up this huge thing dude just silently this is how that's how i watch like movies i must be so loud just shake shake shake [Laughter] we have where's wasabi oh i need to paste that whiskey nutmeg colombian chocolate and lime and honey oh man honey sounds good that would be yeah that would be very good i would i want to eat this right now i'm glad somebody said it frothy morning piss noise i said that yesterday of deep rich colombian chocolate mixed with the nutmeg which is nutmeg would be on top i'm going to sneeze again and i'm going to try to get away what style do i want this to be because there's whiskey in here okay the whiz i like that definitely that's the whiskey infused oh wait so the whisk now the whiskey is a dab on top that's a dab of whiskey it's like a toothpaste bring me 50 cases each of chocolate with honey arabian bold and you're the cuban clock cleaner oh my god that's so much you had to look down i'll take a 50 cases of chocolate bars with honey arabian bold and you're the cuban clock cleaner all right i need coffee haggle what a marvelous day what imagine raising your prices to somebody because they said what a nice day it is out today what the fuck jimmy this is joe zeiden not to be confused with joe biden i'm willing to take one billion off the debt if you let chad create their own candy bar that coffee posture really germa it's me joe zeiden not joe biden let chat make a candy for a billion off the debt joe zeiden and then we go no i just messed it up oh i the one with the doubles just fucks up my head let's get electrocuted i just put pulled hands on the stove silly zanka wonka what if i told you that i've just come from a special place a magical place a place not on your map where fortunes are won and lost and perhaps more importantly for you a place where one can find fresh beautiful strawberries would you do something for me if i can get you such a place yeah you won't be disappointed the place is las vegas nevada there are riches to be had there but beware i nearly lost my kimono all i would like you to do is to get me a hundred sacks of strawberries i'll find you in a couple of months oh we gotta let's get your strawberries right now we get a ticket to vegas i'm going home what are you trying to do rip me off stop getting sucked into a warm hope welcome to incredible las vegas they sell strawberries here it's quite the investment come on coin wait what happened that was 900 i just made a million dollars holy shit okay this is go okay this is a three i just made a million dollars this is a four hundred thousand dollar box play this two million dollars in prizes here one more one more box that's it all right i'm back i'm i didn't do anything i'm back to where i started we're fine i'm back to where i started i'm gonna pull one more slot machine one more that's it all right that's 180 000 bet which means we can do the box one more time at a fucking four hundred thousand dollars let's go okay i'm done fuck this game get out oh my fucking god oh my god why two three six nine 12 15 18 there's 21 boxes and you're telling me that there's three faces in the block and what's the chance that's three out of 21. there's a one in seven chance that you'll get it so shit where's the lady that has the strawberries that she wants i am not concerned at all i'm not concerned at all about this check this shit out you guys are concerned about this oh are you concerned about this this seven hundred and seventy thousand dollars back i didn't even nothing went wrong i got super reserved chocolates chocolates with lemons in them i'm fine i'm almost back with two million arabian bold i got 130 cases of this shit now we're over two million again okay yeah make an infusion with up dog what's up dog [Laughter] you just made uh like the lemur behind me laugh i didn't die i forgot to tell you guys i got a lemur i need to make strawberry shit right now milk milk 475 thousand dollars one more i'm good i'm good i'm good it's truly awful rng right now [Music] oh whatever i need it all i ever hear from this clown is wanting and complaints that person right now i don't want to see the person in my chat ever again wait something important i need to do i need pecans all right what do i get pecans and pagoda was that just in pagoda cloves haggle holy shit look at these pee holy shit you knew i was coming you knew i was coming i ah god damn it i was here i was on the phone with my agent i'm like i gotta buy five thousand things if you can't where do i get them i'll pay any price i don't care what it is i left he had a week to get ready and then i came back holy shit that's that absolutely absurd truly fucking absurd that i'm gonna pay this but i'm gonna do it because that means all right hear me out that means that this shit is worth a ton of money that means that right now pecans are anything with pecans are going to be worth insane amounts of money i'm going to make a ton of those pecan chocolate infusions but i hear my voice crack i just broke because i just did a million dollar dump okay my lot is that's how that's not how it works what do you mean it's not that's not how it works in the game what do you mean do that again jeremy you're bad at this dude it's not fucking hard this is annoying this is not this is like a ton of brain power it's like hurts my head look not everybody that lives in boston went to harvard okay that's 50 cases i'm good by the way all of us went to harvard every single one of us [Laughter] oh i just wasted like five hundred thousand dollars goddammit there we go all right use this recipe oh my god this is gonna be hell what this is horrible this way that way this way recycle get the fuck out of the way get out of the way get out of the way get out of the way that's on look at that i clean up how am i supposed to decide you can't recycle it's impossible not on this conveyor belt thing a little meatball need it bad come on where's the meatballs where are the meatballs what the fuck whatever 21 cases [Laughter] gordon ramsay where are the meatballs where the meatball these fucking meatballs are terrible you donkey so mango clove infusion i'm just gonna make a ton so these are going they'll be going for a little while we can sell the hell out of them i feel like germa is streaming this game to himself i mean i'm just trying to play the game i'm i'm trying to make money here i'm streaming just like talking i'm not even streaming i'm just like okay so we're gonna go over this way and after that you've read chat for once oh yeah i'm making big fucking bucks about two million dollars i'm up to two mil so now we gotta we gotta do that what are you doing let's take it we'll go to tokyo yeah i want to do the mango uh nice otto i want to sneeze i'm not about to sneeze polynesian colombian okay balinese coffee i need hazelnuts oh that wasn't a hazelnut that was a nutmeg was there a raid it was from the gray fruit hey i got i got plenty of gray fruits on me right now thanks for the red dude take a look wait that's not great that's do i have a grapefruit i thought i had a grapefruit well this one's kind of gray thanks to the red you're losing your vision that's gray right there i didn't say the whole fruit was gray that's this is gray right there is gray that's not green what are you talking about screen cap it an eye drop tool and paint and look at the rgb value one of you will do it and that um gladly will show it on stream what are you crazy does anybody have it 5e 5e573d is that a lie is that the right one 5v573d not even correct that's a troll color you're fucking with me that's not what color that's not the right color but by the way that's like yellow that's not even you guys you guys were wrong if you think it's that one that's yellow i feel like this is i think this is this is this is a lie [Laughter] whatever um so the my monitor my monitor's colors are fucked up bad it is not it is incredibly it's five times lighter when i look at it all right now we just collect money we just make a shitload of money i spent 1.5 million dollars to get here we're at the end game now peter gamer was crashed to punish me for doing what i just did and saying what i just said i'm going gonna get the 10 million i'm going to save the game and then i'm going to gamble and try to get to 100 million here we go price went up yes 10 million 500 000 hooray i did it 10 million golden dollar i can do one million dollar spin or i can do i can do a one million dollar box search or a one million dollar spin there's five million dollars here okay done done take it take it take it take it take it away right 11 million hot dogs okay wait i broke even we got three hot dogs do it again meatball broke even again 1.1 million dollar spin come on something huge point okay that was that was almost 10 million dollars we're at 20 million dollars let's do it almost 1.8 million spin 30 million dollars 30 mil i'm saving the game okay i wonder if i keep saves coming can i get to a billion dollars forget about being a chocolatier what if i just make a billion dollars by playing slot machines three million dollar spin coffee coffee oh good good good good 35 million let's go 3.5 million spin coffee oh that was done come on pan goes broke even three and a half million dollars come on give me those coins okay that's 28 million fucking dollars we're at 52 million 52 million save the game man goes yeah we're at 60 million let's do another one a six million dollar spin do it again coffee coffee do it again honey honey oh broke even with that many honeys fucking machines rigged the house always wins yeah here we go 63 million i told you i have the game saved i'm going for a hundred million come on i need one line of coins with a six million dollar bet and it'll be over there it is okay there it is i went 100 million dollars goodbye see you later that's fucking 100 million that's a 100 million dollars in my bank account right now good you didn't trust it you gotta trust the machine sometimes steve steve get over here well okay how about we'll do now because i won i beat the game i win we're gonna do a 10 million dollar spin [Music] why stop there why not go for a billion why not go for a billion why not do a 17 million dollar spin and go for a fucking billion dollars what do you say about that that's fucking pure mango right there 16 million spins let's go point 282 million dollars how about a 28 million dollar spin what about that what do you say about that video game okay we're almost 300 million dollars you had been thrown out of the casino by now that you're gone you're you're long gone coin 500 million dollars yeah it's uh yeah it's jeremy oh jeremy uh you know all of us on the board uh we're thinking making you ceo but we want you to do a various tasks could you give me 60 cases of hang up on that fucking guy i'm not going to talk to these people ever again 55 million dollar spin we just need coins just coins all around the run as a billion dollars come on give us the billion give us the billion give us the billion give us the billion we ain't leaving till we get to a billion hello uh jeremy uh look just find another ceo go fuck yourself i'll give you 50 million dollars to take the company wherever you want don't ever call me again man goes oh come on give us another one we gotta get to a billion come on there it is [Laughter] 700 million dollars [Music] hold on a second i gotta make a i gotta make a few phone calls [Music] hello this is uh greg's chocolates hey greg yeah it's your rival from down the street you know from boom on to yours chocolates i don't even i'm shit-faced right now i don't even know name my own fucking chocolate company greg hey how many how many outstanding shares do you have uh last time i checked i think we had five to ten million outstanding shares well guess who just put an order in for market buying all of them tomorrow morning um i don't know i don't know jeremy who was it it was me mr fucking greed my first name is jeremy apparently i see you in the morning when i make the decision you're gonna start having you guys make fucking ice cream cones made out of paper and then you're gonna liquidate you oh that's great thanks a lot yeah fuck you too that's what you get for spitting in my coffee 20 years ago [Music] asshole give me that come on 71 million spin and that's a coin [Laughter] oh that's a billion dollars do you even have this many limes one two three four five there's a hundred thousand limes that's 3.1 million limes [Laughter] hey and get yourself something nice i've got so many drugs where did i end up where am i how much money do i have my wallet 120 dollars the fuck am i this is why he's green you're in another pickle i see i'm able to help i'll loan you five thousand you will owe me ten thousand i will loan you five thousand but you must repay me twenty thousand okay listen i realize that the only way i can hope to see any return on my loan is to help you once again i'm not happy about this here's another 2500 here's another 2500. okay listen here's another 2500. five more limes listen uh here's another 2 500. well i'm gonna give you another 2 500. don't buy any more limes please what do you say my lives at market value here's another 2500

Channel: 2ndJerma

Views: 673,167

Keywords: jerma, jerma985, stream, highlight, Chocolatier, Decadence by Design

Id: yjEoeG46iBc

Length: 43min 8sec (2588 seconds)

Published: Wed May 05 2021