Hello josuke speaking. Oh Hello there josuke higashikata Fancy meeting you at this pier that i told you i'd be at Previously to kill your father it is I Akira otoishi as you may know me as Red Hot Chili Peppers Who my stand looks like a Chinese knock off of Frieza from Dragon Ball Z. Oh, yeah fuck you, but before I kill you Father, we will battle a Guitar battle that is can't we just fight with our stands? What's not? What are you fucking gay now? He's a guitar. I refuse to take part in this. prepare to experience the Bliss of my Hot Cross Buns I'm not going to fight you through a stupid battle of the bands fucking shit coochie what the fuck are you talking about he sucks ass. I like your ties. Excuse me. Mr. Kyoto, Ishii Can you please give us a fucking second? Thank you What kind of music are you listening to man? Kidz, Bop? What? Why dude? I'm only like 10 Why do you think I'm so short? I thought you were like, I don't know that actor, Danny DeVito, like a short person Cum on shoeskue its your turn to play a song AKIRA FOR THE LAST TIME IM NOT PLAYING A GOD DAMN SONG IS MY FINGER SUPPOSED TO BEND THIS WAY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I SHREDDED TOO HARD WITH HOT CROSSED BUNS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK No, you really didn't I'm pretty sure you just broke it yourself to make you look cool FUCK YOU SHOESKUE You know, it's a complicated song. I play guitar here for five years. I don't rock star pain Akira while you were busy complaining about your crappy guitar skills. I have trapped her stand in this tire NO NOT A TIRE, ANYTHING BUT A TIRE Looks like a Kara is pretty tired of your shit. EHHH JOUSKE, COOCHIE SHUT THE FUCK UP Hey josuke, were you able to find Angelo? No, which makes me wonder what dastardly plan could that maniacal genius be up to? AWWWWWWWW YOU HAVE THE CUTEST DOGGY EVER. I COULD JUST. EAT.HIM.UP Ahhh, why thank you E WANNA TASTE? But I'll be sure to keep a lookout for him josuke do you want some coffee Tee HEE HEEE Josuke what's wrong? It's Angelo. He's in my mother's body, but don't worry. I have a plan Mom there's a serial killer inside you okay, honey. I might have been with a lot of men in my day. Oh I'll just I'll call later. I know exactly what to do with you. You little cutie patootie WRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (Screams In Gay Rock All right, Kochi eyes peeled while I steal some lunch money from that rich prick cosmatos Locker I still don't see why you need to take money from them, dude I live in a house with a single stay-at-home mom where our only income came from my grandpa. So my grandpa's dead. Oh, yeah We don't remember that whole ordeal better, huh? damn Damn is right rest in peace Gramps No, that's there's nothing in here. But worthless junk like look at all this pink dark boy. What is he three? Yeah, only babies. Are you that sort of crap? (Short nervous laughter) And don't even get me started on this weird wooden Mannequin thing what do you mean? Everyone's got one of those right? Right, coochie I hope that you're joking. Wait. What the fuck? Oh It exploded. All right, cool. Okay, I Don't know if my eyes are playing tricks on me or not But it looks like that mannequin just turned into a guy having a bad hair day Great job josuke you've discovered, huh? hazamada's a stand user. Wait what I mean? Yes That is exactly what I did Ignore that as you can plainly see I've turned into an exact copy of a question. What's up with the hair? What do you mean? What's up with the hair? It's your hair. No way my hair looks way better than that doofy Yes, your hair is a doopy mess. You idiot. What the fuck? Did you just say about my hair? What the fuck? Did you just say about my hair? UGUGUGHG wHaT tHe fUck dId yOu sAy aBoUt mY hAiR never never mind dumbass as you can plainly see I've turned into an exact copy of you nearly exact copy Except for the hair. You didn't get my hair, right? Okay nearly exact copy of you. All right, that's it. I'm kicking his ass Oh, come on how many abilities do you have man? I also have the ability to make you copy my exact movements if you let me finish from earlier Then you would have known that. Okay. Sure. Maybe you moved me just a little bit But what if you're just bluffing, how about a demonstration? Sure force me to do something. I wouldn't do on my own. Well if you say so Jouske beats up a 10 year old asmr Let's see how josuke feels now after I forced him to hit his own best friend I said something I wouldn't do I fling coochie across the room on a daily basis (Idfk what he said something about a refund and pizza idk) Huh, This guys a bigger asshole than i thought Alright surface you've had your fun now eliminated josuke and let's move on Oh, is wittle baby upset that i didn't kill shoeskue yet Stop being a dick just do it. Alright josuke. My master needs to go. So, uh, let's stand this quickly here Okay, why'd you give me a mechanical pencil to do this Jesus Christ that was like 10 times more brutal than I thought it would be dude. Are you okay? Okay Speak up your blind thing. So it doesn't even make any sense You think I cared the joke makes sense or not? Dude, I shoved a pencil in your eye. It's hilarious. I I know I heard it. You just said your name was David Bowie. Eh. Oh no No, I think I left the stove on some of us SON OF A- Yeah, that's me David Bowie. you're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation Well, it's a long story, how about I give you the abridged version Can you guess who this handsome devil is yep, that's me in my prime Was happily in a relationship with my then current girlfriend. I Mean she was a disembodied hand but love has no labels, right? Mr. Kira, um, Mr. Kira Not to brag or anything, but I was a real hot item of the ladies. Mr. Kira If you're not too busy, would you like to have lunch with us? None of that mattered to me though. I was already taken What I truly desired though Was a nice quiet life but if I'm being perfectly honest my life could barely qualify as quiet So that brings us to this I Was enjoying a nice picnic with the other half when suddenly I heard someone approach so I hit my lover away When I looked it was just a dog nothing to worry about After asserting my dominance the mongrel scurried away I then continued my meal but left her in the bag this time for safety But then my whole world was turned upside down Ever since then my life has never been the same my simple quiet life Had forever fallen out of my grasp So I gathered you all here to tell you shigechi is dead What's a shigechi? damn it she get she I bet you died a brave warriors death Wow David Bowie, I'm your biggest fan You're the Bomb ha ha No, You're the bomb (Rip shigechi, died a virgin) So brave, yeah, I just wish that there was some sort of way that we could have saved him OI JOUSKE, OKOYASU, HELP ME What is that sound huh sounds like someone dying and crying for help, let's just sit here and ignore it THATS EXACTLY WHAT'S HAPPENING >:^( HELP MEEEEEEEEEE If only we knew what shigechi final message meant Listen you two. I was killed by a man named Kira Yoshikage. This is his button FIND HIM AND DEFEAT HIM (Small gremlin sounds) What is that sound Hey josuke, it's me coochie. Do I need your help? Oh, hey coochie, what's up? Did you pick up the milk yet? because there is a box of Oreos right in front of me and it is taking Everything in my power not to eat those Oreos Like I have I am Telling You that these Oreos are like they are like right in front of you Koichi Anyway, what's up, my big attack by an enemy stand user? I THINK ITS THE MURDERER. milk is a pivotal part of the Oreo experience. So I'm just saying that's something that I'm gonna be me (Angy short man powers) You are entering a plane of existence where time and space have lost all meaning and Existence where a plot can have as many holes in it as a Swiss cheese You're entering a place where everything is a goddamn reference. You are entering the Jojo zone Hey Coochie, what's up? Hello there josuke my friend how goes the daily grind? koichi what the fuck happened to your face? I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean jouske san. You look and sound hideous. What happened? That's not very nice of you to say my face and vocal cords are fine as they are doesn't seem fine to me. Okoyasu back me up here Okoyasu? Oh, oh dear God What the fuck Konoha
