Moist Meter | Five Nights at Freddy's Movie

I haven't showered yet I'm sure you can tell I got to keep that Fazbear grease on me so I saw Five Nights at Freddy's the second that it released in theaters I wanted to make sure I was planted swampass in seat ready to be blown away I'll be fully transparent here I went into this film without the highest of expectations I expected perhaps a fun bad movie not necessarily because I think the property is weak or anything it's just video game adaptations don't normally land they're usually pretty stinky but I I was hoping you know know maybe I'd be pleasantly surprised and to a certain extent I was this is going to be an extremely hard moist meter to do without spoilers cuz a lot of what I want to talk about is very spoiler heavy so I'll go ahead and get this out of the way as well I'm not the biggest Five Nights at Freddy's fan I've played a handful of the games mainly I speedrun Five Nights at Freddy's security breach that's like my you know big Venture into the franchise I know enough about the lore to understand what was going to be going on here as well as like the references and the characters and everything and when I saw the film as flopping with critics I kind of understood why because it is a pretty deep rich lore that I feel one movie isn't going to be able to do justice to get people brought into it and so I kind of went in here expecting that this will be a movie Five Nights at Freddy's fans are going to love and anyone who's not already a fan of the property is going to hate and now that I've seen it I think that's probably pretty accurate so let's go ahead and dive into the old Fazbear pizza here so what I really liked about the film is the main character I actually think Josh Hutcherson is the best part of this film he also happens to be a fellow Hunger Games co-star of mine Josh and I go way back on the set of The Hunger Games Mocking Jay part one some might say I taught him everything he knows about acting but you know I'm not here to toot my own horn point is he is the best part of this movie He plays a troubled man who watched his brother get kidnapped in front of him while he was a young boy and he is still haunted by that memory to this day all these years later every single night he goes to bed to go to that point in time in his mind he dreams that moment every single night because he believes somewhere deep in his psyche he saw the person that kidnapped his brother and he wants to catch him so he goes there tries to get more clues to try and catch the person responsible for kidnapping his brother so many years ago it's a really interesting concept and it plays into the overarching plot pretty well I would have liked it to have more of a role in how things pan out towards the end but I am I'm still very satisfied with what they did with that I think it's a really cool concept aside from that everything plays out exactly how you expect it to if you're familiar with the games Mike the main character gets a job as a security guard at Freddy Fazbear's place it's actually kind of goofy how he gets there he was a security guard at a mall beforehand and then he saw someone that he believed was kidnapping a child and he just beats the [ __ ] Daylights out of him in a fountain like he tackles him into like a fountain and just gives him knuckles sandwiches out the ass he was feeding him more knuckle sandwich than Freddy Fazbear fed kids pizza like this guy was going crazy on him so Mike brutalizes the guy which is never really touched on again even though I feel like he would have been locked behind bars after that incident it was a big misunderstanding he wasn't actually kidnapping the kid it was his dad and then after that he gets the job as as the security guard now the movie is absolutely at its best when it's at least trying to be a horror film this is by far my biggest critique of it there's only a handful of scenes that even attempt to do anything unnerving or tense or scary now it's important to mention that if you're familiar with their games then you know the backbone of the scares of Five Nights at Freddy's is jump scares would you believe me if I told you that there's almost no jump scares in this movie I think there's only two I think there's two jump scares in the entire runtime of this film which blew me away cuz I thought this would be like a completely Unapologetic jump scare like bananza but it wasn't and for the first time in history I swear on a stack of Bibles it actually was a detriment to not rely on jump scares because that's what built the franchise in the first place so I really think this is like one of the few movies that really could have benefited from having more of them now ordinarily I think that's extremely cheap for your scares because usually I'd prefer if you'd try and actually build tension be unnerving and all of that and since they weren't using jump scares they did try that but it doesn't really work super well most of the time so let me give you an example a scene where a character's hiding in a closet and a lights flickering behind them you can see an animatronic [ __ ] rabbit giving it like some psychopath Eyes giving it the stink eye and it becomes less tense and more silly because at its core looking at animatronic animals being evil is a silly wacky concept so the tension building doesn't really work in the film so I think this really would have benefited from just you know playing playing it safe with jump scares I think that would have been a little more effective but even if it's not the best when it comes to frightening the audience I still think it's at its best when it's at least trying to and when it's doing that it's very fun to watch like the animatronics look amazing in this movie the animatronics look spectacular like I think they did a great job with Freddy and the Gang I really do and there's a scene in particular where some some rap scallions some some less than Savory individuals break into the establishment to try and destroy it just ruin it even though it's already [ __ ] disgusting but they go in there to cause a Ruckus and the animatronics fight back and it actually gets kind of gruesome at one point like I was actually surprised it's a PG-13 movie but there's actually a couple scenes of Gore which I think is good like I think it added to it this movie was never going to be R in any universe that would be extremely stupid Five Nights at Freddy's is a property that's enjoyed primarily by the younger demographic and you can't have an R-rated movie that kids can go to so it was always going to be PG-13 but I am shocked at some of the stuff they put in here during some of these kills I'm happy about it but when they're not doing that they're basically treating this movie like it's Five Nights at Freddy's fanfi that they found on Tumblr complete with some cameos that Dro their famous lines here and there as well as like an entire sequence dedicated to Freddy and the and the squad building forts with Mike and his sister Abby and a cop named Vanessa it becomes like a summer camp thing for a little bit like they they treat half of this movie like it's a [ __ ] episode of The Rugrats sometimes like it just feels like it clashes with the tone of the horror of Five Nights at Freddy's perhaps it's because I haven't played every Five Nights at Freddy's game and I'm not super deep in the lore like I'm not like a lore historian on it but for the film I feel like it would have done better if they leaned more in on the unnerving aspects of it as opposed to kind of making it a 50/50 thing where 50% of it is kind of bubbly and sweet and the other half is the more horror stuff but again maybe that's just not me being maybe that's me not being knowledgeable enough on how the property plays out in the lore but those were my least favorite parts and especially because I think a lot of times the writing gets very very silly so in that scene I mentioned about the fort building the cop Vanessa is like best day ever like she's having so much fun she loves being at Fazbear's place she's loving that Mike and his sister Abby are getting along really well with Freddy and Bonnie and Foxy like they they're having so much fun and she couldn't be more happy but then Mike and Vanessa go to a broom closet and Abby plays the guitar and kind of like shocks herself which of course you know is it's scary and Mike freaks out and Vanessa freaks out and then she immediately flips this switch where where she's like don't you ever come back here again Mike if I ever see Abby in this facility one more time I'm going to shoot you like she just directly threatens him even though the cop Vanessa has been actively encouraging Mike and Abby to play with the Freddy and and the friends and like be part of the the crew here and have fun then all of a sudden she's like I'm going to [ __ ] shoot you if I catch you here again like it just feels like there's scenes missing where it builds up to her like disdain for them being here cuz like actually 30 seconds ago she had the biggest smile on her face grinning ear to ear so it just feels like maybe they knew where they needed to go but didn't know how to get there in a smooth manner so sometimes it just [ __ ] flips and I think it's actually exclusive to to the cop Vanessa because her whole role in this film is kind of just to be the Five Nights at Freddy's Wiki she is basically just an exposition robot she's not really so much a character in the film she's more like like a YouTuber who swoops in and wiggles their finger well actually Mike did you know and then goes into like this whole Exposition you know dump on what's going on so like it's no problem with the actress or anything I actually think she did a fantastic job on screen it's just she was written to kind of only be here to be a savior out of nowhere to keep people alive if things get a little too hairy or inform the audience of the overarching lore that's taking place or what's actually happening here so it just feels odd like I I wish they had done more with her as opposed to just making her the Wikipedia page for Five Nights at Freddy's she's not the only character that I feel is written kind of poorly there's actually a couple that seem like they're only here to remind the audience that these animatronics can kill so they're kind of there just to die and nothing else but aside from that I think what it focused on with Josh I don't know I'm calling him Josh you know we may be Hunger Games you know veterans but we're not on a first name basis Mike the main character and his sister Abby are really the focus of it and everything that happens around them outside of what happens inside Freddy's place is kind of just very odd like it starts to fall apart I really want to talk more about this movie but it is all spoilers let me this is going to be a minor spoiler but I just have to mention this because it is it is such a heads scratcher of a of a plot idea so minor spoiler just fair warning here a big thing that drives Mike to take the job as a as a security guard at Freddy's place is he may lose custody of his sister because his evil aunt is trying to get the girl so that she can make money from the government off having that kid even though she seems to already be really financially well off and it's not like the government's going to be paying her [ __ ] millions of dollars for this but regardless I think that's already a bit of an interesting idea the way she goes about it is she wants like she wants Mike to die like she even contemplates having him killed also so that way she can take custody of the daughter to make like a monthly paycheck off having the kid or something like that it's a really weird motivation and it's not even really important to the plot it's really just there cuz it gave Mike a reason to grab that job as a security officer but aside from that it's just kind of dumb and gets Sidelines pretty quickly she's not she she herself is also not really a character in this film she's just here to be like a cartoonishly evil presence that kind of you know haunts the place basically where she's there and she's on screen to be hated and that's it I'll stop going into spoilers there there's a couple more things that I'd like to say but that would be way too much in the spoilers territory there are things I liked there are things I didn't like overall this is a film that I am confident most Five Nights at Freddy's fans are going to enjoy and I'm also confident if you don't like Five Nights at Freddy's this doesn't really have a whole lot for you to get you invested and make you a fan although I do think the concept with Mike and like going into the dream state to try and solve a kidnapping case is interesting enough that I think it might push people to at least check out Five Nights at Freddy's lore to some extent and Five Nights at Freddy's lore is actually pretty [ __ ] good like it is it it is pretty interesting so maybe that will be what happens I also mention this because a lot of you saw the video there was also a fight that broke out at the premiere of Five Nights at Freddy's this is the last movie I would expect people to be throwing hands at but I wanted to mention that they're calling it the fight of 87 which is a reference to Five Nights at Freddy's with a bite of 87 where for some reason a bunch of people just started brawling in the theater on opening day for this movie so just wanted to to toss that out there I did see the video very very uh Wild anyway plugging Five Nights at Freddy's movie Into The moist meter I'm going to give it a 45% I think it is not a bad film per se I think there are bad moments and I think there are things that weren't executed as well as they could have but I do find it to be enjoyable enough that it was worth watching when I initially left the theater I was a lot less enthusiastic about it than I am now mainly because there is just like a period of it where it just kind of becomes a slog to get through and it clashes with what I think the tone probably wanted to go for but looking back on it I really did enjoy it with my friends like we were talking to each other a little bit back and forth Whispering of course cuz we're not trying to disrupt the theater about like how it ties into Five Nights at Freddy's lore and then also like there were a couple scenes where like all [ __ ] five of us all at once when it happened on screen went like this and then like that because it was so nonsensically dumb what just unfolded so it was a fun experience that I did enjoy even though overall I don't think it's an amazing adaptation for the property I think it's good enough that fans are going to be satisfied but I don't think it's strong enough to stand on its own two feet where people that aren't already invested are going to get invested I I think they're going to maybe leave a bit disappointed but anyway that's really about it see y

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Id: OvPqu6H2hUM

Length: 14min 16sec (856 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 28 2023