Model Homes II: The Power of Agreement - Bishop T.D. & Serita Jakes [January 26, 2020]

[Music] my wife and I spoke Sunday a week ago and we just shared the stage talking about model homes and and the response was overwhelming as we just begin to give some practical pragmatic tips includes about model homes from relationship interrelationships between husbands and wives relationships with your children relationship with your in-laws hallelujah glory to God we thought we will remind you how to reconnect because we know how Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner can be a man that when everybody comes over here everybody comes over everybody comes over do you got to deal with everything but we were talking about family and we were talking about model homes and it seemed to have struck such a nerve that I have asked her to come back and join me again it's funny it's funny I don't get that kind of reaction when it's just me so it's kind of it's gotta be you girl it's got to be you it's all about you both it's all about you is she going this is you gonna give it up for the first lady at his house put more not enjoyable honey it's about to get good I say it's about to get good are you glad to be in the house of the Lord this one let me explain to the visitors so they won't think that we're insane we normally this is our consecration month and we normally take this month we do more teaching our music department by large relaxes and get some minister to because they've been serving us all year and then we share the word of the Lord with you we've normally would receive the offering now we'll do it later we'll do it at the end but we're gonna we're gonna kind of queue up from where we left off can we do that okay you may be seated I'm gonna ask them to give you a just a reminder of where we left off at the last time that you and I one stage together seems like it struck a real chord I need some help on this yeah it was crazy the response was unbelievable how you responded it can't be a great 20/20 when you won't even entertain companionship not because you don't want it because you're too stubborn to change anything some of them want to look like they've had to kill me baby we gotta go out the back door by the time they've come to me they've pretty much made up their mind that they're going to get married and so the first thing I want to know is why it can't be something lofty like I love him you know what do you bring to the table that he needs at the time we got married the goal was to end up sitting on the front porch with our teeth in a cup sipping iced tea remember that okay so we agreed come hell or high water we don't write this out I mean all Holy Bible generalize all women see stuff like girl here have no ring on my wife taught me early do not take this ring off or I will kill you if I come over look at her normal enough six live them as she soon you'll be okay it's a [Music] [Applause] cut my hang out for a while because when you come hang out in life [Applause] [Music] I have yet don't let the gray hair I got you you got me I've got you okay [Applause] [Music] well well well well well here we go here we go on the journey of a lifetime I'm really trying to find a way I'm gonna be up and down because that's how I am but we're really trying to find a way to bring the experience and the spirit of your faith into your home so that there's not such a big disconnect between your relationship with God and your relationship with the people you love you know that's saying that I'll say all the time that that family is the gymnasium God gave loved to work out in that's it I'm gonna say that again family is the gymnasium God gave love to work out in that if you think about that that lets you know that that you are in an inescapable love situation in your family but sometimes you want to run away it gets tough it gets challenging a workout is supposed to be challenging you should see the work outside the design for myself it's easy raising a hamburger up I do like about 15 curls at the moment I get a trainer II in then all of a sudden it gets challenging so if you're if you understand then that your relationship is in many ways a gymnasium for a workout and you plan for challenges you expect challenges you don't think that it's demonic warfare all the time but that in fact in the process of raising a child no matter how cute booty booty is when you do booty grows up a little bit more you're gonna want to choke OD booty by the throat at least a few times along the way and that's normal that's normal your parents are going to get on your nerves sometimes we're supposed to get on your nerves what's the problem today is that most parents are so busy being your friend [Music] that they won't be your parent and and I wouldn't do phrases where I didn't care whether you like me you respect me you respect me till I die and then the ground you respect me take your head off when you walk past my tombstone cuz I'm your father you'd understand yeah yeah so you that that's a part of it that workout is a part of it and and today we're going to focus on the power of agreement the power of agreement and the funny thing about it is and we're going to get into this a little deeper agreement doesn't mean that I have to be like you okay yeah we talked last time about how different we are yes we are we are like nothing alike okay well that's not true it's about 50/50 yeah about 50/50 burger no make up 50% of of us is just alike that 50% that is alike really represents our core values absolutely absolutely and then I one of the things I noticed about marriage is there as a period of compromise throughout the marriage and that means that you Co promise [Music] mm-hmm and so a lot of times it doesn't mean that I get my way it doesn't mean that you get your way it means that we meet in the middle and come up with a solution that's amicable for both of us which means you have to be mature so so marriage is not for children that part it really isn't for children and and maturity is not always indicated by birthdays no you can have a 40 year old child okay so you're talking about in order to compromise and give up on your way you you know you know something I think I think you I think you have to feel safe enough to be vulnerable those definitely yeah and that even goes back to submission we have to feel safe enough to submit meaning that we know that you won't take advantage of us or that you won't take it as a sign of weakness submission is something that you opt to do I submit I put my mission under yours and sometimes mine can float to the top and then sometimes yours will surface and stay there mm-hmm at the end of the day it's you that the wind hits first if you got a real man yeah yeah yeah when the Bible says that I am covering if that means it's supposed to hit me first so as a man I shouldn't be upset and feel unfair or feel like I'm being used because it hits me first that covering headship is really about covering it's not about it's not about dominance no no it's about covering what what whatever whatever is gonna face us is supposed to hit me first now you know I was thinking there's so many things coming in my mind at the same time I don't know why because you said you said they're thinking about submission and when I was teaching several years ago submission one of the things that I found out about it's not just said the woman is submissive the man also has to be submissive yes yeah and and I'm gonna take this someplace where where we can really do an entomology on the word submission the word submission etymology the etymology of the word is to submit to the mission submit to the mission and we do it all day we do it every day we do it at work yes yeah I mean you're not answering the phone or typing a little coding or processing or jackhammering or doing it because you want to you submit to the mission yes and somebody makes clear what the mission is yes and then we align to the mission okay because with without a mission without a purpose then problems become the mission if you don't have a clear mission statement of where you're trying to go in your life with your family any anything you're in should have a mission Wow because to me the power of agreement centers around the mission absolutely the relationship will go through all kinds of changes but the mission remains the same the same yeah at the end of the day the mission remains the same so it's a stable thing and that mission is built around your core values one of our core values week we joked about it a couple of weeks ago where we were talking about we didn't foresee the day that you could get dentures has stayed in but we did perceive the day that we would need them and we made a commitment I was 24 she was 26 when we got married and we made a commitment that we would end up on the front forest with our false teeth and a cup drinking iced tea that's a funny way of saying we're in it for the long haul that's it we're in it for the long haul so let's settle that right now that's core value for us we're in it for the long haul man I'm not saying and I always have to do this disclaimer I'm not saying you should stay with somebody who's abusing you I'm not saying that you should stay with somebody who's threatening your life I'm not saying you should stay with somebody who's abusing your children some deal's off deal-breaker time to go Safety has got to be above everything but to this day we've been married 38 years yes sir yeah 30 years yeah somebody else clap we heard that clap we are in 38 years 38 years only wife I ever had we have been married for 38 years she's the mother of all my children in the world for 38 years we have been together through the sunshine through the rain through pleasure through pain through good times - bad time through prosperity through poverty through life through hunger through abundance through it all we stuck it out we wrote it out we were submitted to the mission in 38 years we have never used the D word negative never never got mad and said it never used it to intimidate the other person and when we counsel couples today I run into a lot of couples that use the D word all the time like it's nothing yeah divorce make sure you got the right date it just occurred to me depending on where your head is that he can paint a lot of things but we want to use some other things we didn't use divorce [Applause] we didn't use divorce as an option so when you start talking about I want to go I want to go to that I think we were talking about this morning that you do about of the the similarity between the marriage process and and in life there after the wedding absolutely on the wedding to the marriage well you know we put all of our attention on the ceremony the wedding ceremony but prior to the ceremony there's a time of celebration that begins and the girls have a party you have a bachelorette party the guys have a party they have a bachelor's party but not you and too late and then and then you get to planning for the wedding and I don't care what you say in your vows it's all going to come back to the old-fashioned Val for better for worse sickness and in health it doesn't mean that when the water rolls back and I see you walking on a cloud I all love you no ma'am sickness and in health till death do us part and then after the wedding ceremony we have the honeymoon and so throughout your marriage you're going to have to repeat those steps you're going to have to have girl time he's going to have to have guy time yes lord please No whatever habit was you you need time to miss each other oh how about that I like the way you put that you need time to miss each other and and sometimes depending on and everybody's relationship is different that's why I use the term bottle home when you go in and look at a model home it doesn't mean that you have to totally duplicate the model home it just gives you some options you might want granite someplace they have something else you might want carpet in the living room they got hardwood floors but it gives you a vision of similar symbolism of what you're trying to do how you develop the uniqueness of your home doesn't have to duplicate the model but it gives you a jump off point to begin to understand what you would like to have and the distinction between what we're saying and what you do is based on who you are because who you are might not be who I am and who you are might not be who she is but there aren't some basic things that go on core values they go on either way and when you start talking about girl time and and guide time for a lot of time to give people a breather and sometimes it's hard to give people a breather when either you don't trust them say or or you don't feel like you're worth loving enough for them to think of you when they're gone see people bring baggage you see what I'm saying people bring baggage into relationships so there's a reason that some people are clingy that they have a separation disorders and fears and it doesn't mean that they're weak or they're crazy but they've been through some things that that you have to because marriage is also ministry as you go along in the relationship there's a ministry that goes on with what's broken in me and what's broken in you I didn't come into the marriage without brokenness she didn't come into the merits without brokenness that's why we're in the gym yeah don't you think that the marriage vows are kind of like on the prescriptions you know and the only commercials for the medicine and they have the beautiful commercial name right down at the end you know there you got this floor maybe you got bumps on your forehead and if you take this it'll make your bumps go away and then down at the end and say it could cause cancer and leukemia and die of a dread disease could fall into the fire probably that's why some people develop kidney failure and some people have our disorders as a result of this but use this today you know that's what the marriage vows kind of are while you're all exhilarated and then to have this titillating feeling and with exuberance about the love that you have for the person that you finally found out of 8 billion people in the world have found it's one it's who is tailor-made for me and I love him so much of the ministers of their warning you for better or for worse for richer or for poorer in sickness in and out she's gonna get sick you're gonna get sick you're gonna have job changes you're gonna have career changes this is not going to be a straight ride there's going to be problems along the way and I think that many people attack each other rather than the problem yes yes yes yes and it's easier sometimes to talk about the problem and no it's easier to blame someone else for the problem than to take onus that it's part your fault too yeah so so there needs to be an agreement even about that nd yeah if we attack the issue rather than the individual and then examine the ownership that we have in the issue if we have it it may be an issue that has nothing to do with you relative to how you get along with each other in committee issue in your life and but those issues bring stress and under stress our personality changes for sure and you can't just be married to me when I'm happy that part you have to love me with an attitude you have to love me when I'm scared you have to love me when I'm walking around the house and I won't talk you have to love me you have to understand that I'm going through changes and learn my signals and I have to learn your signals and learn how to read you know I was thinking I was thinking this week cause I knew we were going to do this that most of the things that I have ever been mad at you about I was wrong yeah now now let me clarify let me couldn't find okay most of the times that I have ever been angry with you it is because I have assumed that your behavior meant something that it didn't okay okay I'm not wrong by anything else but either but but I jumping to conclusions and processing the other person as if they were you thinking that if if I did that it would mean this would would cause me to draw wrong conclusions about you and the bad thing about male anger is we can be silently angry okay and not say anything at all we don't send you a notice or warning or text or email we just brood on the inside until we blow up somewhere on the outside and only to find out that what the whole thing was based on she didn't think that at all so understanding that the agreement means that I cannot come into the agreement as a professor and think that I know you to the point that I make a judgment which makes me prejudiced i prejudge you based on did what we didn't plant say that that's not in the script base but based on what that would mean if I did it please hear me your wife is not a land and a skirt they are a completely different species yes about the same term your husband is not a girl with pants so what you think and what your girlfriend thinks about the relationship may not be the best advice because she has a way of imposing her past experiences and helping you decide what that meant girl let me tell you what that means when they say that wait a minute talk to me please and I have to talk to you yes and when when we talk we have to understand and people tell you to communicate but communication is gym equipment it is gym equipment because number one it's it's not always easy to talk about things that are the most sensitive to you so it is easy especially with men to talk about things far removed from us what we do what happened at work the game who's playing tonight we talk about women we talk about sex we talk about but when you start wanting us to talk about how we feel not all men are proficient at being able to communicate how they feel emotionally even if they are very articulate sometimes when it comes down to being able to verbalize their emotions and how they feel becomes difficult yes and so that's one element of toughness with communication the other one is we say the same words but we don't mean the same thing oh okay and here's my famous illustration I wish I had another one a freshman but I like though what I'm going to use is my wife and outside we're going on vacation and I immediately think oh good we're going on vacation I get something by the water with a beautiful view with a nice sunset with the sound of the waves breaking up against the rocks I'm packing with an expectation I'm planning with an expectation I got my music on cue I'm ready she's just as excited as I am only this is what she's thinking tell him what you thinking sleepy I I thought we went on vacation because we were tired and we needed some rest you're not tired [Laughter] no never let's just say we rest differently yes yes yes yes for form form for for the man often times intimacy and closeness with you without the distraction of children is yeah I know you got my back don't you yeah you have one real man in the house are they anymore we have had to share you with the kids and work and your mother and your auntie and who's sick in the churches who needs the front porch face and we finally get you off to ourselves where we get to be number one so when we say vacation we gonna catch up on all in months oh I can't talk to church people like that I can't be real with I'm sorry y'all have nice Christian people we can't have this conversation the reason I like the illustration is she loved her thinking I don't have to put on makeup I don't have to roll my hair I can sleep in as late as I wore to I don't have to get the kids off to school or we're gonna have a time and I'm over there thinking thank you thought [Applause] I hope they can edit that out of the tape [Applause] I'm bad but I won't be good I would be good I'm not gonna embarrass you I'm gonna be good okay now sit up we make it we make it powerful breathing it's gonna be rough [Applause] as funny as that illustration is that's true about bills that's true about what we're going to do about the kids that's true about what we're going to do about our parents we say the same words but they don't mean the same thing so my famous sentence when we're communicating is you might what do you mean by that I'm gonna ask you that every time what do you mean by that because I don't want to assume that what I thought you meant is what you meant by that because I can think wrong and make a decision yes because remember when you get verbal we make decisions yes often about you without you and we don't have to leave we don't have to divorce we don't have to leave to disconnect no you know that little seam on the bed on the mattress me when he's a little bit annoyed with reader he rolls right to the edge of the bed this is the power of agreement yes yes yes right to the edge of the bed that means don't touch me don't talk to me don't breathe on me nothing and so like if you get to rumbling around and your foot hits mine I think we're back together and you snatch it back real quick like I still mean don't touch me don't speak to me know what is funny is seeing this much body on that little that little rim and not fall off the edge I can get right if you brothers if you leverage yourself just right you can get right on the right on that cord right there and not fall off and sleep all night [Applause] oh they love these kinds of feelings come up I don't care how spiritual you are I don't care how many scriptures you quote I don't care if you go to bed talking in tongues these kinds of issues come up in fact let's deal with this marriage is natural not spiritual we will not be married in heaven marriage is an earthly institution ordained by God so that we can minister and meet each other's needs and accomplish things in the earth that we could not accomplish without each other are you are you understand what I'm saying so when you bring all of your church experience home and you're upset with me because I'm not praying in the spirit with you you have to understand that marriage is not Church [Applause] and churches not marriage let me prove it to you when God created Adam there was no Eve but getting more God did not give him companionship so God says to Adam I will be your God but I won't be your wife we need something else for that we got to have a degree of separation here too bro don't be tapping me on my shoulder okay so now if you understand that in the natural then you can't spiritualize marriage and become my pastor and become my accountability partner and become my critic and be and you evaluate my what was a my walk with God your is my walk with God that really is not up for your commentary or assessment you can be a witness by your walk with God but you can't and we don't get in each other's walk with God if I walk in the room and she's praying and I often do walk in the room and she's in there praying tears are running down her face and she oh god she is God are having a moment I generally back out because I don't know what she's talking to God about I don't need to know what she's talking to God about she might be talking to him about me whatever it is her walk with God is her walk with God how she relates to the Holy Spirit versus how I relate to the Holy Spirit is as different as the difference in the way we're dressed just because we got married doesn't mean we merge our spirituality to the degree that I must be you in order to be validated as a Christian you to understand that I have my own walk with God absolutely so when we start talking about agreement we're not talking about and this is the problem with our country in in my view we think that agreement in order for us to have unity we must have sameness so we end up in all of these battles trying to make each other each group like the other group you can have unity around core values and still have distinctions if that's not true then we should give up our marriage because we are not saying no we are not saying we are not homo we are not saying we are hetero which means we are different yes but we can have unity and become one flesh and they shall become one flesh but that still doesn't mean that she doesn't get to be an individual with her own walk with God and her own personality and her own dreams and her own goals some women in this room are scared to get married right now because they don't want their goals to be swallowed up but a man who knows who he is it's not afraid to let the woman be who she is that's good good good good that's so true and you you have to understand that and and what we I was explaining to another couple because whenever they do anything the problem is whatever he's in charge of she's running it and whenever she's in charge of something he's got his mouth in the first thing I told him is that's women's stuff what are you doing into that I don't get it a no girl stuff y'all can have a disagreement a catfight she thinks she's cute fine I just listen and grunt I don't get into that because you understand things about each other that we don't understand about each other and so I'm not getting into that by the same token I don't want you in my stuff choosing who my friends are where I go how I express myself what I do because I had a I had a female like that but that was my mama and even though I might call your mama some time I really don't mean it like that and you might call me daddy sometime but you really don't mean it like come on [Applause] what I'm trying to get you to see is just because you're a professional and an intellectual doesn't mean that you have to marry an intellectual just just because you're a fashion model that mean your spouse has to be a fashion moment just because you're an athlete that means that you have to marry an athlete you can have distinctions and still have unity if you have a mission what is your mission won't be on to the couple who has no idea of a mission of a goal of where you're trying to go with your life and God help the children who are born into the house of a family that doesn't have a brand because that means that if me and her don't figure out who we are then we birth children who don't know who they are and all of us are sharing the same space and we have nothing to agree on because we don't have a mission that nobody has any submission which leaves us with division yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes every person in this room daughter son husband wife single person divorced person you need a mission amen you need a mission I think I think you age more quickly without a because you just just aimlessly aimlessly no target just beating the air yes and and Wes wasting all of your effort doing nothing absolutely you know I mean your mind is just full of nothingness when we were in college we used to say that excuses are the tools of incompetence they build monuments of nothing and those that are accustomed to use them rarely do anything else but make excuses say that again [Applause] excuses are tools of incompetence they build monuments of nothing and those that specialize in using them are seldom good for anything else excuses mm-hmm Wow so what you need to do is to move away from the excuses and get down to the mission I don't care if your mission is to go to the cancer ward once a week and hand out cookies you need to have some mission something to care about something to work on something to fuss about something to be upset about something that drives you they get you out the band in the morning well I don't have a mission I don't know what my mission should be I'm gonna help you find your mission your mission should be built around the things that when you think about them or do them you get in you get energized yes your mission should not drain you your purpose should not drain you you get tired but it shouldn't drain you to do it it shouldn't vigor at you if you're getting ideas and creativity and you get energized that thing that gives you the most energy and the most power is your mission nice now we're not talk we have we all have a great Commission to to win souls for the kingdom but the reason they call it the Great Commission because it's not the only cook the only mission fine and if you're not careful whether you use words like retire or maybe you don't have a job right now and you're going through a pier where you just got out of school you don't have a job you still need a mission if you start waking up in the middle of the day and you have no reason to get dressed and you have no reason to go out it weakens you it dumps you down you stop being hungry you stop being alive you stop being effective somebody shout Lord give me a mission you like give me a nice because if you're gonna have agreement I think you have to have agreement around the mission absolutely and it's not just where the woman is submitted to the mission the man also has to submit to the mission and the children have to submit to the mission or the family doesn't go forward now once you get out on your own you can develop your own mission statement but as long as you sit down up in here and put your feet up under my table this is yeah this this is who we are this is what we do this is what we're about these are the court now you can express yourself uniquely in some other way but when it comes down to what we are about you cannot have agreement if you cannot agree around or coalesce around certain goals that we have in common still being unique yes still have about me time still being my own person with my own personality but when it when it comes to these core values we have agreement that's why every year I asked you and maybe sometimes twice a year I asked you what do you need from me now who do you need me to be now because our relationship has grown from when I was your armor bearer and I drove you everywhere and I helped you change your wet clothes and we were driving and the boys were in the back and then we came out of that phase and you got started moving quickly and I was at home having babies and so when you introduced me back to the stage I had been gone for so long that I could scarcely the what they did they put that picture up right there you remember that yeah that's a Smithers and we had just bought this church in Smithers that we had no money and it was a rat hole it was raggedy and was nothing it was a condemned building and I was all excited see how I'm grinning I had just gotten off work because I worked every day and I had gotten off work we jumped in the car drove an hour and something up the road to go paint and she's up on the ladder yes because I can paint whatever I was after she was supportive of it yes she was supportive if if it was rolling a paintbrush or bringing hot Bologna she was in my corner let me go further what ever she is after whatever whatever she is after whoever I am so [Laughter] [Applause] hold up there you at the bar no no I am also asking her what do you need from me do I need to be there dude do you need help financially to do that can I make a phone call to help you because we are in agreement yes we are in agreement we are in agreement ok the power say that with me the power of agreement if any two of you agree as touching anything on earth it shall be done unto you if there were anything the devil did not want us to have is agreement because when we touch and agree we are better together than we are apart that means state Mohammed I got your back I got your back up and down we can scroll right or wrong everybody runs away I got your back I may be fussing but I got your back I may think you crazy but I got your back the power of agreement releases a level of anointing that you cannot get any other way if you don't have a spouse have a prince friend have a sister have a son have a daughter in time to people come into agreement god inhabits what you agree on the reason the devil is at war against your home it's not that he doesn't like you he doesn't like agreement so he uses penny things right feelings attitudes feeling unloved to break the agreement because if you touch and agree you can release the power of God like something you have never seen in your life if two or three of you are gathered in my name God says there am I in the midst of you I am in them I dwell in your dreamin I don't know this might shock you I don't live in your church God does not live in the polish house we built this for us God does not need a house built by men to holy he's to be God dwells in our unity and if there were any way that the enemy can divide our unity he will use it to destroy the place where God dwells for there and I the Bible says in the midst of you behold how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity it is like the oil that fell upon the head of Aaron onto his fears and onto and skirts watch this for there God commanded the blaze of their we're in your unity somebody said let's get together if we get together if we get together even if what I'm doing doesn't directly affect you knowing I have your support that is agreement agreement is the sausage sandwich you fixed for me every Sunday morning because I leave for church earlier than you she will run out the door with this and I have to eat this everywhere I'm hungry or not I must eat this sandwich or she will kill me so she has it all wrapped up and it's all nice and it's in a little plastic container and if one of the guys forget it she will kill them and it has a napkin in it and it has a cup of coffee in it and a paper cup then with a top on it that's sealed up and already made that is support if she's getting ready she's opened up a business and started a company where she's doing Serita Jake's homes and she does all of this stuff for homes and placemats and napkins and all of this kind of stuff and and and gifts and luggage and all of these eyes she's expanding the brand is going all this stuff then I told her let me see the contract because I'm your protector and I want to make sure that nobody's trying to do you in and I'm gonna come into that meeting see that that's my sausage sandwich that's our sausage sandwich lady that's my sausage sandwich I'm gonna make sure with the gifts that God gave me that you have what you need to do what you were trying to do and I don't care how how you go and I don't care how far you get and out of there's no limit I am still good with it because we are in [Applause] the power of agreement so when I said to her I think I'm I think I'm finished in West Virginia imagine this we had just bought a new home the first time we had ever owned it was a sprawling home we had gotten it all decorated and all fixed up and all the drapes and everything ready and it was just got where we could entertain and do good in it and all of a sudden I said to her one Sunday night after coming home from church I said I think we're leaving that's what I love about our church is so interactive it's kind of more like Starbucks we have these compensate I said I think we're leaving she said leaving what do you mean I said I don't know but I could hear it in my preaching I can hear it in my preaching because when I preached at night I was talking about Elijah being caught up in the air and what do you do when the chariot is coming you have nobody to pass the mantle to what do you do what do you do now after about five what do you do I was almost in tears and then when I got back home I thought that's coming out of your spirit and I said to her I think we're leaving shortly thereafter I had identified this spot she never had never lived out of West Virginia in her life I had neither come to think about it I traveled a lot but I'd never lived anywhere else never gave me a backward never asked me nothing just I'm with you look what was burst out of our agreement no stand up a minute and just look around you you are standing in the power of our agreement had she fought me not the building not the lights not the cell not the 300 employees not the thousands of people online or in this room would be here you are standing in the power of agreement now you see why the enemy fights agreement I could never be Who I am fully at my fullest potential without her she could never be who she is and her fullest potential without me so all the enemy has to do to abort the birthing of our promises is to divide our agreement because all of this is in us touching and agreeing I believe that 2020 is your year to touch and agree on some things that have evaded you and avoided you all of your life and in order to be effective at getting those things done you have to be in agreement we don't have to agree about the music she plays in the music I play we don't have to agree about her being introverted I believe in extrovert we don't have to agree on her life able to be at home and I like to travel that's her this is me but on our core values when the rubber meets the road we must have agreement touch we people say let's get together I wanted extra somebody get next year and bring him out here to me and sit down for a minute I'm going deeper I'm going deeper if we are in total disagreement now let me search something about agreement because I wanna I want to make sure that you understand what we're saying agreement doesn't mean agreement doesn't mean he came out of the agreement too [Laughter] [Applause] turn around and face the people boy he said I didn't come up here for the head [Applause] you may be coming into a house and being born in a house where you know that we are human and flawed and yet in agreement how did that affect you growing up in our agreement I think for someone who was engaged I think it has impacted the way that I handle relationships in general so a lot of the things that I learned at home are translating in my relationships so having some line of synergy was always inherent in what I wanted so I'm not gonna be arguing with you about certain things we have to have agreement on the core things so you always said keep the main thing the main thing that's what always good to keep God in the center of the relationship so like you were saying you're submitting to what God's purpose is for your life so that's the thing that keeps us in alignment at all times that's the agreement hey man that's good stay right here stay right there I'm gonna work here a little bit more you see what I'm saying when you and I talk and you say to me you know dad when you were 24 you were here and and I'm 25 and I need to be getting things going how much how much how has it affected hit you how much do you measure yourself by me there's no way to really explain that other than that is the way that I'm kind of gauging my success just depending upon where you are were as a unit particularly but that's always something that I'm engaging in my cell phone so what we become whatever we model you measure from absolutely okay it defines the tempo it defines the tempo so he's measuring himself by what is modeled in front of him if we if we create chaos if we create chaos then he is born in our confusion he is measuring himself by our uncertainty we'll duplicate that in my own relationship you will duplicate it in your own relationship because it would define to you what being a man is all about and consequently you would be at a terrible disadvantage because you don't have the model to go in front of you because every blessing and every gift is going to come through your agreement am i helping anybody so a lot of times we get angry at our children for not being what we didn't model [Applause] now there were some things I couldn't model as a father when when denture got ready to go out for football I never was in this sports so I remember calling Deon and saying listen he's going out for sports football and that's not my thing so come down here and help me I showed up at the games I was there I might have just got off the plane but I was there at the games but so far is helping him with his technique and how he needed to get down and how he needed I wasn't the person to do that what am I saying you don't have to have everything to give what you've got and if you didn't have a father there are surrogate relationships that will supplement what you didn't get but everybody in here needs a model so stop using not having a father and that it's huge for a lifetime of confusion because over the course of your life there ought to be a dr or somebody that you can get on the phone and call and say i'm not good at this as being model that and get better the point is you can't be it by yourself I got enough to fight when I go out I don't want to fight when I behold I got I got it every time I go out the door every time I go through the gates every time I get on a plane every time I walk in the mall every time I sit down in the office to do business every time I go anywhere to do anything I gotta fight I gotta fight every day I gotta fight every day I got a fight to be respected I got a fight to be recognized I gotta fight for what God promised me I got a drive-up the Hittites and the jebusites and the garret sites away from the promises of God that God has given in my life I want to drive them out I don't want to marry the Hittites the Jebusites and the giris eyes and come home and fight with you so when you start talking about compromise we learn to compromise and when you start talking about agreement and submission that we said something last week that that led us to this week that the reason that we we believe the reason that we've always been together is that we believed in something bigger than ourselves okay so we always had a dream and what's so funny putting that picture back up there again the picture you had her up on the ladder yeah the woman that was up on that ladder and the guy who's standing beside her in the coveralls in in that in that facility right there it was up in Smithers I'm looking at the door to recognize nature with its feathers it's up in Smithers when we first got that building the boys my oldest boys who are now 40 were little boys and we were feeding them baloney from a store called Corelli's next to the next door we were you remember Corelli's and we were feeding them baloney saying with Lawrence knows what I'm talking about and Lars remember saying there are a lot of people that's true that remember me when I was at the church what I needed from her at that point as a wife I don't meet her up on the ladder now paint anything I don't need her with her hair wrapped up doing that so your needs changed and your life changing we don't have any more babies anymore no cribs our seeds all of that's going to change so don't build your life around things that are going to change listen you have to be prepared to have agreement in a constantly changing environment because what what it what what we needed at 20 is not what we need at 40 is not what we need at 60 and those updates she's talking about you were talking about the updates I call them updates stay with me you call them updates every night then you get on my phone if you got a good phone like I do Apple is a good phone here not fight about the songs out anyway anyway I'm pleased and I might you silly take that out I don't want giving their doors for Apple for free my dream problem anyway what-what-what-what it sins is updates in order to survive in a business in a company in a church in a choir in a marriage in a family you must receive updates updates updates you cannot think that giving me what I used to need it's giving me what I need now I cannot assume that who I used to be and what I used to give you is what you need at this season in your life am i helping anybody in order to be ready for 2020 you can't go after 2020 if all in your habits look like 2019 then you're 2020 is going to look like 2019 what updates do you need to download in order to really have a new year in your life that's one of the reasons you come to church so that you can download updates that change the way you function do you not know that's what that did not know what the anointing really is the anointing is God sending you a download and if you receive it you get an update so all of a sudden when you walk out of the service you have things functioning that weren't functioning before because he's fixing things down inside of you you ready for what's next in your life somebody throw your hands up and say download I wanna 20/20 download that's going to update me so then I'm not functioning in 2018 I will give us let me give it to your Bible give us this day come on that's a good shopping spot right there you missed it in in this unstable environment the the Dexter that we see now is almost two inches taller than me yeah that's right humble yourself [Laughter] got on my nerves when God let him get taller than me I said that's not fair I told myself you're gonna have another gross virtue so I have another gross swear but he still told me anyway who he is now it's not who he was twenty years ago the relationship we have now he and I talk about this all the time he said dad you're telling me things now then why didn't you tell me sooner I said you weren't old enough it wasn't time that's why I tell you it wasn't time it was a time so there are things we can talk about now that I wouldn't dare told him at fifteen because he might have used it against me so so our relationship and the reason I brought him up here is I want to talk about all dimensions of relationship our relationship is also updating to downloads updates downloads updates I get a download from God I get an update I get an update that affects how I download to him which updates him as to what is required for where you are right now talk to me better as a result of it absolutely as a result of the agreement now we have which we need show they absolutely yeah how do you at what point in your life did you really see the agreement and what what matters and what doesn't matter and and the substratum of what connects us as as parents to you I think it was easy to put you all on a pedestal there first because of who you are are not just as my parents but in society but as you start to see the humanity of a person it starts to change your perspective so you all were once in my shoes 20 year olds trying to make something out of nothing right but now we can have that conversation on how to bridge the gap and do it in a mature manner it's appropriate now though it's appropriate now it's appropriate now exactly in everything in its own season let me say this to you are you getting something out of this okay I have been a Boyar of not only my own life and raising five children and now having grandchildren and all of that but I've also been a Boyar of other people's lives because I get an opportunity to meet all kinds of people Council all kinds of people from the very top of life from from from the white house to the crack house I had been there and done that and got a t-shirt and and let me tell you some of the people who do the best and I best is not about money necessarily I'm talking about happy fulfill gratified in life are the people who learn how to function in unstable environments that and and and let me show you something I hope I hope you're getting something out of this if you try to build your agreement on everything you'll never have anything so the reason a lot of people never get ahead is because until you change them into what you want them to be you're going to keep fussing at them until she changes me into everything she wants me to be she's gonna continue to be angry with me until he changes us into what listen you're never gonna get there we gotta have some core principles that we agree on while everything else is moving we must have agreement around those core principles because and we must be able to flourish in the midst of chaos because what being a father to him now means is totally different from what being a father to him when he was a little boy we tell him about the picture we I think it's your favorite I know it's my favorite picture of me and you there's a picture of us from about when I was five years old standing on the shores of Hawaii looking off into the waters and we're just holding hands and I'm holding this staff right there the agreement started in those moments that's right that was how we started to build that and it just sprung from there its modulated over the years but the agreements started right there it starts right there it starts down there the core the core the main thing the main thing starts right there and it's important in the formative years that you build those core things at that point so that when they go through adolescence and you're going through midlife crisis and you're going through life and all of a sudden we've been through everything we as soon as we got here her mother died we hadn't even learned our way around her mother got sick two weeks later she was dead she had never been sick nothing she died her best friend the person who would keep the kids that you could really trust the person who was a confidante the person who was with you right of died and I was one of the people who happen to love their mother-in-law my mother-in-law stayed in our house half the time that I was glad so I didn't have any kind of mother-in-law stories to tell you now we're in an unstable City in a new place meeting new people in a new church have bent the farm on this word from God and part of the stability changes her mother dies and you and you're in an unstable environment and the art of life is to fight is to survive the instability well well we survived it as much as you survive losing somebody that you love because everybody who's ever done that know that you always miss those people in a way that you can't even articulate but before we could get to some semblance of normalcy my mother got sick and died in a new place in a new environment with adolescent children and life moving and changes in the public eye you cannot wait for life to stabilize to grow it is please please stay with me because I'm gonna need you in a minute I need to come down here for a minute please understand it is never going to stabilize everything's never going to be right everything's never going to be whatever you're going to do and be and grow into you've got to be able to do it in an unstable environment what did they do on you trying to go okay yeah yeah that's his way of escaping middle state i'ma kill him later yeah but do you understand what I'm saying it's never it's never gonna be ideal the people who do the best in their lives are people who function effectively and instability how much have you had to change over the years as our world change and as we walk through I don't mean progress but through the storms how as a woman how did you make it through the storms you know babe it's um it's kind of hard to articulate because the storms kept right on coming and so at one point I felt like someone was walking I was walking around and there was a water balloon over my head and I didn't know who had the pen and I I had gotten so used to from mother passing to surgery after surgery after surgery and everything was shaking but I held on to my faith I held on to my faith and I'm and I'm not being super spiritual because sometimes it wasn't easy right to hold on sometimes I thought it would be easier to just you know just count it all joy and be done with it you know but so I had to hold on to my faith and then I had to learn how to have private problems in public places I remember you I remember my wife telling me how hard it was to grieve on stage with cameras in your face and people flashing her mother's picture on the screen and putting cameras in her face and the pain was wrong so we we had to live normal problems in public places in the spotlight and manage that and still trying to hold on to our kids and our sanity and not lose our mind or our kids in the middle of while other people are talking about look at how good they're doing look at how successful their door and while you're fighting off haters who are hating you for life you can hardly manage [Applause] i'ma be the next evj know you can be TD jakes now if this is not as cool as you think it is because in order to win instability has to become your normal instability has to become your normal you you've got to be able to ride the wave and balance yourself balance that's a big word balance that's a huge word is balance what does that mean to you to me it means when you're riding a bicycle the main thing you have to do is hold your balance mm-hmm no matter what the terrain is like no matter what the weather is like if you maintain your balance you can keep the bike moving but as soon as soon as you lose your balance the bikes going to go one way and you're gonna go the other way and you're gonna get scarred and marred and beat up mm-hmm but if you can hold your balance I had a preach right there if you can hold your balance how many people are going through some rough terrain right now do you understand that God is telling you to hold your balance you can't control the terrain but you can control your balance and if you control your balance you're gonna ride through this and you're gonna ride through and you're gonna ride through the other and if you just keep on riding you can ride it all the way through to the end for somebody that ought to be a moment of praise and thanksgiving the dog yes steady yourself steady yourself steady yourself steady yourself to me balance means get out of the fire when you can if if you're going through a season of distress and you get a chance to laugh please take that exit go right off the exit ramp if you get a chance to be happy thirty minutes if you get a chance to have a three-day furlough out of prison if you get a 24-hour pass for just a little while I know it's gonna be there when you get back I know you're gonna have to put on the whole armor and jump back in the fight again but he giveth his beloved quest and if God gives you a chance to rest from what you're going through I don't know I feel like I'm talking to somebody I don't even know who it is since it is not going to change it's not going to change if the storms don't see the wind keeps blowing my soul has got to be ain't yes glory my soul the soul has entered my soul was ain't ly my job might not be anchored my friends might not be entered but my soul is ain't my circumstances are tainted my house isn't acres but my soul yes here in a God in this place right now somebody given 30 seconds of praise in this place [Applause] [Applause] yep yep yep how bout some eyes I'm gonna make it through this naked I'm gonna make it through this I gotta balance myself I gotta balance myself but I'm gonna make it through this I gotta maintain my momentum but I'm gonna make it through this oh my god I feel like [Applause] when you balance yourself yes sir in your life you can't you can't just have people in your life is bringing you bad news you can't just have your intellectual friends who are real smart and they're always trying to climb up something and do something fight something you still need a few crazy [Applause] silly ain't going nowhere never gonna change make you laugh no no your nickname friends because you gotta balance balance yourself and and what now what balances me may not be what balances her that's right it's all good you you have to find out what works for you and even though I consider myself to be an aggressive tenacious relentless person when it comes to love love can make you weak and passive and in a desire to please the other person if you're not careful you will start stepping into what balance is then you have to say what I'm saying just so y'all can be together and lose yourself and start drowning because because you've got to be individual enough to figure out that what works for you might not be what works for her and I'll meet you on the other side and she's got to know I'll be back in an hour I tell her I used to tell my mother this when I was a kid I was a kid you couldn't keep in the house I'd tell my mother I'll be back in an hour and I teased and I said I'll be back in an hour I don't care where I go I'll be back in an hour I'll always be back til I can't be back I'm grateful I'm grateful because you lead in order to let a person go you need to know they'll be back am i helping anybody you you you this is your children and everybody you can't let your children go if you don't think they'll be back you have to know that them becoming an adult it's not a rejection of you moving out isn't them leaving you it's them finding them yes and you've got to find a way to let me find me without losing you yes sir well you become a slave master and now I got a runaway Wow see my god I think I'm gonna give this CD myself because the agreement is over the things that matter most what matters most to you as a person what matters most to you now if I ask my wife what matters most and she asked me what matters most there might be some deviation in the two but they're related to each other for sure cuz right at the top of her list at the very pppppp to talk top of the list right up under God is her children and her husband or her husband and her children yet that's that's gonna be that's gonna be right there now my answer is going to be that but my form of that answer is going to be protecting and providing and guarding them because that is my way of loving them but if she judges me in that she'll say you put your job ahead of your family no instead of understanding I'm working the job to take care of but that's that's how I'm loving you by not being wait on you but not being something else you got to do by covering you and so I care just as much about the kids and her as she does but how I express it that's right might be different and these are incidentally are not gender specific in some families it's the woman who is providing and protecting and guarding and in some families it's a man who is caring and nurturing it dish depends on who you are but somebody's got to do both of them somebody because I don't care how much you love people if them lights go out and that refrigerator gets empty come on and that grass grows up so how you can't see out the living room window at love is gonna dissipate come on somebody come on some in most families it takes both of you to make ends meet so you got you gotta have an agreement are we helping anybody in here now now I'm gonna say this and I'm gonna close I'm gonna say none of the three of us let me go back up here with you I didn't want you to have to chip it's part of agreement yes yeah yeah there there is nothing alike about either of one of the three of us but then again we're just alike okay he is the youth ahead he is the energy and the mobility and the youth I had I watch him nearly get stuff and go get stuff and go down here and get stuff and I think I can still do it but I gotta think about it is risk versus reward whatever fail isn't important enough for me to hurt my knee bad enough to go down that low together I can still get down there but you got to be important to me okay he's a young man I'm an older man she is a woman we are all different but we can still have agreement I don't have to take away his youth go be a young man while you can have a good time because that will pass in a minute baby so quick I'm all right go be a woman do your girly thing do your fun thing turn your music on light your candles do whatever it is you like to do take a milk bath however you rejuvenate yourself do that let me do me and at the end of the day we still can have agreement yes how many of you I'm almost finished how many of you know have some inkling as to why God has you in this room right now how many of you understand that God is speaking to you about something in your life and how to better manage it for 2020 if he's talking to you clap your hands right now this is what we're going to do I want you to stand on your feet I want you to be so pregnant with a mission so so so full of mission that you won't allow any weapon formed against you the process that you will climb over grief pain regret mistakes because you are submitted to the mission and you're ready to come into agreement the the one thing I want you to recognize it's most important you can't be an agreement with people if you're in disagreement within yourself what does that mean Bishop sometimes our values and our actions are in disagreement within ourselves we say we want this but our actions say okay I cannot seek agreement with someone else if I don't respect my own dreams enough to be an agreement with myself alignment alignment when the text says behold how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity the the metaphor it is like the oil that fell upon the head of Aaron on to his beard and on to his skirts and in order for that to happen there has to be you come stand right here and you get behind your mama there has to be divine align now we're not perfect people we're just as flawed as you are just as crazy as you are probably crazier got all kind of issues all kind of probably all kind of struggles we are we are ordinary people you must understand that because what my son said is important if you idolize us you limit our ability to impart to you we are kin to you we are kidding to you we're made out of the same dirt you made out of my brush fix every morning real bad I got to brush teeth mouthwash everything babe put on good deodorant all the time you I'm a guy still doesn't mean I can't have alignment still doesn't mean I can't have agreement still doesn't mean I can't be connected on the things that matter it is like the whole oil that fell upon the head of Aaron watch this onto his beard onto his skirts all Dexter has to do to get the oil [Applause] it's staying live don't be impatient I know you're young but don't be impatient it's coming the oil is coming hey do you hear me the oil is coming the oil is coming doll is coming don't let the devil move you out to play Saul is coming having done all the stand stand with the Lord's good about what truth to all is coming and when I move you move and when I stand you stand if you don't see me break don't you break son go before shot top excuse me Oh bless is her name hallelujah glory to God cover the car glory to God it is the power of agreement [Applause] how did him say anything that time cuz once you establish the pattern the behavior will line up oh yeah you don't get how powerful that is once you establish the pattern the behavior will line up food shop I'm so excited because of what I sense God is about to do in your life there's something that God wanted you to get out of this today that's preparing you for what is about to break loose in your life can I get a witness in here [Applause] join hands with somebody spare nails leave no one touch [Music] [Applause] [Applause] the person that you're touching has a dream greater still they have a mission they were not just born they were born here to do something they were born for a mission and we haven't always been submitted ourselves to our own vision and we apologize to God right now in this moment that sometimes our actions and our behavior has betrayed his leading but I'm gonna give my balance back and I'm gonna stop waiting on the storms to start [Music] I'm gonna give myself together and those with whom I have to do I'm gonna stop fighting about every little thing bringing up every little thing bringing up stuff from 10 years ago and 12 years ago and 20 years ago are all tools of the enemy to bring division and destroy our agreement so for some of us that means we're going to have to shut up and for others of us it means have we've been laying back this letting life happen to us and we need to step up but all God gave you against this cold hard world it's who he gave you and you better learn how to get along with who he gave you you better find a way to come into agreement with who he gave you people are leaving everyday and the enemy doesn't want you to have agreement with who you got left the Bible says you can tear down your own house with your tongue and we offer them talk about mouthy women but it's a mouthy men in this world - with our hateful last year mouth there's tearing down everybody who loves you and you make it hard for people to love you cuz you're nice to the people that you work with but you're a hell before the people that love you how could you be that kind on your job and that nasty of your it's time to come into alignment yes sir I'm talking to you it's time to come into alignment it's time to come into agreement it's time to start fussing about what everybody's not going and what you're not giddy and challenge yourself what are you not doing what are you not giving how could you help how could you make a difference the person that you're touching is on the cusp of a blessing though the precipice of a miracle they're on the edge of it awakening glowy the gun there's a reason that they're in this room right now something is supposed to happen in their life this year that they're gonna have to have a better agreement in order to get there they're gonna have to come into alignment for the power of God to be loosed in their life father let your anointing fall through every connection in this room every connection is symbolic of other connections we need to make it our lives to come into agreement in our lives hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah I pray God in the name of Jesus of whatever the enemy is reducing as a tool to break the agreement we curse it and command it to dry up and die right now in the name of Jesus Oh God because we want to be a habitation for your authority we want your spirit to dwell in the midst of us we want your glory to be right there in the midst of our agreement yes I thank you for the glory yes I thank you for the power yeah as I thank you for the kingdom yes I thank you for what you're doing have your way 2020 belongs to you have your way when it's when it belongs to you in my furnaces have you why is my party had the wire in my business why is my family had you in the day the baby the baby with the name of the name in the name of the day in the vein in the day in the name of the name of the rain in the name of Jesus in the name in the name of the name in the name of Jesus in the name of Jesus now break loose and go for yourself and give him all you got [Applause] that's all you got that's how you got [Applause] for your whole year for your whole year for what God is about to do it all right [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] whether you're watching online or whether you're in this building the Bible says with your lips you draw nigh unto me but with your heart you're far from me I don't want my lips to say hallelujah and my heart and my behavior to say something else I'm getting an alignment in every area of my life I want God in my decisions please I want God in my choices I want God to lunch me what doors not to go into I want God to direct my path and order my steps and lead me and guide me I'm dumb sometimes you may have to make it real plain but whatever it takes for me to get in I can't afford to do dumb stuff this year [Applause] anybody with me but the Bible said acknowledge him in all their ways and he will direct your path

Channel: T.D. Jakes

Views: 713,334

Rating: 4.8785048 out of 5

Keywords: td jakes, faith, potters house, bishop jakes, The Potter's House of Dallas, TPH Dallas, td jakes sermons, bishop td jakes, inspiration, td jakes motivation, motivation, sermons, td jakes ministries, motivational speaker, motivational speech, gospel, motivational, td jakes sunday, td jakes 2020, td jakes sermons 2020, td jakes 2020 motivation, model homes 2, model homes II, serita jakes, model homes

Id: X3Ru_h9m9zM

Length: 103min 39sec (6219 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 26 2020