Messed Up Things That Happened At A Funeral (r/AskReddit)

what's the most messed up thing you've seen at a funeral my grandfather was an identical twin when Gramps and our family walked into his brother's funeral it became very clear very quickly that not all of the Friends of the deceased knew this the joke my uncle made at my dad's funeral he walks in to make a speech and the first thing that he said was well I've waited 52 years to say this but I'm now the number one son it was horrible yet one of the funniest things I've heard about two weeks ago my grandpa's funeral happened to take place on my birthday I wasn't too but her about the date arrangement that is until my aunt announced in the middle of the funeral that we should all sing happy birthday to me so to list it all out dead grand power in the room everybody standing around teary-eyed funeral quar song just finished and now everybody is being led by my crazy aunt in the most confused and out of place rendition of happy birthday ever sung not my attendance but my roommate's his aunt had a stillborn baby so he and his wife attended the funeral the parents planned to release a bunch of butterflies from a box as a spiritual symbol of sorts but forgot to poke holes in the box prior there was absolute shocked silence as the parents dumped a box of dead butterflies on the floor and my roommates had to leave the church to cry from laughing so hard my childhood best friend died earlier this year we lost touch in our teens and he apparently changed a lot in the intervening 15 to 20 years he got into a lot of drugs and eventually wound up choking to death on his own vomit as his druggie friends watched the funeral home did a slid a shower of photos of him every single photo showed him getting high being stoned drunk or wearing gigolo mokuba when his mom gave his eulogy she proclaimed herself for gigolos in his honor my completely estranged father showed up 20 years after swearing he'd never see any of his family ever again at my grandfather's funeral he then asked me to step into the hole with him during my grandfather's benediction prayer turned out he had asked the funeral director to remove me from the property the family had no idea this had happened until 10 minutes later at which point everyone left my grandfather's funeral in disgust while they did their best to console me my father took advantage of the lack of people around my grandmother and he tried to talk her into moving into a home and to sign the family properties into his name she broke her hand hitting him this wasn't the least bit [ __ ] up to me but I can see how some might think so my parents retirement jobs were /r at a local funeral home my mom loved to gamble I'm pretty sure she still had dad running 4 scratch offs and lotto tickets till the day she died a big joke at the funeral home was how my mum would play [ __ ] at lunchtime to get to a place across a major busy road that had scratch offs when she died the funeral directors pitched in and bought 100 scratch offs to hand out to guests instead of a moment of silence we had a moment of scratching it was awesome my so stepbrother had her infant that died and at the funeral they passed the baby around like it was still alive most people held it and basically the whole duration of the funeral it was out of its coffin I personally think that's pretty weird but maybe that's just me my friend hanged himself and there is no way that Orthodox priests would hold requiem for person who killed himself because it's against Church beliefs or something we are at the funeral dead silence and priest is nearby comes to brother of the deceased friend and says there will be no requiem for suicide deaths but if you can pay up maybe we can work something out sure priest come right behind this small chapel to give it to you and he and his two brothers beat the [ __ ] out of the priests face swollen the man was moaning everything priest comes back and holds Requiem for free for sinner not technically at the funeral but it affected it my arm stole the money intended for my grandmother's headstone her own mother and ran away with it before the funeral so my grandmother had just had a wooden cross marking her grave if no one in my family has seen or heard from my aunt since well apparently taking self eyes with the corpses of thing on my grandfather's funeral a friend of my mother's came over to her hugged her and said congratulations congratulations I'm so happy for you in a very very sad voice this friend fell from his balcony a few months earlier and didn't recover completely so he always mixed up words or expressions we didn't think it was possible but we laughed so much that moment leaving this poor soul confused about our amusement my mom's dad was an [ __ ] straight-up wife beater three daughters hated him and all ran away at 14 never bothered to meet my sister and I his only grandkids on several occasions told my mother to abort me and boycotted my parents wedding I didn't care when he died as I'd never met him and only knew he wasn't a nice man but his funeral was one of the most hilarious days of my life short summary only eight people showed my family of four my aunt and uncle and the widow and her friend there weren't even enough people to carry the casket so we had to borrow men from another funeral service to help no one had told the funeral director I was in a wheelchair following surgery or that my sister was 11 and couldn't be expected to help I tripped an eighty five-year-old way I veteran being in military funeral there was a flag ceremony from the local Legion being in a wheelchair they parked me right up front but angled my leg directly into the aisle of the church dad parked me next to the open casket and locked my chair breaks on purpose leaving me inches from grandpa's corpse for about 20 minutes until he stopped laughing and freed me the eulogy the piece de resistance our priest was a lovely man but had never met the deceased no one volunteered to read any eulogists from the family no friends had attended and the priest knew we were basically only doing the bare minimum out of obligations to the widow he read a beautiful excerpt from the Bible and basically told us all he's with God now it is no longer our place to judge him judgment from God will do the rest my great aunt and uncle owned a funeral home and my mother worked there for a bit as mortician slash funeral director one weekend she couldn't find a babysitter so I wrote along with her to help with the funeral staff in route to the cemetery one of our police escorts for the funeral procession was hit by a car running a red light he died didn't see this personally but my friend returned from her grandfather's funeral pale and shaken as they were lowering the coffin into the grave one of the straps snapped one end of the coffin dropped hard into the grave broke open corpse half rolled out grandmother started screaming father started crying she said it was the grimmest thing that's ever happened to her not me but the guy with the glasses who did all the Vera's and commercials can you hear me now from a couple years ago Paul marker alley he was interviewed by time and said this in the interview marker le says he had to stop wearing thick rimmed Buddy Holly style glasses to avoid attention and at his grandmother's funeral he could hear someone whisper can you hear me now as the casket was lowered into the ground pretty bad however I can't stop laughing at it the EV angelical pastor first said that he normally didn't do services for people who commit suicide then at the end of the eulogy asked for a show of hands of people he'd converted during the service a friend of mine was shot and killed when he was 17 at the funeral a lot of his classmates showed up wearing things that said he was an angel and one girl had koreas my guardian angel painted on her rear window there were two pastors at the service the first one my old pastor gave a heartfelt service about him and since he knew almost everyone in town was able to help the family grieve afterward the other pastor from a new ice church in town went up to the podium and spent the next 15 minutes ranting about evil teenagers and complaining that high schoolers don't realize that you don't become an angel when you die I saw it written on one of your cars that is your guardian angel as I was walking in you're wrong when you die you go to heaven or hell and the way the youth in this town live I'll be surprised if I ever encounter him again in this life or the next implying he was heaven bound while the deceased boy beside him was going to hell even if you believe that don't [ __ ] say dat the funeral in front of the guys morning family and friends his church wasn't open for much longer after that I think the building was repurposed as a garage or something my mom works in the funeral business sometimes I would come to work with her and help her set up the chapel for a service one service in particular was of a little boy who drowned his parents dressed his identical twin brother in the same outfit as him grief does [ __ ] to you at my mother's memorial service my dad had several members of his church come up and speak my mum was not a member of this church in fact she was agnostic we let him do it anyway as I felt it comforted him anyway one of the guys proceeded to tell us that we were all going to burn in hell if we didn't repent just like my mom a couple I knew received word to rush to site of the husband's father as his death his amount they do but since they know a large inheritance is due they stop at the BMW dealership to order a new car flash forward a few days to the funeral just after the funeral the husband is publicly berating his mother about how he needs the money as the car is being delivered the entire time his wife is egging him on to get the money he finally tells her she must write a check to cover the costs and that it is her fault that he is in this position this will occurs within 20 minutes of her having to bury her husband of more than 50 years after the first check comes in they are very pleased with themselves as this is the first time he has ever had his own money well technically it was just outside of a funeral it was the wait for my family member who had been killed by an i-phone robber as he fled the scene it was highly publicized in the area and news cameras had been there etc as the wake was winding down I began making trips to my car in the funeral home park first I brought out my purse and a few boards of family photos then some plants and flowers during one of my trips to the car I had forgotten to lock the doors back up and I found my purse had been tossed out onto the floor what was stolen my ipod touch and cache filled cards that someone literally stalked me at a funeral in order to rob me in the funeral home parking lot is the most fucked-up thing I've ever seen at a Funeral I went to a funeral of a Haitian guy I knew throughout the funeral random Haitian women would start screaming and often had to be restrained also this guy was notorious for cheating on his wife and several of the women he had sex with came up to speak while his wife and kids were right in front of them my late cousin's brother launching into a diatribe about our alcoholism during the eulogy she was beaten to death and her body dumped near an overpass by some guy she worked with who had a record of violence and had raped some other woman at gunpoint several years ago alcohol had nothing to do with it my mom and sister and I walked out at bat there were also local news cameras at the funeral and it just felt so wrong on his detail for a deceased service member as a member of the firing party for the 21 gun salute in a bad area on the first volley the younger family members actually leap over the chairs and start running and hollering this of course distraught the other family members even worse I will never forget that scene I mean what the [ __ ] did you think we were going to do with the rifles the most [ __ ] up funeral I happy was for my grandfather he died after a brief battle with cancer anyways I tracked to his home state with my parents brother and husband to the funeral we did the vigil the night before the actual funeral all is OK emotions were heavy partially due to me being 7 months pregnant the next day was the funeral and we are dressed in our best we get to the funeral home and we are escorted to the family area from there we saw other family members showed up in hunting gear heute off t-shirts and over all okay whatever then their friend who is slash was priest starts the funeral and for over an hour he rants about the government system and the evils of mankind this was during the election race of 2012 and kept making allusions to the end of times in the presidential race he kept going on that the Antichrist is in the Oval Office etc he not once mentioned anything about my grandfather's life after it was over we went to the car and sat in silence before my brother asks what the [ __ ] just happened my time to shine so when my alcoholic druggie grandmother passed the funeral was uncomfortable at best notable the currency's included my grandfather telling the priest that they were still married spoiler they hadn't been together since the 60s and my uncles singing ding-ding the witch's dead over and over but the worst moment by far had to have been when the priest asked us to say nice things about my grandmother my 11 year old raises her hand and says grandma was naughty she used to shoot caps in the backyard and people laughed at Bert I went to a funeral when I was six and saw a woman barf and the open casket I don't remember anything else but I got in trouble for laughing the [ __ ] did I know my grandmother's aren't died open casket for some mysterious [ __ ] reason grandma got up in the middle of the service to fix on his wig which she then somehow pulled off so she picked it up and fluffed it kind like a pillow and rearranged it on on to his corpse it was horrible [Music]

Channel: ToadFilms

Views: 537,394

Rating: 4.9212589 out of 5

Keywords: messed up, messed, up, messed up things, things, funeral, messed up funeral, funeral incidents, crazy funeral, reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, Updoot Reddit, TZ Reddit

Id: P3QjXKmCNQs

Length: 14min 44sec (884 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 03 2019