MERRY CHRISTMAS | Funniest Episode (GTE 35)

ladies and gentlemen from the gotham headquarters to your homes around the world or maybe even the galaxy if aliens are watching this i would like to wish you all a merry christmas and if you're not celebrating that happy holidays and if you're not celebrating the holidays you're just a grumpy crappy person now my holiday present to all of you is a beautifully wrapped absolutely mint condition episode of your favorite series guess the elo this episode delivers on all fronts we honestly could not have asked for a better holiday present this episode is a train wreck you're going to laugh like you've never lived before i guarantee it i got nothing else to say no sponsors nothing let's just get into the games we've got gotham sub beginning us with the move e4 i like where this is going c5 knight f3 knight c6 d4 okay we got magnus carlsen with the black pieces versus bozo mcfrozo with the with the white pieces magnus goes for okay never mind that's not magnus likes knight f6 e5 he likes the sversnykov d6 is the stoner sicilian i just named it this because that's not a real opening um black never really plays that move right now but it quickly becomes a dragon these nuts across your face sicilian so uh uh this is uh this is the dragon and so the plants here are for white to play queen d2 long castle uh and checkmate and black will play like this and sometimes checkmate white but most of the time loose uh you can play something known as the yugoslav attack look that up that might give you some like random civil war stuff but like about chess okay very good now oh not very good uh you're supposed to play f3 this move prevents knight g4 yeah so uh yeah and and and also f3 pro like starts up your attack uh castles castles and um oh yeah sorry youtube i'm gonna hide music now you can't know we have music here come over here though we got music uh yeah black uh doesn't know their opening knight g4 is like borderline winning um so this is like crushing uh this is really really bad because you're gonna get this bishop um yeah so here boom boom bishop h6 yeah this is fine except you haven't actually started the attack and if anybody's attacking someone it's actually black attacking white but okay it should be seven that's all right h4 uh white probably takes right no f3 now okay okay we don't hate it we don't hate it okay what the f what is that what what even is the point of rookie eight does black understand anything about chess like you're supposed to go here you're supposed to like boop boop like what what is this why h okay is it to go bishop h8 are we sure about that i think black just sucks i don't like what is this why would you put your bishop behind the pawn like why wouldn't you put it i don't know i i it's not my job to play the good moves my my job is to analyze the games and make fun of them that's and then for you know random people to look at the game and be like he's so mean great perfect h5 golden rule h4h5 what is with black and playing every piece one square like rookie eight convinces seven bishop b7 black is better off being like a duster you know just dusting like like uh whatever pans and everything i mean what is the next move is going to be it could be eight or like h6 oh yeah there's another one one square beautiful i look how black is just putting the queen off center like the whole point of the sicilian is to attack h5 come on good so basically at some point in this game a person woke up and the other one still sucks yes yes oh my god yes yes yes right there right there yes the queen h6 yes now take or take take don't go g5 knight e4 queen h7 ah but now you allow this no but now you're gonna have to work 10 times as hard well probably not against this opponent but this is actually not terrible but now you have bishop c4 simply yo what is this like white played like complete poopy and then for or like didn't play i didn't allow knight g4 and now and and what is this and now every everything white is playing a stockfish choice okay another stockfish move yo how in the middle of all this homie pulls up here with rook 88 and then if queen takes then there's this like that is insane bishop d3 okay queen g4 was bishop d3 the top engine move no okay so you're not cheating good queen g4 what so you could like why what for what why'd you play this move so you could move your bishop boss all right okay all right all right you playing good you're playing very well you're playing very well stockfish is agreeing with everything you're saying i'm not i'm not i'm i'm not the cute i'm just i'm saying stockfish gives you the blessing everything you're playing you white hasn't played any cheater moves like everything white's done is very natural i'm just knight h5 like for example if you had played knight f2 here cheater 100 like you you see like if you played they're cheating like no one plays knight f2 that's a stupid move you're gonna play like rook g1 or kf1 so see i'm not queen g2 how are you actually going to win this what oh my god yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh my god oh and of course black just pulls up with the like imagine having a knight a queen a bishop and two rooks and just like playing this like with instead of resigning you just play the most random c5 of all time and you just lose immediately i mean i i yeah i wow i'm getting like 12 1300 vibes from this game that i i have like an immediate i think white like has potential in chess and black has potential as a janitor i mean janitors are very important but like the janitor of their own room so unemployed um anyway uh yeah so let's uh let's pull up the game uh let's go wow 1600 so i want to just apologize to my sub because sub you actually played well i didn't say 1300 because of you i said it because of your opponent your opponent doesn't even deserve the house where they are the janitor all right uh listen jim bean you're probably a nice guy but this is one of the worst games you've probably ever played and the fact that you even get a 63 percent for this you should get a 26.9 for this i mean that was here's what i mean by the way can i just quickly point this out on a serious note i'm going to take this back to the full screen this game is exactly why nobody should play the sicilian defense and i'm sorry but how are you going to play one of the most violent tactically rich fascinating and complicated and constantly getting analyzed openings and just play like a complete ditz like bishop b7 i mean you you the moves you are playing are an insult to the opening anyway let's go to the second game like like white played a beautiful game do i played a good game attacked one that was that was great i like it i mean why not just play carl khan at that point anyway e4 d6 you know i just i know i mean i'm serious like stop playing openings you okay um stop playing openings you don't understand at all uh wow this isn't what okay the the guy who submitted this game donated 50 and said please analyze my game and and i did it not because i can be bought but actually i was scrolling in the discord channel and i conveniently saw it uh but uh yeah so listen because you donated 50 to the channel um you would think i'm gonna be extra nice to you i'm not boss i don't know what you think you're doing here like reinventing chess boss you're supposed to put the knights out first for a reason because when you put the bishops out too quickly they can just be chopped like you don't know where the bishops go you know the knights go here you better have developed the knights next no i mean what are you what are what are you christopher columbus taking credit for for for discovering uh the continent oh look at me like nah bro you had no clue what you're doing what is this he's gonna push a fifth pawn all right knight f3 you know the best part is because black put up no resistance white has the absolute golden sandbox of openings right here black did absolutely nothing like to combat this black was like oh wow oh wow like why could see see what i mean you knew your knights were gonna go there you knew but okay fine e6 yes of course black is like plus two on move ten what is what are we what are we doing anyway so when you have a big space advantage uh what you need to do is you need to like go through right you need to push through and at some point so yes i love it i love it this is not the four pawns attack uh this is one guy who got to push four pawns and another guy who is actively just tying his shoes together like imagine someone is punching you in the face and rather than fighting back you're like making it even harder for yourself to get up and fight back that's basically what's happening here um probably the best move here is like c5 look at that look at that top engine one of the top engine moves like b4 c5 to just completely clamp down and put your knight here and that's never gonna happen um now black actually can maybe get counter play okay knight a6 i don't hate it uh-huh but c5 now and and look at this this is the problem when you overextend a pawn break and your whole position falls apart crazy of course black doesn't play it it's much better to attack a bishop bishop f6 okay okay yes absolutely okay so let's say you have the option to fly out into the sky or trap your bishop forever no of course of course put the bishop in prison and never move it out again no i mean come on it's this person has an enlightened understanding of chess i mean like uh i mean imagine you can go here and control the whole diagonal and instead you just you do this i mean this is one of the stupidest moves i've ever seen i mean just simply like the choice is not hard what is the choice well one day i'll get out no no you won't no you won't ge oh see white's like okay i'm a clam i'm a clamp in and the craziest part is this is fine because here black white blundered rook takes d4 and it's a draw that's incredible that's incredible queen d4 queen g3 who donated 50. i'm not making fun of the person who's playing black the person who donated is playing with white if the person who was playing with black play bishop h8 i would refund them the money and then i would call the cops it's a draw now you blunder a draw so the bishop on h8 actually doesn't does survive okay e5 not d5 please yes very good what is that why okay check but now queen blocks that's the problem uh-huh check okay yes and now you're just hanging mate i mean it's simply mate yeah or you have to sag the rook incredible this is what happens when your king surround him surrounds himself with snakes you see the king doesn't actually have good backup they're fake they're fake friends right they uh they're gonna they're gonna watch the king die and so the other people have to make the sacrifice it's crazy and now now a very easy way to win rooks pawn that's it that's how the game should end okay i don't know why you lost the pawn but that's not my business okay ah but now the bishop gets out okay so you're a rook up great yes check trade queen beautiful you don't need to do any of this good yes yes yes fantastic okay that was actually not a bad game that was that was good um okay so you have a very unique way of playing opening so at what level are you arrogant enough to like play your own way and not actually play openings but then like still do some good stuff in the game [Music] a thousand to eleven hundred this game yeah that's yeah it may be yeah if you're below a thousand and playing like that that's actually incredibly impressive a thousand to eleven hundred yo black is 1400 yo today is the day when my poor subs are getting 300 points deducted from their rating and it's because of the pr it's because of their opponent yo my like my sub played a normal game but i mean how is black 1400 like there are people in this world who are legitimately in deep mental health crisis because they think they will never get to 1400 and here you have this person alejandro miranda flores i mean might be the nicest person in the world honestly but oh my god i mean the guy had the option between playing bishop h8 and bishop h6 and homie played bishop h8 as a 1400 yo labeeb i just want to apologize to you all right la bibi khabib you played a good game i made fun of you but you played well how the hell was that dude 1400 bro i you know if we're on youtube i hope there's like an ad break right now just like we i mean oh my god what was the time control it doesn't matter what the time control was crazy ridiculous i mean i'm i'm so sad that was good say khabib one more time habibi you got it you gotta get it all right game three i mean yo you guys are finding some some some you know like in boxing when they pad their record in the beginning that's what you guys are finding right now you guys are finding those people who fight once and you never hear from again thank you thank you thank you i'm going to skip that uh we got a tts he said levi your collab with tears but my name's not tearzoo but my deepest apologies for calling you levi oh oh oh you called me levi a year ago it's all good yo what the f why are you playing a keronavian if you're gonna play a scandy why are you playing c6 what why are you playing as a scare scandiaro a skandaro i would what what does queenie do oh my god yo you know what the craziest thing is this is horrible for white like bishop f3 and black is big vibing because the pawns are damaged i mean you'll beat anybody in this position oh my god e6 yeah now black plays normal i mean dude just keep developing pieces stop moving your queen okay fine ah and now you can even play bishop before okay so you know you play a darrow obviously your opponent should go knight c3 and b plus two on move four um but instead of that they play queen e2 which is like almost as stupid as bishop h8 from last game um and no you paid this person right like you you must have paid them what is bishop takes b8 what is bishop b8 i mean what what is this move i mean this is why you guys you guys should turn off this setting called uh show legal moves because what happens is you do this and you go oh i can't take course bip like just turn it off turn off that setting you don't need to know the legal moves because then you're gonna get yourself in trouble all right thank you for the five gifted subs you should give it to white's chess fund oh my god i mean just queen a2 it's unbelievable queen a2 jesus okay okay queen b2 what did you submit a game where you just killed someone oh you hung a rook by accident you hung two rooks by accident and yet you still have mate okay you have made in one which you'll never find you will never find that move it's an incredible move you will never find it because it's pinned yeah okay queen d2 okay okay you win this game right you must win this game okay okay i'm starting to not be so convinced but okay you just remembered you had pawns okay very good i mean i admittedly you you played uh sus but you won you won um okay oh god um queen d5 jesus christ uh queenie too i mean like between seven and eight hundred seven and eight hundred probably i mean white was so i mean come on yo white is thirteen hundred white is 1300 merry effing christmas i mean who are these who are these people who are these people there was a brilliant move oh yeah i mean i mean the engine is just a piece of crap like look at this it's -14 you can literally take a dump the move where black accidentally hung two rooks no was this planned did you plan hanging two rooks is that what you did is that why it's brilliant if you actually blundered two rooks on purpose that's pretty that's pretty badass if you got lucky it's fine guys i is playing right now listen ishmael you might be the nicest guy ever but what is going on today guys what is happening today what is happening today this is i've never been more wrong in my life i literally guessed a rating that was like 600 points off it has nothing to do with me i just wow i mean it's just insane okay please let's get this game right okay vienna it's not even a bad move c6 okay no but why but why queen e7 no but i mean why queen e7 why like what what is what is this no but come on i mean what is this i mean it's like plus two already i mean castles knight g3 knight f5 cracked the center with d4 no but how are you going to go from this to g3 i mean why would you what why would you invite this how are you just losing you are losing if you play like this you cannot prevent this from happening you are losing now king h1 you hang mate of course black what is a5 are you people finding people like is this what's going on here how did i manage to select out of like 70 submissions four of the stupidest games ever in the history of guess the elo of course of course yes yes in the middle of a colossal struggle between all the army these two go meet in the woods to to diddle around with one another okay a5a4 the pawns were trying to get some freaky action going on bishop back to e6 okay f4 aha that was the game plan okay okay yes f6 man you know i'm scared because i i i know that white is better here but i i don't think white is capable of winning this uh-huh yeah like king ji2 i mean god gave you you know seven pawns two knights a bishop queen two rooks but king ji2 like what is the king gonna go fight on the light squares i mean why king g2 for what like what are you trying to accomplish you're trying to play rook h1 queen g1 i mean i just i i don't know guys like uh you know you have to finish development bishop e3 okay you want to play a pawn move play g4 to go like this okay my kids say you're funny welcome to the stream um no what you have is called uh it's called a condition there there are no kids you're imagining them sorry i'm in a roasty mood tonight on a serious note please tell your kids their favorite streamer says hello and if you legitimately don't have kids then you made that up then go get that checked out knight to f6 okay so white was winning for like half a move it's a little bit more violent here on twitch by the way your wife wants to cheat on me with you no no no no now you are imagining that you you no no there's definitely no wife [Laughter] come on oh stop stop stop no you're that you're imagining that you're imagining rook takes f6 of course when in doubt just sack the rook for the night for no reason just sack the rook for the night for zero reason no reason just sack it whatever what's the worst i can have rook f1 yeah there's that's it there's no attack now white can win this if white gets the knight to f5 if white can play 92 knight g3 knight f5 white will probably win i see no other way maybe sack oh that's what's gonna happen some crazy thing and the queen is gonna get kicked out in queen f7 right uh-huh oh yeah like i said yeah i mean white is a genius c5 is a great move to try to get in the bishop knight d7 only move never going to be played and now it takes takes and does white find only stockfish move bishop takes g bishop takes g5 what is that c bishop c5 is the idea incredible bishop c5 knight c6 oh my goodness rook f7 oh the whole point of moving the king away from f7 is to get in but you just see a check you're like oh check yay yay okay knight to b5 but you know what's incredible about this position like do you think black will ever play knight d8 no obviously not obviously not like i mean white is playing a bunch of normal moves and black stop engine defenses are ridiculous to find and black doesn't find yo how you gonna play a bunch of moves and then just not even you just develop the knight and just hang the bishop in one move it's not even the best move e4 is better okay yeah now now by a miracle queen f7 is vibe queen f7 okay counter attack knight to e5 just very confidently hanging the knight okay aha so now you're down nine points of material so folks this is guess the elo right so black can go king b8 and be minus 11 or king d8 and maiden 6. obviously it's going to be king d8 right okay i mean why yeah rook f7 and andy and now now finally the prophecy is fulfilled and you know this game is kind of what happens when you play a game without moving both rooks you deserve to lose hey the craziest part is black resigned like black didn't even play knight b8 to try to stop mate i mean black just resigned i mean it's losing but you never know black just resigned wow i mean what a game what a game six to seven hundred six to seven hundred i mean gotta be right like maybe seven to eight but i'm gonna say six to seven hundred oh my god here we go i'm i'm good you all have a great night um that was a 1540 versus a 1559 listen it's been great uh listen um y'all y'all y'all trash as hell bro y'all mad trash y'all the you guys suck you suck all right i've the the stupid no no i can't even find the words i can't even find the words to describe my emotions right now y'all trash as hell y'all trash trash okay okay and youtube you should be disgusted on my behalf do you see how mad chad is there is not a single person who looks at this and says it's okay no not a single one no y'all both need to go to jail like put him in jail right thank you to anonymous for 10 gifted subs but right to yell right away no no no no you no you you you playing like this no right to jail no and oh you know what you know what i don't even believe that this was a real game amd francisco is probably your friend they're not md francisco is not your friend you just you just legit played that game okay well listen um i mean i'm pissed uh yeah i i i mean okay and you know the craziest part is we got one more game the craziest part is we're not even done we are not even done we got one more game we got one more game we're not even done that's the craziest part all right scandy oh this is gonna be good queen f3 on move two y'all queen f3 we this is the best guess the ela episode ever officially this is the best legit yeah i'm we're witnessing history this is great this entire episode has been the biggest disaster i've ever recorded easily and there's been like 40 episodes or something this is unbelievable we can't miss knight f's oh my god d3 and now black should just go for a karo khan okay take take e5 good knight e2 good anytime they bring a queen out early just slap them all right queen but the danger here is overextending like don't play knight takes e4 um it's it's it's not easy here because this is hanging like you can play b6 b6 is a very human move it's not the top engine move it's a very human move i mean why did they go queen b3 like what all right okay okay all right queen back knight a6 knight g3 uh do you think black is gonna hang a queen with bishop b5 that's so lucky and yet i still think bishop b5 is fine wait sorry why is b5 not very good long castle and mate oh [Music] oh oh this oh that's gross nah nah nobody can see that straight off the bat that's crazy that would even take it like a i would take a gm a move or two to be like what long that's disgusting oh my god i mean no one would have seen that oh it's made it's literally made oh it's made it's right it's made it's still made it's still made okay bishop a6 just take it [Laughter] how are you gonna pick the knight up but not take the bishop you could have picked the night up with that i'm i'm dying how are you gonna block me oh my god oh my god oh my god this is insanity this is insanity ho ho okay so white is winning by going here removing the guard of the of the i mean it's never gonna happen yo there are so many dangers getting leveled here so the bishop is hanging the queen is hanging but the bishop can take this instead the rook takes instead homie pulls up with the rook to get the yo rather than just calmly getting the the extra piece he sacks the rook for the two pieces okay okay just take the rook nope no problem nice and now now white is just lost i mean just yeah it's just over you can just take on c2 you just need to not blend or anything over here look i saw queen a4 i just didn't like it man played rook d7 that is such a trash move it's so trash why would you literally pin yourself to ways queen negate wins the queen because of geometry also rook d2 and queen d7 bishop b7 and yo guys if you pin yourselves you you gotta you gotta stop you gotta stop you gotta you need to stop stop stop stop doing this stop you need you need help stop pinning your own pieces just play king b8 rook d2 and oh my god it's over now king d8 okay so at the very least take and at the end bishop versus everybody okay queen g8 trash but not so bad okay queen c4 was hung 100 but queen d7 now yeah super lucky knight takes queen oh incredible incredible i don't think we're out of the woods yet i feel like there's more memes no it looks that's it there's no way you can screw this up i can't yo i can't i i this is this is the best thing i've ever seen oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my lord oh my god i mean yo all right so to avoid blunders like this to avoid hanging a full queen in a position where you have maiden two um what you need to do is slap the out of yourself like just that's number one step two make sure you're playing checks and step three make sure if you're not playing checks you're at least looking at how they can check you so if you're going to play queen f2 don't just be like queen to f2 and delectable and then i will be delivering a mate they have one move that attacks you the fact that you don't look at that is just travesty i hate you oh my god i hate you and i still think it's not over yeah i think black is still gonna win with the e-pawn yep of course i mean well yeah like why wouldn't you just move the rook aimlessly and allow black full activity and then just to promote the e-pawn right oh my god oh my god it's gonna be rook h7 knight g5 okay some miracle uh-huh uh-oh e2 okay yeah it's a draw but of course it won't be oh you let the king get behind the pawn you let the king get behind the pawn big boss what is happening what is this oh by the way knight f5 not possible because pin but it's going to be possible there's no way it doesn't get blundered i'm so scared oh my god it's going to happen it's got to happen at some point it's got to happen it's just a draw no it's actually a draw they repeated moves i have no idea what their rating is i i just legit don't know i mean i i really just don't know guys i mean i i want yeah i'm gonna say like 700 like it's it i six like seven i mean that yeah that that's oh thank god oh thank god for the first time in my life 792 versus 829 thank god i was ready for this game to be like 22100s man that was gonna be one of the dumbest things i've ever witnessed in my life oh my lord

Channel: GothamChess

Views: 619,469

Keywords: gothamchess, gothamchess london, gothamchess caro kann, gothamchess openings, gothamchess vienna, guess the elo, gothamchess guess the elo, guess the elo gothamchess

Id: 4u9KktKMLUg

Length: 36min 18sec (2178 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 25 2021