Men and Women Seek to Understand Each Other | Middle Ground

I don't think that a lot of men realize how scary just they are hi my name is de I'm from New Jersey originally and I'm a publicist here in LA hi guys I'm Brett and I work in film I'm Gabby and I work in film as well hey act hi everyone I'm kori a I'm from Los Angeles and I'm an advertising and recruiting my name is Farhad I'm born and raised in LA and I'm a writer nerd director my name is Joe 25 years old and a marketing coordinator here in LA not to say that this is like a sound fact or that you know there aren't exceptions but I think you know men are there they're built differently there's they're stronger usually I can say yeah physically is a one inherent difference obviously it changes based on like their race in general like the like where they're from and stuff like that but I think that women tend to sometimes be a lot more over emotional and where men tend to kind of respond a little bit more stolidly and that might not be the most like perfect way to say it but I think of it do you think that's a natural way that we are were born to be or do you think that's how we're brought up I think it's a mixture of both like this might just be how society has ingraining and they should react to certain things - yeah men are supposed to be this like sometimes uncompromising unemotional person whereas women are supposed to be volscian honest I think that people sometimes like fall into those categories even when they're not supposed to be I feel like you know even as a man like you know how I approach a problem is like oh how can I fix this thing whereas like a lot of my female friends are like like I don't need to fix it I just need to listen to this person and and like for me like that's just not my natural impulse yeah I think there's so many men who people will say oh yeah men are always strong or oh is this always that well tell that to a female UFC fighters would kick their ass oh you know I'm saying and they're also people who will say oh women are always hyper emotional then thought to a bleeding-heart guy who is just like the biggest most passionate person I mean so I just think generalization is always problematic my husband is he's one of those guys that cries in like every movie you know and like I love that and I'm like a very assertive fiery person which is like generally attributed to masculine quality which in itself is problematic that we think like strength is masculine problem-solving is masculine we're all capable and we're all also have our weaknesses definitely I've experienced a lot of disadvantages particularly in the workforce in my position I'm pretty high up I kind of sit on the right you know right hand of the president but it's just kind of interesting how I'm always left with all these like administrative tasks you know I mean and I'm level what about him and him and him and him and him but it's just I think it's natural for people to associate administrative work with a you know it's a feminine role saying I work at a hardware store and which is I get looked over all the time because I'm like hi how can I help you and there go I'm gonna ask this guy like literally just or do not even talk to me they'll just walk right past me and go ask a man to touch on more like disadvantages like just having to think I think to be more conscious of a lot of things like people say like walking to your car at night or going for a jog or just anything at night really I'm thinking about it I was like well what is a disadvantage of being a man and I thought back to when I was six seven eight and I was in the school yard and in the classroom and my friend started to police me cuz the girls weren't getting policed from what I understand the way that the boys were because the boys were being told don't be like a girl don't cry don't share your emotions don't show your feelings because I wanted to fit in I embodied those ideas when I was considering this question you know derive disadvantages based on my gender impulses just know like as as a white man who've raised in you know middle-class America like right off the bat you have so many like lack of barriers I should say you have you have a lack of barriers for opportunity well I just would like to let everyone know that I do not open my own doors [Laughter] [Applause] though seriously though if I'm walking to if I'm with a male if I'm walking to the door I won't touch the door um however if I do open the door if I'm by myself and there's people behind me I'm keeping it open whole family females males no problem at all but if I am with a male I will not open the door yeah I look real stupid too because they usually stand there like as a joke I'm like where does that expectation come from oh I'm sure it was just the way I was raised for me as a guy like my instinct is like you know how my dad taught me my brothers is just like you know treat women with the utmost respect and honor I feel like chivalry is just something that I'm like this is absolutely something on a step into and to continue and uphold I think that's like a really beautiful way to put it I also think it's not true like that's not born out of like served because she's up here it's because we don't it's it's the opposite of empowerment the same reason why a guy doesn't think that you can you know what screw that is is the same reason why they think they have to open the door or why it hurts why chivalry can hurt because the the idea that like we have to protect and we have to like do things for them it translates I it's equal to the idea that because they are unable to [Music] generally speaking I always feel pretty comfortable when I'm with the opposite gender I'm the youngest and I have three brothers and I have a lot of male figures in my life so I think that that may influence my feelings on that I grew up in a family full of women literally mom had like three sisters like all of them had pretty much girls and so I was about 13 so 100% feel like I'm comfortable with women being around me I'm a gay black man so literally the community just forgave black people or just with gay people in general you always had like your best girlfriend that's gonna be there on your side regardless of whether you just met them or whether you've known them for 25 years I don't think that a lot of men realize how scary just they are and how many men just hang out like feel like oh that girl could literally kill me like that's a true thing come from a family that's like has really strong female personalities you don't doubt that anything that they can do because they were the defenders of the family they were the ones that raised everybody they were the strongest people on the family so I don't I don't know I understand your yeah I mean I in high school like I was on the wrestling team I was one of three girls on their all-boy wrestling team and I was like yeah this is awesome like I'm one of the guys it's cool and you know one of the guys like held a knife to my throat like behind the bleachers a game and you know you you want to be able to to trust and feel like okay I don't know you so I'm gonna you know give me give you my trust for a little bit and then all of a sudden you're on top of me when do I choose you're like who do I choose and so it's like I've never had that with a woman so I don't think I've always been comfortable and I am a very private person and so I'm very intentional about the relationships that I build and about the people who I am vulnerable to I wasn't always comfortable sharing emotions I heard from childhood to you know my mid 20s or so I think it was more of just like this like I mean bottle it up I'll share with a few people but it wasn't something I would share freely and I think now where I'm at is I see true power and vulnerabilities share and not fear you know judgment or shame when I am strong in the way that I talk and just being strong people are like oh you're angry you're you know you don't make sense I'm like no I make a lot of sense right now you know just the fact that I have an emotion makes me unreliable in some way in people's eyes like we can't have a woman running the country what if she's on her period we'll go to war well I haven't seen it yet I am only uncomfortable in how I am perceived because I do want to be perceived as a competent person and somebody to be trusted I have taught myself to become emotional but from my family and from being a black person in America I don't think that I am comfortable being emotional I feel like it's like me losing control it's me being vulnerable and I don't like being vulnerable to anybody unless I choose to and I think that that's it's a sad thing because like I should be able to cry whenever I feel like it but I don't or if I do cries like I lost the family member last year and broke into tears and work as soon as I realized that I was crying I stopped and I said I have to go home I apologize I'm leaving right now and that's that's just how I had to respond to it and I don't think that's healthy but it's something that I about that's just my personal experience when it comes to being a male a black male in a mayor [Music] yeah I'm thinking it kind of goes back to just woman being the most like approachable people that I can come to and talk about anything when it comes to me or just my experiences like the things that have to go through there are a lot more understanding and I just feel safe my experience again with the opposite sexes it's been Pleasant you know my entire life I've always felt comfortable I've always felt understood I've always felt like I had a voice you know even if it's not again the voice in the conference room I always felt like I've always been respected I think like as a general swathe like take looking at it that way no men don't understand women and it's because we're looking at it as two different things like even the idea of being assertive comes off as being a [ __ ] are you speaking from a personal place or societal place because I feel like you're you speak from a very like big place instead of so it's all the same because the question was I I not like Society yeah do I feel understood by men yeah no because they don't view me as an equal can I see question in this space do you feel understood I feel understood equally by all parties great not but but you know like I you know I believe that we're all image bearers you know image bearers of God and like that were equal and we're given these different roles to fulfill and then when you see uh two people dancing and it's a beautiful choreographed equal dance no one's out showing the other person but when it comes to like relationships with men and women like I feel like these different roles can be such a beautiful thing when done right but can also be a disaster if one person is you know trying to outperform or other person is taking advantage or overstepping like you said there's such a beauty in differences and in masculinity and femininity and it's important to have both in yourself [Music] [Music]

Channel: Jubilee

Views: 2,560,246

Rating: 4.7504601 out of 5

Keywords: jubilee, jubilee media, jubilee project, live for something greater, blind devotion, love language, men and women, middle ground, gender, gender roles, gender equality, feminism, feminist, can men and women see eye to eye, women's rights, open discussion, middle ground jubilee, equal rights, men vs women, gender inequality, female, male, Men and Women Seek to Understand Each Other, find middle ground, debate, common ground, discussion

Id: tGL4G0Vkzx0

Length: 14min 18sec (858 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 26 2018