Memorable Penny Moments (Season 1) | The Big Bang Theory

oh hey Leonard good afternoon penny so hi hey uh I was wondering if you had plans for dinner uh you mean dinner tonight I was thinking 6:30 if you can go or a different time uh 6:30 is great really great yeah I like hanging out with you guys us guys you know Sheldon Howard Raj who else coming they might all be there or a subset of them might be there algebraically speaking there are too many unknowns okay whatever it sounds like fun great did we say a time 6:30 and that's still good for you it's fine cuz it's not carved in stone no 6:30 is great I'll get my chisel why to carve the okay I'll see you 6:30 how come you didn't go to work today I'm taking a sabatical because I won't cow mediocre Minds so you got canned huh theoretical physicists do not get canned but yeah maybe it's all for the best you know I always say when one door closes another one opens no it doesn't not unless the two doors are connected by relays or there are motion sensors involved no no I me or the first door closing creates a change of air pressure that acts upon the second door never mind Slow Down slow down please slow down we're fine you're not leaving yourself enough space between cars oh sure I am no no let me do the math for you this car weighs let's say £4,000 now add 140 for me 120 for you 120 oh I'm sorry did I insult you is your body mass somehow tied to yourself worth well yeah interesting anyway that gives us a total weight of let's say 4,400 lb let's say 4390 fine we're traveling forward at good Lord 51 mil an hour now let's assume that your brakes are new in the calipers are aligned still by the time we come to a stop we'll be occupying the same space as that Buick in front of us an impossibility that nature will quickly resolve into death mutilation and oh look they built a new putt putt course this is great look at me I'm in the real world of ordinary people just living their ordinary colorless work a day lives thank you no thank you thank you ordinary person hey you want to hear an interesting thing about tomatoes uh no no not really listen didn't you say you needed some eggs yes but anyone who knows anything about the Dynamics of bacterial growth knows to pick up their refrigerated Foods on the way out of the supermarket oh okay well maybe you should start heading on out then no this is fun oh the thing about tomatoes and I think you'll really enjoy this is they're shelved with the vegetables but they're technically a fruit interesting isn't it no I mean what you find enjoyable oh boy what now well there's some value to taking a multivitamin but the human body can only absorb so much what you're buying here are the ingredients for very expensive urine well maybe that's what I was going for well then you'll want some manganese that was fun maybe tomorrow we can go to one of those big warehouse stores oh I don't know Sheldon it's going to take me a while to recover from all the fun I had today are you sure there are a lot of advantages to buying in bulk I for example I noticed that you purchase your tampons one month supply at a time what what think about it it's a product that doesn't spoil and you're going to be needing them for at least the next 30 Years you want me to buy 30 years worth of tampons well 30 35 when did your mother go into menopause okay there you go Leonard one tequila sunrise thank you you know this drink is a wonderful example of how liquids with different specific gravities interact in a cylindrical container thank you okay Raj what will it be whatever you recommend uh how about a grasshopper I make a mean grasshopper okay good coming up Sheldon what are you going to have I'll have a Diet Coke okay can you please order a cocktail I need to practice mixing drinks fine I'll have a virgin cubal Libre that's um rum and Coke without the rum yes so coke yes and would you make it diet there's a can in the fridge uh cubal lib traditionally comes in a tall glass with a lime wedge and swim to Cuba bartenders are supposed to have people skills okay Raj here you go all right who's next I'd like to try a slippery nipple okay you're cut off anybody need a refill where did my life go Benny one day I'm a Carefree Bachelor and the next I'm married and driving a minivan to pee cricket matches in Suburban New Delhi are you talking to me is there another penny you I had such plans I had dreams I was going to be the Indra Gandhi of particle astrophysics but with a penis of course it's amazing ever since I was a little boy my father wanted me to be a gynecologist like him how can I be a gynecologist I can barely look a woman in the eye you know what I'm not going to let my parents control my future any longer it's time for Showdown somebody give me a computer with a webcam okay sweetie I think that's the grasshopper talking and it's about to tell my parents that I'm not riding an elephant down the aisle with Lita Gupta okay calm down no one can make you get married why don't you just meet this girl and see what happens haven't you been listening to me I cannot talk to women um Raj no no let's see how long it takes him Raj Penny you say you can't talk to women but you've been talking to me and now we'll never know right I I I am talking to you hello Penny how are you go tonight I have to [Applause] goonight what the hell is that I don't know but if cats could sing they'd hate it too will take my hey guys hi where are you going what we just had to mail some letters and throw away some chicken [Laughter] he'll never guess what has happened oh I give up I don't guess as a scientist I reach conclusions based on observation and experimentation although as I'm saying this it occurs to me you may have been employing a rhetorical device rendering my response moot what was that believe it or not personal growth what happened all right remember when I auditioned for that Workshop production of rent but I didn't get it and I couldn't figure out why I have a conclusion based on an observation no you don't no he doesn't well the girl they picked to play Mimi she dropped out and they asked me to replace her congratulations what a lucky break it's not a big deal just a one night showcase but they invite a lot of casting people and agents so you never know I think I know no you don't he doesn't it's this Friday at 8 you guys want to come no because uh Friday we are attending a symposium on molecular patronum I think that's a week from Tuesday at 6 no it's this Friday at 8 oh too bad well I got to get to rehearsal see you guys see you let's go out hang on the sensor's picking up something turn your head back you rat bastard told you the sensor would work why you deliberately stuck me with Sheldon come on I had to you see what he's like Betty Betty I'm hungry uh it's okay sweetie good news let home no here you go good luck bye wait wait but I'm hungry wait Penny take me with you hold him there a little longer look I've done my best but he wants to go home and I don't know how to stop them okay how about this you keep them there a little longer and when you get to the party I'll point out which of my friends are easy don't toy with me woman I got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around and an alcoholic who's two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat thy will be done we going to see you Saturday uh I don't think so why not I don't celebrate my birthday shut up yeah you do well it's no big deal it's just the way I was raised my parents focused on celebrating achievements and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them that's so silly it's actually based on very sound theories his mother published a paper on it well what was it called I hate my son and that's why he can't have cake it was obviously effective Leonard grew up to be an experimental physicist perhaps if she'd also denied him Christmas he'd be a little better at it thank you well I love birthdays waking up to Mom's special French toast breakfast wearing the birthday king crown playing laser tag with all my friends yeah see that's what kids should have actually that was last year so you really never had a birthday party no but it was okay I mean when I was little I'd think maybe my parents would change their mind and surprise me with a party like this one birthday I came home for My Cello lesson and I saw a lot of strange cars parked out front when I got to the door I could hear people whispering and I could smell German chocolate cake which is my favorite and uh it turns out my grandfather had died oh my God that that's terrible well it was kind of like a birthday party I got to see all my cousins and there was cake so that's the saddest thing I've ever heard you think go ahead tell her about your senior prom so would you get the birthday boy well Raj got him an awesome limited edition dark knight sculpture based on Alex Ross's definitive Batman and I got him this amazing autograph copy of the Fineman lectures on physics nice I got him a sweater okay okay well he might like that I've seen him get chilly uh Sheldon I didn't see your present that's because I didn't bring one why not don't ask the entire institution of gift giving makes no sense too late let's say that I go out and I spend $50 on you it's a laborious activity because I have to imagine what you need whereas you know what you need now I could simplify things just give you the $50 directly and then you could give me $50 on my birthday and so on until one of us dies leaving the other one old and $50 rich and I ask you is it worth it told you not to ask well Sheldon you're his friend friends give each other presents I accept your premise I reject your conclusion try telling him it's a non-optional social convention what just do it it's a non-optional social convention ah Fair enough he came with a [Music] manual I'm back I'm sorry I yelled at you it's not your fault what happened well I went over to Mike's to make up with him yeah no I know that part but he had already moved on already that was quick that's what I said to the woman who had her legs wrapped around his neck oh Penny I am so sorry how could he do that well you know you did throw an 80 gig iPod yeah no how could he do that I swear to God I am done with guys like that you know Macho with the perfect body and the hair and the money yeah that must get old quick you know just once I would like to go out with someone who is nice and honest and who actually cares about me what about me what about you what what about if you went out with me are you asking me out um yes I am asking you out wow I was just going off your comment about the nice guy no I know honest totally so but it's no big deal yes yes what yes I will go out with you really yeah why not I mean what do I have to lose yeah that's the spirit in 1935 Irwin schroen in an attempt to explain the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum physics he proposed an experiment where a cat is placed in a box with a sealed vial of poison that will break open at a random time now since no one knows when or if the poison has been released until the box is opened the cat can be thought of is both alive and dead I'm sorry I don't get the point of course you don't get it I haven't made it yet you have to be psychic to get it and there's no such thing as psychic show them what's the point just like Schrodinger's cat your potential relationship with Leonard right now can be thought of as both good and bad it is only by opening the box that you'll find out which it is okay so you're saying I should go out with Leonard no no no no no no let me start again in 1935 trou you guys mind if I start um penny that's where I sit sit next to me no I sit there what's the difference what's the difference here we go in the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm and yet not so close as to cause perspiration in the summer it's directly in the path of a cross Breeze created by opening Windows there and there it faces the television at an angle that is neither direct thus discouraging conversation nor so far wide as to create a par Distortion I could go on but I think I've made my point do you want me to move well just sit somewhere else fine [Laughter] Sheldon sit the rest of the guys meeting us here oh yeah no it turns out that Raj and Howard had to work and Sheldon had a colonoscopy and he hasn't quite bounced back yet o my uncle just had a colonoscopy you're kidding well then that's something we haven't common how we both have people in our Lives who want to nip intestinal Pops in the butt so what's new in the world of physics nothing really nothing well with the exception of string theory not much has happened since the 1930s and you can't prove String Theory at best you can say hey look my idea has an internal logical consistency hey do you want to see something cool I can make this olive go into this glass without touching it how physics wow centrifugal force actually it's centripetal force which is an inward Force generated by the glass acting on the olive excuse me now if you were riding on the olive you'd be in a non-inertial reference frame and would are you okay yeah I'm okay did you spill ketchup no I'm not okay right you guys ready to order hang on honey Shiva and Ganesh the Hindu godic against the entire Union Army and Orcs I'll be back excuse me ganes is the remover of obstacles and Shiva is the Destroyer When the Smoke Clears Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint julips all right my boss says you have to either order or leave and never come [Music] back this is amazing just sitting on a couch watching TV with a woman not being drunk or or high or or wondering if you're a Dude down there Leo you are a very sweet really funny guy you're going to do okay One Day at a Time Penny one day at a time how long is he going to stay here he's a homeless drug addict Leonard where is he going to go oh you have a lot to learn about lying hey guys guys some of the other waitresses wanted me to ask you something oh it's called TR it combines the physical strength of arm wrestling with the mental agility of Tetris into the ultimate sport yeah that's terrific but what they wanted me to ask you is to cut it the hell out [Music]

Channel: Big Bang Theory

Views: 258,316

Keywords: Comedy, TV, Funny, The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon, Penny, Leonard, Laughing, Warner Bros.

Id: 1wLYkWDKkx4

Length: 20min 50sec (1250 seconds)

Published: Thu May 30 2024