♪ Theme from McLintock ♪ (singing) Love in the country ♪ Where skies are blue ♪ All you'll be dreaming of ♪ Are the birds and the bees ♪ And the flowers and the trees ♪ 'Till you're up to
your knees in love ♪ There's a tree
house in the meadow ♪ below the mountain peak ♪ The perfect place for lovers ♪ when they play hide and seek ♪ There's a coverage
bridge at Crippled Creek ♪ where the horses always stop ♪ Between the tree house
and the covered bridge ♪ that's how mom won pop ♪ By makin' ♪ Love in the country ♪ Where skies are blue ♪ All you'll be dreaming of ♪ Are the birds and the bees ♪ And the flowers and the trees ♪ 'Till you're up to
your knees in love ♪ There are roses on the trellis ♪ and the scent of
scent new mowed hay ♪ The clinging vine is jealous ♪ on the fence across the way ♪ There's a great
big yellow moon above ♪ and a breeze to
sing this song ♪ Between the roses
and the yellow moon ♪ A fella can't go
wrong if he makes ♪ Love in the country ♪ Where skies are blue ♪ All you'll be dreaming of ♪ Are the birds and the bees ♪ And the flowers and the trees ♪ 'Till you're up to
your knees in love ♪ ♪ (horse and
buggy approaching) ♪ (children yelling
excitedly) - Lord to
goodness, not again! (horse neighs) (footsteps down stairs) Howdy Drago! - Morning, Curly. - Makes seven times this
month he come home swaggled. - Six. - Seven.
- Six. Once was his birthday;
that don't count. Give me my buggy whip. Didn't have anything
for breakfast but two raw eggs
and a mug of honey. - No! - Curly! - Yes, boss? - Don't say it's a fine
morning or I'll shoot you. Get out of here, Bunion! (cow moos) Good morning! - (children all together)
Morning! - Carlos, what are
you doing up there? - I hope I get it this
time, Mr. McLintock! My brothers...they got
the big hats already! - All right let them have at it. (pistol charging) (gunshot) ♪ (children yelling
excitedly) Get over.
- Ain't you gonna let me drive? You promised me
you would sometime. - No! Heyaa! - Boss, you better watch
that turn on the road. You're gonna kill both
of us one of these days! - Heyaa! ♪ - Thank you, Mr. Boss. ♪ (triumphant music) (cattle mooing) (whistling & mooing) - You got cattle
in the back, Boss! (whistling & mooing) (loud mooing) - Heyaa! - Give it up! Heyaa! (mooing & whistling) (horse neighing) Keep 'em going! Fifteen cents a pound all
the way to Kansas City! ♪ (triumphant music) Heyaa! ♪ (triumphant music) (buggy rattling) ♪ (triumphant music) (buggy rattling) ♪ - Now, Boss there's
one old pensioner I wished you'd pass up. ♪ - Bunny? - Yeah. - Wish I knew where I'd
seen his face before. - He ain't an old-timer. He's just been around
town a couple of years. - Ohhh, you have no milk
of human kindness. - Morning, Mr. McLintock! - Morning, Bunny. - Well, I can see
you're in good health. - Never felt better...contrary
to what you may hear. - Me...my kidneys ain't
what they used to be and my liver's being
leaving me bilious. - Drago. (Drago grumbling
disgustedly) (coin hitting the ground) Hello, Ben. - Hey, McLintock. (cattle mooing) - Drago, throw
that in the buggy. - Yes, sir. - That's a scrubby
bunch of sooners, huh? - They are, at that. - That ought to
make Douglas happy. Lining his pockets
with land fees. - What are we gonna do? - I don't know what
you're gonna do, Ben. Me, I do nothing. - 200 families, a quarter of beef a
week for a family. If they last two years that
can be a sizeable number. - I've got 20 head to one of any other brand
on the Mesa Verde. I'm not hollering. - Some of us haven't got
all the money in the world. Some of us ain't
old and tired, and feel like being put upon. - You interest me
young Ben, go on. - So the first time I
find one of our hides wearing our brand hung on
one of them settlers' fences, I aim to kill me a plowboy. You do what you want, McLintock. We'll do what we want. - Fellas my age generally
call me G.W. or McLintock. Youngsters call
me Mr. McLintock. - All right, Mr. McLintock. Not because I'm afraid of you. You're the big he-stud
of this country... and I reckon a fellow my
age should call you "Mr." - He's full grown now, GW. He's a half owner
of this spread. I made him a full
partner the day the doc gave me the long face. - Well, you want him
to vote the first time this territory becomes
a state, don't you? - Of course I do. - If these settlers
get burned out, there'll be a lot of hollering that this country's
too wild to be a state. We'll go on being a
territory some more... with a lot of political
appointees running it according to what they
learned in some college where they think that cows
are something you milk and Indians are something
in front of a cigar store. (train chugging
& whistle blowing) I'm looking to you to
hold young Ben down. - I'll do what I can. (train whistle blowing) - Come on over to the
house once in a while, we'll rack up a
few hands of stud. - GW, that'd be just fine. (station bell ringing) (men yelling at cattle) (cattle noises) - It's a nice
morning ain't it, Boss? - Everybody's entitled
to their own opinion. - Like that again, eh? Here's something
that'll cheer you up. About 1,000 head; I figure
they'll bring about $1250. - They're not as fat
as I'd like to ship. They all off the North Range? - Yes, sir. (bodies milling about) Settlers. Every one of them with
a plow and a bible... and not the slightest idea
what the range is for. (cattle mooing) - Drago! Drag out that hogleg. - Yes, sir. - Get me some attention. (gunshot) - Yee haw! People,
people, people! People! Come on all of you...
gather 'round! People, come on...
gather 'round. - I'm McLintock. You people plan to homestead
and farm the Mesa Verde? - Yes, sir, the government
give us each 160 acres. - The government never
gave anybody anything. Some years back a
lot like you came in. They had a pretty
good first year. Good summer...easy winter. But the next year the
last rain was in February... and by June even
the jack rabbits had sense enough to
get off the Mesa. - Folks, do you
know who that is? That's McLintock. George Washington McLintock. - I told them that, Douglas. - He controls the water rights on 200 square miles of range. You know that lumber you got? It came from his land. Cut by his loggers and
milled in his mills. - Douglas, I come
close to killing you a couple of times
when we were younger. Saddens me I didn't. - Can you imagine a
man who owns all that... Oh, and mines too, I
forgot to mention them. All that...and he's
begrudging poor people a measly...a MEASLY 160 acres. - That right, Mr. McLintock? You begrudge us a
little free land? - There's no such
thing as free land. If you make these homesteads go, you'll have earned
every acre of it. But you just can't make
them go on the Mesa Verde. God made that
country for buffalo. Serves pretty well for
cattle...but it hates the plow. And even the
government should know that you can't farm 6,000
feet above sea level. - Any trouble, Mr. McLintock? - No trouble, Sheriff. (cattle mooing) (cattle mooing) (cattle mooing) - How about you, Douglas? - Douglas? Just plain Douglas, eh? And you call him
"MR." McLintock. Why? - Well, Douglas, I guess
it's because he earned it. (horse neighing) (men murmuring) - Mr. McLintock? - Yeah. - I'm a good hand with
cattle, Mr. McLintock. I'd like a job. - Well, you look strong enough. You come in with those sooners? - Well, yes, sir but we
don't have a homestead. - Can't use you. (train chugging past) -Heyaa! (train chugging past) ♪ - Tough life ain't it, sonny? Hell, ain't much future being
a farmer around these parts. ♪ (horse hooves trotting) ♪ - Ladies, this is the finest Chantilly lace
available anywhere. - "Shan-te-ye", Mr. Birnbaum. - Well, believe
me it's the best. Oh, excuse me please. Look around, take your time. Drago, I got 1,000 Havana cigars and 12 of those hats
for you over there. - Them twelve big hats
ain't gone last long the way some folks
have been dipping into that red eye these days. - Uh-oh... - Good morning, G.W! Good morning, I stole
some stick candy. - Please help yourself.
Come on in! (door opens) Davey...you can forget about
saddling up the horse. Come in here. - Problem? - Yes. - Well, if I were blacks, I'd move queen's
bishop to king four. - Yeah, you might be right! You know I was just
starting to work this out when the letter came! - Letter? (door opens) - What happened don't
you want me to... - Morning, Mr. McLintock! - Morning, Davey. - You being here
saved me a trip! Oh...that hat and
suit of clothes you picked out
for my birthday? well, instead of
this cowboy hat... I'd like to have this one. If it's...all right
with you, sir. - Oh that's all right
with me, Davey. Of course, that looks
like the kind of a hat a fellow would wear down
Main Street to start a fight. - Oh I don't need a
city hat for that. All I have to do is
walk down the street and some wiseacre will
call me an Indian, and just like that
the fight's on. - Davey...the letter?
It's for you. And you ARE an Indian. - Yes, I know I'm an Indian. But I'm also the
fastest runner in town. I've got a
college education, and I'm the railroad
telegrapher. But does anybody say,
"Hello, college man", or, "Hello, runner"
or, "Hello, telegrapher?" No! Not even,
"Hello, knot head." - Davey. - It's always let
the Indian do it. - Will you go out in the
store and help the ladies? - All right. I'm also
bookkeeper...part-time clerk. Always, let the Indian do it! - A lady brought that
out here this morning and asked for it to be taken out
to the home ranch for you. Handsome lady, kind of
tall with red hair. Called me "Mr. Birnbaum" just as
if she'd never seen me before and as if that veil
that covered her face would keep me from
recognizing her. I though she was in New
York or Europe or someplace? - So did I. - Jake, you better
throw on a couple extra cases of the
boss's favorite bourbon. That stuff sure gets used
up fast out at our place. - Which reminds me...you
better start tapering off. - Hehhh! - Katherine's in town. - Katie?! ♪ - Ladies. Morning. ♪ - Morning, Mr. McLintock. - Hi Mr. McLintock!
- Good morning, gentlemen. ♪ - Morning. - Hello Mr. Mac!
- Morning Mac darling. - Fauntleroy. - Good morning, GW. - What are you doing in here? Why aren't you out at the desk? - Helping out the bartender. - Yeah, I see a busy day. Give me the key to Room 17. What? - 17 and don't advertise it! - Here they come, Mr. McLintock. (bodies bustling
through the door) - Set 'em up. - Beer!
- Whiskey! - Day off? - Off day. - Wonder what he's
so preoccupied about? - Haven't YOU heard? - No, what? - Katie's back in town. - Katie? - Yes, dear the social arbiter. (women laughing) Well, hi, sonny. - Good morning...ohhh! (women laughing) - He sure is a polite one! - Mr. McLintock...I
don't wanna bother you. - I'm sorry boy I
told you, no job. ♪ (door unlocking
& opening) ♪ (door closing) ♪ Katherine. - George Washington McLintock. ♪ I thought you'd want THIS. (table rattling) - First dig of the spur. But who am I to
upset your plans? (liquor pouring) Don't you feel kind of silly? - I never feel silly. - It's because you
have no sense of humor. Why couldn't we sit down
in the hotel dining room and talk about whatever it
is you wanna talk about? Or why couldn't you just
come over to the house? - And have everybody
know that we're meeting. - Everybody knows and
what's the difference? We're married! - That is something I
should like to change. (paper rustling) - You know the answer, Katie. That isn't why you sent for me. Let's get to the rat killin'. - That's just the kind of remark that's always
endeared you to me. - Let us open the discussion. - Very well. Our daughter is coming
home in a few days... Rather she's coming HERE. It was just a slip of
the tongue that made me refer to this ugly
hamlet as home. - Our daughter... Is it so hard to
say her name? It's Becky. - Rebecca! I hate that name! Anyway, she's coming home. And I hoped to persuade
you to let her live with me; part of the time in the capital, part of the time in New York and of course Newport
during the season. - You're whistling
in the wind, Katie. - If she stays here she'll
become just as crude and as vulgar as
all of this country. - And if she goes your way
she'll be all show and no stay. No go, Kate. - I hate you! Oh, how I hate you! - Half the people in
the world are women. (door slams) Why does it have to
be YOU that stirs me? (gasping) - You animal. - That's the story. I saw your picture in the
paper at the governor's ball. You were dancing
with the governor. - At least he's a gentleman. - I doubt that. You have to be a man first
before you're a gentleman. He misses on both counts. (door opens) (door slams shut) ♪ (sad romantic music) - Hey, sonny...you
gonna ask him again? - Nope. - Hey boy, you gotta pocket
your pride...you gotta beg! You better listen
to an expert, sonny. I'm telling you,
you got to grovel. Human nature - gets
'em every time! - Mister...leave me alone. - Everybody does it
one way or another! (scoffing) (buggy rattling) - About that job, Mr. McLintock. - I already told you, son. I've got no need for
farmers or use for them. - Just one minute,
Mr. McLintock. My father died last month. That's how come we
lost our homestead. I've got a mother and a
little sister to feed. I need that job badly. - What's your name? - Devlin Warren. - You've got a job, son. See my home ranch foreman
he's over at the corral. (Bunny scoffing) - Step down off of
that carriage, mister. (scuffling) (horse neighing
loudly) - Hold that hogleg! I've been punched
many a time in my life but never for hiring anybody. - Ahhhhh, I don't
know what to say. I never begged before... Turned my stomach. I suppose I should've been
grateful you gave me the job. - Gave? Boy, you got it all wrong. I don't give jobs, I hire men. - You intend to give this
man a full day's work, don't you boy? - You mean you'll still
hiring me, Mr. McLintock? Well, yes sir! I mean I'll certainly
deliver a fair day's work! - For that I'll pay
you a fair day's wage. You won't GIVE me anything and I won't GIVE you anything. We both hold up our heads. Where do you live? - The settlers' encampment
down by the mine. - That's your plug? - Yes, sir. - Well, hop on him and
we'll go get your gear. ♪ (upbeat music) - Heyaa! - Heyaa! ♪ (upbeat music) (liquid pouring) - Morning, Mr. McLintock. - Morning, Mr. Pourboire. ♪ - I'm sure that
all you fine people are interested in
knowing just what portion of this new land
will be your new home. Oh, ah...Jones and McAllister,
since you've been more or less the
leaders of our group I'd like to have you come up
and check the exact location. - Won't be a
minute, sir. (horses trotting) - Go after that boy
and give him $30. Tell him McLintock pays his
riders a month in advance. - From the looks of things
they can sure use it, too. - Oh Mom? This is Mr. Drago. - Morning. - Well, and to what
do we owe this visit from the cattle baron? - I've got a touch of
hangover, bureaucrat. Don't push me. - Ohhhho, McLin! - Say, those are Indians! Are there Indians in
this homestead land? - Friendly Indians, my boy. - Ohhhho, McLin! - Ohhh, Running Buffalo! - Ohhh, McLin! Long time
we don't get drunk together. - And it's gonna be
a lot longer time! 'Cause it's against the law,
and you're with the sheriff! - And have I got
my hands full! They came into town
to meet the train. The old Indian chiefs
are coming home. - I heard they'd been pardoned. - They don't know
when it's arriving. This week, next
week, or next month. So in the meantime I've got
to do something with them. Could I cut out a couple of head of your steers to feed them? Otherwise, some of these
settlers' milk cows are going to disappear. - That's right, McLin! (GW laughing) - Cut out whatever you need. - Sheriff! Are you
gonna camp these savages with all these settlers? YOU'RE asking for trouble! - Mr. Douglas, I already
have plenty of trouble. Please stay off my back. Running Buffalo...bring your
people over to the clay slide. (horses and bodies bustling) - Hello, Mr. McLin. - Tiny Mouth! It's
nice to see you! You wouldn't believe it
now but 20 years ago, she was a mighty
handsome maid! - 20 years ago you thought
so too, Mr. Douglas. (Mr. Douglas
clears his throat) - It was just like this; I had a dead bead on
old Running Buffalo... and my Sharp 50
caliber misfired. That was back in that
trouble in the '40s remember? - I remember. - You wanna taste something
come directly from Heaven? - No. Where'd you get this?
- That boy's mama baked 'em! You thinking the
same thing I am? She's a widow woman, boss and she's got a long
hard row to hoe. - Hire her. ♪ (heavenly music) - I always said you
had a heap of sense! - Mr. McLintock,
this is my mother. - Your mother?! - And my sister. - Pleased to meet
you, Mr. McLintock. - Ma'am, this here's my boss and he has a few choice words to say about your biscuits! - Yes, Mr. McLintock? - Well... They're great! ♪ (tense music) Well, you old Cantonese
reprobate, how 'bout it? - You fire me...I kill myself! - I'm not talking about
firing you, I'm retiring ya! You've been rustling
food for us for 30 years. We're gonna put
you out to pasture. All you'll have to do is give
advice, be one of the family. - I kill myself! - I may save you the trouble. - Look, Ching... If you kill yourself I'll
cut off your pigtail, and you ain't never
gone get to heaven! - I'll be one of the family? - I give you my solemn word. - Pretty crummy family! Drink too much...
get in fights... yell all the time! - Cut off his pigtail! - Alright, alright! I'll
be one of the family! (yammering in
Cantonese) (dinner sounds) - I hope everything
is satisfactory! This is such a big house, it'll take me a while
to get used to things. Now, please don't hesitate to
tell me if anything is wrong. - No bird's nest soup! Otherwise, just fine. Everything all nicely. Finally fine.
- Food's heaven, ma'am. - Best apple pie I ever had. - Curly's right, ma'am. Hated to leave that last bite. - Shall we celebrate
with a drink? - Carlos... come and
help me with the dishes. Alice, do you want to help, too? - Yes, Drago. - All right, pitch in. Now, I'll wash and
you kids can dry. Is that good? Here. (carriage rattling) - Don't seem possible one woman could use all of them clothes. - You keep a civil tongue in
your unprepossessing face. - Yes, ma'am.
- And unload my baggage please. - Yes, ma'am. By the way what does that
word "unprepossessing" mean? (door opens) - Mrs. McLintock! - Oh, hello, Carlos! Run and help the
driver with my luggage. I couldn't trust anyone
else in this house to do anything correctly. - Luggage? Give him a hand, Curly. - Yes, boss.
Mrs. McLintock. - Are you moving back in? - Yes, but nothing has changed except my place of residence. And I'd be willing to
put up with savages rather than be denied the
company of my daughter. And I'm proving that
by moving in here. - Mr. McLintock, since
it's my first day... would you excuse me if I-- - Go ahead. Oh Katherine,
this is Dev Warren. He joined the outfit today. - Pleased, ma'am. - Thank you. Well, how refreshing! A polite young man here. Where did he come from? - He's a farmer. - A farmer?!
- Well, I'll be doggone! Kate, welcome home! - What on earth are you doing in that idiotic looking outfit? And don't you dare
call me Kate! - That's my butlering suit. I'm butlering for the boss. And I'm sorry, Katherine,
that Kate kind of slipped out from the times I remembered
you as being nice peo...(gasps)! People!
(exasperated tone) (Katherine gasps) - Are you going to stand there with that stupid
look on your face while the hired help
insults your wife? - He's just ignorant. He doesn't know any better
than to tell the truth. And I can't help
this stupid look. I started acquiring it as you
gained in social prominence. - Mrs. McLintock, where
do you want I should... Put them...? - Put 'em in the
master bedroom. (dramatic music) - Yes! But move Mr. McLintock's
things into ANOTHER room! The one back of the
stairs would be best, so that he can't wake
up the ENTIRE household when he comes home every night...
- Here's the... - just before daybreak! - Yes, ma'am. - Oh, excuse me! Here's your cigars,
Mr. McLintock. - I am MRS. McLintock. - Kate...I mean Katherine...
this is the cook... Errr, this is the lady does
the cooking for us. - Mrs. Warren...
Mrs. McLintock. - How do you do? - Very pleased to meet
you, Mrs. McLintock. Very pleased. - Likewise. - You see I just came
to work here today and I guess I jumped
to the conclusion that this was a...a
bachelor's household! - It is...and then
again it isn't. I will explain so everything will be quite
clear, Mrs. Wallace. - (All) Mrs. Warren! - Mrs. Warren, It has been a
bachelor's household for quite some time.
(gritting teeth) And it will be again just
as soon as I'm out of here... which will be as quickly
as I can make arrangements to take my daughter
back east with me. You see, she's coming home
from school in a few days and then we'll be off together, and you can return to
conducting yourself as you consider proper in
a bachelor's household. - Katie! - Shut up! Until then, I am
mistress in this house. And I will give the orders! I'll want my breakfast
served in bed! - Ain't you gonna
say nothing, Boss? - No!
- One poached egg, tea, toast... Oh GW, as soon as my
things are put away I want to talk to
you about Rebecca. - Yes, Mrs. McLintock. Indeed, Mrs. McLintock. Of course, Mrs. McLintock. - The toast lightly
browned and unbuttered. - Of course, ma'am. - Wait a minute now Boss where
do you think you're going? - I just remembered
I got a date. - But she said she
wanted to have a talk... - I heard. (door opens) (door closes) Good evening, Lem. - Good evening, Mr. Mac. (carriage rattling) Say, Mr. Mac, what does
"unprepossessing" mean? - I was called that once, Lem. Looked it up in the dictionary. It's best you don't
know what it means. - Thank you!
Giddyup! (carriage rattles away) - Hey! What am I gonna tell her
when she asks where you went? - When in doubt tell the truth. She wouldn't expect
that from you anyway. - Where's Mr. McLintock going? - There he goes burning
his last bridge. You see a yellow streak
about a foot wide running up and
down his backbone? - On Mr. McLintock? He ain't afraid of NUTHIN'! - I once thought that. (footsteps up stairs) (door opens) - Drago? - Yes, ma'am.
- Was that... - He took off, lit out. - I told him I wanted
to talk to him! - Yes, ma'am I was standing
right over here when you said it and I was standing right out
there on those front steps when he walked up the horse,
grabbed a hunk of mane stepped up on him and sunk spur. - Where did he go? - Last time I saw him
he was going east, but you know him, he's liable
to go north, south, or west. - Get me a carriage! - Yes, ma'am, but... - But what? - Maybe you shouldn't
follow him into, maybe, where he's going into. - What does THAT mean? - I don't know but I
wish I hadn't said it. - Well, just get
the carriage. - Yes, ma'am. - What happened? - Get the barouche.
- Barouche? - Hitch it up, she
wants to go to town. - But Mr. McLintock never
said anything to me about it. - Look, young fellow
I'm the ram... I'm the ramrod
around this place. And you better start
giving me a yes, sir or you going to get
the roof of this house pulled down on your head. - Yes, sir. - Hello, Davey. - Hi, Mr. McLintock. - New broom, eh? - Sweeps clean! ♪ (lively saloon music) - Hello, Bunny,
how is everything? - Oh fine, fine
Mr. McLintock! I'll get you next time! ♪ (lively saloon music) - Two more, Elmer. - Coming up. - Well! Look who's here. - What'll it be Mac?
...Same as usual? - Ladies. Evening, GW! - Jake. - Wrong move. - What? - Chess problem...
queen's in danger. (doors banging) ♪ (lively saloon music) (horses & carriage
arriving outside) (Dev trying to control horses)
(commotion & horses neighing) (Katherine yelling
in the hallway) - I suppose you can do that! - Camille...you're
on your own. (door slamming) - Mrs. McLintock. - I'm Camille...
Camille Reedbottom. I'm...learning the
game of chess. (hemming & hawing) Thought it would give me
something to pass the time. See I have nothing
to do all day or night... I...just remembered
something... (loud bang) - Katherine! I didn't
hear you come in! - Mr. McLintock. I told you
that I wanted to talk to you! - Not now. - Could I get you a glass
of sherry, Katherine? - Oh, thank you, Mr.
Birnbaum, I could use one. I came into town
behind a runaway team! - Drago never could
handle horses. - It was that young man whose mother pretends
to be your cook. - Katherine, your wine. - Thank you, Mr. Birnbaum. (smack) (smack) (smack) Now, Mr. McLintock, we have an awful
lot to talk over. - First thing I learned
about Indian fighting was to wait for daylight. - What does our conversation
got to do with Indian fighting? - Indian fighting
is good experience for our kind of conversations. (scoffs) It'll wait, Katherine. - Evening Sheriff.
...Mr. McLintock. We had quite
a ride out here! Oh, I finally got that
team settled down. - It's your move. - No, it's your move
...I just castled. - Now, look here. You're not going to
sit here ALL night long and play chess when the
matter of our daughter remains unsettled! - I am gonna remain
here and play chess, and the matter of our
daughter is SETTLED. She stays. - Such stubbornness! - Katherine...your hair! Oh... It is a mess after
that AWFUL ride. - No...it's just that I haven't
seen you for a long time... and it seems to me the
last time I saw you your hair was a
little darker, no? (laughing to himself) (Katherine mocking) It's a funny thing the tricks
a man's memory will play, huh? - Mr. Birnbaum, I
think that you've completely lost your mind. - You HAVE done
something to your hair! - I HAVE NOT! (laughing) If I had it'd be none
of your business. Certainly not gonna put
myself in the place of those blondine trollops that
you seem to prefer. - Take it. - Oh. - Fill it. - Oh! ♪ (soft music) - Morning! You fellows still
at it all night? - A McLintock never quits. But a Birnbaum has to. Besides the game
is over, you got me. - Oh no, Mr. Birnbaum. You
still got a good game! - Ohhh you play chess? Please, take over. - Pretty good? - Fair. - Well...looks like I won't
have to come into town always to get a game. Remember, I'm a bad loser. It's your move. - Yes, sir. ♪ (soft music) (blowing) ♪ - Good morning. - Good morning. Oh...it's morning
already? - Cup of coffee? - Oh yes, thanks Jake. - You're welcome, Katherine. - Got any cream? - Canned cows' milk. - That'll do. - Good old condensed milk. That reminds me... I was cleaning out
my desk the other day... and I found something I
wanted to return to you. Here it is. ♪ It's a medal...remember? From the President of the
United States of America... to First Sergeant
Michael Patrick Gilhooley... for bravery above and
beyond the call of duty. It's your papa. Reminds me of the first
time I ever saw you. It was over 17 years ago. You walked into my store not much bigger than the
bundle you were carrying. And in the bundle was the most
beautiful baby I ever saw. And was she hungry! You walked all the way
from Superstition Creek just to trade me that medal
for a case of canned milk. GW was off somewhere as
usual...fighting Indians. - Sheriff! Sheriff Lord! Have you seen the sheriff? - Kind of early for him. Did you try his house? - Why didn't I think of that? - Looks like Birnbaum's is open. Maybe somebody in here knows. So there you are, sheriff. I told you, you were
headed for trouble. - Trouble? - I wanna know by
whose authority you let those
Indians stay in town. Those savages are wards
of the government, and I am the representative
of that-- - I told Sheriff Lord
that he could put them up down by the clay side. - Because the town's named
after him he thinks he owns it. - Well you check the books
in the recorder's office and you'll find I do
own a fair piece of it. Agard, if you knew
anything about Indians you'd know that they're
doing their level best to put up with our so
called benevolent patronage in spite of the nincompoops that have been put
in charge of it. - Those Indians need
my permission to leave the reservation. - Those chiefs been giving
orders all their lives. It's pretty hard for
them to understand that they have to hold
up their hand like a schoolboy in a classroom. - The law is very clear. - I told you you'd get no
satisfaction from these people. But we'll get the girl back. - Girl? - The girl the Indians
kidnapped...but don't worry. I armed the settlers
and set them to rounding up
those red devils. - What is this about a girl? - Millie Jones, one of
the settler's daughters. - The Indians kidnapped her. - That's ridiculous. And you turned loose a lot
of farmers with shotguns? - I certainly did. - You're insane. Let's go, sheriff. ♪ (tense music) - Mr. Douglas... - Mrs. McLintock. - Much as I hate to agree
with GW about anything, you haven't changed a bit. You're still an hysterical fool. ♪ (ominous music) - I come into town,
I got worried. - What about? - Thought maybe Katie shot you. - Not yet, Drago, but
it took restraint. - Wait a minute, we
better take Agard along. Not that he'll be much help. - Drago, help him on the horse. ♪ (upbeat music) - Just a minute! (horse neighing) (carriage creaking) - I'll drive. - Yes, ma'am. (horse neighing and
throwing a fit) - Agard, what
are you doing? - Stretch him, Agard! - Agard, this is serious. - Stay with him, Agard. Stay with him! (thump) - Agard...will you stop showing
off and get in this buggy? - Mercy. Mercy. - That horse is
a little green! ♪ - Let's go. Heyaa! ♪ (triumphant music) Just where do you
think you're going? - Don't use that range
boss tone of voice with me! ♪ (dramatic music) - Carter! (steer mooing) We're headed for
Mr. Pourboire's mine. Mount up some riders. - Right, Boss. You heard the man! ♪ - I don't like
it, Mr. McLintock. I don't like it one bit! - What don't you like? - They're planning
to hang an Indian! ♪ (dramatic music) (whack)
♪ (tense music) ♪ (tense music) - Whoa Sheriff...real funny. Where's the whiskey? Haaaaha. - Hold it. (thump) No so fast, Mr. Boss
of the whole country... unless you wanna wear a
big hole in your middle. - How long is GW gonna let that cheechalker
push him around? - That cheechalker has
a sawed-off shotgun. - How do you know she
didn't wander off someplace or meet some fellow
or something? - What are you saying? That I didn't raise
my girl right? That she'd wander off
all night with some man? - There's a lot of things
I'm not saying to you, mister while you got a sawed-off
shotgun in my middle. But how do you know this Indian
had anything to do with it? - She's gone ain't she? She's gone! - Pa. Pa, I'm over here. Pa! Been looking for me, Pa? - Where you been, girl? - Young Ben took me
for a sunrise ride... and the horse wandered away! (crowd laughing) - You come down off of there. - But, Pa! - She's telling the
truth, Mr. McLintock. We weren't doing nothing! - Well, that's not
important right now. The important thing is that
you don't draw that hogleg or this will be worse than
Dodge City on Saturday night. - You get on back to the wagon. I'll tend to you later. Now for this young
whippersnapper. - Now, no harm has been
done and young Ben here is one of the nicest
boys in the territory so just put down
that shotgun... - I'll teach him to
fool with my... (groaning) - Now, we'll all calm down.
(gritting teeth) - Boss, he's just
a little excited. - I know, I know. I'm gonna use good judgment. I haven't lost my
temper in 40 years. But, pilgrim, you caused a
lot of trouble this morning. Might have got somebody killed. And somebody ought to belt
you in the mouth but I won't. I won't... The hell I won't!
(pow) ♪ (dramatic music) (splash) McLintock riders. ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) - Hahaaaaa! Ohhhhh McLin! - Hey, Buster, remember me? (pow) - Hello, sir. Nice party. ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) - Do you think you ought to? - I ought to what? ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) Why you big! ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) - Yeeeooww! - Aaaahhhhh! ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) (splash) ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) - Good morning. - I want a word with you.
- Next morning. Hey, just a minute! What are you gonna
do...my glasses! Hey, now stop this
or you'll be sorry! (train bell ringing) Heyyyyyyyyyy! ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) - Stay out of this, Jake. - It's everybody's war! ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) (splash) ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) - Now you'll pay! - Ohhhh McLin! Where's the whiskey? ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) Where's the whiskey? Good fight, good fight. ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) - Good try, McLintock. - Oooohoooo McLin. - Thanks. (pow) ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) - Aaaaaahaaaaa...very funny. - Yeah, very funny. ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) - Gosh Mr. Douglas, I'm sorry! Hahahahahahaha! - Bon voyage, Drago. Yaaaaaaaaa! ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) - Are you still down here? - Sage! Horse
wandered away huh? - Honest, Mr. Jones,
honest! (pow) ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) - Get out of my way! ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) Nice left. - Thanks. (pow) - But I went to college. - For this you
don't need college! - You're not getting
me down there! ♪ (western fight music)
(sounds of scuffling & fighting) - Yeeeooowwww! (splash) - You did this on purpose! Oooohhhh! Why, McLintock, you big...! - Good morning to
you, Mrs. McLintock. - Bunny, you big... (smack) (GW yelling) (Katherine screaming) - Oh, no! (splash) - GW, because of you
this great, big, clumsy... - Well, it's pretty hard
to control yourself... Whoaaaaaaa! - People, people,
people! (splashing around) - Ohhhhhhhh! - Ohhhhh McLin! Ohhhhh McLin...good party
...but no whiskey. We go home. ♪ - YOU and your friends! - Well, we at least
saved your hat. (scoffing) (splash) - Where is everybody? For heaven sakes. ♪ - Whoa, whoa. - Drago, will
you never learn how to handle a team? - Yes, ma'am,
I'll sure try. I'll tell you that, now. - Crummy family. - You wanna lose your pigtail? - I lose face. Lousy relatives! - You're gonna lose
more than that! - Kate? - Yes? - We could be a...big
help to one another. - Like what, may I ask? - Well, we could wash the
mud off of each other? We used to have quite good
times doing that sort of thing. - There are a lot of
things we used to do. Good night, Mr. McLintock. (sighs) (door opens) (door closes) - Any luck? - What are you talking about? - I mean...divorce. She still want it? - Yeah. - You know something,
women are funny. She fought like a
wildcat on your side out there this afternoon. Come home she slams
the door in your face. That divorce business,
is that what you get when you pay a woman
not to live with you? - That's about it. - Some women I
know it'd be worth it. - You know if we had
any moral character we wouldn't be standing here
covered with mud drinking when we should be washing. - GW! - Drago! ♪ - Mrs. Warren, these
biscuits....mmmmm! - Aw, thank
you, Drago! ♪ - Morning, Mrs. Warren. - Morning,
Mr. McLintock. - Breakfast for the boss? - If that's the way you
want it, Mr. McLintock. ♪ (shade rolling up) ♪ One poached egg, tea, toast lightly
browned, and un... Why, Mrs. McLintock...
you have a black eye. - I do? Oooooo... Ohhhhh! Ohhhhh! And Becky's coming
home today! - And that's not all. There's a little something
we'd better get settled. There are no men listening
now, so we can be ourselves. Oh sure, I let you get away with
all that guff the other night... but now that we're alone-- - When I want the opinion
of the hired help, I'll ask for it! - You know you could wind
up with two black eyes. - What?
- Oh... I realize you had to
put on that big act. We always have to just before
we get ready to forgive them... generally for something
they haven't done. But you and I both
know that's just to keep them from getting
the idea they ah... "run" things. McLintock give you
that black eye? - No! Nobody gave it to me. I won it! ♪ (train whistle blowing) (marching band playing) - Morning, Davey. - Morning, Mrs.
Beech, Mr. Beech. (marching band playing) (train rumbling)
(marching band playing) (train whistle blaring) (station bell tolling) (station bell tolling)
(marching band playing) (train chugging)
(marching band playing) (band playing loudly) - Why, Miss Becky, welcome home.
- Hello Mr. Douglas. - My boy!
- How are you? It's good to see you again. - Daddy!
- Welllll! - Daddy! - Hahahahahaha! - It's been two long years. - I guess I'm gonna have
to stop calling you Tomboy. - Becky. - Mama! Oh Mama!
- Hello darling. - I wasn't sure
you'd be here. - Oh, I've been
here a few days. Oh Becky, I bought you three of
the most beautiful dresses. - Baby! - Uncle Drago! - Did you bring your old
uncle a coming-home present? - Sure did! - What is it? A mustache cup! And what did you get me? The prettiest Palomino pony that ever packed a saddle. Broke the stand
ground tie in the county. (horn blaring) - Uncle Jake! (giggling). What are you doing with
Mr. Douglas's tuba? - Oh, Mr. Douglas
has a fat... Had a little accident. - I brought you a whole
shipment of licorice sticks. But now that I've seen
how much you've grown I think we better
exchange them for a couple of bowls
of dress goods, huh? - Thank you! - Oh, the mayor was
going to be here... but he had to go to
the territorial capital on a horse theft matter, but
I'm gonna give his speech! (audience cheering
& applauding) And don't worry
about the mayor. I'm sure that he can find a
bill of sale for the horse. (crowd laughing) Ladies and gentlemen, we are here to
welcome the fairest... What am I doing?
(paper rustling) We are here to welcome back the prettiest girl that
was ever born in McLintock or in any part of the territory. (steam hissing) - Hey, Davey.
- Yeah? - Got something for you. Yardmaster up at junction
told me to let them ride so I locked them in here. I've had my scalp
a long time... and I aim to keep it. ♪ (dramatic music) (crowd commotion) - Yahtahey.
- (crowd) Yahtahey! (crowd chattering) - And now she's come back to us. Gone are the pigtails... but the freckles are still
on the prettiest face that was ever
born in McLintock. (spirited singing
& drums beating) - Hey, that's Puma. Then it's true...the government
did turn them loose. - Good old Puma. I'll never forget when
he brought GW home. Your father had a hole in
his chest and a 104 fever. Of course they weren't
very mannerly about it. He came past the house
at a high lope and... threw him on the doorstep. - Then you do remember them
good old days don't you, Kate? - Katherine. (spirited singing
& drums beating) - Yahtahey
my friends. - Yahtahey! - Puma, honored enemy! - Does Big McLintock forget
that also blood brothers. - No, I'll never forget that. - Old wound...
does it hurt still? - I feel it when it
comes on to rain. An inch higher and I
wouldn't have had to worry. - Big McLintock, that
was remembered fight! We return with news... Our people have more trouble. You see I learned good
English now, Big McLintock. Learned in white man's jail. But we would have you talk our
cause at government hearing. - I understand that
Governor Humphrey is gonna preside
at that meeting. Yes, Puma, I'll
translate your wishes. - Mr. McLintock... could
I impose upon you to use your Comanche to
tell these people. - Puma is chief of the Comanches and he speaks English very well. - Oh, well... - Your people will
have to follow my instructions to the letter. - It is the law of the land...
- We go. - Well, now, just a minute. (crowd chattering) Well, for heaven sakes. (crowd murmuring) ♪ (lively band music) - You wait here, honey,
I'll get the buggy. - You going to
McLintock's party? - Surely! - Will I see you there, Beth? - Of course, Davey, and you
can have the first dance. - Sis. (train whistle blowing) I don't want any sister of
mine talking to strangers. - Davey's not a stranger! He clerks in Birnbaum's. (train chugging away) - He's an Indian. (train rumbling
& crowd noise) (loud bump) (suitcase
hitting ground) - Darn you, Drago. Now look what you've done. - Baby, this is Devlin Warren. He works for your papa. Dev, this is Miss
Becky McLintock. - Those are my things. - Yes ma'am. I'd a known you
anywhere, Miss Becky. - What do you mean? - Oh...I mean you look so
much like your mother... well even prettier. - Oh, Mr. Warren! Mother's much
prettier than I am. - Many a fight started
with words like that. Come on, get in the buggy. - Hello, Ching. We've got cherry pie for dinner? - I'm not cooking. - No, he's not. - Junior! - Yes, Miss Becky? - You remember
Junior Douglas, mama? - Oh, of course...
how's college? - Valedictorian, 95! - Congratulations. Oh Mr. And Mrs. Douglas, we will see you at
the party, of course. - Ohhh, delighted! Well, it'll be pretty hard
to keep young Matt away. - Yes, sir.
- Drago? - Yes, Boss
baggage is all loaded. - GW...you remember
young junior? - Oh yes, like father like son. - Oh, uh Mr. McLintock, I
hope you don't think I'm being presumptuous in asking for the honor of
calling on Miss Rebecca. - Well, there she
is, ask her yourself. - Well, thank you, sir. - Ching, now I'm
gonna get fired. Giddy up out of here! - Thank you sir, thank you!
(carriage rattling away) (thump) - Have you
no manners? - See you at the party, Junior! - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, what? - Like father, like son. - What did he mean, Matthew? - Come on, Ching,
grab a root and growl. (yammering in Cantonese) (cow mooing) - Well, you're doing a
good job, Miss McLintock. - Thank you, Mrs. Warren. - Dev, when you're
finished there go over and help Drago
with the beer kegs. - Yes, mom. - Dev, could you come
and help me a minute? ♪ I certainly was surprised
to hear you went to college. - Why? - I don't know. Junior says Purdue
is a good college for a backwater
place like Indiana. - Well, he did indeed? - Oh, could you do
this? I can't reach it. Why didn't you finish college? - Lack of funds. My father got sick and
he had to come out West. So he took out a homestead. - You know your mom's sure cute. It's too bad you didn't
inherit her eyes. - Well, you'd have been
lucky if you'd inherited a few things from your father. - Oh really?
For instance? - His common sense for instance. - Common sense? - Yeah, you don't
see him being fooled by some dude like
Junior Douglas. - Junior's not a dude! He's nifty! This needs a woman's touch. And besides...he got
a letter at college. - What sport? - Glee club. - Very strenuous. (scoffs) - Ohh! Umph! Don't you dare hug me! Umph! I have no intention
of hugging you. Hmmph! ♪ ♪ (western party music
& guests chattering) - The ladies all look
lovely, Katherine. You know this is
a real fine party. - Thank you, Ben. Of course, we had
to invite everybody. Just everybody.
(gritting teeth) - Sorry GW, this one's mine. - Thank you, Mrs. Warren. I guess I'll have to be a
good host in my own home. - Well, the next one's
yours, Mr. McLintock. - Thank you. ♪ (western party music) (children yelling excitedly) (guests chatting
& laughing) ♪ (western party music) (audience applauding) - Drago, go and do
what I told you to do. - Ohhh, Katie... - Katherine, and
do as you're told! - Drago, do this.
Drago, do that. Yee haw, people, people, people. This Douglas feller-- - Drago! - Yes, ma'am. Matt Douglas Junior is
going to bring you folks some of the latest
terpsichorean dance steps brand new brought by him
directly from New York City. (audience applauding
excitedly) All right, Mr. Fiddler. ♪ (lively dance music) - Give me a whiskey. (speaking cantonese)
What? - This turn a 10
gallon party, boss. We're run out of whiskey! - Well, I can take
care of that, Ching. (yammering in Cantonese) (splash) ♪ - Indian!
(pow) And you still got any ideas about asking my sister to dance get up and we can do
this all over again. - Yes! - That's enough! You fought, it's over!
- Get out of my way. - Quit butting in, Birnbaum. He's a hired man not your son. - Look, you fought
him fair and square. - I don't think it was
so fair and square. - What, you wanna take
up where he left off? - If I did you wouldn't
find it so easy. - Now, we've
had enough of this! - Well when are you gonna
quit walking away? - Just as soon as we're
out of sight of the party. A lesson I learned back home
don't fight in front of women. - Well, we're
out of sight now! - So we are. (pow) (pop, pop, pow) (thump) (pow, thump) (men scuffling) - Such vulgarity! Someone should do
something about it. (pow)
- You're right. (pow) Absolutely right. (pop) (pop, pop, pow) (thump) (pop, pop, pow, bam) (thump) (crash) (plop) - You all right, young Ben? (panting) - I'm all right, Mr. McLintock. - Pretty fancy fighting
for a country boy. - Two years at Purdue, Mr.
McLintock, on the boxing team. - I never thought any
farmer could whip me. But you sure did. - Better get him cleaned up. Get him some water, Jake. ♪ Get yourself cleaned up. Go ask that girl for a dance. - Who? Ohhh! - Did I miss much?
(laughing) - Where is he!
I'll fight him! That young whippersnapper! - Trouble.
- Where is that farmer boy? Where is he? Where is he, GW? Oh, so you're the young farmer
boy that whipped my nephew. Well, I'm Fauntleroy
Sage, young Ben's uncle. - Well, I'm no farmer but
if you're young Ben's uncle, yes, I whipped him
and you're intruding. - What's intruding mean? - Butting in. - Oh, so he's
insultin' me! Well, then I got another
reason for walloping him besides on account of him
thrashing my nephew, young Ben. - Fauntleroy, you
can't get mixed up in these youngsters'
quarrels! - Family honor! I can't have it said a
farmer whipped a Sage. - You're twice his size. - Don't let that bother
you, Mr. McLintock. If Mr. Fauntleroy insists, I'll just have to teach
him the same lesson. (thud) (thud) (dull thuds) - Say! (loud crack
& crash) (thump) Sorry, young feller. (laughing) Hate to have to do
that, young fellow. No hard feelings. - Not yet! - Not yet what? - I mean that isn't all. - Now, wait a minute. Fauntleroy, we're gonna
make this a fair fight. - Of course we are. Of course we are, GW. - There'll be none of this. (thump)
- Oomph! - I wouldn't do that, GW! - You wouldn't do...
(thump) - Oomph! No! I wouldn't do that. - And Dev...I don't want you
kicking Fauntleroy in the knees. (whack) - He didn't do no such thing. - And none of this
nose twisting. - Oooowwwwww! - He's all yours. (thud) (thud) (wham) (big crash) (writhing around in debris) - Where are my glasses? - You all right, young feller? - Oooouch! - I'm all right if
this Indian agent will stop stepping
all over me. - GW...you were
just funning me. But I want you to know that boy fought me a fair fight. - Well, I'm glad to
hear that, Fauntleroy. - Where's my uncle? Fauntleroy, what
have you been doing? I hope my uncle
didn't bother anybody. - No bother. - I think we'd better
join the ladies before they get curious. Drago. - Fauntleroy, let's line
them all up for a do-si-do. - Jake. You think tincture
of arnica would help? - Could be. Used to help you. - Gentlemen, to the
medicine cabinet. (bodies shuffling
through the door) ♪ (romantic music) - Good morning, Drago. - Morning, baby. - Have you seen Daddy? - Took off early this morning with a scatter gun under
his arm. Went huntin'.
- Oh! ♪ (gunshot) (horse neighing) (hooves trotting) - Morning, Daddy. - Good afternoon. What got you out so early? - There's something I have
to get straight in my mind. - Yeah? What? - Mama. Why'd you and mama stop
living together, daddy? Why'd you separate? Aren't you gonna answer me? - Nope. - It's sort of my
business, I think. - I don't. - Is it another woman? It usually is. - At your age you always
know what's usual. - Is it Mrs. Warren? - Becky...I don't wanna
start laying the law down your first
day back home. but I'll have no more such talk. The first time I ever saw
Mrs. Warren was last week. She has a job here at
which she's very good. And I hope you'll
have the good manners to...not pry into other
people's business... (gunshot) ...Your mother's and mine. - Pretty good shot, daddy. Oh, I can understand
your trouble. Mama's often so,
well, so petulant. - Petulant? You learned a lot of
words back east, Becky. I wish to god they'd have
taught you some meanings. You were only about
six months old when your mother
stayed alone with you in a sod hut under
eight foot of snow while I moved the herd 300
miles south to try and save it. Saved about half of it. You were a little
more than a year old at the time of the
great Comanche raids. We stood off 500 plains
Indians for nine days. Petulant, Becky? I think you'd better go on home. See that Ching gets those birds. Becky. Come here. (horse neighing) (horse neighing) There's something I
ought to tell you. Guess now is as
good a time as any. You're gonna have
every young buck west of the Missouri around
here trying to marry you. Mostly because you're
a handsome filly. But partly because
I own everything in this country
from here to there... and they'll think
you're gonna inherit it. Well, you're not. I'm gonna leave most of it to... Well, to the nation
really...for a park... where no lumberman will cut down all the trees for
houses with leaky roofs. Nobody will kill all the
beaver for hats for dudes... nor murder the
buffalo for robes. What I'm gonna give
you is a 500 cow spread on the upper Green River. Now that may not
seem like much, but it's more than we
had, your mother and I. Some folks are gonna
say I'm doing all this so I can sit up in the hereafter and look down on a
park named after me. Or that I was
disappointed in you. Didn't want you to
get all that money. But the real reason, Becky, is because I love you and I want you and some
young man to have what I had. 'Cause all the gold in
the United States Treasury and all the harp music in
heaven can't equal what happens between a man and a woman with
all that growing together. I can't explain it
any better than that. - All right, daddy. - Becky. When you're as old as I am, you'll thank me for this. - Daddy, I'm full grown. I wasn't worrying about me. I was thinking
about you and mama. ♪ (soft music) (women laughing) (women giggling) - Oh! (women laughing) - Well, sir, all three of them fell right out of the carriage. (women laughing) - Well, it is getting
rather late, Becky. It's bedtime. - Oh mother! He brought this! He must have
intended to use it! - Oh, well...
(sheepishly) - Sing us a song! - Well, if you
really want me to. Gosh, I haven't played in-- - You know "Just Right For Me?" - Sure.
- It's the rage now! - Oh... - Oh...
(laughing softly) - Dev...what're you doing? - Oh! I uh... - Just thought I'd
get another cigar. - But you've got
one in your mouth, and two burning in the tray. And that move... - [Junior] The fellows want
me to play all the time. ♪ (singing) You're
cuter than ♪ a baby steer ♪ And softer than ♪ a mouse's ear ♪ I want the whole
wide world to hear ♪ You're just right for me ♪ You're sweeter than... - Oh no, not that
rhythm, Junior. Do it the way they
do at the Plaza. I know the words. - Sure, Becky, will
you sing with me? - Of course. - All right. ♪ (playing "You're
Just Right For Me") ♪ I love a man who's
witty and smart and clever - It's your move. - Oh! - Oh Dev, you're playing
like an amateur. Let's call it an evening. I'd like to know where
your mind is tonight. ♪ You're sweeter than ♪ The early spring ♪ Or bluebells when... ♪ They start to bloom
- Pretty good! Voice like her father. (singing) ♪ Just right for me. ♪ Sweeter than honey ♪ Finer than wine ♪ I'm sure they found you ♪ On that honeysuckle vine ♪ I would melt ♪ In your embrace ♪ You disappear without a trace ♪ To die like this ♪ Is no disgrace ♪ This is the time ♪ This is the place ♪ For you're ♪ Just right for me (strumming strings) (clapping) - Well... it's so good I kind
of hate to break this up. But if we're gonna have that
Indian hearing tomorrow morning. - Uh sir, about our conversation
earlier this evening... I believe I'd
better apologize. - Yeah? - Yes, sir, I've
been thinking it over and when I called
you a "reactionary", that's merely my generation's
term for your generation. Nothing personal, sir. - Oh, really? - Well, good night, sir. Good night, Mrs. McLintock. - Good night and do come again. - Good night, Drago. - Night. Boss...what's
reactionary mean? - Me, I guess. He says that anyone who
wanted to sell at a profit was a reactionary. - Was we reactionaries
back in them days when you were
selling beef cattle for six cents a
pound on the hoof? - Well... - No use arguing
with him...college boy. - Devlin Warren, if
you was my kind of man you wouldn't let
some dude walk off with the prettiest
girl west of Denver without putting up
some kind of a fight! - Does it show? Well, what can I do? I'm just one of her
father's employees. I'm just a hired
hand around here. - Every so often Dev, you spill the strangest ideas. (horse neighing) Everybody works for somebody. Me, I work for everybody
in these United States that steps into a butcher's
shop for a T-bone steak. And you work for me. There's not much difference. - Daddy, the most terrible
thing just happened! Junior's horse ran away, the one he rented at
the livery stable. - You tied up a rented
horse by the reins? He's probably back
in the stall by now. - I think we can get Junior
something that he can ride. - What I'd rather do, daddy, is drive Junior home
in our barouche. It's a lovely evening and I'm sure Uncle Drago
wouldn't mind driving. - I would and I got the
kind of manners don't keep me from saying
so just to be polite. - I'll drive him
home, Mr. McLintock. You don't have to
come, Miss Becky. I'll see that he
gets home safely. - I can take care of myself. - You got yourself
a foot, didn't you? - Dev, get the carriage
...Drago. - I'm going with them. Now you got me wrangling dudes. (door closing) ♪ (singing) ♪ You make a man
feel like a king ♪ You're just right for me - Miss Becky? Somebody better help
me watch the road. You know I'm new around here. I might take the wrong turnoff. - Devlin Warren,
you know there isn't a turnoff between here and town. ♪ You disappear without a trace ♪ To die like this ♪ Is no disgrace ♪ This is the time (cracking whip) (crack) Heyaa! (hooves galloping
& carriage rattling) - Devlin Warren, what
are you trying to do? Kill us? - Rather have your friend drive? (cracking whip)
- Heyaa! ♪ (dramatic music) (Becky gasping) - Heyaa! ♪ - Daddy? Daddy! I have never been so
humiliated in my entire life. - I said what I said and I'll
stand by it to the death. - Shoot him, daddy,
shoot him at once! - W...why? - My honor is at stake. - Well now your honor? - Absolutely. - He impugned my honor. - Impugned, what does that mean? - Slander. He slandered my honor! - He did? - I said what I said, and I'll stand by
it to the death. - He admits it, see? Shoot him! - What is he admitting to? - Why, he called me a... I won't even repeat the word. - I didn't necessarily
call you anything but I said what I said, and I'll stand by
it to the death. - Well, just for the tally
books what did you say? - I said that any girl who
would permit a man to kiss her before they're formally
engaged is a trollop. - He said it again!
Shoot him! - Now, hold on. - No, don't hold on. If you're my father, if you
love me, you'll shoot him! - Well, I'm your father...
and I sure love you...so! (gun firing)
(tense music) - Oh you shot him! You really shot him! - [Dev] Hey!
- If he dies... - If he dies he'll be
the first man ever killed with a blank cartridge. We use this to start
the races on the 4th. - Hey! I'm on fire here! - Oh you poor dear! - Poor dear?! You'd a had me
shot in cold blood! - But it didn't happen. - Yelling I insulted
you and all, what you need is
a good spanking! - Dev...daddy! - Leave me out of this. - I think I'll give
you what you deserve! - You wouldn't dare. - Oh, wouldn't I? You'll think next time before
you have someone shot... and this kicking and
yelling ain't gonna help. (Becky screaming
and yelling) Devlin Warren, I hate you! Mommy...mommy! - GW, was that a shot?! ♪ (dramatic music) (pouting loudly) ♪ (dramatic music) (pouting loudly) - Becky, what happened? - He spanked me! - You spanked my daughter? - Dev. - You mean, you stood there while that brute
beat our daughter? G.W., what's happened
to you in the last three... - Better part of valor, son. - Isn't it enough that you've
always treated me like a squaw without subjecting dear sweet
Becky to this crude, vulgar - Katherine, you
women are always raising hell about one thing when it's something else
you're really sore about. Don't you think it's
about time you told me what put the burr under
your saddle about ME? - I don't intend to stand here and hold a midnight conversation with an intoxicated man. ♪ - And I am not intoxicated! (door slams) Yet! (hooves trotting) - Hello, Governor. - Hello, Governor. (hooves trotting
& carriage rattling) (crowd noises) - Chief Puma.
- Yes, Sergeant. Big McLintock...we know
you'll get us fair judgment. - You gentlemen, follow me. - Well, Jake? - GW. - Well, GW, it's
been a long time! - Not long enough
...Cuthbert. - Your husband
is a rude man! - Yes, Cuthbert, I know. (whack) - Where do you want the
Indians, Mr. McLintock? - Mr. McLintock is not
running this hearing. - Sergeant, seat those Indians. - Yes, sir. Gentlemen, be seated. You know, their whole tribe
here wanted to come into town. - Proceed, Lieutenant. (gavel banging) - This hearing is
now in session. Governor Cuthbert
Humphrey is presiding. - Good luck, Daddy. - I'm afraid it's
a packed court. - Government Edict number 826 has ordered that the Comanche
nation be transferred from their present
reservation to Fort Sill. It is the government's claim
as filed by Indian agent Agard that these chiefs
after being released from prison by a
kindly government did then rouse and
incite defiance among the tribe
against said order. It seems, gentlemen,
that although some of these
chiefs speak English- Chief Puma is quite at
home in our language -they have chosen Mr. McLintock
to be their spokesman. - I speak for the Comanche, or rather I offer
this translation. - Proceed, Mr. McLintock. - The Comanches say: "We are an old people,
and a proud people. When the white man
first came among us we were as many as the
grasses of the prairie. Now we are few...but
we are still proud. For if a man loses pride
in manhood he is nothing. You tell us now that if we
will let you send us away to this place called Fort Sill, you will feed us
and care for us. Let us tell you this. It is a Comanche law
that no chief ever eats unless first he sees that
the pots are full of meat in the lodges of the
widows and orphans. It is the Comanche way of life. This that the white
man calls charity is a fine thing for
widows and orphans, but no warrior can accept it, for if he does he
is no longer a man and when he is no longer
a man he is nothing... and better off dead. You say to the Comanche
'you are widows and orphans.' 'You are not men.' And we the Comanche say
we would rather be dead. It will not be a remembered
fight when you kill us because we are few now
and have few weapons. But we will fight...and
we will die Comanche. - Thank you, Big McLintock. - Am I to gather the Comanche defy the government
of the United States? - Yes, you may gather
that the Comanche defy the United
States government. Or at least this commission. - Gentlemen. (whispering) (bang) It is the order of this court that these chiefs
be incarcerated until such time as
the detachment of United States Cavalry be
made available to escort them and the Comanche
nation to Fort Sill. (bang) This court is adjourned. - Oh McLintock! You are important chief
amongst these white people. Sway them. Have them give us a few guns to make the fight worthwhile. Let us have one last remembered
fight before end of Comanche. - I almost wish I could
arrange that, Puma. (speaking Comanche) (speaking Comanche) - Sergeant.
- Yes sir. Left guard, carry on. Gentlemen. (crowd murmuring) - It's sad these changing times. - It isn't the times
that are changing, mama. (spirited singing
and drum beating)) - Hey, GW.
- Hello, Lem. ♪ (saloon music in distance)
(crowd chattering) Bunny? - Oh...howdy, McLintock! Figured you'd be belly
down drunk by now. - I've been doing some
thinkin' drinkin', Bunny. Is that box car
still on the siding? - Well, sure but... - But what? - Well I don't like it. - You don't, eh? - You figure if them
Indians get out of there and lead the Cavalry on
a wild goose chase that great white
father's gonna get nosy. - Get nosy and
he'll investigate. And when they find
out how that side saddled governor's
been messing things up, they'll give those
Indians a fair trial. - But that's live
ammunition in that boxcar. You know what'll
happen if them Indians get some guns in their hands? Somebody's gonna get hurt. - Is Puma's word
good enough for you? - Well, I don't... McLintock, you got
yourself a partner. - Leave me out of this. - Hey, McLintock? - Good night, Bunny. Good night, Governor. (laughing)
-...Governer... ♪ (drunk singing)
Where is the Katie ♪ with her light red hair ♪ Sweet as the roses ♪ on the summer air ♪ I'll find her somewhere ♪ while the moon is high ♪ And tell her that I love her
(horse neighing) ♪ And I'll love her 'till I die! Katie! Katie Gilhooly! The master's home, Katie! Katie! Katherine Gilhooly McLintock. Where is the woman of the house? - Umm, Mr. McLintock? - Oh there you... Mrs. Warren! Oh good evening! - I waited up for
you, Mr. McLintock. - Oh, how nice. - I wanna talk to
you about something. - Delighted, delighted. 309 times straight. - I beg your pardon? - 309 times straight
without a miss. Gotta be a record! - I suppose so. Now, Mr. McLintock,
what I wanted to say... - Two-pound Stetson
with a six-inch brim 53 feet in the air...
it's gotta be a record. - I'm sure it is but the
reason I waited up... - Dagnammit, woman can't
you hold that glass still? - Of course, sir. - Now... - Down the hatch
to my world's record. Down the hatch! - Yes, sir! ♪ - Now...to the governor
of our territory. - The governor of
the territory, sir. - Now, don't you stick
up for him, Mrs. Warren. You're a fine
woman, Mrs. Warren. But you'll certainly go
down in my estimation if you stick up for
Cuthbert H. Humphrey, governor of this territory. - I don't mean to change...
- Down the hatch. (Mrs. Warren grimaces) - Yes, sir...down the hatch. ♪ - Cuthbert H. Humphrey,
governor of our territory, is a cull. Do you know what
a cull is, ma'am? A cull is a specimen
that is soooo worthless, that you have to cut
him out of the herd. Now, if all the people in the
world were put in one herd Cuthbert is the one I
would throw my rope at... at whom...I would
throw my rope at. Natural-born cull. Another touch, ma'am? - Oh no, sir, no! Well...I don't
mind if I do! - Good. Can't walk on one leg... Oh...I didn't mean to
be vulgar ma'am... Can't walk on one LIMB. - It's all right. - It sounds silly, only a
bird can walk on a limb. You know my wife?
Her name's Kate. She insists on being
called Katherine. Do you know her? - Of course, Mr. McLintock
and that's what I wanted... - Well, she thinks that
Cuthbert H. Humphrey is panting for her
like a bull buffalo at the first green
up of spring. But what Cuthbert is
panting for is my money. Don't make me feel like
I'm drinking alone, ma'am. - Very well, Mr.
McLintock, if you insist. Down the hatch! (glasses clinking) - Good! ♪ - Mr. McLintock... I have something very
important to say to you. Very important! (giggling) I guess it'll have to
wait until the morning! Toodles! It's all right,
it's all right. Beddy bye-bye. (crunch) ♪ Whoops!
Ooop! - Mrs. Warren! (Mrs. Warren giggling) Let me assist you. - Very kind. ♪ (giggling) - Oooop...ooooop...oooop! - Whaaaaaaaa! (tumbling down stairs) (giggling) - Whoops!
(giggling) - What's going on here?! - Now, Katherine, are you
going to believe what you see? Or what I tell you? (seething) - Uh...
(nervous laugh) - Mrs. McLintock...hope
you won't misunderstand. (scoffing) - It's the first 100
women sitting on his lap that I misunderstood.
#101 is quite simple. Now, GW McLintock!
I have something... He's gone to sleep. Just when I know exactly
what I want to say to him he goes to sleep. - I waited up to
talk to Mr.....McLintock I wanted to tell
him I was quitting. You see, Sheriff Lord has
asked me to marry him, and... - Oh congratulations! I don't want to seem prudish, but if you are going
to marry Sheriff Lord it seems to me that you're
sitting on the wrong man's lap. (both laughing) - Come on I'll help you upstairs and we'll have a long
talk about men in general. - Ladies! One moment! (clumsy footsteps
up stairs) Whoa, whoa
whoooaaaaa! - Watch out you'll
get us all killed! Whooaaaa!
(ladies scream) (tumbling down stairs) - Wait a minute, ladies,
'till I catch my breath and I'll get you up those
stairs as sure as my name is George Washington
McLin...(whack) tooooooock! (thud) (smash) ♪ - You may be
quitting, Mrs. Wallace. - Mrs. Warren. - But not tomorrow. I want my breakfast in bed.
I want... - I know, toast,
lightly browned... - Somebody sure put
a knob on my skull. - It was Katie...
I was peeking. - Katie why? - Mrs. Warren was there... - Ohhhhh!
- and there you was there... and that whiskey
bottle was there... and Katie's temper being
what Katie's temper is well, there you are. - Drago, old friend.. My wife does not
understand me. - Why should she be any
different than the others? Come on, I gotta
get you upstairs. Get you ready for that
big celebration tomorrow. - Watch it! Aaaaaah!
- Whoaaaaa! (tumbling down stairs) - Drago... I am sleeping
in the den! ♪ (lively band music)
(crowd noises) (fuse hissing) (loud bangs) (donkey braying) (children laughing) - Hooligans! Ain't you got
no respect for your elders? (firecrackers popping) (children chanting)
Bunny lost his temper! Bunny lost his temper! Bunny lost his temper! Bunny lost his temper! - Scallywags! Villains! Hope you get the measles! (horse neighing) - Whoooaaaa!
(stall banging) - Come on get
him aboard! Is everybody ready? - The man at number
five needs a flag set. - Get him one. Let us know when you're ready. - Ladies and gentlemen! It is my honor to
present to you the governor of our territory (crowd applauding)
Cuthbert H. Humphrey. - Thank you mayor. My friends and citizens
of this great territory, this is the ninth
consecutive year it has been my privilege and
my pleasure to inaugurate the McLintock Fourth
of July celebration. Now, the first event will
be the wild horse race. But before I fire this
shot to start the event, I would like to say
a few modest words regarding my stewardship
of this great territory. (fuse hissing) (loud bang) ♪ (western rodeo music)
(crowd cheering) (crowd applauding
& cheering) - Waaaahooooo! (hooves galloping) - All right, Professor Birnbaum. - Gentlemen... ♪ (band strikes up) - Sheriff, there's your horse. - Come on, get
them all lined up. Come here, Ching. Now, boys, you all
know the rules. It's twice around the inside and once around the outside. The first cowboy that
hits that finish line without busting that
egg is the winner. And, I caution you boys
about some of them eggs 'cause some of them eggs
are last year's holdovers. All right, mount up. (blank gun firing) ♪ (band playing
& crowd cheering) (crowd cheering and
hooves pounding) - Katherine, my dear you
seem to be enjoying yourself. - Oh yes...
this is wonderful! It's the only thing I
really do enjoy about this barbaric country - the
Fourth of July celebration. (horse hooves pounding
and band playing) - Well Katherine, I've been
here for three days. I haven't heard from you. Is anything wrong? - Wrong? - I just hope that it
hasn't been necessary for you to say anything to GW. - What are you talking about? - Katherine, you see I'm in
a rather delicate position being governor of the
territory and all. I just hope you haven't
found it necessary to say anything about... - About what? - About you and me. (laughing) - Why, you pompous windbag. Do you think that
you're the only man who's ever tried to play
patty fingers with me, who's ever tried to lure
me into the moonlight? - Well, no, but I... - Well, I'm a big girl and
I can take care of myself! My husband knows it. I can assure you, governor that your reputation
is untarnished. Now, get out of my way! (crowd cheering) (hooves pounding) (splat) (crowd laughing) (crowd cheering) - Folks, we got
ourselves a winner! Curly Fletcher! - Fine old job, Curly. - Give me the egg. Disqualified! (crowd laughing) - Here you go, Curly. - GW, you'll never believe
what happened over... - What? - Phew! You smell of beer! - Well, naturally.
I'm drinking beer! - Ladies and gentlemen, the next event will be a contest between the two bronco-busting
champions of our territory. - Remember the year
I rode in that event? I wore your garters
to hold up my sleeves. We had a bet and I won it. (crowd laughing) - George Washington McLintock,
you are a very crude man! - Well, I guess so but
that was a rough horse, liked to have jarred
my insides loose. But it was worth it! (scoffing) (crowd laughing) Three beers! (crowd cheering) ♪ (tense, dramatic music) (door sliding open) (crash) ♪ (dramatic music) - One, two, three, go! ♪ (lively music
& crowd cheering) - Come one, Dev,
pull it, pull it. ♪ (cheering) (crowd grimacing) ♪ Dev, are you all right? - I guess so. Nothing busted but my pride. - Well that ought to even
things up, farmer. - For what? - For that sore nose you
gave me the other day. - Well, that ain't
what's sore on him! (crowd laughing) (train whistling) (Comanches whooping
and hollering) The closing event is
the cow pony race. The finish line is at the
barbecue, so start meandering! Come on. - Now what is
that, false courage? Why, you know a Douglas doesn't
ever use a thing like that! I want you to get on that horse, get out in front and
STAY out in front! - I'll be out front, Dad. All the way. - Awwww, good boy! Now, remember stay out in front! That Agamemnon's a good horse! - Whoa, Agamemnon. (train rumbling) (train whistle blaring) - 11:40 and she's on time. - Whoa! (train whistle blaring) (horses bustling)
(train whistle blaring) ♪ (dramatic music)
(men yelling) - Whoaaaaaa! (crowd yelling) - Come on, boy whoa! (train whistle blaring)
♪ (dramatic music) ♪ (gunshots) ♪ (gunshots) ♪ (loud explosion) ♪ (dramatic music) ♪ (gunshots) (Comanche battle cries) ♪ (dramatic music) ♪ (dramatic music)
(yelling in Comanche) ♪ (gunshots) (glass exploding) - Ooooh McLin...big party
...where's the whiskey? ♪ (gunshots) - Whose idea was this stunt? - Duck, doggone it
them are real bullets! (gunshots) (liquid trickling) ♪ (chaos and
stampeding horses) (gunfire & commotion) ♪ (Cavalry bugle call) ♪ (triumphant music) (hooves pounding)
♪ (triumphant music) ♪ (triumphant music) ♪ (hooves pounding) ♪ (hooves pounding)
(Cavalry bugle) - I reckon that's
about all the excitement you'd want for
one 4th of July, eh? - Puma finally got his way. But I reckon he's riding
out his last war party. - They won't get very far. - But one thing
still has me puzzled! Where did they get the guns? - I was wondering
the same thing. - My kidney's been bothering me. - Bunny? - GW! Pssst! (GW laughing hard) What an idiotic joke! - Joke? You think
that was a joke? - Well, shut up! Do you want everybody
in town to see me? - You look good in feathers.
(pouting loudly) (hay rustling) - Dev, I think
they've gone! - Yeah! - What are you going
to do about it? - What can I do? - NOTHING! Just like you've ALWAYS done. (pouting) (loud, brisk footsteps) - How long, GW? - How long what?
- Katherine. - She's been riding herd
on you for two years now! - I'm a peaceable man, but
my father used to say "You raise your voice,
it doesn't do any good... It's time to raise your hand." - Well, I've been planning
to do something about it. I'll... I'll have another
talk with her. - Talk to her? Talk to her?! Talking won't do any good! - Becky, have you
seen your moth... What's been happening
around here? You've got hay all over you. - Been some mighty
sneaky goings on here during that raid, Mr. McLintock. - Who was it said only a
trollop would kiss a man before they were
formally engaged? - Oh but we are engaged, sir. - You are? - That is with your permission. Well, you've got it. Oh, Mrs. Warren? - I think it's wonderful! - I guess this is
the only engagement that ever started
off of a spanking. (laughter) - I reckon Birnbaum was right. - All right. - Lord bless us this IS
gonna be a great day! - Doggone it, folks! Let's don't let a
little old Indian raid break up a good
barbecue and a rodeo! (crowd cheering) The meat's on!
Let's go! - You contestants get ready
for the cow pony race. (crowd cheering) (loud knocking) - Who is it? - It's me, let me in! - Not now. (door crashing open)
- Right now! - Are you insane? - I wanna to talk to you. (tense music)
- It'll have to wait. (table crashing over) (Katherine screaming)
GW!! - I've taken all I'm gonna take from you. - You are insane! - You're going to tell
me why you packed up, picked up, and walked out on me. - Two years ago, you remember, YOU came home from Denver with lipstick all over your... (banister cracking)
(Katherine screams) (Katherine screams) (crowd laughing)
(hay rustling) - Lipstick on my collar. (plop) - I've got the
shirt to prove it. - Who cares? - Why, you big! (Katherine screams) ♪ (hooves pounding) (crowd laughing) - Katherine! (crowd laughing) GW, you are a ruffian! - Cuthbert, you are right. ♪ - Well, what kind
of a family is that? (smack) - The best! - Hand's dangerous, fella! - Well what happened? Who won the race? - Who cares, Agard? History's being made! ♪
(amused crowd noises) - Yes, Rufus? - I regret to inform you I've changed my mind
about matrimony. Rufus! ♪
(amused crowd noises) (cloth tearing) - Hey! - Mrs. McLintock! ♪
(amused crowd noises) - Katherine...
KATHERINE! - Keep 'em out of here. (splat)
- Everybody out! (splat) ♪ (dramatic music) (crash) ♪ (dramatic music) (bucket clattering) (loud crash) - Looks like GW is
buying out the whole store! - I'm afraid you're right! (loud crash) - Call me family! Call me family! (loud thump) ♪ - GW! ♪ (Katherine screaming) - GW! GW! (crowd laughing) GW! Aaaaaa! (screaming) (splash) - Mrs. McLintock,
you're all wet. - Am I? (splash) (crowd laughing
& marveling) - Wrong woman, GW. - Oh, pardon me. ♪ (goofy dramatic music) (doors bursting open) - Mrs. McLintock! You
setting a new style? (gasping) ♪
(amused crowd noises) - Shhhhhh! (crowd bustling by) (breathing sigh
of relief) (yelling)
- Mr. McLintock...in here! ♪ (dramatic chase music) (window breaking) ♪
(amused crowd noises) - If I ever get through
this humiliation, you'll rue the day
you ever met me. - Bellyache and
fight all you want, it won't do you any good! You've been digging those
spurs into me for two years! Now you're gonna get
your comeuppance! Thanks! (Katherine screaming) - My father would
be proud of you! - I'll make him prouder! (Katherine screaming
& carrying on) (carriage rattling) - Stop it!
(screaming) (growling loudly) - Keep it...you
may need it! Now get your divorce. Home...and don't
spare the horse. - Home, are you...?
- You heard me! - Don't think you're gonna
get rid of me that easy! - Heyaa! - Heyaa!
♪ (triumphant music) ♪ (triumphant music) (crowd cheering)
♪ (triumphant music) ♪ (triumphant music) ♪ (crowd cheering) - No more living
in the capital? - No.
- No more Newport in season? - Nope. - No more dancing
at the governor's ball? - No, GW. - Happy days! (Katherine voiceover)
- 310 times without a miss... that's a record! ♪ (dramatic music)
