MBerryPSA March2019

all right let's see who's next um all right up next we have michael barry performing and we're giving you guys a public service announcement [Applause] hello good evening ladies and gentlemen i hope you've been enjoying the variety show so far because i know i haven't now if you're like me and i sure hope you aren't you probably have a lot of problems in your life maybe weight issues dieting paying bills really operating on a daily basis and i understand that it can be very difficult to live life and for a lot of people you've probably taken some sort of proactive measure to improve your life like dieting or trying to lose weight or trying to i don't know have an actual good job but i'm here to tell you that you've been doing it wrong your entire life i don't care what you've been doing but you've been doing it wrong i'm here to say that whatever you've been doing to improve your life has been completely pointless because i have the thing that will fix your life [Applause] are you ready [Applause] because i'm about to unveil a one-step program that will solve every single issue that you have in your life and it's called give me all of your [Applause] money now i know this sounds ridiculous give me out of your all your money how's that going to solve my life well it's very simple giving me all of your money can solve so many problems you don't even know guys all right so let's say you have problems dieting maybe you just can't stop eating i don't know well look giving me all your money will solve that problem because you literally won't be able to afford food maybe you've got issues paying bills like i said earlier well not anymore your house might get foreclosed upon but you won't have to worry anymore now those are just two simple definitions but the truth is that there are very many benefits to giving me all your money i bet you've been wondering what this suitcase on the floor has been doing here this whole time well actually within this suitcase lies an extensive list of every single reason why you should give me all of your money so let's just open this up real quick all right all right so let's just let's just start reading this all right so number one depression vomiting nausea exploit okay this is this is the side effects you can probably assume what side effects there are so let's just flip to the other side all right problems that will be solved if you give me all of your money number one nepotism well look we could never trust pieces of paper anyway well anyways to close things out i'm sure there are some of you yelling at me right now but michael i don't have any money well that's no excuse is there anything that you in your life that you value in the slightest family heirlooms pieces of technology gold diamonds whatever hand it over you don't need it anymore but i do now i'm sure there are some of you in the audience screaming at me right now but markle i don't have any money or any personal belongings well that's no excuse do you have any internal organs you would like to share how many kidneys do you really need i mean come on folks and i know there are some of you out there screaming at me at the top of your lungs but mikkel i have spent all of my money i no longer have any family anything that is of value to me and i and i can't lose any more kidneys well listen you're probably participating in my program right now anyway so just keep doing what you're doing [Applause] well anyways to close out my acts tonight thanks guys you've been a wonderful audience see you later you

Channel: Mark Berry

Views: 168

Rating: 4 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: U8sRMtqiU3w

Length: 5min 27sec (327 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 01 2020