- Your topic is interracial relationship. (audience exclaiming)
(rap beat music) ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Matt you so fine ♪ ♪ Why you so fine ♪ ♪ Come here, white boy ♪ ♪ And please be mine ♪
(audience cheering) ♪ Lemme be yours ♪ ♪ Don't make me flutter ♪ ♪ You smell like roses ♪ ♪ And cocoa butter ♪ ♪ Yeah, cocoa butter ♪ ♪ I don't play, doh ♪ ♪ Boy, let me spread this ♪ ♪ Just like mayo ♪
(audience cheering) - I'm gonna go smash. ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ (bell dinging) ♪ Pick up and kill and
kill it and kill it ♪ - All right, you're word is hat. ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ I spit these raps ♪ ♪ And you know I'm gonna kill it ♪ ♪ I'm like a hat ♪ ♪ 'Cause I always stay fitted ♪
(audience oohing) ♪ I don't wear hats ♪ ♪ And yeah that's not my swag ♪ ♪ Chance got 10 of those ♪ ♪ In the same bag ♪
(audience laughing) ♪ He got 10 of those ♪ ♪ And it's okay ♪ ♪ When Matt's 'cause it's, oh ♪ Oh, ****!
(bell dinging) - I won a rap battle!
(audience cheering) ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ (audience applauding) (audience cheering) - Hailey Clauson, gosh,
she is so beautiful. I mean, I'm single now, so, I mean I was gonna try to holler at you, but I don't know if you have a problem with dating black dudes, so, I want you to see what I look like on the inside. (audience laughing) Can we go out now?
(buzzer blaring) Okay, okay, that's it. - (laughing) That sucks! (audience laughing) (audience cheering)
(audience applauding) - Big Mack, you left your neck beard. (audience laughing) Doja, I heard you date white dudes, so the longer you keep
that water in your mouth the more clothes I'm gonna take off. (audience wooing) (audience cheering) (bell dinging)
(audience cheering) (all applauding)
(audience cheering) (shoes squeaking) - Hey Zendaya, I'm Nick Cannon and, nah, (beep) that, I'm Matt mother-(beep) Rife, all right. (audience cheering) Look, you're mixed, I wanna be black, Let's make a Lifestyle movie.
(audience laughing) Spit that water out so I can get your number, please! (audience laughing) - He can't do that!
- He can't! - You can't touch-
- I can't? - I didn't touch her!
- Back up! (audience laughing) - She can handle herself!
(buzzer blaring) - Keep your hands off her, man! - Don't be touching on her like that! - She too young!
(audience laughing) - She's 18, he's 19! - So, he got acne and
his fingernails dirty. (audience laughing) (bell dinging) (audience cheering) ♪ Let me introduce you ♪
(audience clapping) ♪ This is my brother ♪ ♪ And he's never on time ♪ ♪ The only reason she's with him ♪ ♪ 'Cause he's got Drake's hairline ♪ ♪ At the family reunion ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dinging) ♪ Who we introducing ♪
(audience clapping continues) ♪ Who we introducing ♪ ♪ This my aunt and uncle ♪ ♪ And they drove here from Aurora ♪ ♪ After years of trying to smash ♪ ♪ Urkel finally got Laura ♪
(audience laughing) ♪ At the family reunion ♪
(bell dinging) ♪ Who we introducing ♪ - [Matt] I'm sorry, I apologize, I shouldn't have said that.
(Nick laughing) ♪ Who we introducing ♪ ♪ This is my family ♪ ♪ That's the truth and it's a fact ♪ ♪ Justina, we're your family ♪ ♪ You are white, not black ♪ ♪ At the family reunion ♪
(bell dinging) ♪ Who we introducing ♪ - [Justina] I'm Italian,
that's not really white. (audience cheering) - Right.
(rap beat music) ♪ It can get messy ♪ ♪ If we go another round ♪ ♪ If we get to work ♪ ♪ I'm gonna put a tarp down ♪ ♪ I'm good with my hands ♪ ♪ Ask these folks ♪ ♪ Come back to my place ♪ ♪ Let's work on them strokes ♪ (audience exclaiming) - I have no idea.
(audience laughing) (buzzer blaring) - I'm a painter, I'm a painter. (audience cheering)
(audience applauding) - I now knight you the most (beep) white boy in the building! (audience cheering)
(bell dinging) - Hey Tiger, your wife
found your other phone! (all laughing)
(buzzer blaring) - That was funny!
(audience applauding) - Next coming to the Chippendale stage, It's Fireman Rife!
(audience cheering) ♪ Do-do-do, do-do ♪ ♪ Do-do-do, do-do ♪ ♪ Do-do-do, do-do ♪
(audience cheering) ♪ Do-do-do, do-do ♪
(bell dinging) (audience cheering)
(audience applauding) - Whatever we gotta do to get the W, I'm with it! - [DJ D-Wrek] "Words Black
People Can't Pronounce." (audience applauding) - Hey!
- Oh, oh my God! - Man, what the (beep)-
- What is- - Go ahead, let him go, let him go! Let him go!
(button ringing) (audience laughing) Let him go!
- Go ahead, man. - Let him go, I'll knock your (beep)-
- Go ahead. - Say it!
(audience laughing) (button ringing) - What is, "Yeah, I'm the dad." (audience exclaiming)
(audience applauding) - Yeah, that was cool!
(bell dinging) (audience cheering) I like that one!
(all laughing) I like that one, that's cool! That's cool.
(audience applauding) - Let's get to it, "How To Score A Date When You're Broke." - Oh, I'm gonna do that.
(button ringing) Yo, I know this bomb-ass vending machine, it's right on the corner,
(audience laughing) right by the Red Box.
(bell dinging) - "Ways To Hide From The Feds." - Okay, you got it,
(button ringing) all right. (audience laughing)
(bell dinging) (Nick laughing) - [Nick] Claim To Fame.
(audience exclaiming) - (throat clearing) When
sinners go to church! - Hey!
(audience laughing) There it is!
(bell dinging) (audience applauding) (hands clapping) - When the whole crew get baptized! (audience cheering)
(bell dinging) - B', B'!
(all applauding) (audience exclaiming) - No!
- You can't, no! (audience exclaiming)
(audience applauding) - Don't do that, no!
- Get off! - No, no!
(crew shouting) (audience laughing)
(audience applauding) - Yeah, you got that right! (audience laughing) - Stop, stop!
(Matt murmuring) Stop, God ******! - This is Martin Luther the king! (laughing) I can't come
to the phone right now, I can't come to the phone right now 'cause I'm busy having a dream that someday some white boy that looked like Vanilla Ice will do an impression of me on TV. (audience laughing)
(bell dinging) (audience cheering)
(all applauding) (audience cheering)
(rap beat music) - All right, your word is amphibian. - All right, I got it, I got it, yeah. ♪ I'm a earthquake ♪ ♪ I cave your whole village in ♪ ♪ I switch it up like my man, Vivian ♪ ♪ I take all of your (beep) ♪ ♪ I'm pillaging ♪ ♪ DC has the face of an amphibian ♪ (audience cheering)
(bell dinging) - I'll do some Godzilla things, bro! I'll do some Godzilla things!
- Yeah, yeah, go! - Wait, wait, wait, wait! (audience cheering)
(bell dinging) (audience cheering)
(audience applauding) - How are you? Hello, I just wanted to say I think you're real beautiful.
- Thank you. - Like really real, beautiful and myself, my, castmates-
- Mm-hm. - And I know every dude in here would really like to know how much of that booty is really real? (audience exclaiming) - (laughing) Y'all wanna know? These guys over here?
- Oh, oh. - Yes, yes, yes, yes.
(audience laughing) - All right, I'm gonna put you up on game. It's real in your hands, but y'all don't need to
be worrying about booty that's above your weight class. (audience wooing)
(audience applauding) - [DC] I ain't gonna do that! - [Nick] Let's go, let's go! (audience cheering)
(audience applauding) - T.I., man, what's going on? - How you feeling, you good? - Don't try to be my
friend, random white man. (audience laughing) - Noted. You gotta a grind won't stop, hustle won't quit and an acting career
that wishes you would. - [Nick] Ooh.
(audience exclaiming) - Um, no, but I'm a huge fan-
- Nick is over there. (all laughing)
(audience applauding) - I just wanted to know, you consider yourself
like a real G, right? You're from Atlanta, you consider yourself like a real G? - What is that?
(audience laughing) - It's, like,- - I seen one of them on the movies. - It's like right after H, I, J, it's like right before H, I think- - You ain't never been to school have you, random white man? - I tried-
(audience laughing) - You been chopping wood, chasing squirrels all your life, haven't you?
(audience laughing) You ain't do it nothing
but your hair all day, huh? (audience laughing) - Chill out, chill out.
- Why is he so mean, yo? - Chill out, man! You don't need to-
- Why is he so mean? - It's okay, it's okay,
(audience applauding) c'mon, man.
(audience cheering) - (Beep) you!
(audience cheering) - I'm not good with beats,
(R&B beat music) hold on.
(audience laughing) All right. ♪ He from outer space ♪ ♪ And that (beep) does amaze me ♪ ♪ His hands light up ♪ ♪ But my finger game is crazy ♪
(audience exclaiming) ♪ When this came out ♪ ♪ It was the movie of the year ♪ ♪ If you need me ♪ ♪ I'll be right here ♪
(audience wooing) - E.T.
- It is! (bell dinging)
(audience cheering) My dude Chance is so fly- - [Audience] How fly is he? - He wears a three on his hat 'cause he knew exactly
how many Grammys he'd win. (audience cheering)
(bell dinging) - [Chance] Pretty fly. - My girl Tammy is so petty. - [Audience] How petty is she? - I sent her my nudes and she responded with, "So, what did you do today?" (audience laughing)
(buzzer blaring) - [Nick] There you go. - I mean it's not all that, but I do what I can with it. - Okay Matt, who you
got over there with you? - Oh my word, I can't believe my eyes. Charlie Clips, I know you are a huge fan, this is such a sweet, sweet treat, you've seen her ads all over the mall, please give it up for
the Cinnabon mascots! (audience laughing)
(bell dinging) Oh, my God! (audience applauding) - "And the winner is Justin Bieber." (audience exclaiming) - [Nick] Obviously. (audience laughing)
(audience cheering) - Here's good, here's good, here's good. Wow, I, (laughing) I
don't know what to say, I can't believe, I, Justin Bieber am accepting the NAACP Award. (audience laughing)
(audience applauding) I mean I've earned it, right, like, I've worked really hard to become the blackest dude from Canada ever. (audience laughing) I just wanna give a shout
out to God, of course, my crew and my Calvins
(audience laughing) and of course my rock, the person who holds me down every night when I go to bed, (lips smooching) Usher. (audience cheering)
(bell dinging) (audience applauding) - Hold on, let me get your brethren, come here.
(audience exclaiming) Hello Mattie. Oh, here we go, okay, lemme catch the beat.
(rap beat music) ♪ Five, six, seven, eight ♪ ♪ Hey yo, Matt, I like your look ♪ ♪ I think you got a promotion ♪ ♪ You went from broke Justin Bieber ♪ ♪ To white Frank Ocean ♪ (audience laughing)
(bell dinging) Ah!
- Okay, all right. ♪ You're gay from Chicago ♪ ♪ Yeah, everybody knows ♪ ♪ You're from the Windy City ♪ ♪ 'Cause all you do is blows ♪
(audience oohing) Guys.
(bell dinging) - Facts.
(audience laughing) Okay wait, okay, here we go. All right, okay, I got you, I got you, I got you.
- Okay, you got him. - Go on, work.
- Here we go! ♪ Five, six, seven, eight ♪ ♪ Hey yo, you think you fly ♪ ♪ Yo, I got, I need a new toy ♪ ♪ So like DC say ♪ ♪ Bring that *** here, boy ♪ - Oh!
(audience exclaiming) (bell dinging) (audience cheering)
(audience applauding) - Charron! - White on white violence!
(audience laughing) - All right, okay! You're the better rapper and I'm no disputer, but I'm gonna beat your *** if you don't fix my computer! (audience laughing)
(bell dinging) - I mean, fixing computers but your girl caught a back shot, as soon as I put it in her Apple 'cause you know she gave me laptop, (audience oohing)
(bell dinging) 'cause I ain't even knowing and right now I, right now I be rapping fresh, this is white on white crime, I'm cashing checks, you look like Macklemore became Mackleless. (audience exclaiming)
(bell dinging) - [DJ D-Wrek] Get it!
(rap beat music) - All right, DC. ♪ We can just do this ♪ ♪ I don't need a buildup ♪ ♪ Why you look like the bad guy ♪ ♪ From "Captain Phillips" ♪ - Oh!
- Oh, oh! (audience exclaiming)
(bell dinging) - This ain't right!
- I am, I'm right! - First of all, first of all, uh, check this out! ♪ Look, I never seen that show ♪ ♪ And no cop out ♪ ♪ No cop, y'all ♪ ♪ Before this show ♪ ♪ Your whole family ♪ ♪ I would've robbed y'all ♪ (audience laughing)
(bell dinging) ♪ Roy's on the black squad ♪ ♪ No matter what ♪ ♪ I think the scar on your face ♪ ♪ Is from Nick Cannon's nuts ♪ (audience oohing)
(bell dinging) (audience laughing) ♪ I ain't cool ♪ ♪ Sure ain't your friend ♪ ♪ Your family's so sweet ♪ ♪ I robbed y'all again ♪ (audience laughing)
(bell dinging) ♪ Why don't you try and throw shots, man ♪ ♪ I'm not going duck ♪ ♪ 'Cause at the end of the day ♪ ♪ I'm still cute as (beep) ♪ (audience laughing)
(audience applauding) - I don't know what to do with that one, I don't know what to do with that one. (bell dinging) - Aight, I gotta get him for that one. ♪ When you talk about looks ♪ ♪ You way out of place ♪ ♪ 'Cause you don't wanna go to jail ♪ ♪ With that little pretty *** face ♪ (audience laughing)
(bell dinging) ♪ You're only on this show ♪ ♪ 'Cause Nick thinks you're funny ♪ ♪ You're only other chance of fame ♪ ♪ Is being Precious' understudy ♪ (audience exclaiming)
(bell dinging) - [Nick] Woo!
(audience laughing) - [Matt] DC?
(rap beat music) - You on D, go ahead, do your thing there, player. ♪ Man, you're really dark ♪ ♪ And skinny all the time ♪ ♪ Why you look like the dude ♪ ♪ On every crosswalk sign ♪ (Nick laughing)
(audience laughing) (bell dinging) - You laughing a little too hard with your big head there!
(audience laughing) - DC. (laughing) DC's so mad, boy take a vacation, this is Season 15, gentrification.
- There it is! (audience laughing)
(bell dinging) - Hold up, hold up! Hold up! Hold up!
- We love white people. - Matt, I know you ain't talking, let's go ahead and set this thing clear, (beep) your *** got fired, what the (beep) are you doing here? (audience laughing)
(bell dinging) - Okay, all right-
- Ooh-ooh! - Okay, okay.
(audience laughing) You think I got fired but that ain't legit, like Royce's barber, I said, "I quit!" (audience laughing)
(bell dinging) - Well, (laughing) he said he quit, (laughing) that sound kinda funny, the (beep) back, I guess he needed more money!
(audience laughing) - Okay, one more!
(bell dinging) One more, one more,
(audience applauding) one more, one more! Okay, one more, all right!
(audience applauding) You said-
- Ah! (screaming) Ding, ding, ding, ding-ding! - No, no, no!
- Ding ding! (laughing) - No, no, no! You say, you say I need money, maybe that's true, (laughing) but at least I didn't do "How High 2"! (laughing) (audience laughing)
(bell dinging) - [DC] Ding ding!
(audience laughing) - Why you calling out my white brother getting fired? Yeah, that's something we could tell, he got fired from "Wild 'N Out", ain't as bad as getting fired from "TRL"! - Ooh-ooh, ooh!
(audience laughing) (audience applauding)
(bell dinging) - Wait a minute! (Beep), wait a minute!
- Hold on, wait a minute. - This (beep) right here finna hurt.
- Uh-huh. - Sorry, white boy, (laughing) they got rid of his *** first! (audience laughing)
(bell dinging) - They both got fired, they both got fired. (audience laughing)
(audience applauding)
