1 HOUR Of MATT RIFE Comedy - Best Stand Up 🚩 TikTok Compilation #2

Mary how long five years five years congratulations where'd you guys meet when you were four and five well you're not nine and ten so I tell you where was this you grew up together no way across you the neighbors that's some wholesome right there you Hopscotch your way into some man that's amazing laughs God that's so adorable oh how'd you shoot your shot we were swimming you were swimming [Applause] it's unhygienic from what I've heard chlorine or a river it was a pool above ground yeah was it really oh man do you know do you know how impeccable your game has to be to get some in an above ground pool God damn I wish I had a sketch dude because this is such a funny visual but I imagine him just like picking her up and putting on the side of the pool and she's just up like this the side folds down and then that giant gush of water she's like like damn you wet while she's just being waterboarded on the grass you can get the visual right like you so trash Buffalo you saw you saw me barely touch it right don't make this that one right there you knew this was gonna happen that's why there was a backup oh God damn it let's see how do I hey guys I don't work at Radio Shack tell me how to do equipment stuff there we go there we go it's also Loops right I gotta hold my like a rapper [Applause] yeah I'll try oh is there a wireless one oh we got options okay to put this back it's on now check check nope nope nope that's what you all want to do after this it's on now right I don't know what else to do it's not it's still not on I can go back to that one all right here we go yeah that'll be fine we can just leave the record this one off that's okay foreign [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] I hate this city man it should have never happened in Albany [Laughter] [Laughter] foreign what's your name Casey Casey and Jesse pleasure to meet you Casey and Jesse you guys are adorable where'd you guys meet in Columbus Ohio you guys drove from Ohio you're not even allowed to be gay up there that's crazy what stay down here well well maybe I'll go west a little bit yeah um you got here yesterday are you going back tomorrow you guys do anything fun for Easter repent Maybe did you guys go to church this morning you have food poisoning eating the wrong fish [Applause] that's Jesus saying clean up your life I can't I get it I'm kidding I'm kidding now what's Penn's mechanic look exactly in Columbus an arcade bar like um pinball machines and stuff like that just work on your finger and just do you remember who'd you come out to First you don't mind me asking your friends and did they know they're like yeah I bet you you look you dressed like that you don't skateboard at all you're young you don't have to do it anytime soon what would you ever want kids do you think Rich if you're rich well you're gonna have to stop working at an arcade bar step number one I go through backpacks like crazy like because I fly so much they always up my bags it's always the like the the lining on like when a strap meets the actual backpack it gets someone's carrying so much I go through more straps than you guys do laughs [Applause] I was trying to get to it I was like how can I how can I squeeze that in get out of me Lube you know that's so cute man I wish I was good I've never paid you called down back there before I have her come back girl pegged the out of here what gets in the way the most education I guess communication that's a big one well it doesn't always need to be verbal you know I'm sure you guys are pros of reading lips you know settling rock paper scissors you got your foot up on stage to hold you hella comfortable man what kind of work you need those boots for electrical contractor electrical contractor nice you ever been electrocuted you've been shocked like finding out your daughter's a lesbian you did IVF invert infertile uh internal vitro asphyxiation they put eggs and semen inside you and then they just so this is my impression of them after an argument too like did you know you were selecting twins yes oh really I didn't know you could do that you had to choose the sex you can't do that canceled and so cancel cancel cancel Shang this is what I was talking about man with Nashville's so funny you guys like no school shooting stuff but I was like a little bit of transphobia and he was like yeah come on back in there baby yeah you can't make fun of the kids just the shooters yeah what's your name Jesse Jesse pleasure to meet you what do you do work wives you take care of your two younger brothers what do you want to do after the kids are grown I was going to school for forensic anthropology you you were going to school for forensic anthropology like look at dead bodies and trying to figure out uh what happened to them did you get to the point in the school where you were like face to face with a dead body wait hold on what uh would you rather not repeat that she basically she stopped going to school because she started having some negative thoughts and wanted to focus on some Health Care some self-care we'll we'll phrase it that way she was she was not doing so well mentally so her parents were like here watch our other two kids oh Jesse you're in no position oh my god well good luck I hope you don't end up looking at two more dead bodies whatever you guys would you be like in like the morgue is that where where your work would take place where the body is field work not a term I would be using in the South but work maybe but um a ropes to do I figured I at least owed to a conversation thanks for being so sweet um don't put me in your note [Applause] okay so who went pro and didn't take you with him who was it [Applause] okay yeah dude that's what I'm talking about man how long you been out and about 2020. summer of 2020 but recently were you just that bored in the house how old are you you're 20. your birthday is this Wednesday happy birthday [Applause] now you guys got to compete who sucks better Dick you think so he's got home field advantage all right let's test it Alex get back out of here Alex [Laughter] foreign [Laughter] [Applause] so no public boyfriend just yet he ain't why do you say that don't cheer you homophobes what what made what made him not besides you in there you know because he was blocking the whatever dude but you were turds actually so stupid um I'm sorry real question this is my security in case any of you all in your Will Smith right now like getting offended running up on stage keep my wife's name out your hands [Laughter] because yeah never mind whatever that's such a cool skill man this looks like you solve an imaginary Rubik's Cube killer is uh anybody gay [Applause] anybody at all anybody in the vicinity [Laughter] [Applause] [Laughter] this man will jerk you off with a poem [Laughter] [Laughter] you're so sweet I've just never been in this position before [Laughter] [Applause] sacrifice foreign who are you signing for I don't even know sure it's not you you've been hearing the whole show you make us wish we were all deaf oh you don't sound deaf at all this just seems so extra what was your name Nicole great to meet you Nicole how did you um how did you hear about the um nice to meet you guys this is so exciting thanks for coming I just I just wanted to know sounds like you don't need to be here it's everybody be nice especially you feisty I like get ready a lot I'll come back there and take your batteries out oh foreign [Applause] if I have her sign something will you relay it verbally all right [Music] [Applause] you didn't know this was Def Comedy Jam did you you didn't know oh yes do match here's a matching snake skin bruise it's both snakeskin python yeah none of those gardener snake are coupled up obviously matching nice how long five years five years what'd you meet at North Carolina in North Carolina that's specific where you met at a bar yeah underage and drunk hey stop talking stop talking stop talking stop talking stop talking stop talking stop talking okay under 21. okay you almost ruined the show the approached you or you approached him I don't you don't remember also not a good sign what do you guys do basket Weaver basket Weaver what the you married to a hunter-gatherer what the you work for the Easter Bunny dog that's actually how he got her at the bar he just delayed down a trail of eggs it was like yeah one of those big picnic baskets up on a stick like this and then she went underneath it he went ah like a Looney Tune thank you how long you've been doing that for five years five five years did she take your manhood dog what did you do beforehand we're gonna seal Mill oh my God are you serious and made you start weeping that um sorry do you like it come on man it's just us you enjoy the job it's fine what would you like to do if you could do anything in the entire world any job fly a helicopter interesting man I used to love helicopters but I'm also a Lakers fan [Applause] [Music] [Applause] and you know what up he's wearing a black mamba on his feet could I see one of the boots are you able to take one of them off it's the real deal man [Applause] smell is boo what the wrong with you Jesus Christ [Music] [Applause] let's talk to somebody who spent Valentine's Day alone Virgo men are the worst you know what's funny about this before I even before I even defend myself I don't even care I don't even believe in this but I can't let it slide okay Virgo men and Aquarius men you're Aquarius Oh I thought you were annoying I'm sorry so sorry I thought that's my bad why do you think Virgo metal worse though you don't with them look I would you I just I haven't washed my hands since cutting a dog that's just I don't want to do that to you smells like an Aquarius [Applause] what's that not you though all the other aquariuses yeah yeah The Quiet Ones yeah what's your name Amelia man I wish you would disappear like Earhart [Applause] are you in school Flight School what are you in school for business yeah yeah like minding your own what do you want to do with a business degree you don't know you don't know what you want to do when you grow up you know no ideas you just want to be rich look it's do nursing you will be rich for sure I don't know if you're Filipino enough to make it you're what Hungarian your parents are from Hungary and their daughters from thirsty foreign has anybody ever seen a ghost have you really hold on before you get into this does anybody have any weed are you really what do you have a whole joint dab a pen am I allowed to have this can I have it why does it look like a pregnancy test tastes like urine it's called ghosts what if this isn't a sign I don't know what is oh my God does that mean your kid's not gonna make it [Applause] I have a friend who around places where things happen things have happened she'll like feel weird like on our uh college campus there's this tree oh my gosh towards you walked by the tree and she just felt like she was choking and they like lift it up later and that's like the tree where a bunch of winchings would happen and like all through her childhood like like certain places would give her like headaches or like bad feelings and like uh they would look it up and it's like oh that's the bridge and we're like everyone commit to Suicide over and over and over and to make her physically so do you think like if if she entered a room where two people just got done just the I'm joking again I'm like no they used to shoot porn in this comforting though she says Cemetery she's like cemeteries are calm cemeteries do you have anything you want in your tombstone you never think about this like that's like the thing that people see your name your year what was it QR code oh QR codes what your only fans God rest your soul but them titties can come back God damn about to give me a resurrection a res erection come on man y'all gotta hit this ghost this is uh there's six of us in here I saw you okay me me me me me me me me me me me what's true that's how you win a breakup that's how you do that he actually almost got into bed with her absolutely it almost got into bed with her language I did not understand Spanish you had a monster come to the foot of your bed it was mumbling some kind of language you didn't understand and then you thought it went away and the covers beside you in bed lifted up and then let back down you farted shut up oh my God nice try oh it smells like eggs in here must be a demon I think our house is haunted man do you hear that grumbling yeah that's your guts I'm sick right now backtrack hold on how did your how did your ex send a demon to you guys was a very big like he did like witchcraft stuff he did witchcraft this is already on you this relationship was he like I'm a witch also real quick aren't males Wizards yes he was so he was a wizard you you he threatened to kill you why balance a day before the year anniversary come on but you could have waited two more days you couldn't have had the anniversary and then one day after being like that was really fun but I don't think so he probably had some planned maybe a sacrifice for the for the one you don't look like a virgin I don't think it was how was the dick though that's why you make a deal with the devil right but I sell my soul for just six Lord I swear to God please I've never seen a demon I don't imagine have you seen an angel I keep hitting you with that I'm like this is the end of the conversation for sure I just saw one too a girl looks like she'll suck your soul out laughs just in case did you know that it's Black History Month have you learned anything yet no does anybody have a black history fact or statistic that would uh oh let's hear this white girl what was it what do you got um African-American um invented what's that they came into the Super Soaker no way wasn't that Lonnie what what is it Lonnie Johnson that sounds like every cornerback I used to love the Super Soaker man okay that's that's a good one what's that what's up what's another one the same guy I've been in the Nerf gun I mean if they're gonna keep shooting each other might as well be safe [Applause] we end up on thirds we have another one nope not looking good Connecticut we've heard enough [Laughter] what's that it used to only be a week long until a president changed it to the month Black History Month used to only be a week long and then a president changed it to make it the whole month the shortest month you know what president it was you don't remember I do want to know this actually bro yep I was gonna give it a second I was gonna say the same thing bro I was gonna act like I was Googling for 10 seconds oh man oh we are learning what happened with your ghost story Monterey Mexico you look like you not from there so visiting to uh Kansas I went through Monterey I was in a I was in a hotel room that night in our room I was with three other people also witnesses to this event and there was a probably like an eight foot figure in our room it was an eight-foot figure in your room Mexicans are not that tall so instinctually you're like that's not supposed to be here unless it was just like two of them in a trench show like you know you know you know when kids are trying to get into an amusement park and they're just one adult please okay so you saw you saw this tall ass figure okay this is a true story man that's the end of it no okay I made an Indescribable sound but I cannot it made an Indescribable sound you mean Spanish housekeeping he woke up at 9 00 a.m and this hurt I cleaned laughs so they made this out how would you describe this sound a whisper screen was it a ghost of the Yin Yang Twins and then did it just disappear did it walk away it levitated over the bed and you were like ah please don't nice could you guys in the back hear what happened you could hear a story okay I just wanted to make sure yeah basically he was in Mexico doing some gay with his friends scared him a little what's up that's for me what is it it's a bear you got me a Build-A-Bear why it's a voice message too in it as a voice message from your show where you said if someone got you a Build-A-Bear oh my God so I did I did a tick tock one time where the girl in the audience was saying it was a red flag that a guy brought her a Build-A-Bear on first date and I had said in the video I was like I would love if somebody brought me up build a bar so you brought me one I got to do more jokes about getting my dick sucked [Applause] yeah thanks I guess this is so sweet thank you oh your numbers are on here it might still happening am I still happy [Applause] we can use them for cleanup can I take them out of here this is so cute oh he didn't really he didn't spring to get him any clothes it's kind of a whole you didn't really Build The Bear kind of just looks like you stole one guy there's a voicemail one press of the Paw what if I press it it's just like I want you it might be the other one that sucks I can't lie that's um that's uh it's not incredibly audible but it's a thought that counts thank you so much this is this is one of the sweetest laziest gifts I can there you go there we go and what three you're literally scraping food onto a plate while you're talking to me about sex you're enjoying yourself have you ever tried it quietly patient or what's that oh oh oh my inability to please others oh no I could definitely make you come for sure who you here with by yourself no damn [Applause] you couldn't even get somebody to come with you [Applause] damn [Applause] I'm a nice person okay you guys see I didn't start that it does finish it I comedically like gave you a facial dog like I don't know how much better it can be there's also police officers here I met a uh officers when did Jimmy officers went out oh is that his wife oh man he said you take forever to come he said and he dared me that I wouldn't say it at the show you seriously got to work on that that's his trigger finger and they really like he's got a oh man now he said you guys have great sex and he said he beats it up like you said a description [Music] he said sometimes he lets her wear the boulevard vests and everything a role play she puts on the bulletproof vest and then she's a teacher [Applause] sorry I'm not one of your students my bad sorry about that [Applause] that's not even the last school shooting joke of the show you lived in a Crematory it was a Crematory why do you know that who the just knows that statistic nerd he's right next to a nursing home convenience Beth [Laughter] foreign there's a cemetery by the Children's Hospital come on Pennsylvania have a heart man you not put a cemetery next to a Children's Hospital you put it next to the school [Applause] I told you there was one more I told y'all man I didn't know where how it was gonna go but we we found it all right that's the last one probably what is it Jamal oh I think it's outside of Jamal y'all have so little black people here you started naming white people black women names just to make up for one more time Joelle white okay good yeah how long you guys been together 11 years God damn [Music] you took him from your best friends insane Shame Shame this way you can't be going around telling your girlfriends how good your man's dick is yes his name's Joelle but he like Jamal he's got to think of a Jamal [Applause] interesting you guys have any kids really I'm jealous I do want kids some there [Music] and abandon you like the last one the one-handed belt take my belt on [Applause] if I do will you hang yourself with it I've never been more sure somebody's from Miami [Music] worse dry Miami gross what school you go to Community College it's a private school sorry just say you came from money just say that I chose jury selection is that a real thing wasn't she selling scented candles she's a Blog the goop that sounds like what she should name her sense again I wish I had been more up to date on that trial now that we've talked about it that's scary yeah oh way worse women's basketball [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] what's that your mom plays professional basketball no way so you definitely don't come from money [Applause] ah I just did something your mom could never do I dunked on your ass hahaha that was a low blow almost time but it was also such a layup you know was your mom good would you say she was the dikele Jordan of the day [Music] [Laughter] that is pretty cool though did you get to go to a lot of games growing up is that courtside was it lonely we have to get out of here you guys we do because I have a fantasy WNBA team to go man so I just found out apparently I'm colorblind don't know how long that's been going on for but man I tell you what shocked me too came right out of the purple some people say that I've got a tiny which is accurate his name is Winston he's my favorite you know I have a tiny at least I've got a huge pain one and I had a pleasure a woman I know this I know this one guys you listen to her ladies am I wrong you know that right like a 50 Shades of Sacramento [Applause] thank you did you purposely dress in different colors on the shirt that was the least concerning part of the entire organization it was really the color coordination is what's really impressive yellow red kind of pinkish and then and then green nice those photos are trademarked though and I'm gonna need thirty five thousand dollars and we're gonna have to press charges and you guys look like you have the money I'm following through for sure I've just never met a pallet of before I feel like I'm trying to in like the paint section of Home Depot [Applause] you live in Washington state or DC it's a Bigfoot up there you haven't found them yet keep looking and make him wear the blue blazer when you find it I Can't Get Over The Wiggles design but I really can't like it's on Instagram is a song good yummy yummy are you guys all single only in Sacramento or what what's that is it going on tick tock it depends on how much of a disaster your life's on I don't know you're single all right how about you I'm married that I'm I'm available for free drinks married but available for free you got to your minds you know what it makes total sense that you're the one dressed like a red flag that actually takes total sense this completely checks out wow okay married married single divorcing green flag so and then caution like What's your deal you just be just kind of single floating around like what was it yields should have left 10 minutes ago all right we gotta wrap this up because I'm trying to I'm trying to go back to the hotel and Taste the rainbow foreign [Applause] [Laughter]

Channel: KitTong

Views: 631,417

Keywords: matt rife, comedy, standup, funny, stand up, netflix, standup comedy, comedian, nick cannon, crowd work, only fans, dave chappelle, roast, tfil, comedy special, travel, jokes, netflix is a joke, hbo, comedy central, standupcomedy, comedy show, hilarious, mattrife, matt rife comedy, best comedy, laughs, funnyaf, matt rife stand up, bring the funny, improv, how to, reaction, matt rife laugh factory, reaction video, rife on the road, tfil exploring, tfil mall, tfil new zealand

Id: jLaCZxxQBUw

Length: 45min 59sec (2759 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 16 2023