- If it ain't about food, drinks, snacks, it ain't nothing you can teach us. I bet when you get out your bed your bed be like, "Woo, thank you Jesus!" (audience cheers) (bell dinging)
(air horn) (audience cheers) (DC laughs) (bell dings)
(audience laughs) Okay, my bad, I ain't see your hand, I'm sorry. I am Nick Cannon thoughts. Ooh, it's been a lot going on up here. You know what, y'all know what time it is. Ay, your barber (beep) you up big guy. (audience cheers)
I'm outta here (beep) God ****! (bell dings)
(audience cheers) God ****! I'm talking about, that
(beep) like this boy (beep). (audience cheers)
(audience applauding) (audience cheers) (DC laughs) (DC screams) I am Nick Cannon thoughts. (laughs) Man (beep) that, this how your barber look when he was lining your *** up. (audience cheers) - [DJ] Ah! Got him again.
(bell dings) Got him again. - If I can line you up
just a little bit to the, (audience cheers)
Let me, let me see. (beep)
If I can just line you up, just a little bit. (laughs) (bell dinging)
(air horn) (DC screams) Okay, here we go. (laughs) I am Nicholas Cannon thoughts. (laughs) I ain't gonna lie boy, you
uglier than a mother (beep) (audience laughs) This (beep) got a purple thermal. What the (beep). (laughs)
(audience laughs) (beep) went in the store and said, "You got any thermals.
Some purple ones?" (laughs) (audience cheers) Uh uh, I ain't done,
(beep) it, I want Nick. (audience cheers) Nick Cannon, I am Nick Cannon thoughts. I ain't gonna lie boy,
your head, little head. Look how much leg room. (laughs) - Hey Fly, hey DC. - The (beep) flap goes
around his head. (laughs) (bell dings)
(audience cheers) - Hey DC. DC, real quick bro. Come around here, I wanna see if I'm triggered, real quick. (DC speaks indistinctly) Hey, look at Nick legs with them big *** shoes. (audience laughs)
- Look at that. (bell dings) Hey, don't he look like
a flea market mannequin gurgle, will you? (audience laughs) (bell dings)
(bell dings) - I ain't even going to lie, guess what? Auntie looks like you can make
some good *** peach cobbler. I ain't gonna lie.
(audience cheers) (bell dinging)
(air horn) (audience cheers) (DC laughs) (DC sighs) I am Nicholas Cannon thoughts. (laughs) Hail to the mother (beep). (laughs) (DC screeches)
(audience laughs) You saw how she scoot back in that chair? (audience laughs) (bell dings) (laughs) Hold on Nick. She was on the edge, but when she scoot back, her feet rolled. (audience cheers)
(bell dings) - [Nick] (laughs) Stupid. (audience cheers) (DC laughs) - I am Nicholas thoughts. (audience laughs) This is everything that
I'm thinking. (sighs) You know what, (beep) this (beep), boy you blacker than a mother (beep), I'm on your ***, boy.
(audience cheers) (audience cheers) - Normally, when we have on our Wild 'n
Out costumes and wardrobe, I feel like I'm very covered up. But today I feel like you can
actually see my true figure and how thick I really am. And all this cake batter-- - Ah-ah, you ain't got no dang *** girl! (audience laughs) You got on a see-through and we see right through your ***! (audience cheers)
(bell dings) (bell dinging)
(air horn) Okay. You ready? - Ready, DC. - Okay, um, listen. ♪ When it come to writing
scripts, girl, I'm Gucci ♪ ♪ Uh huh, now I could put you in a movie ♪ ♪ Me and you, we in scenes and stuff ♪ ♪ I'm the one that say action ♪ ♪ Hell no, cut ♪ (audience cheers)
- Director. - Yes! - [Nick] That's how we go.
(bell dings) (audience mouth drumming
"Here Comes the Bride") - [Nick] Here they come! - Ooh girl, you so, girl you beautiful! Y'all give it up for my wife! Give it up for my wife!
(audience cheers) Woo! Come on now, you know I
trained you better than that. Now give it up for everybody, come on. (hands clapping)
(audience laughs) See, that's why I can't be with you. You just gave it up to everybody. (audience cheers)
(bell dings) (Nick mouth drumming
"Here Comes the Bride") - [Nick] Who going first? - All right DC, who you got with you? - Everybody knows him. Listen, I've been listening to his music since I was a child. Nick, he probably inspired... No, ain't nobody inspired
your music, Nick. (audience laughs) - Y'all make some noise for (scats) Michael Jackson! (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (Nick laughs) I love you, all right.
(audience cheers) (upbeat music) ♪ Oh ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ Dollar sign, dollar sign ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪
(buzzer rings) - You said dollar sign. ♪ Only you ♪
♪ No one else, no one else ♪ ♪ I need you ♪ - You sound nothing like Ty Dolla Sign! ♪ Ooh ♪ (buzzer rings)
♪ Ooh ♪ (audience laughs) (audience cheers)
♪ Why you bull-spinnin' ♪ ♪ Why you bull-spinnin' ♪ (audience cheers) - Okay, here we go, let's go! - Hold. Hey, hey (beep)
calm that (beep) down! (audience laughs) ♪ Hold up, we gon' handle this ♪ ♪ Slow that bull down ♪ ♪ Hold, that's that settlement ♪
- [Audience] Okay! ♪ Oh, listen ♪
(bell dings) ♪ I get to steal ♪ ♪ I'm on that West Side,
where we keep it real ♪ (audience cheers)
(bell dings) ♪ Hold up, we swerving ♪ ♪ I get y'all (beep) buzzer up ♪ ♪ She was a virgin ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ Hold up, 'bout to throw up ♪ ♪ Bite me ♪ ♪ I ain't never had no ice cream ♪ (audience cheers)
(bell dings) ♪ Why you bull-spinnin' ♪ ♪ Why you bull-spinnin' ♪ (audience laughing) - My boy Nick Cannon is so fly. - [Everyone] How fly is he? - He told me that we was
going to reshoot this in the summertime in Atlanta, and I know it's gonna be hot so I made him buy all
the women lace fronts! (audience cheers) (buzzer rings) - Uh, excuse me ma'am, you need one, okay? (audience laughs) My boy, Nick Cannon is so fly. - [Everyone] How fly is he? - Hey man, I took my
boy to Magic City man, and he ain't throw no dollar. (audience laughs) Cause he said the stripper should have been throwing money on him! (audience cheers)
(bell dings) - I'm the prize. I'm the prize. ♪ It's my birthday ♪ (beat boxing)
(audience cheers) ♪ It's my birthday ♪ ♪ My name is Fly. ♪
- [Audience] Yeah! ♪ ATL I stay ♪
- [Audience] Yeah! ♪ Catch me at Cascade Sunday
Nights so we can skate ♪ (audience cheers)
(bell dings) (beat boxing) ♪ It's my birthday ♪
♪ My name is Fly ♪ - [Audience] Yeah! ♪ I get that bread ♪
- [Audience] Yeah! ♪ And ma'am, ♪ ♪ That scarf is not gonna cover
up that big *** forehead ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ It's my birthday ♪ (beat boxing) (bell dings) ♪ It's my birthday ♪ (audience cheers) - (mumbles indistinctly) move, move! (mumbles indistinctly) I got ya! (exhales) One more. - God ****! - Ah, I know I'm real romantic. Ah. (audience laughs) (stool thuds) (stool thuds)
(DC grunts) (stool thuds)
(audience laughs) You know why I did all that, girl? - Mm-mm. - I'm just letting you know, ain't nothing gon' to block me from loving you. (audience laughs) - Oh I like that.
(bell dings) I like that. (audience cheers) - No, they been waiting
for the d. (chuckles) (spits) Oh!
(audience laughs) Ew! That tea is nasty! I told them to put some sugar in it. (spits) ****! (coughs)
(audience laughs) Your shoulder is nasty! (audience laughs) (buzzer rings)
(audience laughs) (audience cheers) - Behaviors that work
your mama's last nerve. (DC groans)
(button rings) What is, when you ask your mama for money, but then she look at you but then you know she love you so you start doing this (beep) right here. (audience laughs) (bell dings) - Black mother responses to, "I'm hungry". (DC groans) (button rings)
- What is, "What, they ain't feed
your *** in school, huh?" (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (audience cheers) - Things the side chick would say. - Wait, I got one. (chuckles) (button rings) (chuckles) Ah! "You really gonna put that rubber on after all that time you ready
to go (beep) her like that?" (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - What "Wild 'n Out" Girls
think during the show. (audience laughs) - (grunts) Move. Black people show. Back! (audience laughs) What is, "**** my feet hurting, I've been standing here all god **** day." (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - This is a lie you would tell the police. (DC groans)
(button rings) - What is, "Who was going 60? Boy, my transmission slipping. My (beep) don't wanna
go past 25!" (chuckles) (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Phrases heard at a vegan barbecue. (button rings)
- What is, "Man, you sure that ain't no
pork bit though, you sure?" (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - This phase was over before it began. - I got it.
(button rings) What is, "This man's shirt, boy,
that shirt is uglier than a mother (beep), oh my goodness! (audience cheers)
(bell dings) You need to close that mother (beep). - [Audience Member] Oh, my goodness! - I like your shirt. You rock that low V-neck! - [DC] Aww. ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ This is my cousin ♪ ♪ And she picked me up in a rental ♪ ♪ But don't her head ♪ ♪ Shaped just like ♪ ♪ When your bite an eraser off a pencil ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ At the family reunion ♪ (bell dings) ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ This my nephew Tay ♪ ♪ And he always say ♪ ♪ Unc, I'm gonna come and support ya ♪ ♪ But go ahead fool, you famous ♪ ♪ Don't never say ain't
did nothing for ya ♪ ♪ At the family reunion ♪
- Turn up! Turn up! (audience laughs) ♪ Who we introducin' ♪
(buzzer rings) ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ This is my cousin ♪ ♪ And she is so precious ♪ ♪ But Black Ink Crew Chicago ♪ ♪ Don't do no more tattoos
'cause these are messed up ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ At the family reunion ♪ - The hell is this?
(bell dings) ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ (Emmanuel chants indistinctly)
(audience cheers) - Oh my god, DC, nice outfit. I guess they renamed the show,
Wild 'n Out of the closet. (audience laughs) - Boy first of all, your *** built like the
last drop of the toothpaste, Ugly *** girl.
(audience laughs) (chuckles) Hold up, wait a minute. (DC blows raspberry)
(audience laughs) (Emmanuel chants indistinctly) - Go ahead. (audience laughs) - Man, (beep) that, boy, your head look like the
rat off the Ninja Turtles. Ugly *** boy.
(audience laughs) I'm on your stupid ***. Boy, you're homeless; your
pocket coming out your pocket. Stupid ***, boy. Boy, you a dumb ***. (screams) Got on Valentine's
shoes with no date, ugly *** boy.
(audience laughs) - Are you done?
- Is you? - Boy, if you don't get your (screeches) (audience laughs) 'I gotta scream to be funny' *** boy! (whistle blows)
(audience laughs) (whistle blows)
(audience cheers) (whistle blows) - Did he just scream at me? (whistle blows) That (beep) scream? Oh, he was impersonating me.
(whistle blows) Oh, I'm about to get on your *** boy. If you don't get your, 'I stole my boy Emmanuel
video four years ago', ugly *** boy.
- [Audience] Ooh! - Hey, why you asking all them questions? Not your video, ugly *** boy. (audience cheers)
- Oh, okay. - Boy, if you don't get your, 'internet you came from my
left nut' lookin' *** boy. (audience cheers)
(DC and Emmanuel chanting) - Guess why Russell Simmons dropped you? He said your *** was
overdrafting on the RushCard! (audience laughs) Ain't nobody never
overdraft on the RushCard! (audience laughs) But this (beep) ugly *** boy (beep) - Man, RushCard ain't
even in business no more. - I know, it's 'cause
of you, stupid *** boy. (audience laughs) (whistle blows) - You, out!
(audience cheers) - [Audience] Got damned! (bell dinging)
(air horn) (Emmanuel speaks indistinctly) - You know I'm a gentleman,
lesbians first, man. - [Audience] Ooh! - If I'm a lesbian, why your *** up here built like an auntie, you ugly *** boy? (beep) wrong with you?
(audience cheers) With no kids, ugly *** boy. - Hey do me a favor, go like this again. And then stop. Don't he look like a
City Trends mannequin? If you don't get your (indistinct) (audience cheers) - Okay. Hold up. Boy, (beep), I bet your
glucose level high as hell, ugly *** boy!
(audience laughs) - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Listen, man I saw that movie, "How High," and what I want to know is, how high was the (beep)
that gave you that role? Your acting in that movie was very, um-- - Let me tell you something.
- It was very, um-- - Oh, shaky, shaky.
- Exactly! (audience laughs) - Okay.
- Okay. - Okay. Okay.
(audience cheers) (beep) I know you ain't talking! (audience cheers)
- Oh. Okay. (whistle blows) (beep) that, your wig has
been blasting all day. (audience laughs) ♪ And Hitman ♪ ♪ You only gangster for fun ♪
(bell dings) ♪ I bet you clean your teeth
more than you clean your guns ♪ ♪ And DC ♪
(bell dings) ♪ Your girl she might choke ♪ ♪ 'Cause Ginuwine out here
hittin' all of them high notes ♪ (audience cheers)
(bell dings) - [Nick] Hey, hey.
- Hold up. - Come here. Come here. Justina. Hey, cut that (beep) out. Stop playing with me.
(record scratches) (audience cheers)
Come here, white girl. I know you ain't talking
- I'm busy. - about me. Please don't start. Your *** up here dressing
like a disco ball in the trailer park. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) Come here, Ginuwine! - And bring that *** here, boy! - [DC and Ginuwine] Bring that *** here. - Ginuwine.
(audience cheers) I know you ain't talking
about OG right here. - Yeah!
- Uh uh. 'Cause we don't play fair. How the hell your *** 50,
but still got baby hair? (audience laughs)
(bell dings) Hell no, I ain't done! When I get done with him, OG gonna gimme a raise. I'm gonna get a Porsche!
(audience laughs) I might (beep) around and take your (beep) 'cause you got a pony and
I got a full blown horse. (audience cheers) (bell dinging)
(air horn) - [Cast Member] Hey yo! ♪ Now Chico ♪ ♪ That rhyme ♪ ♪ That you said ♪ ♪ Listen ♪ ♪ it ain't going down ♪ ♪ No ♪ ♪ If you jump in the pool with
that life jacket, (beep) ♪ ♪ You still gon' drown ♪ - Okay.
(bell dings) All right. - Help, help.
- All right. - Justina, you and all your
family members come up here. - [Audience] Ooh! - All your family members. - He's from the Midwest,
we're not related. - Yes! ♪ Now Justina ♪ ♪ I'm tired of your ***, uh huh ♪ ♪ And it's all undercover ♪ ♪ White people always trying
to take over black (beep) ♪ You done went and got your
sister and your brother. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (Justina speaks indistinctly) Big Mack. Come here, Big Mack. Now. Listen. ♪ Big Mack (screeches) ♪ ♪ You'll never have a
six pack (screeches) ♪ ♪ One, two, three, four ♪ ♪ You got ♪ ♪ Belly rolls ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Okay. ♪ I say DC ♪ ♪ You know I like the action ♪ ♪ And you look like a
undercooked Michael Blackston ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - I look like a cook, a what? ♪ Undercooked Michael Blackston ♪ - Guess what? ♪ You want some nacho please, hey ♪ ♪ Mixed with some broccoli, hey ♪ ♪ You want a pound of
green, hey (laughs) ♪ (audience laughs) - Hold up. ♪ I said I'm gon' come through ♪ ♪ You know I damaged ya ♪
♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Who the hell dressed you ♪ - Okay. ♪ Like a strip club manager ♪ (Nick and audience laugh)
(bell dings) - Who look like a strip club manager? What you laughing at, ugly *** boy? (audience laughs) ♪ DC, you don't want no smoke ♪ ♪ How you got a pencil (beep) ♪ ♪ But you can't write good jokes ♪ (audience cheers)
(bell dings) - [Nick] ****. - Turn that (beep) off! Cut that (beep) out!
(record scratches) Hold up, hold up! Girl don't be talking about me! You already know I get more bread. You weren't saying that (beep) last night about this pencil (beep) when it was drilling all on your forehead! (audience cheers)
(bell dings) - And DC, everything you say, it tend to be a bore. With all that denim on, you look like you going to the
Millennium Tour. (chuckles) (audience laughs) - Okay, okay.
(bell dings) Okay, Big Mack. If it ain't about food, drinks, snacks, it ain't nothing you can teach us! I bet when you get out your bed, your bed be like, "Woo, thank you Jesus!" (audience cheers) (bell dinging)
(air horn) Come here, Carter! I want y'all to look at this. Look at this face.
(audience laughs) All right. (chuckles) ♪ Now Carter ♪ ♪ Just chill ♪ ♪ Your girl though, I'ma ride her man ♪ ♪ But don't he look
like the green goblin ♪ from the movie (chuckles) ♪ Spider-Man ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - (screeches) No (beep) I'm
not, I don't (beep) with you. (audience laughs) (beep) that b, we wanna
hear this (beep) loud. Come here, Mario! Mario. Oh, Mario (beep) thinks he's everything! Now listen here. We face to face. Now, you gotta credit this. And I ain't going play with you so I might as well settle this. You are on the Millennium Tour because that's the only way
you can remain relevant. - [Audience] Oh!
- Now. Listen, I'm sorry y'all.
(bell dings) Y'all know I don't give a ****! I ain't got no fear! He told the whole Black Team to dress in army pants
and a bullet proof vest so they can save his **** career. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Hey, yo, hold up, hold
up, hold up, hold up. Hey yo, DC, we gonna make a toast of your career son, right? But I'm from B-more and I know a (beep) roach when I see one. (audience cheers)
(bell dings) (bell dings)
(air horn) - I was like what the hell? I ain't never seen a (beep) look like he going break
into jail. (laughs) (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - [Cast Member] Hold on, wait a minute. - He did, I swear. What you said was kind of true. (scoffs) 'Cause when I was locked up two years ago, he was serving me food. (laughs) (audience laughs)
(bell dings) Hold up! What I'm about to say, (chuckles) it's gon' hit you with the back beam! When this (beep) started talking, I was like, is Justina on the Black Team? (audience laughs) Come here, DJ. Stop that bull (beep). (audience cheers)
(record scratches) - [DJ] All right.
- Don't get me pumped up - 'cause you know I'm a starter! (laughs) Uh, excuse me, can you introduce him to your barber? (audience laughs) (bell dings) Excuse me, come here. Every time I look at your eyes, why the hell are you looking so surprised? (audience laughs)
(bell dings) Okay, now listen, Travis. ♪ Look ♪ ♪ Now, I don't wanna start with you ♪ ♪ Look, and I don't
wanna get wild with you ♪ ♪ I'm too ready, huh ♪ ♪ My bars heavy ♪ ♪ You look like a fake
Machine Gun Kelly (laughs) ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ Yo, I hate to do it ♪ ♪ Because I love Young Fly ♪ ♪ But why the (beep) did MTV
let you remake How high ♪ (Nick laughs)
(audience cheers) (bell dings) ♪ 'Cause listen ♪ ♪ Close (scoffs) ♪ ♪ You little ***** ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ This is Wild 'n Out ♪ ♪ This a black show (beep) ♪ ♪ (beep) this is not
"Jersey Shore," okay ♪ (audience cheers)
(bell dings) - I must say, my trip to
the A has been exquisite. I got to meet the Geico
Caveman and the Lizard. (audience cheers)
(bell dings) - (laughs) And he walked away on him. Walked away on him. - Lemme tell you, lemme tell you why they called me wizard. Don't push me, 'cause I swip swap swap
on your mama's (beep). (audience cheers) - I got him, Trav.
(bell dings) ♪ Hey yo, DC, ♪ ♪ Yo, ♪ ♪ DC, it's easy to catch you slipping ♪ ♪ You're so swim, whenever you swim ♪ ♪ You're always skinny dipping ♪ ♪ You up here with a
body made of gelatin ♪ ♪ Your *** look like a
chocolate-covered skeleton ♪ (audience laughs) - Listen here. (buzzer rings)
All right, check this out. ♪ Listen, Justina ♪ ♪ I'm tired girl ♪ ♪ Don't play with me ♪ ♪ Your *** so **** white ♪ ♪ You look like the little script ♪ ♪ In the middle of the street ♪ (audience cheers) - DC
(DC screeches) And you build like one of these on legs. (audience laughs) - Them ain't your eyebrows, is it? (audience laughs)
Do your? - No. - One shaky.
- [Audience] Ooh! - Boy, if you don't get your
'auntie-built lookin' ***' boy, I'm on your *** (beep)
(audience cheers) ♪ (indistinct) You gon'
get your *** (indistinct) ♪ (audience cheers) - Silence! Now, Nick Cannon, what up foo-foo? - What's happening folk?
- What up gang violence? Now, (Nick laughs) this rapper, whose real name
is Nayvadius DeMun Wilburn, (scoffs) well, that's a ugly *** name. He has one more baby mama than you. But, one of his baby mothers does have a real talent, ooh. (audience laughs) What is this rapper's name? - Wait, what was his name again? - Uh, (beep) mother (beep) stupid. (audience laughs) Nayvadius DeMun Wilburn. (laughs) (audience laughs) - Nayvadius DeMun Wilburn? - Yeah, (beep) Nayvadius
DeMun Wilburn (beep). (audience laughs)
(DJ laughs) - I'ma try, is it Future? - [DC] Huh? - Future? - His name Nayvadius? (audience laughs) - That's Future's real real name? - Let's go, DC.
- You correct! (beep) (bell dings)
- [Nick] You got it. (audience cheers)
- Let's go, DC! ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ - Silence, my minions!
(audience laughs) Now, people are always talkin' about how bad your **** music is, Nick. (audience laughs)
Huh? - Yours too. - No, no, no, no. Don't say about mine, I wanna
talk about yours, you know. But, you know, I do love listening to your music when I have trouble sleeping, so, (audience laughs)
it works, it works. Trust me, I go straight
the (beep) to sleep, I ain't gonna lie.
(audience laughs) Now, they also say that you
have something in common with a fellow rapper, all right, that was from Staten Island. And he also never liked
to use condoms as well. Who is that rapper? - So you telling me there's
a rapper from Staten Island that's famous for having a lot of kids? - I mean, he just like hittin raw, you know what I'm saying? Everybody like to do a
little raw man technique. (DC speaks indistinctly) - So okay, I think I know
who you talking about now. - [DC] Uh huh. - He's actually from Brooklyn. His cousins are from Staten Island. - [DC] Oh for real?
- The Wu-Tang Clan. - (scoffs) I'm just reading
what the card say, Nick. - But, he's from Brooklyn and his name is the Ol' Dirty Bastard. (audience cheers)
(bell dings) Rest in peace. (audience cheers) - [Nick] Oh no. (audience chanting indistinctly) - Shut up, my minions. Shut up. - Yo, what you got on? Yo, you look like a
skinny *** Wesley Snipes. (audience laughs)
(DC screeches) - They gonna call you.
- Nick Cannon. - They gonna call you
Razor Blade. (laughs) (audience laughs) - What did the left butt cheek
tell the right butt cheek? Mm? (audience cheers)
(Nick laughs) (DC grunts)
(audience laughs) - What did the left butt cheek tell the right butt cheek? Really, are you asking me that? - What did the left butt cheek tell the right butt cheek? (audience laughs)
(Nick chuckles) - Man, after all this (beep) and we still together. (audience laughs) That's from third grade! We know that joke! I've been saying that
joke since I was a kid! - God ****. Boy, you good.
(bell dings) Boy, you good. (bell dinging) - [Nick] He really took it to
grade school with that one. ♪ Baby daddy ♪ ♪ Baby mama ♪ ♪ Baby daddy ♪ ♪ Baby mama ♪ ♪ Baby daddy ♪ ♪ Baby mama ♪ ♪ Yo, who wants the drama ♪ - I'll take a little drama. - [Cast Member] All right fam.
(audience cheers) - My baby mama is so unemployed. - [Everyone] How unemployed is she? - (beep) she used to work
for you, Nick, what happened? (audience laughs)
(DC speaks gibberish) What's happening?
(bell dings) - You got her pregnant twice! - This only for two, I can't say that. (Nick and audience laughs) - Team Evolution, Team
Revolution, wild out. (audience cheers) ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Yo, yo ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Yo, yo ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ I just got Fly ♪ ♪ Back seat of my ride ♪ ♪ I used to sell bean pies ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Boy, you don't try ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Because I am not ♪ ♪ The person that you
thought I was, Nick Cannon ♪ ♪ I get the blaming ♪ ♪ You can't understand it ♪ ♪ (beep) You famished ♪ ♪ What (beep) ♪ (Nick DC laugh) - I guess I lost that.
♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ - Yeah!
(bell dings) ♪ What, what ♪
- Let's go! ♪ Backseat of my ride. ♪ ♪ The back seat ♪ ♪ Of my ♪ ♪ Ride ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ He's getting hella lit ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ You getting hella (beep) ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ I got the cutest fit ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ You look stupid as (beep) ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ You got no registration ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Here go the declaration ♪ ♪ You about see what's happening ♪ ♪ Hold up, no separation ♪ ♪ (beep) your people, ♪ ♪ (beep) where's our reparation? ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Yo, yo ♪
(bell dings) ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ This is my cousin ♪ ♪ And this is kinda scary ♪ ♪ But don't she look like a character ♪ ♪ From the Wild Thornberrys ♪ (audience laughs) ♪ At the family reunion ♪ (bell dings) ♪ Who we introducin' ♪
- Eliza Thornberry! ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ (audience cheers)
(upbeat music) - Oh okay, okay, okay, okay. Now listen, ♪ I'm the man on this bus ♪ ♪ I'm gonna give you some help ♪ ♪ I be like, turn right ♪ ♪ Ah-ah and turn left ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ Now listen ♪ ♪ I want you to listen to what I say ♪ ♪ I be like ♪ ♪ Look, there go big *** head ♪ (audience laughs) ♪ I'm the man on the bus ♪ ♪ You ain't never been outta town before ♪ ♪ I tell you everything ♪ ♪ Where you wanna go ♪ (buzzer rings)
- [Audience] Ah! - She don't know. (audience laughs) ♪ There's a hater in the
house, should I get him ♪ ♪ Let's get him ♪ ♪ There's a hater in the
house, should I get him ♪ ♪ Let's get him ♪ - Boy, I'm about to get on your *** but you think I don't see your ***, cameraman get his *** right there. - [Nick] Who?
- Yo, big black teddy. - Boy, your *** look like the
got **** clown of "Spawn." Ugly *** boy (beep).
(audience laughs) (Cast Member laughs)
(bell dings) - Let go.
- What he say, DC? (DC growling) ♪ There's a hater in the
house, should we get him ♪ ♪ Let's get him ♪ ♪ There's a hater in the
house, should we get him ♪ ♪ Let's get him. ♪ - Cameraman. Come right here, cameraman. Come right here cameraman, where we at? Right here, you ready? Cortez, I see you, 'little
bite of heaven' *** (beep) boy. Your *** get two case, for
talent and the lamp shade, ugly *** boy.
(audience laughs) - DC,
(bell dings) I don't know if that's Cortez.
(DC screeching) Cortez is over there. - Oh my bad, Cortez. (audience cheers)
Watch this, okay. Hi there! - Hi. - They call me Dr. Back-a-loose, (audience laughs) but my friends call me, Beat-yo. Beat-yo Back-loose.
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
(audience cheers) ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ - The topic is beat boxing. ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ You already know when
they call me in the South ♪ ♪ From a beat box (beat boxing) ♪ ♪ With my mouth, come on ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ Okay ♪ ♪ I'm the (beat boxing) with the K ♪ ♪ I am the one that go
(beat boxing) I want you ♪ ♪ And this goes out to you DC ♪ Ooh!
(audience cheers) - What you gon' do, DC? ♪ I don't know what he said ♪ ♪ But look (beat boxing) ♪ ♪ Come on! ♪ - Okay, okay, okay, okay! (rival beatboxing)
(audience cheers) (audience cheers) (rival beatboxing) (audience laughs) (bell dings) ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ - Your topic is ex-girlfriends. ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Talking my ex ♪ ♪ Yeah, that's the switches ♪ ♪ Matter, fact ♪ ♪ (beep) y'all (beep) ♪ ♪ Yeah my man ♪ ♪ While you going hard ♪ ♪ Throw something out in the backyard ♪ ♪ Hold up ♪
♪ Smash ♪ ♪ Let's dance ♪
♪ Dance ♪ ♪ I know your ex girlfriend
got your new pants ♪ ♪ Check out your pants ♪ ♪ Look like my daughter's ♪ ♪ Now, now y'all know that
(beep) hard to order ♪ (audience laughs) ♪ Hold up, you can't talk like that ♪ ♪ Why the hell your
voice sound like that ♪ ♪ Why you sound like
the young Chris Tucker ♪ ♪ You, you skinny mother (beep) ♪ (audience laughs) ♪ Hold up, skinny mother (beep) ♪ ♪ Hold up, let's step and snap ♪ ♪ The (beep) is wrong your hat, hey ♪ ♪ What the hell wrong with you ♪ ♪ This is what I (beep) do ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ (bell dings) ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ - So uh,
(cast member vocalizes) - Let's go.
- You ready? - DJ D-Wrek drop the beat.
- Let's go D. (soft music)
(audience cheers) ♪ Welcome to the candy store ♪ ♪ Where you can have all you want ♪ ♪ And so much more ♪ ♪ If anybody out there
has got a sweet tooth ♪ ♪ This one's for you ♪ ♪ And it goes a little
something like this ♪ ♪ A box of chocolate ♪ ♪ Can I have a taste of your ♪
♪ And unwrap this ♪ ♪ Can a I have a little bit of ♪
♪ You don't wanna (beep) me ♪ ♪ Up ♪
♪ Can I have a touch of your ♪ ♪ Chocolate box ♪
♪ Have a box of chocolate ♪ ♪ Can I have a taste of your ♪
♪ Unwrap this ♪ ♪ You don't wanna (beep) me ♪ ♪ Can I have a taste of your ♪
♪ Up ♪ ♪ Chocolate box ♪ ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ So much chocolate in this place ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Put that caramel on my face ♪ (audience cheers) ♪ I heard she ain't with that ♪ ♪ Guess what ♪ ♪ I break your back like a Kit-Kat ♪ (audience cheers) ♪ Boy, I know that you want a taste ♪ ♪ But give me time and I'm
gonna give you the space ♪ ♪ Ain't nothing more that I got the say ♪ ♪ Give me your number
and I'll be on the way ♪ ♪ I know you don't like me ♪ ♪ You probably can't stand me ♪ ♪ Girl give me that chocolate ♪ ♪ As long as it ain't candy ♪ ♪ Oh, that chocolate got nuts in it ♪ ♪ That chocolate got nuts in it ♪ ♪ That chocolate got nuts in it ♪ ♪ That chocolate got nuts in it ♪ ♪ That chocolate got nuts in it ♪ ♪ That chocolate got nuts in it ♪ ♪ That chocolate got nuts in it ♪ ♪ (cast member vocalizes) ♪ ♪ I'ma love you tonight ♪
(audience cheers) (DC screams)
(audience laughs) ♪ And I'ma love you tonight ♪ (bell dinging)
(audience cheers) (cast members speak indistinctly) (DC yells) - Now listen, are you ready? - Yeah. Now Look, ♪ I'ma going to keep it simple ♪ ♪ I can't kill that cat
in the intercontinental ♪ ♪ You get it ♪ ♪ I'm going hard ♪ ♪ I went crazy ♪ ♪ The first movie about my car ♪ ♪ The second movie I was wrong ♪ ♪ I went crazy about my dog ♪ ♪ Listen, I will go crazy about my dog ♪ (buzzer rings)
(audience laughs) - No!
(audience laughs) - No! What was that? (audience cheers) ATL, turn up! - [Everyone] Turn up for what? - Man, (indistinct) had that
ran in the back of my car yesterday, man. - What?
(DC clicks tongue) - It's all good. I ain't even call the police, (beep) and he had no insurance! (audience laughs) (cricket chirping)
(audience laughs) - That was very irresponsible. (audience cheers) - [Cast Member] Come on, DC! DC, let's get it! - [Nick] Young Fly, tell
us how fly she is, Fly. - My girl, Coi Leray is so fly - [Everyone] How fly is she? - She be like, (vocalizing). (audience cheers)
(DC continues humming) (bell dings) (audience cheers) I am Reginae thoughts. Oh, I can't believe Sisqó own those shoes. (audience laughs) ♪ He gotta take them shoes back, back ♪ ♪ Put them shoes on the rack, rack ♪ ♪ All night long! ♪
(bell dings) ♪ K-C-D want a shoe ♪
(audience cheers) Baby! (audience cheers) I am Cyn Santana thoughts. (sighs) Y'all know what time it is. Let go and get it on with it! Girl, your edge is so dry, they look like gummy worms! (screams) (audience laughs) (bell dings) (Nick laughs) (screams) Her edges like this. (audience laughs) - Okay, let's give the
people what they came for. Give me DeRay Davis, here. I need you here, DeRay. (audience cheers) Give me DC Young Fly. (audience cheers)
(cast members cheering) (Emmanuel chants indistinctly) - DC, if you don't get your 'hookah pipe body shaped *** outta here'. (DeRay imitates smoking a hookah) (beep) up out of here (beep)!
(DC screams) - Boy, your head look like every girl when they take they lace front off, "Girl, (audience laughs) look what it did to me!"
(audience laughs) - If you don't get your 'Timberland with the
tree chopped-off shoes' wearing *** out of here. - That's pretty funny. - DC, you got a tattoo of a fat
you on your back *** (beep)! (audience laughs) - How the hell you light-skinned
with a Mexican beard? Ugly (laughs)
(audience laughs) That (beep) got the LEGO chin, ugly *** lookin'.
(audience laughs) - I see you doing the face. I see you doin', oh, he doing faces. - You-- - He doing faces! He doing faces! - Out! - [Everyone] God damned!
(bell dings) (audience cheers) - You hood rat, stop
wearing that mother (beep). (audience laughs) - Let's get to it, New School, give me DC
Young Fly, I need you here. (audience cheers)
(team members chanting) Old School, it's time to crack some heads, give me Headkrack.
(audience cheers) - Let's go.
- Okay. (shouts indistinctly) - Boy, your *** sound like a youth pastor, but don't nobody come to your church, ugly ***. (laughs)
(audience laughs) "We working on it, I know I got two people
in the congregation." (audience laughs) "Matter of fact, y'all could go home, we gonna try again next Sunday." (audience laughs) - DC Young Fly is the
Great Value Chris Tucker. - [Everyone] Ooh. - Boy, if you don't get
your "Toy Soldiers," boy, "We are the Gorgonites," lookin' ***.
(audience laughs) - Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Hold up. - Wait, wait, wait.
- What? - (stammering) You jumping Headkrack! (stammering) go. Get him, yo. - Are you sure? - I'm not gonna let you jump my friend. What you gonna say?
- Okay. - Boy, both of y'all look
like y'all do this at home, "Oh-oh, Andy's coming!" (thud)
(audience laughs) (bell dings) (bell dings)
(air horn) - Give me Nessie, I need you here. Nessie, I need you here. Here, Nessie, I need you here.
(audience cheers) - Sorry. Give me DC Young fly, I need you here.
(audience cheers) - [Cast Member] No mercy, no mercy! (Emmanuel chants indistinctly)
(audience laughs) - Girl, your nose longer
than Tara Boulevard (beep). (audience laughs) - For 33 cents a day, y'all
can sponsor this child. He's starving.
(audience laughs) - I ain't even gonna lie, boy, your chucks tied tight as hell, I thought they was socks, ugly.
(audience laughs) - [Cast Member] Oh, get him out here! (audience laughs) - You, out! - [Everyone] Got damned!
(bell dings) - DC Young Fly, I need you here. (audience cheers)
I want you here. - [Nick] Let's go Fly. - Pretty Vee, I need you here. Pretty Vee, I need you here.
(audience cheers) Vee are you ready?
- I'm ready. - I already know you're ready. - Bust a move! - Your *** up here built like
a Great Dane, ugly *** girl. (audience laughs)
(DC screams) - DC, we built the same. (audience laughs) - I know. Is that why we up here looking
like two live *** germs, ugly *** girl?
(audience laughs) You built like an intestine,
ugly ***. (laughs) (audience laughs)
- DC, shut up. DC,
(DC screams) You build like one of
these (groans) on legs. (audience laughs) - Them ain't your eyebrows, is it? Do your? - No. - One shaky.
- [Audience] Ooh! - Boy, if you don't get your
'auntie built lookin' ***' boy, I'm on your *** (beep)
(audience cheers) ♪ (indistinct) if you
don't get your ugly ***. ♪ (audience cheers) - You already know where I'm going! Get your *** out of here, you took too long. You out! - [Everyone] Got damned!
(audience cheers) ♪ Hey, hey, hey, clap ♪ ♪ What it is, huh ♪ ♪ What's up ♪ ♪ Old school 'bout to tear this ***** up ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Yo, DC I don't mean to be mean ♪ ♪ But you look like the richest roach ♪ ♪ A (beep) ever seen ♪ ♪ And uh ♪
(bell dings) ♪ Before you speak ♪ ♪ Your breath is too strong ♪ ♪ You just look like Chris Tucker ♪ ♪ Got left in the dryer
too long. (laughs) ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Okay. Okay. Listen. ♪ New school 'bout to
mother (beep) kill the old ♪ ♪ New school 'bout to
mother (beep) kill the old ♪ ♪ New school 'bout to
mother (beep) kill the old ♪ ♪ New school 'bout to ♪ ♪ Listen, look. ♪ ♪ New school ♪ ♪ New school ♪ ♪ We the mother (beep) true school now ♪ - Okay. ♪ You already know ♪ ♪ That you might be rich ♪ ♪ But how you rich but your
*** can't keep a (beep) ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - You right, you right. (laughs) - All right, I'll talk to him. ♪ Hey yo, Vena ♪ ♪ I know you think you litty ♪ ♪ But you need to change your name ♪ ♪ 'cause your V is far from pretty ♪ - [Everyone] Ooh! ♪ And Santwon ♪
(bell dings) ♪ You really got to stop it ♪ ♪ Got this vest on ♪ ♪ So you could keep a
(beep) in both pockets ♪ (audience laughs) ♪ DC, ♪
(bell dings) ♪ You know I don't want to kick it ♪ ♪ Your ugly *** look like
a deep fried cricket ♪ - [Audience] Ooh! ♪ Listen Justina, (chuckles) ♪ ♪ You don't want no drama ♪ ♪ But hey y'all (scoffs) ♪ ♪ Look at her pants ♪ ♪ Don't just look like a dirty
brochure to The Bahamas ♪ (audience laughs)
(buzzer rings) ♪ Wildstyle ♪ ♪ My music shocked him ♪ ♪ And I just got me a cold feature ♪ ♪ DC not getting a verse ♪ ♪ And Nick Cannon, you either ♪ - [Audience] Ooh!
(bell dings) - Oh God, oh--
♪ Having fun on this beat ♪ ♪ I don't like none of the shoes ♪ ♪ That's on any of y'all
mother (beep) feet ♪ (bell dings)
♪ Wildstyle ♪ ♪ Wildstyle ♪
- [Nick] Oh, that's right, ♪ He going crazy. ♪ ♪ Yo, he can't get a feature ♪ ♪ From that (beep) Maury ♪ ♪ DC what you gotta say ♪ ♪ He think your (beep) is way played ♪ ♪ And I'ma tell you like this ♪ ♪ I'ma a juicer ♪ ♪ Matter of fact ♪ ♪ You need to get in the
gym like you used to ♪ - [Audience] Ooh!
- Oh, okay. (bell dings)
- Okay. - [Cast Member] Don't
let him talk to you DC ♪ Listen ♪ ♪ I'm in in the kitchen ♪ ♪ Uh huh, use the ketchup ♪ ♪ You already know, ♪ ♪ Uh uh, now don't get wet up ♪ ♪ Listen, I ain't judging ♪ ♪ Listen, I ain't mustard (beep) ♪ ♪ I don't wanna do a verse with you ♪ ♪ You fake as Ruben Studdard ♪ (audience laughs)
(beep) wrong with you? (bell dings)
(audience cheers) ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ - Silencio!
(audience cheers) - Hey bro, do your thing bro. Do your thing, DC.
(audience laughs) Do your thing.
- That supposed to be me? - Do your thing. - You know what, matter of fact, (beep) you. He wanna ask the question anyway. (audience laughs) come on, my boy, I told you I got you. It's your debut my boy! (laughs) "Boy, you told me you had me, boy". (audience laughs) Nick Cannon, what's up boy, your music always have me dead! (audience laughs)
(Nick laughs) Woo! (speaks indistinctly) (beep) Woo! - [Cast Member] Do it again, do it again. - Woo!
(audience cheers) Okay, any who, any who, I like my wings with the
bone in and skinless. (audience laughs) Woo! - [Nick] Ask the **** question! - Woo! - About to get a buzzer. - Ask the question! - Can I get uh, can I keep going? (laughs)
(audience laughs) Congregation, can I keep going? (team members chant indistinctly) - Woo!
(audience laughs) (skeleton hand tapping) - [Nick] Ask the question man. (DC grunts)
(audience laughs) - All right, here we go. So, you're in the bando cooking
up some work, right? - Okay. - Okay, you handling your business. Now, you got 10 grams on the left and one kilo on the right. Which one is larger? - 10 gram... - Come on now.
- The kilo. - No!
(audience laughs) You wrong (beep)! It's the 10,000 grams but
any who, it's all good. - You said 10 grams! - Woo!
(bell dings) Get your dumb *** over there, DC. (bell dinging) ♪ The backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ You got so much talent ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Girl, you know you wildin' ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ You know we stay stylin' ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ In you I'm stay climbing ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ You leave me in stitches ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Come on, I get (beep) ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ You know I stay spitting so sickening ♪ ♪ Me and DC, we do it so vicious ♪ ♪ It's like seizure ♪ ♪ We so wicked ♪ ♪ You know how we get sick ♪ ♪ My whole team winning ♪ ♪ You know what's happening girl, ♪ ♪ You know I get sicky with it ♪ ♪ Get witty, jiggy, ♪ ♪ Picky, picky, you sicky,
sicky (beep) Nikki ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪
(bell dings) ♪ Go, go, backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Go, go ♪ ♪ The back seat ♪ ♪ Of my ride ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ It's season 17 ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ I'm like, (beep) you mean? ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ We going off y'all ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ I don't give a (beep) y'all ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ It's DC ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Yeah they see me, mama, we on TV ♪ ♪ Made you bad ♪ ♪ You already know ♪ ♪ 'Cause you know that
I had to make it bad ♪ ♪ Now listen, hey ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride, yo ♪
(bell dings) (audience cheers) ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ - Silence my minions!
(audience laughs) Can I cancel? - [Everyone] Hell yeah, you can! - I said can I cancel? - [Everyone] Hell yeah, you can! - I wanna cancel the
people who canceled us because they brought us back because they knew we were the (beep). (audience cheers) - [Nick] Hell yeah!
(bell dings) - Give me Karlous Miller, Miller, I need you here.
(audience cheers) - No one other better than DC Young Fly, I need you here.
(audience cheers) - [Nick] Let's go Fly! Let's get him boy! (audience cheers) - Karlous, you're ready? - I'm ready. - DC, You're ready? - I'm ready. (Emmanuel chants indistinctly) - (stammers) No (beep).
(audience laughs) - DC If you don't get your got **** 'Jess Hilarious when she take her makeup' lookin' *** up out of here!
(audience laughs) - Boy your *** over here, boy your *** baby oatmeal or apple sauce, ugly *** boy!
(audience laughs) - Boy, if you don't get your got ****, 'ever thought of switching to Geico' lookin' *** up outta here.
(audience laughs) - Boy, your *** look like
everybody begging their uncle. (DC speaks gibberish) - Boy if you don't get your got ****, 'them the same braids Nick
threw away three seasons ago' lookin' *** up out here!
- [Audience] Ooh! - Boy, you know what you look like? My left nut, ugly *** boy!
(audience laughs) - Boy if you don't get your got ****, 'tight pants that came
with a (beep)' wearing ***. - Boy I know you ain't
talking about nobody, boy your voice sound like Justina's. Ugly *** boy
(audience laughs) - Boy if you don't get your got ****, 'a little bit of hair,
a little bit of hair, no beard having *** on the face' boy! - Boy your *** look like that (beep) man, when (beep) say he ain't
got no Black & Mild, "What you mean you ain't
got not Black & Mild?" - Boy if you don't get your got ****, 'you look like the Black
& Mild when you put it out and try to light that ***** again' lookin' *** up out of here!
(audience laughs) - Boy if you don't get got ****, "I ain't gon' buy a car, if it ain't got down less than a 86" ugly ***!
(audience laughs) - Boy if you don't get your got ****, 'baby braids look like
stitches on your head' *** up out of here.
(audience laughs) - Boy, if you don't get your got **** 'I wasn't playing, Dee calls two new' ugly ***!
(audience laughs) (whistle blows) (Nick chanting)
(whistle blowing) - This is the first time in history. Both of you guys are just
doing incredibly too good. So we gonna get you two, the both up out of here. You both won.
(audience cheers) Back to your spots please.
(bell dings) (audience cheers) (Emmanuel speaks indistinctly) New School, let's give the
people what they're waiting for. DC Young Fly, I need you here. (audience cheers) Old school,
- No. - Give me the Tommy gun, Tommy! - Let's go, Tommy!
(audience cheers) - [Nick] Go OG, it's what you do! - And I can't roast you OG, man! - Oh come on man!
- Got ****, man! - Come on, man. (Emmanuel chants indistinctly)
(audience laughs) - Boy, your *** look like
you wear church socks when you go swimming,
ugly *** boy. (laughs) - With them Louis sneakers
and them cornrows, your whole package is funky. - Ay.
- Okay. - Okay? But you happen to look like Lamar Jackson, if he was a monkey. - Oh.
- [Audience] Ooh! - All right look, when your *** played "In Living Color", it wasn't even color on the television, ugly ***.
(audience laughs) ♪ Everybody just black and white. ♪ (audience laughs)
(beat boxing) (whistle blows) - Tommy. You out! - [Everyone] Got ****! (audience cheers)
(bell dings) - Your scene is art museum. - I don't care, call my mama, man, this field trip boring
as (beep) anyway, boy. (Nick and audience laugh)
(bell dings) (Nick laughs) - A bus stop. - Oh, oh. Oh, where this (beep) at? I just got this job, man, ugh.
(Nick and audience laugh) (beep) never been late,
catching them buses. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Comedy club. - Welcome to the 85 South Show, we in the building.
(audience cheers) (bell dinging) - A funeral casket. - **** man. Here lies Justina Walls, man. That's crazy. - And they used her
tracks to make the drapes! (audience laughs)
- I know. (bell dings) - The scene is a jewelry story. - I was just gonna say I seen a bug in this jewelry story. I'm an exterminator.
(audience laughs) - All right.
(bell dings) - The scene is a drive-through. - How you doing? Welcome to Chick-fil-A. It's okay, drive on down. Come on down, yes. Welcome to Chick, hold that right there. How you doing? Welcome
to Chick-fil-A, yes. We're outside, we never go inside. (audience laughs)
Welcome to Chick-fil-A. (bell dings)
- The scene is a church. ♪ I wanna welcome everybody (grunting) ♪ ♪ To the Wild 'n Out
Baptist church (scoffs) ♪ ♪ I know y'all have been
seeing some things ♪ ♪ But I'm here to tell you ♪ (audience cheers)
(bell dinging) ♪ There's a hater in the
house, should we get him ♪ ♪ Let's get him ♪ ♪ There's a hater in the
house, should I get him ♪ ♪ Let's get him. ♪ - Cameraman, put it on my
boy with the brown jacket, boy I'm on your ***, boy.
(audience laughs) It's Cleveland from "The
Cleveland Show," ugly *** boy! (audience laughs) ♪ There's a hater in the
house, should I get him ♪ ♪ Let's get him. ♪ - Cameraman, put the camera
on auntie in the green, I'm on your ***.
- [Audience] Ooh! - 'Miss Cleo head' ***
(beep) wrong with you, ugly *** girl? (laughs) "How many wishes do you want?" (audience laughs) - Your answer is, a mother from the hood would say this. (DC groans)
(button rings) - What is, I mean, it's a roach but
it's in the Raisin Bran so you can just mix it up a little bit. It ain't gon'...
(audience laughs) - I ain't never heard that one. (buzzer rings)
(audience laughs) Things your parents said but never did. (button rings) - There's nothing, 'cause
my mama raised me well. Mama, you did everything baby! (audience cheers)
(bell dings) - Signs you're dating a Karen. (button rings)
- What is, "Hell no, you brought
mayonnaise to the barbecue." (audience laughs) (bell dings) - Only a scammer would say this. (DC groans)
(button rings) - What is, "Hell nah, the bank froze your account? Hell no." (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ - You're topic is celebrations. ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ We celebrating ♪ ♪ Y'all come let's party ♪ ♪ Matter of fact, DC ♪ ♪ You get it started ♪ ♪ I'ma get it started ♪ ♪ Oh, here go the cold ♪ ♪ Nick, we appreciate 300 episodes ♪ (audience cheers) ♪ 300 episodes with Fat Joe ♪ ♪ Y'all know everything, I got that flow ♪ ♪ Uh huh, you got that flow ♪ ♪ You'll never be whack ♪ ♪ You done already said ♪ ♪ That they had to give your job back ♪ ♪ 'Cause you that (beep) ♪ ♪ You already know where
to pull the trigger ♪ ♪ Yeah, you the one that
turn everybody bigger ♪ ♪ Yeah, to you I'ma
salute that, new jack ♪ ♪ And I'ma stand here
and I got your back ♪ ♪ Yo, he got my back ♪ ♪ And I appreciate that tight ♪ ♪ And everybody know that DC so nice ♪ ♪ New School Old School ♪ ♪ We gonna say this right ♪ ♪ Today's prices, nah ♪ ♪ Yesterday is Friday ♪ (audience cheers) ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ - Your topic is school subjects. ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it ♪ ♪ Please don't you laugh ♪ ♪ My father sold drugs ♪ ♪ So I'm good at math ♪ ♪ You good at math ♪ ♪ So what, little buddy ♪ ♪ I'm skipping class ♪ ♪ Especially social studies ♪ ♪ Especially social studies ♪ ♪ That packed a punch ♪ ♪ I'm skipping class and going to lunch ♪ ♪ Talking 'bout lunch ♪ ♪ Boy you is scrambling ♪ ♪ I'm in the bathroom ♪ ♪ (beep) I'm gambling ♪ ♪ You are gambling ♪ ♪ Boy, Spanish ♪ ♪ I love Latinos ♪ ♪ So I'm scoring in Spanish ♪ (DC rapping in foreign language) (audience cheers) ♪ And kill it and kill it and kill it ♪ (bell dings)
♪ Pick up and kill it ♪ ♪ And kill it and kill it ♪ - Your topic is Nick Cannon music. ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ If we keeping score ♪ ♪ I'm not a bore ♪ ♪ (beep) you know my
music better than yours ♪ - [Audience] Ooh!
♪ First of alls ♪ ♪ This topic is stupid ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ I ain't never heard your music ♪ ♪ Ain't never heard my music ♪ ♪ Every beat on this joke, I produced it ♪ ♪ Okay ♪
♪ So you heard it ♪ ♪ You got parted ♪ ♪ And matter of fact, I pay you ♪ ♪ So don't say a word, ***** ♪ ♪ Okay, ten to four ♪ ♪ I heard Gigolo ♪ ♪ Okay wait ♪ ♪ I remember B2K ♪ ♪ Uh uh, stop it, ♪ ♪ The other one, I forgot it (laughs) ♪ ♪ I forgot it ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ - Okay, the queen, LisaRaye, is so fly! - [Everyone] How fly is she? - She listens to her sister music with the volume off because she sounded so so dead! (bell dings)
(audience cheers) - [Nick] I see what you did there. - My boy G-Eazy is so fly. - [Everyone] How fly is he? - My boy done made a song
with everybody (scoffs) except Nick. (screams)
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
(audience cheers) - All right, Old School, wild out. - [Cast Member] Let's go DC!
(audience cheers) ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, ah ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, ah ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, ah ♪ - Silence, my minions!
(audience laughs) - I am LisaRaye thoughts. (chuckles) Man, (beep) why your head
look like Takashi84, boy? I'm on your ***, boy.
(audience laughs) Ain't nobody (chuckles)
(bell dings) (audience laughs)
Here we go. New Jersey, turn up! - [Everyone] Turn up for what? - I just checked my sperm count (audience laughs) and it says, Nick Cannon! (audience laughs)
(upbeat music) (bell dings)
♪ That's fertile, ♪ ♪That's fertile ♪ ♪ That's fertile ♪ - New Jersey, turn up! - [Everyone] Turn up for what? - Y'all ain't gonna believe
who we got in here, man. It ain't about me. It's about my boy, Buzz Lightyear, man. Turn up for my boy, Buzz Lightyear man! (upbeat music)
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
(audience cheering) ♪ To infinity and beyond ♪ ♪ To infinity and beyond ♪ (bell dings)
- And JV, ♪ I always stay with a scheme. ♪ ♪ It's crazy, your name is G, ♪ ♪ When they ain't no G's on your team. ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - [Nick] Ooh! - Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. - Yeah, she said you not a G. - Talking about I ain't no G and you think your ******* is goodie. (audience laughs) I knew you look familiar. If that's Buzz Lightyear, (beep) you Woody!
(audience laughs) (bell dings) Listen, Kid 'n Play. It's finna get wicked, now what y'all did back in the day, we ain't never forget it. It was stupid tremendous. I hope that you're listening. Now I'm the house party. That's a beautiful vision. Now what y'all did, yeah, I'ma carry the mission. I just wanna pay my respect 'cause (beep) we winning. (audience cheers)
- Woo! (bell dings) - That was the most gangster
compliment I ever heard. ♪ Yeah, you know, getting a medulla ♪ ♪ I hate your hair ♪ ♪ I just hate your hair ♪ ♪ I don't like your hair ♪ ♪ Why it look like that there ♪ ♪ Talking about that beard ♪ ♪ That ain't right ♪ ♪ Your career like her wig ♪ ♪ It ain't strapped up tight ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Oh.
(audience cheers) - Talking more to say - There we go, there we,
(bell dinging) (audience cheers) ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Go, where ♪ ♪ The back seat ♪ ♪ Of my ride ♪ ♪ The back seat of my ride ♪ ♪ I've got a dead body ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ You a fake DJ Khaled. ♪ ♪ The backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ I like eatin' salads ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ I bet you do, a thousand salads ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ (beep) your life ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ I'll (beep) your wife ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ That ain't nothing nice ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ See, I'm talking tonight ♪ ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Go, go ♪
(bell dings) ♪ Backseat of my ride ♪ ♪ Go, go ♪ ♪ Big 'ol, let's go ♪ ♪ Talk about a rusty, everybody lusty ♪ ♪ Listen, hold that, sucka you musty ♪ ♪ Ooh, big booty ♪ ♪ Big booty, booty, got a big ol' booty ♪ ♪ Okay, we do it, we
about to do it wild. ♪ ♪ You look like Bobby Proud. ♪ - [Cast Members] Ooh!
(buzzer rings) - Big booty, big booty, big booty. - (beep) you (beep)! (bell dinging) - Love you boy, it's your choice, everybody makes some noise!
(audience cheers) - Alright do the ugly *** little boy. (audience chants indistinctly) ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ (bell dings) ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ This my cousin-in-law ♪ ♪ And he ain't no joke ♪ ♪ Everywhere we go, he be like ♪ ♪ Bro, where's the coke ♪ (audience laughs) ♪ At the family reunion ♪
(bell dings) ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ This my cousin Stacy ♪ ♪ And she plays too much ♪ ♪ I'ma tell y'all at the house ♪ ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪ (audience laughs)
(buzzer rings) ♪ Okay now listen. ♪ ♪ I got a package for you. ♪ ♪ Your signature's the only
thing I'm asking from you. ♪ ♪ I forgot my line. ♪ ♪ No, I'm playing. ♪ ♪ Girl, I'm in my prime. ♪ (audience cheers) - Amazon.
- Ay! - She said Amazon.
(bell dings) - That ain't the job though, that's the company! She said Amazon.
(audience cheers) - From the New School, give me DC Young Fly. (audience cheers) Old School, give me Nick Cannon. Nick Cannon, I need you here, right there. Y'all clap it up for the boss man, here. Clap it up.
(audience cheers) (Emmanuel chants indistinctly) - DC, them jeans is gonna give
you a yeast infection. (audience laughs) - Boy, I know you ain't
talking, look at your outfit. Up here looking like some
badass Mexican candy, ugly *** (laughs)
(audience laughs) - I'm tired, you know? I was tired. I'm so sleepy. (yawns) I think I'ma take me a nap. (laughs) (audience laughs) - See that wasn't funny 'cause a lot of y'all out there laugh (beep) you look like that
when you take your wig off, (beep) wrong with you?
(audience laughs) What you talking 'bout?
(audience cheers) (whistle blows) - You out! - [Everyone] Got damned! (bell dings) - The scene is an extinction-level event. (audience cheers) - This is what my vagina felt like after DC Young Fly hit it. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - I just want to make this clear. It was already burning
before I got in here. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Your scene is, in a shoe store. - God ****. Hey Justina, all these boxes got ****** in them? (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Your scene is an interrogation room. - Hey boy.
- Hm? - Got that Popeyes you
ordered, extra crispy. - That's right.
- Yeah. - Mm. (tongue clicking) Okay now, it was Terry. Terry was driving the street (indistinct) (audience laughs) Now hold up,
(bell dings) I know two more crimes!
(audience laughs) - Your scene is a trailer park. (audience laughs) - Hey, you got this little *** chain like a (beep) can jump in your yard. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - The scene is a private airport. - It's your boy, I'm about to get on this
jet, you know, jet life, ain't nothing going on, a whole lot of player
(beep) been doin' this, mister 106 and--
- Bow Wow, bring your stupid *** home man (beep). (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (audience member laughs) Ay, somebody in there? (audience laughs) - Come on, (beep)
everybody in! (indistinct) (audience laughs) (bell dings) - The scene is, in Italy. (audience cheers) - Bro, I've never been to no church that ain't had no roof
but (beep) crazy as hell. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Are you not entertained? (audience laughs) - That's gladiator, that's good. - Are you not gonna give me the bell? - See,
(bell dings) that's why I like black pastors. That (beep) crazy as hell. (Nick and audience laugh)
(bell dings) - Your scene is, the stone age. (DC groans) - Oh man.
- Look what I got us man. Dinner, man. - What? A squirrel again? (audience laughs)
(bell dings) Oh hold up! I think they were pregnant! (laughs) (audience laughs) I'm so hungry. Lord have mercy, where is my friend? - I went and got us a feast this time. - What you?
(audience laughs) A whale? (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, hands up ♪ ♪ Get that money ♪ ♪ Got that glove ♪ ♪ How much you want it, $4 ♪ ♪ Ay ♪ ♪ Got that card ♪ ♪ Decline, give me more problem ♪ ♪ Ay ♪ (bell dings)
♪ Listen ♪ ♪ Right there go on
and take the hats off ♪ ♪ And look, you so easy ♪ just like that scratch off.
- Ooh! ♪ Five, ten, fifteen, twenty ♪
(bell dings) ♪ Hands up ♪ ♪ Get that money ♪ ♪ Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, hands up ♪ ♪ Get that money ♪ ♪ My money serious ♪ ♪ It'll leave you delirious ♪ ♪ They be in fear of this (beep) ♪ ♪ They can't get near to this ♪ ♪ I see the lady with the
tampon and I'm curious ♪ ♪ how much do she want for it ♪ ♪ 'Cause I just got my period ♪ ♪ Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, hands up ♪ ♪ (bell dings) ♪
♪ Get that money ♪ ♪ Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, hands up ♪ ♪ Get that money ♪ ♪ I'm so delirious ♪ ♪ Hold on, my name is Serious (laughs) ♪ (audience laughs) - Your answer is, Wild 'n Out cast members'
childhood nicknames. (button rings) - What is, DC Young Fly? Ugly *** little boy. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ (button rings)
- What is, they used to call Nick, (clicks tongue) 'So I can't play for the band no more?' (audience laughs) (bell dings) - [Cast Member] That's
my favorite movie though. - Okay, your answer is, signs your significant
other is for the streets. (button rings) - What is, if you found (beep)
walking, what you mean, this (beep) for the
streets (beep)! (laughs) (audience cheers)
(bell dings) - You stupid. - Your answer is, the coldest movie lines. - Ooh!
- Ooh! (button rings)
- What is, you mean like actually cold, like, "Jack, Jack, Jack".
(audience laughs) (DJ laughs)
(bell dings) - Your answer is, 'Nick Cannon
will get you pregnant if'. - Just in case, if y'all really need to know if y'all wanna get pregnant by OG. (button rings)
What is, you gotta let me hit first and I'm gonna tell him how it is, and then he's going.
(audience laughs) (bell dings) I'ma let you know, OG,
I'm gon' let you know! - Your answer is, ways to come up on a tank of gas. (button rings)
- Ah, what is, which way you going? That way? I'll take you (beep). You got some gas money? (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Your answer is, signs he's into white girls. (button rings)
- What is, excuse me ma'am, is this
(beep) bothering you? (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Hold up, hold up! This a good one! (button rings)
What is, I don't know nothing about that, 'cause I love my black queens. (audience cheers) (bell dings) - Your answer is, you can say this at dinner and during sex. (button rings)
- What is, (growling)
(audience laughs) - What does that have to do with dinner? - This how I eat my food! (audience laughs) (buzzer rings)
- Get out of here man. - What! - People don't eat like that!
(audience laughs) (button rings)
- What is, (clicks tongue) ooh, that's a little too salty. (audience cheers)
(bell dings) (button rings)
What is, I said, (growling). (Nick and audience laugh) (audience laughs)
(buzzer rings) (audience cheers)
- Your answer is, they call it blank, but I call it blank. (button rings)
- They call it ambulance, but I call it ambulance. (bell dings)
(button rings) They call it seven, I call it seven. (bell dings)
(button rings) They call it eleven, I call it leven. (bell dings)
(button rings) They call it, you beautiful but you ugly ***, ugly ***.
(audience laughs) (bell dings) - [Nick] Let's go, DC!
(audience cheers) - Your answer is, Atlanta is best known for. (button rings) - What is,
(button ringing) - What it, "Nephew, what's up baby!" (audience laughs) Baby!
(bell dings) (button rings) - (grunting) Ah! (bell dings)
(audience cheers) (DC yells indistinctly) (button rings)
(beep) you forgot one (beep) (DC sings indistinctly)
(audience cheers) (bell dings) (drum beat)
♪ It's my birthday ♪ (drum beat) ♪ It's my birthday ♪ (drum beat) ♪ It's my birthday ♪ (drum beat) - I'ma buzz his ***, I don't care if he's, ♪ It's my birthday ♪ (drum beat)
(buzzer rings) ♪ It's my birthday ♪ (drum beat) ♪ On my birthday ♪ (drum beat) ♪ It's my birthday ♪ (drum beat)
(buzzer rings) ♪ It's my birthday! ♪ ♪ My name DC ♪
♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ ATL fo'sho ♪
♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Waiting for my partner ♪ ♪ So I hit the Tootsie Roll ♪ - Ooh!
(bell dings) (drum beat) ♪ It's my birthday ♪ - Alright y'all Your topic is sitting courtside. ♪ Hey put me in coach ♪ ♪ Put me in coach ♪ ♪ Put me in coach ♪ ♪ Now you wild out ♪ ♪ Give me your jersey ♪ ♪ Give me your jersey ♪ ♪ Give your jersey. ♪ ♪ Now you wild out ♪ ♪ I'm tripping the players ♪ ♪ I'm tripping the players ♪ ♪ I'm tripping the players ♪ ♪ Now you wild out ♪ ♪ This ain't my seat ♪ ♪ This ain't my seat ♪ ♪ This ain't my seat ♪ ♪ Now you wild out ♪ ♪ Hey this my homeboy ♪ ♪ This my homeboy ♪ ♪ This my homeboy ♪ ♪ Now you wild out ♪ ♪ He not supposed to be here ♪ ♪ He not supposed to be here ♪ ♪ He not supposed to be here ♪ ♪ Now you wild out ♪ ♪ I put nuts in the rim! ♪
(audience laughs) (bell dings) (bell dinging) (audience cheers) - New School, wild out. - [Cast Member] DC!
- [Nick] Let's go, DC. (audience cheers) - (laughs) What's up quick? - What up b? - I (beep) ain't, you off limits. (audience laughs) But I'm on your *** boy. What you think, you
probably scare somebody but, how the hell you gang stand and your got **** knees touch, ugly *** (laughs)
(audience laughs) Y'all know how this (beep)
talk outside of here? "Man DC, I really (beep) with you man." (DC laughs)
(audience laughs) Y'all aint gon' laugh?
(audience laughs) You laugh all the time. How you gangster with
a keloid on your ear, ugly *** boy. (indistinct)
(audience laughs) You hard but your ear
ain't, ugly *** (beep) (buzzer rings)
(audience cheers) (DC laughs) (bell dings) - You just look funny. Make Chuck laugh. - Make Chuck laugh? (audience laughs) You look like you hate to fart, ugly *** boy (laughs)
(audience laughs) (bell dings) (Nick laughs)
(audience cheers) - Uh oh oh, New School catching up. (DC laughs)
(audience laughs) - Who on here? (audience laughs)
(DC laughs) Who you talking to on this mother (beep)? (audience laughs) You gotta cover up like
Micheal Jackson? (scats) (bell dings)
(audience laugh) (DJ laughs) I'm sorry, our ice cream machine down. (laughs) (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (bell dinging) - [Nick] There it is. That's how we do! (audience cheers)
- Ooh! (beep) - You have reached the
mother(beep) Bernie Mac, you hear me?
(audience cheers) Now I done told you I
ain't got no mother (beep) milk and cookies.
(audience laughs) Hear what I'm saying? And if you thought you were
going to talk to me then, bust a move! (laughs) (bell dings)
(audience cheers) ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ - Your topic is sneaky links. ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Got sneaky links ♪ ♪ That is what's up ♪ ♪ Your girl in my phone ♪ ♪ As Pizza Hut ♪ ♪ Pizza Hut ♪ ♪ Hold, that's (beep) is crazy ♪ ♪ 'Cause last night ♪ ♪ I had your main lady ♪ ♪ You had my lady ♪ ♪ Man that's whack ♪ ♪ She (beep) just disappear ♪ ♪ I texted Snapchat ♪ ♪ Talking about Snapchat ♪ ♪ Wow, that's funny ♪ ♪ You were texting me ♪ ♪ (beep) you said that's my name ♪ ♪ And kill it and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ - Your topic is farming. ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Okay, dogs, pigs, turkeys, eggs, ♪ ♪ DC, you've got chicken legs ♪ ♪ Chicken leg ♪ ♪ Hold up ♪ ♪ Paul, look at your eyes, boy ♪ ♪ You built like a frog ♪ ♪ Built like a frog ♪ ♪ You think you slick ♪ ♪ DC, you're built like a veggie stick ♪ ♪ Veggie stick ♪ ♪ Uh uh, no talk ♪ ♪ Justina look like a (beep) goat, eh-eh ♪ ♪ Look like a goat ♪ ♪ - Bah! ♪
♪ That's fo'sho ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪ ♪ Oh, I said, oh, that's fo'sho ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ - Your topic is gender reveals. ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it ♪ ♪ Gender reveal ♪ ♪ Pink and blue shirts ♪ ♪ We only here cause Plan B didn't work ♪ ♪ Plan B didn't work ♪ ♪ But guess what, toy (laughs) ♪ ♪ I'm having a boy, ay ♪ ♪ Having a boy, that might be true ♪ ♪ I hope that (beep) don't look like you ♪ - [Audience] Ooh! You're ugly as (beep), DC.
(audience laughs) (bell dings) (audience cheers) - All right. Excuse me, Mr. Andrew, sir.
- Yes, sir. - I am your lawyer and I don't need you to say
nothing else, all right. - Yes sir.
(audience laughs) Now Nick Cannon,
(Nick chuckles) according to my documents here, uh huh, you had a show that was on MTV called "Wild 'n Out,"
that got canceled, right? You had a show that was on Fox, it was your talk show, that was quite good that got canceled, okay.
(audience laughs) Which fire hurt the most? - [Audience] Ooh! Because you know MTV brought you back but Fox said, "You take
your funky *** home". (audience laughs) - But you know, neither one of 'em hurt
because like I say, you can't fire a boss. (audience cheers) - I mean, I mean, you, I mean, they still ain't
called you back, so I don't... (audience laughs)
(Nick laughs) (audience cheers) Let's go! Are you ready? - I'm ready. - Now listen. All right, check this out. ♪ You stay across the
street and it's all good ♪ ♪ I stay with my daddy in the hood ♪ ♪ Uh huh. ♪
(buzzer rings) - I said
- You said the word. - I stay with my daddy in the hood!
- In the hood - It's called the hood - Oh, (beep) this game, man! - You said the whole movie title except for the word 'boys'. (bell dinging)
(audience cheers) - Ah! All right, now listen. ♪ Me and my partner real cool ♪ ♪ We be smoking drugs up in school ♪ ♪ I'm talking about that ZaZa, that gas ♪ ♪ We be high as hell up in class ♪ (buzzer rings)
(audience laughs) - You said 'high'.
(bell dinging) You said 'high'. (audience laughs) - I am Hannah thoughts. (Hannah laughs)
(DC laughs) Your thoughts sound a
little manly, I know. If that's Justina Valentine, then this Justina Easter Egg, ugly *** boy.
(bell dings) - [Nick] Not Justina Easter Egg. (laughs) (audience cheers) - Oh boy, ooh. (beep)
(audience laughs) Chico, you right this mother
(indistinct) is crazy. (beeps)
(audience laughs) Oh, got ****! This how Justina talk, got ****. (audience laughs) (bell dings) (audience cheers)
(DC screams) (pants) I know how to (beep) in Hebrew. (audience laughs)
(DC grunting) (audience laughs) (DC grunts) You gotta get under that booty (groans) (bell dings)
(audience laughs) - Man, both of y'all, that's two spits.
(bell dings) - (yells indistinctly) No!
(audience laughs) - You gon' do my partner like that? - Yeah! - When you got that girl
up there in the purple standing there looking like
an action figure (beep)? (audience laughs) - Oh DC, wait a minute.
- That's what we doing? - Hold up.
- You think that's something? - That's what we doing?
- (indistinct) this. - Watch this, DC. - Get up there, Lowes. - Now you can't even see me. (audience laughs) (bell dings) (bell dings) (bell dinging) - The award goes to Amareta. (DC grunts)
(audience cheers) - Well I just wanna tell everybody who not from Atlanta, (audience laughs) DeKalb County, not Atlanta. Gainesville, not Atlanta. Covington, Not Atlanta
- [Everyone] Not Atlanta. - Cali Park, Not Atlanta
- [Everyone] Not Atlanta. - Stone Mountain, Not Atlanta
- [Everyone] Not Atlanta. - Douglasville, Not Atlanta
- [Everyone] Not Atlanta. - Scottsdale, Not Atlanta
- [Everyone] Not Atlanta. - So basically what I'm just
trying to tell y'all is, you not Atlanta, okay?
(audience laughs) Thank you.
(bell dings) ATL, turn me up! - [Everyone] Turn up for what? - Not only did Nick bring women on the show that looked like us, he also brought women on the show that's built like us. Pretty Vee, come on!
(audience cheers) (upbeat music)
(audience chanting) (bell dings) ATL turn up! - [Everyone] Turn up for what? - 'Cause the skin on her lace front match the skin on her forehead! (upbeat music)
(audience laughs) (bell dings) - The real ATL turn up! - [Everyone] Turn up for what? - 'Cause I'm having a baby boy! (audience cheers) (upbeat music) - Me too, me too! Me too, me too! Me too me too...
(audience laughs) ♪ (laughs) Now listen here ♪ ♪ You know I'm with the New School ♪ ♪ And once again, you
know we playing too cool ♪ ♪ Yeah, uh huh, we hot as a sauna ♪ ♪ And look at your outfit ♪ ♪ Make me wanna go watch Moana ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Wait, wait, wait, wait. ♪ DC, DC, why you come at me ♪ ♪ You supposed to be my
little brother, man ♪ ♪ How you gone flee ♪ ♪ And then try to run
off like you is the ski ♪ ♪ Don't this (beep) hair ♪ ♪ Look like some regular weed (laughs) ♪ (audience laughs) - Oh, oh, oh, hold on, hold on ♪ You talking about my hair ♪ ♪ Hold up ♪ ♪ You're built like a nasty
Fruit Roll-Up (laughs) ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Hold up, hold up. ♪ Fruit Roll Up ♪ ♪ Dog, you don't want it ♪ ♪ These chain's so small ♪ ♪ Ain't they supposed to
have candy on it (laughs) ♪ (audience laughs)
- Hey, hold on. Wait a minute. I'm out.
- 'Cause they skinny. - Okay, okay, okay, okay. ♪ You know what, uh huh ♪ ♪ There's a little trick ♪ ♪ Talking about candy ♪ ♪ This tastes like your (beep) ♪ - [Audience] Ooh! - Stand up. Hey yo, stay down there!
- Hell nah! - Do that for me DC please. (beep) you know you used
to being on your knees. - [Audience] Ooh! (bell dings) - You know what? I hear what you saying. Yes, I'm used to be on my knees because (beep) I be praying. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (bell dinging)
(audience cheers) Listen, ♪ Won't be no stroking ♪ ♪ I'd rather use my lotion ♪ (drum beat)
(audience laughs) (buzzer rings) - That was it? - That was it, that's all I had! (cast member speaks indistinctly) (Justina laughs)
(bell dings) (cast members arguing) - 'Cause you gotta
watch your mouth, Clips. Talking about Bobby. Looking like you want some bubble gum. And you, you fake DJ Khaled, when you go to Subway, you be like, "Make another one."
- Another one. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (bell dinging)
(audience cheers) - Oh. Please come here, Courtney. I love you girl!
- I'm sick of you. I'm sick of you DC! ♪ Ooh, when I see you ♪ ♪ I want to get nasty like a scooter ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ when I see you girl ♪ ♪ I'll make love to your fupa ♪ (Courtney screams)
(audience laughs) (bell dings) Now Slim. - [Slim] Huh? - Huh, hell you heard me. ♪ I think there's something
you need to know ♪ (audience laughs)
(Nick laughs) ♪ I gave your girl my slim ♪ ♪ And she was like, oh-oh ♪ (audience laughs) Now Courtney Bee, come up here girl. (bell dings)
Let me tell you why you shouldn't (beep) with me. - Okay! - 'Cause at the barbecue, I know you like Frito-Lays, (scoffs) but you up here built like the octopus of "The Mermaid." (audience laughs)
(Courtney screams) (bell dings) - No.
- Wow. - How you like that? - DC no fly, (audience laughs) You look like, - A small fry.
(audience laughs) - Thank you. - [Cast Member] Uh huh. You got it. - If I sit on you, you will die. - Aha
- Facts. - Right between your thigh. (audience laughs) (bell dings) Okay, my bad. Nicholas Cannon could. Now look, ♪ You couldn't do it ♪ ♪ So you brought your
trick, trick, trick ♪ ♪ And when you move ♪ ♪ Your whole outfit be
like, (imitates swishing). ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (cast member speaks indistinctly) Whole outfit like ♪ swish swish swish. ♪ ♪ When he move, his whole outfit go ♪ ♪ Swish swish swish ♪ ♪ Where ♪
♪ His whole outfit go ♪ ♪ Swish swish swish ♪ ♪ Yo, DC make fun of my outfit ♪ ♪ He said it goes swish,
swish, swish, and it tricks ♪ ♪ But I can tell you ♪ ♪ I can go swish, swish,
swish in your (beep) ♪ ♪ And I gotta get it going ♪ ♪ Get your crack in the lot ♪ ♪ As matter of fact we does this ♪ ♪ We packing a lot ♪ ♪ 'cause this team ♪ ♪ Winning ♪ ♪ This something we does that ♪ ♪ Your whole scrawl look
like mother (beep) Rugrats ♪ ♪ And I'ma put it out here ♪ ♪ 'Cause the thugs at ♪ ♪ This (beep) right here
look like the dude like ♪ ♪ Hey girl, where my hug at ♪ (audience cheers)
(bell dings) ♪ (indistinct) time machine ♪ (bell dinging) ♪ (indistinct) time machine ♪ ♪ Swish swish swish ♪ ♪ (indistinct) time machine ♪ ♪ Swish swish swish ♪ ♪ Yo, Old School, who running with Nick ♪ ♪ I hope you (beep) know
my temperature's a 106 ♪ ♪ Since a kid ♪ ♪ I always kept it (beep) the whip ♪ ♪ And like the third little piggy ♪ ♪ I just jumped in the bricks ♪ ♪ You wanna be great ♪ ♪ My temperature 108 ♪
(bell dings) ♪ A big dog in his yard ♪ ♪ Do not jump on a kick ♪ ♪ Let me find out DC on it ♪ ♪ Walk to his face ♪ ♪ And his twin sister too ♪ ♪ Bop, watch your face, yeah ♪ - [Audience] Ooh!
(bell dings) - Okay, so you wanna (indistinct) fine ♪ Well, guess what ♪ ♪ My temperature on 109 ♪ ♪ And yeah ♪ ♪ Get a nine in it ♪ ♪ You an ATL boy ♪ ♪ I lean with it (scoffs) ♪ ♪ Then I rock with it. ♪ - [Audience] Ooh!
(bell dings) (upbeat music) ♪ Now, I'm the leader of
the New School, yeah ♪ ♪ And you know how we too cool ♪ ♪ What happened ♪ ♪ Look, you don't wanna start no beef ♪ ♪ I just had a newborn baby ♪ ♪ Can I use your car seat ♪ ♪ Now listen ♪ - Oh!
(bell dings) ♪ Look, you eat too much ♪ ♪ I know you like (beep) look ♪ ♪ I beat it enough, what ♪ (audience laughs) (buzzer rings) ♪ It's true ♪ ♪ She's shaped like a lizard ♪ ♪ And you are too ♪ (DC laughs)
(audience laughs) (bell dinging) - You shaped like a lizard. (audience cheers) - [Justina] DC - [Nick] I told you, we rap for real. - Me? Oh my goodness, Why would you do this? ♪ Wildstyle ♪
- Hey, Ray Vaughn, come back. - Oh man. Oh, man. ♪ Okay, yo, yo ♪ ♪ Okay, look ♪ ♪ DC, you could never get a strip tease ♪ ♪ DC on your head ♪ ♪ That must stand for (beep) cheese ♪ ♪ And Ray Vaughn ♪
(bell dings) ♪ You know that I'm never scared ♪ ♪ T-D-E must stand for
tiny (beep) everywhere ♪ - [Audience] Ooh!
(bell dings) - All right.
- Including you. - Okay. That was nice.
- Get her. - Now,
- Get her! ♪ Justina ♪ ♪ I heard your rapping ♪ ♪ Uh huh, yeah I heard you snapping ♪ ♪ Now look at your team ♪ ♪ They're all in suspense ♪ ♪ Look at your outfit ♪ ♪ You're wrapped up in a fence ♪ (DC laughs)
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
♪ And you tried to climb it ♪ ♪ That little (beep)
that couldn't find it ♪ - (audience laughs) (bell dings) (Cast Members arguing) ♪ Talking 'bout Sisqó ♪ ♪ Man, that's my kin ♪ ♪ You up here dressed like you
got this from City Trends ♪ (beep)
(bell dings) ♪ And you know you fat as hell ♪ ♪ You ate two minutes ago ♪ ♪ **** well now ♪ ♪ I'm talking con ♪ ♪ Condescending ♪ ♪ You know what's up ♪ ♪ 'Cause con be trending ♪ ♪ Con be trending ♪
(bell dings) ♪ Look but ♪ ♪ Con is friendly because I
had his (beep) last night ♪ ♪ Like (beep) huh ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dinging) (audience cheers) - No! I though we was friends! - [Cast Member] Uh oh!
(beep) - ****! I thought we was friends! (audience laughs) - Oh no! Oh no!
(audience laughs) - Wow.
- Okay. - Wow.
- Okay. - Listen, ♪ Uh, I'm about to spit it (scoffs) ♪ ♪ I get with it ♪ ♪ I'm talking witty ♪ ♪ I get silly ♪ ♪ Listen, y'all know can't uh ♪ ♪ (beep) with it ♪ ♪ Uh, listen ♪ ♪ I don't like your candy ♪ ♪ Got nuts in it ♪ ♪ Uh (laughs) ♪
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
(audience cheers) Cut it off, I'm so sick of this (beep). I'm sick of it!
(audience laughs) Now listen, Nick. You know I (beep) with you but everybody on your team so old at least y'all could've did one episode of The Huxtables. (audience laughs)
- Ah! (bell dings) - It was called "The Cosby Show." - I wasn't born when it was out. (audience laughs) ♪ Now listen, Jon B ♪ ♪ You ain't say nothing ♪ ♪ My team, yeah we keep it jumping ♪ ♪ (beep) and miss me with the foolery ♪ ♪ You need to change your name ♪ ♪ To Jon-used-to-be ♪ (beep) man.
- [Everyone] Oh! - You want me to get him?
(bell dings) You want me to get him?
- That was whack! - That was whack!
♪ Wildstyle ♪ - [Cast Member] That was whack. - Okay, all right, all right. ♪ You came at Jon B ♪ ♪ Man, why oh why ♪ ♪ You need to change your
name to DC Never-Been-Fly ♪ - [Everyone] Oh!
(bell dings) - All right. Hey D-Wrek, cut the beat. (record scratches) ♪ Hey Bobby ♪ ♪ Don't make me go crazy ♪ ♪ And get on my ill (beep) ♪ ♪ Because your whole
team will get rocked ♪ ♪ Turn me into Will Smith ♪ - [Nick] Woo!
(audience cheers) ♪ And DC ♪
(bell dings) ♪ I'm gonna make you cry ♪ ♪ How you got on high-water jeans ♪ ♪ But you leave every ***** dry? ♪ (audience laughs)
- Ooh! (bell dings) - Because I sucked the
(beep) out their (beep). (Nick and audience laughs) I know you ain't talking. Uh huh, looking real sloppy.
- Ah? - Look, she a thot, that's why she got lips all over her body. - [Audience] Ooh!
(bell dings) (drum beat) ♪ It's my birthday ♪ (drum beat) ♪ It's my birthday ♪ (drum beat) ♪ It's my birthday ♪ (drum beat) - I'ma buzz his ***, I don't care if, ♪ It's my birthday ♪ (drum beat)
(buzzer rings) ♪ It's my birthday ♪ (drum beat) ♪ I have a birthday ♪ (drum beat)
(audience cheers) ♪ It's my birthday! ♪ (drum beat)
(buzzer rings) ♪ It's my birthday! ♪
(audience cheers) (cast members chanting indistinctly) ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, hey ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ - Silencio!
(audience cheers) - Hey bro, do your thing, bro. Do your thing, DC.
(audience laughs) Do your thing.
- That supposed to be me? - Do your thing. - You know what, matter of fact, (beep) you. He wanna ask the question anyway. (audience laughs) Come on, my boy, I told you I got you. It's yo debut my boy! (laughs)
(audience laughs) "Boy, you told me you had me boy." (audience laughs) Nick Cannon, what's up boy? Your music always have me dead! (audience laughs)
(DJ laughs) Woo! (speaks indistinctly) (cast members speaking indistinctly) - Woo!
- Do it again, do it again. - Woo!
(audience cheers) Okay, any who, any who, I like my wings with the
bone in and skinless. (audience laughs) Woo! - [Nick] Ask the **** question! - Woo! - About to get a buzzer. - Ask the question! - Can I get uh, can I keep going? (laughs)
(audience laughs) Congregation, can I keep going? (team members chant indistinctly) - Woo!
(audience laughs) (skeleton hand tapping) - [Nick] Ask the question, man. (DC grunts)
(audience laughs) - All right, here we go. So, you're in the bando,
cooking up some work, right? - Okay. - Okay, you handling your business. Now, you got 10 grams on the left and one kilo on the right. Which one is larger? - 10 gram... - Come on now.
- The kilo. - No!
(audience laughs) You wrong (beep)! It's the ten thousand grams
but any who, it's all good. - You said 10 grams! - Woo! You said 10.
(bell dings) Get your dumb *** over there, DC. (bell dinging)
- Woo! - Okay. Here we go. ♪ We finna pull up and hit the wall ♪ ♪ We finna pull up and hit the wall ♪ ♪ We finna pull up and hit the wall ♪ ♪ We finna pull up and hit the wall ♪ ♪ We finna pull up and hit the wall ♪ (audience cheers) - Top that! ♪ Y'all don't want no smoke ♪ ♪ 'Cause we got them lighters ♪ ♪ Y'all don't want no smoke ♪ ♪ 'Cause we got them lighters ♪ ♪ Y'all don't want no smoke ♪ ♪ 'Cause we got them lighters ♪ - Sing it to em, man.
♪ Y'all don't want no smoke ♪ ♪ 'Cause we got them lighters ♪ ♪ We want the smoke ♪ - Come on! ♪ We want the smoke ♪ - Come on, I said, ♪ We want the smoke ♪ - Come on! ♪ We want the smoke ♪ ♪ I bet you won't ♪ ♪ Pull up, pull up ♪ ♪ I bet you won't ♪ ♪ Pull up, pull up ♪ ♪ I bet you won't ♪
♪ Pull up, pull up ♪ ♪ I bet you won't ♪ ♪ Pull up, pull up ♪ ♪ I said, (imitates tire
screeching) I'm here ***** ♪ ♪ (imitating tire
screeching) I'm here ***** ♪ ♪ I said (imitating tire
screeching) I'm here ***** ♪ ♪ I said (imitating tire
screeching) I'm here ***** ♪ (audience laughs) - [DJ] Yeah, Black side. ♪ We got health insurance ♪ ♪ We got health insurance ♪ ♪ We got health insurance ♪ ♪ We got health insurance ♪ ♪ We got Obamacare ♪ ♪ We got Obamacare ♪ ♪ We got Obamacare ♪ ♪ We got Obamacare ♪ ♪ Everybody over there ugly as hell ♪ ♪ Everybody over there ugly as hell ♪ ♪ Everybody over there ugly as hell ♪ ♪ Everybody over there ugly as hell ♪ ♪ Your auntie got one leg ♪ ♪ Your auntie got one leg ♪ ♪ Your auntie got one leg ♪ ♪ Your auntie got one leg ♪ ♪ Your mama ain't got no edges ♪ ♪ Your mama ain't got no edges ♪ ♪ Your mama ain't got no edges ♪ ♪ Your mama ain't got no edges ♪ ♪ So? It's a lace front ♪ ♪ I said ♪
♪ So? it's a lace front ♪ ♪ I said ♪
♪ So? it's a lace front ♪ (bell dinging)
(air horn) (audience cheers) - Give me DeRay Davis, here. I need you here, DeRay. (audience cheers) Give me DC Young Fly. (audience cheers) (Emmanuel chants indistinctly) - DC, if you don't get your, 'hookah pipe body shaped ***' outta here. (imitates smoking a hookah) (beep) up out of here (beep)!
(DC screams) - Boy, your head look like every girl when they take they lace front off, "Girl,
(audience laughs) look what it did to me!"
(audience laughs) - If you don't get yo, 'Timberland with the
tree chopped off shoes' wearing *** out of here. - That's pretty funny. - DC, you got a tattoo of a fat
you on your back *** (beep)! (audience laughs) - How the hell you light-skinned with a Mexican beard? Ugly! (laughs)
(audience laughs) That (beep) got the LEGO chin, ugly *** lookin'
(audience laughs) - I see you doing the face. - I see him doin', Oh, oh, he doing faces! - You!
- He doing faces! He doing faces! - Out! - [Everyone] Got damned! (bell dings)
(audience cheers) - This doesn't have an expiration. (DC grunts) (button rings) - What doesn't have an expiration? That (beep) shirt, that's (beep) (laughs) (bell dings)
(audience laughs) (bell dinging)
(air horn) (audience cheering) - Hey, leave my man alone! (beep) so fly. You rockin' this (beep) ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ - Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay (laughs). ♪ At the family reunion ♪ - You got one--
- All right, all right! (buzzer rings)
♪ Who we introducin' ♪ I got one more time.
♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ This my cousin Stacy ♪ ♪ And she plays too much ♪ ♪ I'm gonna tell y'all at the house ♪ ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, (laughs) ♪ (buzzer rings)
(audience laughs) ♪ At the family reunion ♪ ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ ♪ This my cousin here ♪ ♪ And her lashes are a killer ♪ ♪ Who we introducin' ♪ (audience laughs)
(Nick laughs) (audience cheers)
- Your topic is graduation. (upbeat music) ♪ I (beep) my teacher, did that ♪ ♪ I (beep) my teacher, did that ♪ ♪ I (beep) my teacher, did that ♪ ♪ Now you wild out ♪ ♪ You didn't make it ♪ ♪ You didn't make it ♪ ♪ You didn't make it ♪ ♪ Now you wild out ♪ ♪ I put the (scats) on the table ♪ ♪ I slapped my (scats) on your table ♪ ♪ I slapped my (scats) on your table ♪ ♪ I slapped my (scats) ♪ (DC scats)
(audience laughs) ♪ Now you wild out ♪ - (Red Squad scatting)
(audience laughs) ♪ Now you wild out ♪ (DC scatting)
(audience laughs) ♪ Now you wild out ♪ ♪ Whoop-de-scoop ♪ ♪ Whoop-de-scoop ♪ ♪ Whoop-de-scoop ♪ ♪ Now you wild out ♪ - You stupid.
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
You stupid. (Red Squad yelling)
(bell dinging) (air horn)
(audience cheers) (DC laughs)
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
(audience cheers) - You just look funny. Make Chuck laugh. - Make Chuck laugh? (audience laughs) You look like you hate to fart. Ugly *** boy (laughs)
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
(Nick laughs) (audience cheers) - Uh-oh-oh, New School catching up. - (laughs) Who on here? (audience laughs) (laughs) Who you talking
to on this mother (beep)? (audience laughs) You gotta cover up like
Micheal Jackson? (scats) (bell dings)
(audience laughs) - (laughs) I can't (indistinct) - I'm sorry, our ice cream machine down. (laughs) (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (bell dinging) - [Nick] There it is! That's how we do! - Go on and make some noise for Will! (audience cheers)
Make some noise for Will loud! - Your word is 'arbitrary'. ♪ (speaks gibberish) All right ♪ ♪ Y'all ready, here we go ♪ ♪ Man, check this out ♪ ♪ Look, look, look ♪ ♪ My mama mama, we drama, drama ♪ ♪ We llama, we talk about ♪ ♪ All right, I'm just playing ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ Here we go ♪ ♪ Look ♪ ♪ I can't go to court, I'm very scary ♪ ♪ We just passed the month of February ♪ ♪ Look ♪ ♪ Weary is hairy ♪ ♪ And boy you look like
your name is Arbitrary ♪ (buzzer rings)
♪ Ugly *** boy ♪ (audience laughs) (audience laughs) (audience cheers) (audience cheers) - All right. Excuse me, Mr. Andrew, sir.
- Yes sir. - I am your lawyer and I don't need you to say
nothing else, all right? - Yes sir.
(audience laughs) Now Nick Cannon, according to my documents here, uh huh, you had a show that was on MTV called "Wild 'n Out,"
that got canceled, right? You had a show that was on Fox, it was your talk show, that was quite good that got canceled, okay.
(audience laughs) Which fire hurt the most? - [Audience] Ooh! - Because you know MTV brought you back but Fox said, "You take
your funky *** home". (audience laughs) - But you know, neither one of 'em hurt
because like I say, you can't fire a boss. (audience cheers) - I mean, I mean, you, I mean, they still ain't
called you back, so I don't... (audience laughs)
(Nick laughs) (audience cheers) - Come on now, DC. - What's up Nick, you good? - What's happening, John-John? - Yeah, that's my name, that's my name. (audience laughs) - If you had a trash can, right? Okay? Which one of these would you throw away? Okay? Your music career, your movie career, or her braids, which one would you? (audience cheers) - ****, why? - Sweetheart, I think
your braids are beautiful. (girl speaks indistinctly) Your Nubian braids. But I love my music and my movies, so I'm gonna plead the Fifth. - Yes!
(bell dings) - Don't let him talk about you like that. Your braids are beautiful. (audience cheers) - That's my little brother, y'all. My blood brother. He wanted to be something with his life. And look at him. He a college graduate, now he on this show.
(audience cheers) - Now, remember all that stuff you was telling me about
love's at the crib. So we gonna get to the bottom of this bro, we about to find out right now. - All right.
- Okay. - Big *** shoes.
(audience laughs) I'm on your team, I'm sorry. - Man, leave me alone. All right. (audience laughs) - [DC] Hey (beep) shoes big!
(audience laughs) - Ah! ♪ I say they call him big stomp ♪ - Cannons got big feet!
♪ Big stomp ♪ - Anyway, I'm trying to ask your man some very important questions right now. - Let your shoes ask. - Get it out.
(audience laughs) - Hey man.
(DC screams) - Order in this court please, DJ D-Wrek? - He want the shoe, nothing but the shoe! (audience laughs) (buzzer rings) (Nick's brother stutters) - Shoo!
(audience laughs) - Shoo! - Shoo! - [Black Team] Shoo, shoo, shoo! - [Cast Member] Shoo! - [Cast Members] Shoo, shoo,
shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo! (everyone laughing) (bell dinging)
(air horn) (audience applauds) - Rest in peace Samuel L. Jackson. - [Cast Member] Let's go.
Let's go (indistinct) DC! (DC screeches)
(audience laughs) - (beep) Got bit by a snake on a plane! (audience laughs)
(DC screeches) He ain't lyn'. (screeches)
(audience laughs) Samuel L. Jackson. This (beep) ain't never been this quiet, hasn't it?
(audience laughs) (buzzer rings)
(audience laughs) (audience applauds) (DC screeches) My boy Nick Cannon is so fly! - [Everyone] How fly is he? - He told me that we was
going to reshoot this in the summertime in Atlanta. And I know it's gon' be hot so I made him buy all
the women lace fronts! (audience cheers) (buzzer rings) Uh, excuse me ma'am, you need one, okay? (audience laughs) - You're so mean, DC! - ATL, turn up! - [Everyone] Turn up for what? - For my (beep) Steve Harvey! (audience cheers) (upbeat music)
(audience chanting) - Go Steve!
(bell dings) Go Steve, go Steve!
(bell dinging) Go Steve, go Steve! (audience cheers) - I'm Sky thoughts. Sky, the way you just spit out that water was sexy *** (beep), got ****!
(audience laughs) Nick, do those turban come in one size? Like, (scoffs)
(audience laughs) Do they got baby-size turbans? (laughs) (beep) that, girl, your hair look like the green Powerpuff Girl,
(beep) wrong with you? (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - I like your green hair, girl. - I do too, and everything nice, (moans) Powerpuff Girl.
(Nick laughs) - All right. Old School, wild out. (audience cheers)
- [Cast Member] Let's go DC! ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, ah ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, ah ♪ ♪ Ugly *** little boy, ah ♪ - Silence my minions!
(audience laughs) - I am LisaRaye thoughts. (chuckles) Man, (beep) why your head
look like Takashi84, boy? I'm on your ***, boy.
(audience laughs) Ain't nobody (laughs)
(audience cheers) (bell dings)
(audience cheers) (audience cheers) - Normally, when we have on our Wild 'n
Out costumes and wardrobe, I feel like I'm very covered up. But today I feel like you can
actually see my true figure and how thick I really am. And all this cake batter-- - Ah-ah, you ain't got no **** ***, girl! (audience laughs) You got on a see-through and we see right through your ***! (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (bell dinging)
(air horn) (audience cheers) ♪ You know, together we
poppin' the groupies ♪ ♪ And when you do get the chips ♪ ♪ It aint to watch your movies ♪ - Ooh!
♪ Hold on ♪ ♪ And I show you what a veteran do ♪ ♪ Don't cut me off ♪ ♪ You just mad DC is better than you ♪ - Oh!
♪ Look, back at it ♪ (bell dings)
♪ Chuck ♪ ♪ Wait, I really like
the way you get excited ♪ ♪ And you get yourself so hyped ♪ ♪ But people know what I do ♪ ♪ 'Cause I'm the same dude ♪ ♪ That used to run with the same crew ♪ ♪ And **** **** more than you ♪ ♪ Shoulda threw up a gang sign ♪ ♪ But I thought I lost, my bad ♪ (audience laughs) - Keep going. ♪ I'm used to snatching this shine ♪ - Uh huh.
♪ Ah , and the (beep) you do ♪ ♪ You say you're so tough ♪ ♪ I don't believe it ♪ ♪ (beep) I think you just eat enough ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ How the (beep) you a gangster ♪ ♪ Where you gon' run ♪ (audience laughs) ♪ Jumping in, already know ♪
(bell dings) ♪ 'Cause I'm cooler ♪ ♪ Yeah, you know ♪ ♪ Getting a medulla ♪ ♪ I hate your hair ♪ ♪ I just hate your hair ♪ ♪ I don't like your hair ♪ ♪ Why it look like that there ♪ ♪ Talking about that beard ♪ ♪ That ain't right ♪ ♪ Your career like her wig ♪ ♪ It ain't strapped up tight ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - Oh. - Talking more more of the same. - There we go, there we,
(bell dinging) (audience cheers) - Come here, Akon. Ah, ♪ There's something you need to know ♪ ♪ There's something you need to know ♪ ♪ I want to go to Africa so bad ♪ ♪ When you going to let me go ♪ (audience laughs) Nah (beep), for real. (audience laughs) I wanna go!
(buzzer rings) ♪ I'm speechless ♪
(audience laughs) (bell dings) ♪ He left you speechless ♪
♪ My beat is saved on ♪ ♪ I'm glad you feel this ♪ ♪ I'm just glad you found some words ♪ ♪ And you're no longer speechless ♪ (audience laughs) (bell dings) (DC creams)
♪ What is wrong with you ♪ ♪ Don't ever disrespect me ♪ (audience laughs)
- Cut that beat, man. I'm over here, (beep), man.
(Record scratches) What up, Bee? (Bee speaks gibberish) What up, Bee?
(Bee speaks gibberish) - Talk, your (beep) - I'm trying to tell you (beep) - Talk your (beep). (Nick laughs)
Talk your (beep) - Oh hell no!
(audience laughs) - Talkin'
(audience laughs) Talk it, D.
- Hell no. (DC screeches) - (beep) put her ******* in my hands! (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (audience cheers) (DC screams) Now listen, what I'm about to say might hurt your pride, but this how you dress when you can't find your
clothes and your Uber outside. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) Nick, lemme tell you something. You was up, hold on Shrimp,
now come on up here. These my partner, these my partners. You up here talking about Shrimp life and all that (beep). So please don't push me. You just mad cause that white man is doing the mannequin challenge all in Mariah's (beep). - [Audience] Ooh!
(buzzer rings) - You and your "Wild 'n
Out" Girl look real tired. Matter of fact, who gonna pay for all that formula 'cause both of y'all fired. (audience screaming)
(bell dinging) - Hey, look, hold up. This ain't my only job. So what the hell? I got five. Y'all can catch me in the morning on "TRL." - Wait, wait, hold on, hold on! (audience cheers)
(bell dinging) (air horn) Yo, hold up! I got you that job! (beep) that ain't the answer! I hope you ain't checked it, TLR got canceled! - [Audience] Ooh!
(bell dinging) - Hold on, hold on, hold
on, hold on, hold on. Hold up, hold up, hold up,
hold up, hold up, hold up! Guess what? TRL probably did get canceled but that ain't fair, (beep) I'm working so hard, guess what? You could also catch
me on "Hip Hop Squad." (audience cheers) (bell dinging)
(air horn) - Yo, hold on! That may true, but guess what (beep)? I produce that too! - Oh!
(audience cheers) (bell dinging)
(air horn) (audience cheers) (air horn)
