Married but Suffering | Pastor Vlad

in the area of relationships we've seen where  people get delivered a lot of times their marriage   changes but one thing that we have to understand  is the deliverance does not fix your attitude   deliverance does not fix your character many  times a person still has a choice even after   they're delivered to be nasty to be horrible  to be rude and to be mean and they'll their   marriage will collapse or be in deep suffering not  because of a demon but because of a character flaw   we've seen when demons are removed  spirit especially spiritual spouses like   sexual dreams and nightmares and people get  healed of emotional abuse their marriages change   but there is still a portion that each one  of us have to work on our character amen   and that my friend will create suffering that  creates pain and the worst pain is people pain   because when it comes to computer when it  causes you pain you take a hammer and you pow   and you're like I'm done with you and you go  get another one when the phone causes you pain   you throw it out of the window you can't do  that in relationships people pain is the worst   it's the most difficult one that we experience  especially in marriage some pain in marriage   is self-inflicted some people are suffering  in marriage because they made a very unwise   choice in marrying the person that they married  it doesn't mean they should get divorced it's just   simple it means that everybody said you shouldn't  do that you shouldn't get married at this time   you should not get married to this person but of  course you're in love and love makes you stupid   love makes you blind it's not love it's  infatuation you ignore everybody's advice and then   you got into that thing and then you realize oh  my God I made a mistake and so what do you do then   what if you end up and you really feel like I  married the wrong person I think every person   who got married felt like they married the wrong  person at one time I think every person who got   married has felt like man I should have should  have waited and the secret is not to allow those   thoughts to come inside and not to verbalize  them but to go through that pain go through that   suffering and that's the words I’m going to  use in today until you get to the other side   there are people in our room today who are leaders  and some who are in the positions that you admire   who went through an extremely difficult time in  their marriage in fact they had a scriptural and   a reason to divorce scripture gives us really  three reasons it's adultery it's abandonment   and it's abused that legally you can divorce and  they didn't take those legal reasons for divorce   they endured the pain they endured the suffering  and they got to the other side today their   marriage is a testimony to others today their  life is a testimony to others and if you would   ask them if it was worth it they would tell you it  was and their marriage is better because of that   I believe every marriage goes through  seasons and periods of intense suffering you can't control it sufferings you can't control  when I was dating my wife and we were engaged   you know I personally hate suffering I despise  suffering with every fiber of my being I want   to structure my life in such a way that  I can avoid as much suffering as I can   and knowing that Jesus helps me to do that  I'm the first guy to sign up with anything   Jesus sells because I want to avoid suffering  and so before when we were engaged I knew   potential things that will cause suffering  before even we got married I you know watched   different people getting married and so I  saw in-laws getting getting involved I saw   wedding plans that are being jeopardized by moms  and dads and because there's no money and so I saved the money and I decided I’m going to pay for  everything and I'm going to avoid every drama that   there will be no drama in my preparation for  the wedding and so and that's what I thought everything was paid for  everything was taken care of   my parents the in-laws everybody  was at peace everything was perfect   but there was one thing I did not account for  and it's my wife's dress she ordered it online   and it did not come it did not come a month  before the wedding it did not come a week before   the wedding we were getting married on Saturday  and she had no wedding dress on Friday at 6 p.m.   now for a guy big deal just put something  on we're not getting married for a dress   I'm getting married for you and that's what I told her I said wear pajamas I'll wear pajamas   It's going to be a different wedding nobody  has ever seen it nobody will ever forget it   because I'm like if you get married nice if you  get married in a nice wedding dress everybody   dress is nice I was like let's wear a pajama it  would be the most unforgettable wedding anybody   anybody has ever been to of course if you're a  girl you know you're like what you can't say that   Friday you can you cannot imagine the stress I  went through because of what my wife went through   I would have taken drama between the in-laws  I would have taken financial problems anything   except the fact that my wife does not have  a dress and she and the dress is lost its   there's no they don't know where it is and it's  too late to order a new one and she tried other   dresses that aren't fit nothing nothing was right  Friday evening we're getting married on Saturday   and there is no dress and there  is no promise that it's coming   and so it's it's pain you can't control it's  not your fault of course I tried to blame her   as like I tried I asked you for one thing and  you uh but but but you have a date they'll get   getting married like you can't start on that  foot plus you want her to say yes tomorrow not no   and so we went to sushi I remember like yesterday  went to sushi close to the olive garden right   there and I said babe honestly I’m getting married  to you whether there is a dress or no dress and   everything is going to be fine it is what it is  um and then at around 6 p.m. we got a call from   Portland post office we got a package for you but  we're closing in 10 minutes so we have a solution   and another big problem praise be to almighty  god that my wife's sister just left Portland   10 minutes ago that she goes back and fits within  a minute before they close picks up the package   huge relief but she hasn't seen the dress yet the relief is quickly shifted to a huge bigger  problem because the dress is the wrong size   it doesn't fit her the way it was supposed  to fit her and so the whole night is spent   resoling the whole dress and so I entered  into marriage already with suffering I was like well it will get better  from now because I mean I got this   now I can control things all how wrong was  I was you know the stuff that we started to   experience spiritually even with nightmares even  with certain attacks for first year and a half the   sometimes the emotional pain was so real I  don't know if it's because of expectations   I don't know if it's because of the ministry  and a certain image I had to portray I don't   know what the real reason was but I  there's a verse in the bible that I   found where Jesus told his disciples he said  my soul is exceedingly sorrowful even to death I was like somebody understands me my soul is exceedingly sorrowful he didn't save  my body nobody beat him yet nobody rejected him   remember nobody has judas hasn't betrayed him  here yet disciples hasn't forsaken him yet   nothing has happened yet and Jesus is already  emotionally so at sorrow he says I want to die sometimes you may experience that in  relationships and I want to speak today   into that I really believe this message will  bring encouragement and comfort and I also   believe that this message will bring strength  for those people who are right now married   but miserable let's take a reading from Jesus’s uh  portion of the verse in mark chapter 14. so I’ve   read the verse 34 but I’m going to take it verse  38 I’m going to read one verse watch and pray   lest you enter into temptation the spirit  indeed is willing but the flesh is weak   I want to share from the story of Jesus how  he endured people pain and apply that to   relationships because it's the same principles  that Jesus endured Jesus applied that will work   in your relationship with your spouse Jesus was  abandoned he felt alone when he wanted to pray for   himself disciples fell asleep he was forsaken  by his disciples he was betrayed by judas he   eventually was falsely accused by the pharisees  he was physically beaten by romans so there was   physical abuse Jesus’s beard was being plucked  out and they mocked him by putting a robe on him   and a crown and they blindfolded him and said  prophesy who hit you after that the bible says   is they made him carry his cross and then  the scripture says is they blasphemed as   he was hanging on the cross and then he died  now some of you I just described your marriage you may say I’m feeling like I’m abandoned  maybe you feel like you're you're a sorrow   perhaps you're feeling like you're being accused  of something or or there's a constant tension and   god forbid maybe you're in marriage  today where there is physical abuse   or there's a verbal abuse blasphemy or  there's accusation there's all kinds of things   and you feel broken you feel shattered and you  feel devastated the Jesus crucifixion will come   alive today and you will see yourself in it  and you will see how to get through it properly   and not to become bitter person but to become  better person through that the first thing I would   like to highlight is this is Jesus pray to the  father so he doesn't become a prey to the flesh   before he got rejected before he got  accused before Jesus went through a   very devastating people pain I want you  to notice he takes time to pray beforehand   why because and he explains wise because people  problems our temptation for your character   he said pray not because you will be tempted  with drugs the temptation for the disciples was   not alcohol it wasn't pornography it wasn't  adultery it was to behave out of character   when people caused you pain that's the temptation  your flesh is not only most of us monitor and   control and and monitor our flesh when things are  have to do with our past sins but most of the sins   that we will commit as Christians that will cause  very huge damage is going to be sins when people   are mistreating us and Jesus says pray lest you  enter into temptation this verse also applied to   him because Jesus would be tempted not to forgive  on the cross but to curse on the cross Jesus would   be tempted to get offended when disciples  fell asleep and they're not supporting him   Jesus would be offended instead of to tell Judas  my friend he will say something else Jesus was   tempted the same way you are when he experienced  people paid people who don't have a prayer life   will live out of their flesh when they  can't come into a conflict with another   person either they're married to or they  live with and the flesh will cause you to do   two main things close your heart to the person  who's hurting you and open their mouth to them flesh will lead you to close your heart  immediately and open your mouth and usually   that's what gets us in trouble closed heart and  open mouth and if you notice what Jesus did do   is when he was going through a painful thing he  first think he did he opened his heart to his   disciples he said to his disciples he said my soul  he's beginning to actually become so vulnerable   he tells them who are sleeping they don't  even care that he's suffering right now   they're just trying to get some sleep and he opens  up his heart to people who it feels like it falls   on deaf ears he opens it so much he becomes so  vulnerable he says my soul is so sorrowful and   then the moment he steps into another phase  of people attacking him he zips his lip   he muzzles his mouth he puts a mask on his mouth  why to spread to slow to stop the spread of anger   we put masks so that we can slow down the spread  of the virus but there is another mask each person   needs to have in marriage it's called closing  your mouth so you can slow down the spread of   anger because once anger begins to boil up and it  begins to take you over you begin to say things   you will begin to do things in anger that  will cause more damage than demons himself   and that's why the bible says to us it says to  be in this verse in James 1 it says my beloved   brethren let each win each man be swift to hear  slow to speak and slow to wrath for the wrath of   man does not produce the righteousness of god have  you noticed it says slow down meaning quick quick   quick quick quick not to reply not to respond but  quick to listen god has given you two ears and one   mouth for a reason twice as fast twice as much  listening as speaking and I’m going to tell you   how modern marriage works we are quick to speak  very slow to listen and very quick to get angry and why is that because that's flesh  flesh is controlling your relationship   why is flesh controlling your relationship  because you're not living a life of prayer   if you don't pray you are I pray your flesh  will hunt you your flesh will take control   of your mouth it will take control of your  emotions and it will take control of your ears   he will close your ears it will close your heart  and you will say but but I’m a Christian I’m a   member of hungry gen that's not what Jesus told  disciples he didn't say that because you've been   with me for three years you're going to quickly  overcome people problems he says you have to pray   I’m going to ask you if you are struggling in  the marriage or in a relationship right now   I understand you want me to say a sermon to your  husband right now I understand he said please god   let him say something that my husband will hear  because my husband is here my wife is watching   but listen let me ask you a question  have you abandoned your prayer life   where is your prayer life because if you have  a prayer life the holy spirit will help you   to respond to god in your pain instead  of react to the person who's causing it   when you have a prayer life something will  begin to happen when you have a prayer life   it does not mean your spouse will act  better it means you will react better prayer life does not change your  spouse it changes your attitude   prayer life does not change your children first  for prayer life first changes you relationship   with god does not change my wife it changes my  response to whatever she has to bring to me today relationship with god does not guarantee that  people will act right but it does give you   the strength to react right Jesus prayed  three times he did not change pharisees   Jesus prayed three times it did not change  judas it did not change disciples none of   the people who caused him pain were changed  by his prayer you know what was changed Jesus   something was affected in him that he was able  to stand in front of accusations did Jesus have   something to say in his defense you bet he did  he said nothing because prayer changed that   Jesus should have quickly closed down in front of  his disciples says I’m going to tell you nothing   what you're a bunch of your bunch of sleeping  saying slumbering saints I’m saying nothing you   keep us sleeping I’m going to go and save the  world he opens up his heart why would anybody   risk their heart to be open to people who are  not even paying attention because when you pray   it doesn't change how people act it will  change how you respond it will change   how you react therefore if you walk  out of your prayer and your spouse   your children or people that you live with did  not change that's not what god was after first Jesus’s powerful prayer where blood was coming out  did not change his critics but it did change his   response and if you walk out of your prayer and  your response your attitude is nasty go back to   prayer and come out differently because god wants  to change your reaction god wants to change your   response way more than he wants to change your  spouse way more that he wants to change someone   else my relationship with the holy spirit does  not guarantee that somebody else that I am with   is going to change first you say but she drives  me crazy since when did you become a vehicle since when she became the driver I’m going to  tell you when when your spirit went into the trunk   when your spirit is not driving your life your  wife will when your spirit does not drive your   life your husband will he doesn't drive you the  thing is that your spirit is weak and what really   drives right now is the flesh and the flesh is  unpredictable and the flesh is what is driving   your life right now it's anger it's emotions  and it's all of those things Adrian rogers   said this he said there's four types of anger  there's a sudden anger you have to control it   there is a sinful anger you have to condemn it  sinful anger is when you're angry for no reason   you're just angry at a person instead of what they  did the third one is the spirit of anger you need   to be delivered from it you need to conquer  it and the fourth one is the sanctified anger   is you have to channel it and that's the anger  where you see some injustice and you want to   do something about it and so there's all kinds  of anger but you must understand as a Christian   in order to slow down your anger you must open  your heart and close your mouth and in order to do   that you don't have ability naturally to do that  even Jesus said to us pray and watch why because   your natural tendency is going to be to open your  mouth and to close your heart and because of that   you will get angry you will slam the doors you  will say things you will regret you will say   things you wish you didn't say and you will do  things you wish you didn't do why because the   flesh took the driver's seat and because you're  weak you blamed it on your spouse but in reality   the spirit was weak and the flesh was strong for  those of you who like no I don't need I’m not a   pastor I’m not a prophet I don't need to have a  strong prayer life if you're a husband you need to   pray if you're a father you need to pray you need  more anointing than probably a pastor you because   you're a pastor there and those little minions  they have a gift from god to get under your skin   and that little precious wife of yours she will  know how to find that nerve and play with it and   that's why you need god more than any other season  of your life when you were single you could easily   block your sister and walk away from your father  and your mother and rent an apartment but you're   not a single person anymore and so you need god  you need his presence but what I want to tell you   today is this is when you get closer to god you  expect that your wife is magically going to change   or your husband is going to change I’m going to  tell you that is not what's going to happen first   Jesus says and this way the world will know  you my disciples and he didn't say because   everyone will treat you right he says because  you will love he didn't say you will be loved   mark of discipleship is not that everybody  likes you it's that you will have a proper   attitude to those who don't can somebody  say amen let's give the Lord flap offering I’m not going to scream today maybe just a  little bit I’m just going to slowly let it   let it go in in Jesus name in john chapter  18 verse 11 it's then Jesus said to peter   put your sword into its sheath shut I shall I  not drink the cup which my father has given me   point number two don't spit into  the cup of suffering drink it don't spit into the cup of  suffering drink it suffering   we are like peter we are more prone to  kill for Jesus than to suffer with him if there is a a job killing for Jesus said me  but the moment there is an opening for suffering   with Jesus exclude me from that and peter was  way more excited to go cut somebody's ear off   than to suffer with the Lord and Peter is  not the only guy all of us are like that and I really believe before there can be  a breakthrough in our relationship there   will be a breaking of our pride there will be a  breaking that will take happen as a generation   especially western people people live in the  western countries we have a fear of suffering charismatics and Pentecostals our fear is on a  different level because we have the anointing   we have the power of god we have the promises of  god and I’m not talking about today's suffering of   sickness I am not talking about today is suffering  from demonic oppression what I’m talking about   is suffering that is not self-inflicted suffering  that's life inflicted suffering that is just   because you're married just because there's  differences just because there's disagreements   just because you both of you are imperfect  people that kind of suffering it cannot be   avoided no matter how long you pray no matter  how many times you've been through deliverance   you will have to learn to suffer otherwise the  fruit of the holy spirit will not be called   long suffering how is that fruit going to  be developed if you always avoid suffering   where that suffering can be developed if not in  marriage if not in your family if not sometimes   in our finances I know some of you are looking  at me right now like a goat just got hit with the   light it's actually in the bible but the fruit  of the spirit is love joy peace long suffering   what how did long suffering got stuck between  peace and kindness goodness faithfulness   gentleness love where that god mixed up the  words holy spirit I thought if the closer I   get to the holy ghost the more anointing the more  power and god sticks long not suffering is bad   and god says if my spirit comes into your  life it would I would think it would say   suffering avoidance overcoming suffering and  the bible says long suffering somewhere you're   like man I don't want to stay close to the  holy spirit then if you get close to the holy   spirit he will not remove suffering he will  improve your ability to suffer successfully   he will help you to suffer  long with a good attitude that's what the bible says I did not make that up  fruit of the spirit is long suffering how are you   planning to develop that if you don't have any  suffering and I’m going to tell you one thing   suffering is one of those things you don't need  to pray for you do not need to ask god to send   your way you do not need to wish for it you just  just live your life just do your best and the   bible says those who desire live a godly life  will suffer Paul says to timothy he says endure   suffering as a good soldier of Jesus Christ now  for those of you who think I am not preaching a   martyrdom Christianity I am not preaching that for  us to embrace pain and for us to just love pain   and expect pain and put ourselves in difficult  situations I’m not talking about that but we as   Christians have to stop spitting in the cup of  suffering because the Christianity that we have   embraced from the apostles they all learned how to  have a strong stamina in the suffering they were   not cowards they were not snowflakes they were not  little wishy-washy I can't take this it hurts so   much no no they took it on they got beaten and  the bible says they rejoice Jesus he was a man   of suffering and I understand you live with a  nice house I understand you have a paid of car   I understand you have a fat retirement account but  even if you are in America and all the ducks in a   row the spirit of god will not cause you to get  through life without this fruit being developed   so I’m saying when life throws you a curveball  when something happens you did not expect when   things just you cannot control listen instead  of just cursing it instead of just saying god   why is this happening to me you should say holy  spirit lead me through this and while we're at it   make some fruit out of it produce something  out of it because I am an impatient person   because I despise suffering because demons come  out of me when I suffer and so fix me holy spirit   fix my attitude fix my mouth fix this and that  why because produce long suffering inside of me a leadership expert said this the best  leaders had to endure more pain many people   could never have more influence because they do  not have a big enough leadership pain threshold   if you're not hurting he said you're not leading  I truly believe if you want to go higher in life   it's the ability to have a bigger capacity to  endure pain for example when you're an employee   you have one pain the moment you become an  employer your pain goes to another level   when you're a single person there is one pain  the moment you get married it's another level   it's in other words god is saying the reason  I want to produce the fruit of long suffering   because I want to take you higher and in order to  take you higher there is a price one price every   person who goes higher is being able to have a  higher threshold for pay because you will get   criticized you will be misunderstood you will be  called with names and you will have to have an   ability as stamina and backbone to endure that and  so sometimes that's why pain happens in our life   so god can develop that because that is  needed for the next level in your life   can somebody say amen and so what I’m saying today  is that don't just because a little bit of pain   came into your marriage just because a little bit  of problems came into your marriage this is not   a moment to quit this is the moment to invite the  holy spirit say holy spirit we got some work to do   produce within me a fruit of long  suffering amen that is produced   when Jesus was suffering he did not quit on people  so that he can end his pain when you are suffering   one of the ways we spit into the cup of suffering  is we quit on people knowing it will end our pain   a lot of times you're suffering with people  you're suffering maybe with your spouse   there's misunderstanding there's there's just  just things are just not there maybe you feel   like you fell out of love you you no longer have  those feelings or maybe you're a wife and you   feel like your your needs are not being met and  and there is that pain there is that exhaustion   and the enemy will come to you and say if you  can only quit on him all of your pain will end   and that's really what Jesus  was tempted with aren't you glad   he didn't quit on you to end his pain aren't you  glad he didn't go into self-preservation mode   but you said but what about my happiness  we'll get to your happiness in a second   but what I want to tell you today is this is  sometimes loving is less painful than losing   the person that the devil lies to you if you quit  on them you lose the pain but you will also lose   the pleasure you will also lose the blessing  I think Jesus looked at the pain of loving us   and at the pain of losing us and said that is a  greater pain I’ll stick with this one if you think   if you think that there will be no pain  because you walk out from a relationship   I’m going to tell you one thing you'll be faced  with the pain you still don't know it that is real   divorce doesn't fix things I’m not saying that  there's really no reason that every person   needs to stick around with abuse and everything  I’ll address that in a second but we must   understand many of us are quitters we we have been  brought up in a generation of we're quitting too   fast our our immune system our spiritual immune  system has not been developed to take any pain   and we only and that's why people take drugs and  that's why because they want to only only pleasure   but part of Christianity is you have to learn to  suffer you have to learn to endure that suffering   and sometimes my friend that happens right in your  house for a season of your life for a short season   of your life Jesus did not quit to end his pain  Jesus continued but the second thing that I   would like to help you understand from this is  that you when you cannot control the suffering   allow the holy spirit to help you control yourself  one of the fruits of the spirit is self-control   long suffering and self-control I really think  those two they go together why because the moment   suffering kicks in we suffer for a little bit  at first and after that control freak comes out   because you're like I can fix this I got this all  I got to do is just have my wife sign up for this   sign up for this supper if I could just help my  husband go to this to this if I could just and   then you get them done you get them done and  you realize pain is not gone suffering is not   gone disagreements are still there challenges  are still there and so then what we do is we   our control comes out the more control you  exhibit toward your suffering and toward your   pain the more complicated your life will be your  life does not get better when you control better   it's when you control yourself and after that you  give up and you're like you know what I’m done I   can't I can't do this anymore and the holy spirit  says well finally let me help you to control   something that you can actually control what  you the fruit of the spirit is not wife control   it's not husband control and it's not even  kids control it's not employees control   and I see husbands already touching their wives  praise god god is working already the fruit   of the holy spirit is self-control touch your  husband or your wife and say listen I told you so it's self-control and the last thing I want to share today at  the end and we're going to pray and that is   so first to mention is we need to live a life  of prayer so god can help us to act out of our   spirit instead of our flesh we also need to have  a healthy understanding about suffering that it's   okay to suffer I’m not saying your whole life  but there is a season where you will suffer   no great marriage will be real without suffering  you ask any marriage that today you admire   and you call them couple goals ask them about  their suffering seasons and they will tell you   that they went through some very difficult things  no great business succeeded without going through   some suffering no pastor or leader has built  anything without suffering and so if you are if   you hate suffering success doesn't like you if you  hate suffering happy marriage does not like you   while you despise that you always run  from anything that hurts I’m going to   tell you one thing anything that's good  will always run from you mark my words   you want to have a good body you're going  to have to suffer called running eating   eating healthy there's no there's nothing good  in this world that will come your way if you hate   suffering and that's what Jesus is telling us he  says I will help you to suffer successfully I will   help you to get through that time and through  that season if you want to have a good marriage   you will have to go through some things if you  want to have a great business you're going to   have to go through some things the pressures the  the responsibilities if you want to lead a small   group or you want to lead a church there will be  pressures criticisms if you want to do anything   that will take you higher the price through it  is the threshold for pain has to increase in your   life and so I’m using this situation to increase  that but if you're always quitting any time it   gets hard my friend you're not allowing the holy  spirit to produce the fruit of long suffering   amen amen and lastly what do you  do if you can't do it anymore   what do you do you can give me a little bit more  juice if you can't take it anymore Jesus got to   that point where the bible says he was beaten so  bad he took the cross but he could not take the   cross anymore he fell under that cross he couldn't  take another step physically anymore this would   have been a good point to say I quit you know what  changed Christianity and alexander wrote a song   the song doesn't say I quit the song says  it's finished Jesus never said I quit   he said it is finished but what do you do  if you physically cannot take it anymore   that's exactly what he experienced  he didn't quit he got help if your marriage is I quit that's how your  marriage ends it should that's not what Jesus   wants you to do that's what the world does you  have to even if your marriage comes to an end   it has to come to an end with finished  meaning you've done everything you can   and it still did not work not I quit why do people  quit because when they're done with their strength   you still can get help but this is where usually  we say well I give up on this marriage why I can't   take it anymore I don't doubt that you cannot  take it anymore but did you know you still have   some people in your life like Simon who bible  says took the cross and picked it up for Jesus   Jesus went to the point he couldn't take it  anymore you can have a life group leader you can   have a counselor you can have a therapist you can  have somebody who can come into your life and says   let me help you pick up but the problem with many  of us is this you're not finished yet but you quit   because you're tired you can't take it anymore  and I want to encourage somebody here today   if you can't take it anymore get help don't  give up because sometimes and every marriage   that went through this point will tell you  on the other side when somebody helped you   you saw a breakthrough I’m pretty sure joseph  felt like giving up when he was betrayed when   he was thrown into prison and then forgotten by  the guy he translated the dreams but I’m so glad   he didn't hang himself in the jail cell Jesus I’m  so glad right there before getting on the cross   he says God I can't take physically I can't move  God says I know but I put Simon there but God why   why would you have me continue even if I  can't move because God says now in suffering   I don't want you to suffer silently  and I don't want you to suffer secretly   get some help but that's when usually most of  us will not go to a life group taking me time   that's what you need another person because  the suffering now will get affiliated   it will get you will get relief from it if  somebody comes alongside and gives you help my   friend if you can't take it anymore did you talk  to somebody who can help you with your marriage   did you open up to somebody did you go get  counseling did you go to a church did you go to a   life group did you go or you are avoiding anybody  and yes you can't take it anymore it's true   God will not give you more strength he will just  give you more people who will help you carry this   if you can't take it anymore don't give up get  help the people that I’ve seen who got divorced   a lot of times they this is what they say I can't  take it anymore and the moment I said let's meet   for coffee no I can't why they refuse help because  they want this to end this relationship I’m not   saying that I will talk him out of it but I’m  going to tell you one thing this is not a finish   line this is not the finish line this is just  where you got finished but this is not where the   relationship's supposed to finish and that's why  you need to get help if you cannot take it anymore number two you know pharisees did not need  deliverance Jesus needed help I’ve I’ve met   people who and we've seen this in our ministry  when one spouse is doing really bad uh and the   other spouse can't take it anymore and this is  what they say they bring their spouse dragging   the church deliver him I want you to notice that  Jesus did not ask the father to deliver pharisees   he just asked the father to help him he said  help me the pharisees are the one that had a   problem but Jesus needed help Jesus needed help  and so do you if you're suffering you need help   don't give up get help the second thing that I  want you to see is that Jesus did not drink poison   to end his pain right before he got to the cross  the first wine they gave him was mixed with mirth   it was designed to dull Jesus pain to keep  him from having endured the cross with full   consciousness that's the wine he ignored he  refused if you remember the bible the bible says   he refused that the second sour wine was given  to him on the cross to keep him conscious for as   long as possible thus having the full effect of  prolonging his pain and that's the wine he drunk   when you are suffering the second thing and you  can't take it anymore get help number two is do   not drink poison the poison is overeating the  poison is clubbing the poison at the time is   pornography the poison at the time is gambling the  poison at the time is maybe media consumption when   you're trying to numb that pain it's not you need  to feel it and you need to process it properly   not numbing it numbing it will not cause it to  go away what numb does num makes you poisonous   and then it's not the pain that kills you it's  what you took it to numb it that will kill you   and Jesus refused that he hurt he was hurting he  was bleeding but he says I’m not taking the poison   to try to numb the alcohol drugs other things they  will seek to numb your pain when you are suffering   sometimes going in and trying to have an affair or  getting emotionally attached to somebody trying to   numb that pain my friend I’m going to tell you  one thing that is a poison and that poison will   kill you Jesus refused that poison number three is  you have to disinfect the wound with forgiveness   when he was already on the cross the bible  says is that he forgave those people who   caused them this pain listen very carefully he  did not forgive because they deserved it he did   not forgive because they asked for it none of the  pharisees apologized for causing him that pain he   forgave that because what you do the first thing  you do when you get wounded is you disinfected disinfecting hurts this infecting  pinches it but you know one thing   if I don't disinfect this and I’m get busy  fighting them then I’m going to die not from   the womb but from the infection that came from not  disinfecting the womb forgiving somebody while you   are hurting while they cause that it hurts it  pinches you but my friend if you don't do it   you will get an infection and when the wound  will pass you will die from that infection   and God does not want you to die spiritually  from an infection come on sober are you with me forgiving them doesn't make you right forgiving  them doesn't make it perfect for giving them does   not mean that pain will stop forgiving them is  for you not for them many of them will never even   benefit from it but you will and Jesus did not let  the wound become an infection how do I know that   because three days later he came with the scars  I’m going to tell you what disinfects your wounds   it's forgiveness forgiveness is hard especially  when you are suffering forgiveness is difficult   especially when you're suffering but if Jesus did  it we can learn from him and we can do it too and   the last thing is you have to distance yourself  from people who refuse to repent but not destroy   them or divorce them the problem that happens when  people don't change and you forgive them and they   keep on doing the same thing many of us what we do  is we do two things we either destroy that person   or we divorce them what's the right thing to  do is first to distance yourself from them   and let God work on them from a distance look at  Jesus he gets wounded he gets abused physically   by pharisees roman soldiers and everything  the moment he gets raised from the dead   he does not go to hang out with them for 40 days  you don't see Jesus chilling with the pharisees   not once he goes to his disciples he does not go  into public meetings where they are present he did   that for three and a half years until they caused  them that much pain he forgave them but forgiving   them does not mean he will put himself into their  environment again he loved them from a distance   and guess what happened God saved the  biggest pharisee of all apostle Paul   and guess what happens in the book of acts  the bible says and many of the priests came   to the Lord a lot of times when you still  put yourself in that place and you say that   but I’ve forgiven them I can't leave him  I can't ask him to leave the house if he's   physically abusing me he has nowhere to live if  you throw Jonah overboard God will find him a fish God rescued Jonah when the sailors realize enough  is enough this guy is causing a storm and he can't   be in this boat and they gently put him over and  say God please forgive us but you take care of him   and God took care of him and God stopped the storm  there are people if you are living in a sexually   or physical abusive relationship if a person is  keeps cheating on you and keeps saying sorry and   keeps doing the same thing he should not be in  your house I’m not saying you should divorce him   he should get a different place you should  distance yourself why because that is how   God can work on him well if I distance myself he  will leave me he will leave you no matter what I’m going to destroy him that's not what God wants  you to do that's your bitterness speaking but if   you get better something begins to happen and I’ve  seen we've seen couples the moment of spouse put   some boundaries up and saying you know what if  you do that again you can't be in this house   I’m not saying I’m divorcing you but you cannot  stay within my proximity if you treat me like that   the moment they set the boundary it wake up wakes  up the guy like crazy because he begins to finally   for the first time in his life consequences are  slapped right into his face and he has a choice to   make whether I stay in this relationship or I stay  in my in my abusive if he seeks help God will help   him and then God will restore him and God will  renew the relationship don't let nobody lie to you   just because you forgave the abuser that means  they need to be in your life just because you   forgave the person that caused you pain that means  that you need to have a relationship with them   forgiveness takes one reconciliation takes two  if they did not change there's no relationship   even Jesus did not model that he got raised from  the dead he did not show up to pharisees nor   should you my friend so that tells us is that  we need to protect our heart we need to have   boundaries in our life and people who continuously  commit unrepentant sins who cause harm to you and   cause harm to children they should not be allowed  to live with you as though they are repentant amen   I want us to pray today for people and I know  our time is way past if you are going through   a relationship right now problem perhaps you  just got divorced or you are going through   something that maybe even there's divorce papers  already in the in the court system or things are   really really difficult in relation you say I need  somebody to pray for me today I would like to pray   for you today we're going to pray for you today  but before we do that I want you to rise to your feet every head bowed and every eye closed if  you're in this room or you're watching us on   livestream and you have not given your life to  Jesus Christ perhaps you're coming in today and   you realize that you are not right with God you're  not there where you're supposed to be with God   and you would like to come back to the Lord today  you would like to recommit your life to Jesus   today you're saying you know what I walked away  from Christ or I have not I have not lived out my   faith for many years already and I would like to  come back to God today today is my day I know that   and how I know that Jesus is beating on your heart  right now it's beating faster and faster your   palms are getting sweaty it's a God touching you  right now and God is saying you need to come back   to me son you need to come back to me daughter  if you're one of those people who doesn't have   a relationship or or have lost their relationship  with the Lord and you would like to come back to   God on the count of three I’m going to ask you to  raise your hand one two three just raise the hand   high thank you thank you thank you thank you  I see your head thank you thank you thank you   thank you let's pray the prayer together right  now with me if you had your hand raised you can   put it down right now let's pray together I want  you to say Lord Jesus I repent of all my sin   I ask you please wash me with your precious  blood I am a sinner in need of your mercy   come into my heart right now make me  new and make me yours in Jesus name amen

Channel: HungryGeneration

Views: 39,020

Rating: 4.9341774 out of 5

Keywords: hungrygen, pastorvlad, married, marriage, miserable, married but miserable, relationship, relationships, fruit of the spirit, Holy Spirit, hardship, anger, suffering, prayer, pray, husband, wife

Id: 2u_DX8YcFJQ

Length: 47min 47sec (2867 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 14 2020