-Hmm...
Hey, Oscar? -Yeah?
-When you get a loan, you don't have to use it for exactly what you say
you're gonna, right? -Yes, you do. -No, but, I mean, once the bank
gives you the money, it is your money. You can use it for whatever you
want, right? -No, Kevin, that would be fraud. Every few weeks we have
the same conversation. "Oscar?"
"Yeah?" "Can I pawn off stuff from
the office and sell it on eBay?" "Um, no, Kevin, you can't. "Can I say I was an astronaut
and sell the movie rights? "What do you think, Kevin? "Can I sell time shares
in my garage?" "Can I rent out my mom's car
when she's in Florida?" "Can I be the heir of uh..
and and inherit lots of money? What is he talking about? -Let's say that you tell
the bank that you're gonna open up an ice cream store but instead you buy
an ice cream cart? Technically you are
still selling ice cream. -I know you have gambling debts. -Gambling debts? What? -Promise me you will not take
out a small business loan and use that money to pay of
your bookie. -What's a bookie? I don't even know what you're
talking about. You're weird. You are a really
weird dude, Oscar. Okay, Malone's Cones. This is going to be awesome. -So, uh, this would be a loan
for an ice cream store? Like Baskin Robbins? -We will be selling ice cream. -Well, I would hope so. -The business will have
a mobile component. -Yeah, I see you've underlined
that several times here. Uh, what does that mean,
you'll deliver? -In a way. -Okay, so other than deliver
and the rhyming name, what are we looking at exactly -We have flavors. -Flavors, okay. "Fudge the Magic Dragon." What are the ingredients
in that? -Uh, ice cream? -And you would make
the ice cream yourself? -We would just buy the ice cream
in a store. Or we would make it ourself. -Do you know how to make
ice cream? -No. -Well, I'll be honest, this stuff's going in
the recycling. So... If he's lucky
we'll shred it first to... protect his
social security number. I have a lot questions. -I have a lot questions
for you too. -Really? What kind of questions? -If you grant me this loan about how long will it take for me to have cash in hand? -Not something you're going to
have to worry about. -Nice. -We got exposed wires up there You can actually hear them
sparking, okay? I said, "Gimme a budget
for repairs," they said, "Fix it yourself. And we got metal beams touching
metal shelves. First rainstorm it's gonna be
warehouse full of dead people up in here. What the hell? -So do you have it?
-I've got it. -Let's go. Kevin, this is just paper. -Oh, my God, I think we've been
the target of a sting operation. -Come on, Kevin,
where's the money? -Are you wearing a wire? -Come on, stop playing games Get me the money.
-Please do not hurt me. -I'm not going to hurt you Do I look like I would hurt you? -W-well...
-This is a terrible situation you gotten me into.
-I'm sorry, just don't be mad at me.
-I'm not going to be mad at you if you give me the money!
Come on, man! You have a nice new car, Kevin Look at my car, it's so old. -Hey!
-Get it! Okay? Look at this car! -That little dude may hurt me if
I don't get that bank loan -Bank loan? What's your business plan? -I'm gonna sell ice cream
out of a cart. -That's mad solid. But, uh... You're never gonna get
that loan. -Why not?
-Cause, you're a nervous, sweaty looking man, you know
You project failure. -I know. -Come into my warehouse,
we'll talk. I get $100 up front plus another
$500 more once I score the loan. Any other nervous. sweaty people
having money trouble, you know who to call. -We need a secret signal that
lets me know if I'm talking too much. -If you hear words coming out of
your mouth... that's your signal. -Hi. Thanks for waiting. So, Malone's Cones --
sounds delicious. -So, you enjoy ice cream.
-Oh yeah, maybe a little too much. -I can tell by your perfume you
are a woman of distinction -You have a great... vest. -Indeed you do... have a vest
of very high quality. -Oh, well, thank you. -I want you to experience
something now. Taste the ice cream. -Strawberry. -Mmm. It tastes like Breyers. -Hi, uh, I'm sorry, we've already passed on
this application. -Hi, Brad, h-how how are you
Great to see you again. -Mr. Malone.
-Hi, I don't believe we've met -Uh -- [ Clears throat ]
This is the ice cream franchise? Yeah? We're not interested -Before you say another word I want you to taste
the ice cream. -I'd rather not. -Look, if you taste this
and turn us down like a man, cool -- we walk out of here like
none of this ever happened -Can I ask you something?
Did you... make that
or buy it from the store? -Oh, boy... Sorry. Don't... Abort, abort. Brad. -It's cool,
we don't even need y'all. I sure my man has
a back up plan. [ Bell ringing ]
-Ice cream! Good ice cream! [ Rings bell ] Oscar! -You got the loan?
-No. I decided I would pay off my
debts by selling ice cream -Good luck.
-How much for one? -Ten dollars.
-Goodbye. -Ice cream! Good ice cream!
