LOST TAPE! When Walter Was Small and Jeff Had a Mullet | JEFF DUNHAM

hi buddy Jeff Dunham in Walter and guess Court lead your sound another loss tape this is a scary lost tape not that scary wait till they see you let your is this 1991 1991 we're at a little comedy club we're getting ready for a Tonight Show appearance with Johnny Carson it's right where you did a little standard yourself yeah it's kind of scary I think it's great that's not so great it's good no it's not yeah Walter you two look a little different in the tape I know what the hell I thought when you get older you're supposed to get smaller somehow I'm older now and I'm larger it was an earlier version of you I don't know what that means just watch whatever before Peter comes and finishes things out I have one last gentleman I like to introduce and I think audiences enjoy this guy because everyone knows someone like this you know somebody like this in your own family or where you work but his name is Walter [Applause] good evening Walter I shut the hell up you know where we are yeah I know where we are I don't give a damn you hate this damn job want to get the hell out of here where do you want to go who the hell cares how about where you went last weekend no I don't want to talk about that no it's very nice Walter his wife went on their second honeymoon mmm it's like eating a piece of gum you already chewed see they know what I'm talking about we'll have the honey one go what do you want to know well how'd everything go I did it all right that's kind of what it was wondering well I don't want to get too personal of course not there's a lot of heavy breathing heavy breathing some gyrations some moaning groaning a little sweat then she took her medicine and she was all right what do you do for a living I write greeting cards that's it what the hell are you laughing at damn drunks they're not drunks is a great group of folks I don't care I just want to leave you like to go well I guess not why not because then I gotta get in the trunk or that damn purple idiot [Music] it's like I'm not that on heroin Walter could you quote a couple of your best greeting cards for us alright how do I get well card how does that go sorry to hear you're sick dirtbag well this a lovely crowd of the guy here tonight yes do you think we can take advantage um for a second excuse me take advantage for the crowd a minute or do you mean well you know we got the TV spot comin up oh we got a TV spot coming up we're gonna use some old jokes and a few new jokes you're not a flu try a few of the new ones out on you let you leave the jury it's downhill from here have you ever thought of therapy oh no I don't believe in it no no but my wife's needing to go once she did yes do any good oh yeah talk to the guy for about half an hour yeah anyone else shot himself okay like that one what do you know like a couple of these guys here you know you're losing your hair oh hell I know it and you'd like it told you or thoughtlessly impair in our journey well you know there are a few things you could do for your hair no I think it's hopeless you think so well Haley a look at Star Trek 23rd century they still haven't found a cure I'll keep that one too what about like the Hair Club for Men oh hell that mojo on there I'm not only the president and the clay into cheese weenie that guy why don't we go one step further and find the guy that invented your pens not only invented two things I'm wearing one right now I was social that's all right now let's talk about relationships for a second I understand your wife's in town oh she having a good time all she always has a good time well you've been married a long time now when do you think a couple has achieved true long-term stability in their marriage when one of them's a nekoma [Applause] now what would you say if I was gonna get married at Leon miracle I mean what kind of advice would you give a guy like me Tupperware what Tupperware Tupperware yeah it's lightweight and it hurts less when she hits you in it pick on your wife a lot yeah I don't know she's getting old you're both getting old yeah she shows more Heather than I think she's getting liver spots even at her tanning bed blew up yeah screw that one Walter let me ask you this how is your house your house your love life oh you'll need section don't have it dangerous it can be deadly these days not for you and your wife you do our faithful Inola keep the glad I've got her convinced you can get it just then doing it too much [Applause] why I don't know I guess sex got old you've got old what do you think about during sex staying awake good majority those worked why the new jokes yeah hey I could drink the whole bottle a little Musil and I still wouldn't give a crap can we do that one on The Tonight Show well anyway Walter let's get back to the greeting cards all hell whatever you seemed a little extra grumpy tonight yeah I don't know what it is maybe too much bran too much bran that you make your regular regular hell I'm about three years ahead of schedule let's see let's hear the other greeting card are how about let's see how about a belated birthday how does that go sorry I missed your birthday I thought you were dead sent back to my wife Walter why you so down on love and Matt what you've been married for what 38 years that's right I thought making love just got better with age hang on to that dream pal Walter don't you have any greeting cards that are a little more sentimental than the first too hard I got one for folks during love good goes like this I love you as Sunshine's over oceans I love you as moonlight over mountains they say love is forever that's wrong here we go [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Jeff Dunham

Views: 4,015,119

Keywords: achmed, all over the map, america's got talent, arguing with myself, bubba j, christmas special, commercial, controlled chaos, funny, jeff dunham, keel, minding the monsters, movie, peanut, spark of insanity, stand-up, sweet daddy d, tv, unhinged in hollywood, ventriloquist, walter, LOST TAPES, Small, Mullet, Had a Mullet, comedy club, The Blunder Years

Id: qHwj0L7DpIs

Length: 8min 51sec (531 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 15 2018