(Lockdown Special) Best Modern Comedic Exchanges Pt.1

[ __ ] are you I'm mr. Burnett I'm Reggie you doing here can you take home Megan what I can't meet a girl Megan how are you fifteen miss with him [ __ ] you look dirty so is my day you know had no idea get your ass up against that wall [ __ ] your problem you think you know it all young Thundercat you got joints you smoke that [ __ ] you trying to get my daughter can't it take Megan up what do you want - I'm here to take you who thought I was your name Reggie well I heard the [ __ ] say your name Reggie you want you taking Megan out how old is you 15 [ __ ] [ __ ] you leave 30 this is not a fight you can fight oh you came finally somebody go take my new cell I wouldn't know I didn't fight somebody might come say so he can't fight she can't go make his Godfather okay he just got out to join on the street I ain't going back what's wrong with you I can all scared [ __ ] you ain't never seen a gun before I stopped pointing the gunner man you can look don't you disrespect my gonna come let the gun go off you don't know you have a big old total Ludacris looking [ __ ] ain't you you rap move get out the way the highway [ __ ] out my way listen have my daughter home at 10:01 if she ain't home at 10:01 I'm in the car okay locked loaded and hon your [ __ ] ass damn god Reggie and if I'm there you know what it's gonna be Chitty Chitty Bang Bang [ __ ] that's what it's gonna be I guess Oh Reggie baby I am so all right please forgive Megan's dad his silly friend YouVersion yes I keep it that way ain't gonna be no [ __ ] midnight maybe the Red Shirts nice I like that you guys have no good never made love to a man no you want to take it all it's not for sissies that's what my god Jenny is dead list we're gonna work down together number one I'm gonna spend something something that was not meant to been I'm gonna stop you right there cuz I'm not gonna make it to two I won't even make it to one I don't do well with paint you know I stub my toe I'm I'm done for the day I cried when they cancelled felicity yeah well I get really scared I get nervous erections I have one right now don't look at it only make it worse I don't want you to hurt me and I'll tell you anything anything you want to know except for where they are Russell's in a convoy heading southbound on Jerry Duggan Parkway the monsters with them I wouldn't [ __ ] with him intercept the convoy grab the boy not inappropriately you know it's like if I say something about women or yes I think a lot of that is more or less me just dealing with issues with you know old issues with my mom or whatever your mother yeah or you know when I say things about gay people that people think that my lyrics are homophobic you know it's because I'm gay when I rap about violence or you know sound like I'm promoting violence you know it's kind of my it's kind of about me just you know confronting it what did he just say what did a mistake did he do things he just say okay we're preaching the bleep you just ate em let's just back it up a moment you just said that you were gay and I'm just curious what you meant by that exactly I mean I'm gay uh I'm just a little confused here because gay can mean a lot of things I'm a homosexual meaning I like men what the [ __ ] just happened just said he was gay four times history are probably shocked by what you're saying right now I'm more shocked that people haven't figured it out yet I mean it's kind of like I've been playing gay peekaboo gay peekaboo yeah but um thank you Dave look I got the lyrics say what I say what did you mean when you rapped I said nice rectum I had a vasectomy Hector so you can't get pregnant if i bisexually wreck yeah I pretty much has been leaving a breadcrumb trail of gayness I see that now you know but yeah actually Hector Hector was a was a real person Hector and his rectum were real hate you guys glad you got a black man for a friend okay Hazen has a rating system for every con what's three stars the more prone to violence if the inmate is the more stars he gets five stars is the max yeah see how many stars my maniacal Aska Wow Wow let's start it there's got to be a mistake check it again check it appeared Iseman I had caused a box full of kittens it's not funny I'm gonna have to stab somebody or something get my rep up why don't we have a maniacal pillow fight tonight I could get it up sug yeah we could sell it to pay-per-view superstar versus half a star why don't you shut up before I slit your throat and watch the dust come out come on guys you only got a couple minutes how about this guy damn this fool got the chair three times they dead yet all right how else can we get out yo guys you looking at goddamn party tax let me see no no all right that's good for the trace I guess wait you changed your name to McLovin McLovin what kind of a stupid name is that Fogle what are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer Oh they let you pick any name you want me to get down there and you land it on McLovin that was between that or Mohammad why the [ __ ] would it be between either Muhammad where do you figure common name like a normal person Muhammad is most commonly used name on earth read a [ __ ] book for one bozo have you ever actually met anyone named Muhammad have you actually ever met anyone named McLovin no that's how you picked a dumb [ __ ] name give me that all right you look like a future pedophile in this picture number one number two it doesn't even have a first name it just says McLovin it's one name one name who are you seal Fogle his ID says you're 25 years old why wouldn't you just put 21 man set so sad listen up [ __ ] every day hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with their fake IDs and every single one says they're 21 how many 21 year-olds you think there are in this town it's called [ __ ] strategy all right stay calm okay let's not lose our heads since it's it's a fine ID it's gonna work it's passable okay this isn't terrible I mean it's up to you Fogle this guy's either gonna think here's another kid with a fake ID or here's McLovin the 25 year old Hawaiian organ donors okay so what's it gonna be I am making love in no you're not no one's McLovin McLovin 'he's never existing cuz that's a made-up dumb [ __ ] fairytale name you [ __ ] she's man it'll work give it a chance don't thanks to my class okay everyone take out your workbooks what do you want we gotta talk to me in private for one minute well well well look who wants to apologize well you know what it's gonna take a lot more than some pathetic crackling okay I don't apologize to you what you want we have nothing left to say to each other last night two guys in masks jumped me and strapped a bomb to my chest now I have less than nine hours to rob a bank you're hysterical great joke I go back to my class do this to me and if I don't rub that Bank in time this thing is gonna blow seriously seriously and your first thought was to come to a school filled with young children well I guess I don't really think about it that way okay I mean I think the best is probably safe for now I mean these guys don't me to blow up an accident before I give them their money right oh yeah the two Psychopaths to put a bomb on your chest make sure it was safe there's no margin for error the [ __ ] bomb vest design I don't know I don't know this is real okay this is real this is happening but I have nowhere else to go I need your help okay I can't do this alone damn it more until you get [ __ ] I know but I can't cuz I'm a better man than you if I let you go and you explode or whatever [ __ ] will come back and eat my conscience and affect my relationships with other people like my future wife and kids [ __ ] we having a picnic or something one day and I would just be like damn it I shouldn't let Nick explode that time that's a very rational way to look at the situation John I need to talk to you no no right now what's wrong with you why I got the weird look all over your face Claire's mom just made me grab around the doors snap out of it what a hot older woman made you feel her cans stop crying like a little girl I wasn't crying like a little girl why'd you try getting jacked off under the table and from the whole damn family and have some real problems jackass what were they like anyway they looked pretty good are they real are they built for speed or for comfort what'd you do with them motorboat you play the motorboat you've flown a boat in son of a [ __ ] you old sailor you where is she she's still in the house what is wrong with you what's wrong with what's wrong with you know what's wrong with you what's wrong with you you're projecting drop it you drop it you stop projecting on me why don't you go enjoy yourself why go ice my balls and spit up blood drop it team player so you think you got what it takes I'll tell you what I got your wife's [ __ ] on my breath nobody's ever talked to me like that before that's cause everyone's mouth is usually fully your wife's box you're hired [ __ ] you know what I just did I just walked out that door so a couple detectives that I was about to start bad-mouthing you behind your back but I stopped myself because my pops taught me that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward Wow I actually appreciate that good cuz I'm gonna tell you directly to your face you don't have to know I don't like you I think you're a fake cop the sound of your piss hitting the urinal it sounds feminine if we're in the wild I would attack you even if you weren't in my food chain I would go out of my way to attack you if I were a lion and you were a tuna I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and free could eat you and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend okay first off a lion swimming in the ocean lions don't like water if you place it near a river or some sort of fresh water source that makes sense but you find yourself in the ocean 20-foot waves I'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa coming up against a full-grown 800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends you lose that battle you lose that battle nine times out of ten and guess what you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of line we've talked to ourselves we've communicated and said you know what lion tastes good let's go get some more lion we've developed a system to establish a beachhead and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your your pride your children your ages react we will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp we will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen it's not gonna be days at a time but an hour hour forty-five no problem that will give us enough time to figure out where you live go back to the sea get more oxygen and then stock you you just lost your own game you're outgunned and out man did that go the way you thought it was gonna go nope Wow

Channel: Benjy

Views: 6,136,285

Keywords: Bad Boys, Reggie, Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, deadpool 2, tj miller, thanos, the interview, eminem, gay, funny, comedic, hilarious, lmao, lol, the longest yard, half a star, adam sandler, chris rock, superbad, mclovin, Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, 30 minutes or less, aziz ansari, jessie eisenberg, wedding crashers, vince vaughn, ted, youre hired, the other guys, mark wahlberg, will ferrel, tuna, lions

Id: 4AU_bPKm2fQ

Length: 13min 3sec (783 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 28 2020