LESSONS FROM JEWISH MARRIAGE VALUES || DR DAVID OGBUELI

of family relationship courtship engagement and marriage malachi chapter 2 verse 15. let me start from there father i thank you open up the fountain of the deep make tremendous investments in the lives of every man here and all those that will watch through technology and the media not only here but around the world i ask i will use this moment to accomplish so much in the lives of our young people and lay a solid and strong foundation that will help them for many years to come a foundation so strong that the enemy will not be able to knock down what you have built in jesus mighty name amen god was talking about marriage let's read from 13 so you see this is the second thing you have done he was telling the children of israel where they went wrong you covered the altar of the lord with tears with weeping and crying so that he does not regard the offering anymore nor receive it with good will for your hand so one of the saddest thing is when people come pray pray pray fast and god doesn't hear then they come and give born sacrifices god doesn't receive it the church will collect it but heaven has no respect for it and he's telling them why number one their prayers are not being heard and their offerings are not being received he explains to them why verse 14 yet you said for what reason because the lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth with whom you have dealt treacherously yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant that is what i want to establish first marriage is a covenant biblical marriage christian marriage is built on the foundation of covenant true knowledge is a house built actually it's written twice in proverbs one is a true knowledge is a house built in the other place he said the lord by knowledge founded the earth by his understanding he established it the lord by wisdom founded the earth and then solomon wrote again and said true wisdom is a house built by understanding is established through knowledge the chambers are made to function if you're going to build successful marriage successful relationship the raw material for doing it is knowledge not emotions this is the foundation i want to lay and and the knowledge of what the principal knowledge the number of other knowledge you need to get alongside you know men and females men and female differences and so on and so forth but the principal knowledge that is the foundation is the knowledge of covenant relationships let me say this way before i bring these three guys again jesus said on this rock i built my church so anybody that wants to build a church or build ministry and want something beautiful last should build it on the rock if you want to build believers that we stand the test of time build them on the rock if you want to build families that will stand the test of time build it on the rock the principle for building the church is the same principle for building a family everything you have out of me you have any church both are families one is man's natural family the other is god's spiritual family one is a picture of the other in the church you have parents you have siblings you have younger ones you have elder wants you also have uncles and cousins let me explain this and then i'll leave it two major times god built his house in the old testament the first time it was a tent the second time it was a temple when he was doing the t1 project tents the primary raw material used was wood but it was a specific type of wood called acacia wood a-c-a-c-i-a akasia wood is it belongs to the family of cedarwood why did god choose a cassia because a cassia wood is an incorruptible wood i'm thinking of a wood in this our environment nigeria that i can use to compare the closest is pine tree you know pine tree that wood is very hard if you you can cut down other trees with you and when you try palm tree and then it's not just that it's hard it can last there is another wood that is almost incorruptible my head is forgetting the english name for it even though i know it what is for people in the east what is autism called in english you know this smoke bamboo bamboo bamboo you put it in water it survives you leave it on ground it survives tamar it hardly bites it they use it to support buildings in building projects because it has strength like steel you see it's small long and small and this thing can grow up to four-story of course chinese bamboo can grow up to four-story building high if somebody can climb on top it will burn like this dew like this it doesn't break there is a wood called akase wood termites can eat it it does not decay it does not corrupt it you build a house like we went to where the white people entered nigeria we showed us the one in calabar they took us again to uh bad agree and showed us and they said this is the oldest the first story building in nigeria that was built in so so here long before independence long before amaga mentioned and then they would tell you and the wood is still there they say we only do small maintenance work around it and your climb bob is still strong it carries you you look at it there is no termites i don't know the name of the wood they used to do that but god is talking that god built moses tabernacle with a type of wood because he meant that if the children of israel does not sin that tabernacle can last as long as their nation will last it was in the days of eli the priest the high priest that the philistines came and destroyed that tabernacle david now build the one that called the tabernacle of david so later david now wanted to build a real temple and he came up with the idea but god you know uh said it was a solomon that would build it but gave david the blueprint and when it was the temple again god said this that beauty of rock and this is solid rock we're not talking about sedimentary rock that is like chalk we're talking about basmatic rock a type of igneous rock so i've been to israel i've been to the temple mountain they have brought the temple down to the rocks of the temple are still there of course while we're praying i sat down on one of them that is as big as an elephant after thousands of years those rocks are sitting that's what jesus was talking about built to last built to be durable built in such a way that he cannot fail build it with cassia wood or build it with rock on this rock i will build my church so now that's what you should be saying on the rock i will build my family my marriage and the gifts of hell can always stand against it and somebody asked me what is wrong you bring god as the foundation of your marriage you build your marriage on the teachings of christ on god's kingdom principles and values the bible said the world pass it away but he that does the will of god will endure forever truth endures forever truth will always prevail build it on solid kingdom principle build it on kingdom values don't build on emotion that is what is causing the collapse of the marriage institution in our time those emotions is like weather today is bright tomorrow it's cloudy tomorrow it's raining today is cold tomorrow is hot you can't trust emotion true knowledge through wisdom is a house built make jesus the foundation for your marriage and relations because many christians will tell you they say ah marriage is a cannot and there is nothing you don't need to be spiritual isn't it there's nothing spiritual about it who told you that if knowledge is the raw material for building whenever young people come to me and said we're in love first how many books of marriage have you read i said no i said you're not serious suspend the marriage go and acquire the raw materials for what you're about to build you don't build a house or nothing and then the biblical principles for marriage how many of them have you studied they tell me not we don't need to we just love each other you see that's the issue love brings people together love is not what you what you need more than love amazingly the type of love can i get my three friends again if they are here if not i'll bring some other people to replace them yes i can see my big guy you are marriage finally you are the last guy standing and then this is engagement okay can i get one slim person to be relationship caused you yes god bless you how are you sir the type of love that attracts that bring you together is usually selfish love is not bad and that is just the starting point you know when they are still marketed for you when you are talking love nobody knows i love this sweet and dependo he does not love making the call the starting process of child making that beginning part is sweet but go to maternity ward and ask the women what is going on so at the introduction introductory stage when you are falling in love and coming you think that's all there is you are about to go into a covenant so at this stage it's all right it's selfish it's just about all the wonderful things this person will do for my life and all of that and then if you're a lady that is tired of being single or tired of your father's house you see him as the knight that is coming to snatch you out of all this mystery maybe you've been lonely but there is another type of love that is required to make marriage work is celestia in nature if you want to make if anybody is having problems let's assume you're married just take first corinthians chapter 13. and when you read it you notice there is nothing emotional about it all the words they are use are verbs and nouns there are action words things to do not things to feel i think the first characteristics of love listed there expressions love is patience then love is kind and so on and so forth these are behaviors no matter how bad a couple a couple came to me and said they are divorcing i said okay he said we have made up our mind they are here concernable i said no problem i said but you have to give me 30 days because if you wanted to do it why didn't you just go ahead and do why did you come to me are you coming to inform me or what give me 30 days i said 30 days i said he said it's not bad it's not too long i said okay but don't start today something we're going to do i said two of you should bring your bible under brought as i said turn into first corinthians 13. i said you are going to turn to first corinthians 30 you read it every morning you read it every evening before you go to sleep separately and then each time you read it you now pray god make me like this because anybody that becomes first corinthian tarzan has become like jesus you're talking about the nature of christ is love but it's not just i fear for you i know it's not a feeling that's why the fruit of the spirit are listed in galatians chapter five those are characters of love you pray and ask god for grace to begin to manifest these fruits and then i said in this prayer don't accuse when you are reading don't talk about your spouse just be examining yourself with it and be checking how you have been behaving in this relationship do it for yourself so they did the first week passed i invited them i said we'll be meeting every week i said have you been faithful to read it there and night because that's what the bible said meditate on a day and night and then pray it in and assess your life and adjust your life based on that so the wife wanted to say but my husband i said don't you understand what you're saying there's nothing yours but you because it's the quality of the individual life that you now bring together to create a marriage if you want to make tea your vatine is spoiled the milk is spoiled and then you now add sugar sugar can make it a good thing [Applause] you want to make soup or stew your meat is rotten and your oil is still you can see add salt and egg crayfish when you finish test it and see marriage is a three-fold chord god is the third one that's why i started by telling you making jesus that centerpiece god is the total but if you bring god and join him to two rotten things you would change you have to also transform the people first week past they came back and and they talked about so this time is tell me the things you learn don't talk about another person the things you've learned the adjustment the correction man was talking about how that the first thing the things mentioned was patience and he just saw the thing hit him that he's not patient at all he's the way he knocks the wedding and then they kept this one was called himself i said okay in this second week you continue with the process but you're going to introduce something else you come together to share knowledge every day whether you close work in the evening you read it then when you share this is what you say these are the things i'm learning these are the things the lord is teaching don't preach to the other person these are the things i'm finding out these are the things and the other person we share so that the other man can learn from what you have shared and but don't talk to the rapper don't go and tell this is what the bible said you see for example now ephesians chapter five if i say couple you want to do a study on it part of it tells the man what to do how the love is why part of it tells the woman how to submit it no no don't go and take the woman's water and start preaching to her neither should she take the man's path do it just discuss the things you learned and how it's impacting you let her share her own part do it prayerfully and ask the holy spirit to open our eyes that we might behold one draws things out of your lord do it another time after 30 days i called him and said you cannot go for the word they said no i said why are you not going for the reverse again the man said the problem has is me i have now realized that i'm the problem and uh the woman said i'm the problem i have made life unbearable for my husband and she nailed and i'm beg her husband or girl so turn and apologized and before i knew it those people are like this and there are pastors now do you see what i mean by build on the rock the rock is the eternal word of god the incorruptible word of god jesus said whosoever hearing these sayings of mine and do with them is like a man that built his house on the rock the wind can come the storms can come the rain can come it can beat on that house but it will fall christian marriages face challenges but if it's built right it doesn't matter what it is it is not that you lost your job that made you lose your wife it is the quality of material that the marriage is built on i lost my job i've been out of job for the last six months so the woman left me no no the marriage was sick before you lost your job do you know in this abuja we as we do outreaches we go into some of the areas you see a shanty sometimes made of zinc sometimes wood sometimes pull it in a roof yeah you go there and knock you want to preach to the man there he will come and you see a woman come out with him no matter the condition people are there is a woman ready to follow you then [Applause] once she knows that you love her she will leave the politicians she will live now i know that there is the other type of lady just like the other type of man too you can give all your heart and it will match on it and pass i know there is the other type of lady that's why you have to find the right type i know there is the other type that follows money i'm aware of that a real woman when you give her love and security she can sacrifice anything for you okay back to i was trying to show you the biblical marriage culture especially the jewish marriage culture because all the illustration all the things you are learning in the word of god as has to do with our relationship with jesus relationship with god is based on that and you might be misinterpreting this thing without knowing now so when i i explain this now my goal is twofold one is to strengthen give you strong understanding of christian relationships courtship engagement and marriage and help you build right and where there have been mistakes so you can make corrections but the other is to help deepen your relationship with christ so i'm targeting the both the vatican and the horizontal with one message in the biblical jewish culture there is very little said about courtship very little the culture is built on two major pillars engagement and marriage and even though i'm calling the biblical jewish culture remember that it's bible culture we're talking about very little is said about dating relationship and the truth is that there is provision for this because you have to find the person you have to marry sometimes family members help to find the person in the bible but the moment there is agreement that we are now we love each other is that agreement there is consent this era ends there is nothing like let's spend two years let's know ourselves that's nonsense if you want to know people know them before you go and propose to them it's then that you can actually know that the moment you introduce proposal everybody start pretending it's like you're in a fellowship or you're in a youth organization you're in the choir you're in a prayer department that's where you will know that person well be observing the person befriend the person be the person's friend don't bring marriage or i'm dating you there's nothing like that and the person should be free to meet other people see other people what we do is we go there and tie ourselves down and yet there is nothing you don't tie yourself until you there is covenant if there is no agreement to marry don't tie yourself for anybody so you tie yourself down and the years of your life are wasted and you keep away other brothers or other sisters that whoever is not in the bible and then that thing also opens people up for because they tie themselves and get into emotional commitment door for avalanche of temptations and problems and over time they are not able to why every time you are with this sister everything then in what they are doing now they start visiting and then sleeping over the brother is now working in abuja he has a house you go over for a weekend he said no no no we're not doing anything i will be in my own room he will be in the room we only see you during the day in the night you wear uh what do they call it and come to the palace that you are watching tv you're watching cbn god channel where are the christian channels you're watching benny him the brother passes he is he's already a wife you are playing a wife's role for a person that you are not married to not committed the problem with resistance because first night nothing might happen you might even go the whole weekend nothing might happen he might even beg to eat the cake and you resist and say no so you believe that you are doing well so you go after two months you come to visit again but what happened that you left him with an unsatisfied hunger so by the next time you are coming the hunger has jumped five times he now has passion inside because what you're doing is that you are frying plantain and presenting it in front of a hungry man but when he wants to eat he said no no brother are you not born again then you take the plantain see let me tell you what is going on here persistence is stronger than resistance you know resist the devil he will flee from you that's what the bible told us and it works but when he get to sexual sin he said instead of resisting do the fleet i think i need to say it again when it comes to every other thing he said resist the devil the devil will do the fleeing because resistance works when it comes to sexual sin and temptation god now turned it around and said don't do the resisting do the fleeing because persistence is stronger than resistance anything that will keep coming and keep coming and keep coming especially you resist it today you wake up in the morning look at it before you you go to the kitchen to get water see her cooking for you what is that that you have created where did we get this modern style you say it's cause shape there is nothing like that in the bible it's a babylonian culture worldly culture that we brought into the church americans exported this one to us and you can see what they have done to americans to wreck the place the moment somebody approaches you and starts talking or start trying to hang around you and you know whatever people at this stage if you check the bible they get they are honest if somebody keeps hanging around you anywhere you better be bring up a discussion around purpose and other let it be clear so that if there is nothing be clear don't be led on by somebody if you see somebody for example there is a way to test it he can come around even if there is nobody pretend that there is another brother that needs an and go if you come another time and he's very jealous and very angry that you have to ask him to define his mission i had appointment with brother jane and i had to go if he's a lady create even if he's not there create another appointment with another sister and go if you find her becoming very whatever the mission needs to be clear because people sometimes here create what does not exist and in their head they are dreaming dreaming of all kinds of things and waiting for something that does not exist then one day you see the guy he moves on to propose to somebody and then move on with his life and your life is shattered the man that trained me said never when university never open your mouth and propose to a young woman unless you know you have finished making all the calculation and that you are ready to take it all the way to the altar never open your mouth and say something and tomorrow you come and say you must practice integrity and you start practicing it now that you're a young man and that got into me do all your assessment do all your analysis but when you are ready to open your mouth make sure that you're made up of your mind you are taking this all the way there are two stories i recommend for you if you study it well you will see the biblical concept of marriage two old testament story the story of how abraham got a wife for his son isaac and the man he sent to undertake the mission is a laser there you will understand the biblical idea of engagement of betrothal it is marriage the only thing i can compare to is what you call traditional marriage in the african environment but it's the first stage then if you that's found in genesis chapter 24 if you go to genesis chapter 29 you will see the marriage of jacob to rachel and of course in the first of all rachel was promised and at the end of that he was giving the sister and so he also paid diary again with another seven years of service to finally get richer you see how they threw a wedding fist you find it in genesis chapter 29 that is the how the concept of wedding how they do the wedding in the case of jacob something that is not the normal norm happened where but the engagement and the wedding happened in the house of the father of the bride the reason is because he's living with the man serving the man for 14 years which ended up actually as 20 years the engagement happens in the house of the father of the bride the wedding happens in the house of the father of the groom why the engagement ceremony can last for just one day half a day shorter than that the wedding ceremony lasts for seven days in the bible now am i telling you two guys are doing seven days wedding no no it's because it is used to illustrate something to come because the marriage support of the lamb is going to last for seven years and during that time the whole world will be undergoing seven years of tribulation okay let me show you and i will explain to you seven things that happen here seven things that happen let me show you one very good picture that will be very useful judges chapter 14 this marriage of something samson made the first attempt to marry and his marriage failed because the father of the bride cheated him and then he went for the second attempt and in this second attempt he ended up with delilah okay george's chapter 14 i'm reading from verse one and since he went down to timnah and saw a woman in timna of the daughters of the philistine verse 2. and so he went up and told his father a mother saying i've seen a woman in timna of the daughters of the felicita now therefore get her for me as a wife take note take note take note they didn't stay here saying let's do the relationship for three years just be watching every case study i give you everywhere safe in the whole bible check nobody stays there and start doing a relationship two years three years seven years then after a while you say god did not speak to you you change and switch the moment the people want and you see the way something the moment there is agreement you have to go and inform your parents and the moment there's agreement that lady two went and informed her parents immediately you move to this stage you've talked again she now said i'm willing to marry you what are you still doing relationship for he said you are getting to know yourself you should have done it before proposal you do propose that emotion is now aroused everything is whatever and then you are not ready and then you leave it private only between two of you no it is not in the bible it's like salvation that is only private salvation is not in christianity when you finish believing you have to confess with your mouth and there is something a public testimony of your faith this what we are doing is like you preach to somebody the gospel the person believes in jesus christ he said i'm ready to accept jesus you know stop postponing leading him in prayer sinner's prayer which is administering marriage vows and then you leave him there as a girlfriend of jesus for jesus to still be chasing him for three years meanwhile the one the moment somebody wants to accept christ that's the moment you move to this place to move into betrothal and engagement and other and you will see what biblical engagement looks like okay go back go back he said get me this girl this game pleases me so something now have to inform her parents and once there is agreement go and let your pastors know go and let your parents know it's time for the two families to know and the lady has to arrange for this man to come and see her people and the man has to arrange for this one it is at this stage now that you can spend a year i will show you not there is at this stage now you can spend six months not here doing private let me know use the bad word but that's it private prostitution in the name of christ and because both families know the spiritual leaders over you know there is no accountability the man will be careful how he treats you okay verse 3 of course his parents did not like this they said don't we have sisters daughters of the children of your brethren among your people that you must go and get a wife from the uncircumcised philistines and samson said to his father get half for me for she pleases me so concept of the people getting married is the one of the things you sought out at that stage and then you move them here anywhere uh this case there is a law that is being violated the jews are not allowed to marry the daughters of the canaanites the philistines and all those nations and we are not allowed to marry unbelievers it's like a christian trying to marry an unbeliever that law was violated but even though the scripture said that god was trying to use it to set up the philistines to get some simple votes so he will start killing them look at verse verse four yeah but his father and mother did not know that it was of the lord that he was seeking an occasion to move against the philistines for at that time the philistines had dominion over israel so when you read this interpreted right god is one that said don't marry unbelievers and god is one now arranging a marriage between a believer and an unbeliever that's not what he's saying god is not trying to get something to marry a philistine god is trying to create an occasion that's that will now provoke something to anger so he will start doing his ministry of fighting the philistines and revenging the oppression of the children of israel so sometimes broken heart can be used to provoke you into something in this case yes god used it to get the man into his ministry and how did he do it you can see exactly what happened he went and paid the diary verse seven and this is where the engagement takes place he went down talked with the woman and she pleased something well you know so after some time he returned to get her and he turned that side on his journey to get her he saw a lion killed a lion got some honey from the lion and when he went for the wedding feast he now gave a parable a riddle based on the honey and the lion and nobody could outside the only person that knew the answer was that his wife after some time everybody said that word when you finish engagement there is a period that elapses before you go to take your wife and start living with her i'm going to explain it to you and when he went for the wedding ceremony which lasted about seven years seven days on the way he killed his lion and when he got to the feast he gave this radio which created problems because the philistines now went to the lady and put pressure on her and her family to find the answer for something this is the honey he took some of it in his hand i was eating he gave some to his parents verse the next verse so his father went down to the woman now the family is now going with him i'm sensing through a feast there for the young man used to do so that is the jewish culture that's what he's telling you and how long did this feast and it happened that when they saw him they brought 30 companions to be with him remember he went with a company now initial time it wasn't so much people and sansa said to them let me post a review to you if you can solve it then i'll give you 30 leaning garments and 30 changes of clothes okay if you cannot explain it to me then you will give me the same thing so they told him to push the radio go on go and go so out of the eater came something to be eaten now for three days they could not explain the riddle 15 it came to pass on the seventh day that's the last day of the feast they said to samson's wife entice your husband that he may explain read it to us or we will burn you and your father's house with fire have you invited us here to take what is ours next verse watch samson's wife wept on him and said you only hate me you do not love me you have posteridu to the sons of my people but you have not explained it this if listen woman married into a jewish culture and he said to her look i have not explained it to my father and my mother so why should i explain it to you now she had wept on him for how many days and these seven days what is going on a marriage feast why the feast lasted do you see how long the fish lasted and it happened on the seventh day he told her and i don't need to read the rest of the story the lady went and told our people and they got it so samson went and killed some philistines collected their clothes everything and gave to the people and he was so angry but he went back to israel to his father's house turn to chapter 14. this is chapter 14 10 to 15 verse 1. after a while everyone say after a while why will you marry a wife you've done it and you don't take her then it is after a while and i can tell you in the jewish culture a minimum of one year is what elapses between here after a while during the time of with harvest it happened that samson now visited his wife with a young god and said let me now go into my wife and that's when sex should start into her room but her father would not permit him to go in why he has given the girl to another person her father said i really thought that you thoroughly hated her therefore i gave her to your companion you cannot come and marry her younger sister the kind of thing they did to jacob so that's where his anger that from that day war against philistines started you will read down you will see that he got 300 foxes tied their tails to buy to set them on fire burnt all their farms that's how the war started emotional heart and wound do you know why he said give me now my wife i want to go in to sleep with her because he married her here but now he has come here okay let's look at the seven things that happen here let's stand here number one you have met you have agreed that you marry you've seen the girl you like her or you seen the guy families are informed so a meeting is now arranged between the two families and the groom will have to come with a few people maybe his father just a few they don't make this one elaborate some people do they don't make it so large and they come these are the principal things that will happen number one you create a marriage contract that's the first thing the marriage contract is created which will be signed by both couples it is written down ladies and gentlemen young people instead of wasting time here touching and misbehaving sit down to discuss in substance the future that you are going to have together tangible things a lot of important things i am my wife we have a marriage contract that is written jesus gave us one that is written that's the new testament god gave israel when he married israel one that is written that's the torah the first five books of the bible genesis doesn't contain a lot about the contract but by the time you get to he says you start seeing the ten commandments and all the other obligations and then you see the blessings what he was going to do for them so this they must have obligations commitments if you know those things that are very important to you put it down don't wait until after marriage you now start raising them put it down now and for example now you are one person you don't want to have more than three kids make it clear discuss it now reach your agreements one lady says she wants to have 12. she's a pastor in our ministry the husband wants only three wahala has already started though and she told me if the man this thing he's saying only three is he not me that controls my body when i'm inflated now just go to him and get pregnant let him tell me to to go on about that is wahala already they need to sit down discuss and reach agreement and there are a couple of other things some men are more private some men don't mind your wife traveling to us to live you're a lady you have a vision you want to go to us and study you live in u.s your husband is here discuss it now let's know if he can handle that you know that god called you you're going to be a preacher but you a female bring it on the table now put it there there's a call of god in my life i will be a loving wife to you i will submit to you i will do all those things but you must give me the liberty to fulfill this monday and state some of the demand if he commits if he commits to it he can come back tomorrow and shut down that ministry he can because there is a third party there is a three-fold court important this thing is built on covenant and people don't sit down to talk about and later it was across in trouble you you a man you know you have a call of god in your life that's also also all in future you are going into politics bring it up what causes division is division two different vision when you have a corporate vision people unite around the common goal he unites them it makes them stronger shared vision and shared values unite people not just love you need to have layers of security that hold you together not just love or maybe children there must be agreement in your vision because the woman is sending as your helper helper to do what there must be shared values your convictions so that for example you talk about whatever and and one person is saying no even though i want to marry you i love you but i also believe in having side chick i believe that a man can't just eat only one soup you know is that what you want do you want to sign let me give you an example when jacob was developing a marriage contract with the daughters of lebanon because he took two girls from one family lebron made put it there and jacob vowed not to take other wives apart from his daughter because in those days polygamy is allowed but he vowed not nothing and he didn't go beyond that there were two other women it was those wives that gave him those words he didn't go beyond that is his wife one did they have a child they surrendered her mate a baby came out and when he saw a baby say mo and the other one that was already having a child say you can also have my mate before this one catch up with me so the guy ended with four wives by the permission of the women not that he went i was playing games i know the way your new testament had things you think there is a daughter it's not adultery there that is according to the culture of then when polygamy was an operation it was not adultery there like some of you were accused abraham of adultery there was no adultery in abraham abraham was a righteous man actually one of the most righteous men of his generation he was a wife there was no adultery there because they lived in a culture of polygamy and of course you can see that those children that came out of those four women formed the 12 patriots of israel in the case of sarah well later the maid that has now become madame started disrespecting her she got so angry she dealt with her with a strong hand and she now demanded that the husband must send her away and abraham refused because he has a child by the name of ishmael he refused so god came in the night and said listen to your wife i told you there is a thought called the mediator of the covenant he said yes listen to her cast out the born woman and her child solve this problem now before consequences start later and he did he blessed ishmael sent him away so a marriage covenant is all the things you're going to do for this woman come yes come this is the lady so and this is happening in the presence of her family plus other witnesses like your people and all the things you're going to do for her involving how you're going to take care of her and all the other wonderful benefits then her own obligations towards you the obligations and the benefits and is put on paper after that there are two cups you see the role of communion in marriage there is a silver cup filled with wine that they will have to drink here there is another cup filled with wine when they get to wedding that they are going to drink so it's time to drink okay but going forward you now have to now pay the diaries and you open your treasures and bring out gifts and all the diary whatever you pay to the family ladies and gentlemen are you hearing what i'm saying i think i need to show it to you genesis chapter 24 verse 53 look at the servant of abraham elisa verse 53 the seventh of abraham brought out jewelries of silver jewelries of gold clothing okay this time is not this one there is another one but this is also part of the give to rebecca you also give precious things to her brother and to her mother okay there are two set of gifts that are given in this particular marriage and you guys need to take note of what i'm doing the first part is the diary you pay to the pro the people that are the custodians of the woman you pay the diary you sign the marriage covenant on our own case we came to christ we gave consent he gave us a new covenant what is our the dowry that was paid over ahead i'm sure you know that first corinthians chapter 6 verse 20. okay do you not know that your body is the temple of the holy spirit who is in you who you have from god you are not your own but 20 for you were bought with a price therefore glorify god in your body and in your spirit which are god's what is the price that was paid for us the blood of jesus first peter chapter 1 verse 19 please show it this is the stage why jesus came to earth his father's house is in heaven that's where the marriage support the lamb will take place but why he had to come to it where we live because you have to go to the place of the bride to pay the diary and it is here that he died and paid his own okay okay okay verse 18 first knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptable things like silver and gold because that's what normal people pay that's the kind of diary you pay for a woman savor and gold for your endless condor received for the tradition for your fathers verse 19 but with the precious blood of christ as of a lamb without blemish and without spots it's not only jesus that paid other type of diary when david wanted to marry america saul's daughter so four hundred four skins of the philistines let me use another word the heads of at least a hundred it wasn't even the head he asked he said when you kill them cut off their manhood and bring me a hundred his intention was he but to pay this kind of diary his life would be put at risk and this guy would die he was shocked david when they are killed a hundred feet and cut off the edition and brought to him even some similar things jesus used his life put his life on the line to purchase you at night and so after the diary has been paid then they bring that save back cup filled with wine and both of you would drink it we share it in the traditional marriage here in some parts of this country they use pound wine some use other type of wine the jews will use the fruit of the vine and this is that corp that jesus drank with his disciples on in john 13 and many other places just before he went to the cross before he went to pay this full depth for us he brought up that cup he said this is the blood of the new covenant in my name the jews serve communion during weddings that's the point i'm trying to make what do they use the wine to signify the sealing of the covenant the marriage covenant some cultures do it some don't and then right there he said i will not drink this cup anymore till the day i drink it with you in my father's house it's done twice what do i normally advise young people especially christians make your traditional simple don't make it to such a big ceremony the real ceremony is the wedding but if you want to make your traditional big then do it like jacob why that ceremony is going on bring a priest once they finish all the family obligations let them bless you because and then you have used one stone to achieve because all that money all that food all that thing tomorrow again you start doing a second party there is one party in a marriage the jews leave all deputy here so this one is just a private thing you don't do too much noise it's just a few people and you go and pay the diary and sign the marriage covenant but here is where you threw a feast so if you know that you want to go do traditional and true bring a preacher along once the family finishes their own let them administer marriage vows to you and complete the whole thing carry the woman and go home case is closed tomorrow again you start and then you start doing another feast if you have money and you can do it to go ahead it's not like it's a law but a lot of young people get themselves into all of this unnecessary body okay watch what happens you sign the marriage covenant you drink the cup to seal it you've paid the diary now it's time to give gifts the first gift you give to the bride emea is a gift that is a token that there is a covenant something that when she leaves she can show other people as a symbol that she is married they either use a band you wear in your hand a nose ring you wear your nose of course in the case of rebecca it was a nose ring it was that that was what lebron saw i knew that this was serious some you know whatever but it's a token that's the first gift you give so that because you see now there is a gap between this betrothal and the real wedding at least about one year you don't want to return like something to find your wife with another man so you want something that lets everybody know that this woman is no more available in the market that whatever and that gift is a token is a seal and jesus also gave us one before leaving ephesians chapter 1 verse 13 and 14 you will see it ephesians in whom you trusted after you heard the word of the truth the gospel of your salvation in whom also haven't believed the moment you accepted christ's proposal you were sealed with the holy spirit of promise the wedding ring the first thing jesus gave us as a gift is the gift of the holy spirit is your seal is the token of your marriage after salvation people should have holy spirit baptism it is not a gift for only practical styles it's a gift for all believers is the seal and seal look at the rest verse 14 which is the guarantee of our inheritance unto the redemption of the purchase possession what is the purchase position the price the price has been paid but we need something as a down payment i say not a down payment i say seal i a guarantee of the purchased possession you have not received your full inheritance you have not moved in to live with your husband so they give you this and is also an assurance that you are his and that is coming for you that's why uh official first corinthians chapter six says you are no more your own you are bought with a price and whenever they talk to us about this and about preserving ourselves in sanctification they remind you that the holy spirit is in you don't you know that your body is the temple of the holy spirit this seal is a warning to other people to keep up this is a married woman this is a reminder to you that you belong to somebody so you hear about touch not my anointed everybody touch your head and say i'm god's property and his seal is on my life and that seal is the holy spirit until the day he comes to redeem his purchase possession do you know what that means have you ever gone to a shop and you are looking for furniture and the right one sold the man has paid but he has not collected his property or you come to a place that is selling cars and you see one really sold that means don't go pricey they are not going to sell it to you this is somebody's property somebody has bought it so what he's waiting for is the day he will come to come and redeem it and take it that is exactly the difference between here and here the day he comes to redeem and take what he has purchased is what is called the rapture that's the day the husband now comes to carry the bride when he came to pay the diary you come with very little intelligence very few no much noise but the day you now come to take the bride you have to come with a heavy entourage with a marriage a wedding procession and that day put the armies of heaven jesus said i will come in the glory of my father and the glory of the heavenly army the angels so you give this then you do exactly what we just read here and decorate the girl with gifts why does she need gifts you're about to go and maybe for about a year or more or less she's not going to see you she's going to still be in her father's environment she might be working she might be doing that though she doesn't have children um she's not yet living with you but she needs to be able to sustain herself so you will notice abraham saban opened up and loaded this girl apart from the one he gave to her family he gave her all kinds of gifts apart from that nose ring he gave her gifts jewels all kinds of things and that's what jesus had done for us let me tell you what he means it means that once you marry according to the jewish tradition is now your responsibility to look after the girl not her father so you have to make provisions for her and that's why apart from so many gifts spiritual gifts ministry jesus has also made a lot of inheritance available to the saints so that will be able to endure while we are waiting for his return that's why he takes care of us we pray they are provisions even finances because you are married you are a married woman after these processes has been completed the bride will now go with surrounded by females her family members and some of her friends and they will go they will surround her and she's about to do something that is very significant it's called the bride down but she's going to take her back and it's public but not with the men watching is with family members the females and others and she will go into a kind of bat filled with warm water and they dip her in and for sanctification and that is what a believer does when you go to water baptism go and do your research you will be wondering why all these things in the church is marriage everything for your salvation to communion to everything is marriage they call it misfire is ritual but for purification for cleansing so notice that salvation involved two things you have to believe in jesus and after your faith in christ you have to be baptized in water i know some people don't take that one don't take that one seriously notice that in the tabernacle that the first thing you meet is the author of burnt offering where they slay the lamb the sacrifices right after that as you want to move into the presence of god you meet the brazen lava what do you do there the priest will take his birth the blood is not enough the blood does his work but the word the water of the world does his work and the man is purified the blood does the work of redemption the world does work of sanctification that water is the word but there has to be baptism they actually call it brighter baptism and this thing is constructed sometimes like a bathtub with water and and jewish women i i don't know if it's necessary but i need to tell you something about jewish women women go through menstrual cycle every month when a jewish women complete their cycle because there are still blood clots inside their body you know what they do you go inside this is warm water you go there they call it soaking you go in and you see a group of them they put sanitizers inside no no sanitizer what is the better word like detail you know those kind of things disinfectant that whatever they put it and then they go inside they call it they will sit inside like somebody you know been in a warm pool and all those blood clots still trapped inside because just because blood has stopped flowing doesn't mean there is no blood inside all of them will dissolve and flow out when they come out they are ready to resume sexual activity they don't let their men go and start meeting blood hello is part of sanctification that they are taught so immediately after the marriage whatever they go and take that ritual back what they are now announcing is that from now i'm separating consecrating my life for my husband and no more available and then right after that the way she dresses the way she carries herself the way she comports herself changes if it is the type that used to dress to notice boys you will see that they are dressing for example they will have to wear you know like the muslims wear hijab for the jews the hijab or the scarf is a sign of a man's authority sign that i'm a married woman or at least wear their hair very long they avoid any of those things that young people do that get attention they compound themselves with sobriety with honor carry themselves with honor they don't go around answering boys anymore and all of that and then they start walking in chastity they keep themselves away from every form of and this is now what this gap is meant it's a waiting period it's called a time of sanctification purification and cleansing why you are waiting for the wedding and the husband now takes a step with the wife come remember she is legally married now and he is legally married there might be no consummation but they are married so what i showed you yesterday somebody that touches a woman that is betrayed and in case of the angel to joseph he said take mary thy wife in the case of the old testament god said the man that touches a woman that is engaged has defied his neighbor's wife he should die she is legally married and this man is married and that is the statue of every believer today you are a married person what do you do between now and when he comes the ministry of personal sanctification on the outward level is the ministry of making disciples using the gifts and the resources he gave you to win other lives but at a personal level consecrating and keeping yourself for him ephesians chapter 5 verse 2 ephesians chapter 5 verse 26. husband love your wife verse 25 first say husband love your wife as christ loved the church then verse 26 that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of the water by the word now look at verse 27 that he might present her to himself that is a rapture a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any sort the day of presentation of the bride is the rapture of course it's not only that jesus is coming to take his bride he's also going to take the bride and present to his father that day a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she should be holy and without blemish this same thing is required in marriage remember last night i told you that the first s of marriage is what sanctification if jesus the day he returned means the woman he left behind he died from the cross paid down put a ring on put the holy spirit on living in adultery messing around with the world messing around with that lady is not going there are many cases where situations a few cases where the man now returns is the day for the wedding feast and they find out that the woman has defied herself the wedding is called off he has to go look for another wife what do you think if you have gone down traditional marriage pay the diary finish all that but you now go and the day you return to now take your wife you hear that where they will be called off so as he is now about to go he steps out and says something to her keep yourself from me i'm going but i'm coming back to take you i'm going to go and prepare the bridal chamber where you and i will live my father's house there are many people living there and we have a lot of buildings but i'm preparing a special place for you and i to live and that's exactly what jesus did in john 14. in john 13 was this engagement process the communion that he did with the apostles but in john 14 he said let not your heart be troubled because this is the time the bride cries you've married her now but you're about to leave her again it's letting your heart be troubled in my father's house there are many mansions i go to prepare a place for you when i finish i will come back i will take you to myself let not your heart be troubled you believe in god believe in me also that's true in my father's house there are many mansions i go if you were not so i would have told you i go to prepare a place for you that's three if i go and prepare a place for you i will come again and receive you to myself that where i am there you may be also that place is going to prepare it's what is called the bridal chambers you will read about it in the book of revelation is the new jerusalem the heavenly jerusalem where they are building our mansions and all kinds of things all these sins that have died are in heaven now but they are not living there because it's not yet time for that all the saints that have died are heaven but there is no feast no marriage fish yet they have to wait for the rest of us and on the job rapture the family in heaven and earth will unite to go into that marriage feast and it's going to be for seven days which is seven years and when we take off with him and he comes to get us he's going to come okay so god bless you man thank you you know so this is that part he now tells i'm going and i'll come back for you you cannot stay here so occupy till i come i provided for you provided you money resources just keep busy and order and keep yourself from me till i return then he goes and this is where he goes back to when he gets back here heaven is a wonderful place but it's a part of heaven where he begins to do construction and wonderful development and he's doing it for her where he's going to live with her because the bride of christ are not the only people that will live in heaven that will come to heaven the bride of the father too is coming old testament people enoch abraham moses the children of israel when jesus evil rose he brought out a number of them that were in the grave and they all went there are still other people you know that are going to be part of that whatever there has been other dispensations and covenants given but these people that are giving the new covenant the ecclesia they call that ones that are christ's people that he's preparing this place anyway somebody is looking at me yeah heaven is like a planet earth it has different compartments it's not just one street you know like you have america you have continents you have that's how it is so finally so i'm giving you the seven things going on here the preparation of the bridal chamber the building of the mansions and the city the holy city where the saints will live and i don't need to tell you that the level of work you are labeled for god the soul winning and the things you are doing your sacrifices for the kingdom is affecting the quality of your reward and your mansion so finally it's time to come and get her and usually in israel about one year has passed and this time can i get all of you there to come come and join us all of you just the guys yeah like 10 or more just come this time you're coming with an entourage samson went with about 30 men to the land of the philistines everybody during the wedding okay you are representing something here i don't want to remove you from here how do i do it okay come you are the one that paid the diary married the wife he has been in his father's house but now so this entourage of angels entourage of heavenly hosts and now coming with him it's time to go and get his bride you notice that this one is is not secret mission anymore is no small part that's what i'm trying to say and then jesus will descend in the sky and in this case oh yeah come you can't stay back you're coming sister come one more time and in many cases many cases don't go and say rapture will happen in the night but in many cases in the jewish culture the arrival is usually around the night time how many of you remember the parable of the 10 virgins you know jesus told him at midnight when people some people have even started sleeping a lot of people have whatever and some of the virgins their lumps went off that's when he arrived now don't go and interpret that midnight to mean real night in early time but it means in the dark hours of the last days things get darker and that can whatever but it's in this kind of time we're living in rapture can occur any time this period of time and then that cry is made behold the bridegroom has come the family of the bride no the implication he has come for his wife he's not begging he's not coming to pay any more diary he has already paid he's now taking her to now go and attend the wedding ceremony so that process of catching away the bride that process of taking the bride to be united with the groom is what is called the rapture of the church now take her and then this procession yes this process should now turn because check if you have read festive selenium chapter 4 verse 16. we're going to meet him in the cloud he's not going to touch you during the rapture why because when he descends in the cloud i'm going to say something here i know i don't know how many of you will be able to get that one that word that is used caught up now first thessalonians chapter 4 verse 16 for the lord shall descend from heaven with a shout with the voice of an archangel with the trumpet of god and the dead in christ shall rise first yes the next verse for we who are alive and remain shall be caught up that word that is used there if you go check the greek word do you know what it means it means to be snatched out snatched up but also the way the jews do it listen very carefully please come back with the lady come back with the lady see how the jews do it some actually take care like this and dance with the men if where you're going is not far families are not far and then trek back home but that's not how they do they do they take the lady put her in a chariot in a carriage in all these things with wheels and then they start driving back home do you know how elijah went to heaven i'm probably high enough also went that's how we are going there is a snatching away there is a being caught up there is a being so the noun brought out the word to describe it here they call it rapture i don't know whether we are going to ride white horses or just write i've had a vision of it myself and the one i saw in my the vision god showed me there was no white horses it was the man that were going to me that was sitting on top of a white horse but we were just transformed into green white and we also taking off to go and meet him in the cloud okay turn now let's go starting to go and meet the father everybody so this procession and finally arrive at heaven you see now the bride is presented see my wife the one i went to at and died for unpaid for is the time of presenting her before his own father all the other things that happened there was before her father now is time and the father now welcomes you into his family you are now part of the family and you have the same inheritance as your husband and that is exactly how it is with the believers and i hear an emano then the processes start they come under what is called a canopy the hooper that's what the jews call it now ladies and gentlemen what you now do here is the administering of marriage vows they take their vows what you call oat this is a wedding ceremony and you administer it and right after that he now takes her into the bridal chamber for seven days this is the part where sex comes in in the marriage they are consummating the marriage but meanwhile what is going on outside why this thing is going on is a massive feast people are eating and celebrating and different things but the two people that are married are inside they have finished their public whatever they are doing their honeymoon on the seventh day they are now come out to present themselves again now stand i will tell you something that is interesting the jews do it if they bring that thing back today many people will die on that seventh day when they come out of the bridal chamber to present themselves the groom must provide what is called the token of virginity it means when they go in to begin their marital consummation there is a white sheet that is laid so that when the marriage is consummated blood that drips from the woman stand that and you have to preserve it when they come out they have to present it it means that the marriage was consummated many marriages in those days come be ended or called off if there is an issue in this area people don't do it anymore these days as a sign because what it means is that if that was not presented what it means is that this lady has been playing remember he came here paid the diary married her went home prepared where they were going to live has now come back to take um and about a year has elapsed it means that i married you left you to go and get ready for our family and now i've come for the wedding and now you have been playing around with other boys christianity is also built on these principles jesus has paid the full price for our redemption if you accept christ as your savior you are a married person spiritually speaking you are his bride but you can see now he has not taken us the rapture of the church is the day he's coming to take the bride finally but when he comes he must not find you messed up polluted living worldly behaving like you are not a woman in marriage because believers that he finds in that state will actually have marriage termination that is the concept of left behind christians you'll be hearing about those that will be left behind when the rapture happens so sometimes in jewish customs it's time to now come and get the bride and the bride has been involved in some other things and what started beautifully is called of actually i don't even want to take it for that there are cases where that lady gets stoned let's rediscover the sanctity of marriage that's the whole thing behind all this illustration let's rediscover as young people the covenant foundation on which christian marriages are built the restoration of this value and this truth will end much of this so in this time we are calling for restoration rebuilding reformation in our nation is not just in the political sector the we all as young people must team up to begin to restore the moral values especially the warning families if the family goes forget about it everything will follow it if the sanctity of marriage means nothing of course the sanctity of life and everything goes with it god bless you guys god bless you guys [Music] [Music] you

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Length: 95min 54sec (5754 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 16 2021