Leslie Nielsen's Greatest Naked Gun Lines

a Panamanian ship Franklin Nordberg said I love you he was telling you the name of the ship I realized that now you want to take a dinghy no no I took care that the press conference lieutenant the feeling is mutual Cuban I know Gaucho Irish my father was from Wales so they were able to get him to the hospital in time yes he's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the worthless miracle her hair was the color of gold in old paintings she had a full set of curves and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day she was giving me a look I could feel in my hip pocket nice beaver thank you I just had a stuffed let me help you with that I've heard the lease works dangerous it is that's why I carry a big gun aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally I used to have that problem where did you do about it I just think about baseball how is your own [Music] you'd be the judge of that I've got nine more this world is such a violent place it was not be out of a job I'm old story boy finds girl boy loses girl girl finds boy boy forgets girl boy remembers girl the girl dies and that tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day good year no the worst I want you to know practice it's not a lot [Music] can I interest you in a nightcap no thank you I don't wear them that's my policy yes well when I see five weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park and full view of a hundred people I shoot the best if that's my policy treinen thank you're both right the little meeting they've turned into a peekaboo session with bill it's all set up by someone who's been playing me like a violin at the annual saps convention it is true what they say cops and women don't mix like eating a spoonful of Drano sure it'll clean you out and leave your hollow inside here and take this back they can't kick you off the force brackets just not fair always fair just think the next time I shoot someone I could be arrested - hey the missing evidence in the Kilner case my god he was innocent he wants you to cheer - years ago I couldn't believe it was her was like a dream but there she was just like I remembered her at a delicately beautiful face and a body that could never cheese sandwich from across the room and breasts that seemed to say hey look at these she was the kind of woman that made you want to drop to your knees and thank God you were there yeah she reminded me of my mother all right no doubt about it who's obsessed just because you backed out in the wedding two years ago I'd forgotten all about it this ancient history like the Democratic Party Frank he was in tears and Church crying like a baby at Frank get a hold of yourself I had to return thirteen Cuisinarts that's enough Frank really kept the salad shooter though Caucasian Asian white guy with a mustache about six foot three not a big mustache lieutenant Frank Drebin police squad this is my captain Ed Hocken is this some kind of bust well it's very impressive yes but we need to ask you a few questions do you realize that because of you this city is being overrun by baboons well isn't that the fault of the voters I don't recall seeing your name on the guest list nothing to be embarrassed about I sometimes go by my maiden name a nice party huh see a lot of familiar face limits you gamble lieutenant every time I order out like you to consider filling a special post I'm gonna create may mean long hours dangerous nights and being surrounded by some of the scummiest elements in our society you want me to be in your cabinet now I guess love is like the ozone layer you'd never miss it until it's gone blowing away a fleeing suspect with my 44 Magnum used to be everything to me I enjoyed it well who wouldn't Frank jr. and all the Frank juniors can sit under a shade tree breathe the air swim in the ocean and go into a 7-eleven without an interpreter I wanna wear any the sea otter without getting sick I want a world where the Democrats will put somebody up there worth voting for maybe it's your fault if you tried sexy lingerie some lacy underwear of a black teddy I've tried wearing them all they don't work oh why don't you want to have a child didn't I try to adopt that 18 year old Korean girl just be Jane and Frank lovers we haven't had a night like that enough in a long time not together Frank having a baby is a big responsibility it's like being in charge of Sanitation elation jail I'm just frightened Frank besides you haven't shot anybody in six months that's true funny how you miss the little things might be good to feel that cold hard steel pressed against my thigh once again the thrill of the chase may be a man you might end up dead you might end up dead is my middle name what about Jane I don't know her middle a way faster than you can say spread of them I was inside the cold gray walls of Statesville prison I was surrounded by pimps rapists and murderers it was like being in the stands at a Los Angeles Raiders game you jumpin awfully loud for new commands he flashed in the big eyes now personally balance I rotate your jaw hey you know who you talking to the man is Rocco Dillon where's your prison number cuz I listed this place here change as a man oh yeah my way I used to be wait I was the drummer for the Osmonds screw with me he'll make you feel pain like he never felt before I know I remember the Osmonds like a blind man at an orgy I was gonna have to feel things out I convinced Rocco to dig a tunnel it was either there to go out in the laundry truck but the thought of lying in a pile of underwear knows Dan and skid marks Janice didn't leave a good taste in my mouth I had a feeling she didn't care for me coming along [Music] like a [ __ ] at a urinal I was gonna have to stay on my toes no phone a mild from civilization my prospects look Bleeker than a gerbils in the bathhouse have you seen my pigeon pigeon what pigeon I could have two lovers kinky but I like my sex away I play basketball one-on-one and with his little dribbling as possible we all know that women make the best hostages they're smaller are easy to take along eat less smell nice you'll never get away with this Rocco's gonna kill you whoever you are Frank Drebin police squad a little unusual not really it happened to me a couple of times now here's the plan Flynn you'll never stop rockin your chances are one in a million that's still better than any state lottery I love you wrong answer I dropped out of the staff of the Month Club a long time ago now listen to me Angel drawers you've got one last chance and I don't mean one of those major league baseball Steve how kind of last chances now where is Jane

Channel: Mind Landfill

Views: 2,628,832

Rating: 4.8775601 out of 5

Keywords: leslie nielsen greatest lines, leslie nielsen lines, leslie nielsen quotes, nielsens greatest, Frank Drebin, leslie, Leslie nielsen, frank, drebin, nielsen, Naked Gun series, Naked Gun trilogy, naked gun, compilation, naked gun compliation, leslie nielsen compliation, frank drebin compliation

Id: zeN7D1x-phc

Length: 8min 46sec (526 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 29 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/CrashTextDummie]

This may actually be my favorite trilogy of all time. And don't tell me the sequels didn't live up to the original. The finale of the third movie at the academy awards is so outrageous, just thinking about it makes me laugh.

[u/shebha715]

Cutting out Nancy Marchand's great punchline of " That was a Shakespeare-In-The-Park production of "Julius Caesar", you moron! You killed 5 actors! Good ones" is criminal.

[u/roxtoby]

I know it's from Police Squad which is the TV show and this is a movie sub, but my favorite Drebbin line has always been (when asked "Who are you? And how did you get in here?") "I'm a locksmith. And I'm a locksmith."

[u/ThisIsRyGuy]

I have such fond memories of the first one. Sorry for the long post, but here it goes.

I used to go stay with my grandma for a couple of weeks every summer. We wouldn't do much. Go to the movies, go to King's Island,ay around and do nothing but eat and watch TV. We also rented a lot of movies.

I had never heard of The Naked Gun before but the cover of it looks absurd so I asked if I could rent it. She asked what it was rated since I wasn't allowed to watch R rated movies, so I was good to go.

We go back and I pop in the movie and we start watching. We're both laughing and the stupid stuff that Drebin says and does. Then this scene comes on.

We laughed ourselves to tears. I don't even know how many times we rewound that scene to watch it but we were crying from laughter the entire time. It's a memory that will stay with me for the rest of my life. And it's all thanks to Leslie Nielsen!

Edit: My fat thumbs have issues with the keyboard

[u/rushfan6588]

Nielsen was great because he could deliver the most ridiculous lines with total seriousness. He was a genuinely solid actor who could play everything straight and would pepper in some genuine goofiness when needed, like when he clothesline’s the other couple on the beach.

The line that will always destroy me is from Wrongfully Accused:

Leslie Nielsen “Your dog certainly has a surprised look on his face”

Kelly LeBrock “That’s because you’re looking at his but”

Nielsen “Well then he’s definitely not going to enjoy that treat I just fed him”

[u/TriscuitCracker]

"Want to take a dinghy, Frank?"

"No, I took care of that back at the office."

I've used that line many a time when leaving a group of friends to use the bathroom.

[u/Ccaves0127]

"Like a midget at a urinal, I had to stay on my toes"

[u/Talon2004]

Police Squad was such a great series. So sad that people didn’t understand the genius comedy they afforded. I believe the episodes can be obtained on DVD.

[u/erickgramajo]

so, the whole movie