Kunal Nayyar - An Indian Accent + A Scottish Accent = Hilarious - 7/8 Visits In Chron. Order [720p]

[Music] so mr. Ferguson is it great yes I understand that you're interested in applying for the position of our friend that would be great I'm very lonely look oh no I don't see why we need a new Iraq second b-24 in one I didn't know that come on Gregg what do you do for a living excuse me I have the clipboard I'll ask the questions so Craig what do you do for a living I host the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson I see and what time is that on 12:37 a.m. given that a M stands for ante meridiem wouldn't it more logically be called the early Early Show with Craig Ferguson don't know the answer is yes - eight-point I don't know that was going to be attached and you're really not going to like the physical now please answer the following questions to the best of your ability the first category is Star Wars in the briefing before the Death Star battle Luke Skywalker is seated next to whom I know and I think I know this it's a trick question you would think it would be begs as childhood friend from Tatooine but I'm going to go with wedge correct five-point I'm going to go with wage that is what's up even my I don't like it next question for five points apiece you have 20 seconds to name all the stretchy superheroes go plastic man mr. fantastic Elastigirl Stretch Armstrong and Stretch Armstrong is a toy not a superhero but they are making a Stretch Armstrong Luffy and slinky dog within Toy Story I think you see the absurdity of your argument I'm sorry mr. Ferguson I think we're done here no he didn't ask me a single dr. booth question I really don't think that'll be necessary good day mr. Ferguson doctor news home planet is Gallifrey I said good day dr. who find the TARDIS in a scrub cured first me let it go this is not a testing long past fine see you guys in a few minutes on the show he is on to show it was a humorous conceit predicated on a violation of the fourth wall and I did not care for it we are well rid of him what would we do here The Late Late Show opening title montage I just told you I do not care for that in 2011 NASA launched the last space shuttle mission as a publicity stunt the crew included Academy award-winning actor Michael Caine but during a spacewalk he got a little tipsy and floated away Oh etc frozen for centuries in the dark reaches of space he was finally defrosted in the Year 2350 for [Music] all right captain's log stardate a march of f23 I know what four years is supposed to be 23:54 [Applause] [Music] and this is a stapler your voice recorders over there captain well thank you first mate it's strange though if you think about it that this far into the future we still need staplers [Applause] not estranged is wearing a spacesuit and a battle cruiser that has full pressurization this is vintage and if i hook up a vacuum it is little port down here near my business dingdong proper about a suction hola last class and I'll tell you another thing eyebrows I got this I got this at Cape Canaveral it is an a galaxy Cape Canaveral Norwich in Florida in America on earth oh yeah I read about herbs it's a small blue planet destroyed in a nuclear war started by President Justin Bieber that's right laughter yeah don't like me I would about it for that very little Muppet captain were approaching Orion's belt rhymes belt that means we're not far from Orion's ass all right sometimes I wonder why they bother defrosting you oh you're bloody well know why they defrosted me I am Michael Caine I'm here against some star power to this mission the same star power you brought to jaws 400 on Miss Congeniality yeah you you really clapped up that remake of be which no I see actually be which is pretty good none yeah put a fresh twist on police and some old concept to the VA shut up dodeth we had a saying artists make films the rest of you make television yeah you're a smug bastard yet possibly yeah all right we're about bloody Starcher look not just second-guess you captain but you should use the navigation unit look the TPP [Music] this is the navigation unit anything for lovely hat reminds me of something a girl big whatever you're right maybe bd/dvd or I that's just that thing the zero gravity makes and farty lieutenant bring me my star charts Roger all right there you go hey thanks up today so you just violated the Alliance gourd Alliance code of conduct 1-1 3-8 clearly states no captain shall fraternize with pre members of the opposite sex that's where I've got you see because the lieutenant air is not of the opposite sex all the blocks on this planet look like this really what are the women on her planet look like you don't want to know really yeah what's wrong hey he's crying Oh another official area found out as well can you the cellphone coming yeah now here's he can throw his his work that's important Oh sad possessive well captain we must proceed slowly these asteroids are displaying Brownian motion offer so could it will you outdo this open driver's licenses long before you two were grown in a tattoo whoops-a-daisy stereo like would you say I step out of this suit and you could analyze my dark matter tune in next week to find out is this the end of the captain's long run of incompetent and/or sexual harassment probably not are these two going to rise up and realize that starring on a hit sitcom is a lot better than being on an obscure late-night show is he really a dude really seriously I got a no well I'll try and find out alright let me drink carry on everyone my first guest tonight is a very attractive actor oh yes he's attractive yeah yeah he started the Big Bang Theory which is on Thursday night at 8:00 on CBS [Applause] hi guna man but you've changed you know that I in the lungs in the last five years I've really really changed you have changed all I think about this like first of all you come out here with a fantastic and very expensive looking leather jacket right yes which tells me that you've renegotiated your contract with CBS yes and may I say and I don't mean this in any way other than a huge compliment you're a little bit site Bernie okay okay okay which tells me you're you know you're you're doing Northside one mean affluence bright and she's always good ladies always say he's got a lot of hair down the side of his face that's what they're looking for that means there's lots of hair and everywhere too I don't know that's what the lights are good on you are you went too far Larry always I always go to you're too far but you know what's interesting about you you bring it back I do yeah you go too far then you bring it back you know me so well I do you look I have to tell you can now you're the wind beneath my wings do you want to sing that for little bit no I partly we go into trouble with the musical okay well I think if I say I really like that song that will help right that okay I really like that so I like to I like the wind business your wing are you but you know it's funny about it's not really funny but the choice then I'll do that here exactly the 20 when you start something with funny it's funny and then you say it and it's actually not that funny then you're setting yourself up for disaster so this is not actually that funny it's actually a fact is that the I think security this is a new inspect but this jacket was free yeah because the thing is when you don't have money and you're trying to make it then you have to pay for everything but then when you actually make it have money then you get everything for free yeah which is so bizarre yeah I know I am still paying for logging all right oh yeah if I say I like that word I can say that word Jana thought that was all you can tell partly because it's more no pain for poop yeah poop is one of those word Cooper's on those words that's really interesting like if you say poop insert the other word and a bar like a girl might be like Oh Oh poop instead of that word then you have be sensitive yeah yeah yeah yeah because it's funny when you just do everything cool of everything as opposed to that over everything you know you've changed man yeah I become so Hollywood I'm using was they cool yeah yeah is the big Hollywood work how are you doing did your parents come over and visit did that actually happen you were talking about they came to visit from India right it came from India did you take a flight it takes about 22 to 24 hours to fly Wow and then they came which is you know they've come to America quite a bit since 99 and they are they had a great time you know I love my parents come because my whole house smells like Indian food I know Indian and my house smells like indeed I do love and did I love it yeah you know people like people don't like it because it's too spicy well that's because they don't know anything about it and they're not they're not people of the world that's right jobs are there Canelo comes out you went crazy there hey I become told you become so I'm just losing a very good now what kind of indeed for judge you enjoy the core mosz the cool MA yeah that's what I meant to say cool man yeah it sounded like you said you like the Karma Wow lots were on the subject do you like the Karma I do like Karma I think Armas a good thing if you have good karma then good things will happen to you if you have bad karma then the world will poop on you the gentleman said that I could see it very good he's very excited you called him a gentleman already now listen weird what did they do then weather here did you take him started and stuff yeah no I've been speaking of something I did take them to Hawaii for one of my friend's wedding in Hawaii the first day how did you like that I liked it it was very fresh which is really nice the seafood is very delicious but you know seriously the one thing that really irritated me is that I'm not a big feet person foot like like foot like you know I don't like feet feet I do I wish that were iron no um you don't like you know how that that feeling you have not you anyone pass say when you're on the top of a tall building units essentially above jumping out or yeah right I cannot if someone's feet are exposed not look at the feet and in Hawaii apparently no one wears shoes or if you do issues your feet are exposed so if I was like oh that girl's so pretty I would look at her feet and for some reason incessantly they wouldn't be nice or something or they wouldn't be up to par and every I was the ideal fit for you [Music] why you your hating on my feet you now age we really don't like getting a tree think another custom looking I don't mind you looking at the Broncos like you've got that little sweat glistening on your toll just didn't like yeah little bit of toe cleavage there you know what ladies like by the way while we're on the subject if you get a little soft mark here there like that law it drives them crazy look at lies being rule right now oh wow they're salivating tell me do I have one yeah yeah I don't have one now you don't yeah that even stop doing that I'm sorry Louis alright so please I don't like all right all right it's behind you you talk back on cuz you go madelung I know and then I'll be talking and your footing are I myself I she's lighting up in a flea all right anyway so you went out why was that nice then it'll give everyone a hard time did put shoes on everyone no I had to become okay with it but you know it's like you're drinking some nice drinks and eat some food and then people are there and they're picking the toes and they eating a pizza is sophistic and you know I was lovely yeah we have to take a commercial break okay yeah you know who responds on the show tonight who myself foot powder is that real thank you - you gotta hit that would be funny that would be funny yeah then we take a commercial break Jeff Jeff choking now your feet where when did you come over here to the commercial break thing Jeff all right tonight's program brought to you by foot powder we'll see in just a moment [Music] [Applause] [Music] burger with a I'm here with Cannella our if you don't know in the book canal he's the guy holy would the love speech so if you ever run in a canal the thing to do is take off your socks and shoes and give them a good rub oh no it would feet did someone hurt you with their feet but you know I don't know what it is you know what it is I just think that I'm sometimes I'm worried that if someone's really put someone's really perfect then I find an imperfection in them and it was always the feet and just I feel like my doing wait wait wait did we talking about a potential mate here someone that you would like to you know date and potentially marry is that what we're talking about Oh see now you're freezing me into a corner I'm not painting nude peeping you I'm you I'm not paint again and I was like yeah you're not my mosaic I'm just I'm trying to help you man think of me as a psychiatrist okay all right so one day um no I know I defeat thing I think that like okay without pissing off my character pissing and without she as long as you don't sing in the rain instead of cheating off my entire race no I'm sure I'm not going to say anything I just think that the decision I think that was a very wise okay let's skip the feet they already like feet all right so let's look at that from a different angle okay what are you looking for in a lady hmm well other than the physical attributes that I enjoy well what are they don't be shy it your own way I like a woman who had lovely hear or beautiful eyes I like man don't say it now okay I love luscious long hair and I like eye and a nice smile and a nice smile and intelligence intelligence does matter God goddess yes after the fantasy subside you know then it just becomes like a one-night stand not that I know anything about that if I want to you know once the fantasy subside then you start paying attention to stuff like feed and stuff right so it has to be it has to be I gotta get over this beeping yeah no but but seriously what do I looking for in a woman she has to have a good sense of humor to me I know now everybody says no no but that's the truth no you can't you can't say you're the cliche because you always say that but is that the truth wait we I was gonna say that I was going to say is that a sense of humor is a it's a big thing to say so what I'm saying is what what sense of humor are we talking about someone that enjoys poop jokes are we talking about someone who enjoys the cartoons in The New Yorker ie a pedantic idea yeah that's exactly what I'm saying yeah God okay no no I got you consider yoga dad ah come on no the depite kind I like the poop kind of sense of you like so you're looking for you're looking for a gregarious fun-loving woman yet with nice hair and good eyes yes it doesn't I don't give she's intelligent but she has to be bring I think that might be she has to have a she have a good sense of humor right it has to be kind to animals well that oh god most women I know are kind to animals if you have not met some of the women that I know they're cruel to animals one thing you know being indifferent to an animal is being cruel to an animal I'm not one of those like I care for animals fanatics I'm just saying like like I'm not going to dress up my dog in a sweater and call him Bugsy and say hey look at my friend bug the amount that guy okay that that happened once it's a long story but uh but like you know people who I don't trust people who don't get four dogs no no I I hear what you're saying yeah I have three dogs I have three I care for - okay I trust you 85% all right well the thing is one of my dogs is a Jack Russell Terrier is very very difficult but really animal to be fond of Y times because I got em I got em back yeah like you see like if you like like that all the time yeah it's a Jack Russell terriers it's a it's an Irish fighting dog oh yeah I wonder where he takes off this poster from that uh that wasn't a do you have any dogs yes in India we have a black Labrador and then what we in Hindi call al unter which is just a hunter is just a what's the word I'm looking for the concrete dog a mongrel right feed dog I don't know why the mix if you don't want it you don't want to be cruel to dogs but you call a your mongrel cuddles that's funny it's funny when like a street dog is called cuddles right like like a small dog is called boss that's funny yeah what's the funniest dog name not to put you on the spot it's your dog sure I should stop talking but anyway no man I'm very happy that you do Ken Ken yeah I know a guy called a dog cocaine if they have a girl dog called Bobby that were so careful I don't know if I was technically a joke there canal question I should just date myself um let's talk about that do you date yourself you know what I mean to you uh by your big self Bator well I have I have long hair and eyes and about that intelligent right yeah I do i I do look for through you I well let me ask you something are you are you add more attracted to Indian girls II looking for a girl from your own cultural background or you know I'm is that important not to me I'm very open to all of the ladies any lady in fact uh anybody that would give me the time of day alright so so really you know like beggars can't be choosers and I can't just be like oh wow you're a white girl and I talk to you I'm like you're a girl you're talking to me eh Thanks take off my leather jacket yeah and I don't do very well yeah so I'm open to all the ladies go to the ladies good what about you would you you hope no I'm married I know none of the lady again anything else going on you kidding me I'm married man nothing ever at a time so okay okay do you want a singer no no no no we have to do off word pause okay okay pause is good are they go wait wait you have got all the oxygen okay so when I open for a mouth organ okay here or go for the big cash prize well if this show some let's get that one the big flash Bryden Drive 50 bucks and singles my friend really yeah take that put it your little leather jacket 50 bucks and singles right there well since I've been initiated my contract I'm gonna pass on that but let's do the let's do the awkward pause or I'll leave the money don't want you to give the cash price to the audience sure sorry for legal reasons I can oh just give them away can you can I give them away like I can't it's like I just guys like threw at them and then no no no no wait for the end of the show and then threw it so it at least Beedrill see why maybe I won't it's a good-looking recipe in the roof yeah I think some of these girls aren't lesbians I am NOT the lesbians can't be good-looking all authority lies over Parvati so what do you want to UM Nick State with Nick State the cash price right no cash price so we're going straight for the Oakland applause all right awkward pause with subtext okay all right [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] Oh [Applause] [Music] my first guys tonight fantastic actor he stars in the Big Bang Theory which new season premieres is September 27th on CBS take a look at this [Music] [Applause] [Music] shut up ladies ladies please ladies please in ladies how did you know ladies clapping and I think the ladies weren't clapping it was only the gentlemen's were clapping the ladies were like we don't care for him Craig that's not true a ladies clap is very delicate and this was delicate clapping yeah you can tell the difference between male and female clapping you can't I can't okay close your eyes someone clap all right a man or woman clap just one person all right no no just one button just no please one person okay 1 1% now I can tell woman oh man a man I hope my eyes of all right this is a stupid game oh I I was really enjoying the game but a terrible game it's promised I'm lovely I'm lovely you are lovely everywhere everybody look great you're very well and really mix yeah I recently got married well there you are congratulations so my wife dressed me today I think that's really why I'm looking up actually dress you like your style but explain to the best TV who serve the guy depends on based on just straight to the pan it's my new thing you don't wear underpants it's my new thing but I can't talk about it on air so I think we have to well it's just it's very freeing so underneath your dick can I be honest though you know what it really is for that as I've gotten older when I wear tight undies it pushes the skin off my belly up and it looks like I have a belly which I don't really have a belly well well if you don't have a belly then how can it be pushed up already okay I have a little belly that's the true that's part of being married you you'll get a little fatter really you'll yes you you'll marry you look wonderful yeah but I'm better than I used to be that's who you have did they start feeding you up in case you get any ideas you look weight very broad nests that yeah case you start thinking and I still got it going on no you don't have a go that's funny thing about marriages I could not rig the pants in the relationship I can't say pants without thinking about underwear but I basically you know my wife obviously knows me was enough to know that I'm not the most manly man in the world we have all I'm not like effeminate but I'm also not manly but yet she still makes me do all of the manly things in the house well you have to take out the trash in all that is rages I have we moved on haven't we moved on no I as much as progress you've made in this world I still have to take out the trash what about putting up shelving you have to do any other I mean I know now no I I tried I have hung a few a few pictures on the wall with a hammer and a nail which is pretty cool that's pretty good I'll just cook it they always cook it because I never used that that you know the bubble thing the level thing and I don't know how you don't know you don't use the bubble saying you can't do that what do you use you use a little bit of a bubble gum behind and then you get a picture right and then you put the gum behind and you squeeze it in and then it stays really one of the guys I should have my own show yeah uh because I know I knew you were going to be get married because I saw you at the airport before ever since before Christmas was that and you know that you cut the line I had to I had to cut the line why I had shingles at the time oh really it was a medical emergency I had to get to a comfortable seat very soon I wait she goes contagious because I hugged you yeah well how did you feel awful but I was like did you tell me I was going on the way to getting married now you what I did what do you think oh no I'm going to get shingles on the way to my wedding which you probably did you gave me singles no I don't think I don't know I think it is it can be contagious if you rub up against the actual shingle a bit it trust me you did not okay shingle or not shingles or not wait you got shingles on that part of your body when I'm confused oh no no no I'm not I'm not my junk no hear hear I got a little sick that's what you got you got it here yeah well you didn't touch me here - no I don't ever - remembered I don't remember I don't I don't remember I was touching a lot of things on that flight before your wedding the only way to get it in the only time began I'm not even making sense to myself in Seoul you're having a bit of a Freudian penis clever Friday slurp evening hey so where did you get married then in India and yes yeah what a lovely choice why did you go there I don't know how to explain this to you I'm Indian no no I don't understand I know it's part of India you from New Delhi oh right the capital of India so anyway I got the show that goes in Burma hey doesn't matter I got married in India I was a lot of fun and yeah you have an elephant I know I came in on a horse oh nice which is pretty standard not that very good yeah okay knock it off now get off your freaking about sorry it's very it's put in a very interesting position to be directly stirring it all again yeah weird that like I came alone on a prettier horse no offense mr. creepy VP but um I just said creepy VP because you know why because you said to ZZZ when you were done with the hurts horse earlier you said it was going to these yeah and I say that Craig can get away with saying words like two Z's then I can get away with words like creepy weepy okay thank you so wait no we're sick break oh okay [Music] you [Music] make a promise to your dad you gotta do it are you a good player yeah I bar I am really welcome back can I was just tell me a little happened in his wedding oh yeah I got married oh well that's great convention very much well get out ir thank you it was a wonderful time great and I had to be honest I know in a time where you know marriage is in the most sacred thing in the world I don't tell you it is in mind listen I'm just saying I love being married great how long have you been married seven months yeah I knew it well I'm not being cynical about love man I'm no no come on I'm not beating a hater on you love it oh no I know you guys will be great forever and ever thank you no it's fine I would have invited you if you didn't have shingles how did you know and you didn't know I had shingles until I told you right there so when I got back to India I had shingles all of my bodies I knew hatching of let's stop talking about shingles where we got some arrows huh Oh what you're not proposed yeah [Music] [Music] why my first guest tonight is an actor an actor I know he stars in the Big Bang Theory [Applause] I know there's Thursday nights at 8:00 on CBS [Applause] uh take a look at [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Hey but now very good [Music] doesn't work if you only have one syllable because you can take Kunal and I have to go like Craig what my name isn't a dramatic enough lawyers are not the dramatic name there's noise apparently only has one terrible crash yeah but your but your last name is for the Craig Ferguson what a cool name you know my name is like Kunal Nayyar like it's not you know is it not here is that it's like it's like actually in India you pronounce it mayor like mayor like gone mayor you related John Mayer he thought horrible he's a great voice that guy's God and he very good with the ladies oh yeah always beating beautiful women yes and the thing is other women who II not dating they love him too which alright I'll just stay outside between you and John meow I just made it up I wonder maybe seems very talented mine very nice I'm here yeah looks nice many things your face look like when you think uh let's try right okay it's all artificial narrow down what would you what song you like you're saying it's no in public domain Frere Jacques I could I am very shocked I think that what is that what does that means we have a cultural difference here what is what the contrary Jacques French it's my brother Jack is like frère Jacques Frere Jacques tore me well now we know what you're singing wait I told ya that was my die I'll do my other singing face what ok very good [Music] you know what people close their I know what is it was watching the other day like the Grammys or something and I can't name who was who was the actress but there was an actress in the audience who was singing along with one of the musicians and like pointing out the note oh yeah I'm like not only are you lip singing to the music you're also fakely pointing out notes like when everything about hi I can't say who it is but well I know because that's not the kind of gentleman that I am Caroline oh come on oh come on I'm all right right I don't even know oh I don't know I seriously don't really yeah I never never heard of the woman at all you sure she's a real actress well I think she is all right all right now close you can feel like when the own American Idol you watch that show yeah sometimes yeah all right ah I've seen it yeah well you know when they always do the same thing is though not that little finger Billy I get that little clitoral stimulation thing that's going on you can see that right on network television okay yeah yeah [Applause] wait wait hold on apparently we can restate one and we've used it up okay good all right that would go anyway nice hat thank you yeah are you are you making could you like to have a you two things I like my hat I'm concerned it might be on wrong way around people like I do it made you do it ah I wanted to see if you were actually losing your hair and we're too frightened to Taylor's no you know what is interesting about losing hair for me though is I've gotten like a garden like a why'd we don't speak now yeah all right it's not bad right yeah that's good so unfortunate I don't look as good as Jude Law but when I'm 35 I'm gonna start wearing it back like Jude Law I feel great I'm great yeah [Music] I have had this hat for eight years do and I bought it for $8.00 I have what since I have watched their you wash your hat or do you have people wash your hat you know and I wash my own hat all the rhythm can't you watch your own angle yeah she's watching it right now yes yeah you can get actually I've never washed it but I would presume you can get a hat dry-cleaned yeah I'm pretty sure this hat drive my genius all over Los Angeles have you ever take your hat to India well this hat had gone to India you can make it flat like this and then put it in the suitcase and then when you get home you just like do this a bunch and when you go up like when you visit relatives in India and you've got their hat on are they like oh nice hat Hollywood oh yeah yeah yeah they're always like Oh American returned the Hollywood yeah I get that Scotland as well oh really good where's your hat you know they all got a hat you don't have a hat oh man yeah no take it off no I like it maybe well you'd be quite good if you turned up to do the show and you took your hat off and put it down like you were a doctor you know it's like well great guys oh yes so you walk in and I'm just like well Craig yes um there's some good news in this some bad news you got me a hat you can't have it if that's going to help you am I going to have to wash my own hat from now on doctors that were you're saying have you ever think about that doctor doctor sir that's a good job you know once the sitcom things done becoming a doctor with a cz in one universe what I want to what the are you running out of things to say if you just like thinking nein things to me I mean I would rather like you ever see if you ever seen a kangaroo live got another joke that I'm not getting I don't know joke it's an inane thing that I just made up to say to you have you ever seen a kangaroo alive no you know I find interesting what kangaroos though is they have a real-life pouch that they put their babies into Oh what you thought it was somebody who's making it up like it was a dozen if you haven't okay if you're a kid and you read all these code like cartoon books that have these things and then does it sound like a made-up thing that there's an animal that actually has like a pocket in its body that you can put your baby in like doesn't that hair you make a fair point yeah okay this is ridiculous it has flat no yeah you got a bit hot hair light it a little bit we have to take a commercial break it cool okay [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] yard in Scotland oh hey we were just talking about golf canals taking up golf and so am i under the breath no I know it's Brett but I like it and we play golf together like friends I know I like could you like God fashion yes that's nothing do you like dutiful like the Scottish glad type with the hey I'm Scott like plus fours and then you know and the prod you wear the bra I don't know I don't know what that is maybe that's just me yeah cutie is there like both broad that you wear on your chow I don't think maybe if there is a Miss or something so what it meant that we had to start wearing bras that would be insane yeah I'll do if you do it okay that's the worst game ever because whenever someone says that then they don't actually do it so you're the idiot start wearing a bra yeah Ferguson told me to wear this to the Emmys oh don't worry I'll never be at the end go well we're out of time you wanna want to be fun a bag of money a big foam finger you want some coconuts or you want your own name tag from The Price is Right okay I'll do my own intact thought you'd do it yourself don't you do it all right I'll do it right okay so you want me to spell COO now ya wanna smell my pen yeah mother that's good [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] hey buddy hi buddy cute you look you look great you look and say yeah I like your sideburns is a very strong bold look for you I like a look yeah I've never seen you with sideburns before oh yeah they grow very fast your hair grows in st. my hair and my nails yeah grow like insanely fast bandits but you look like I enter Mumford & Sons do you enjoy the yeah I like I like the music i'm not sure about they look but i like the music well it's get up at Mumford & Sons really yeah a little bit you look like you can have Indian Mumford and Sunday you know you know how I know when my sideburns are getting long because I'll like just incessantly keep calling them then you can start looking a little Hasidic if you get in yeah you know I didn't have much interaction with Jewish people when I was in India because we it was just you know and when I moved to Los Angeles I would see them in the full yeah the whole thing and and I my first instinct was would they be feeling hot because I have must be very hard to wear all that I don't really want to get into that no no I don't either I just I don't I didn't want to know where to go with that I you know yeah anyway hey a lot mean Independence Day but it's it that's the big one I know they have you ever been Latvia or even close or may allot vain or anything I never met a lot vien but we have an Independence Day in India well of course so if you want to talk about that I know a lot about that but I don't know a lot about that sure how do you celebrate Independence Day yeah we bring a bunch of tanks and stuff out and we fly like fighter jets and we all clap when we see like cool things like that yeah and so it's pretty cool actually I like that you just like parade them up and down exactly yeah how do you think the how do you think they celebrate Latvian independence day probably much the same way I imagine yeah you know that saving a bunch of tanks that like to run them up and down and then put them away again how many thanks do you think they have when Latvia yeah I wouldn't dare to say I know probably half a dozen that imagine yeah that's so funny because I was going to say five and then I thought Greg is probably going to say six so I should have said I used some kind of mind reader no no no are you sure I have antennas in my side this is how it tune into people I said next to her I do this and then I wherein think now how are you doing with the B Mary do you okay yeah still married Wow oh that's like a year now and uh uh a year and a half Wow that's it I don't think yeah well yeah that's great yeah come on I really I I really love being married what else am I going to say baby laughs yeah yeah no I love being married you know it's - your wife - my wife yeah girl yeah she right when did she is Indian not that that mattered to know adding a bride but she's Indian it helps because then when we want to make fun of someone in front of us we can talk in Hindi and you really yeah you like talk Indy yeah we talk me we talk Hindi but we have a combination of English which is a Hindi and English I understand yeah exactly I understand one more than English anything which is which is English yeah no but it's like for example let's say we're having dinner and and we wanted to say and you were having dinner with us and I said isn't Craig's accent really nice but without that's on let's not know that yeah let's just what doesn't Craig irritate you didn't like Craig it neither did cut no irritates me I can't say that yeah but I would say I would say Greg it not today well I'd I'd be like what the hell did I say there and I'd be like we were just saying that your accent is adorable even though that means donkey you sure you were saying I was a donkey yeah that would be like sort of it is that big in Sultan India to call someone a donkey yeah we have a lot of donkeys in India where are you cruel to them nowhere nice to them they carry bricks and stuff there okay pretty you tonight the same you don't eat them I mean yeah well we don't eat them either yeah I know something it has anyone weak well I know the French you know the French oh yeah I D chow down on anything that's adorable you know I would love to yeah alright it's funny because when I went to when I was in Patty I was at English for Paris no that's just Los Angeles papyrus I we I had so we were subbed edition I didn't know what it was and I was eating it and I it was disgusting and I realized what it was it was beef tongue it was the the beef tongue or the tongue of a cow dung beep door turn you know in India did the in the villages they build like Hut's out of cow dung yeah do that no but I'm pretending I did and this yeah it's like cow dung and dry cow dung and it is very good as fertilizer so they give you in your backyard in your in your garden if your plants are dying just try to get some cow dung yeah okay and dry it up and then just put it in your plan I don't know I don't want to do that I'll just you can put on gloves I'm not saying use your bare naked hands to scoop up the we're naked hands what do you do I don't well you build a house I've carried on their villages villages with out of cow dung they're like little doesn't smell bad though yeah it really does and I'm understood that you have you ever smelled sugarcane Bunch sugarcane it smells like pee pee yeah I have and have you ever smelled a popcorn properly like smell popcorn next time you smell popcorn movie theater it smells like hamsters when you're ruining popcorn for me now or maybe I'm improving hamsters but maybe actually really yeah watch half-filled glass half-empty do you give a sensitive nose mm-hmm no I mean not like your noses feelings get hurt I mean like did you have like a crisp in here don't have the feelings of my dog no I I can smell well not not really I mean I was you know as a blackout drunk for 15 years a lot of this stuff is all short you know plus you know your occasional you know yeah I don't know what that means but is so you don't have a sensitive nose then how do you know like I have a very sensitive nose and so if I'm smelling bad or something I get very self-conscious it'd be like freeing do not smell that was right we want even better than this yeah my wife yeah when she was about 15 she was working with horses and she fell into a horse trough that was Nixon electric fans got very bad electric shock hope no no this is a good sense okay because what happened was she completely lost her sense of smell and I walk right answer yeah that ain't good sorry it's great it's a bad story but I had to happen again do you know where I was going up to yeah yeah so she can't smell so like if I as long as I keep things quiet I can do what I like like at night I could just like yeah you're crazy you're a wild man yeah that's pretty good at the wildest thing you're doing but like sneaking out chuff's no sneaking out and blowing your bad breath in the air no no I was dumb I was imitating another part of my body being quiet oh I don't know your ugly shape quite right all right I'd hold on again am I allowed to mimic not on TV using my mouth we both like an idol yeah yeah well put okay then but quietly I could do it quietly them yeah yeah no it's very difficult actually and you should try it with your good so did you arrive from the senses mouth well when she got electrocuted in height not what I am not advocating electrocuted wine yeah we're not in Latvia uh no but I don't know I'm joking yeah well don't that kind of joke is appreciated on lobbies there is a benefit yeah for they get depend for pressure it's yeah it's Mickey Mouse's day to or something yeah yeah Mickey Mouse day yeah would you are you mickeymo are you Disney guy uh yeah yeah it's very much Disney yes of course making eye droppers Indian Randy I like Mickey Mouse that make it to India come on make it a second and it did it we are you notice very popular those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles yeah which I call it awesome I clearly also very popular yeah well daddy still like them I mean they're turtles that are ninjas that are mutant and teenagers I mean how can you go wrong like Mickey Mouse is just a month named Mickey you say that one more time it was part of the family Minnie Mouse she was like mister no that's a girl friend I thank you most many most and then there's a Scrooge McDuck yeah yeah yeah I don't like him look yeah why because he pretends to be skies she's not really sky so the guy might getting the audience and yeah I think people want to be Scottish there that's cool like no one wants to be Indian because no one's like no one wants to you know no one else's there are five million Scottish people there are three hundred million half a billion a lot of us yeah but I'm just saying it's like like if an Indian guy picks up a girl he's like hey baby you look very nice in the moonlight you know can I touch your you know and so it's not like not sexy it's not sexy you only like when you say it you say hey baby all right let me say that same thing I've got attracted all right then okay baby I see you in the moonlight cannot touch your don't pretend like the Scottish accent isn't sex do you know that you used that I carry myself on there right we have to take a break we'll be right back you know [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] hi I'm Mona Bret no that was great man you should be on Dancing with the Stars thank you thank you thank you man you wearing a jacket why what's the deal why you me I told you don't make fun of me backstage well I just mentioned that's all I did okay I've done the suit thing then once I you liked it when I was sued then once I want to leather jacket and you made fun of me I didn't make fun of you I liked it you were like season for that was even for like nice as a jacket but then you were making a little money forget your seven leather check were you on season seven he didn't fly can you bring up he's seven yeah just got picked up for three more years you kidding me yep so that's fanfare dance season thank you maximizing amma then dr. Bunji you want to do ten you don't want to do any more than that do ten and then sees that set don't do any more time okay great thank you I should hide me what seeing them on which is 90 110 [Music] I'm just messing with the internet they're going crazy really yeah do you ever get people on the internet right and thanks about you yeah I I still like I'm sort of masochistic that way like I'll still read the horrible comments why people only I don't know because I'm crime and I'm crazy I'm an actor I'm crazy puss I never think of you has been crazy I think of you as being kind of vulnerable and beautiful thank you well thank you sensitive I work very hard on my beauty and my vulnerable ISM vulnerability after all it's not a word I was reading an article about cannibalism right before I got on stage and I think I mixed three words are you interested in cannibalism no no there was a story about cannibals and work wait what were you reading cannibal call with it it was on a non news site about two guys I don't know I just read the headline but did you do me a hard time you Rhett you easily said you read the sort of cannibalism and then asked you but you're like Arthur T's adjusting ever since season ten started you've changed well it's of truth to that Harry Potter do i watch the Harry Potter yeah can you rephrase that in cry you know the Harry four yeah you familiar with the Harry Potter you read the books and the movies I I have watched the book I have read the books I've watched the movies both of us can't speak English that's funny god bless america I like that I mean what do you think you like it yeah oh yeah yeah my why is Harry Potter on your mind I don't know it came up somehow earlier on I think cuz we were speaking Parseltongue and then and you know yeah yeah things got a little weird I liked it I mean I you know I liked it I think when I saw all the Harry Potter movies all I thought of like how cool would be to fly on an actual boomstick that's what I thought that's what I took away from all of those movies wow you really go invested in on their dunya you really took that the subtext and the hidden meaning yeah slang a broomstick that was my awesome yeah no but seriously think about it like I know that it's funny that I said that but seriously think good you would you actually fly on a broomstick if you could yes I mean well I mean I don't know actually if I think it but it would be dangerous I mean like a motorcycle well I mean if you had Indians driving the boomstick then oh yeah well what the human do Indian on the street in Indian it's okay yeah I can make a joke about Indian he's Indian for example if I was to make a joke about Scottish people oh-ho no one's going to pay good money for a broomstick I'm sorry cuz he's oh it's okay always thought that you were Irish Mick I I always thought that you were from Canada right here we are man come on stop joking no but you see are driving in India it's it's crazy because you're not only dodging just cars and motorcycles and buses but then the occasional cow and you can't add a car because they suspected I don't know if you hit a car while driving like a cow while driving you literally just lock the windows and get away because people will start smashing you up really yeah I mean accidents happen you know I mean if you da but it's not you know listen we're worshipping a cow it's not rational but don't say I didn't say that I mean I mean I mean I don't know what do you are you or share with you in the snake so you worshiping snakes now I got it I don't worship snakes no I enjoy their work I what about elephants you give elephants in India yeah we have and sometimes you'll see an elephant on the road obviously not just straight and a front but you know like the elephants that are going from wedding - wedding [Laughter] but like comedians we're very lucky that jump over here with us tonight hey what's up everybody uh but listen like Pete Blake for my wedding I came in on a white horse right that's what you're doing when you cover horse now I know that's a yeah it was cool only until the historic bucking and I basically I my pants what it's an ending word man I don't say that either you're Ricky every time I come on the show I I know I don't feel yeah I did did you have Bhangra music Hagar you went hungry not anymore yeah I love don't you know the bong I just got into recently I pronounced Bhangra not Bhangra Bhangra I got an accent okay was it punk rock Bhangra brah I know I'm guys know cuz I was listening to so you listen to the dub tronic uh is that the dude yeah yeah a little bit like IG bougie that kind of thing yeah I was into that and then I thought oh I'm going to go a little deeper and I wanted I was thinking of going acid house but no not acid house where else can we go and I ended up in Bhangra Andhra that's unbelievable great music I love it I love bong tangerine and you don't excuse a night bottle and then [Music] you never it's never steam night here a big Bollywood night which love a big Bhangra night will have dancing and people going crazy and I can we have a cow you can have a cow look like it but you can have it hanging out so we could rent one that you can i maybe get one of those elephants that go from wedding to a wedding it's not like that i rode a horse into my wedding but you can also write an elephant and i'm afraid of heights and so that wasn't my first choice but you but how do you get the elephant to the wedding it has to walk right to the wedding venue that's what you see is from the highway I am never being allowed back into my car come on it's just a joke man everybody why mine it's awful yes right I mean you're a comedian depends on the day yeah we anyway it's time for a commercial break okay [Applause] [Music] yeah but we're just pretending to talk to each other that's what we do in the commercial break like that's a good one anyway we wrote it done right used therapy but now I am yeah right I'll be the therapist cuz I've got the pipe okay alright so what do you dream about last night I had a dream that I was throwing a party for my wife and look what rewrite a party okay right you're welcome America and lots of hip-hop artists showed up any more hunger apart Obama artists just good that's good try and and then I realized during the party was running around getting every of the party and getting everyone around himself that I had forgotten to invite my wife so I woke up in a panic yes in a what in a in a panic yeah and then the fricatives on that yeah and and then she was then are they also just a dream was his dream and then I fell asleep and then we were back in the party and she the party thank you and she was at the at the party and she was not angry at me for not inviting her there's that mean that means you married the right woman oh that is my understanding caring women like like but for the life of me I couldn't remember what I had done to make sure that she wasn't mad at me because that would have obviously come in handy in the future well you know it's different things it's not just a woman is not a machine you can't just go and press a button actually yeah [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] my first guest a very very talented actor he's a very good friend of the show he is an astronaut he has his own fragrance which is called banana hammock but I he stars every week in the Big Bang Theory right here on CBS years [Applause] come on uh uh but you look good man you look good you been working out or something you did that with your arm no I was just I was doing this and I think I call my tricep ah well the triceps running to the back and yeah but um I shut up okay sorry about you huh I even know right with you and everything's great did you what though I'm going for a kitten play kitten plays I like it Wow yeah I can do that yeah but you're not kidding on lay like me no or for maybe aging vanilla ice happen whatever happened to you know vanilla ice I saw that he's doing a rock music now really yeah so I know about him doing uh he got tattoos and he's doing rock music well there you are Justin Bieber that's what's in front of you oh all right so what scar you get to sing the show in John you I am guess how did you die what are you gonna do Hahnemann he hasn't even done why I've gone mm mm 53 capilene to give you a round of applause have you done it yet yeah that's what my wife says anyway how's it look yeah are you gonna do jokes about your wife yeah no no no no no I do that I learned that early yeah I don't know I were I'm just gonna you know shut my mouth and listen which is you know it's hard for me so I don't know how we do wait like you're the monologue yeah no no no view um yeah I don't know I you know I don't know what I'm gonna do I'm not that well that's how I approach that yeah hey if you could if you don't know what you're going to do and walk out you're already ahead of the game so I'm gonna be fun down you'll be great in it because what you want to do is anyone that gives you any advice including me ignore it okay yeah so like seriously what are your what are your three gems that you could give me free gems about how to host the Late Show don't even when they want you to [Applause] and and don't let them lead you either do let them lead you would get around and you didn't order but let's know whenever they want something don't give them it keeps them guessing ha ha good I'm gonna I'm gonna do really well of this have you ever done any stand-up comedy no well maybe go out and do a little bit far saddlebag you sharpen you up for it I mean I stand up on the Big Bang Theory does yeah well you stand up and tell jokes is it called stand-up comedy not when I do it okay it's more of a performance-art how's that yes yeah um comedy the performance of course it is no offense I mean no offense yesterday ok sad no comedies no performance of what Rocky yes then I care boy how many times are you gonna see that word today what yeah you've got me ideas so what's going on then you're gonna like home provider go to India for Christmas well maybe I saw you near poor when I was gonna hump yeah yeah yeah but but when you unwell or something I was had the flu or something or doodle shingles ah and he was like oh like hey how are you thinking got shingles like yeah you can't catch shingles like that it's not a catchy thing I thought this cost shingled man but I don't have it anymore well you were going home to get married is where I wasn't yeah I was going home to get married you had shingles yeah and the guy went really I have nothing to say about this conversations going nowhere as usual you want to put in an awkward pause now then I have to say though you were my first talk show nine years ago freezing don't eat enough years ago as opposed to karaoke and now we both are on the downward spiral Andrea we are we're out yeah what about what about the experience on other talk shows how does it differ from this one that I mean professionalism obviously you know um this is the best talk show that I've ever been oh yeah absolutely I have also said that on this is you say that would all that straight way yeah thank you is massage I got nothing um no you know looks you see uh eater in Hollywood sometimes being a talk-show can be a rite of passage you know like well I got in measure the bth oh I'm so not getting emotional I just swallowed my own spit are you around on addressed as a drink right next oh yes right I'll take it ring too in case some of your spec go and me you already gave me tingles so the poor guy didn't get me single single didn't like that inside I think I don't think you can catch singles from people how did you get shingles you know it's a good question I think it happens when you when you're a kid in you have to do you have chickenpox in your kit yes then you probably get shingles look I'm not a doctor just like dr. Phil is assess but I know he's the real duck [Music] shall we uh take a commercial break um yeah do we make money do I make money in food is that how do they got you to guess who is that they told you that we take a break over right back with katana [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] I mean actually you come here to you know yeah Park every I'm here with Kunal Nayyar and we were just talking about his watch which is fantastic isn't it um sure take the truth about this wash okay it's a terribly sad story no okay then tell me so for the 100th episode of Big Bang Theory CBS gave me a very very generously gave me a very expensive watch what oh yeah no no no but that's not the story that's the story to me buddy fear that all those 2053 I got a sweater so I returned the watch because it was expensive and I got two watches where I see that's right do they know because they do now or they do now so this is one of them so thank you CBS for both my watches so why did you uncomfortable with a very expensive watch no no it's not that it just it didn't it the face of the watch was too big for my slender wrist like also a slender wrist yeah yeah Luxio splendidly oh that's pretty slender yeah no you know resident is an indication of a large if the word I'm looking for doctor yes allows doctor when you're a child pulled you out by your wrists that's so stupid it's funny yeah imagine if your baby and like literally like a July yeah or you just came out like that that that is how guys are born Acrobat that's how you know when a training occupy cannon and they like using oh yeah I've nd lines like that oh I don't we ever one of my things what is that and Carrie Fisher was here last week gave me some gifts there from from where they from somewhere in Asia there are little penis e things look in there what yeah I know why would she give you that you guys can't see it because we can't do close-up but it's like it's someone peeking at there good job there John yeah you can say Joe oh they're peeking at the junk yeah well she can give it to me because she's Carrie Fisher yeah he can't live by your rules uh no I wrote it really yeah you know she's a lovely of you make Harry yes she was actually on an episode of engineering where he had what she was with a bat she had a bat and she was chasing down oh my god I'm losing my mind James Earl Jones right I said it wrong yeah I know you said it right better right yeah I just had a listen sometimes you can scare you when the cameras rolling and you forget I'm gonna be a great you all right because I'll just make up stuff go cuz you like alright uh it's funny school nobody owns a little human it's fine everybody makes mistakes sometimes you forget things I some things forget how to spell lemon that like what he doesn't make any sense how do you listen to two syllable word wait wait wait I helped you out when you were worried okay and you came right by judgment on me yeah but you know you all like just only just own it yeah and then I and then I opened up and I was vulnerable and told you about my lamb okay oh okay I'm sorry but that okay tell me okay now you again oh no what what is it about the word left lemon that you can't like what is it do you think it's la y mo n so I just I you know it doesn't last long just occasion I got lemon and then I smell it I think if something happened to me when I was learning how to spell it okay good good time good day um let me think let me think if there's a word that I don't oh I always get PE IC or P ie sieepiess wrong oh well then and everyone tells me that dumb rule like before I and see before you and I learn what there's a rule it's like what's the rule I before E except after say he you know it yeah but it's no it doesn't really work but any that's my word it's like he you smelt it dealt it sometimes it's true the work the workplace to have a fit of gases on an aeroplane or in an elevator yeah but an aeroplane especially when you go into India is 20 they get in take 24 hours at one time and Indian food is particularly yeah yeah it is so all the way there's no ripe on the way back yeah I hear you yeah yeah well we're our time this is our citrus that's the end of the long run for us I know it's been a long one between already that well you know you know maybe maybe I'll do some kind of other show yeah I'd love to be I'd love to um would be great so you're saying nothing so that you're not actually committed to doing it yeah absolutely [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] what before we go everybody out I'd like to thank the gentlemen of the cost of the Big Bang Theory for being here thank you gentlemen and thank you very much the Big Bang PR we'd like that was a good night tequila wherever you are out there wave goodbye to Killian by Caleb [Music]

Channel: The Jayleno Fly

Views: 1,095,732

Rating: 4.6890969 out of 5

Keywords: クレイグと女の子の女性, クレイグ・ファーガソン, ロボットをゲオフ, craig ferguson, craig ferguson and the ladies, flirting masterclass, funny late night, best talkshow, funny talkshow, talkshow compilation, talkshow moments, flirt talkshow, geoff the robot, the jayleno fly, funny moments, kunal nayyar, kunal nayyar craig ferguson, kunal nayyar speaking indian, kunal nayyar interview, kunal nayyar funny, tbbt, the big bang theory, sheldon, raj koothrappali, raj, penny

Id: 9Dm1Sekkcdw

Length: 80min 38sec (4838 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 04 2017

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[u/exhindulady]

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