- THE RIGHT TRIANGLE'S
LONGEST SIDE IS CALLED THE HYPOTENUSE, AND IT'S THIS SIDE HERE. - HEY, I WISH I WERE HIGH
ON POTENUSE. - [giggles] "I WISH I WAS HIGH
ON POTENUSE." [laughter] - OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. OH, MR. MORRISON,
IT'S VERY FUNNY. IT'S VERY FUNNY, BUT LET'S
GET BACK TO THE LESSON. WE CAN SEE THE LONGEST ONE WHERE IT GOES
FROM THIS POINT-- - THAT WAS MY JOKE. - I KNOW, MAN.
THAT WAS HILARIOUS. - TRIANGLE.
I'VE LABELED THEM HERE "A," "B," AND "C."
- NO, BUT, I MEAN, I SAID THAT. I SAID IT. I SAID IT.
I SAID THAT. - PLEASE, PLEASE, MR. JACKSON,
KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF. THANK YOU. NOW THE HYPOTENUSE--
[laughter] MR. MORRISON,
YOU REALLY GOT ME ON THAT ONE. OH, SO GREAT. OH, OH, PRINCIPAL MARTEL,
PRINCIPAL MARTEL, COME HERE, COME HERE,
COME HERE. TELL PRINCIPAL MARTEL
WHAT YOU SAID, TROY. - OH, SHE WAS TALKING
ABOUT THE HYPOTENUSE, AND I SAID, "I WISH
I WAS HIGH ON POTENUSE." [laughter] I'M SORRY. [laughter continues]
HE LIKES IT. PRINCIPAL MARTEL'S COOL. - OH, THAT'S--
THAT'S VERY FUNNY. - PRINCIPAL MARTEL,
PRINCIPAL MARTEL, I SAID THAT. - MR. JACKSON,
THAT IS ENOUGH. - BUT I SAID IT FIRST.
- DUDE, COME ON. - MR. IGLESIAS,
MR. IGLESIAS, YES, COME IN,
COME IN. - [gasps]
- YEAH. YES.
WHAT'S UP, PEOPLES? - FLUFFY.
- COMEDIAN GABRIEL IGLESIAS IS TOURING
THE LOCAL SCHOOLS TODAY FOR A CHARITY
HE'S WORKING ON. TELL HIM WHAT YOU SAID.
TELL HIM WHAT YOU SAID. - UH, I WISH I WAS HIGH
ON POTENUSE. [laughter] - OH, MY GOD.
THAT IS CLEVER. THAT IS CLEVER.
VERY FUNNY. - NO. NO.
- VERY FUNNY. - RIGHT?
THANKS, THANKS. - MR. IGLESIAS,
MR. IGLESIAS, I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN. THAT WAS MY JOKE. - YOU KNOW,
IT'S NOT REALLY COOL, BUDDY, TO TAKE CREDIT
FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S JOKES. HEY, LISTEN,
FUNNY STUFF. I'M DOING THIS BIG TOUR
RIGHT NOW. YOU WANT TO SEE ABOUT MAYBE WE
COULD TALK ABOUT YOU OPENING? I NEED AN OPENER. - UM, SURE. - WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IS THAT OKAY? - OF COURSE. OF COURSE.
- YEAH. - [gasps]
WHAT? - SORRY ABOUT THAT.
- TALENT, MAN. - IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
THANKS SO MUCH. - THAT'S LIKE A RICHARD PRYOR.
GET OVER HERE, MAN. COME ON.
- RICHARD PRYOR. - HE DESERVED IT. ALL RIGHT, SO ACROSS
FROM THE LONGEST SIDE IS A 90-DEGREE ANGLE. - GOOD THING I'VE GOT
A 90-DEGREE DANGLE. - JOEL, STOP IT!
YOU WILL NEVER BE TROY! - WHY ARE YOU TRYING
TO BE LIKE TROY? DICK. -<i> ET TU,</i> NERDY GIRL? - [snickers] - SO THE HYPOTENU--
[laughter] - WHAT THE [bleep]
IS GOING ON? - I'M GONNA PISS MY PANTS. I'M GONNA PISS MY PANTS
RIGHT HERE. OH, MY GOD!
OH! - GOOD EVENING,
MY FELLOW AMERICANS. EVERY DAY OUR CITIZENS IMPROVE
THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND THEM. TODAY WE HONOR TROY MORRISON. NOW TROY WAS IN GEOMETRY CLASS WHEN HIS TEACHER MENTIONED
THE HYPOTENUSE OF A TRIANGLE. TROY SAID, "I WISH I WAS HIGH
ON POTENUSE." THAT REALLY CRACKED ME UP, AND IT CRACKED UP
THE REST OF AMERICA TOO, SO TODAY I'M PLEASED
TO PRESENT TROY WITH THE CONGRESSIONAL
COMEDY MEDAL OF HONOR. TROY, ON BEHALF
OF THE ENTIRE COUNTRY, I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR FANTASTIC,
OFF-THE-CUFF LINE. YOU ARE A TRUE COMEDY HERO. - THANK YOU, SIR.
THANK YOU. AND ALSO, MR. PRESIDENT,
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU. - WHAT'S THAT?
OH! HE GOT ME ONE. YES.
THESE ARE SOLD OUT. I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET
MY HANDS ON ONE OF THESE. THANKS, TROY.
OH, MY GOD. "HIGH ON POT-ENUSE."
