Joey Diaz on the Best He's Got and Evolution of Coke

George from 84 to 87 so I got caught a little family people I clip ran out fathers which in my world was at I'm [ __ ] everything I hear there was times I feel that this guy's has got to go around and I seen I see this [ __ ] bones game and I can [ __ ] Jimmy his door they go George it was pathetic and then it got to the point where when I was in it and Snowman village once people knew I meant business everybody hoping their doors to me Ohio and cold bro your mouth goes your mouth starts to go because you got to prove your point this cocaine I get from this guy called El Guapo he drops it off via helicopter you know and then we have to go up there with sneeze you know then they look at and taste it and test that 93 percent and you got to start talking your [ __ ] all in all though I get this on the Jew from Israel via Colombia where they reprocess it it's 92 percent taste how clean this is and next thing you know your mouth is going bro what's the best [ __ ] you've got dawg like from who was it in Cuba wasn't in Miami with it in Jersey where did you get the best [ __ ] or you have to go with the time periods in the time zone and the evolution of cocaine and how it went from being one thing to what is correct okay when I was still snorted in 2007 it was very speedy cuz I got cut bad huh I know you know now they put [ __ ] right in Colombia Mexico it was speedy it was also not cut with the ether okay when I was going and when I first started doing coke you do - first off I didn't get my own coke or the first year George I don't every display its iconic yet strong you kiss back then I get this [ __ ] out and realized I had a drink with it oh I got you now drink with it my tongue I got you I got [ __ ] up his [ __ ] it was the best combo oh my god I'd do two lines and have a pickle over - I'd be [ __ ] up my jaw would go and I'd be all happy and talk to people and it was a party and I love you and when my mum this check comes in them and have a million dollars let's do another bump let's get another Priya time waiting for a big man talking [ __ ] choice in those days I was not thinking about entertainment I thought that somebody's gonna walk in someplace you know you're a funny guy but input usually I never do better dishes or no audition that's crazy now now Joey like you know what's weird dog is I knew you grew up did did you ever do coke like like I heard cocaine got [ __ ] up when it became crack like did you do cook before they even made crack or well yeah let me tell you what happens yeah this is the bottom line about what happened I was I was exposed to cocaine as a young age so I look at it and stuff not really I'm not a lot of detail of that the first time when was the cocaine was October of 79 I was - that was the first time and I'll elaborate on that some other time I took a little bit of it maybe two and a half grams Wow I took it up to my room at that time I had a process at that time I had snow the THC crystal and you know what killed me a muscle and THC principle that I violated my number-one rule I wouldn't ever put another thing up I knows okay that was like not a result of all private personal rule so I did not want to put some on my littles so what I did is he'd see I said okay I'll stop at that I got a lung infection it took me to hospital I said they were gonna scrape why won't they put me and they scraped my wound I thought it was the ket crystal was gonna be in the results I was [ __ ] fifteen years old ah three days I sweated that house a little bit sticker that was gonna come up positive for THC crystal and they say my [ __ ] wounds oh my god they never said nothing I never said helicopter you know big dog palpable done to you I did type of test I don't know nothing I don't know nothing so no George my Japan I looked at it for a couple days I had in my drawer hidden and one day I was gonna play hooky myself boy I took it with me I'm gonna sell it to Ashley ended up with the dude I do is cool as [ __ ] and I knew if we did it he was never say that so we all kind of school would back to his house our friend came over but they were in the basement me and him upstairs like some peppermint schnapps and vodka with crown ice we took a bunch of crushed ice and crushed it into little pebbles Lisa head and then we fill the glasses up which is that and then we sprinkled cocaine on top if we drank like two of those we throw really big shot with us this is way before Scarface guys this is 1979 and my man lube his kitchen all right at 11:30 and the more like a week before Halloween or in his kitchen there's maybe six two downstairs with a case of courts the quartz quartz dirt each one's be the big all I got your here's the problem we just robbed the beer truck we were going to eat breakfast and we saw a beer truck delivery and we pulled over look come on let's take a beer we took him for a case but it was courts so what did we do we had a couple of options with your bring it to like a store to trade it out and pay a few bucks and the guy makes an extra five bucks when you sell the thing or we take it back to your house we fill your tub up would be nice that's exactly who we took it back to the kids house put scoops of [ __ ] ice on it from the store waited ten minutes we bought another [ __ ] five case of beer and everybody downstairs was smoking pot outside and drinking nobody knew me and my dog go upstairs about to do a blast and we just kept looking at each other what do you think so we do let's try a mistrial let's shirt this Peter let's do it we had already drank two drinks with the cocaine sprinkled on yeah that had your blood getting your brain with all my hair was growing what if we did those first two words I wasn't hooked it wasn't tired Black Sabbath snowblind that little made sense to me at all go into a deep dark area now I knew this [ __ ] [ __ ] but that was it that was basically the first that it took me like maybe two weeks to do it again maybe three weeks yeah when you're young it's hard to find like as an adult I wanna pick listen I always tell people this is how older every show would happen California weed how one day you go somewhere to buy weed down you could pull over as long as you have your license and your ID and you can pull over those I'm living oh [ __ ] there's a wee toe right there hold on give me five minutes hon you know what they you sign the paperwork they ask you to stoop request they budget to give you an envelope with papers wider [ __ ] Road clip and you get a free edible that's hard [ __ ] and they give you a gram of certain weight yeah that [ __ ] yeah so Stalin we're yet the [ __ ] like that cousins not getting through the tires a little my point

Channel: Joey Diaz Clips

Views: 529,342

Keywords: highlight, Joey Diaz, The Church, Joey Diaz highlight, hilarious story, hilarious, comic, funny story, comedy, Joey Diaz Stand Up, George Perez, Lee Syatt

Id: l2hUOaoCzSc

Length: 8min 52sec (532 seconds)

Published: Tue May 16 2017