How Coke Makes You A Bad Person | Joey Diaz

you know so we and I'm about two weeks away from not doing coke for 12 years no way really two weeks away wow you're counting that hi please you good Lord man get free of it when I was the old me you know I think they told a story on re and red bands podcast right about me slamming the computer I'm red bands finger and I called Brian yeah bad I know how all of you know this part that was my third month to sobriety or when I was January of 2008 and we were at Cobbs comedy club and you know I got clean like November 10th there's something like that of 2007 what's his blow just blow right just blow how cool you know I wasn't I wasn't really a drinker right my thing was that cocaine by myself how would you come down just just smoke weed I'd smoke weed I'd uh maybe a pill okay whatever you had you know but the pills would take me somewhere else it's funny I watched over my last night okay and he says a line in the beginning of that there at the diner and he gets upset he goes to his car and he goes you know I've been here all this time and nothing has happened in my life and he goes whatever I'm selling all these buy right and the way he said it and the way he meant it as a comic you get to that point right yeah well you like whatever I'm selling they don't want to buy whether it's a script right my act you know I'm just [ __ ] death you know and right he becomes you know for me that was uh what made me quit like that was like I either have to [ __ ] do this or they're not buying what I'm selling no more right like yeah I'm luck that and picked up some movies a show like that but I'm not gonna pick him on anymore cuz the words gonna get out right words gonna get that this is a big oh man already had problems I said longer sure and I had problems in the cellar saw the movie I quit this job over you know and I could lie to everybody and say that yeah I had another job like doing Mountain Dew but I can't sold that [ __ ] movie that time the people came to my house and I pushed the producer well cocaine-induced Wow you know that was all cocaine-induced you know man your son coke til six you gonna come banging on my door at 9:00 oh no I'll stab you in the wall and then when I tell you to go away you keep banging on my door I got a banging headache I feel bad enough thing deal was already called me twice because I didn't put the $50 in the saddle and took the coat right yeah no I need you knocking up my daughter God or a [ __ ] movie down the corner about the dumbest thing I've ever heard about my life and I think the words gonna get out yeah I wouldn't you know words gonna get out and I didn't want it to get out and if it did get out I wanted to correct it with those people you know like after I got clean I wouldn't let it had him like a year later rang he put me in a movie you know I can write a demand letter and mix around him one of those movies it's cool man I just apology blather or without me you know but I'm at that whole incident in carbs happened because I was still running a little shaky nine or dazing [ __ ] right right ninety days this thing could turn and I know now from talking to other people who have done what we've gone through that it could change any day so I have to check myself every day right i I've had around I know people have had in that pocket yeah I know it's at certain places that I frequent but it doesn't affect me I can't think of going back to that life oh yeah it's uh I can't think of all I think I would die of a heart attack yeah man right off the bat my goodness age with what I've done and how hard I've done to repair everything the garlic pills the cardio right I think that like this podcast would not still be intact if I was doing well they love in hell away it'll go a lot quicker what no no no nobody would show this poor kid would still be at two years ago sitting here waiting for him who shows no [ __ ] mom when you're on coke it's a 50/50 it is a 50/50 chance you gonna fill up you're not gonna do anything you do any plans with me it's 50/50 yeah and like so I know you now or at least I feel like I know you pretty well and like you're you're punctual you get mad like you know what other people you're very on your calendar what do you what do you feel bad about it and the time leader is like I can't leave the house right now I'm too [ __ ] up or it's just yeah changes it to the point where you think you could you can probably get in jitsu your way out of it now get out of the situation you can probably blame it on traffic but I I said stupid stupid skew severe made my arm fell off and I really believed it so you made my arm full of but you know get sick all the time itself you know I just remember you know there's a time where I could not sleep stop doing coke at 4:00 and get in the car at 6:15 and go on a plane ride feel a little creepy at the airport but this time went on the addiction turned into something different and they got to the point but if I was high till 4:00 I wouldn't even leave the house at 6:00 like I would call the comedy club and Sam I'm getting on the plane I'm headed to the airport but I wasn't even leaving the [ __ ] house I did it to about four or five comedy clubs I think I did it to Joe one time you know I mean and you see how I am about comedy no no no I can't see that it wasn't me it was whatever I was doing that was I mean the last year I canceled a gig so let's say you were supposed to leave Friday Thursday night or Thursday turn on the day like okay I'm not gonna get higher tonight I'm not gonna get high and then at the last second like [ __ ] [ __ ] let me go get a package I'll be fine all depends how good the show is you know you rock you want two three up no no but I'm talking about even getting out that Oh get down there I wouldn't even make it to the plane like I would Li and I'll have the owner of the club waiting for me at the airport Kwami going where I am my plane got delayed we got the bunked Oklahoma and now the check NATO and they're still gonna go we'll come in tonight we'll replace you tonight coming for tomorrow and I would still make up a story like it was that bad and I think of my life now you know you made it if you made plans with me to see me at 1:00 in the afternoon it was all 50/50 even more even on the day yeah I didn't do it in the daytime but when you wake up at 8:00 and you have that depression from the night before or you go to bed at 8:00 in the morning I go to bed late you know I would I would the last year I would stay up and folk Terri would wake up to go to work and in the last half hour she would dad was just faking that was sleep with my eyes closed meanwhile my heart's pounding in the [ __ ] bed and she's getting ready around me as soon as she believed I was like I was like a breath of [ __ ] relief yeah I can open my eyes and jerk off one more time try to fall back to sleep I don't I don't I don't read those things I don't dread [ __ ] over people because that's the only part but towards the end you're [ __ ] yourself over but more or less you're [ __ ] people oh man I mean and it just this isn't just myself you know I heard he'll tell you I think he'll time how hard he'll tell you the last year the last day of crashing he just didn't show you know rest in peace I love them with all my heart I mean it's well documented and this is where our [ __ ] world falls apart and again the Feeny would disappear for three days come back and pay for the production I know a friend he did it to his movie and he gave mother thousand for the day of production and I know for a fact he did a movie in New Orleans and he went out and supposedly somebody slipped them illness at the strip club they couldn't get a hold him he had to pay for the whole day of production unless Sean Penn movie 250,000 you know that's your nature to disappear I would disappear for three days leave where you couldn't and there was no cell phones no in the 80s you just call the house right disappear is there a way to describe it to someone like I'm trying to like listen to me I the only I can't even I can't even wrap my head around it who wasn't attractive let's just say Kate Quigley okay quickly okay Friday you go out you get your paycheck for 800 for two weeks and you wanna spend 500 on coke a bag because Joey's supposed to buy split it with you but I got [ __ ] up the night before I spent the money from that coke so now you're stuck with the whole 7 grams and you go to the commies don't hold you bump at the cake quickly she's kind of dress on you could tell she's got a thong on you got two lines in you so Kate Quigley's looking completely different than what she looks like to you now great Kate was not your friend yeah when you look at her on cocaine she was like a victim like she's just an ass she's just uh what uh what the cheetahs go after gazelle prey yeah yeah that's what she is she's just prey so now let's pretend you went to Pablo hmm you should Pablo give me that seven grams on the arm I'm gonna sell to Jody is I'm gonna make it properly so now even though you got in your pocket and you're gonna make a profit on Jody is and you still owe pablo 500 you don't look at Kate I'm just using kids right Apple cuz everybody knows that she's a pretty girl I could use a thousand other girls but she coming with whatever you know they got a thong on they bent over these all they do coke you give them a package you make them go to they do two bumps they come back they take the coke is great and then they come back give you two more now it's 3:00 in the morning out where we're gonna go I live in Studio City I got another seven grams up there okay quickly or whoever it is gonna come up there with you yep now the first gram that you do you're okay because you're in profit okay alright he just losing a little profit you still got Pablo's money tomorrow but next thing then are you talking to taking the top off and you want to do two bumps off at its she's smart pretty soon what [ __ ] Joey's Pablo now we'll move without the [ __ ] Pablo's money even though you and Pablo best friend you grew up a powerful that addiction makes you tell Pablo go [ __ ] himself even though in real life even never tell pop I was your best friend and Jo is your best friend but you're just selling your soul right now for Kate a [ __ ] and that cocaine now you know how long that lasted all that Coke Friday from three in the morning to Saturday night at 6:30 yeah so you guys pretty basically staying all afternoon maybe go for a walk to get beer right and go right back to do that coat every 20 minutes and you call [ __ ] [ __ ] suck whatever you got no now Sunday morning Kate you wake up at 2:00 in the afternoon Cades gone you look at your phone you got six missed messages from Pablo Joey hasn't called Joey called last night because he got money a night before mm-hmm so it's you give up so much for this addiction like you so put a lot of effort into nothing it's a lot of effort into nothing and [ __ ] your friends now you gotta go face Pablo and make up a lot of Pablo that the cops pulled over and took it [ __ ] took intersession you've got no money and you'll pay him $50 a week for 18 weeks well you talked to me or took old stories about times when like you know at when you didn't even want the girls to come over so it's just new by herself it was out there was a point where I did because the addiction keeps growing that's what understand Pablo's cleaning him but inside of him that addiction has grown oh yeah I think that's why so many whoa I'm lying to you like when people go back to heroin they shoot the amount they were shooting before they went to rehab and they get a heart attack they OD because it was there almost the tolerance one moment by your desire for kuzco he was growing so when you're an addict does as they describe an addict you know I hear a lot of words when people describe I can't describe adequately describe the Z's in my world I was an addict okay I would wake up at 8:00 in the morning first thing I thought about was coke and the second thing was calming hmm and how was I gonna get the money for the coke to do the comic King Kong King comedy and that's that's an attic that's an addict and guess what I have the rent money but the rest not due to the fifth so even though it's the 29th when I got the rent money I'm good till Monday [ __ ] all bets are off and guess what it's Halloween Thursday I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna stay clean following but I'm buying an eight ball ten quaaludes just to start the party off and that's how you think [Music] you

Channel: Joey Diaz Clips

Views: 1,555,876

Keywords: MMA, joe rogan experience, Boxing, Interview, UFC, the church of what's happening now, Lee Syatt, Felipe Esparza, Ron White, podcast, Theo Von, Bill Burr, Comedy, Ultimate Fighting Championship, Joey Diaz Stand Up, NFL, Jon Jones, Mixed Martial Arts, Joe Rogan, doug stanhope, Tom Segura, Nate Diaz, Conor Mcgregor, Eddie Bravo, Brendan Schaub, Joey Diaz, Dana White, stand up, Ari Shaffir, Bobby Lee, bert kreischer, Jim Norton, Funny

Id: RPhkgDXrXl8

Length: 14min 57sec (897 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 02 2019