Joe Rogan Wants SCHULZ For President?!

if a comic ran for president like zielinski yeah in ukraine sure but of a comic ran for president in america like i think schultz could pull it off i think schultz could be president someday america land of the beautiful and nancy pelosi i have an announcement i am running for president i am tackling all the issues climate change needs a new mascot no one wants to hear an autistic ikea high school grad yapping about recycling she can pick up litter but not a social cue come on when i'm president i will replace greta thundberg with the girls from euphoria so the sea levels won't be the only thing rising six inches russia ukraine don't send machine guns send machine gun kelly ukraine needs a man that spends some time in a foxhole the economy americans have lost 10 of their wealth to inflation my solution hire cheaper labor no not illegal immigrants women i'm about to progress abortion mandatory and can only be done by a licensed nra member they know how to get one out of the chamber wow my citizenship there will never be a question where i was born the usa baby even if my nose looks like it was designed to exhale hookah critical race theory let chris rock teach it and there's two sides it's black people there's wrong joke whoever did that is fired illegal immigration how do we fix it what t-shirt contests in the rio grande yeah now we'll call them wet fronts you're gonna have to you're gonna have to show more than a green car to cross this border because in america we only accept the best of the breasts so my fellow americans i am here to serve you with integrity honesty and the fake news that satisfies your emotions i'm andrew schultz the liar you can trust thank you very much thank you for all being here i appreciate all of you thank you for getting dressed up are you down for it i i mean i think we need the first real indian vice president you are going to be my vice obviously and that is a great point yeah kamal is not indian enough you know what uh oh uh oh i started a little a little group that i think i think could really get things moving if you'd like to wear one i have one andrew schultz march yes you know hindus for schultz hindus for schultz for a greater america for a greater america because look you could say america great again it didn't happen it's not great enough you can finish the job for a greater america i love that for greater america hesi for prezi has he for prezi i love it i uh alex alex you obviously are my head of security miles you just keep doing the pond just forever we don't need you doing anything else even if we're not recording i want you there three times a week just press and play and organizing cameras dove has the most important job be jewish yeah also that secretary of treasury is what you would think but pollution is a big issue so he'll just take his nose up in the air and suck up all the smiles that's brilliant this is brilliant you really thought this afternoon you're a great vice president i've been saying this for years you for president i love it sure it took joe rogan saying it one time all of a sudden we're doing it but whatever dog influences his influence baby i don't know what to tell you i'm doing this for the people i'm not doing this for me hey the people deserve it they absolutely they need it this is this is it right here you really are gonna be my vp oh obviously dude how would i not oh this is great i don't what scares me is i feel like you think you actually could be president i am gonna be president we did this as a joke like oh yeah we'll be funny yeah stop being a joke about 30 minutes ago yeah it's actually concerning blazer on i was like [ __ ] all these losers it's not going to be that hard i think i could i don't want to be president but i want to get to the debates oh dude you would smoke the debate debates will be fine at that point you'll kill it and then you have to run but i won't accept it i will only accept dictator oh that'd be good actually so if they want me to be president the negotiation becomes it is forever as long as i'm alive position life position is president you're going full putin second you're going putin you know we gotta get rid of these nazis you know what i'm doing okay that's a good point i like that i like that do you think we got a chance you think we can do it no definitely not definitely not what is definitely not who's running like who do i have to beat out who else is going to run first again trump's running against you got to try to beat him yeah he's he could be trump i could be trump 100 no i don't think so but trump is funny but andrew's whole life is humor yeah he's funny for a non-comic or whatever closet gay he's going to have run for fight vice president i'll smoke that guy that's nothing our gamers their game it'll be perfect yeah i'm a much sassier game you also wouldn't want to be present because you if you win you have to move to dc no i don't know you trying to prove you don't have to do that but he lived in dc for a little like yeah sometimes no he was taking vacations there yeah he lived in mar-a-lago but he lived in florida i'm trying to get back to florida yeah yeah i would i would definitely move where i was i would airbnb the white house though that'd be fine absolutely absolutely that's how we that's how we balance the budget yeah yeah jersey shore house is like 4 000 a night oh jersey shore in the white house bring it back oh 100 i'm saying you get 250 000 a night for the white house no problem definitely easy easy definitely yeah i like this i don't think you've actually thought it out well i think rogan said it was a good idea and now you think it's a good idea and you haven't done it what other and i don't think on anything okay yeah that's true i just do it yeah that's good and then it ends up working out but what if they ask you they're gonna be like oh schultz what's your position on foreign policy what do we do well it depends what foreign policy gas prices what do we do about that gas prices are going up yep a lot of people is affecting a lot of people can i take this one sure gas prices are going up lower them that's all i said i think that's brilliant actually guys this is so easy i can't believe you think this is hard give me another one he's killing it okay uh what about like uh trans equality in america you don't think he support trans he watches euphoria he supports gays he got the same like pants as gerard carmichael that's a good ass point actually what else what else what else what else uh hot button topics big issues i have to be ready i have to be prepared for this or like refugees like would you take refugees and stuff like that if they can get here yeah yeah if they find a way if they can i mean if if they get turned away or you know in a boat in like the black sea and then end up over here that's that's impressive yeah that's a good point yeah i'm watching pirates and [ __ ] that's how i started this whole [ __ ] i think i think you should be able to arrive to america by boat uh i like that you can only come here by boat by boat yeah i love it yeah okay yeah like who's gonna stop you like if you just pull up to these river like i don't think anybody's gonna say you can't be here yeah yeah i think that's good no they will say that though they do say you can't be here if you just pull who's to say it's a puerto rican guy fishing [Laughter] there's no one that's going to stop you from like entering the country come by boat people aren't coming by boat no they are they who cubans they don't have boats what do they have a boot if they had a boat they could actually make it into this country effectively i'm supportive of this i really solved every problem al is there anything in your community oh yeah they've been complaining about the racism stuff yeah yeah did you forget you're a black person for the government [Laughter] yes black lives matter how do you feel about black i think they matter okay you think they matter okay i think they matter i don't think we should be able to touch black people at all and i'm only going to hire black secret service why because they hold the most secrets yeah they don't snitch they don't snitch at all yeah so wherever we [ __ ] go nobody's gonna know okay okay what else employment's going up that's good i like that yes another hop-up topic uh you call the hot bucket topic yeah how do you feel about chickens how do i feel about chicken we are going to make all the things that endanger black people illegal fried chicken okay sugar please that's not a big issue we're going to start with fried foods and sugar and see where we go okay because black lives matter to me you just lost the black vote how you just lost you took away everything how can i lose the vote if i don't let them vote oh that's also a good place so whoever votes for me oh okay oh dictator dictator again i'm not trying to be president over here we gotta change some [ __ ] up we gotta be able to compete with the chinese another one go oh what about universal healthcare that's a that's good i don't believe in it why i've told you this before because americans shouldn't have to pay the health care for the whole universe that's a good point that's a good point that's a good point okay that's ridiculous you can't cover that's why it's so [ __ ] expensive maybe we just started with america it would be affordable okay so what about american healthcare obviously i'll provide that how how you get a baby go to the hospital they fixed you they never said no they were paying the docks don't pay him no that's a good point no i actually think it's through the end watch i've thought this through think it keep going what happened these are your these are your docs what are they going to do mainly your people well it's about time my parents stopped being proud of doctors and not me dumb asses also a good point fagil idiot [Laughter] this is all solved really when you think about it now what happens with your medical bills when you die nothing they get passed on to i think that's student loans only i think you're confusing different loans what do you mean they get passed on to the american public it's a free rider problem like we all have to absorb like and not only it gets wiped out of your credit now so don't even affect your credit and not pay your medical bills we got free health care we just it just canadians don't pay for it on the front end we don't got to pay for on the back end it's the same yeah what [ __ ] you the same who's to actually pay your medical bills dude yeah don't be a sucker bro go to the hospital take their [ __ ] [ __ ] and then leaf and then when they call just don't answer them yeah yeah you act like you ain't got coloring you gotta ghost them bro this is what you gotta do i can't believe that like you could ignore a girl who's calling you but you can't ignore the hospital dude [ __ ] the hospital goes to the hospital 2024. what the hell are they going to do they're going to come to your door some nerd and smocks what do they call it what's up everybody as you know i'm running for president and the best way to win the minds and hearts of the people is to give them money you're about to get the hesi for prezi stimulus do you see these qr codes right here yeah you scan that qr code and you're the first one to do it you're gonna get paid we're gonna have multiple throughout the episode happy hunting my friends you're welcome schultz 2024 the liar you can trust uh let's get into it outside of me being president in the near future um big things okay will smith jada anything else that we saw from that that was funny tony rock tony rocco [ __ ] i love it dude did you like it i thought it was corny why it didn't fight me [ __ ] like just be funny no in real life though well actually [ __ ] people at a show on the lab factory not like not the actual fight but somebody was upset by some crowd work he was doing yeah and he was like i'll see you later and then tony rocco's you ain't gonna do [ __ ] right there and then he goes you know why are you gonna do [ __ ] because this whole top row was with me and then just pointed all his top face homies in the top row yeah and i was like oh he keeps that same energy yeah that guy always talks [ __ ] he don't care and the funniest part i got nothing to lose that's why which i thought was really only like the fame gap yeah that's funny i don't know i just like i don't know just be funny about there's so much room for jokes like i don't even know if you gotta threaten these [ __ ] it's different because that's family yeah you know so obviously maybe it's different i would react that way but um i really want to see what rock got to say about it well apparently he got a standing ovation the next time he went on stage yeah but he didn't say nothing somebody said [ __ ] chris rock or [ __ ] will smith and then he silenced them he was like no we don't need that yeah they started a [ __ ] will smith chant during the show oh there you go people hate will right now i mean it is crazy like there's nobody i feel like initially like day one is people on willside you still see a few huh you still see a few but yeah it definitely has gone women and guys that cheat on their girl yeah yeah yeah yeah those are the only people who support me i get to disrespect my wife you got to protect all these dudes you got to protect your woman you [ __ ] other women yeah 100 percent guarantee you're overcompensating because you're you're the jada in your relationship any guy that's faithful loves the fact that his wife got uh pissed off in public why because you can't do it do you know what i mean like i i l dude i like this happened uh this weekend i was in the [ __ ] bahamas and uh how was it uh it was it was actually really nice but we're in the bahamas and like um i like realize how my like relationship is evolving a little bit like my i was at a casino and i'm playing blackjack and i see my wife try to cross through the blackjack pit okay you know nobody was there so she tries to walk behind the table basically to walk through right and she tries to cut through and then the the the casino like the pit boss walks over and he's like he's like miss you can't cross through now she got about halfway through okay and i'm looking at my wife and she doesn't immediately turn around and i'm like i know exactly what this business i know exactly she's she's gonna say i'm already halfway through why not just go all the other half yeah yeah right you would never do such a thing no that's why we're married i 100 would do the same thing i'd be like it's the same way why are you gonna make me walk out but the pit guy his job is to keep people out of the [ __ ] pit right so i see my wife go but i'm already half it's the same distance just to go the other half want to just go the other half and the guy goes i don't care get out of the pit and i literally went you tell her tell her what to do because you don't have to worry about [ __ ] she's already gonna not [ __ ] you dude i mean she can't give you the cold shoulder she can't do none of that [ __ ] so i was rooting for that [ __ ] anybody who could tell my wife what to do without repercussions yeah you're on their team i gave him twenty five dollars i flicked a quarter of him yeah my wife are you really on his side yeah yeah i need a higher security for my white phil i need a higher security to discipline my wife because i can't discipline my wife that's what i need that's you bro yeah no no no no it's not i like being here i don't know why we even talk about oh yeah so like yeah i guess will just can't admit that yeah right and now he's taking off all his projects they're like halted bad boys they like apparently was they like changed madagascar [ __ ] because jada was in the movie or something what was she what was yeah come on i need black women to support me dude yeah that's fine they can all support you except jada that's true also isn't jada half white no half uh pool cue was that what i meant it was pool cue right that's what i meant to say yeah wait is the queue the ball yeah okay good oh i thought it might be the stick no the queue is the stick with the cue ball oh what y'all knew what the [ __ ] i heard y'all laughed at the right thing even though i didn't get the word right okay no she's half black half witch oh my god sorceress damn bro sorceress this guy's serious dude yeah do you believe in sorcery and uh in uh hinduism i do now after seeing jada but is it part of the religion no 100 not no okay but there's no like like devil demons no no no you just get reincarnated you just keep going really there's no hell so what's the [ __ ] with the little snake coming out there little thing dude oh yeah the magic power bruh it's just power that's power that's sorcery power now but you got that in you you know what i mean you just don't do it because you're a little [ __ ] yeah yeah we also don't have snakes yeah yeah yeah we also live in the first world yeah it was crazy to see what happened with the whole whale [ __ ] man i i wonder what he's going through now he has another netflix project that they put on policy oh they really just pause everything he's done you know i'm not done but he's like they're like yo you can't do anything right now jesus dude if you thought you if you thought people [ __ ] your wife now imagine when you can't even provide for her oh my god dawg yeah when you're a d-less actor that's what's gonna be happening i don't know if we talked about this but like if he just came out and he just said did we discuss this on this podcast like if he just came out and he was like listen it's really hard for me that people [ __ ] my mind oh yeah we talked about this right okay because i think that's all he has to do to get out of this just admit that that's what you really struggled with you tried your hardest to get around it you can't [ __ ] get around it it's hard how could you possibly yeah you know what i'm saying yeah you know what's funny is the only way he gets his back really is if he divorces her so again if he divorced her we'd all be like oh this guy's out of there god bless him give him his movies back oh yeah 100 divorce her and blame her for everything yeah yeah even though you're a loser and you're not you know being personally accountable just [ __ ] blame her dude just [ __ ] we want will back dude he drops another independence day and it's like you know double meaning [Music] a new album i love it he's gotta drop like what's what's like uh the lemonade for guys i don't know if we have one but like you know beyonce dropped lemonade remember when she was gonna leave jay-z well the name of the movie that's in post-production that netflix would like to release it's anton fuca directing it's called emancipation no that's hilarious emancipation what is it about your name about like a famous uh uh slave that have you seen that picture the one with all the scars on his back bro you know what's crazy is that this is where will's career is now we'll never even play black guys wow yeah isn't that interesting he just played leading man and now he's playing a slave bro yeah son [ __ ] son he's playing django too and it's not even jango too how [ __ ] sad is that yeah nobody cares anymore yo that's [ __ ] up dude al can you weigh in on this so we don't feel racist yeah i'm actually going to pressure on you antoine training day legendary director i'm on board i feel bad for will though sega i just feel bad for will because he's one of my heroes and it's just like damn yeah yeah see this decline it's like it sucks yeah but it's been really good for us oh yeah i mean yeah like we went for crazy vibes yeah dumb viral bro 2.2 million on youtube you got 2.3 million on your roast alone on reddit yeah last i checked that was like four days ago 10 million on tick tock [ __ ] crazy philadelphia yeah yeah phil defranco shout us out love that guy you beautiful bastard that's how he starts every video what's up you beautiful bastards honestly shouts to jada dude yeah thank you for the career boost you [ __ ] your husband's career but it's about time you [ __ ] something of his yeah right say it finally you know yeah what if she said anything at all or no uh she had a post on id it said something like um this is the ceiling season for healing and i'm all for it and you know what's [ __ ] about that yeah in the red table talk where they talk about august alcina yeah she said something to the effect of it just felt so good to heal someone so if healing to you is [ __ ] other dudes you know if i'm chris rock i'm gonna be like yeah that's heal let's get it yeah chris got to come back with a banger he really gotta come back but doesn't think he can't work out his [ __ ] like i know you said like oh i wish he talked about it like he's in a theater you're not going to like work out material yeah because they're going to videotape it it's going to be uncomfortable you got to take phones yeah yeah yeah probably do it but you got to take phones yeah like why would you do it on something you can't sell you know i mean like like you work your [ __ ] out in private like try to lock up people's phones and [ __ ] and then sell it in your special that drops in eight months yeah and then everyone's like that just raises the price of it yeah everybody can't wait to see it i mean i want to go see it yeah yeah but if he's coming out saying i'm not going to address this just yet then i don't give a [ __ ] yeah not yet no that's tough that's how i can make money on it and i don't want to work it out in front of 3000 people yeah and the way that he creates bits like he actually puts sitting there pen to paper like really thinking about it yeah it's not it's not just he's not just winging it and that's something you got to be you know delicate about also he's probably sitting there and thinking like wondering how the world is going to react because that knee-jerk day one reaction isn't what it's like two weeks later so if you're writing the joke for the knee-jerk day one and then two weeks later the public sentiment has completely shifted yeah yeah you know what i mean like now that most of like the influential people outside like the actor losers have come out and said that chris uh will smith is an idiot yeah he just looks more heroic the more time goes by yeah or not chris i wouldn't say so now the meanier jokes are almost the more of an [ __ ] you look like no you could be justified well i was gonna say you might go too far and people were like yo we already like you dog you don't gotta go this hard ah it could flip it's like a fine line they'll let you rock to a degree but then if it gets too vicious like if there's too many shots about uh jade getting [ __ ] by agusta cena yeah and you know hopefully for everybody else to say tupac in her life yeah then you can't people can be like uh we liked you why are you doing this yeah yeah somebody told me that like she made jaden write a letter to tupac or something no no willow they don't know if it's real or not but willow wrote a letter to tupac when she was 11 saying like i know you're still alive please come back mommy misses you i know you were her best friend or something like that there's no way bro yeah i don't i don't know but where'd you see that it's a thing that it's on all the news sites but they don't know if it's a real even on the news sites on all the news sites yeah all the news cnn coverage yeah yeah do you think cnn wouldn't cover it [ __ ] dorks they got two npr's got a story right now yeah there's no way yeah i can't believe it one like putting that up publicly and secondly just believing that tupac's alive yeah of course he believes there's there is something interesting though did you see the video of like will smith talking in that round table where he's like you know i was cheated on early in my uh you know relationship early in my life and he was i vowed after that i would never be cheated on again yeah that's a lot yeah poor guy also how do you control that though yeah i don't know how you're like i'm never cheated he controlled it yeah it's not cheating if your wife's allowed to get [ __ ] by everybody in the neighborhood do you know what i mean like can you imagine how terrifying it is when jaden brings a friend over that's the craziest thing just is this the next guy who's gonna [ __ ] your wife oh my god dude i mean like you're making pancakes and her just head is slamming against the wall right you're like jayden where's your friend oh he's finishing up with mom that's crazy dude yeah it's crazy yeah it's crazy that would make you crazy yeah i feel crazy thinking about that like those are jayden's got to be like yeah yeah i am my friends [ __ ] my mom and your friends are like the coolest like everyone jayden's friend with is either like an r b singer a rapper a musician like dude justin bieber's up in the crib you don't think he pounded out she hit it a couple times okay i hope so for both they're saying so jada's batting above average like she'll be getting dudes dude yeah sorcery that is it that's how you know she's a witch because she's like a seven jedi i see i saw old pictures of her and i was like oh [ __ ] she's still beautiful but i was telling mark i was like yo i just [ __ ] i forgot how beautiful she was the picture of her kissing tupac man oh man you give her a seven yeah she's definitely above seven you think yeah strong eight but she out of your [ __ ] 19 year old r b stars granted they just had a drug addiction but like you know but they all feel impressive that's a good point yeah they're musicians it's like they're all addicted to drugs this is you okay bala yeah what does that happen to you are they fine dude oh you got to go on the massage chairs that we were in this weekend yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so i posted this thing on my story of dove in a massage chair at an airport and his titties were shaking i just had to share it and 200 000 people watched the story and uh the funniest thing he was like take that down take that down and i'm like whatever like you got tits like it's not a big deal he goes no it looks like i have dandruff and i was like that's what you're worried about not your fat [ __ ] tits all over my abs absolutely really little crumbs yeah but it wasn't that bad you're sitting down over here shut the [ __ ] up okay he wouldn't even tell me who we went on a date with last night oh that's funny why not dove who would you participate nothing you got nothing this is this is the time to talk about it come on do you know how many times that this has not worked out well for me speaking has this ever happened has it ever happened just speaking no why what happened less what happened on the date no sex great day did you have sex he's relaxed today yeah it's true he's relaxed and confident i think you had sex it's a great day has it ever been an issue a girl heard something you said on the pot and like prevented you from like hooking up that's not true there's no way let me just say this the pods never gotten me a girl a pod never got you the girl not what about live shows dove's just walking around the streets just picking up girls and that's why we go to the show like everything will get perfectly set up for the show everything's fine and then we're like oh where's dove and then someone be like oh yeah he's just wandering the lobby right now looking busy yeah just looking for it's absolutely amazing just recruiting he was just wandering the streets of montreal for two days he got there two days early wandering the streets handing out [ __ ] tickets i bet he wears those same shoes hoping somebody will recognize him from the camera he um walks around with the open laptop this is him backwards walking around infamous tour radio city music call i cannot wait both shows sold out there might be a couple single seats left you go get them after that we're coming to atlantic city new jersey and then the final shows of the infamous tour are gonna be in vancouver okay two shows amazing theater go check them out the andrews.com is crazy the infamous show is coming to an end there are literally five more total shows of the infamous tour the last time you'll be able to see it so go check out one of them uh we love you appreciate you and we'll see you out there tampa i'm gonna be at the improv this weekend friday and saturday bring that ass through also toronto hurry the [ __ ] up the saturday late show is sold out there are less than 100 tickets left total i promise they will sell out this week you guys better cop them tickets quickly and bridgeport connecticut i'm coming to the stress factory it might be fairfield it might be bridgeport state is so small it don't [ __ ] matter i'm coming to connecticut stress factory that those tickets and shows for all tickets for all my other shows are on akash akashing.com now let's get back to the show all right guys we'll take a break for a second because nerds need to stay awake okay some of you looking a little drowsy eyed over there because you haven't hit up that gamer subs that gamer subs is gonna keep you up all night long whether you're studying for a test or playing fortnite gamer subs has got your back matter of fact if you order some gamer subs you're going to get these waifus you're going to get these waifus that flip online for 300 500 they got super hot anime chicks on them front and back if you want to beat off and fill one up yourself you can do that you can do anything you want with your waifu because it's yours gamer sups has got your back by far the best powder that you can create an energy drink with on the planet right now it's actually got health benefits i know it sounds crazy that i'm saying this but it actually does go to get your gamer subs right now g-a-m-e-r-s-u-p-p-s dot com make sure you use the promo code flagrant to receive 10 off your order they got great flavors blue razz acai blueberry black cherry and the new pineapple cocktail flavor this is a no-brainer get it in now let's get back to this but no you had a couple girls come through yeah nice love getting these are the joints they got to every weekend he goes he texts me he goes are there any people that you need uh tickets for or access to the green room after the show almost every week and i say no there are 60 people in the [ __ ] green room they they are all his cousins his whole family's in bread and i don't mean that in a bad way but they look so similar it's absolutely shocking it is shocking my family's in bread and i don't mean that in the background what the [ __ ] is moroccan jewish owners friends that were coming down and okay okay and then bala had some people up too [Music] he always started under the bus by the way and bala only brought jews that's the crazy thing about your own people anyway point is is we had a nice weekend i heard you got into a little uh long car drive or something like that what is this we had to go to ohio i saw the story he got the airline he drove 11 hours or some [ __ ] like you're trying to care [Laughter] how do you guys get to toledo hey look i got it i gotta write hodor like hodor you really got to yo this is actually funny and i forgot to tell the story before we don't jinx it no we're doing a show in san antonio i don't know how i forgot this and uh i'm talking to this kid up front and he's sitting next to a guy in full scrubs yeah i'm like what do you do are you a doctor and he's like no i'm a nurse and i start kind of clowning them yeah and the kid next to him is just completely straight facing me the whole time like this and then i'll ask him questions and just go and i'm just like this guy's a real [ __ ] yeah and then i start teasing him and he never smiles once so i start kind of making the whole joke like oh this guy sucks oh this guy's going to kill me after the show blah blah blah you know when you have somebody that you [ __ ] with for the entire duration of the show and then i'm legit a little scared because he looks so [ __ ] unhappy yeah and then at the end of the show i'm doing the meet and greet i'm saying hi to everybody see he's last in line he's been waiting for me and i'm like oh [ __ ] this is a problem it's a big [ __ ] and then he walks up to me like what's up man how are you okay and then he pulls out two hearing aids and i'm like oh i was making fun of a deaf person for 60 minutes straight did he respond at all no i was like yo all you should really take from this is the [ __ ] hearing aids don't work yeah when you asked him questions did he say anything about he would just go and i was like why you keep [ __ ] shrugging at me bruh and he doesn't didn't he he gave me a couple of smiles i would see in the corner of my eye when i'm looking this way he would smile and if i looked at him he'd straight face again well yeah i'd be nervous too this guy's gonna talk to me i don't know what the [ __ ] he's saying yeah yeah 400 people you're just here now right knowing he here says how he talks you [ __ ] that's what you guys are thinking that's probably how do you laugh now it makes sense why he was doing that by the time i was like you won't even let me smile you [ __ ] yeah 60 straight minutes i fried this kid and that felt so bad after as i see him reaching his ear and pull out two hearing aids i was like are you [ __ ] kidding me he was in the very front though yes dude dead ass i'm here he's where andrew is he's that close let me sit him next to the speaker like beethoven let him listen to the vibration i couldn't [ __ ] believe it dawg that's the worst i've ever felt making fun of what's his name he's probably watching this with subtitles on right now joke i think it was a good job you maybe don't hear it properly yeah okay son of a [ __ ] um a pakistani that can't hear yeah whoa abusive pakistani family which i thought was redundant wait he said that yes he said his family was abused he told duchar he didn't tell me well how do you say it to you i'm sure he wasn't just speaking urdu dude [Laughter] he really said i come from an abusive he told dushar that he didn't tell me that that's the first thing he said and he was he was a nurse so that's probably why they beat the [ __ ] at him because he wasn't a doctor he was a nurse as well you can't be a deaf nurse he had a shirt that's a covered warrior which i was like you don't need to be wearing that this late yeah i mean it's 20 22 that's over yeah and also he can't hear the claps but still a deaf nurse i i mean there's certain jobs like i want you know everybody to do whatever but like al you were a nurse yeah you can be a deaf nurse you need hearing you think he takes a stethoscope and puts it over their mouths nah that's crazy i don't think that guy was a nurse bro i don't know i think he just wore that [ __ ] his friend next to him was in full scrubs he was not and that was another reason i was clowning him he was in shorts and a t-shirt when people wear scrubs not at their job yeah that's that's what i said not on the way home but like you just like you're wearing it in the middle of the night trying to get [ __ ] that's what i told them right yeah it feels like you're trying you know you'll see you'll see him out with the hat on too with like the full scrubs hat and the whole deal like really yeah like not like they're going out to get a coffee like during a lunch break yeah but like they're just like i'm gonna wear this the whole day yeah and you want us to be impressed right save someone yeah right how many people die to covet some hundreds of thousands allegedly maybe none who knows though good ass point maybe not it's good it could be none you never know yeah but yeah i think a million right now is what it is in america i think it's a million people that have died of cove yo that's bad people you know yeah it's like a million yeah it's quite a bit yeah jesus platinum bro yeah yeah that's crazy get the plaque going get him a record a million is hella bro yeah that's that's a lot god damn yeah and people are still denying it yeah why why me i'm somebody you know no i i don't know anyone that's denied it if i have no people tonight they say it's more oh they believe it's more they believe more i've died yeah um did you guys catch wrestlemania at all no but i heard about it my brother texted me to tell me how good logan paul was he's really good he i'm not even a wrestling fan i was just watching i was like yeah this kid's really [ __ ] good i mean yeah these kids are just stars yeah yeah pat mcafee i saw highlights of mcafee that [ __ ] was incredible dude yeah he got a stone cold stunner and he was like drinking water and then he got kicked out the stunner and then instead of falling he stood up spit up all the water and then like fainted like he just got it he really sold it knew exactly everything we ought to get mcafee on the podcast hell yeah dude yes if they asked you to do wrestlemania would you do it though yeah sure if you really yeah i was president trump did it i would do it as president for sure yeah get in front of all those people i don't know you got to be like vince mcmahon standing or something like that like you can't wrestle yo you know what you do you can rock bottom the rock how fire you have to be a good actor so yeah to be a wrestler you have to be a good actor to be a wrestler i'm not going to act i'm going to do it for real mark okay yeah you're gonna really write the other thing i was gonna say i feel like you take it personally i am like someone would try to do a move on you and accidentally like hit your head a little and you're just like what the [ __ ] are you doing yeah i feel like you'd fight him yeah i think it yeah that would be fun wouldn't that be fun just start a fight while we're wrestling i think that'd be great and then they'd fight you back and they're huge people yeah but that'd be great for the news this is how you shake it up yeah that would be great i just knocked somebody out some huge guy you don't think that'd be funny i mean i don't think you're gonna knock him out it will be funny someone's getting knocked down you know how big wrestlers are like they know how to actually how to they know how to fight for real i don't think they know how to fight for real someone in a fake fight no some of them know how to fight yeah yeah mcafee was [ __ ] it up dawg and he a little guy john cena's 6-1 like 240. i think i could be john cena in a fight i do think i could what about the big dude that was in uh ufc uh brock lesnar yeah brock lesnar could beat me up he's an actual fighter i think he could beat me up he's massive that guy what's up you just got to go just you know give him a quick block when he goes to tackle you good yeah that didn't work before i know we're great when someone was coming after me it worked it worked really well he did bypass you because you were so intimidating that's why you were like you want nothing for me matter of fact he thought you were [ __ ] the dude looked at me he's like i don't want it and then he came right after you yo that might be what it is he did call me [ __ ] before he came after no he did you're about to [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah yeah dude i don't know if he could be your secret service anymore dog say again i don't know if he could be your secret service anymore i think he's gotten better i'm straight also he didn't have the tim's on bro like he didn't have you your balance was all off i was like i was trying to be a hero with it and [ __ ] like that yeah you were looking crazy if you had the fitted hat i think you could have you know there was you know headbutted them or something like that like it would have been good i was wearing like three-quarter pants like you and [ __ ] like that i just wasn't i wasn't flying enough [ __ ] you out [ __ ] you also i don't know why my pants ride up so high yeah watch chairs do it because so someone is baggy when i walk no so they actually reach an ankle they do when i stand up something happens you don't have long legs every time you stand up you gotta readjust pull it down that's because i'm fat now okay that's cause i've been eating a lot duff fat gig yeah all right well poutine at five in the morning in montreal this is you no i it was three o'clock and i was gonna be hungover the next day unless we ate are we still hungover though yeah can we talk about how overrated poutine is yeah well trash montreal amazing city but poutine trash it's three great things which are fries cheese gravy sometimes when you mix things together it doesn't work out mark he's right here what's wrong with he's right he's sitting i didn't mean it like that dude we believe in your bisexuality i think i'm going to protect you now no two teams fire okay um 100 fire also why did you try to miss the shows in montreal i didn't try to miss the shows bro i did everything i possibly can so why did you show up five minutes before the show i i did that because i was flying from the bahamas where my wife was getting disciplined the way that she meeting okay also why did you go bahamas directly to montreal why didn't you land it at 5 50. we have a weekend off this weekend we do right well i went to a wedding i didn't go on vacation oh yeah i didn't realize there's a wedding yeah can i can i tell you one thing though i mean i was scared there would have been a lot of unhappy people money lost and the only thing i could think about when we were like he's not going to make it he's stuck on this delayed flight is it won't be my fault why why why when your wife decided this oh we always it's a whole tour we have a backup to a backup to a backup and this guy is trapped on a plane yeah but we made it it was all good that [ __ ] was fun i love that city yo shout out to montreal montreal is one of the great cities yeah yeah here's the trailer for poutine the breakfast there is probably the best dude let me tell you something about montreal this is 100 dead ass the the difference in attractiveness between the women and men is so [ __ ] unbelievable i'm not trying to say the guys are ugly but the girls are so hot compared to the dudes did you find that yes you found that yes i mean my parents are that way second my parents are that way you think that your mom is way hotter your mom is a joint piece bro why weren't you talking about them bangs last episode what was that on patreon yeah i mean her personality is beautiful everybody missed out bro we were talking about them things on patreon everybody and then everybody and then on reddit they put up a [ __ ] poll of what pictures of all of our mothers hasn't they got a picture of my mom yeah yeah was it a good teddy bear yeah no hey is it a good titty picture no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no it'll be a very serious question i'm not [ __ ] around right now who won no they banned the poll the person that posted they got banned forever who was it they got banned forever who was winning that's true now i've seen all your moms yo my mom got y'all by a mile for real you're not gonna sleep on my back my mom's got the biggest city i'm telling you my mom is out here my mom is out here and i'm not saying your mom don't have big tits she does thank you thank you with all due respect she doesn't be respectful of my [ __ ] my mom's just is crazy bro crazy bro i don't know crazy dude don't know i need to see these pictures can we get it up nobody's screen shot we need to screen shot it there's a picture of all our moms no i didn't are we encouraging this yeah i'm not encouraging this because it's funny bro yes it is how does the red again i've never seen mom mark's mom i never i only i haven't met your mom either or miles mom i need to see this picture no there's no picture how's the red again to see y'all's moms kiss before me where the hell did they find a picture of the moms but the women in montreal are much more true it was crazy dude it was crazy they're good-looking women up there not that i care about those things yeah anymore yeah but i was in that club yeah and i'm old dude i don't even know what to talk to these girls about anymore dude like like i'll just be sitting down minding my business in the club and like one of these girls will come up and like start a conversation i don't even know what the [ __ ] i literally don't know how to talk i'll just be like oh that's funny yeah yeah yeah yeah and they're like oh your show was it they try to make and i'm like i i go like this like i try to try to do things that they think are like entertaining relatable but i literally do not know how to relate in any way yeah i also realized that like i don't know how to have conversations with women that aren't about um having sex with them [Music] so so i don't think i developed that skill and now that i'm married i don't have where do i go i'm just talking about you because it feels fake yeah why would you need to you don't need to have conversations with women that are not about heaven that's a good point that's a good thing to talk to the way you talk to a guy you meet a guy to close like yo i don't talk to i don't talk to guys in the club like that a guy comes up to you after the show goes ho dudes great thank you so much i appreciate you dawg love yeah let's get a pick blah blah yeah great but i'm not like tell me about your dreams yeah i don't know i i think i honestly think it is more honest to to i think it's having like a fake conversation like i'm not trying to sleep with any of these girls but like when i was out there in the world i would i felt more honest like flirting uh sexually than i did just having like some [ __ ] conversation that i didn't actually believe i thought it was dishonest i agree you're a liar i agree isn't it better to flirt and like you know sexually be respectful obviously but like you know let the intentions be known yeah but what if you don't want to have sex say again what if you don't want to have then why would you talk to them okay oh okay [Laughter] it's a lie you're lying right no i'm not lying what do you mean yeah i feel like you just meet someone who's like oh yeah mark you're very good at like making it seem like you're not flirting like you just you talk about things it's just adorable it's so great what type of makeup do you wear like or whatever these stupid questions are like yeah where are your eyelashes from like you know how to do this great at this too like they can have conversation but dove's actually a little bit more sexual harassing than you know you know you see my titties online now you're calling me sexual harassment come on you that's true come on that's where he drove the line you could do one of the other but not both no you're our charm but you will you will say things that i'm all chill can i just say you will say things yeah let me send it it's just you will say things that you you don't think come out of a man that wears cardigans yeah that's true do you know what i mean you're like expecting mr russell say some [ __ ] like you know one kiss no sex one drink no sex you will say something like that i expect that out of the car i said something like that to me and that's the other thing you convince yourself that they're flirting with you like operates in a world where every girl that he meets wants to [ __ ] and they're just giving you signs but it's true and i snapped with that girl this guy's fast girl we're flying back i think she's into me she's the [ __ ] uh flight attendant she has to give you things she has to get oh yeah she keeps giving me these [ __ ] napkins oh pretzels nonstop many times andrew gets disrespected by flight attendants they don't give him [ __ ] so that's actually true so maybe not maybe this one was really nice to me it was really sweet but that's the thing both y'all say again why don't you just be nice and flight attendants then it'll be nice i always start nice i always start nice start i say hello hello that's it no but this was a good flight because they were going to canada oh that's true why why why what's that the flight attendants they're probably canadian so they're nicer yeah they were sweet they were very nice i got along great with the flight attendants what i'm trying to say is you operate in this world and it's a great way to operate i think most people should operate like that yes i don't know i don't know so about this date though yeah what happened with the girl yeah nothing say again nothing can you at least tell me what she looks like and what race she is and what religion yeah all the things no she's a jewish jewish i'm not saying that she's not just she's jewish if he doesn't want to ruin it this is something that's real yeah no no i don't believe during ramadan during wow i don't believe it sorry about it i don't believe it why not because i just don't believe he'll ever be with a jewish one did that he he throw shots right yeah yeah that was a stinger yeah i thought i'm like you flirting i lit as you should i'm like this [ __ ] creeper yeah wingman mark wants friends yeah i'm the oldsman wingman that's what it is no no okay so what is your like uh what do you do you're like sitting down it's like honestly i don't know i don't know what do you do i say you're sitting down there's a girl right that's sitting down next to you oh what do you do for work and then she says oh i work as a bartender i go oh is that is that a fun job and then she tells me a funny story and i laugh oh my god how do you i mean that seems pretty reasonable he's laughing at something a woman says he's trying to [ __ ] yo you're misleading them yeah yeah you're in this video you're gaslighting you're gaslighting that's gaslighting you're not a gas light yeah you made her feel like you went to [ __ ] and then you didn't you know you're a [ __ ] rapist bro dude dude that is [ __ ] raping away i don't know how yet but we're so funny though because i was trying to wing man yeah and i was like well isn't it you're trying to [ __ ] me yeah i need a week wingman is the nearest candle that he uses this guy is [ __ ] doing potions and [ __ ] he's great ball is like carrot top at the nightclub it's amazing he's got a case that he brings he's just throwing [ __ ] out whatever any girl that catches those dude amazing amazing amazing but now the girl said she wouldn't [ __ ] i was like why not she's like i don't want to [ __ ] squanto no it's like wait why and yeah she just kept on pointing out the feather in his ear the whole time she agreed that you were squandered the girl had done she called you pocahontas boy i was the biggest [ __ ] on our joke no she didn't call it the [ __ ] yo she said i was sitting next to me and somehow he like disappeared and apparated into the inside seat in a booth full of women like i don't know how the [ __ ] it happened but i turned around you were behind me inside the booth and the girls are saying stuff and you were just you just laughed it was amazing dude i love to see one of my homies fake laugh like you know what it's just it's not like you're trying to get laid is your social lubricator right yeah you got it keeps things moving yeah there's nothing wrong with that absolutely not but i don't want to seem phony but doing it with a girl that's [ __ ] up that's gas lighting yeah you are gas lighting because the girl is getting [ __ ] wet yeah dude looking at you oh this guy thinks i'm funny cute guy yeah so interested in my life he's so adorable yeah genuine interest no one has genuine interest in a woman i'm talking about my wife to say i'm married don't you use all your fake interest on conversations with your wife like a good man i'm exhausted you know how dope is that to drop the wife thing though yeah it's fine yeah it's great yeah yeah i said it back up [ __ ] yeah let them know yeah i love your outfit yeah my wife would love that what's going on all right guys we'll take a break for a second because uh we need to save you some money it's very simple you're going to be buying things on the internet when you're buying things with the internet there's always going to be a little uh space on that webpage for a coupon code something that you can apply to get a discount now you're buying something you're like damn it i wish i had a code maybe there's a code that exists i don't have it so i'm gonna have to pay full price well those days are over thanks to honey honey is a browser extension that you can use that literally scours the entire internet for you finds the coupon code for whatever website you're at inserts it and then you get your discount it's that simple why would you not use honey why on earth would you not use honey you can save money on anything clothes tech gadgets pizza i use it on shoes foot locker foot action wherever you are there you go save all the money that you can okay what do money save you on absolutely everything okay you will save matter of fact tell us how much you're saving it's that simple just [ __ ] tell us okay if you don't already have honey you could be straight up missing out on free savings it's literally free honey is free and then you save money so you actually make money using honey and it installs in just a few seconds and by getting it you'll be doing yourself a solid and support this podcast so get honey for free at joinhoney.com flagrant that's join honey dot com slash flagrant now let's get back to the show all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because uh y'all need to step your wallet game up and extra's got your back it's very simple okay they're the best wallet in the business and i can give you a few reasons let's start at one you can't lose it how about that how annoying is losing your [ __ ] wallet what if you can't because it's got the tracking device on it that's right it's got the tracking device on so if you lose it it tells you exactly where your [ __ ] is someone steals your your wallet show up to their house i'm not saying that you should do anything but you take it from there okay now what if the battery goes out for the tracking device charges using solar think about that they've got it all figured out exeter's best wallet on the planet also nowadays people just walk by boop steal all your information not with extra not with extra they figured that out they know how to do it there's some technology what's it called rfid protection that's what you got rfid you can't just boop you steal all your information exeter has got your back and you know what flagrant's got your back too because if you check out the wallets at extra.com that's e-k-s-t-e-r-dot-com you'll be able to get up to 20 off site-wide with the cloak with the code flagrant that's 20 off to have the best wallet on the planet make sure you don't lose it and nobody boops your information you're welcome now let's get back to the show also are you proud of the boys usa for making it to the world cup we made it yeah we made it what's our group you have mckeven up nope we got iran wait wait wait speaking of world cup whose mom has the fattest taste oh my god that's a great [ __ ] question dude no that is a great question dude are we bringing everybody into this miles we haven't talked about your mom's darkness oh my goodness [Laughter] how do you feel about usa making into the world did we cut out miles's mom's section i don't know anything i promise cause that was a big issue i'm that's never been an issue is it true that you don't have brothers because you've sucked all the milk out of your mom's kids is that true i also did hear that i also that was a rumor that was going on reddit you don't got big tits yeah iran usa that's that's our group we got one more england iran usa yeah and then what's the third what's the fourth one so we're waiting it's gonna be like ukraine scotland versus wales so one of those teams so we definitely scotland got that probably not and then ukraine is still competing yeah they're not really taking this whole war thing seriously what stops during war soccer doesn't stop that's crazy yeah that's crazy those are your athletes get out there bro defend something right clinch go out there fighting thank you you can't fight uh lomachenko's fighting well machenko fighting yeah they're retired boxers no lobochenko is the current uh champion oh that's a good point yeah this is [ __ ] dude the president can't be calling it a genocide and then you go play in the world cup that's facts also the president called into the grammys didn't he did he yep yeah yeah and he talked about the power of music as uh being you know something about peace now talk about the fact that play some foreign the grammys and not the oscars was that a little that was a shot at whom let's say again at whom hollywood to say we don't need you music is actually a little bit more global yes music is a language no that's actually true music does uh what's the word i'm looking for transcend transcend thank you god that's [ __ ] so smart what you laughing out over there dude what what you laughing at over there dude music is the language of what dove just nothing we actually need your mom's double d's on this one let's get dangerous no because we need the american flag because mark your mom is canadian right yeah no so [Laughter] mom one tip represents the black community one the puerto rican community yeah yeah my mom india threw him through morocco morocco on my side scotland scott great britain what why just stop in mine valla as well well we can't talk about vala's mom no you're not you are on the path you're sitting right here right now i don't know if you love your mom if you don't defend her real talk if you're in the room your mom's tits could get talked about that's flavor too all of you all are liable well over here yeah who got the fattest [Laughter] who your mom i met your mom bro come boys i'm joking okay did i meet her i don't think i met her you might as you got the wedding oh i didn't actually meet her we drove to the [ __ ] uh on friday together oh my god oh if i look at her tits dude jesus you're crazy that that might mean they're not that big yo i didn't say it andrew's mom's tits look at me my mom's tits look at her feet i saw my mom's tit hit something once and she just picked it up and moved it out the way oh my god okay so yeah so america we got this what two two teams leave yeah the top two teams move on okay iran we got that that's yeah so it's basically england and the us go right yeah or scotland scotland could be in that's true they'll probably also lose that's true and then uh we got a group of death canada made it in that's what people are stoked about canada versus morocco yeah yeah dubs people oh that's gonna be fun who's stoked about canada bro bro and all the canadians were with this weekend yeah yeah dove got mad canadian family dude no words yes yes great you want to know the best thing about this weekend with mark in canada what's that we go to russ did you tell you could say this what about your french oh yeah now all of a sudden mark just speaks french out of nowhere right but the best thing is he would to practice we'd be at a restaurant he'd order in french and then they would just repeat back to him like is that all anything else which was just like a slap oh in english trying my hardest using google translate and ladies like anything else do you want yeah our last uh waitress is actually also a french teacher and she drops off a card at the end and they're going to start doing zoom sessions yeah oh really yeah doug's french is great i've heard dev dove speakers everything every language that there's women does speak the language yeah yeah that's 100 effect right you speak italian yeah yeah spanish french i don't i can understand a lot of spanish or i can do like flirty spanish but andrew is a spanish guy yeah you know no do have you ever been with a pakistani woman no i did have set it up man have you nope have you ever been with a pakistani are you sure oh yeah yeah yeah you left popcorn for virginia when you were 11. now but we met we met one at 11. whoa whoa well done 13. how old was the girl dude you [ __ ] a 13 year old bro just saying that is wild you've technically had sex with a 13 year old she was older how old yeah so did you get guy with any april fools [ __ ] yeah i did you got botted yeah i uh this is gonna sound like a flex but it's not but uh my girl goes uh there's a there's a um a hotel or like a resort in aspen and they said they just announced that they're gonna have a wave pool coming this summer so you can surf in aspen at this hotel that's sick and i looked at the post and i saw the people that are gonna go surf there and kelly slater was one of the people who's gonna go surf there so i dm'd it to kelly slater and i'm like i'm like dude are they really building a [ __ ] wave pool at this hotel and kelly slater had to let me know that i got april fools like a [ __ ] idiot wait he he hit yeah yeah he's like dude i think you got an april fools and i was like okay yeah they didn't build a weight pull on the side of a [ __ ] mountain your actual hero was like yeah you're an idiot yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you wasted a dm on an april fools too anything out of it huge nothing nothing at all but besides looking like an idiot you're saying with your girl to set you up though yeah dumbass you know not shifty got me on the on the was like the northern lights in new york did you see those no like going dumb viral it was like yeah i heard about this i believed it luckily i went to new york they're looking like a [ __ ] car it's like you'll be able to see the northern lights this year for the first time or this week for the first time like 50 years the shift was like isn't that crazy and i believed it up until like i think an hour ago no yeah i was like literally oh i did get got by ben oyeda i'm on what you didn't see better yeah you got by that one yeah when he was like his new like uh he's dressed like a wildling yeah and he was like this is my new construction wear or whatever yeah and i believed it and i was like dude ben what is this because it was kind of fire but i was like i didn't i didn't think i got got by april fools turned out i got by all of it i just thought you know i saw the world that changed a speed limit a walking speed limit in new york and after i post that i was like oh i hope this is true and then i realized it was fake so then i started finding all the fake posts and posts son i'm gonna say this i drove through that [ __ ] and i was like i would have voted for trump too wait really yo it's just hopeless dog it's 11 hours of hopelessness no that's all you're looking at is nothing toledo ohio the brewery was out of bus it was like a [ __ ] abandoned warehouse so you can't even afford alcoholism yeah that [ __ ] blew my [ __ ] mind the trailer park like the trailers are run down i was like this [ __ ] is hopeless dude how was the sunday show we didn't have the sunday lucky no i thought about this and i felt guilt i usually i've been selling out a decent amount and i was like yo 80 of the room is only full there's no 100 percent and then i was like oh there's probably like 50 unemployment so actually mathematically i'm ahead it was 130 sell out yeah you killed oh yeah i really killed it 100 percent they didn't even bother with the sunday show i think i'm like pay for no [ __ ] no you're lucky yeah i i mean that was the worst i've ever done in my entire life they told me did you ask them about it no no they told me at the end of the night they were like hey we love andrew tell him to come back he doesn't seem to want to wait dad she said that yeah i had a hard to tell her poor manager she didn't i didn't see her all weekend because she was making [ __ ] chicken tenders or whatever because they don't have labor in ohio and uh she was like at the end of the night she's like hey thanks we had a bunch of new people come out great i said oh andrew probably brought a lot of these same people and she's like oh we love andrew he just hasn't come back since the last time you see yeah that was a rough one man oh that show there's only two shows that i really remember i'm like wow never get and they're both in ohio well toledo and toledo then columbus i did a show in columbus where i was getting absolutely nothing from the audience so i just brought the stool to the middle of the stage and i just stood on the stool and delivered my jokes standing on the stool why why i don't know i was like i gotta make this fun for me somehow you thought height was the issue for yeah it was height i was like maybe if i get this high excuse me i've been using what i would actually do yeah no i was like this has just got to be fun maybe if i balance i'll have more fun in it and yeah it was both ohio ohio could be rough man oh yeah yeah i saw that yeah they don't have much to laugh at out there yeah they're still proud of mesh one of the characters in mash i didn't even know this kodo told me kev told me yeah he said one of the characters in mash was from toledo in the show and he like always talked about it so they're holding on to this show from the [ __ ] 70s like my hotel had a army jeep in it why the [ __ ] did you drive there i don't understand this fight got canceled night before because nobody wants to go to ohio obviously yeah united was like we're not doing that delta there was one delta flight was at like 6 a.m out of philly so either go to the airport at 3 30 in the morning and then land whenever we land or and risk that getting canceled or just drive overnight and cafe is a [ __ ] boss so he was just like i'll drive he brought his car up to new york we ran at a minivan geez up fire oh that's far so i love a minivan dog i can't wait to buy it i know you love this minivan on some comedy [ __ ] what'd you think of a louis winning comedy album of the year is he officially uncanceled i think i think that that's like a move towards that for sure yeah yeah i thought it was really interesting because like once you win this major award from like a major governing body yeah it's basically them being like oh yeah you're backing the thing yeah like i forgot when that happened to mel gibson someone like i think he won a major award or someone like testifying his behalf in front of the academy they were like forgive him he's sorry it's not his fault yeah and then he kind of got like uncanceled from it i think it also could be them testing the waters like if there's a big reaction to this tons of pushback they whoever they is like the hollywood uh you know approval board they might go okay maybe it's not ready but if he goes he drops it and everybody's kind of okay with it and they celebrate it they're like okay maybe we can work with this guy again he could mel gibson's like he i guess he's uncanceled in that sense maybe but he's still nobody he's not the same it's not the same also his star compared to what it was is way less mel uncans with himself i think when he did that uh passion of the christ because he did the movie without anybody like didn't he fund that independently and the ship made crazy bread right crazy so it was like i think that there are people looking at it going well people have said worse things that have made less money well no he that was before the jew hate that was the first time we were like does this guy hate jews no no no no no he made yes correct akash is correct no i thought he blew up first he blew up no no he had the thing the cop thing was no the wife thing that was funny to me the wife thing was like oh no 2010 or something after all the other [ __ ] and everybody's like i can't believe he's saying these things about black people and i was like who who do you think hates jews and loves black people who's that guy i don't think that exists uh yeah they're very obvious black people [Laughter] but yeah he he had apocalypto that apparently slept but he made it but nobody really cares it's not like he's a mega star anymore louis i think gonna be the same he out there he could win a grammy but when his grammy equals sales like the guy who won best album is probably great but i know he was john bautista i'm also all this [ __ ] don't know new music but i feel washed bro it's wild it's either we're washed or everything is such in its own vacuum that you're just not aware of what's going on in like traditional mainstream scenes because i've heard of john bautis i don't know a lot of the song from the ship maybe if i hear the big one i'll listen to it even with the the people who won the oscars some of these movies i didn't even i even heard of so is is it that that industry is failing or those industries are failing or are we completely detached i think the fact that we're detached lets you know that it's failing a little bit ah like you should be able to hold on to us a little longer before everybody would just know there's just less things yeah and the fact that we're all kind of in our own vacuum is part of the reason they're failing yeah it's i don't think it's completely failing i'm sure they're making money still but like the fact that none of us knew how much longer do movies exist i'm curious about this eight years do you think they'll be around what do you mean like a long time that form it's just a tv movie but it's just movies the theatrical experience will suffer so they'll watch these indie movies like koda at your house and you're going to watch marvel you know but just call that a 90-minute tv show well well here's the thing like the movie itself i don't know if it's advantageous to make a movie instead of a tv show because if the movie is successful right i guess you can make sequels to the movie sure but like the tv show run it right have two season threes and four season five seasons true detective is a bunch of movies each season is a long movie yeah so why not just make the tv shows and if we really like it we want to spend more time in it i wonder if movies just become antiquated the way we tell stories is just through tv shows it's either super short or super long you're spending 200 million dollars to make a movie you don't think you can spend that on a tv show think about most features that you see are written by one person loan in their place and then boom has this perfect you know two-hour thing that exists and it puts their name on it yeah and a tv show i mean you can write a pilot and then blow up but that's a whole team that's that's a business that you have to do to continue a show so a lot of people just like that form what if it just becomes like pixar disney are the only and like cartoons are the only times you see like movies anymore and then everything else just tv shows maybe there's like one consolidated story that you just want to tell like yeah what about like story things like how does koda become a series i don't know what coda is it won the oscar yeah i don't know what it is but i don't know who's in it it's uh do you guys know what that is no i've never seen it children of deaf adults it's a beautiful story apparently it's [ __ ] it's about it's a parallel that came to my show in san antonio apparently it's fire and i think i can almost why there's a bunch of [ __ ] adults but also for like the indie world like small art house films like you can't make small art house whole multi-season series so you'll always have an opportunity making a movie eight years i hear all of that how much longer for movie theaters four years i love the movie theater but i don't know if they can make their money back yeah unless you're a major franchise unless it's marvel and even those movies ain't slapping like they used to i just don't know if it's it's worth my prediction they're gonna have to let the studios open up movie theaters so disney buys movie theaters and there's a disney store to buy pixar stuff marvel stuff in there as well and those things can work because it's separated right so yeah you create the disney world experience so when the kids go they can buy a t-shirt they can buy their dolls they can buy the toys correct okay then what happens for the adult movies where we don't need to buy that and how many of those disney theaters can you make no all all good points they're gonna be in like shopping centers where it's a whole thing for adults they're gonna get bars and the type of seating to like order at the table because think about dates what are you going to do on a you know first date you go for drinks or dinner and second date you want to go to a movie it's at your house you got to have that other spot hey it's good for me sorry no more movie theaters yeah coming to the pad i've always thought the movie was uh yeah oh my gosh where did you guys go last night on the day the bath house did you really yeah after you took a girl to the bath house it's the most fire day i took a video of you and your titties vibrating and you thought that you should be naked with a girl after that yeah i look fire i'm just telling you insane self-confidence good luck yeah it's unbelievable dude that's great god bless him yeah god bless him yeah and bro it was in brooklyn you'll be president 120 unattractive but she was she was fired damn he's just [ __ ] on brooklyn all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because uh fellas we don't care enough about our skin and ladies if you're listening right now you know your boyfriend or husband doesn't care enough about his and it's sad and we need to improve it because we're going to be on this planet ideally for a very long time so we need to start taking care of it right now and geology has got our back fellas it's that simple okay your busted ass skin doesn't have to be busted no more okay your wrinkly ass skin doesn't have to be wrinkly no more you could put a stop to it right now with geology and they make it so easy even men can do it that's right it's not all these different creams and 50 different [ __ ] lotions and powders that women do ladies i don't know how you manage it or not how you control it but you've got a way in a system but fellas we cannot do this we need it simple and that's what geology has done the morning cream the night cream think about that is there anything easier than that and it's specifically catered towards your skin that's right take the test right there it tells you what type of skin you have and what lotion you need to maintain it to the best of its ability so geology is offering you an exclusive 70 off offer but you don't just get their award-winning best-selling eye cream you get a whole five piece custom skin care routine 50 in value for just 15 bucks the eye cream alone retails for 45. this is a hell of a deal go to geology.com take a quick 30 second diagnostic quiz to get your personalized skin care number use the promo code flagrant to get your personalized trial set for 70 off okay geology is also announcing the metaverse extension of their company called geology galaxy okay galaxy is home to several collections of their very first nft project first purchasers of their first nft collection the g factory will unlock a 150.00 personalized skin care set plus g hoodie plus g hat okay they're on a mission to create an approachable space to talk about skin care for men while also creating a safe community to learn about nfts and other creative digital pursuits they launched the experience on tuesday april 12th 2022 at 12 p.m so go check that out and let's get back to the show oh you don't think they're attractive girls in brooklyn i mean if you like ones buzzing their head around dressed like influencers think about the hasidic women this is what happens you grew up in l.a you just expect everyone to be like blonde haired and fake lips and [ __ ] what am i supposed who doesn't like the fake lips let's just be honest the fake lips work right i don't like them women like when we have fake hair they like when we're on finasteride and our hair is maintained so we like that i'm sure there's been fake lips that are well done that i didn't notice and i'm like oh that looks good yeah but when they look all pillowy and [ __ ] i'm like oh i can't do but it's better than if you look like a bird [Laughter] isn't it better than that yeah right so i think that's what we have to judge we have to judge like not what's better if you have perfect lips versus plastic surgery it's like everybody looking like madonna right now she kind of looks like the alien uh her face but like alien workshop remember them skateboards people have that's what they're doing she looks you're saying what's right because you're not you don't plan on uh making love to her yes correct right but if you were to make love to a seven-year-old woman would you want her to be like 70 no that's what i'm saying she aged out of being made love to yeah i i know your point what i'm saying is in this hypothetical scenario where you have to make love to a seven-year-old wouldn't you want her to just shove [ __ ] in her face until you saw you saw the video you know what i mean i mean it's horrifying dude but but but but okay go to uh titanic and the old woman in titanic she's 70. for 70 that's good the old woman in titanic is 70 years old that throws the thing old rose old rose is 70 years old which one are you taking 70 72 maybe i don't know if that's actually 30 years old seven years old how do you know that 40 years ago i was only 100 there's a whole thing about it and i'm going to come back here when i'm 72. and then return the heart of the ocean to the ocean or whatever i think you made all this i'm not making you know 112 years old objectively you don't think that she looks better objectively speaking go back to titanic go to titanic i'm gonna give you an honest answer yeah honest answer it's not even a debate bro it's not a debate come on right no madonna debate i think i agree with you she's look at that right that's seven years old not [ __ ] rose for sure no you you're you're you're lying to me which crevice be honest no i'm going madonna of course if you're doing a weirdo dog i mean it's not even a question you're also madonna just for legacy too yeah just like the biggest pop star of all time yeah yeah i want the cone tits and everything yeah but i want the full experience that's [ __ ] great yeah which also speaking of people aging this [ __ ] was going viral this is a buddhist monk he's like 108 year old buddhist monk oh come on don't do this [ __ ] bro yo this guy look like madonna yo stop playing still alive stop playing and like he's just living his best life doing his thing let him die dog that's crazy like at a certain point have you thought about this like you're going to get to a point where you're going to be dumb old you're going to be on all the machines that's not real fam it's real he's only 108. oh my god only yeah i feel like you shouldn't look like that at a hundred people you look like king tut right now same due same yeah no that's crazy but have you thought about this like oh when i get to a certain point call it no no no yeah because we don't know where technology is going to be but if i start looking like that call it what do you mean looking like is it the look or is it like your ability to walk around and do this to look yo i don't want to look like that okay you call me vayne if you want to i don't want to look like that even if you're still capable you could douche it you're like no just not that he looks like a smoker's lung only just a long all he needs some lip fillers he'll be good yeah exactly that's it facts good but no i mean this this is pecu what is what is he first of all like what what what did why was he before this like what race like i i don't even know what he is he's tired probably yeah he's thai yeah oh my god let the baby go he's sucking the life force out of he's trying to get her youth i mean this is no al you didn't see this yeah i'm just it's insane right wow yeah i mean this is just so no this is prosthetics or something like that i don't believe this is real that's not real oh the robot right it has to be a robot there's some april fool's [ __ ] right this is [ __ ] when did it come out this is april fools this is like february 22nd there's music there's no no no no no no no no no no there's no way it's real dude look at the eye sockets yeah he's old yeah but don't you think they'd be more like squinted oh my god gotta be fake he's not from thailand maybe after 100 they start getting bigger that's the tipping point but have you thought about this like having like a do not resuscitate once you're like 105. no i want to run it i want to run it even if you're coming off huh you're in a coma yeah i think i come back from that okay i think i would come back from a coma fully incapacitated in a coma you're 105 years old dude imagine how terrifying that is you're in the coma you could hear everything still but you just can't communicate and they're deciding whether to pull the plug that's the thing what that happens to a lot of people they're like oh yeah i'm so glad you didn't like pull the plug they remember everything yeah like i could hear you the whole time yeah and then like one person like one parent was like yeah let's just you know and then the other parents like no we got to keep him around and then he wakes up like pisses [ __ ] at his dad for trying that's a thing that's actually happened i've seen that there's a video of this i mean i don't know if there's a video like i need to see this person i don't think they're just filming the kid like let's kill him i mean why not you're not trying to make content yeah that's a good point but we should have that we should have one of these people on the podcast yeah i would love to know what they do someone in a coma yeah they kind of just laid it yeah they're mostly laying down but how do you feel about that what they do physically [ __ ] how do you pass through the day like you're aware you have your thoughts you can hear everything going on you just can't communicate so you're just taking in everything and just thinking all day yeah jesus that's your worst nightmare my worst [ __ ] nightmare literally oh my god maybe yeah dude if i take too long a nap [ __ ] kill me that's my point that's why i don't think you can handle being in a coma yeah that would be crazy that would be absolutely terrifying yeah you're just sitting there like [ __ ] i would that's why if you're in a coma i'm gonna pull a plug can you get bricked up in a coma probably i'm sure you can but the power of bluetooth that's a physical response dude that is sick yeah yeah yeah yeah well no it's a mental response like stephen hawking can get bonus and [ __ ] he got his wife pregnant is that true yeah after he was crippled got his he cheated on his wife and he got the other one pregnant there's no way yes you didn't know about this pimpin pimpin pimpin look this up no no you gotta let him cheat he ch and the girl that he cheated with was the guy the girl who like taught him how to speak without speaking anymore oh you've got to give her some [ __ ] like because i mean but yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and he did it i mean that's game though after 11 years of marriage um his wife i think filed for divorce in 2006 there was immediate speculation hawking was cheating on her something he strongly denied and then he got back anything to be honest how is he gonna argue with his wife through the computer that's the worst part yeah she could just turn it off yeah yeah i'm tired of listening to the volume all right you want to hit some feelings no faster yeah let's hit some feels no facts immediately do you see it hezbollah kayla preston oh shout out to caleb i [ __ ] love it you're killing it so caleb presley the sunday conversation he had hezbollah on he went out to [ __ ] dubai and um he's just great he's just [ __ ] murdering it and uh it was just so funny it was brilliant he's great i love this kid we need to get hezbollah we need to get husband i would love that yeah are you going to tickle him i yes what can you do to him like what are the rules well he's just an 18 year old person so whatever you do to regular but he'll hit you at full strength yeah but he's smaller he had the full strength he keeps a knife on him he does yeah he keeps that thing what if we got him to fight out just a regular like just wrestle i would love to see that al's out [ __ ] you can't do that yeah and i would love to see who's stronger him or a little person i mean yeah i don't think that he's that strong yeah but he's he's fun he's entertaining uh he looks peculiar and uh i think he fakes the voice a little bit that's just my hot take he's always actually super deep i don't think he i i think he speaks like a normal russian but i think he understands that it's funnier for the character to raise it up like tyrion wasn't you know what do we do for the game of thrones no i mean like different videos say again don't they got different things what what what's hezbollah's thing well i don't know what his exact thing is he's not a dwarf yeah what is he he looks like uh pretty dwarfy he's just i don't know he's got like a developmental thing where like he looks like a kid whereas dwarves don't look like kids yeah they do well they don't they kind of do peter looks like a kid i mean if he shaved him he'd probably look like a [ __ ] kid if he walked up to you asking for like a lollipop or something like that you wouldn't be like what are you an adult asking for a lollipop don't you think no because if he was hairless no i think his face looks a little aged yeah yeah no he has ghd growth hormone deficiency no remember that girl that that was the pedophile's dream that she was like 22 but she looked 12 or whatever she didn't sound like a kid hezbollah might have that ah andy milonakis he sounded like a kid oh yeah yeah yeah it's always shocking how many black people know andy milinakis that she's always totally not just as much trouble as black people have remembering names but that is the thing they all know why is that how do black people know about andy milinakis i got a theory he didn't know that okay let miles go this is gonna be good speak for all black people i will i will he was on right before wilding out like his time slot was literally the top of the lead in the wild now i used to watch both that's a scorching we don't really come early to stuff but yeah they're not exactly known for their punctuality that's why you know mtv usually replays [ __ ] yeah yeah that's a great take that's a good point miles okay did you see uh see how much better it is when you just present it as [ __ ] [Laughter] always start with i have a hot take and then we're gonna believe everything you say okay got it but then when you tell us exactly why the reason is yeah that's where you're gonna get in trouble yeah all right i got it now did you see uh our place on reddit have you heard about this oh you're telling me this is this is awesome this is this is really cool basically reddit does this is like a uh like april fools thing they did back like 2017 then they brought it back this year basically what happens is every little dot you can can't really even see it on here every little dot is a a pixel that you're able to place if you have an account and there's just like i think it's like a million pixels like the whole plot and basically what you do is you go and you place a pixel and you can only place one like every 20 minutes so basically you have an entire like all these communities that got together and they're trying to place pixels in order to like create visuals and then over time they fill up the whole thing and then you have different groups like warring over each other for land and so they're trying to like place pixels over each other so like they dropped a like every time the american flag gets dropped people try to like take it over and so like they post it and then like there's a whole thing where like the trans flag was up and then the germans had their little thing and so the trans people and germans were fighting and all these different like sub-communities are like fighting and warring with each other through this like sandbox i just think this is brilliant like communal effort right here to organize the amount of people necessary to make that flag or make these little what is that ozil i don't know what that is but this is a genius dude i mean they would do that on minecraft like that you'd meet in the little world and then build like the starship enterprise like cube by cube yeah exactly but can you do it 20 minutes at a time i think that's so crazy about it like you need so many people this isn't the best depiction of it because you can't see how small the little pixel is yeah right like that american flag is how many pixels mark i mean thousands thousands so it's like you need thousands of people organized knowing exactly where they're gonna place which color where and doing it every 20 minutes ah so cool people have jobs anymore i know i love that incel's found a hobby now this is i just think it's 1200 goes a long way group organization no this is fires it's kind of sick right and the indians had a big faction what do they do where that [ __ ] is at they put an indian flag somewhere that should take it over you know it's over you feel pride when you see your flag though you see an american flag fire then you see a chinese flag y'all get that [ __ ] out of here painted they did yeah or they were starting to yeah no you got the indian flag right here right oh there it is yeah you all doing your thing good call bruh yeah okay what else we got all right so there's this rapper i think this is like maryland this is like one of the most insane things i've ever seen he oh he's a rapper gu knew yeah he got shot like two weeks ago r.i.p and he passed away and like basically like his family or like his friends got together and they threw his like funeral in a club and they took his body like his corpse and like basically embalmed it dressed him in full amiri and then put him in the club with everyone partying so he's hysterical he's just posted up in the corner and like everyone's there like legit going crazy that's fire [Music] wow yeah that's wild yeah that's wild i mean kind of crazy damn i mean but also looking fly as [ __ ] what if somebody bumped a table apparently i i just read this i don't know it was true but like towards the end like the state of his embalming wasn't as good like they were going for like five six hours so like his jaw was like sewn shut like locked shut and slowly started like up it turned into a thing that had to get like the embalmer to come back and like because he's standing up he was just trying to that's gravity yeah he's trying to get his bars off i mean yeah it's wild kind of wild though but maybe it is is it wild to like is it open casket wild that's what i'm saying how different is this than an open casket yeah slightly yeah yeah i guess the open casket like the people that you know but think of how much money you save not having a casket that's thousands of dollars right there bang that goes fire dj some drinks but also he might know all these people these might just be like his family and friends yeah it is right i assume it's just people it's like it's an irish wake but it's more fun yeah it wasn't like a club night like i think they rented out the club and like did the yeah so this is their version of it i think that's i think it's cool like it just makes me think about how odd the the open casket is yeah have you have you done that before i have that's just not weird i laughed my [ __ ] ass off no and i had to leave who was actually nils's dad my one of my best friend's dad no yeah yeah this is the craziest thing insane take right say again it's just a wild taste you know he saw one of his friends no and it was like andrew and alex type of things like a silent library thing like [ __ ] and it was like i knew i wasn't supposed to laugh so i started laughing and it was like it's like somebody looks at you and goes do not laugh right like i walked in the room and i was like yeah you just don't laugh no matter what and then uh yes who was the friend come on right now who was the friend you were looking at and challenging honestly i might have been i might have been alone probably nils no probably not bills but like it was yeah but i remember having i was like oh [ __ ] and i had to leave so i could go outside and [ __ ] laugh dude that's the most [ __ ] thing i've ever heard it's bad right like it's it sounds [ __ ] up but crazy i know it's not crazy no thank god i'm out with you dog because i don't want you laughing at my [ __ ] funeral no i would laugh at your funeral that'd be fine seeing your little flabby body sitting down there spilling all over the coffin dude that'd be funny yeah be funny no i think we should yeah we're definitely gonna have jokes did you see that irish guy's funeral i thought that was dope uh or when they is the funeral the same as when they bury you is the funeral the same as when they bury you there's a service and then sometimes like it's at the grave site sometimes it's out yeah so the one that was at the gravesite because usually i think the irish people do like a wake is called a wake wake where they it's like in a a place it's in the funeral home right that [ __ ] is so fire bro okay this [ __ ] made me want to die oh no watch this this is great so they're at this dude's funeral you got to turn the volume way up [Music] hello hello in here [Music] oh [Music] shout out to the audio mixer like yeah oh they did a great job right so what are you gonna do for yourself i don't know i don't want to plan it because i think we'll make it happen but like i just think that that is so cool like he's aware that all these people are going to be sad on this day and then he gets and in a weird way maybe it makes you even more emotional you're like i really miss this guy he was really good yeah it makes me way sadder yeah at the same time you want everyone to cry at your funeral right facts i don't know what a cool moment like that's why i saved you for the end they're crying and then you just lift their spirits there it is that's how you leave there it is that isn't that cool and the dopest thing about it is it laughs can be selfish right yeah making some laugh you feel good he's gone that is selflessness yeah and laughter you're giving somebody the laugh and you're not there to take it you gotta think what if that [ __ ] bombs yeah like you die you gotta try it out you you're gonna throw it in someone else's future though because to bomb and to not have to deal with the bomb imagine you bombed and you died right after the set and you never had to but imagine your kids are there and all of a sudden they're like yo my dad died and then he sucked at jokes like the [ __ ] imagine no one showed and it's just the guy that looks after the cemetery and he's burying you in the [ __ ] cassette starts to play wait what and he doesn't know i'm in the box he's prying that thing open 100 oh yeah yeah that [ __ ] i don't know that was cool yeah that's fine i think that was super i'm not doing that i'm getting cremated you're getting cremated yeah really i don't want my body in there huh i don't want my body i mean even way more fire video if it it's hot [Laughter] turn the [ __ ] fire off yeah wait you really are getting cremated that's not very catholic yeah i'm surprised y'all do that i don't know both my grandparents got cremated are they catholic yeah aren't y'all not supposed to do that we're supposed to do that oh really yeah are y'all not i don't know i didn't know there's a rule against it i gotta ask yeah you definitely can't get cremated dude why are you going to get your ashes spread i'm not going to give them spread i'm going to get a put an iron and buried that's super gay it's also cheaper too it's also cheaper you get it it's a smaller plot yeah less plot yeah i mean ah what you're gonna get your ashes and then bury the ashes getting buried is weird though why the whole casket and all that like for what i agree that's weird like for what no it's better why well what if you actually do have to lay like that for the rest of your you know eternity but you're buried anyway just burn me yeah you want to be ash just piled up are you going to do this whole ganges river thing hell yeah bruh burn you on the planet yeah wait what is that what is it yeah like all the bodies get put on uh no you get cremated yeah and my wife because she cannot live because she nagged me so much she's gonna fly to india spread my ashes in the ganga and then i'm out wait that's actually a thing yeah can we go do you think that they're going to let a brown person take some mysterious powder onto a plant it happens all the time no it doesn't yeah really yeah granola did it i'm pretty sure with whom he's dead no way yeah wow oh that's fire i'm going though if she doesn't do it i'll do it i'll spread them yeah that got to be a dirty ass river though yeah that's part of the collusion dumped in that daily dude yeah india not a clean place doug i mean fit in where do they let you on fire i want to go there you get cremated right there say again yeah you get cremated what do you mean like right there they're not lighting them on fire and then just pull up the anthony bourdain episode right there in these giant pyres and then they're put into the river and then he was on the other side getting the ash's face from some wildlife i haven't seen that it's like a wild like cast of the show am i wrong they led you on fire there right in india now in america you go to a funeral house you have the funeral food at home whatever and then you get cremated like that's it yeah i don't know it's wild but why you want to go full casket yep why it's super lit and are you good why why i want to pick out the outfit and everything because i'm taking that wherever i go okay or if i run it back like you don't know if we could run this back that's a good point so yeah i want to even if it's bones dude yeah yeah wait if you run it back you you're not gonna wear the same clothes in your next life no but they'll they'll have an idea what i like yeah uh style thing i think god knows that already yeah it's assuming it's god but what if it's a simulation you know what i mean like what if it's the aliens you don't think they know that already no they're busy man they've got a lot of other things going on is your suit also going to be three-quarter length on the pants yeah his casket's gonna be too boring his legs okay um anything else before we get out of here boys no that's all for me you need to talk to rod oh [ __ ] yeah we didn't talk about it well i'm gonna talk about girard on snl yeah did you guys see it i did did you see it everybody see it at least the clip mm-hmm yeah al yeah i saw his special i didn't see it ah okay i haven't seen the special yes so you can break down down for us but uh gerard carmichael hosted snl and uh he came out as gay on his special yeah um and then uh he came out uh i guess as gay as well on snl if you didn't see the special yeah and um and yeah uh his hands are gay now i i noticed that too yeah that was the first thing i picked up it was a lot it was like a lot more risky yeah it was a lot more risky yeah yeah yeah because we know girard yeah and i it wasn't as much yeah this is how it crazy andrew is okay can i tell this story do you remember this story he's the [ __ ] craziest person i've ever met we're at swinger's diner andrew and me i've never met jarad but gerard walks by before we knew gerard was gay obviously we wouldn't take him to swingers you know we didn't take him he walked by saw andrew then came in and sat next to us okay and they're giving each other love how are you doing what's new jerrod is like hey everything is great man i have my second special dropping in three weeks it's called eight really excited about it and andrew goes hey man that's awesome can you do me a favor and not do that thing where you don't get laughs oh [ __ ] because i'm tired of having to explain to people no no this guy's really [ __ ] funny but they don't get it because they never laugh so can you just be funny yeah he didn't he didn't say that to his face he didn't take our advice on this one let me clarify i did say i i and and i do mean this i've seen gerard absolutely [ __ ] crush with hilarious bits so i told him i was like dude i've seen you i know what you can do you can murder on that [ __ ] stage but you're putting out these specials which don't show that you're murdering and i gotta justify to people how [ __ ] hilarious you are so i said i was like yeah don't do that thing where you like i don't know if you're trying to be like artsy or something like that but like don't do the thing where you're not making people laugh bro because i you're a piece of [ __ ] yeah it's about me your speeches are about you don't while this dude was wrong to say i thought i'm looking out it's just wild as [ __ ] bro yeah well anyway he did the uh well he hosted snl yeah and i saw the open monologue and he looked [ __ ] great in that double breasted suit i'm not gonna lie he looked [ __ ] good yes yeah very good for sure for sure gay dress that well yes no way you're not gay stress is way better now that he's out absolutely never dressed that well while he was in yeah out killing it killing it definitely more risky but at the same time if you're controlling your wrists for your whole life they're free the first couple weeks you're going to want to let it go yeah right don't you if your whole life you're like just [ __ ] keep it like that you know yeah yeah yeah don't you absolutely oh dude i'm looking like one of those things outside the car dealership if i come out of the closet i am fluid yeah okay and then and then he drops his special which a lot of people are saying looks absolutely amazing etc is it traditional stand-up special it's called rathaniel i haven't seen it no it's not traditional stand-up it's more like just him coming out the closet and telling his whole story leading up to that moment gotcha and using jokes and using stories in order so if you look at it through the lens of a typical stand-up special then maybe you're gonna be like wow this isn't as many laughs as i thought i was gonna get is that what you're saying correct okay but if you're looking at it as like a performance piece fantastic interesting yeah and bo burnham directs it people are saying it looks amazing as well that's great so that's what it is it's just lens like stand-ups are going to look in and go yo why aren't there more jokes than this but if you have no clue that gerard's even a stand-up which there probably are a lot of people entering it not knowing that he's a stand-up and they're just going to go oh this is a really cool story that happens to be funny every once in a while as well yeah that's a bonus yeah you know i is it is it i mean it's probably different but remember john leguizamo's one-man shows oh yeah yeah yeah yeah like those had serious moments as well is that what it is i mean it's hard to say like he's just sitting the whole time there's like there's no it's not theatric at any sense like i don't know i i don't know how do you really label this and and shot in a really interesting way people kept coming really interesting i almost think it's intentional to be right across the street from the seller and not shoot at the seller wait why i don't know it's just not he's i think it's hammering home the point that it's not stand up now most people wouldn't pick up on it but if you're a stand-up i think who knows new york you'd be like huh right across the roof from the cellar and not at the seller uh do you think there was like a jazz play to it i mean this is maybe it's a jazz play maybe yeah and the lighting again is beautiful yeah and there's like i saw some of it i probably saw 20. i saw him until he comes out of the closet and it was i like really visceral like you just want to hug him and tell him like look man when you came out as bi you said you were gay what is what did you think we were confused about just don't know you went through a lot of pain you didn't need to go through is what i'm saying as someone who cares about a guy's mental health we know you know stop torturing yourself buddy live your life dude that is funny because he came out his bio i think on the breakfast club i know his hbo special to his mom he like told his mom i've had sexual uh experiences with other men in his home movies or whatever it's called and so it's like what secret did you think you had buddy i don't understand oh [ __ ] i didn't know that yeah oh so you're out already yeah that's my thing is bruh why are you going through this pain yeah right like don't you need to do this to yourself yeah that's interesting you gay it's okay i tuned into this special knowing you were gay and the only thing that bothered me was 25 minutes in the big secret was some [ __ ] we already knew yeah it's like you had like a whole thing like i'm gonna hey i got some secrets i need you to know and then 25 minutes in you were like sometimes i'm an [ __ ] dude what idiots [ __ ] bisexual men are [Laughter] what [ __ ] idiots dude dealing with women when you don't even have to what an absolute dumb ass right you have the opportunity not to do it right you love dicks yeah just as much yeah like or we'll say again more more well no if you're bi let's say it's even i'm not saying he's bi i'm just saying hey buy person do you think it's even for a tell us how you feel tell us how you feel dove what is it like are you with me right no no i don't think he understands what i'm saying i know explain to him what i'm saying you're trying to come out his body right now just tell us how you feel yeah yeah if you're notice he's controlling his wrists no uh i i guess what i'm saying is if you had the opportunity to just be [ __ ] bi about it yeah well i mean just be gay about it like if it's 50 50 now life might be more difficult sure depending like what industry you're in but if you worked at like zara probably be gay no you're czar you're gay if you work at old navy or straight yeah yeah yeah yeah there you go you play 50 you work at flight club you know just [ __ ] lean lean left yeah you know but if you work at zara or you're working like a sephora wouldn't you rather be the gay guy like talking about blush and [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah 100 i see what you're saying you're doing a show in new york maybe you're gay you're doing a show in toledo maybe you're straight dude that buy [ __ ] is fire when you think about it literally no you just could just keep you could keep whoever you're in a relationship with on their toes code switch yeah keep arguing with me imma start sucking dicks again

Channel: FLAGRANT

Views: 1,372,034

Keywords: andrew schulz, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, stand up, flagrant 2, sports, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, comedy club, near me, jokes, interviews, akaash singh, alexxmedia, alexx media, alex media, eddin, eddin media, Thankyoueddin

Id: asjnmA9Otlk

Length: 105min 57sec (6357 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 05 2022

Reddit Comments

[u/TheShreddrr]

the intro monologues have been top tier

[u/dot_ob]

Did they have an audience for this episode? I could hear a bunch of people laughing in the background

[u/No-Shoe5382]

Watch Schulz accidentally actually become president.

HindusForSchulz

[u/CakeMachina]

Fire

[u/RealDietSmoke]

We’d vote for him!

[u/ddestro]

“Jada’s a 7” is probably the single worst take Schulz has EVER had. These jokes been lazy AF bruh

[u/Eterna11yYours]

Would it be wrong if we actually entered him into the presidential race?

[u/Hello-Im-The-Feds]

The monologues are A fucking 1.

[u/carlg17]

Is the pod just a big long skit show? No more topics, just rehashing the same jokes for 2hrs? 🤮