Johnny Depp & Amber Heard COURT ROAST

amber heard sucks now i'm not talking about how she gets acting giggs i'm talking about her as a wife i would rather be married to a fleshlight stuffed with barbed wire than that aqua [ __ ] there are abortion doctors that have drained less life out of people she crushed johnny depp's career so fast they should call her coochie astro world lied about abuse to destroy him this busty smellet is more toxic than a two-week-old tampon or as they call them south of the border menstrualtas now before you go out there thinking johnny depp is this innocent victim remember it takes two durango i mean being married to johnny isn't easy he's a walking wine glass that's had more bumps in a braille library and listen you should never hit a woman which is why what amber did to johnny is so wrong that being said if you're from kentucky and speak with a fake british accent and dress like a fentanyl fortune teller you deserve to get punched in your [ __ ] face johnny's more full of [ __ ] than his sheets also johnny quit crying about your bet already your wife took a dump big deal it happens to the best of us who's the bad guy in all this is it amber is it johnny or is it us i mean they're airing their dirty laundry and we're sniffing it up like a japanese businessman i guess the only thing that we can say is arigato honey mustang now let's start this show everybody at home and everybody in this room right now very important question knowing everything you know about amber heard would you risk it all akash i think you gotta risk it all i don't think you have to i mean it's pretty clear right you have to elon amber johnny depp these are legends uh you got to fill out the roster james franco james franco get out of here yeah wow she knows how to pick them huh yeah she does i don't know why i brought up james franco i'm just saying risk it all like there has to be absolutely something crazy about that exactly it's like heroin what do you think what do you think it is mark or maybe her personality it could be her effect his personality he's high right now it's her thoughtfulness and her dreams that are so uh inspiring and seductive yeah maybe yeah uh what do you think i need more on amber hurt i don't know who's who she is you don't know who she is she's she's a very attractive woman she's an actress she was in a bunch of movies aqua she's like aqua woman and the aquaman is she famous famous though yeah i feel like she's not a famous face for being for dating elon musk which is enough i mean she's famous for being married to johnny depp which is also enough yeah i mean dove you're in the business you you used to be what what what you feel how do you feel about what is the word on the street in hollywood about amber heard would you risk it all would you let her destroy your [ __ ] life she's not jewish yeah that's what i'll go on because she's not jewish i'm not going to resist that'd be the only thing that protects yeah but also like down the list of like hollywood types not for amber hurt really i mean yeah she got her her notice in the circles for this like sundance movie all the boys love mandy lane uh-huh that harvey weinstein bought coincidentally wow yeah and then uh you know just a little sloppy throughout the career so it leads me to say that there was some dove saying step yourself so you're not to sleep with her because of her career am i crazy to say her stock went up whoa yeah am i crazy to say hold on after saving johnny crazy crazy the stock went up after severing a guy's finger her stock went up went up how because he stayed he didn't leave shut off the bed state over here he's being abused no no no he walks into his room and his wife is [ __ ] on the bed okay after he showed up late to her 30th birthday or something like that i don't like that you made it sound like that's a normal thing to do [ __ ] the bed is abnormal behavior okay yo shut the [ __ ] up sometimes you [ __ ] the bed okay listen all i'm saying is [ __ ] the bed looked at her and was like not i got to get out of here he's like how can i make this work how can we go to therapy how can we figure this out because the [ __ ] neck is crazy he was willing to leave he's crazy he what he's saying the text i knew the next crazy what he for your throat that do not include injury that's fine yeah yeah what are they i don't know what are they yeah we need to do it your [ __ ] is [ __ ] and you know it her [ __ ] is [ __ ] yourself you're saying there's a bigger self of yourself myself i'm a happily married man no no you [ __ ] in the bed ruin me you shoot in the bed and now you're trying to justify like oh yeah my dick's fire that's what my girl stopped my breath i just pulled my neck my dick is fine i just put my whole neck i'm not gonna be able to do the podcast my whole neck is just pulled oh my i can't be excited that's how well that is she really is ruining your life you even mention amber heard my [ __ ] is [ __ ] up she's a sorceress she's a sorceress she might be part of that whole thing yeah i just want to let you guys know though if johnny is willing to risk everything yes 600 million son the [ __ ] is so fire she thought she could bring dogs to australia you know how fire your [ __ ] gotta be oh yeah they tell you you can't bring animals and she's just like i can do whatever the [ __ ] i want i'm bringing the fire out here i'm buying bringing this kitty what i'm yeah to say is i think the stock went up you know sometimes ufc fights happen where the guy loses the fight but he's so impressive in the loss you're like nah i still want to see him fight again max holloway i want to see her fight again max holloway i want to see burns the fight against uh right yeah she got she got a conclusive victory over johnny so that's pretty good wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait in their fight yeah what you mean well i mean i don't know if it went to knockout but like by points it seemed like she was yeah this guy's crazy yeah i mean that's also kind of lit that is but also no she didn't she didn't push it she never punched him though she never punched him what'd she do she hit him which is a difference that is a difference yeah stop being a baby yeah yeah yeah he's a little cry baby i don't know what to do she cut off my fingers like you got ten fingers yeah i know you played edward scissorhands you had zero one point that's exactly right yeah do you know what i'm saying i'm team amber bruh i like the way you think yo son i might have just switched it up out what's up you're convincing me because eddie [ __ ] you throws pots and pans you know a [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] can i tell you something drool on the dick walked to the bathroom drool still attached to her mouth as she walked to the bathroom look back knowing what she's doing whoa yeah secret latina that is what you want [ __ ] do you know what i'm saying she gives head where you go [ __ ] where you want where you want she got jody aries say again jody i was going to talk about this off the pod but since we're already moving and grooving show time i think we need to connect them both for a pod i think we need to connect them don't you think don't you think if we need to see the truth shout out to daisy all i'm trying to say is there are certain females on the planet that the throat is so crazy they get to do whatever the [ __ ] they want to do and life just keeps on he left his kids wouldn't leave her after you [ __ ] on his bed wow think how crazy that is what's [ __ ] too much what [ __ ] that's what you start doing she suck your dick and you're like what [ __ ] really oh you know i don't even do my own laundry i start cleaning lately every night i see some [ __ ] on them you don't kick me out of my house how's she that different from me you just start you just start listening to everything she's doing yeah why was i waving my finger i gave you the finger she took it dude don't be giving people the finger if you don't want them to take it yeah she just deep throated that [ __ ] and disappeared bro i'm just saying amber heard amber heard stock went up am or her going to get with another dude very soon you're going to see a richer guy i'm richard god more successful you think amber gets more roles after this bruh bruh yo if she got only oh my god that's her future sam think about it if she if she doesn't only fans she could buy the pirates of the caribbean franchise if amber she could buy twitter who's not signing up for it one only fans just one picture like this that's all i want to see i think i think they put her in that aquaman i think people believe she could breathe underwater i think i think i think she swallowed so many swimmers i think that they're like this girl might really be able to bleed breathe underwater i think you wanted something i'm just saying we might be underestimating amber we haven't even heard her side yet we need to save her yeah son she about to save herself mark we haven't heard her side she's about to come with the craziness she's gonna be talking on mike we're gonna get to watch it seductive as [ __ ] you know johnny depp with his whole little oh i'm cool i'm mysterious on whatever wait till the [ __ ] throat assassin you know what i'm saying wait till the throat assassin comes out there and starts talking about what you have the judge will be up there like uh amber so what is your defense say what what's your defense amber my my defense not hire her what my oh yeah sorry my bad i was just getting so horny yeah yeah i started talking real talk i think she's gonna have that little mic you know they got that little bob barker mic oh i think she can have that wrestling between the tits okay yeah i think she oh is this where this goes and i think that she spits on her one time [Laughter] yo she got to go crazy this she's fighting for her life right now spit on it one time rub it between the tits maybe squeeze it and and just she all she got to do is say that yeah yeah i did all that and what say that go up there say yeah yeah whatever he said i did it and he stayed [Laughter] last of the mohicans bro that's what she got to do this is the last of the mohicans right here but this right here if it's live can we donate and ask your own questions son i want them to stream yeah let's do that bro yeah dude i'm i'm hungry i'm a happily married man yeah i'm a happily married man i'm not gonna be like johnny depp and throw it all away well right now you're a pirate though yeah right now i'm a pirate i'm a little dizzy i'm a little bit [ __ ] dizzy so what what why was it johnny though you say again you think this is bad for you [Laughter] real talk who gives a [ __ ] yo johnny had a nice run mm-hmm yeah you left her pirate six get yo let her let her be jack sparrows oh yeah yeah yeah let her be jackson put her mouth on that [ __ ] cannon on the side of the boat just catch the cannonball in her [ __ ] teeth you know what i'm saying that is how you that's how you start a movie just wrap the mouth around it huh yeah spit it down what's up black beard what you gonna do now black beard yo amber [ __ ] what's her last name heard her why she don't need to last that's amber that's amazing right there that's amazing honestly you get an amber alert on your phone i get excited the hurricane coming i know you looked at your phone see some ugly ass kid they're like yeah amber alert two kids gone johnny depps that's the emperor alert is your family is done if that business oh my god your family's done yeah yeah if amber come around your family's diaper i'm sorry did she does she live in l.a amber heard sega does she live in l.a she live where the [ __ ] she wants she look at your [Laughter] she dated women too so like yo yo she might steal me and then steal my girl back-to-back yo remember that remember that [ __ ] documentary about the dude who [ __ ] the whole family yeah yeah yeah remember [ __ ] the mom [ __ ] the dab daughter yeah yeah that's her reincarnated she'll [ __ ] your whole family bro she'll [ __ ] your whole family that's a true crime documentary that no one ever talks about they're always like oh there's men coming into the house they're trying to kill you no no amber is gonna [ __ ] your whole life the whole family [Applause] amber comes around your dog's lipstick is out when amber comes around the lipstick is out no it's true you can't stop her she's unstoppable bro she's an unstoppable force all right that's amber [ __ ] hurt wait till she takes a stand okay the way she'll teach the yeah yeah i can't even speak no more okay a different segment uh throw go to the week who do you want to give it to this week you know who the [ __ ] it is wait who is this you know who it is you know who it is don't even ask me no [ __ ] questions bro you know who it is you know who it is bro the one and only the one and [ __ ] only dude come on bro she's gonna yawn once yeah she's gonna dawn once and a grown-ass kid gonna fall out of her throat oops that must have been lodged in there for a little bit that's what's going on she's gonna she's gonna yawn on the stand and a child gonna fall outside oh i remember you i'm just sucking you up down in arizona in flagstaff i mean she's beautiful you're really gonna throw it away for just for her like she is beautiful but like no no i'm not gonna throw it away she's gonna destroy it it's not up to you you don't have a choice she destroys okay let's say she walks in the elevator you're standing there oh what happens i you bet you better hope beyonce's sister what's the [ __ ] her name you better hope that's why solano started beating up jay oh really yeah and whatever was coming into the city knocking some sense in that [ __ ] oh you heard the footsteps that's why the steps she walks you can hear the [ __ ] uh leak but if it's if it's so fire how elon get away say elon doesn't have feelings oh he's the only one that can survive that's why he needs zero links exactly no emotional attachment the neural links is gonna let him fall in love with women yeah yeah yeah what you're waving here that's a good point i'm saying that's how you got out you gotta be [ __ ] yeah yeah exactly 100 you might have a chance i'll fight that [ __ ] off you might son you might but she gonna come back chomping away dude she's a what is that misspelling no no is that who's pac-man she's miss pac-man that's what she is she's like that she just walks around and she eats damn that's all she does yeah suck it right out dude [ __ ] acted acted like giant deb had a chance his wife should apologize to him johnny depp's wife should apologize because he was going up against a force that there they cannot be reckoned with i don't understand one day his son will understand one day yeah he could be like i get it 100 i don't want to walk drool lip dick bathroom lip dick bathroom so if you're amber heard's attorney like how do you phrase it what i'm saying is the [ __ ] does double dutch with her saliva ropes okay like this like that yeah yeah yeah the kids jump inside they dance yes and johnny depp's don't do that that's her saliva i'm cheating on your mom and then she's like it's okay kids oh yeah yeah this girl controls you yeah she has a hold over you okay so if the judge is like oh it seems like you're an abuser as your attorney you're gonna be like nah she's never abused he's gonna look at the judge back i'll suck your dick stupid and the judge is gonna be like all right all right hearsay all i'm trying to say is listen watch amber her getting off yeah and her getting off i think a lot of us getting off hopefully oh she stayed away from me i'm happily married oh yeah yeah i hope she's staying with me every single day we need like a like a private jet tracker we got to know what city she's in amber alert dog yeah we don't go outside amber alert if that [ __ ] in your city stay home yeah stay in your house hide your kids don't even go on your balcony if she sees you on the balcony's over it's like odysseus bro she's a siren fam she is a siren yeah odysseus he almost got god yeah he had to get tied down he but by what by his crew by the sound of the siren oh all these other girls talking about they got the gluck luck have you glucked a billionaire yet dumbass you know what i'm saying i don't want to hear you glucking [ __ ] and making you know minimum wage a millionaire get out of here minor leagues minor leagues minor leagues all right respect to amber heard that so we got free amber then yo free amber but free johnny too it sucks [Laughter] free amber and johnny's movies i think johnny should be able to act again yeah real talk cause like how are you gonna judge him if you ain't got your dick sucked by her yet it's mad people like listening to her story it's like sometimes she'll suck your dick yep and i mean this cause i've heard this from people she'll suck your dick and you start going like i don't even need that piece of my finger fam really she does that bro wow she does that she does that bro so it's like you're judging his behavior when you don't know what he's been through oh yeah monday monday morning quarterback thank you yeah you're not in the game not on the arena yeah all these critics talk what did teddy roosevelt say yeah he said don't judge a man so you got your dick sucked by the girl that [ __ ] his life over yeah exactly you didn't know that i know that quote sometimes sometimes she don't even let you nut wait really you come and she blows it back in hearsay hearsay is that yourself that is hearsay that's rumors is out there i believe it though you can't allege that against someone else bro i'm telling you this is a bad girl good there's no such thing as a good allegation okay it's just a ledge that's all i'm saying i'm trying to protect you please protect me what if she files a defamation student says oh he said my head game was too crazy now i can't live up to it dove what do we do in that case i think you got to prove you wrong is it defamation if you say somebody's too good yeah it's true i think you've got to get proven wrong that might just be formation i don't know jews are the only ones that get angry at compliments they own all the banks but how dare you how dare you say we're so successful all jews are rich we're losers come on bro come on bro okay you think she blonde bro that that girl not blonde bro is she say what she kind of looks blonde to me she's an angel look at her go look at her that girl is aquaman literally that's all it is she just pulls up to the school opens up her whole face and then swallows you up yup yup what's the next topic okay someone else does a forced nature that dominates everyone talk to us michael tyson oh my god akash the goat akash akash yeah you are you're a [ __ ] talker i'm a [ __ ] talker you're a [ __ ] talker i'm a [ __ ] talker you're a [ __ ] talker to people that are bigger than you often times yeah mike was going through this man's mind no this guy was drunk that's the thing he's drunk as [ __ ] acting up on a plane apparently threw a water bottle at mike tyson after he asked him to chill you need to get your ass beat you need to learn a lesson there's a line there's a little guy who talks [ __ ] there's always a line where i'm like i can't cross this line because i could get my ass beat you got a toy with the line you can't touch somebody bigger than you you can't say anything too too crazy you gotta [ __ ] around a little bit but know your limits this guy didn't just limit he don't know his limits with drinking you know his limits with [ __ ] talk yeah it's gotta be good natured and you gotta walk to the line and then walk it back and make it clear i know what time it is mike tyson let this guy off easy yo fam i was watching the video astonished before he [ __ ] him up a little bit i was like how is it taking all that yeah it's an insane video for anyone that hasn't seen it do you want to play real quick yeah run the video real quick i mean it's it's um the best part of the video there's amber heard his head what yes those videos we watch alone this is what it feels like though [Music] oh get out of here bro you don't know how to act where the flight attendant is at yeah remember when the [ __ ] mask was below my nose and they were there in a heartbeat telling where they at you know where they at no no you're right nobody wants to talk and nobody wants to talk to a drunk guy he came on drunk so everybody's like i'll just let mike tyson deal with him he did he did i'm just saying like yo flight attendants you got to keep some order face at the end this dumb ass duck lips [ __ ] that guy yeah he got [ __ ] up he's lucky he didn't get killed real tough if tyson was like yo let me come back to euro he'd have killed him i think the restraint he has is somebody pulled a gun at a comedy show where he was and he was like hey man let's just hug and this guy is talking and he was like i gotta beat the [ __ ] out of this can't be honest though i blame the cameraman go that's his fault he was gassing him crazy he's like yo this guy's crazy he's talking [ __ ] to mike tyson knowing full well mike tyson's about to beat the [ __ ] out yo real child was his friend though he wanted to instruct him that was not his thing he knew him he was like a whole road random dude bro you know they got upgraded whatever that guy that guy gets one punch for mike tyson he does what he deserves oh the cameraman for sure he should get at least one hit not a hard one but in the chest maybe bro he might dash you up to be stupid hey that's on you i'll be gassing cameraman cameraman is a black dude i don't know how can i say what he was uh that's my suspicion and this white dude is like oh this black guy thinks i'm doing kind of [ __ ] you know you know what like a little kid you could like get a little kid to do anything if you say it's a race yeah yeah he said all right go get all your clothes and see if you could put them in a drawer within 30 seconds yeah yeah like that that black dude was guessing why did i see the race that's it my time yeah i'm cool he was he was like he was going oh wow i'm cool this guy thinks i'm cool so he was leaning so he kind of looks like he's a little like you know that this is like a like a country boy so he's not been around black people that much i thought he was a zip zip oh no no no that [ __ ] was white but yeah this is a country country mouse and he's just out there never been around a lot black people one black dude hypes up he's like oh this is like the movies let's go i think we need more of this on play what do you mean trying to impress one black dude by annoying it or another like and the other one is mike tyson mike tyson's not black anymore he's mike tyson i mean he transcends race so there's only one black guy you see in front of you and that's the only one you've ever seen your whole life and that guy's like yo [ __ ] with mike tyson he's like hi also a beautiful moment to not be afraid of him to not judge him yeah exactly to assume that he would be like fun and sweet and like adorable and also he looks like a bird and mike tyson loves pigeons so i think i think that's a good point maybe he won't be mad at me and maybe he'll kiss me on the lips and the craziest part nobody caught mike tyson gave the dude mushrooms how [ __ ] you getting mushrooms out of this fight no he didn't give him that he gave him some mushrooms to chill out yeah i heard that this time i didn't hear it before so he gave him mushrooms on mike tyson then if you're giving a guy drugs and he does some drug [ __ ] don't kick in that question no no he gave him drugs to mellow out yeah cause the guy came on drunk i'm telling you we need a mike tyson on every flight to take care of drums no not an air marshal we need to air michael yes that's what we need i'm gonna [ __ ] you up if you keep talking [ __ ] that's a good point not about terrorist threats just being [ __ ] annoying because this is affecting more than terrorism what about kids if that's on the parents if a kid is kicking the back of my seat over and over parents not saying anything [ __ ] get his ass beat a parent could get his ass what about a crying baby kind of baby's a crying baby though you can't control that why you try are you traveling with the baby or at least give out a snack you just go smack the parent back snack pack to everyone that's a good solution i like that you ever been sitting there someone's like hey i gotta kill this flight but just you know here's a little some skittles and they give it to you yeah they give it to everybody else on the flight this is an inconvenience bro they're like yo they're like i got a kid here i don't want to be in convenience saying anyone so like taking candy from strangers bro that's the first rule on a jet blue flight it's awesome you know he was homeschooled they don't teach them none of the rules that you're supposed to do when you leave the house i didn't meet a lot of people growing up if any black guy told me to do anything i would do it on the airplane okay that would just happen now but for real though why do people need to travel with young children uh because you don't want to leave your young children yeah where do you need to go just ask he traveled across the into a different country with his dog yeah i want my dog wait what driving yeah we drove to toronto brought the dog and he didn't fly back because he had to drove back with the dog drove overnight well everybody drove by me all right guys we need to take a break for a second because you know those times where you're so into what you're doing is you can't think about anything else the times where you're at you're most focused and productive okay psychologists call that feeling of being in the zone the flow state an alpha brain from on it is the ultimate way to get there a world-renowned nootropic supplement with over 1 million bottles sold that's right 1 million bottles sold alpha brain promotes cognitive functions including memory mental speed and focus it can help you remember names zero in on complex tasks and think more clearly under stress okay listen you know comedian podcaster the goat joe rogan says he feels that it helps him form better sentences when he's talking alpha brain contains amino acids and plant compounds that promote the brain's release of alpha waves which are associated with greater creativity and productivity okay if coffee and energy drinks make you a little jittery you can rest easy knowing that alpha brain is caffeine free but if for any reasons you don't like alpha brain you can get your money back think about that you like it you get your money back that's how much they believe in it just give them two weeks if at any point that you don't feel like alpha brain is a fit for you just tell them why and they will refund you your money on the spot no return necessary so save ten percent on your order by going to on it.com that's o-n-n-i-t dot com slash flagrant now let's get back to the show so yeah i got how come people travel with them they're small signing their guardians traveling with a dog way better than traveling with a baby no crying no barking [ __ ] just sleeps on your lap chilling why didn't you just give it to the daycare i'm gonna leave him at the daycare for three days oh give it to it people don't love dogs the most anymore okay we lose our daycare just puts him in like a kennel all night so he'll be like i don't want to leave in a [ __ ] that's what they like nah where did you leave them no they're crated treat creatures or some [ __ ] yeah they like that [ __ ] bro come on man it sounds like amber hurt bro just lock him in the room like yeah they like that no but for real you took your dog yeah it was great don't do this why are you doing this taking the dog out [ __ ] all the time it was not great it's annoying to travel with your dog enough it's annoying getting them together and all that [ __ ] but just having him in the van is great he's just sitting in your lap and then pulling over every three hours so they could pee and poop no we only pulled over when we pulled over and then he would go to the bathroom but like if we're switching drivers or getting gas if you had the option to fly with your dog would you have chose flying yeah we could fly with our dog no i'm saying so would you have done flying instead of that 12-hour drive well we also had so many flights canceled in a row i was like i don't want that would you have picked flying over driving if you you you really going to do this don't don't look at me like i'm crazy look at me like i'm crazy let me understand this question because friday morning why didn't we fly why'd you drive 12 hours to toronto for a stupid [ __ ] dog no well we either fly friday morning or drive thursday night i damn almost broke up with my girlfriend driving to florida with a [ __ ] two dogs bro are you kidding that [ __ ] was crazy she almost broke up with me three times we had a great trip i was drugging my dog we had a little dog robin tusson or some [ __ ] you had a grown-ass dog your dog almost ate my dog multiple times all trying to say yo yo what if you you don't have someone who could babysit your dog ever not this weekend we will if if somebody could babysit we'll do that but if somebody could have babysitted you would have done yes that's all i need you to say yeah i could have babysitted your dog yeah bro we didn't think to ask you dog you only have a place to bro you're going to stay at our house yeah you wouldn't let him just crash into your place for a little dirty white people not without us you know three days why not how about that you want to let him sleep there are you there your yeah how could i give him hospitality if i'm not there by making it a hospitable place for him yeah leave a towel no no you got to be there he's not house sitting i need guests i like that let me bring your breakfast here i mean make a little latte nobody wants you at that crib i'm the only one actively trying to get miles to crib yes you got that spare room don't you no i have a hot dog [Laughter] my place don't swallow and i don't want to stay where it is but my place my whole place i'm trying to get him to rent it yeah i know that yeah i also know you've got a three bed i know that too yeah he's got the most expensive one bedroom ever right now yeah um nah he literally told us the last part is again i didn't make it too nice because i don't want [ __ ] no i didn't say that that [ __ ] looks mad nice i just didn't want it too comfy that's okay don't be comfortable in my spot because you're gonna end up staying forever yeah you know what i'm saying yeah like you you know yeah okay [ __ ] deal with squadrons i'm actually trying to help you out i'm like these sons of [ __ ] appreciate it hey you wanna help him out by helping him pay off his apartment i'm trying yeah get her kicked out is that legal what is that legal sorry damn son i'm a good man bro yeah you're a good man i'm a good man dude you would never have harassed mike tyson so again you would never harass mike tyson ever [ __ ] no has anyone ever bugged you on the plane yeah flight attendants yeah yeah no that was that zip zip dude oh yeah yeah hey i love this guy even more than i thought possible yeah yeah a lot he did he did the peeking and pleasing that peeking he got you bro i got the only way it's funny i'm not going to say it but you just have to imagine it with the word that i can't say obviously it's the n word okay but so last night we're going to see dumbledore right [ __ ] same way we're at the movie theater the [ __ ] where the seats kind of go down a little bit i'm getting comfy i'm letting farts go crazy right like so it's me my wife next to me and on this side it's a dude and his girl right so the dude's next to me right i was letting farts go like crazy right it's the movie two hours i'll probably fart an hour forty five bare minimum for an hour 45 minutes right if you can control it not smelling why don't you just not smile because i was it was what it was yeah like i was letting you cover it in the movie you don't want to put the effort yeah come on like listen to the music right you should be distracted like stop smelling my farts and [ __ ] so i let one go and i started to add a little volume to him i left it wasn't even too loud but i let one go right the dude didn't say nothing the whole [ __ ] the whole movie i let one go and this [ __ ] was wild and smelly crazy and all of a sudden i just hear from next to me the two just goes no the dude just get your finger on the trigger i won't say i'm gonna say something else but the dude just goes come on i put him through torture you're putting him and his girlfriend and his girl so now he's looking soft in front of his girl because he can't say [ __ ] yeah like what was he gonna say stop farting yes yeah i didn't say it wasn't me [ __ ] you i said it's your girl tell your girl stop farting your girl farts a lot in the movies feeding all that popcorn fart's gonna come out dumbass why are you girl blaming on me fat butt [ __ ] she got a bad oh butt yeah never going to move with you bro no never gonna do it all right what else we got man all right uh we'll do on top of the weekend akash stole that man that he had to drive to yo thank you toronto i've never gotten love like that in any of the cities i've been to it's so [ __ ] cool to perform my first theater shows all sold out and the first show it was real crazy because as soon as i walked out this first time people stood up as soon as i walked out like the whole first few rows and you feel this pressure like oh [ __ ] now i gotta deliver something they want to stand up for at the end again yeah otherwise i'm gonna look like an [ __ ] and then at the end of that show everybody stood up and it was such a [ __ ] fire feeling thank you guys man so much love i celebrated i got a little bit high it was a great time on what the cushy delta eight uh son i had never been high before i take a couple hits and i'm like this ain't [ __ ] i don't feel anything then all of a sudden my lips go numb and i'm like i think i'm high but uh everybody's like eating and talking and they're all talking at normal like pace and i'm like i want to participate in what's happening right now but i can't keep up mentally and there's food in front of me so i'm gonna just focus on this [ __ ] food and i'm just eating while everybody's talking to me for like 40 minutes and then it was a perfect high because it wore off later but now i can finally say i've been a little bit high oh [ __ ] yeah i was about to be a pothead oh no that was just i was just sick who's when she was way too strong i just felt sick for three days yeah yeah this one was like i was actually a little bit high with the joint joe rogan told me on the podcast he was like don't do edibles yeah so i didn't do an edible edibles would get you bro even i didn't think cbd would be bad but cbd [ __ ] me but this was like i was high for like 30 minutes was perfect i was in and out i just ate food i was just super focused on it and everybody was talking around me and i just kept looking at him like to him y'all still going yeah you think that's how good that drive was that he had to get high for the first time really amazing yeah yeah schultz drugged his dog shrugged himself that's what it is now which of the four shows was your favorite second show friday was my favorite first show is the first social still a little bit like whatever last show was the most crowd work i had the most fun but the second show i just felt like the most in my bag where like i have complete control over all of them went well thank god but of that one out you know when you feel like you're just like as firing as fast as you possibly can second show friday night i was like i'm here let's go that's locked in and this is my first time bringing my wife on the road so i was also a little bit like you got to worry about somebody else and i'm doing jokes that she hasn't heard and i won't soften i'm not gonna switch the joke up because my wife is there but it's also like i'm talking [ __ ] i heard that mark yeah that's dumb that's stupid i heard that i wasn't your wife it was because your mom was there right yeah the whole fam yeah yeah well i did that once i had a less big show up i had a big show if i'm at radio city and my mom is coming hey we talking about everything yeah oh yeah so but it was just so [ __ ] fine it could handle i love how much you love my mom dude that good man you're a good man dude that's fire though i'm proud of you man thank you man miss cameron i know you're probably watching so you're touching it you know what time it is yeah i mean i drove back from atlantic city after the show we did good idea or bad idea worst idea ever bro that should have had a little dog with you it was a two-hour drive i was asleep for an hour and a half of it at least no it was just you alone yeah yeah no it was me and derek oh okay yeah i thought derek came back i drove like 30 minutes i was like yo derek like i need to have you drive a little bit he just looks at me he's like [ __ ] man and then didn't drive at all he was like damn he's like fart the fact that he said come on not damn yeah made it so much funnier because he was pleased yeah he was thinking about that [ __ ] for at least the 40 minutes before he said oh yeah he didn't want to be the one black dude talking to the movie theater so he's like god damn he left so many slides i gotta push this down think of how many he lets slide before it finally came out is like a helpless like he died laughing when he said it bro he said it and i [ __ ] stopped i made it like 4d or whatever and then we drove the atlantic city from atlantic city back to new york within five minutes of getting this two-hour uber oh it starts letting them rip what did you eat like say what what did you eat i don't know i hate when you eat healthy i hate when you hear i hate neuters yeah when you eat healthy it ruins everything no i ain't neuters i thought neuter's not healthy i guess and that's a good that's what folks we had neuters at the place do you remember oh i remember that yeah we did have chinese food yeah so be honest did you stop after he said please come on stop for my life stop nope he he does something good like makes him like him and just kept on going how many more be honest i know you knew how many three no i farted one more time at the movie yeah wow come on [Laughter] be like yeah it'd be another mike tyson yeah you deserve that i don't deserve that be honest if someone did someone stopped you one time because you farted on them i didn't fart on them you did though yeah yeah yeah you know your shirt could have got beat up yellow crazy that is true if you taste the fart there's [ __ ] particles on your nose is that true yeah how else are you smelling it what are you smelling yeah this gas yeah where did the gas come from it came out of your whole [ __ ] and cold so when i smell strawberry there's strawberries in my nose technically yes a little no uh-huh no so if i take mad deep breaths i could get full yes if you breathe you're a long ass you're lying but yeah that's why there's monks that don't have food bro you've heard those monks they just eat air all the time i don't believe them it's very aromatic air i don't believe that night is true nah for this argument it is those monks is talking crazy [ __ ] like most of them are silent so if they're silent then how do we know that they could do all those things they don't be eating they'd be watching them they don't eat there's just one liar and the rest of them gotta stay silent they're just looking like this is my [ __ ] right here yeah i don't buy that monk [ __ ] yeah but when you smell when you smell fart you're smelling someone else's [ __ ] and that to me that's fighting that's like scuffing my sneakers my [ __ ] my [ __ ] smells so much different than my fart bro [Music] my my fart smell one man my [ __ ] smells the other way bro and what are your faucets what is your yeah what's the difference my fart smell how i want them to smell and your [ __ ] my [ __ ] smells like my [ __ ] that's why that guy should have really fought you because you could have had them smell good and you didn't yeah but i was enjoying the movie when i enjoy the movie my whole body's relaxed you did that to your wife and this couple next to you listen until death do us part yeah you might be dying what's going on right now that is true yeah i'm rotting from the inside she's probably so used to it at this point oh yeah i just let them just rip i don't even turn the other side into bed no more bro i used to face my cheeks to the outside of the bed you don't try to make it just go i used to pull my cheeks open yeah so you just be vibrating on a leg bro yes no i won't do it with her body part okay that'll be wow that's too crazy that's it sometimes i'll be like okay man you gotta apologize yeah come on we married something like oh [ __ ] yeah my bad okay what else we got yo they're trying to get madison cawthron out of here okay rep from north carolina what do you do a handsome ass kid in wheels also kind of a crazy uh person but he is seen in these photos wearing lingerie you keep copying everything i do yo i've been worn lingerie way before him bro when you do that when i was leah thomas on the podcast remember when i was at lsu yeah yeah so apparently he did this like a few years ago before he ever uh ran for uh congress before he ever did any of that [ __ ] i mean this guy looks too comfortable in his clothes like he's selling it look at the picture on the left this [ __ ] is voguing he this is not new to him yeah nah he's probably gay don't you think yeah yeah he's probably dumbledore he's a dumbledore he's a dumbledore yeah he's a dumbledore he might be a dumbledore he's a little wizard you think his dickwork yeah 100 all mental but yeah dick that card is all melted yeah but it still won't move yeah you're paralyzed from the neck down that means you could just get hard yeah shut the [ __ ] up swear to god stephen hawking got a girl pregnant after yeah he said well it might have just been amber hurt and she just sucked it out of his jacket she might have amber could get him hard guaranteed amber heard make his legs hard amber amber heard if amber stuck his dick his legs are just like so he posted a tweet and said i guess the left thinks goofy vacation photos during a game on a cruise taken way before i ran for congress is going to somehow hurt me they're running out of things to throw at me share your most embarrassing i don't think they're running out of things buddy i think that's a pretty big thing yeah i don't think they're grasping at straws yeah what is he he's a congressman how easy is that [ __ ] a rep i don't know the difference really but i'm like should we just do it for fun yes should we just run for congress for fun to show how [ __ ] stupid it is yes i'm telling you just do it can we run as a group no oh like the jackson five kind of yeah like we're a collective yeah that'd be kind of fun yeah we'll do that when you run for president no no no we could be oh god but like it's ridiculous if a guy like that can win it must be easy to get a congressional seat like an aoc like that's not hard he's i think he's like republican aoc yeah well he i think he was 25 when he won he was like the youngest politician right how much you make we just have to lose money to do it that's the tricky thing now we're gonna stop podcasting oh i just keep doing everything i'm doing all the secrets zoom in talk about all the illuminati meetings and everything didn't he say there was like a bunch of orgies with politicians like maybe he was just next shot he's a snitch i don't [ __ ] with him i'm a [ __ ] snitch he's gonna have fun look how he partying before he even in congress he don't look like he's having that much fun though now you look like you having all the fun i think that kid's a loser bro he tweeted he tweeted a [ __ ] loser he tweeted earlier in the week i uh there was one handsome no i ain't gonna [ __ ] yeah he's a piece bro he's a pretty little paralyzed from the neck up he's handsome from the neck up yeah the waist up yeah but i don't ever see anybody and be like yo he's handsome from the waistline i mean you can't his legs ain't handsome say again his legs probably ain't handsome oh that's true but do you describe legs as handsome not his what do you think his look like oh god that's a good idea if he went to outer space for a really long time i think so i'm just saying madison yeah he'd be tweeting that goofy [ __ ] he tweeted like right before this before this came out there are one god and two genders and it's like okay yeah i think you think there's one god and he made you the wrong gender and she kills me yo this is a wild thing this a bunch of people send me this a baby is born with two penises and the larger one is chopped off by the doctor i gotta know more about that larger dick bro apparently you couldn't pee out of it that's why they cut it off yeah but why cut off either that's my question why don't you just leave two penises yeah let me have two yeah this guy could have been the first only fans billionaire yeah it's like it's like if messi's mom cut off his foot why would you do that this guy got a gift let him rock he's got two of them let him keep both penises yeah i think you should be able to keep both penis and if he had to say you're not i don't want you cut off one of my dicks yeah apparently they both could get hard like to an extent one one it was a little more difficult to get hard and then the other one it's a baby bro why are you talking about this that's what you're saying you talking about how they ran that test well let's see if both of them get hard they both had the spongiest issue bro say what they had the spongy tissue will say that son don't be like the the baby dicks would get in awesome her movie was on the baby was born it's really hard the other one is semi-hard like you're doing it making the only fans for the kid that's mad weird yeah but he's an adult he didn't specify that that's what we was all thinking about those little baby guys i wasn't thinking about a baby why are you thinking about a baby also the urethra was too small to pee out of say what yeah it was like too narrow to people out of the big dick i mean you could open up a urethra that's my point i was like cut off the small one and then i bet you it'll eventually just go through the big one and be fine don't cut well add it to the end of the bin yeah just double it up yeah don't [ __ ] cut it off and put it somewhere else yeah that's a good point just keep getting a super dick yep hells yeah that's crazy like a sprinkler and you just have both of them should go real talk bofa that's fine and they were saying that oh they were going to try to keep the big one in the first place but then because of all these issues and they were like oh [ __ ] i gotta hate it i know nah i like that i like that i think you got to be strong i got three sperm on the side of his head i just realized that [ __ ] is a wild looking yes i don't know what that hat is over here um i mean this is another story that while i was researching this one i did a lot of hold on hold on hold on one second what he went that baby dick baby the interesting part is not the baby dick it's the fact there's two dicks why are you guys making it about baby days i mean that's every third indian got 14 different [ __ ] [ __ ] or some [ __ ] like that seven hands so this dude goes in for a uh a surgery mm-hmm on like uh hold on let me pull it up right here okay so he's going in for a surgery right and oh he's going for a circumcision at the age of like 35 don't don't threaten me she's a threat that feels like a threat oh my god all right so he goes in for a circumcision he signs a thing right before and he's like uh the the doctor the surgeon has the right to perform surgeries deemed necessary oh jesus christ so he goes in the doctor's performance circumcision while he's down there's like oh man this dick is super weird i bet she was full of cancer looks a little closer dick is full of cancer what does he do while he's underneath the anesthetic cuts off the guy's dick oh wow like this happened in 2008 there's a real thing that happened to a real dude the guy wakes up and he's like where's my dick [ __ ] and he wakes up he doesn't have a dick and he's too old to transition if you did it when he was like eight or nine or whatever the transition he would look normal bro he was 64. which first off how are you getting your circumcised at 64. right 64. he ain't using that thing he knew he had cancer in his dick bruh that's what he's that he says that he goes in there doctor cuts off his dick wakes up and goes yo why the [ __ ] you cough my dick and he was like oh you had cancer and you signed the thing they go to court jury sides with the doctor of course and says yeah he knew he had cancer his dick he was trying to get a lick guarantee you gotta get a little he was just trying to get a lawsuit going and then get breaded a hundred percent that's crazy yes but what do you do if you wake up and [ __ ] no that's [ __ ] fully [ __ ] that's [ __ ] up now no dick bro yeah go like do chemo first or something was he was he single 64 or married because if he's married he don't need his dick anyway yeah yeah that's a good point yeah that dick is done yeah he's head it's fun all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because uh we got to get them dangling strong and hard okay and if you have uh both of your penises still because your hate and ass doctor and possibly mom uh didn't uh chop off one of them right if you got that thang down there where both of them fangs down there you got that prong you got that prong pipi you can get them both hard bow parallel lines okay especially if you got that blue chew the twin mother and these aren't going down when you got the blue chew not at all they stand up hard blue chew same active ingredient that's inside viagra or cialis but this is the true this is the one we rock with okay and we happily married over here so you know what the [ __ ] time it is bluechew.com use the promo code flagrant you can get your first month free all you gotta do is pay five dollar shipping how about that bluechew.com promo code flagrant first month free best dick get your wife girlfriend side chick the new tricky toronto impress has ever gotten your life thank us now thank us later thank us even before a matter of fact thank us when you order it blue chew let's get back to the show guys infamous tour has two more shows left vancouver canada may 6th those are the last two shows come there if you want to catch the infamous tour never to be done again i cannot even believe i'm saying this is crazy it is um yeah i mean it's just so unbelievable it's my greatest achievement in comedy so far i'm just so proud of what we all created and everybody in this room created uh yeah just so wild so if you want to check out what one of the last two shows both the last two shows we will be in vancouver may 6th might be a few tickets left might not go to the andrews.com for those tickets but thank you so much to everybody who came to the shows on the tour akash what you got for first of all again toronto thank you so much also shouts to dj different human for coming through and spinning it really made the whole show that much better so thank you guys so much one of the best weekends of my life thank you again now this weekend i will be in bridgeport connecticut at the stress factory uh may 12th through 14th i'm gonna be in tacoma washington at tacoma comedy club may 19th through 21st i'm gonna be in holland muskegon and grand rapids michigan we added a second show on saturday so come through and also this just announced may 22nd i'm gonna be in houston for one night at the come and take it comedy festival at the secret group you can find tickets for those dates and all the other dates at akashing.com now let's get back to the show yeah that baby dick thing you said was really crazy what did i say i didn't say anything you was talking about when you watched the video when they got the baby dicks hard no i never said that remember you were describing that no i was talking about this how do you know the big one isn't uh it's a shower but not a grower that's a good point like you don't know which dick is actually bigger you know which dick is bigger talk about them getting hard so no he said they could get hard yeah they could they got the spongy too tish yeah exactly yeah again but remember when i proved that [ __ ] wrong what were there it wasn't the blood that makes your dick hard what makes your dick hurt the spongy dish oh yeah yeah spongy tissue remember because i said we got blood in our body we don't walk around with starfish that's true right like so blood isn't what makes your dick hard is spongy tissue so they had this money tissue in both the dicks but we don't know say what it's both that's not true that was a nurse you wouldn't know so the blood is going i made this you made hard when you're a nurse son you've seen al back in the day you've seen it in the shirt i got all the girls that were crushing on me to wipe all ashes and all that i would have been a horrible nurse that's why i didn't go for it i swear to god i never white pass i seen one but i never wiped it you saw one i saw it there and then what happened yeah that's super a-yo it's crazy for him because it was an adult dick that's crazy but he was so into the male dick he was like y'all i can't touch this i'm gonna get hard my damn self yo yo one of these female nurses got to do it yeah i can't handle myself around these dicks i bet those female nurses be sucking on them yeah work hard play hard alex the doctors be doing that [ __ ] they do probably just coming in apparently he's jewish and they did it because they didn't want to do two circumcisions out of here yeah they didn't want to pay for them apparently [Laughter] is that crazy they really do that [ __ ] ah yes they do i'm oil but they really do with the mouth like they used to no some they used it too okay stop they did this they did back in the day they did it with their larry david right say what i was on the curb i don't know that's why i learned that [ __ ] but i'm oil isn't that what it's called by the way they do non-jewish circumcisions all the time like people trust them more than every circumstance is not jewish bro every circumcision is jewish mine isn't yes it is no it's not yeah it is i've seen it mine is not too jewish yes i have a very christian circumcision that's not true little tip say what the babiest amount no the baby's a man i would assume would be jewish say again babies amount i would say yeah my [ __ ] is fully off my [ __ ] is fully off dog for real they skinned it dude yeah that's kind of fire yeah circumcision is inherently jewish to me so i'm like no no no i have a christian circumcision what makes it christian is the fact that the way that i did it i chose to have a done christian and you did it yeah and what's christian about it most things nah yeah it is no jews said yo you got to cut it off and then you were like all right fine i will i'll listen i'll listen to jewish daddy i'm gonna get my dick cut off technically uh circumcision is not jewish who in history books it's not jewish stupid there's no mention of that there's no mention no no no no in the bible when abraham gets his dick cut off the bible was written at the council of nicaea in like [ __ ] year 12 into the whole world yeah like they put that [ __ ] in afterwards yeah to make abraham look interesting he just had cancer on his dick that was it real talk yeah yeah no i have a very christian uh pecker okay that's a very christian background dude i do yeah and what makes it more christian than like dove's pecker size yeah okay i got a i got a catholic pekka [Laughter] okay bust it would you and you have to be dead honest would you leak a dick pic right now okay right now harder soft dealer's choice okay post it on twitter yes or leak joe rogan's phone number right now i just leaked my dick really yeah i'm not gonna put joe through that so you just put your whole hard dick on the internet yeah so i feel like i don't even think it's a big thing yeah like just leaking your dick i said it's one day and then that story's done yeah it don't even last a day nowadays i don't know i mean elon free speech or what like that's right you know yeah i 100 100 put my dick on twitter the whole thing well as much of it as possible yeah like 100 but if you put it on twitter how long is going to be a trending topic though mad long right right i would say like eight to nine inches i don't know i don't know how long i don't think [ __ ] would even care like i don't think i think it would be like is that his do i have to say it's mine or is it just a different face oh [ __ ] that's a little different that's wild absolutely that's why now we're talking that's different joe's number might have to go up sorry joe joe number might have to get dropped baby i give him a heads up you might want to change his number uh okay mark what else we got okay one one last thing so basically netflix their share price is down a lot we talked about a little bit on patreon but there's apparently more developments that like they're allegedly laying off employees and that there's sort of like just investor panic in general yeah going on at netflix because it's down 70 percent yeah from the the high when when charles says america came back yeah it's probably coincidence yeah probably probably coincidence that literally their their high was at when schultz says america dropped but you could also say that's also what caused it to you know fall wow so i mean there's no there's two ways to look at you know i mean like whoa they're saying you might want to be careful how you frame it you know you're right whoa not having anything to follow should save america yes caused the price to fall because when you look at content after you watch that everything sucks yeah so it seemed like everything else that was coming out on the platform sucked but in reality you're just comparing it to a masterpiece yeah yeah yeah picasso let's go trying to get ahead from a different girl after you had amber yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah i heard yo you you almost pulled that off i was gonna say rose bro that's the only amber i know no i don't know it's changed up it's changed there's amber and then there's amber rose okay that's the rule now no no no no yeah got it so apparently they're gonna like try to run ads like there's conversations internally they're gonna do like you know yeah break it up with ads basically create youtube 2.0 what do you think do you think it saves netflix no i don't think so i think the main problem netflix has is they don't have a show that you watch for comfort food like friends is something you'll just put on the office is something you'll just put on that maybe not you but tons of people will just watch the office you used to say this to just fall asleep friends is something you'll throw on because i just want something that's nostalgic that i remember from my childhood whatever your show is there's a bunch of those hulu has a lot of them uh hbo max has friends peacock has the office netflix doesn't have that they have like full house but nobody does that they have seinfeld for how long they they pay for the rights to seinfeld it's not like and that's not that many people's comfort food bro seinfeld is probably the most rewatchable sitcom in the world it's easily the greatest sitcom of all time way more re-watching that's how good it is yeah and i laugh while i'm [ __ ] i'm good but i'm glad you gave it up to another new york legend now oh that's nice to see yeah so i think your point is is 100 right and i think that you need a couple things for a successful streamer now yeah you need comfort food which is what they had initially yeah but comfort food is not why people sign up people sign up for a hot scripted show yes they're like oh my god i need to watch this um squid squid game got really poppin that was fire but it should never have been like you should not you should have so many other shows that americans can watch that they don't even know what's going on in korea the fact that you the fact that like we've we found a korean show means everything else on the platform sucks generally i agree with you i think it's a little different with korea just because k-pop and [ __ ] is so hot in korean culture so hot and what's the [ __ ] parasite yeah so i think there's some but yeah the idea of parasite we shouldn't have seen it the idea that americans are willing to read subtitles they're they're spending they're spending hundreds of millions of dollars on scripted shows yeah hundreds of millions they spent i think a million on squid game total yeah that was not their investment for their next big show yeah they were like oh okay here's something cheap let's put it on maybe we'll pop over there and if it gets over here cool it's a fantastic show and that's why it won but i think his point is they should have a much higher hit rate the last scripted shows they have before squid game i remember what was the the rapist kevin spacey show that everybody loved at first house of cards everybody's like yo kind of doing it yeah then there was another show ozark there was another show in between i'm sure you're like stranger things you're like yo netflix is [ __ ] doing it but they have fallen off since they threw money at everything and a very little hit so to the point that i was trying to make it was that you need comfort food to sustain because you can't put a new show out every single week yeah and you need that the thing that people go to sleep too some people go to sleep at seinfeld some people go to sleep to friends some people just have it on in the back my girl does it with the what's it called uh harry potter right that's hbo max so you're sustained exactly in between the good shows and that's fine because it just reruns anyway yeah so it's just there you go you have to pay you got to pay for seinfeld but you also need a scripted show that captures culture and squid game did that ozark kind of did that it never got so big that it was just the only thing people gave up season two yes me too so it's just like and they haven't really had that their scripted department sucks it just does like they're not able to get the good shows hbo is batting a crazy batting average and then other shows are popping out like [ __ ] paramount plus and stuff they're the conversation starters and netflix is just burning cash on these shows like like witcher where it's like i don't know what the [ __ ] is going on here with superman and like beasts and [ __ ] but like i don't care i've tried to get into it so they're burning cash not creating anything that's tapping into culture and the only thing that's really working for them is like we were talking about before documentaries they're killing the documentaries selling sunset is like is like unscripted unscripted i mean that's probably low-key it's comfort food comfort just throw on selling sunset let it rock throw on the housewives let it ride you watch this wait why is it fire my wife watches it colorful but it's so phony yeah i can't do it oh yeah it's popular people watching globally it's popular like they've had a million dollar listing that was on bravo you go on netflix and now all of them pop globally is it just gonna become mtv though where it just becomes unscripted unscripted unscripted yep well also i'll do i will say this like game of thrones creators benioff and weiss they have the writes a book called three body problem and they have probably full control of the series it's coming i think there's a lull to your point for netflix but don't count them out yet they have some massive things i'm not counting them out but the model needs to change this is what they need to do they're going to make cuts globally no no the number one thing that they do and they need to do it right now is stop binge culture they need to stop it you cannot sustain you have a show that comes out and then everybody watches it over a weekend and then the next weekend they're like give me something so you can't afford to keep friends on because you need to create shows for people to watch but they watch those shows so quickly that you need to make even more shows that's why you're putting out hot garbage because you have to maintain so many different things if you have like hbo strategy a few shows that you put years in development and get the right showrunners get the right writers get the right actors and you have those shows there and they exist we will wait a week for the next episode to come on we're willing to do it but right now their whole model is drowning themselves it's immediately stopped the binging the problem is they're not putting out good enough content where we'll wait a week a lot of these shows we keep watching because we get it right right after the show's finished i don't know if a lot of those shows we're watching if we have to wait a whole week oh they had bridgerton british name was big i remember and that's shonda like sean is one of the best to do it no even narcos i'm like season one and they're coming out with another uh the spin off the grisel de blanco that could be big but yeah i think stop bendy culture and again i think the problem with the legacy shows on the other networks there was 22 episodes a season so there's so many [ __ ] episodes to watch there are 200 plus episodes of the office of friends of modern family on hulu with a netflix show with six episodes a season so even if i'm like oh i can't it's 30 episodes or whatever it goes five years but also to the netflix thing uh to their model like let's say it's six or eight episodes right the reason it can't create a cultural moment is easy is because nobody's watching at the same time yeah when we're all watching the super bowl at the same time we're all reacting in real time to that stimulus if we're waiting every week for the show to come out on hbo if it's an episode of game of thrones whatever it is you actually give time for everybody to get on the same cultural wavelength something can trend on twitter faster because we're all watching at the same time so they don't get the twitter twitter trends they don't get reddit popping they don't get anything popping because we're all watching this at our own time but if the show is good enough it can still catch culture it can but and that's a once in a [ __ ] blue moon the to andrew's points are to cut you off but the advantage of if 10 episodes come out over 10 weeks buy episode 8 if i caught it early i've told all of my friends about it and when episode 9 comes on we're all sharing episode nine if you just binge i've seen the whole thing hey tell me how it is when it's done yeah we don't all talk about it every moment on the table bro like if you believe in the show then we'll if you believe in the show then make us wait simple as that put your nuts on the [ __ ] table remember when breaking bad when it first came on none of us knew about it but because of netflix we all found it then by the time the last season rolled around every sunday everybody knows texting each other yeah we are all none of us started watching the show but now that it's every week when that [ __ ] sunday comes on i'm deciding between this and football and nothing has ever made me what if decided to buy sports something in sports they spend eight billion dollars a year in contesting insane espn that's the other thing gotta stop sleeping on disney plus bro it's the best streamers the best streaming platform out there i don't even think he's not wrong bro right now they planned from ten years ago yeah what they were gonna do and then they dropped [ __ ] marvel you got every disney movie espn jack sparrow espn all that [ __ ] lights up they bought fox's studio like they have own [ __ ] they plotted while netflix was busy pouring money into everything i guess the idea was to build up the lead it didn't really work disney was like let's just wait let's let's merge with fox we own espn disney try to let's get marvel let's do that and then they just [ __ ] they came with like whatever the big [ __ ] is we got it i wonder if disney tries to buy one like a liquidation low-key turn stranger things into a ride like you have all these properties you could just flip into like the parks and like add value that way if bail out their investors so if they actually had properties that were valuable enough yeah i don't even know if they do they got stranger things maybe but netflix the thing about netflix is they didn't make kids [ __ ] yeah they specifically steered away from it which [ __ ] them in an acquisition with this i think cocomillon is i think they have kids they have a kids thing you just don't watch it but they didn't kids but initially the idea was like yo we're going to make mature content maybe i'm not sure i think they would twofold that coconut just slaps crazy oh okay fair enough so they're making kitchens so maybe they do that and they can do some stuff my understanding is that they were making more mature stuff but i'm wrong i guess all i'm saying is you know it's something gotta give bruh someone gotta give i guess we'll see yeah big change is coming motherfucker's gonna get fired you firing all the like the younger execs i don't think that i don't think that's the game changer yeah i i don't i don't think it's done done i think there's they definitely have a lot of chances to save it i just think in terms of competing with youtube if that's what we were asking earlier that's the first question you know i don't think that's happening oh there's no ques youtube is inevitable it's not it's it's inevitable like there's no competition the only thing that they can do is outspend because youtube isn't gonna buy content right but in terms of like getting your content out to the most people like if your goal is how do i get the most people to see your my [ __ ] or it's you put on youtube simple now everybody needs to feed their family and change their family's lives forever i mean that's an awesome opportunity absolutely so netflix comes with a super bag and they go hey would you like to do that yeah i don't know at all santa but if they get to a point where they can't afford to offer the super bag and they can't provide eyeballs that's where they're in a [ __ ] up situation yeah so boys um that's another episode of uh flager 2. now i know people probably looked at this and they're like wait a minute just a little bit over an hour what the [ __ ] is going on well we always have a method to our madness over here flagrant 2 we're trying something a little bit new and you will have another episode out tomorrow that's right enjoy you

Channel: FLAGRANT

Views: 1,170,701

Keywords: Johnny Depp, Amber Heard, Andrew Schulz, Court, Trial, Sue, Lawsuit, roast, roasted, johhnydepp, johny depp, andrew schultz

Id: L3CAAi1-s8Y

Length: 71min 43sec (4303 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 26 2022