-Our first guest tonight
is an Emmy and Grammy Award-winning
comedian, a "New York Times" best-selling
author, and, of course, the host of "The Tonight Show
starring Jimmy Fallon." His new children's book,
"Five Sleeps 'Til Christmas" is available now. Please welcome back to the show,
our very good friend and neighbor, Jimmy Fallon,
everybody! [ Applause ] -I don't know what to do.
-Wide berth, wide berth. -What do we do?
What do we do? I'm here.
I know we can't do anything now. I'm here.
-Yay! -There's nobody's here.
It's unbelievable. -Yeah, we've got, like --
We're seven strong. -Wow! Hey, guys, you're doing
a great job, everybody. Hi! I miss everybody.
-Thank you. By the way,
you did a great job first. You came back in August.
-Oh, we talked. -And it was very nice -- Yeah, I came on your show
virtually. -Thank you.
-And thank you so much for sort of, like,
showing the path forward of how to do these shows
without -- -How are you --
How are you dealing? -It's weird.
-It's bizarre, right? -Yeah.
-It's a little bizarre, but I think we're getting there.
You know, everyone's doing it safely here, and I think
we're doing the right things and doing what we're supposed
to be doing -- entertaining. -Yeah.
It's very nice to know -- Ideally, it's the same amount
of people, obviously, watching at home --
we're hopeful -- but it's so many less
in the audience. You had such a great
relationship with your live audience. It was a party
to be guest on your show. -I made it my thing
where I would go and slap hands
at the end of the show. Why would I invest in that move?
[ Laughter ] I might as well
go and lick people. I definitely
can't do that anymore. -That dated --
That dated badly. And you had that recurring bit called "Superspreading
with Jimmy Fallon." That's dated badly.
[ Laughter ] -Yeah, but that was about
man-spreading. It was about a subway thing. It was ahead of its time.
Really ahead of its time. It was like,
"What was I thinking?" Yeah, yeah, no.
I remember even around March, just going like,
"Hey, we shouldn't hug the guests anymore
or shake hands." -Yeah.
-And then we were elbowing, and then we were bowing,
and then I go -- Now we're ignoring.
-Yeah. -And I just would ignore
my guests for five minutes, come back from a commercial
and then ignore them for another three minutes. -You have some very --
Obviously, like, here we have some crew. Every now and then,
you hear them. They're pretty picky
when it comes to jokes. [ Laughter ] What about you guys?
-Got to keep it real, man. -What have you figured out?
-What we've done is, uh, we have our writers and our crew
sit in the audience, and they're very, very giving
and very nice. We really --
We feed them great food. No, I don't know what we'd do. We just beg them
to clap and laugh for us. And then, we allow, I think,
five people from the building to get tickets to our show
and spread out and so they can --
-People who have already been tested on their way
into the building. -Yeah.
And then we have studio 6-B. We have some staff sit in there
and watch the show and get audio footage from them
watching the show on TV. -That's great.
-And we try to mix it together. So it's a total
of probably 15 people. -It's amazing, though,
when you have been with zero. -I will take it, man.
Honestly, for five months, I didn't know
what was funny at all. I had no idea.
I go -- And my wife was holding the
camera and she wouldn't laugh. And I go, "Well, just give me
a little thing. I mean, would it --
would it hurt to just go like, 'Oh, that's a good one'?" Disguise your laugh
if you want to. -People have said that to me
over the course of the summer. They say,
"Did you at least invite Alexi up to hear some laughs?" And I'm like, "What makes
you think, of all people --" -"Alexi sent me
up to the attic." She's like, "Dude, go do your
little show somewhere else." How are the boys?
-The boys are good. They, uh --
Again, I'm sure your daughters
felt the same way. I mean, they thought,
"Oh, this is way better. You figured it out.
You should always do the show here in the attic, and then,
we can see you for lunch. And then you'll go up.
And it shouldn't take as long. Obviously, you still
made an hour of television, and you were done by 3:00
in the afternoon. So the way you do it
in New York is stupid." I think that's how they felt. -That's how they felt,
yeah, yeah. My daughters, they had no idea
it was even airing anywhere until, I think, we got masks
and we went to Kmart. And in the parking lot,
someone was like, "I know you. You're famous or whatever." And my kids were like,
"Yeah, I know. I guess so." I mean, my dog is now --
-Your dog -- Yeah.
So here's -- here's Gary. -Yeah. She's wearing disguises
now when she goes out, because she doesn't
want to be recognized. -Right.
So, yeah. -She still won't wear her mask,
weirdly enough. [ Both laugh ] She's one of those dogs.
-People recognize Gary. -Yeah, when I walk the dog, they go, "Yo, Gary!
What's happening?" -[ Laughs ]
Everyone -- Yeah. You know, we've done things -- Drew Barrymore voiced Gary
over the summer. We had a bit where we made
the dog's mouth move, and Drew was the voice of Gary. So, that was a pretty popular
thing for our show. And then, you know, we released
a line of P'Jimmies, pajamas. -Oh, yeah, I have a picture of
the P'Jimmies right here. -With Alex Mill,
with the proceeds going to Feeding America. 100% of our net proceeds
went to that. -Be honest, 'cause P'Jimmies
is a great name. How quickly
did you come up with it? And then, did you come up
with P'Jimmies first and then realize
you had to make pajamas? -"I have to do something
with it"? You know I have a list of those
ridiculous ideas. But, no, I actually went with -- I made a thing
with Mickey Drexler. We made these -- There were iPhone cases
that when you put them in your suit pocket,
they look like pocket squares. -Oh, yeah.
-And they did really well. -P'Jacket squares.
-P'Jacket squares. [ Both laugh ]
-I remember. -They did giant in Sweden.
They were giant. That's how you spell
P'Jacket Squares. B-jorkin Squares.
-[ Laughs ] -And so we did that
and saved a bunch of elephants with that thing. So then, I saw him
out to dinner somewhere, and he goes,
"What else could we do?" And I go, "Well,
let's think of something." He goes, "Well, how about
clothing, anything?" I go, "Sure.
Let me think of idea." Of course, I'm thinking of
inventions and things. I thought of a baseball hat
that's connected to the hoodie. So then --
-Bad idea. And he was like, "Yeah,
let me think about that. No." But he goes,
"How about pajamas?" And I go, "Yeah, I love --
I wear pajamas all the time." He goes,
"You know, we spend 1/3 of our life wearing pajamas. We should really dedicate some
time to making the best pajamas. What's the problem?"
I go, "I have notes already. I want pockets in my pajamas. I think that the crotch hole
is too big and not completely closeable."
-[ Laughing ] Right. -"It's usually a tiny button."
It's too dangerous. Too dangerous for me to walk
around with that little button." -If you have to run out
to get the mail... -Yeah.
-...and the wind blows... -Thank you. You know how many times
that happened? [ Both laugh ] For me, it's "A Quiet Man"
when I go to get the -- I run out, and things happen. So I go, "I want a fake, uh,
pee hole -- I don't know -- fly. And so that's closed."
-I think "pee hole" is better. -Thank you. We were gonna call them
"P'Holes" originally. -P'Jee Holes.
-P'Jee Holes! Oh, I've got to laugh this way.
[ Laughter ] Dude, we --
So, we came up with that thing. We had a P'Jimmie Jammy Jam
on the show, and we sold out in a night.
-That's great. -And all the money
went to Feeding America, so it was good cause.
It was just cool. And it's like so --
My kids were part of that photo shoot,
and now they kind of -- They think they know how
to pose now and be famous, so every time I take a picture
of them, they pose. -Yeah, this is --
I mean, this is someone who really thinks
she knows how to pose. -Yeah, and I go, "Franny,
you do not have to pose. That's not --"
I go, "I was just taking a picture of you
in your bedroom. Just let me take a photo. I thought your sweater
was cute." Everything,
she just keeps going... Everything's that. And then the other one
gets involved. -This one's a little looser
with the pose. -Well, she was trying to guess, "Maybe two hands is better
than one with the pose." But now my kids won't do
anything but pose for photos. And I go, "That's not how -- You can just take
an actual photo. You don't have to
really do this." But it's the cutest thing.
I'm loving it. -Be natural like the giraffe.
-[ Laughing ] Yeah. Right. Yeah, just be natural,
exactly, correct. -Uh, this is --
We're gonna be right back. We're gonna talk about your
fourth -- your fourth book. -Wow. Is it though?
[ Both laugh ] We'll be right back
with more from Jimmy Fallon. Those are outstanding shoes. -What are you talking --
Am I wearing shoes? -They're so good.
You might not remember this. My first year on the show,
you would -- it was a time -- You were on the show
longer than me. -Uh-huh.
-Although this never happened for me, so maybe this
had not anything to do with tenure,
but people would send you shoes, and you would have, like,
boxes of shoes. And I remember once --
You were being very cool. It was my first year
on the show, you're like, "Hey!
You want these shoes?" And they were like these orange,
furry Adidas shoes. -Yes!
Oh, I remember that! -You remember them, right?
They're the ugliest shoes in the world, but I was --
I just assumed, because you gave them to me,
they were cool shoes. And I remember wearing them
to see my college friends. I had basically been on the show
for three months, and just, like,
walked into a Chicago bar, and they were like, "No!"
-"What the heck?! He gave them to you
for a reason! You shouldn't wear -- no one
should wear those shoes!" [ Laughter ]
They look like Muppets. -Yeah, they were Muppets.
-They were fuzzy shoes. -And they were real bad.
-They were awful. -And it was an act -- I'd like
to believe it was an act of -- You were testing me,
and I failed. -I remember,
everything I got sent, I used to wear,
'cause it's free clothes. So, I go, "This is amazing."
And I think -- I want to say Hugo Boss
sent me a jacket. It was one of the first things
I got. And it was silver.
Like, metal silver. Like aluminum foil.
-Right. -And I go, "This is --
I guess I can wear this?" And I went to a bar
over on 9th Avenue or something, wearing this
aluminum-foil jacket at like 3:00 in the morning,
and I got mugged. [ Laughter ] And these guys were like,
"Give me that jacket." I go, "Absolutely.
You got it, man." The guy was like -- I almost wanted to give
it to him too fast. He was like, "You know what?
We're cool." And I go,
"You don't want the jacket?" He's like, "I don't, actually."
I go, "Okay." And I left -- I go, "I'm never
wearing this dumb thing --" -A mugger --
When I wore your shoes, a mugger stopped me
and gave me money for new shoes. [ Laughter ] This is your fourth book.
-Unbelievable. -And this is the most words
in any of your books. -This, for me,
is a real tour de force. This is, like --
This is, like, my "Goldfinch." [ Laughter ] This is --
This is unbelievable. What I've done here was -- Finally got my money's worth
on my laptop. -Yeah.
-'Cause, like, really, I go, the other books have kind of
been like text messages turned into books.
-But I will say, as someone
who has your other books, they're wonderful
for a certain age. And I imagine that your kids
get a little older, and then you write a book
that they will be into. -Yeah.
So, this one is -- You know, what happened is,
I always wanted to do a Christmas book,
and I just couldn't think of what the hook was
or what I wanted to do. 'Cause I'm telling you, man,
it's the coolest vibe when you write a book,
and it was, you know, "Dada moo, Dada quack,"
that was the first book. And then, you get these videos
of these kids reading the book with their parents back to you,
and it's awesome. You start getting --
I got videos from teachers saying, like,
"Hey, you're teaching confidence in these kids to, like, laugh
and know that reading's cool," and you go like, "Oh, my gosh.
Of course. That was my plan
the whole time." [ Laughter ]
And so, you get a good buzz. And so, I was walking Winnie
home from school one day, and she goes, "How many more
sleeps till we go to --" And she doesn't even
have a lisp. I just did that, because
it makes her sound cuter. And she goes --
She was so cute -- "How many more sleeps
till we go to grandma's house?" And I go --
My kid sounds like Jay Leno now. [ Laughter ]
My kid is -- [ As Jay Leno ]
"How many more sleeps till we, uh,
go to grandma's house?" [ Laughter ] Dude, I get everything
from Leno. I get everything --
My kids talk like Jay Leno. -It's weird, because
you're a good impressionist, and now we're seeing
you can't do your kids. It's very interesting.
-Can't do my kids. -It's like your blind spot
as an impressionist. -So she -- I go,
"How many more sleeps?" That's so cute. I didn't have sleeps
when I was growing up. I had days -- "How many more
days until something?" I go, "Five More Sleeps
'Til Christmas" would be cute, because I couldn't always wait
for Santa to come. -I was talking to my son
about Christmas and telling him
how I could never sleep the night before Christmas.
And then I realized, it wasn't a helpful thing
to tell him, because I'm basically giving him
an excuse to now... -Yeah.
-...turn around on Christmas Eve and be like, "You couldn't
do it, either, old man!" -Yeah.
The fun about these things, too, is, like, you make it
short enough so that it counts as a book, but it's also
long enough, so it is a book, but there's spaces in there
so that you can go like, "Yeah, these are toys
that he's dreaming about." And then you go like,
"You know, when I was a kid, I had a dream about this toy."
You know, my favorite toy, I remember, I was growing up,
and I wanted this robot called Marzon.
It was a walking robot. And it was in -- I just saw the commercial
for it, like... ♪ Marzon ♪
And I go, "Oh, I'd love that." So I asked Santa for Marzon. And so, basically,
what Marzon was, is an inflatable robot
that you hooked this plastic thing to the feet
and turned it on, and the plastic would move
the robot and whatever. And I think Santa was testing
out the eggnog the night before. [ Laughter ] Let's just say, the plastic part
didn't come with my Marzon. So, I got an inflatable doll
for Christmas. And I woke up, I go,
"Oh, my gosh! Marzon!
Santa's the best." And I go in, and it's just
an inflatable robot. [ Laughter ]
And that's all it does. It doesn't do anything.
-No walking. -Doesn't walk. No, that part
did not come with my toy. But, I mean, you tell these
fun stories when you're reading to your kids, you're like,
"Oh, I remember. I did this and all that stuff." And then, the spoiler at end
of this -- my M. Night Shyamalan of children's book authors,
at the end is, you see that it's all about
the buildup of getting the toys. It's all about the fun and
the singing and the decorating, and this type of year
and just getting to it, and that's kind of
the point of it. The kid wants to get excited
for next Christmas. -Which does also makes sense,
because, ultimately, even if your Marzon
had the right stuff, about an hour into it -- -I wouldn't be playing
with Marzon. My grandfather use to throw it
out of the upper window. When a school bus would come
and pick me and my sister up in front of our house,
and he would just try to embarrass me
every time he could, 'cause all the kids
are on the bus, waiting for us. And we'd get on the school bus, and he would come out
in a clown wig or something. And they'd be like,
"What's going on?" And then, I remember,
he threw Marzon out the second-floor window,
and everyone's like, "What is going on?
The Fallons are so weird, man. Please be a comedian
when you grow up." Yeah. -Congrats on the book,
my friend, and thanks for being here. You're going downstairs
to do a show now. -Yeah. Here we go.
Yeah. I got to say, thanks for doing
what you're doing, man. I was like, "I gotta come up
and tell you guys you're doing a great job,
'cause I watch you every night. And, yeah.
I really appreciate it, bud. You're awesome.
-Right back at you. -Best to Alexi and the kids.
-And the same to you. "The Tonight Show
starring Jimmy Fallon" airs weeknights at 11:35 p.m.,
right here on NBC. I feel like, if you're watching
this, you knew that. Yeah, if you go back in time -- -It's like,
"Who's watching this, Cher?" [ As Cher ]
♪ If I could turn back time ♪ -Wait. Is that Winnie?
-Yeah, I'm doing -- [ Laughter ] That's my Jay Leno impression! -"Five More Sleeps
'Til Christmas" is available now wherever books are sold,
but now is a great time to support your local
and independent bookstores.
