-It is time to play a game of deception called
"True Confessions." [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -My first opponent tonight
is the host of "Late Night
with Seth Meyers." Please welcome Seth Meyers! [ Cheers and applause ]
Wow. Smooth.
Smooth as silk. What's that?
[ Both laugh ] -I, uh -- I came --
-Wow. Smooth as silk. -I came in
for rehearsal earlier. -You really -- wow.
Oh, my God. Seth Meyers with us.
Seth and I will be facing off against a very talented actress. Her new show,
"Kevin Can F Himself," airs Sundays at 9:00 p.m.,
on AMC. Give it up for Annie Murphy! [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ All right, that's --
that's what I'm talking about. That's what it's all about.
All right. -Yes.
-Here we go! All right.
Here's how this works. In front of us are two envelopes
containing confessions. One is true, the other is a lie. Once you read your confession,
the other two players get to interrogate you.
Then they have to -- You have to come up --
they have to come up with a unanimous decision --
is it the truth or a lie? -Mm.
-Seth, you will go first. -Okay.
-What envelope should he open? One or two?
What do you guys think? [ Crowd shouts two ]
-Whoa! Unanimous two. -They all said two, you know?
-Two. -I quit Pop Warner Football
because we had to strip to our underwear,
and I wasn't wearing any. [ Laughter ] -You quit Pop Warner because -- You're very athletic.
So I would say you did play Pop -- what --
Did you play any other sports? -Yeah.
I played baseball, sure. Ran a little track.
-Uh, I have a question. -Sure. -Why were you not
wearing any underwear? -I was in a rush
to get to Pop Warner Football. [ Laughter ]
-Why were you in a rush? -Yeah, why were you
in a rush that day? -I was excited.
-How excited were you? [ Laughter ] -You guys,
this is about football. -I know, of course it is!
Yeah. You were excited.
You go, "I can't wait. I'm going
to Pop Warner Football." -Yeah.
-And you go to them, they go, "Hey, we got to strip down so
you can get sized up." -Yeah. They're like,
"We need to figure out what size you guys are
for your pads." -And Pop -- And Pop Warner is --
you're teenaged? No. -Younger.
-Younger than that. -12.
-12! -Wow.
-Yeah. -Would you ever leave the house
with no underwear? -I mean, I would say one out of
every five days I would. [ Laughter ]
-What were you wearing? -Jeans.
-Wow. Jeans, no undies.
-Mm-hmm. -Ouch!
-Yeah. That's rough stuff there.
This is very interesting. Because I feel like
you're so tricky that you would make me believe
this whole thing about football. Because I know you like sports.
-Yeah. -So that would have me steer off and believe
whatever story about sports. -If I was lying,
that's exactly what I'd do. [ Laughter ] -I mean,
I don't know you at all. -Right.
[ Laughter ] -So this is --
-This could go either way, yeah. -This could go either way.
This is difficult. -I think --
I'm gonna say it's true. Do you agree with me? That he didn't have
any underwear? -I think you're lying.
-Wait. You think he's lying? -I think he's lying.
-Oh. I'm gonna stick with Annie,
then. -Oh!
[ Laughter ] -Well, we have to be unanimous. -Oh, we have to be unanimous?
-Yeah, yeah. -Oh, well, no.
That's is a lot of pressure. -Yeah.
We think you're lying. -Well, you're lucky Annie's here
because it's a lie. -Ah!
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ You saved me. You saved me.
-I do want to -- -Yes.
What? -It happened to my brother.
[ Laughter ] -Is he okay?
-He's fine. He left.
-Yes. -And then I was also there
and had to play a whole year of Pop Warner Football. -All right.
All right, it's my turn. Which one should I open?
One or two? What do you think?
[ Crowd shouts one ] How come two for Seth
and I get one? All right, here we go.
Ready for this, bud? When I was a kid,
I dreamt of being a professional wrestler
called The Priest. [ Laughter ] -I think wrestlers are known
for having trademark moves. What was The Priest's
trademark move? -I had two trademark moves.
One was, I would -- I would put you in
a grapple hold, submission, until you confessed a sin.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ] And so then I would know,
like, sins. It was a good storyline,
you know? -Sure.
-'Cause I'm a big fan of, uh -- Yeah, WWE.
WWF at the time. My other move was,
if I body slam you, and then I would pull out holy
water and bring you back to -- [ Laughter ]
I'd bring you back to life. The Priest.
-Both very good. -Uh, what did you wear?
-Uh, here's -- Well, I made it out of
cardboard, like poster board. Like, the little --
the priest's, uh... The thing.
-The collar. -The collar. But I didn't
actually have a full-on uniform. But if I did,
it would be that and a robe. But then when I got in the ring,
I would take the robe off, and I would have just the collar
and maybe two little things, almost like a little
Chippendales dancer. [ Laughter ]
-Ah. -Play-out music?
-I was thinking cathedral organ. [ Laughter ]
Like, full-on Church Lady. -Yeah.
-Like -- yeah. And it would go announce
that The Priest is here. And I would come out
with incense. [ Laughter ]
-Mm-hmm. -Doing the thing.
And I think that people would be totally into it.
Uh -- The Priest. -Was this something you shared
with your friends? I assume you watched wrestling
with friends your age. Is this --
Did they know at the time that you wanted
to be The Priest? -I didn't think -- no. They didn't really
know at the time. But I was just so --
Everyone was really into it. -Was everyone really into it?
[ Laughter ] -Yeah, but no.
I didn't wrestle kids. I would wrestle dolls and stuff. But I would say I was into,
like -- [ Laughter ] Yeah, I'd do moves --
-[ Laughing ] What? -I'd do moves on, like, my sister's Cabbage Patch
and stuff, yeah. But that was my dream.
I was gonna be a professional wrestler, and --
but I couldn't -- [ Light laughter ]
-No. -I was too skinny. -Annie and I have decided.
-Yeah. -I'm not done --
-We decided... -I'm not done explaining.
-...like five minutes ago. -I'm not done explaining. -I think
we're done listening, Jimmy. -No, no, no, no, no.
When I was a kid, I dreamt of being a wrestler
called The Priest. -Uh-huh.
-We, uh -- We're of the shared opinion,
Jimmy -- that's a lie. ♪♪ -It is a lie.
That is a lie. You got it.
That's good. [ Cheers and applause ]
I thought maybe, I don't know. I don't know.
I didn't know if -- I did, actually, at one point
want to be a priest. -Right.
-So, I thought maybe a little curveball on that truth
might have got in your head a little bit.
Because you know me. -You were gonna be a priest
and dress the same way you described the wrestler.
-Right. -Yeah, as a Chippendales. -And that's when they
sent you right home. -Same entrance!
[ Laughter ] -They sent you right home
from seminary. -Same entrance -- exactly, yes. Annie, it is your turn to go. Gosh, this is interesting.
All right. One or two.
What do you think? [ Crowd shouting ] That's a mixed bag.
[ Crowd shouting ] -I'm hearing "boo"
instead of "two," so I'm gonna do one.
-I didn't hear any boos. All right, here we go.
-Just straight-up boos. -This is good.
This is good. -Okay. I once licked Chris Martin's
sweat off my own hand. [ Laughter ] -At a concert?
You were at a concert? -I was at a concert.
-If that's true, that makes all three of us.
We've all done this. [ Laughter ] -Yeah, get --
-Get in line! -All right.
So you were at a concert. Were you in, like -- You had
good seats, I'm assuming. -Great.
All access. All access. I don't want to brag,
but all access. -So is this --
Is this post-celebrity for you? -This is pre-celebrity.
-Pre-celebrity. -Yeah, like 10 years ago.
-Okay. -You're a Coldplay fan.
-Yeah. -Just throw some songs out.
What do you like? -"Fix you."
-Yeah, sure. Of course. -The one that goes...
♪ Whoa oh oh, oh oh ♪ [ Laughter ] Um, uh -- "The Scientist." -"The Scientist," okay.
-"The Scientist." -"Yellow."
-"Yellow." -Wow!
Deep cuts. -"Court and Spark."
[ Laughter ] -"Court and Spark"? You're just making up words
at this point. And how did you end up
touching Chris Martin? -He -- I was actually
about three rows deep. -Wow! And you still made it
to the stage. -Well, it was the lurch.
It was, like, the -- -I love that you're coming down
like you're taller than Chris Martin
when he's on stage. You would be lurching up --
-He was not on stage. -Oh!
-A twist. -Your Honor.
A twist in the case. -He was doing crowd work?
-He was doing -- [ Laughter ]
-I wouldn't call it crowd work. -I think you do call it
crowd work. -I think comedians do --
-No, he was doing a stand-up set.
[ Laughter ] -Crowd work.
-Trying some new material out. -Yeah.
-So he's doing crowd work. He's in there. He's going,
"Montreal, I love you guys. You guys are the best." And then he makes
eye contact with you? -Nope.
-No. Wow. But you were trying to force it.
-Yes. -And you were
moving your eyes like, "Hey, make eye contact with me."
-Indeed, yeah. -And grabbed him. And he pulled away and then you
had his sweat on your hand. Now what -- your immediate
reaction was to lick it off? -Yes.
-Gotcha. So you were worried
something would happen. Security would run over
and wipe the sweat off. [ Laughter ]
-Yes, before I was able to -- -Yeah, so you're like "I got to
get this into mouth fast." -Who were you with?
-A bunch of my friends. -And did they all freak
that you touched his hand? -They looked at me with...
pride and disgust. [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. And disgust after the lick
or pre-lick? -After the lick. -I thought they were disgusted
maybe the "how dare you" lurch? -It was pre- and post-lick.
-Was there an awkwardness after the fact that you hadn't
saved any licks for them? [ Laughter ] -Yeah, yeah. -That might be why
we don't speak anymore. [ Laughter ]
-Sure. -I'm gonna say, I think this
is a real licking. -I think this is a real -- I'm picturing it the way
Winnie the Pooh goes at honey... [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. -...after he pulls it
from the jar. Just like -- yeah.
So I'm with you. I think this is a real thing. -I wish --
Were you on the Jumbotron? -No. I wish.
No. -You wish?
But you were. Whoa, you slipped!
Wait -- [ Laughs ] Busted!
It did happen? -It did happen.
-Yes! -That's what
I'm talking about there! Wow.
[ Cheers and applause ] That was the giveaway, though. That was a confession
right there. -Really good work.
-I wish it was on Jumbotron, because he's --
Really, you love Coldplay? -Yeah.
-Who didn't? -Who doesn't?
-But it was something that was --
I didn't plan it. It was just a voice in my head
that was like, "You need to do it."
-Yeah. -And just do it.
-And I did it. And it wasn't --
You know, I love Coldplay as much as the rest of us. -No, I'm --
You like him a little bit more. [ Laughter ]
-You licked his sweat. I love that that's true.
Thank you guys for playing. You're very good at this.
Seth Meyers, Annie Murphy!
Ew, Annie
She is so lovely, I met her in Atlantic city and she was so nice, took a pic with me any everything!